I can't let go of what my boyfriend did
Q. Hello, I recently posted about my boyfriend crossing the line. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-think-this-is-not-acceptable-and-he.html Him and I talked about it and he says he understands how I see that he crossed the line and that he will...
A. 12 March 2019: Thanks for the update, OP
While I'm sorry it didn't work out for the two of you, I think it was for the best (especially for you).
When you feel like you HAVE to monitor your partner's location, phone, email, social media... the trust is gon... (read in full...)
Do I stay with my job with little time off and great money or go for something less stressful?
Q. This isn't a relationship question, but a work one instead. Last year I posted a question about becoming a chef and got loads of great replies. I love most of my job and the pay is good and I have had a promotion and my manager wants to promote...
A. 11 March 2019: So you don't really have the "I'm going to be the next Gordon Ramsey" ambitions. AND THAT IS FINE! So, I'd say look for a LESS stressful chef/cooking job. Sure it might be less money but is the stress WORTH that extra money?
There is NO one sayi... (read in full...)
Divorced guy asked me for drinks then backtracked and said that we should stop before things get complicated!
Q. Theres this guy that ive been talking to via email. We know each other well due to his son going through school with my brother. Ive always liked him, but never really said anything. So recently I decided to send him a message to see how he was. We ...
A. 11 March 2019: EDIT...
I meant to say:" The fact that he suggested drinks at HIS place, kinda of makes me think he WASN'T thinking to DATE you seriously anyways. ... (read in full...)
Divorced guy asked me for drinks then backtracked and said that we should stop before things get complicated!
Q. Theres this guy that ive been talking to via email. We know each other well due to his son going through school with my brother. Ive always liked him, but never really said anything. So recently I decided to send him a message to see how he was. We ...
A. 11 March 2019: When a guy says something like "it's complicated" it's basically a "nice" way to let you down and to try and nip anything further in the bud from happening.
If he JUST got divorced in late December. Which means that he and his ex-wife and his kid(... (read in full...)
He changed his looks and I am no longer attracted at all to him. Do I end things?
Q. Hi I’ve been dating a guy for 6 months- it’s had it’s ups and downs- mainly as it started as a friendship with absolutely no sexual attraction on my behalf . I’ve never looked at him and thought ‘god your handsome’ but he has a lovely personali...
A. 9 March 2019: I think you should end it.
You don't think he should "follow his own bliss" but stick to YOUR standards and that isn't fair. Just like you wouldn't be very happy if he told you that he really only want to be with you if you become a blond/br... (read in full...)
Do I stay with my job with little time off and great money or go for something less stressful?
Q. This isn't a relationship question, but a work one instead. Last year I posted a question about becoming a chef and got loads of great replies. I love most of my job and the pay is good and I have had a promotion and my manager wants to promote...
A. 9 March 2019: I think it depends VERY much on where you see yourself in 3-5 years.
If you are fine with being a lunch lady, then go for switching jobs. If you want a career and to make a name within the restaurant business, you will have to put in the hours an... (read in full...)
She blocked me on facebook because I looked her up
Q. Been seeing this woman for four months, have a lot of fun going out dancing movies places to eat, the sex is great, but she only has time to see me once a week,I told her I looked her up on Facebook, she got really mad,she said that's personal, so ...
A. 9 March 2019: If she has been seeing you and been INTIMATE with you for 4 months HOW is her public social media Private"? What can be MORE private and personal than intimacy?
I'd just block her and move on.
There is something VERY fishy about this woman... (read in full...)
I can't let go of what my boyfriend did
Q. Hello, I recently posted about my boyfriend crossing the line. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-think-this-is-not-acceptable-and-he.html Him and I talked about it and he says he understands how I see that he crossed the line and that he will...
A. 9 March 2019: I'm sorry OP,
But I'm not going to change my advice.
I STILL think you should CUT your losses and find a guy that isn't Long Distance and who ACTUALLY respects you and NORMAL boundaries people have in a relationship..
I GET that you don't ... (read in full...)
My husband just revealed he has been anal douching! I had no idea and don't know how to take it? Title
Q. My husband just revealed something to me I NEVER knew after 6 years of marriage! He has been anal douching for 10 years. I had no idea. I've watched him take showers before but never saw him do such a thing. I am now wondering if he could be ...
A. 9 March 2019: Why didn't you ask him why?
I'd be curious if my husband made such a statement. NOT because I would ASSume (sorry, that was too obvious) that he was cheating, but there WOULD be a reason to tell me and a reason to mention it, I'd wager.
There i... (read in full...)
Is our relationship cooling off? I'm unsure of the signs I am seeing
Q. Hi all ———— I’m in a new ish relationship. We met actually almost 6 weeks now and at first I felt like he came on really strong and wanted to see me a lot and made every excuse to find time to be around me..(his work can be difficult at tim...
A. 9 March 2019: Honestly?
I think he has realized that WHILE you two have SOME common goals (family and kids) you also want to change him or want him to change.
Not being a fan of a weed-smoking partner IS totally OK, however, THIS is who he is and what he d... (read in full...)
Do I have a valid reason to leave him?
Q. Hi. I am currently confused at the moment. Can somebody tell me what to do? So i met this guy on a dating site a month ago. Everything went well, we do video call for hours, we made plans for the future, he tells me i love you and misses me. But as ...
A. 7 March 2019: You have only known him a month, never met in person and he isn't treating you in a nice way. For anyone to say they want to slap you in the face, that should be a HUGE clue for you to NOT talk to them.
Don't waste your time on this one. The whol... (read in full...)
He ended it when I thought things were going well. How do I let it go?
Q. I was talking with a guy for a little over a month and last week he invited me out on a first date. We had coffee, chatted, it was really nice. We went back to his flat share and watched 3 hours of Dave Chappelle. At one point I asked him if I could ...
A. 7 March 2019: Don't waste any more time on this one.
I think all he really wanted was to bed you and once that got done... he was done with you.
He shouldn't have been pursuing you knowing full well that ALL he has to offer is sex and minimal investme... (read in full...)
I suspect he’s trying to cheat on her with me. Should I confront him?
Q. I matched with his guy on a dating site a couple months ago and give him my number. He clearly only wants to hook up and that's ok with me because I'm not trying to date him, just wanna have some fun with him. We have yet to meet in person but I did ...
A. 7 March 2019: Could be his sister and nephew/niece. Could be his GF/child or a friend and her kid. It's impossible to guess.
But for me the "clincher" is that he ONLY texts you late at night on weekends. THAT sounds pretty odd.
I'd just block this one a... (read in full...)
He ended things suddenly but I still like him. How do I deal with this?
Q. A guy I was seeing was giving me all the signals that he wanted more and I went with the flow. Suddenly he's ended everything and said he just wants to be friends.. I asked him whats going on because I'm so confused. And he said that at this poi...
A. 7 March 2019: I agree with YouWish,
CUT him lose. BLOCK and move on. Sure, you might have liked him but he wasn't a good fit.
He CAN commit, but he doesn't WANT to. There is a difference there. IF he really WANTED to be with you, he'd find a way to make it w... (read in full...)
Colleague thinks my new man is settling for me! Should I do anything about it?
Q. So basically my question is around a new romance I have just started. Myself and the man I’m seeing both work in the same industry but we don’t work together in the same company. But our paths sometimes cross at networking events etc which is how we ...
A. 7 March 2019: Honestly?
This is where I would GO with my gut and not what a friend tells me. If you are all in your 30's you should all be mature enough to not blindly trust what a friends tells you.
If they USED to be coworkers and are friendly then su... (read in full...)
I love a guy who is nothing like my abusive ex. But we are of different religions!
Q. I m in my mid 20s. I started dating a when I was 18. Through all bad times we were together. Long story short I was abused mistreated by him. He was verbally nd at time phsycially abuse too . He ghosted me then I was begging him to talk. His ...
A. 7 March 2019: Aside from being in love, what kind of future DO you have together?
If you have to be realistic.
It is entirely possible to LOVE someone, or care deeply and NOT be a good match.
I think this is a conversation you NEED to have with your f... (read in full...)
He is letting the landlord make our garden smaller! Am I wrong to be annoyed?
Q. hi am I being unreasonable with this my partner and I have been in a private rented house for 5 years I was at work the other night and a neighbour came to the door to tell us he had phoned our landlord about buying some of our garden for his nanna ...
A. 7 March 2019: It's not your house, not your property so not really YOUR call.
I can imagine it's annoying to have a garden shrink, when you actually use what you had.
The thing is, your landlord probably has every right to sell off parts of the property.
... (read in full...)
Should I see my one night stand again? I'm not interested in sex with him again
Q. I had a one night stand two nights ago. We were at his house and I left in the middle of the night because I couldn’t sleep and I wanted to go home. During the night I had given him an old number that is disconnected because I wasn’t sure at the ...
A. 5 March 2019: What's the point in meeting up?
If he is looking for something more than a ONS and you are not, then don't waste his time or yours.
You don't OWE him to meet up again, or anything else.
But I will say this. DON'T give out a number that d... (read in full...)
I feel like I am second prize and he is with me because he can't get the porn models he looks at
Q. The man I’m dating looks at a lot of porn . (I’ve seen it when I visit his home ) it’s just glamour model after glamour model and women way out of his league . Much younger and models . It makes me think he’s dating me only because I’m all he can ...
A. 5 March 2019: So why are you with him?
The only one MAKING you feel inferior here, IS you. However HIS actions (watching a LOT of porn) doesn't seem like something you want in a partner, so again... WHY are you with him?... (read in full...)
I want to settle down he wants to date for a few more years
Q. Hello, I just got out a two year long relationship because my boyfriend won’t commit to me. I’m not blaming him, I respect what he’s dealing with and I miss him A lot. But there were some flaws that I couldn’t ignore. We have been in a long dist...
A. 5 March 2019: Dating, relationships and marriage IS about compromises, hard work and LOOKING for solutions that SUIT you both.
I think YOU compromised "too much" and HE not at all. Which makes for a uneven relationship.
YOU can LOVE someone and NOT be a goo... (read in full...)
I have a boyfriend but had a one night stand. Pregnant and not sure who the father is
Q. I habe been dating my bf for almost 6 months now. He is a great guy and i really like hin. But i made a huge mistake. I have been talking to a guy I met in an online chat room for almost a year now, 2 months ago he flew to my home town and we spent ...
A. 5 March 2019: Well, the pregnancy isn't going to go away or be something you should hide.
YOU chose to have unprotected sex with TWO guys. Own you actions.
The sooner you tell your Dad, your BF AND your "fling", the sooner you can focus on having a healthy... (read in full...)
He is all that I have ever wanted but I feel trapped. Is an open relationship the answer?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years, we met when we started university. All through these years I've been looking forward to graduating, getting a flat together and settling down. Now I'm coming to the end of my degree and I'm panicking because ...
A. 5 March 2019: Why would anyone marry someone who doesn't want sex? Sex is part of a healthy relationship.
If you feel like you aren't living life to the fullest or that you will miss out if you stay, then maybe, as much as you care for this guy, you have OUT... (read in full...)
I had a dream about a younger girl I think of as a sister. I feel guilty about it
Q. My best friend, Danny, has a sister, Lisa, that is nine years younger than us. Danny and I turn 30 years old in March and April and Lisa is 21 years old. I been knowing Lisa since she was 8 years old so I got to watch her grow up and I always ...
A. 5 March 2019: It happens.
And there really isn't much you can do. It's like when you have a dream about someone you care about who (in your dreams) did something awful and you wake up PISSED OFF at them. THEY didn't do squat! You know this but you are still MA... (read in full...)
I’ll go on what seems to be a very good date and then never hear back!How do I stay positive?
Q. I’ve been using a popular dating app and marchebwkth a guy who also put that he was looking for a relationship on his profile. He asked me out and we had a great date this Friday . Lots of laughs, chemistry, etc. I was careful to keep things ligh...
A. 5 March 2019: Not everyone who puts "looking for a relationship" IS actually looking for a relationship.
I have seen that many times. My BIL had been, for the last 6 years, on dating sites trying to find a good partner and honestly? I have never seen such a b... (read in full...)
I want to teach my cheating ex a lesson
Q. Hi! I'm 29 and got married last year. I'm happy with my husband, but my ex bf still calls me despite he being married. He says that he can't forget me, and still wants me. I cleared the air that I'm happy with my husband and won't ever leave him for ...
A. 5 March 2019: BLOCK him and get a new phone number. Let his e-mail go straight to the trash.
No matter what you do he will see it as YOU wanting him as well.
You NEED to move on and focus on your marriage and husband, not some past loser who cheated on you.... (read in full...)
I feel confused and anxious about him not speaking to me except by text Saturday evening!
Q. I have been in a relationship for 18 months with a great guy.This is an intensely passionate but in my opinion emotionally healthy relationship.We have hurdles but we have overcome them.Apart from one massive issue which is my fears of abandonment ...
A. 5 March 2019: Wow, OP
He can't even take a day off to chill without you falling apart?
You are in the AGE group who gr up WITHOUT having a cell phone attached to you and should remember what it was like when people would BE BUSY with life and not constant... (read in full...)
Why didn't he want to come home with me?
Q. I've been dating this guy for about a month now. He said he likes me and wasn't seeing anyone else. On our last date, we had a passionate make out and he said that I was beautiful and sexy and really turned him on. In fact, he had to stop himself a ...
A. 5 March 2019: He is 4 years younger than you. THAT might be a clue as well.
If he is impatient or immature, he isn't going to wait around for sex.
It just doesn't make much sense for him to take you out to a nice dinner and then dump you by "ghosting" you. ... (read in full...)
Friend wants more with a guy but hes holding back
Q. My friend has been seeing a man she met online a few month ago. She knows hes still on the dating site and he knows she came off as soon as she met him. They have both been very open and honest with each other. He knows she wants a relationship but ...
A. 3 March 2019: She should let him go.
She isn't looking for a friend and she doesn't WANT him as a friend so again, let him go and BLOCK him.
If a GUY goes on dating sites, but "doesn't know what he wants" then one thing is a given, HE DOESN'T WANT HER... (read in full...)
3 plus affairs, Do my wife really love me?
Q. My wife and I have been married for 28 years. However, in those 28 years, my wife has had 3 affairs on me that I catch her doing. I now have the same feeling that something is going on. What I am mostly concerned about is do she really love me or is ...
A. 3 March 2019: I don't think what she feels for you is love. I don't think decent people CHEAT on people they love.
What was her "excuse" for her last 3 affairs?
And why did you stay with her when she cheated on you MULTIPLE times? Don't you think YOU deserv... (read in full...)
Why didn't he want to come home with me?
Q. I've been dating this guy for about a month now. He said he likes me and wasn't seeing anyone else. On our last date, we had a passionate make out and he said that I was beautiful and sexy and really turned him on. In fact, he had to stop himself a ...
A. 3 March 2019: I think he is trying to be respectful of you wanting to wait. But a guy can only handle blue-balls for so long and then it might just be EASIER to not go inside with you for a few minutes.
I think you are being unreasonable here. You want to wait ... (read in full...)
Do couples that have been together a long time have deeper love?
Q. Hey all Might seem a silly question but i wondered if a couple are together a long time does it mean their love is going to be deeper than a couple who have say been together a couple of years as opposed to ten years?...
A. 3 March 2019: There are no "rules set in stone" for HOW deep a couples love it.
I think love can grow and keep on growing, the longer you are with someone, but it's not always in that "honey moon phase" kind of love, that isn't always sustainable.
Others ... (read in full...)
It is his 30th birthday at the end of March - What do I get the guy I have only been seeing for a few weeks?
Q. So I have only known this guy for a few weeks but I have found out that it is his 30th birthday at the end of the month. It is quite a significant birthday and whilst we haven't known each other long, he is incredibly thoughtful and we have been...
A. 2 March 2019: I would do something low key and NOT too expensive.
I agree a nice dinner, a card and a small gift (or no gift)
Small gift can be a book (on surfing or something Japanese inspired), a plant or something like that.
Since you have only k... (read in full...)
He is all that I have ever wanted but I feel trapped. Is an open relationship the answer?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years, we met when we started university. All through these years I've been looking forward to graduating, getting a flat together and settling down. Now I'm coming to the end of my degree and I'm panicking because ...
A. 2 March 2019: Having an open relationship is not something you can just take out of a box and put back when you have had enough.
Life is full of choices, OP and you are at a cross roads here. You have 2 choices.
One: you END your current relationship and... (read in full...)
He's doing weed yet again despite all my ultimatums
Q. Hi So me and boyfriend will have been together for 3 years (March 11th) and are in the process of looking to buy our first home. However, throughout the relationship he has struggled with an addiction to weed. He has repeatedly told me he's q...
A. 2 March 2019: The thing with ultimatums are that if you DO NOT follow through when things to to a head, THEY are POINTLESS.
HE knows that you probably won't leave. He knows that while you TOLD him, me or the weed, he was STILL CHOOSING weed on the side, an... (read in full...)
I asked my mother not to say negative things about my father and now she isn't speaking to me
Q. My parents are divorced and I live with my mother and younger brother. The break-up between my parents was extremely sour. My father was never really the "#1 dad" type of figure because he had his issues with a drug addiction. My brother and I never ...
A. 2 March 2019: Leave her be a while.
He probably DID hurt her tremendously and the trash talk is a way of processing it, but also "recruiting" you guys to not like him either, but also in a really roundabout way trying to warm you so YOU won't get hurt by him t... (read in full...)
Am I just being paranoid? Overthinking? Will I ruin things?
Q. Am I being paranoid? I have recently met a guy online and we have met a couple of times now, but I don't know if my current feelings are super paranoid or if I am looking at any red flags... This guy has been incredibly giving, thoughtful, k...
A. 2 March 2019: Sometimes the old adage, "If it SEEMS too good to be true, it probably is" makes sense.
If you like this guy just take it SUPER slow. If you feel he is really OVERDOING the lovey dovey and romantic gesture, then maybe he isn't for you.
Persona... (read in full...)
How can I tell my family I want to end my marriage? They aren't going to support me
Q. Hi.. ive been in really hard time right now. Ive made the worst decision in my life to marry my husband. We now have 5 months son and he is the only reason i stay. I think its the only reason too my husband and his parent still want me in their ...
A. 2 March 2019: Get yourself a job, get an income so you CAN support yourself and your son, JUST in case your parents won't help you get back on your feet.
YOUR priority should be your son and creating a healthy and stable environment for him to grow up in.
T... (read in full...)
Is all fair in love and war?
Q. I had an affair 7 years ago. He broke it off after 2.5 years. We boyh stayed married to our spouses. I really loved him and was heart broken. 2 months ago he reached out to me. He claims he still loves me, is in love with me and on and on. I ...
A. 2 March 2019: No.
It makes you JUST as bad as him, but in a sad and petty way.
I feel sorry for your husband, he deserves better. If you marriage is so boring and your husband so boring, why not LET him go find someone who might enjoy him? and you can DO w... (read in full...)
I have a crush on my lecturer, I think he likes me too.
Q. Hi, I have a huge problem... I've been married for four years now. I love my husband and he loves me. We are both so busy so we sometimes don't have time for each other. But we still love each other and we know it. In the meantime, I'm st...
A. 28 February 2019: Try and arrange some date-night with your husband. If you don't get much time together... make the most of it.
As for the crush on your lecturer... it happens. We all get them, married or not. IT IS what you DO with those feelings of attracti... (read in full...)
Should I move to the capital with him?
Q. Hey guys, I'm currently in a relationship with a guy I met through a house share (which i'm still at) and I really couldn't be happier. We bring the best out of each other in so many way and he's made me realise why it never worked out ...
A. 28 February 2019: I'm from a VERY small town in Denmark, when I turned 18 I took a year off before college and got a Job in London and it was the BEST :)
This new guy IS NOT your ex. Things didn't work out with your ex, because you weren't that well suited. ... (read in full...)
Why did he block me on Facebook?
Q. A guy and I liked each other in high school. After we'd graduated high school (and both moved to different towns), we finally properly began talking online after he reached out and admitted that he had a crush on me but was too shy to talk to me. I ...
A. 28 February 2019: Maybe he "cleaned" house. I know my husband removes people he hasn't spoken to in a long time (such as a year).
Maybe he realized that you were STILL with your BF and that your BF was OBVIUSLY more successful than him and thus he stood no chance w... (read in full...)
My new friend critizes my hair and clothes! How do I get her to back off?
Q. I am 53 years. and 6 months ago I was in a shop and met a lady who is 43 years old, she asked for my number after chatting to go out for coffee. She then asked for us to go out in the evenings, I have serious medical conditions and not in posit...
A. 28 February 2019: OP, Just tell her - I wish yo uthe best but I don't see this friendship working and you are I are just two very different people.
AND THEN... you BLOCK her number and stop talking to her.
This isn't a friendship, this is some STRANGER trying ... (read in full...)
My bf just got tattoos for his deceased ex wife!
Q. I'd like to have some opinions about my situation. My bf just got huge tattoo representing his dead ex wife. We became couple after he was separated from his ex but shortly after she passed away and he was the one found her dead on the floor at...
A. 28 February 2019: Fact are,
YOU are "just friends", it's HIS body HIS choice (whether the art is tasteful or not, most tattoos have a deeper meaning for the wearer - for the most part.), this is HOW he has chosen to deal with her death and his loss. People mourn is... (read in full...)
Could these have been semen stains ... is he cheating on me?
Q. Hi guys. I just need some advise. I’m driving myself mad and keep toying between am I just being super paranoid or is my gut instinct trying to tell me something... basically I want to know show I be weary of my partner! We have been together ab...
A. 27 February 2019: YOU need to deal with this ASAP or you will lose him. NO ONE, I will repeat, NO ONE will accept being accused of things they didn't do and continue to feel loved and continue to love that accuser.
He will have a breaking point. And then you will... (read in full...)
| *oneypie's friends
These are mutual friends, so *oneypie has
added them and they have added *oneypie!
|
