I'm tempted to move out while he's away at the wedding
Q. I am having severe mixed feelings . My fiancé and I have been together 3 years (engaged for 9 months now) . Long story short things were extremely on and off for the first two years until he finally realized what he had and asked me to marry him . ...
A. 5 February 2019: While I agree with you Anon Female,
Who on Earth would want to go to a wedding of someone who CLEARLY hates (or seriously dislike you)? Why? Having to spend HOURS being fake? Not for the life of me would I want to go. I do GET why the brother ... (read in full...)
Do you think that sounds like she is looking for sex?
Q. Hi I met a girl online and on the same day she suggested I could visit her, stay in a hotel and she would spend the night with me. She says she wants something more than just a hookup. I'm really not sure what is going on here. Do you think that sou...
A. 5 February 2019: Oh this just came to me as well,
WHAT if she is a girl, but UNDER AGE? You just have NO idea of the kind of trouble this can lead to.
Getting to know someone online isn't ALWAYS something sinister or bad, but I think planning to book a hotel ... (read in full...)
I’ve lost steam! Any advice?
Q. I’m struggling to find motivation. I lost my job 9 months ago. I have been unable to find one, I found part time work, and that kept me going. I gave up my usual life to live frugally. I made some excuses to friends, as I cannot afford thier ac...
A. 5 February 2019: Oh and I forgot to mention, look into Temp services.
I was out of work for a couple of months and contacted a Temp Agency, all of a sudden I got offered job after job after job, just by having been a temp for 2-3 weeks.
... (read in full...)
Do you think that sounds like she is looking for sex?
Q. Hi I met a girl online and on the same day she suggested I could visit her, stay in a hotel and she would spend the night with me. She says she wants something more than just a hookup. I'm really not sure what is going on here. Do you think that sou...
A. 5 February 2019: I'd be vary too.
What if this isn't a girl, but a dude?
I think you should LOOK for a a girl to date closer to home, someone you can get to know IN PERSON, not over the Internet or phone or apps.
It doesn't sound like a good idea at all.... (read in full...)
I’ve lost steam! Any advice?
Q. I’m struggling to find motivation. I lost my job 9 months ago. I have been unable to find one, I found part time work, and that kept me going. I gave up my usual life to live frugally. I made some excuses to friends, as I cannot afford thier ac...
A. 5 February 2019: Like Code Warrior so wisely said,
DO NOT have any ZERO days. So do SOMETHING EVERY day. Spending 16 hours in bed will get you nowhere, and you know it.
Life isn't going to show up at your doorstep and give you a job you want, success or make ... (read in full...)
Sex hurts because of my ovarian cysts and I'm bored and frustrated with the limited bedroom action
Q. My husband and i have been together 5 years and married for 2 and a half. I have a son who is 10 year old from a previous relationship. My husband and my son have a great relationship. The problem im having is that my husband and i used to have r...
A. 5 February 2019: Do plan on trying to have a child? If so, go see your doctor and figure out where to go from there.
If you do not want any more children, discuss your options with your doctor as well.
I don't see how a sex therapist can fix anything as this... (read in full...)
I still might have feelings for my best friend , but we’re both with other people! What to do?
Q. hi, i'll try and keep this short as possible. almost 2 years ago, my best friend (let's call him j) and i both discovered we had feelings for each other, but we couldn't be together as he's with someone already (who's now become another one of my ...
A. 5 February 2019: I would suggest you do these 3 things.
1. STOP meeting up with J. No more cuddling and whatnot with someone ELSE's BF! IF he TRULY cares for you he will end it with his GF and maybe in time date you. Right now? He is just USING you.
2. Dump... (read in full...)
Does it sound like my boyfriend is married or not?
Q. I found out my boyfriend had someone else a couple of years ago.this woman has phoned me a few times claiming to be his wife but what she says doesn't add up.he admits to having had a relationship with her but denies they are married.when I first ...
A. 5 February 2019: I agree, to much drama and reasons for distrust.
Why waste time on this crap? Even if they aren't married she is OBVIOUSLY still part of his life somehow and could even get your name and number?
He also committed fraud to stay in the UK, how w... (read in full...)
I’m miserable in our relationship and don’t know what to do!
Q. Hi I’ve been with my fiancé for 5 years now we split up for a couple of months last year we got back together but I told him things needed to change as soon as he gets home from work he starts getting stoned I go to work half hour after he comes ...
A. 5 February 2019: Like Chigirl said, HE ISN'T going to change. You might WANT him to but HE doesn't.
Getting married won't change anything either.
HE is who he is. A boring stoner. Basically.
So YOU have to decide IS that who I really want to BE with? You two... (read in full...)
I love dogs but my boyfriend doesn't. How can I make him change his mind?
Q. My bf and me got into an argument tonight because we were talking about dogs and I said they are better than people. He asked why I think that. I said because dogs are so selfless and pure. They are always happy and love unconditionally. Unlike ...
A. 4 February 2019: You can't.
HE doesn't want a dog.
So what it comes down to is this, what is more important to you, getting a dog or staying with this guy?... (read in full...)
How do I turn men down without actually spelling it out that I'm not interested?
Q. So I feel a little ridiculous posting this but I never thought I'd have this problem! I need to figure out how to quickly, unambiguously turn men down. I feel so uncomfortable doing it that sometimes when I am asked to get together, I just...
A. 4 February 2019: It's not rude to say, No thanks I'm not interested.
You don't have to say NOT interested in YOU. Just a simple not interested.
What IS rude is to waffle with the whole " I just tell them I'm too busy now and maybe later. Or I don't reply at a... (read in full...)
I'm going out of my way to be good to his children as well as taking care of our family but all I'm reduced to is a mom and waitress.
Q. Hi I love my husband more than anything. He is a great dad and works really hard. However I am trying to think of ways to save our marriage as he just doesn’t see things from my point of view and very rarely listens to me unless it’s in an argum...
A. 4 February 2019: I'd say tone down the "trying too hard".
The kids DO NOT OWE you hugs. Doesn't mean they don't like you. It might be awkward for the kids ESPECIALLY if they mom have told them to NOT hug you, you just don't know. OR the kids FEEL the hugs are... (read in full...)
My mother-in-law is suddenly causing friction and problems in our marital life!
Q. My husband and I have been getting into a lot of disagreements/fights lately - mainly about petty things (money, household chores etc) but most have just built up over time. His mother has started to insert herself into this - and even when everyt...
A. 4 February 2019: United Front.
THAT is what you and your husband need to have.
While I understand she is concerned and she WANTS to help, her meddling isn't helping.
If you both agree on that statement, your HUSBAND (her son) need to be the one to have a ... (read in full...)
What is more important for a long term relationship: sexual attraction or comapnionship?
Q. The last two relationships I was in were with two very different types of people. One was with a guy who flirted with me from the day we met, and who I was strongly attracted to. Once we broke the ice we couldn't keep our hands off each other. The ...
A. 3 February 2019: I'm with Anonymous 123,
I'd say both. And yes, you CAN get both in a partner. I say compatibility is the key. People might think that opposite attracts... for some, yes but it also might not last because at someone the things that are "opposit... (read in full...)
I'm tempted to move out while he's away at the wedding
Q. I am having severe mixed feelings . My fiancé and I have been together 3 years (engaged for 9 months now) . Long story short things were extremely on and off for the first two years until he finally realized what he had and asked me to marry him . ...
A. 2 February 2019: The thing is OP, SHE can like or dislike you as much as she wants, SHE is entitled to her own opinion of you. Maybe... the reason she dislike you is because she felt YOU hurt HER brother. After all, all she went by is what HE told her.
Shoul... (read in full...)
My cheating ex dotes on his new girlfriend
Q. So I found out my partner was cheating on me November last year and I ditched him (yay) Our 2 year relationship was pretty rocky throughout and so I absolutely know in my head that I have done the right thing by leaving him. My gripe though...
A. 2 February 2019: Figure out two things, OP
Is being mad at him helping you move forward? Him occupying this much of your "brain", is it worth it? Helping?
And secondly, figure out who you are the most angry at. HIM or YOURSELF.
He might have been a rotten... (read in full...)
Girlfriend wants his Playstation
Q. Hellooo Everyone, I'm going to try and keep this simple. My boyfriend and I were meant to be going to visit his family for the weekend. On Saturday, I will be home alone for about 7 hours while everyone goes and watches a football game ...
A. 2 February 2019: "It's his playstation and I happen to want it this weekend, it should have just been packed."
Entitled much there, OP?
Get your own Playstation, then you can bring it wherever you like.
Your BF said no, you need to respect that. BRING a bo... (read in full...)
Were my in-laws out of line or did my brother overreact to an innocent question?
Q. My in-laws have a problem with boundaries and they are kind of are drama queens. My younger brother on the other hand is more of a private person. So my wife and I had a six month old baby. On Christmas Day, we all had our families over (m...
A. 2 February 2019: I agree with Cindy here, massive over reaction on your brother's side.
It's a pretty STANDARD question to be asked once you have reached ADULTHOOD and it's one that is EASILY handled in 2 seconds flat without the drama.
I'd say your BROTHER... (read in full...)
My b/f of 20 years threw me out in the middle of the night with nowhere to go and now wants me back
Q. my boyfriend of twenty years threw me out the house in the night in the city hundreds of miles from my family. he wouldn't let me sleep and told me to pack my bags, leave the keys or he would torture me until I left. I was very frightened as he had ...
A. 1 February 2019: Leave him and NEVER look back. NO ONE should have such much power over you or your life. THAT isn't love or caring.
He has also been violent with you... WHY would you ever consider going back to him? The man is abusive!
I have to ask... why di... (read in full...)
He’s obsessed with his appearance and I’m becoming I attracted to him!
Q. Hi all, so I’ve got an interesting issue that I’d love some insight on - so I’ve known my partner 11 years and have been together 3 years. He’s over 6ft tall, blue eyes and the buffest guy you’ll ever see yet he remains very modest (ie doesn’t ...
A. 31 January 2019: Maybe a comment made him re-think things. Like someone guessed him to be older than he is, or he has younger men who take VERY good care of themselves around him and he "feels" a need to "compete".
OR he wants' to look good for a special someone.... (read in full...)
Did I just ruin the best thing that's ever happened to me with one bad decision?
Q. I feel like a complete fool. Tonight I did something stupid and opened a message on my fiance's phone. I didn't even read the message bit then lied to him when he asked me if I had read his messages. I did come clean and it has really upset him. He ...
A. 30 January 2019: To the anon female who wrote:
"Am I the only one finding it a bit weird that he reacted so strongly?"
You go on to explain that in YOUR relationship it's the "norm" to check each other's phones when you hear a beep. Which is ALL WELL and goo... (read in full...)
I’m feeling guilty about enjoying my casual relationship
Q. I’ve been occasionally seeing a friend of a friend. We’ve gone on a few dates, but then I said I wasn’t looking for a relationship. I didn’t want to scare him off/wasn’t sure what I wanted. He’s been into me and contacting me for about 6 mont...
A. 30 January 2019: Why is he good enough to hang out with, have dated with and sex with by not "good enough" to actually date?
That would be my question.
I've never been a fan of casual sex. I get that some people just don't want to INVEST too much in someone ... (read in full...)
Did I just ruin the best thing that's ever happened to me with one bad decision?
Q. I feel like a complete fool. Tonight I did something stupid and opened a message on my fiance's phone. I didn't even read the message bit then lied to him when he asked me if I had read his messages. I did come clean and it has really upset him. He ...
A. 30 January 2019: So why did you open it?
Yes, I think it's wrong to go through a partner's phone. I know many younger than me people think it's "normal" and their "right", because if he doesn't have anything to hide you should be "allowed".
I don't agree with... (read in full...)
Did I just ruin the best thing that's ever happened to me with one bad decision?
Q. I feel like a complete fool. Tonight I did something stupid and opened a message on my fiance's phone. I didn't even read the message bit then lied to him when he asked me if I had read his messages. I did come clean and it has really upset him. He ...
A. 30 January 2019: What was the message, who was it from and BE HONEST why did you open it....
If you can answer that.. I'll give you my best opinion.... (read in full...)
How much do guys tell their friends about their dating life?
Q. I'm wondering how much guys discuss their love life with their guy friends. I tell my girlfriends everything, who I'm going out with, whether we hooked up etc. I'm on a dating site and I was seeing this guy who I liked for about a month. We only...
A. 30 January 2019: Does it really matter?
The first guy didn't work out, it was SOME guy you went on a date or two with over a "time span" of a month. THAT is it.
I think the fact that you didn't sleep with him might be a good advantage for YOU.
And how ... (read in full...)
He doesn't have a life beyond me and I don't like the pressure that it puts on me. I want a way out
Q. Hey all! This is a hard one for me... I am 26 years old and so is my partner. We have only been together about 3 months now. The relationship moved VERY fast, and we were saying I Love You after a month. I always told myself I wouldn't do that...
A. 29 January 2019: I would tell him, that you think he is a great person but you don't want a relationship right now.
That way you are letting him down in a "kinder" way instead of saying you cling and don't have a life.
Don't continue to date him. JUST becaus... (read in full...)
I just found out that he's married and having an affair with me behind his wife's back! I want to run but he makes me happier than I've ever been. What do I do?
Q. I have been dating the love of my life for 4 months. I am an extremely introverted person, but felt extremely comfortable with him from day 1. The connection that we share is indescribable. He is the sweetest, most loving man that I have ever met ...
A. 29 January 2019: You KNOW what to do.
You might just not be willing to do the right thing. Because YOU benefit from having this man in your life... or so you think.
Is your happiness worth another woman's misery? It's build on LIES and DECEIT, OP.
If you th... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend's behaviour normal? He's admitted to going really strange sexual things relating to the girl he liked!
Q. Hello. I’m starting to become a little bit freaked out by my partner. I just wanted to know how “normal” this was. He’s a normal man, hardworking, provides for the family, kind, caring and loving. He hasnt had many girlfriends in the past due to ...
A. 29 January 2019: I think he is oversharing some things with you.
You really don't NEED to know that hearing HER having sex or sniffing her panties got him aroused. I mean seriously, what kind of an idiot tell his GF details like that? UNLESS he either hopes YO... (read in full...)
Do I tell her my feelings and risk ending our friendship?
Q. Bit of a long question here, but I've got this friend that I met a few years ago and lived with for a year in university. Since then we have basically become best friends and throughout it I've always maintained us just being friends and had been ...
A. 29 January 2019: If she is STILL with this BF then you keep your mouth shut.
It's not really fair of you to PUT her in that position of you having feelings for you, but ONLY when she is no longer single.
And I have to say IF she felt romantically inc... (read in full...)
If he wanted to see me, why doesn't he?
Q. I met this guy online about a year ago, he lives an hour away from me. He kept messaging me about how beautiful and hot I was and said he wanted something fun and non committal. I said I wasn't looking for that and wished him luck in finding it. A ...
A. 29 January 2019: Amen to all that Tisha said.
Don't IGNORE all the red flags because you WANT this guy to WANT you or because you are apparently desperate to "reform" this loser.
My guess is that he actually started to see this other chick to get you to worry... (read in full...)
My husband with a panty fetish now says he wants panties from other women
Q. My husband of 6 years just came to me and said he has had a used panty fetish since before we were ever together (almost 10 years). While I am okay (and even flattered) that he has been using mine for his own pleasure, he has stated that he wants...
A. 29 January 2019: I'd have to question HIM that instead of strangers on the Internet.
Also, just because he WANTS panties from other people does it mean you HAVE to give "consent" to that? I'd ask him if his fetish is more important that the marriage.
Does it... (read in full...)
Why does he act this way?
Q. There is a guy who I see around my work sometimes and I am attracted to. I have tried hinting at him that I like him, such as telling him he makes me blush and tease him abit. He has given me high-fives, told me "we need more of you around" ...
A. 29 January 2019: Eh... no need to beat yourself up over some dude.
Just learn from this and let it go.
... (read in full...)
Why is he so reluctant to move in together?
Q. My boyfriend of 18 months is reluctant to move in together. We have discussed it and he has said that he wants to, in the next year. But when I try to talk about it he gets grumpy and seems uninterested and irritated. For example, I had to go home ...
A. 28 January 2019: Make a budget and start saving up. For a house or retirement.
Even on a low paid job you can save some money up. It just means for a while you might have to give up on some luxuries and cut down on non-essentials.
You have a degree, but in w... (read in full...)
My crush at work knows I like her. She has a boyfriend. What do I do now?
Q. Hello. I have a coworker I happened to like her. I met her at work and became a friend but I have started having a feeling for her just 2 months now since last December. So I just told her yesterday how I feel and she was surprised but it went well. ...
A. 27 January 2019: You HAVE been friend-zoned. That is what happens when you declare your feeling to someone WHO ALREADY has a partner. It RARELY works out. and she ONLY sees you as a friend. ACCEPT that.
I would suggest you leave her be, look for love elsewher... (read in full...)
New friendship w/ someone I met from a reality show
Q. Ok... I'm so confused. I am currently engaged. Not the best relationship by any means, but I am engaged and hoping for it to get better after a big move happens to get away from his insane and cruel family who hurt us pretty bad. Oddly en...
A. 27 January 2019: Eh SO freaking what that he is some Z-list "celebrity" WHO the F cares?!
You know his conversations with you aren't appropriate, he doesn't exactly act very much like a friend towards you - but my guess is yo uare SO "impressed" because of his "... (read in full...)
My daughter just found out that I am her biological father not the man she grew up calling dad. Do I contact her?
Q. My question is thirty years ago I was very much in love with my youth sweetheart,but she she got married but we never stopped seeing each other, she had to children, we didn't know if her daughter was her husband or mine but we split up for the ...
A. 27 January 2019: Leave it up to her. I'd say.
On the other hand are you still in contact with this " former sweetheart"? If so, maybe ask her what SHE thinks.
Could be your bio daughter knows, but doesn't WANT anything to do with you. After all you cheated on h... (read in full...)
I'm unhappy with the relationship want to end it but partner acts like nothing is wrong
Q. Hi guys. Im in deseperate need of advice because im literally at my wits end. My bf is 8 yrs younger than me. We have a 3 yr old together and i have a tennager daughter from a previous relationship. We had a whirlwind romance and i ended up pregnant ...
A. 27 January 2019: If he won't leave, then YOU might have to take the kids and leave (unless the house is yours).
He is your BF, not husband so you CAN kick him out. You might have to file for an eviction notice, you might want to check with a lawyer and set up v... (read in full...)
How is affection, spending time with someone or making sure your spouses needs are being taken care of, so many “things” to do for your wife that it would exclude her/me from the right to intimacy?
Q. I am currently three years into my second marriage. I have had successfull sexual relationships in the past. I have never ever experienced what I am currently experiencing so my question is two fold. 1. Is this a reasonable/healthy relationship? 2. ...
A. 26 January 2019: I have to agree, you have been married before.. so my guess is you KNOW this isn't normal for a husband to treat his wife like she is some "glory hole in a public bathroom for blowjobs".
And the fact that he somehow thinks you OWE him sexual f... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't want to go out on the weekends! He just wants to lounge around and have sex
Q. My boyfriend doesn't want to go out on weekends and just stay in and lounge around and have sex all weekend. He says he's tired as works all week but I'm getting bored not going out with him and I feel every time I bring up the subject it becomes a ...
A. 26 January 2019: Ah, so you only see him weekends and all he wants to do is have sex...
While I GET that he works hard Mon-Fri and want to chill on weekends... I can see why you feel there isn't MUCH to this relationship besides sex.
So you have to consider... (read in full...)
How long do we try for kids before moving on?
Q. I don't want any judgements, this has not been an easy desicion. There is a chance my long term partner can't have kids. I have always wanted kids. I don't want to do IVF treatment. How long should we try before moving on?...
A. 26 January 2019: Have you both seen a doctor? That way you will know for sure what you are working with.
... (read in full...)
I want to give him one more chance and I also don’t!
Q. My boyfriend and i habe been together for 2.5years.. In our time together ive caught him talking to/ getting pics from at least 10 different women. Hes not a terrible boyfriend.. He can be a jerk and a child at times but i do still love him.....
A. 26 January 2019: I agree with FA.
You know he has done this in the past at LEAST 10 times. He will also promise you ANYTHING he think you want to hear and I think he knows that you will give him chance after chance after chance.. because THAT is what you have don... (read in full...)
Does his body language and other actions indicate he’s into me or just being friendly?
Q. There is a guy in my class this semester in college who decided to sit next to me. The first day of class he introduced himself and we exchanged a few words. I noticed that he was mirroring all the different ways that I sat. Sometimes I would have ...
A. 26 January 2019: First day of class he mirrored you. But he didn't know you from Eve, so I'd venture a guess that he wasn't INTO then. He might have been interested in getting to know you, and he has.
Looking over at you at random time when you sit next to each ... (read in full...)
I feel like he likes me but isn’t sure about taking the next step?
Q. So I’m in a bizarre situation at the moment. I’m 20 years old but I only just had my first kiss with this guy I really like. We met at a party and started messaging every day. I was going overseas so I invited him to a friends party - he didn’t ...
A. 26 January 2019: Nope, OP
You aren't listening. He might like you as a person but he doesn't want to date anyone right now, INCLUDING you.
Whether he is afraid of commitment or not, HE WASN'T looking for a GF and when things started with you he realized that he... (read in full...)
Why does he act this way?
Q. There is a guy who I see around my work sometimes and I am attracted to. I have tried hinting at him that I like him, such as telling him he makes me blush and tease him abit. He has given me high-fives, told me "we need more of you around" ...
A. 26 January 2019: My guess?
He has a GF and he didn't know until someone pointed it out to him that you FANCY him, so he is trying to not encourage it any more.
Don't go looking for boyfriends at your work place. THAT isn't why you are there. You are there to... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't want to go out on the weekends! He just wants to lounge around and have sex
Q. My boyfriend doesn't want to go out on weekends and just stay in and lounge around and have sex all weekend. He says he's tired as works all week but I'm getting bored not going out with him and I feel every time I bring up the subject it becomes a ...
A. 24 January 2019: While staying in and having sex can be fun for a weekend or two, I can definitely see why you would like to add MORE adventure, shared memories and activities to the relationship.
So, if he wants to stay in and you want to go out, time to call you... (read in full...)
Why is he so reluctant to move in together?
Q. My boyfriend of 18 months is reluctant to move in together. We have discussed it and he has said that he wants to, in the next year. But when I try to talk about it he gets grumpy and seems uninterested and irritated. For example, I had to go home ...
A. 22 January 2019: Because he doesn't want to LIVE together yet. He has told you that. And you KEEP hinting at it.
It gets old. It might feel like nagging. Like, you think the more you drop hints and mention it, the sooner it will happen.
And I would ALSO sugge... (read in full...)
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