Why does he act this way?
Q. There is a guy who I see around my work sometimes and I am attracted to. I have tried hinting at him that I like him, such as telling him he makes me blush and tease him abit. He has given me high-fives, told me "we need more of you around" ...
A. 29 January 2019: Eh... no need to beat yourself up over some dude.
Just learn from this and let it go.
... (read in full...)
Why is he so reluctant to move in together?
Q. My boyfriend of 18 months is reluctant to move in together. We have discussed it and he has said that he wants to, in the next year. But when I try to talk about it he gets grumpy and seems uninterested and irritated. For example, I had to go home ...
A. 28 January 2019: Make a budget and start saving up. For a house or retirement.
Even on a low paid job you can save some money up. It just means for a while you might have to give up on some luxuries and cut down on non-essentials.
You have a degree, but in w... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't want to go out on the weekends! He just wants to lounge around and have sex
Q. My boyfriend doesn't want to go out on weekends and just stay in and lounge around and have sex all weekend. He says he's tired as works all week but I'm getting bored not going out with him and I feel every time I bring up the subject it becomes a ...
A. 26 January 2019: Ah, so you only see him weekends and all he wants to do is have sex...
While I GET that he works hard Mon-Fri and want to chill on weekends... I can see why you feel there isn't MUCH to this relationship besides sex.
So you have to consider... (read in full...)
Why does he act this way?
Q. There is a guy who I see around my work sometimes and I am attracted to. I have tried hinting at him that I like him, such as telling him he makes me blush and tease him abit. He has given me high-fives, told me "we need more of you around" ...
A. 26 January 2019: My guess?
He has a GF and he didn't know until someone pointed it out to him that you FANCY him, so he is trying to not encourage it any more.
Don't go looking for boyfriends at your work place. THAT isn't why you are there. You are there to... (read in full...)
How do I get myself out of a deep depression?
Q. How do I get myself out of a deep depression . I feel useless . Due to my health I don’t work and I have a hard time getting out some Days when I’m out with my partner I notice people Only seem to address him and never me despite the fact I purpo...
A. 25 January 2019: Seek help from your doctor.
Maybe it's "just" your hormones that are utterly imbalanced, maybe it's more, but DO go see your doctor.
Secondly, I'd say try working out an hour a day. There are plenty of free workout videos on YouTube you can ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my parents who seem to prefer my brother!
Q. I feel my parents don't care about me only my brother who lives with them. They pay for everything for him all his bills yet I don't get any help at all and pay my own bills. I feel not part of the family no matter what I do paid for lots of things ...
A. 25 January 2019: You are in the age group of 41-50, so why should your elderly parents pay YOUR bills? You are a GROWN up!
They pay his bills because they know or think he can't be out on his own. They have in essence babied him (made him into an "eternal... (read in full...)
How can I show him without lecturing, messaging too much or irritating him that it would be great if we were exclusive?
Q. Sorry but this is long , Me and this guy met on a dating site 3 month ago. We both deleted our profiles but are not exclusive. I told him i want a future with him and he knows how i feel about him. His words were lets just go with the flow. im ...
A. 24 January 2019: Honestly?
Him ALSO hanging out with his friends ISN'T a bad thing, AT ALL. Now if he RATHER hang out with the lads than you... then yes, that is not really great in a relationship, certainly NOT at your age. I can see a guy in his teens and 20's... (read in full...)
I feel forced to have sex to maintain the relationship
Q. I'm a bit confused I'm in a relationship and I like the relationship the romance kissing and cuddles but I don't really like having sex I've never really liked it. I feel forced to do it as part of the relationship everyday several times a day and I ...
A. 24 January 2019: So IS this really the relationship for YOU?
My gut says no.
I'd rather be single than feel FORCED to have sex. Or be single for a while until I found someone who can RESPECT that I didn't want sex, only " romance, kissing and cuddles". It mig... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't want to go out on the weekends! He just wants to lounge around and have sex
Q. My boyfriend doesn't want to go out on weekends and just stay in and lounge around and have sex all weekend. He says he's tired as works all week but I'm getting bored not going out with him and I feel every time I bring up the subject it becomes a ...
A. 24 January 2019: While staying in and having sex can be fun for a weekend or two, I can definitely see why you would like to add MORE adventure, shared memories and activities to the relationship.
So, if he wants to stay in and you want to go out, time to call you... (read in full...)
My boyfriend won’t call after we have an argument!
Q. We Dear Cupid: I have been in a relationship for two years. I am 42 and he is 50. He does not like to text nor be on the phone and we do not have hardly any communication during the day and we see mostly during the weekend as he only comes to my ho...
A. 24 January 2019: If ANYONE I was dating EVER said that I was easily replaceable, I would wish them well and end it.
That is not something anyone should hold over a partner's head to get them to shut about topics they do not wish to discuss.
Now I GET if you CON... (read in full...)
Is he playing games with me online?
Q. I went on a couple dates several months ago with this guy. Our dates were really fun and physical but we never did anything sexual, just kissed. We made plans for our third date but when I checked in to confirm, he never replied, deleted me from the ...
A. 24 January 2019: I absolutely agree with N91.
My guess is he was seeing someone else for the month he blocked you. That didn't work out so he contacted you and you ignored him so.. he went back to HIS little list and 6 months later he is on the list, you on his. ... (read in full...)
He's coming on too strong, talks about sex a lot, has a child with an ex. Should I ignore these red flags?
Q. So about 6 months ago I met this attractive guy.. we met in a cute way as I got him lost accidentally by trying to help with directions, and he later gave me his number and name, which I hadn't asked for. I added him on Facebook and he messaged me, ...
A. 24 January 2019: What he is doing is called "love-bombing" - it's almost overwhelming with attention, compliments and honestly IMMATURE behavior.
It will fizzle out once you see MORE of his flaws and he sees yours.
Him being "massively into you" is not REAL... (read in full...)
I led him into an FWB situation but I'm starting to like this guy and want more
Q. My company decided to hire back a former employee for a small gig once a week. I had known the guy previously, but he was really more of an acquanintance. We would talk a bit at work and I soon realized I thought he was very cute. I am a big time ...
A. 24 January 2019: Honestly, if you could be so bold to seduce him like that... you can be bold enough to ask him if he would be interested in more than just a fling.
Yes, it's kind of backwards to have sex first, THEN think about dating and getting to know a person... (read in full...)
How can I show him without lecturing, messaging too much or irritating him that it would be great if we were exclusive?
Q. Sorry but this is long , Me and this guy met on a dating site 3 month ago. We both deleted our profiles but are not exclusive. I told him i want a future with him and he knows how i feel about him. His words were lets just go with the flow. im ...
A. 24 January 2019: If he is seeing other people still then I'm sorry to say I don't think there is much of a future here for you.
You don't date someone for 3 months while STILL wanting to "have fun" elsewhere too. Seriously. I'm guessing YOU are not seeing anyone e... (read in full...)
She forces me to be completely silent when she talks to her parents!
Q. I am 42 years old and my girlfriend (soon to be wife) is 32 years old. I love her, and she loves me too. Our respective family members know of our relationship, and that, we are going to get married soon. We’ve their blessings. Also, we are both ...
A. 24 January 2019: Oh so passive aggressive, OP... ... (read in full...)
She forces me to be completely silent when she talks to her parents!
Q. I am 42 years old and my girlfriend (soon to be wife) is 32 years old. I love her, and she loves me too. Our respective family members know of our relationship, and that, we are going to get married soon. We’ve their blessings. Also, we are both ...
A. 24 January 2019: Oh so passive aggressive, OP... ... (read in full...)
Am I asking too much to have a partner who prefers me or women my age over much younger women?
Q. I was in a marriage with a man who was pirn addicted for many years . I have now met another man who I thought was wonderful and believed was very attracted to me x I explained to him that my ex was more interested in women in their twenties despite ...
A. 24 January 2019: A man being sexually aroused by a younger than him female is VERY much biology. However, doesn't mean he has NO control.
What I do get from you is that you feel YOU have the right to dictate what he gets aroused by and what he can't. Because ... (read in full...)
She forces me to be completely silent when she talks to her parents!
Q. I am 42 years old and my girlfriend (soon to be wife) is 32 years old. I love her, and she loves me too. Our respective family members know of our relationship, and that, we are going to get married soon. We’ve their blessings. Also, we are both ...
A. 24 January 2019: Then why are you going to marry her if this is so unacceptable?
She WANTS her family to think WELL of her, and OF you. And she KNOWS that in HER family it's a no-no to live together before marriage. WOULD you rather you two hadn't moved in BEFOR... (read in full...)
Should I let her go unless she takes the initiative?
Q. I have been in a relationship for many years. We do not live together because we both agreed we would wait until each of our children are grown before we combine our households. There have been "ups and downs" over the years, but never anything ...
A. 22 January 2019: You are familiar with the saying:
“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.”
THAT is your relationship.
It keep going bust, she wants to end it and you "fix" it temporarily unt... (read in full...)
When one friend seems distant, what should the other friend do?
Q. Is it better to wait or break friendship? Two people who were close now are drifting apart. One is ignoring the other and the other is waiting. One tried talking to see if there are any issues but the other didnt gave clear answer. Other just said ...
A. 22 January 2019: Make other friends, leave this one be.
HER idea of friendship and YOUR idea of friendship doesn't seem to match up.
She is trying (in a rather rude way) to set boundaries with you (boundaries in friendships are fine) but you seem oblivious t... (read in full...)
Do I have to tell him to delete my number from his little black book?
Q. Hi , I met a guy online just one time . He didn’t mention to meet me again but some times he text me . I am not native English speaker. A guy always texted me out of the blue. I think he wanted to contacted me as backup plan. Whenever I...
A. 22 January 2019: I don't think he will care... Honestly, someone who can ignore you for ages and then presume you want to talk to him out of the blue.. doesn't seem like a person who really cares.. does it?... (read in full...)
Why is he so reluctant to move in together?
Q. My boyfriend of 18 months is reluctant to move in together. We have discussed it and he has said that he wants to, in the next year. But when I try to talk about it he gets grumpy and seems uninterested and irritated. For example, I had to go home ...
A. 22 January 2019: Because he doesn't want to LIVE together yet. He has told you that. And you KEEP hinting at it.
It gets old. It might feel like nagging. Like, you think the more you drop hints and mention it, the sooner it will happen.
And I would ALSO sugge... (read in full...)
He deleted his dating profile. Did he meet someone else?
Q. Ive been on 4 dates with a guy I met since Oct. I blew him off a few times because I was worried having sex too soon would ruin things but i do really like him. I was tired of all my past relationship mistakes by sleeping too soon and never getting ...
A. 22 January 2019: I think you should move on, you have messed this fella around enough.
IF you are not ready to date, then DO NOT go on dates with men from a DATING site.
HE can not read your mind, he has no idea that you really liked him, or wanted to get to... (read in full...)
How do I overcome my fear of commitment?
Q. I have been dating my bf for 6 years. He sleeps over at my apartment every night and has a bunch of stuff here, but we live apart. He has been trying to get me to move in for at least three years now, but it is a mental block for me. Almost everyone ...
A. 22 January 2019: You won't GUARANTEE that he will not screw you over by NOT living with him either.
Life doesn't come with a warranty or guarantees. Neither does relationships.
Who knows YOUR relationship might be one of the FEW in your family that survives th... (read in full...)
Is trust possible? How do I overcome these relationship obstacles?
Q. I have come here in the past because of my relationship which I have gotten great great advice - I realize that I have been in neglectful - narcissistic relationship which stem from my parents - both are emotionally unavailable and to be honest I ...
A. 22 January 2019: You are not your mom or your dad, YOU are not bound to repeat what they did, so you need to let THEIR baggage go.
Take responsibility for YOUR life, you actions, YOUR words and deeds.
Accept that your parents were dysfunctional bu... (read in full...)
I’m not sure how to interpret ‘hey chick’ in his text!
Q. If a male acquitance or a friend sent you a text starting 'hey chick' and you had not one like that before from them, is it something as a female you would find endearing, condescending or the sender being flirty with her. Had one recently and ...
A. 22 January 2019: Hey chick?
It's like "you there"! I'd answer it with, yo dude! Or what's up bro?!
See how he likes those terms.
I don't think I would read too much into it, however, I certainly wouldn't think he was flirting or being endearing. But I d... (read in full...)
He just revealed his new relationship! How do I get over feeling that I am not enough?
Q. I met someone about a year ago, it’s been mainly casual and on and off due to different things, (his and my insecurities, me seeing someone in the time we weren’t in touch) anyway we got back in touch and it was going so well, I even for the first ...
A. 22 January 2019: How do you move forward?
By not repeating the same mistake again.
When a woman AGREES to something "casual" a LOT of men tend to "classify her as a casual partner only. NOT someone to commit to, take home to the family, invest in (emotionally ... (read in full...)
Do I have to tell him to delete my number from his little black book?
Q. Hi , I met a guy online just one time . He didn’t mention to meet me again but some times he text me . I am not native English speaker. A guy always texted me out of the blue. I think he wanted to contacted me as backup plan. Whenever I...
A. 21 January 2019: No, you block his number or get a new number.
If you block his number and he STILL contacts you, then sure tell him to never call you again.
However, that doesn't mean he WON'T ever call you again. Which is why it's easier if you either BLOCK... (read in full...)
Is he completely dense? Should we just give up trying to tell him he’s making the biggest mistake of his life?
Q. Hi guys so firstly this us a follow on from a post at Christmas- thank you all for your excellent advice The situation was a mutual good friend had got himself involved with a girl we all knew was bad news- disrespected him, took money and gene...
A. 21 January 2019: Yep, he is totally going to do this.
It's his life and his BIG mistake to make.
As to where he CHOOSES to get married, that is on him and his future wife, not his friends or their wallets. If you can't afford it or don't support his choi... (read in full...)
Should I be over his cheating?
Q. I’ve been with my guy for over 6 yrs now. We got into a discussion yesterday about his twin boys momma. Saying you know we will have to be around her more. And I said “as long as nothing else happens again” due to him going behind my back a couple ...
A. 21 January 2019: Since you have CHOSEN to stay with him AFTER you found out that he cheated on you a COUPLE of times, you need to FORGIVE it and LET it go. You can't drag it out as ammo when it suits YOU. Otherwise you shouldn't have stayed.
You made the CHOICE t... (read in full...)
I’m going to see my ex, is this a good idea?
Q. My ex and I broke up a year ago due to him moving, and me being in uni still for the next year. Fast forward a year later, and we reconnected and are still in love with each other. I got a great job here in my city after I graduate in a few months ...
A. 21 January 2019: I think it really won't work out. And here is why.
You ended it the FIRST time, due to distance issues. and nothing has changed. You will STILL be living with that distance. He is HAPPY with where he lives and YOU have good career opportun... (read in full...)
I lied to my boyfriend about the time frame last time I had sex before him. He STILL doesn't know the actual truth. What should I do?
Q. Hey all! I have been with my boyfriend for about 3 months now. We are both 26 years old and in very transitional phases of our lives. We also recently (within the last year) ended long term (3-6year) relationships. Both relationships we...
A. 21 January 2019: Amen to YouWish's advice..
SHUT THE HELL up about previous sex-partners and sexual escapades!~
It is BEFORE his time and none of his fucking business. All you do is make him doubt you and feel insecure.
If you don't want to date a guy then ... (read in full...)
Should a man break up with a woman over not getting enough sex?
Q. Been in a relationship for two years, am 63, she is 58, I work one job she has one full time job an a part time job. I pretty much live with her, own my own house to.what's up is maybe sex once every two months, she always got an excuse.she just ...
A. 21 January 2019: Yes, break up and let her go.
You want sex, she doesn't. Sounds like she either isn't FULFILLED sexually, bored with sex or JUST doesn't have much of a libido. After working a full time and a part-time job... maybe she is just exhauste... (read in full...)
Ended relationship, but already having doubts
Q. Last week I ended my relationship with my girlfriend of 6 years. I hadn’t felt the same about her for some time, and for the last few months didn’t try to conceal the fact. I felt that I was clinging more to the situation we found ourselves in rat...
A. 21 January 2019: OP, How come after 6 years of dating you two weren't "further along"? Weren't living together? Talking marriage? SHARING your lives?
I guess you CAN say that your upbringing has some effect on you, but you are NOT your father, nor living their li... (read in full...)
Should I ask my married lover for baby?
Q. So I have been seeing a man who lives with his common law wife and thier 2 kids.When we met he told me that he was in process of leaving her but now almost 2 years later he still lives at home and he won t see me outside his work hours. Anyways, ...
A. 20 January 2019: How would YOU feel if you husband was not only cheating on you, but being sexually irresponsible and possibly FATHERING kids with other women?
Just for one minute, STOP being so selfish, and PUT yourself in HER shoes.
That wouldn't bother ... (read in full...)
My husband of 12 years is so secretive and refuses to talk to me just gives me the silent treatment
Q. I am in my late 50's and have been married for second time for 12 years. I have grown up children from my first marriage. My husband is 60 and from the beginning he has been so secretive. He never shows any interest in my life and health and never ...
A. 19 January 2019: First TALK to your bank about the loans. MAKE sure he CAN NOT take any out without you BEING there to sing the loans.
Open a SEPARATE bank account in YOUR name only and deposit your pay there, whatever you have BUDGETED for bills gets transfer... (read in full...)
My partner is unhappy with his job and I don't know how to help him
Q. My partner has been feeling unhappy with his position at work. He feels it is beneath his skill set. He’s been looking for something different but hasn’t found anything in town that turns his crank yet. His boss can see he works hard and will ...
A. 19 January 2019: Maybe suggest he find a "head-hunter" type company that will DO most of the legwork FOR him. It might require a fee but usually the majority of these companies make their money on the "finders-fee" that the companies (who employ the people) pays.
... (read in full...)
Do people like this ever change or am I best out of it?
Q. Hiya I’m in a relationship for 5 years we have a 2 year old son and we live together I just need some advice on this we used to go to school together and met up years later through social media we moved in together and had our son but the past year ...
A. 19 January 2019: Honestly? I think he is just waiting on you to leave so he can go back to being single.
He is ACTING like a single guy. Chatting up exes, not lifting a finger at home, not spending time with you, etc.
YOU can't WAIT for him to change, OP. WHY ... (read in full...)
The other woman or mind games?
Q. I have been in a relationship with a woman for five years now. We have hit some rocky patches in our road together but always stayed together. There has been issues involving another woman, an ex of hers that she doesn't seem to want to let go of. ...
A. 19 January 2019: Well, YOU keep taking her back after she does that so she assumes that hiding it will mean she doesn't HAVE to give it up, or the attitude is that it's better to ask forgiveness (after she gets caught) than ask permission.
I normally would sa... (read in full...)
She’s become obsessed with getting a visa and I feel neglected!
Q. Hi everyone I lived with my girlfriend for 2 years and everything was great, then she had to leave the country and we've been long distance for 1 year. She has decided we should get married so i can get her sponsored to come here. The problem is, ...
A. 19 January 2019: Tell her straight up that you CAN NOT afford to sponsor her and marriage is not going to make a difference as you can still NOT afford to support her (which you would have to PROVE you can do).
Whether it's because she WANTS to no longer BE LDR o... (read in full...)
My partner's behaviour towards me has been very questionable ever since he lost his job. What's going on here?
Q. This is a little uncomfortable to write, I'm not sure if I'm the problem or not. I've been in a relationship for 2 years and up until about 8 months ago it was really care free, relaxed, and just a joy really. Now, however, it's... I don't ...
A. 19 January 2019: Some of your post doesn't make sense to me. If you could elaborate?
"There was also a time when they suggested dates for me to visit them at their place and I accepted those dates, my partner gave a very disapointed...."
WHO are "they"?
... (read in full...)
Why do people at work bully other people?
Q. Why do people at work bully other people? I have a close relation with someone at work. I am at a managerial position and she is at Junior level. This girl is good at her job but still her manager has an issue with my friendship with her. She ...
A. 18 January 2019: I agree with Code Warrior,
You are NOT at work to socialize, you are employed and PAID to work.
Making friends is great, but hang out AFTER work. HER manager has every right to decide when this junior employee gets her breaks, and give her a t... (read in full...)
My husband lack of empathy really confused me.
Q. My husband lack of empathy really confused me. What do you think about this incident? Let's just say that I'm not all that surprised. Over the years, and we've been together for almost 20 years now, I was ill a couple of times and I must say tha...
A. 18 January 2019: Electric blanket with a timer!!
If you are looking for an alternative to using the hot water bottle (and by the by, you should NEVER use scalding or boiling water in a water bottle, ever).... (read in full...)
I broke up with my boyfriend of 8 years because he wouldn't commit but now I'm feeling very down
Q. I’m feeling really lonely and fed up since splitting from my boyfriend 6 weeks ago. We were together for 8 years. Basically I split from him because I know he will never commit to me and I got tired of waiting. In the end I felt like i’d fallen ...
A. 18 January 2019: I agree, you are not going to instantaneously feel OK with the break up, you two were together for a long time.
It will take time.
However, it will take a LOT longer if you keep checking up on him and checking to see if he has called or texted... (read in full...)
My husband lack of empathy really confused me.
Q. My husband lack of empathy really confused me. What do you think about this incident? Let's just say that I'm not all that surprised. Over the years, and we've been together for almost 20 years now, I was ill a couple of times and I must say tha...
A. 18 January 2019: Everyone reacts differently to different situations.
HE can't handle it when YOU get hurt because it makes HIM feel powerless. THAT would be my guess.
My second guess is that he is SO USED to you taking care of things when someone gets hur... (read in full...)
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