My husband lack of empathy really confused me.
Q. My husband lack of empathy really confused me. What do you think about this incident? Let's just say that I'm not all that surprised. Over the years, and we've been together for almost 20 years now, I was ill a couple of times and I must say tha...
A. 18 January 2019: Electric blanket with a timer!!
If you are looking for an alternative to using the hot water bottle (and by the by, you should NEVER use scalding or boiling water in a water bottle, ever).... (read in full...)
I broke up with my boyfriend of 8 years because he wouldn't commit but now I'm feeling very down
Q. I’m feeling really lonely and fed up since splitting from my boyfriend 6 weeks ago. We were together for 8 years. Basically I split from him because I know he will never commit to me and I got tired of waiting. In the end I felt like i’d fallen ...
A. 18 January 2019: I agree, you are not going to instantaneously feel OK with the break up, you two were together for a long time.
It will take time.
However, it will take a LOT longer if you keep checking up on him and checking to see if he has called or texted... (read in full...)
How do I deal with a friend who is demanding, irritating, needy, narcissistic and whiny?
Q. Hi Aunts and Uncles! I often wonder what do people mean when they say that someone is a "good person" or a "bad one". That's why I hesitate to label anyone with just good/bad. My question today is: How to deal with a friend who's needy and na...
A. 18 January 2019: If it's too hard to tell her to her face, just start being SUPER unavailable. She she calls and wants to "vent", tell her sorry, you have to go and hang up.
Keep that up and she might get the hint.
... (read in full...)
Should I contact my boyfriend again or just give him space?
Q. My boyfriend of 2 months has suddenly gone odd. We had pet names for each other on social media. He not really spoken to me much in the last few days. Today he cleared the nicknames we had for each other and he wont reply to any message i sent him ...
A. 18 January 2019: So now YOU have to consider is a partner with these serious health issues something you want long term?
And is he even capable of having a healthy long term relationship?
... (read in full...)
If a girl is interested in a guy, he jumps at the chance to go out with her, why won't this guy?
Q. There's a boy in my class who's really cute, smart, nice, everything I like in a guy but he ignores me. I try talking to him and he either doesn't talk to me or tells me to leave him alone. I've passed him notes in class and left notes in his locker ...
A. 18 January 2019: Good grief, girl!
NO you don't call him or stop by his house!
HE has turned you down. ACCEPT it and LEAVE him alone!
He isn't INTERESTED in you. He has rebuffed you several times but you do not take NO for an answer, that is not right. NO, m... (read in full...)
My husband lack of empathy really confused me.
Q. My husband lack of empathy really confused me. What do you think about this incident? Let's just say that I'm not all that surprised. Over the years, and we've been together for almost 20 years now, I was ill a couple of times and I must say tha...
A. 18 January 2019: Everyone reacts differently to different situations.
HE can't handle it when YOU get hurt because it makes HIM feel powerless. THAT would be my guess.
My second guess is that he is SO USED to you taking care of things when someone gets hur... (read in full...)
He keep my number in last ten years ( could he be a player)
Q. It’s almost ten years ago I talked with a guy online . He was almost 17 years older then me. I was 34 and he was around 51. We chat online and we met . We liked each other. Next day , I texted him many times but he didn’t respond. Then he respon...
A. 18 January 2019: OP, does it really matter WHY he is now reaching out?
YOU can decide if you want ANYTHING to do with him or not. UP to you.
OR you can WASTE time pondering WHY he is now contacting you. Why give he free range to roam in your head-space?
I... (read in full...)
How do you handle being a single mom even though married because your husband is working away from home?
Q. My husband and I have been married for almost four years, and he has worked out of town (his cousin owns a construction company) off and on throughout that time; whenever he did, he was gone during the week and home every weekend. It sucked, but it ...
A. 17 January 2019: I know the feeling, OP
My husband served in the Army for the first 15 years of our marriage (retired 6 years ago). So he was GONE a lot. Communications could be dodgy, work hours vary etc. etc.
So, yes, it did feel like I was a single mom of 3 ... (read in full...)
My boss is not letting me move on from our affair
Q. I posted about a month/two back about having had an affair with boss and having ended it. He wanted to stay super secret best friends. But I’ve done a great job of only being professional with him and not interacting unless absolutely neces...
A. 17 January 2019: I'd work WAY hard on looking of a new job. I'd even consider using an agency to find one. Yes, it might cost a bit of money but you have a good chance of finding a new job faster.
Also, HAVE a clear goal in mind. Like, MAKE your marriage and find... (read in full...)
Should I contact my boyfriend again or just give him space?
Q. My boyfriend of 2 months has suddenly gone odd. We had pet names for each other on social media. He not really spoken to me much in the last few days. Today he cleared the nicknames we had for each other and he wont reply to any message i sent him ...
A. 17 January 2019: You have to decide if this is going to work for you or not. Him giving you the "silent treatment" because he has had some bad days is not really conducive for a healthy relationship and this is ONLY 2 months in!
I think you need to set yourself... (read in full...)
I hate being criticized and corrected and I don't like anyone see me other than at my best. How do I change this?
Q. Most of my self-worth depends on me not looking stupid in front of people, and it is affecting my life. When I was younger, everyone told me I was smart. I was always reading and didn't have to try very hard to learn. I barely studied and still ...
A. 17 January 2019: OP, Newsflash!!!
EVERYONE hates being criticized and corrected! But for MOST people THIS is how we learn! No one (not even you) are born knowing everything.
You were told when you were little that you were OH SO SMART and SPECIAL and for ... (read in full...)
Can we get married in a church if neither of us are religious?
Q. My fiancee and I would like to get married in a church, however neither of us are religious. Does anyone have any thoughts or advice on this? Neither of our families are religious either. We have come across many churches locally and while ...
A. 17 January 2019: I'm sorry I think you are being thoughtless, disrespectful, oblivious, callous and inconsiderate here.
I'm NOT religious, but I DO have a fair bit of respect for those who are. I have friends who believe and worship, GOOD people.
What you WANT... (read in full...)
I see his ex as a threat. Am I being silly or do I have reason to worry?
Q. I am probably being silly but my partner was married a few years ago and been divorced over ten years. He has told me that how he feels about me is far deeper than his ex wife, he said he was very unhappy with her and he looks back and knows it was ...
A. 17 January 2019: I think he has done ALMOST everything right here and you are nitpicking (for whatever reason).
The only thing he didn't do right, is talk smack about his ex. That is just not needed. Even if he dislike her today, or they had a rotten marriage... (read in full...)
Older man wont leave his girlfriend for me.
Q. I started an emotional and physical affair with a man I work with around this time last year. He started seeing someone about 3/4 months before me and him started talking. He's 15 years older than me,I'm 32 he's 47. We connected on a level I never ...
A. 17 January 2019: Let's hope so.
I wish you all the best for the New Year and your future.
Aim higher :)
... (read in full...)
I think my step daughter is selling nude photos of herself. How do I bring this up to her father?
Q. My husbands adult daughter can't seem to hold down a job she also has anxiety issues. I have been told she is selling nude pictures of herself online and I don't know what to do? I think she will deny it if I ask her and tell her father I am making ...
A. 16 January 2019: If my ADULT daughter was selling nudes of herself then yes, I would want to talk to her about it and WHY she would do that.
But as much as I would DISCOURAGE that kind of way to make money, there really wouldn't be ANYTHING I could do about it... (read in full...)
He keep my number in last ten years ( could he be a player)
Q. It’s almost ten years ago I talked with a guy online . He was almost 17 years older then me. I was 34 and he was around 51. We chat online and we met . We liked each other. Next day , I texted him many times but he didn’t respond. Then he respon...
A. 16 January 2019: Some people keep a "little black book" with numbers and names of people they have pursued, met, talked to, gotten to know, etc.
And WHEN they do not have ANY other prospects for entertainment, getting attention, affection, sex or what have you... (read in full...)
Should I resign from my job because I’m being bullied?
Q. I’ve worked for a company for five years and enjoy my job. however a female co worker who is at the same company as me, doesn’t like me and is doing everything she can to make feel miserable. she has also back stabbed me a few times and has even ...
A. 16 January 2019: I would tell the manager. I get that you worry about being laughed at but I don't think you will and even if you do, I think it's a risk I'd be willing to take. My guess is, YOU are not the only coworker she has treated like this.
As to trying t... (read in full...)
How do I deal with a friend who is demanding, irritating, needy, narcissistic and whiny?
Q. Hi Aunts and Uncles! I often wonder what do people mean when they say that someone is a "good person" or a "bad one". That's why I hesitate to label anyone with just good/bad. My question today is: How to deal with a friend who's needy and na...
A. 16 January 2019: She sounds lonely and draining and like she takes you 100% for granted.
What kind of adult EATS a kid's chocolate? lol I just found that really perplexing behavior.
Personally, I would just start to become REALLY unavailable OR if you find it e... (read in full...)
What would my deceased boyfriend's family think of me moving on with his cousin?
Q. My sons father passed away almost two years ago and I’ve been single since then haven’t even Pursue anyone since. Recently his cousin that I’ve never met started coming around a lot lately and once we started communicating we started to like each ...
A. 15 January 2019: Why would it be their business who YOU choose to date now?
If he is a GOOD man, potentially a good long term partner and "co-parent" then who should dictate if it's OK or not to date him?
While I get you questioning him (because he is f... (read in full...)
How can we get married when my LDR man doesn't get a job?
Q. I have met a wonderful guy, it's been 15 months in our relationship, I have introduced him to my family, they accepted him, I haven't met his family yet because we live in different countries, we met through a friend, he is a good man, problem is, ...
A. 15 January 2019: Where is he from? And where would you live if you got married?
And while you really love him, what kind of future do you see with him? (as things stand)
Because if he moves to the US, YOU are financially responsible for him. That is part of ... (read in full...)
I think my step daughter is selling nude photos of herself. How do I bring this up to her father?
Q. My husbands adult daughter can't seem to hold down a job she also has anxiety issues. I have been told she is selling nude pictures of herself online and I don't know what to do? I think she will deny it if I ask her and tell her father I am making ...
A. 15 January 2019: She is an adult. It's her body, her choice to sell pictures.
I have to ask WHO has told you she is doing this?
And what do you hope to accomplish by telling your husband about the pictures?
... (read in full...)
I'm separated and my friend of years is making subtle moves on me. What do I do?
Q. im falling out of love with my husband do to his emotional and verbal abuse.Been married for 15 years but together for 25 there is no intimacy for the last year or so.Occassional hug here or there .However he is great with our daughter relationship ...
A. 15 January 2019: I'd say WAIT until the divorce is final and YOU have given yourself some time to not only deal with the divorce but the last 25 years.
WHAT is the hurry to jump into something new?
Sure, you have KNOWN the "new guy" for a long time but you hav... (read in full...)
Why do I always want the people I shouldn't?
Q. I've realized lately that the only time I've ever felt really crazy about someone, it was because I was not allowed to have them. To give an example, it started with an ex-boyfriend. After we broke up we still saw each other a few times a year, even ...
A. 14 January 2019: Some times you have to make choices. THAT is life. At least as a grown up.
And while you might be tempted by an "alpha type" doesn't mean you HAVE to act on it. Just like when you see some REALLLLLLLY nice shoes you can't afford, you aren't g... (read in full...)
Girlfriend caught me texting another girl and broke up with me. I want her back
Q. I recently got caught messaging another girl my by gf of one year. Me and my gf had planned to get married and have a future together so I don't know why I did what I did. After getting caught I explained everything that happened and she broke it ...
A. 14 January 2019: Is there anything you can do to get her back?
Probably not.
YOU need to RESPECT and ACCEPT that she doesn't want a BF who did what YOU did. WE all have limits to what we find acceptable in a relationship, we all have boundaries. YOU ... (read in full...)
I feel like the definition of a failure, any words of wisdom?
Q. Hi all. I am 15 years old and have recently been challenged with some difficult feelings. I'll sum up the story: A decent while ago (about 4 months ago), after two years of having feelings for my close friend, who I've known for a long time, I fin...
A. 14 January 2019: OP you had a crush. Your crush DIDN'T feel the same, IT HAPPENS.
NOT everyone YOU like will like you back to the same degree. She likes you as a friend, you like her as more. It happens. It's not about failure.
You did a brave thing and told h... (read in full...)
Is she The One?
Q. Okies, I really need your help with this one. I want to make this the year I sort this out. So, I have known my female friend for 10+ years and I liked her from early on. We have lived together even shared the same bed (platonically) a...
A. 14 January 2019: She might be "The One" but NOT for you.
It's been 10 years and nothing of note has happened in the romantic department.
SHE is a selfish woman who doesn't want to let you move on because he WANTS to have you for a back up when she is single or... (read in full...)
We aren’t in a relationship yet, but I’m concerned about his sister-in-law!
Q. We are not yet really in relationship yet, we are getting close there. His brother family is living with him. Recently he told me that he feels like his brother’s wife likes him, she kept trying to be close to him. Few time she tried to hug him from ...
A. 14 January 2019: You aren't in a relationship so you DON'T have to forgive ANYTHING he has done. What you can do is decide if HIS actions are something you would want in a partner or not.
And stop making him out to be some poor sad VICTIM who has no say in what ... (read in full...)
How to impress a woman on a Speed Dating event
Q. This question is mainly for men but the ladies can chime in as well. If you meet a woman for the first time and have only 5 minutes to talk what will you ask or say to her that would leave an impression on her? I am asking this because I go ...
A. 13 January 2019: What is important to you in a partner? Because that can lead to questions where you are REALLY honestly looking for a person who you can see yourself having things in common with.
Things like,
Smoker/non-smoker? (for some being a smoker is a de... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's 12 year old doesn't like me and boyfriend will not step in and do anything
Q. Hi I’m in a bit of a dilemma and seriously need some advice. I’ve been with my bf now for 7 months. We both love each other And have spoken frequently about marriage and living together. However here is my problem. I have met and get on ver...
A. 13 January 2019: I wouldn't date a guy who thinks this is the way forward, both as a parent and partner.
Someone who will IGNORE me for days in order to not upset his son, is probable not the partner for me.
And no matter how LONG you have KNOWN the guy...... (read in full...)
My abusive ex occupies too much space in my head and I can't move on
Q. Hello. I ended an emotionally abusive relationship in October. He still occupies so much space in my head. I hate it. I don't know why I miss this immature person. He would mock me during arguments and smoke a lot of pot to numb himself. I know I ...
A. 13 January 2019: It's barely been 2 months since it ended. It will take time.
What will probably take the longest.. is YOU forgiving YOU. For having dated him, for how HE made you feel and HOW you reacted.
You are still too busy beating yourself up for ... (read in full...)
I'm tired of being the bigger person every time we argue
Q. Dear cupid, I've been wirth my boyfriend for about 2 yrs now, we live together and are very committed to each other and growing our life together. 2 nights ago we were watching a movie and there were preganant women and kids it. I'm in my early 30s ...
A. 13 January 2019: I have to agree, I don't see you as a person who is "being the bigger person" you basically kicking him verbally in the balls when he didn't give you an answer you liked. How is THAT being a bigger person?
As for kids? I'm with YouWish. If he af... (read in full...)
Why do I always want the people I shouldn't?
Q. I've realized lately that the only time I've ever felt really crazy about someone, it was because I was not allowed to have them. To give an example, it started with an ex-boyfriend. After we broke up we still saw each other a few times a year, even ...
A. 13 January 2019: Because you are still pretty selfish and immature when it comes to relationships.
I don't write that to be mean, but to state the facts as you tell them.
You don't REALLY take responsibility for your choices, you BF did. He might not do tha... (read in full...)
Older man wont leave his girlfriend for me.
Q. I started an emotional and physical affair with a man I work with around this time last year. He started seeing someone about 3/4 months before me and him started talking. He's 15 years older than me,I'm 32 he's 47. We connected on a level I never ...
A. 12 January 2019: I hope you will KEEP putting yourself first. Even look for a new job so you can put him and the affair, the drama and waste of time in your past.
WANT more for yourself than be USED.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's 12 year old doesn't like me and boyfriend will not step in and do anything
Q. Hi I’m in a bit of a dilemma and seriously need some advice. I’ve been with my bf now for 7 months. We both love each other And have spoken frequently about marriage and living together. However here is my problem. I have met and get on ver...
A. 11 January 2019: Sorry, OP
You don't rank higher than his son(children), quite the opposite. As it SHOULD be.
As for the son, HE doesn't HAVE to like you or WANT to be around you. However, the father CATERING to this boys demands.. is not boding well for ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend says he doesn't have time to be with me when I am sad or upset
Q. My boyfriend of 10 months has been staying away from me for a few weeks now after we had this fight. It was over the matter regarding my promotion and i was talking to him about it and got carried away talking about the promotion related other stuff ...
A. 10 January 2019: I hope his reaction and answer will make you understand just how little he cares.
If I were you I'd stop talking to him UNLESS it's at work, about work. Other than that? IGNORE him. If you didn't discuss work over the phone I'd also block his numb... (read in full...)
My FWB hookup told me he had decided to date me until he found out I had sex with someone else
Q. Since December 21 I've been intimate with someone. He knew I liked someone else but me being conflicted didn't know if I'd act on it or not. After our second sexual encounter I asked him if he wanted to date me he declined saying he just wanted to ...
A. 10 January 2019: EDIT..
Should have been N91 LOL Sorry!... (read in full...)
My FWB hookup told me he had decided to date me until he found out I had sex with someone else
Q. Since December 21 I've been intimate with someone. He knew I liked someone else but me being conflicted didn't know if I'd act on it or not. After our second sexual encounter I asked him if he wanted to date me he declined saying he just wanted to ...
A. 10 January 2019: I agree with B91
I think he is full of shit. And I think YOU are TOO old for this kind of screwing around in hopes of it leading to a relationship.
Should you feel guilt that you had sex with someone besides your FWB? No. You weren't dating, ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend won’t stop lying to me
Q. Hi I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 7 months. He just turned 19 and he goes to college 5 hours away. This isn’t a problem we started dating Way before he started college and he didn’t plan on picking a school that far away but we make it ...
A. 9 January 2019: 1. you SAY it's not about the gifts, but you post contradict it. You don't bring any other examples of his lying except when it comes to presents. So yes, the presents DO matter to you. Don't lie to yourself. And it's OK to look forward to receiving ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend tries to have anal sex without my permission. Does he not respect me?
Q. I am 64 female,boyfriend is 60,seeing each other for 6 weeks now and have had amazing sex,he is much more sexually experienced and into porn very much. He tried to enter me analy without asking me and I jumped back because it really hurt,told him ...
A. 9 January 2019: Does he not respect you?
Well, that is a little on the iffy side as he might "think" he does EXCEPT when it comes to sex. In his mindset it might be that YOU are there willingly so you must be OK with whatever he does.
What I really don't lik... (read in full...)
Will I ever get the chance to massage her all over?
Q. Hi, on the question of massages, I have a friend who will let me massage her back, neck, etc and feet, but not butt. She has also allowed me to see her topless, but she doesn’t fancy me and we also cuddle in bed a bit when she sleeps over. She ...
A. 8 January 2019: N91 pretty much pegged it.
Don't be a freaking creep. If she sets boundaries you LISTEN, RESPECT and STICK to those.
If you want to do "other things", then find someone who is a willing participant.... (read in full...)
How can I deal with my coworker's crazy girlfriend?
Q. First off, I know I probably can't do much if anything about this, but I thought I would ask for advice anyway. Background: Recently I organized a secret gift swap for the holidays at my new job. I got my assistant manager, who is around the sa...
A. 8 January 2019: Block her FROM your social media. Seriously, she IS creepy and possessive.
You didn't do anything wrong other than get a good gift for the swap.
I would have NOTHING to do with her WHATSOEVER, to chatting if you meet her (I'd just excuse myse... (read in full...)
Boyfriend says he doesn't have time to be with me when I am sad or upset
Q. My boyfriend of 10 months has been staying away from me for a few weeks now after we had this fight. It was over the matter regarding my promotion and i was talking to him about it and got carried away talking about the promotion related other stuff ...
A. 8 January 2019: Just cut him loose OP
He isn't the FUTURE for you. Can you imagine marrying this guy and then not being ALLOWED to talk about certain subjects?
He is manipulative and cold. Unless you do as HE wants you to... he will withhold "love" or affect... (read in full...)
Older man wont leave his girlfriend for me.
Q. I started an emotional and physical affair with a man I work with around this time last year. He started seeing someone about 3/4 months before me and him started talking. He's 15 years older than me,I'm 32 he's 47. We connected on a level I never ...
A. 6 January 2019: So much drama, OP
What;'s the point? If all these TEARS really meant that he cared DEEPLY for you, why on Earth would he then keep you as a "mistress" or side-dish?
Yes, I can see him being hurt that you FINALLY have decided that you DESERVE... (read in full...)
Older man wont leave his girlfriend for me.
Q. I started an emotional and physical affair with a man I work with around this time last year. He started seeing someone about 3/4 months before me and him started talking. He's 15 years older than me,I'm 32 he's 47. We connected on a level I never ...
A. 29 December 2018: Just keep moving forward. He made his choice long ago and it wasn't you.
Now you MAKE the choice to leave him behind and find someone SINGLE who ONLY wants to date you. Not juggle two women.
And then STICK to it, do not let him sweet talk you i... (read in full...)
Older man wont leave his girlfriend for me.
Q. I started an emotional and physical affair with a man I work with around this time last year. He started seeing someone about 3/4 months before me and him started talking. He's 15 years older than me,I'm 32 he's 47. We connected on a level I never ...
A. 28 December 2018: Is it you?
Not necessarily, but you DO allow him to STRING you along while dating someone else, she might not. You didn't back off when he started seeing you and was STILL seeing someone else. You accepted the "mistress" position. Which is why y... (read in full...)
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