After 11 years he left me for another woman but I don't think he knows what he wants!
Q. my boyfriend left me just before christmas after 11 years he moved straight in with her after only knowing her for 3 weeks and this is true as she told my ex sister in law that they been together for that period so i know its true. she has a 8 year ...
A. 23 July 2009: Don't worry about what HE wants... He is history. (so to speak) He keeps texting you because he likes to have you as back up, just in case his relationship with her doesn't work.
Don't accept that you are the "second" prize. Ignore or block hi... (read in full...)
He picked her! I'm shocked and upset and disappointed.
Q. Hi I originally posted this question: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/we-have-been-getting-on-so-well-but.html Please read that first because this is a follow on from that. Basically he picked her. I am shocked and upset and dissapoi...
A. 23 July 2009: He is trying to do the "honorable" thing and give the ex a try. At least that I what I think he is believing.
I would honestly NOT hang around and be the friend while he/they figure out if they are for each other or not. It is not going to help ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's blue balls.....he says if I don't give him head he will leave me!
Q. My boyfriend says every time we hang out he gets blue balls and is in pain for hours, even days. It causes him headaches and muscle cramps too. I do plenty of sexual things for him almost every time we hang out. He's tried masturbating beforehand, ...
A. 21 July 2009: He is seriously taking advantage of you. What is next? If there is something you DON'T want to do in a relationship you need to be open and honest about it, if it results in your BF threatening to leave if you don't do A,B or C then let him go, he ... (read in full...)
Should I accept it's over and never contact him again?
Q. Hi everyone I have just split up with my boyfriend of 18 months and I feel really confused, hurt and upset. He broke up with me because he felt too pressured to commit and knows he can't give me what I want. He doesn't think it will ever work a...
A. 21 July 2009: What you need to accept is that you aren't at the same stage in life. You want different things them him. Accept that and it will be easier to move on.
If you keep in contact you will only drag it out. He isn't ready (or willing) to give you what... (read in full...)
Sister-in-law is showing she's very insecure by flirting.
Q. My sister-in-law has asked me out for what I thought was gratitude for taking care of her child some time ago. We have gone out twice. The last time instead she floored me claiming relationship problems she's having with my brother. That he's in ...
A. 21 July 2009: Honestly, I would tell her that you need to stay out of their marriage problems, if they need help they might try a counselor.
Your SIL might be flirting with you to get back at your brother, do you really want to get caught in the middle h... (read in full...)
Should I tell my ex's new girlfriend that he cheated on me?
Q. My boyfriend dumped me by email over the Easter bank holiday, after an on/off relationship that spanned 26 years, telling me he had moved to Italy with his friend, which I knew was a lie because he had been phoning supposedly from Italian hotels ...
A. 21 July 2009: I agree with Uncle Phil. Though someone like him is not very smart and will get caught real fast. If you feel a strong sense of "needing to tell her" for more reasons then revenge then go ahead. Proof or not she might not believe you. Some women ... (read in full...)
We have been getting on so well but now his ex is back in the picture!
Q. Hi. About 3 or 4 weeks ago I started seeing a guy, who we shall call michael. It was very much him pursuing me and took me out on 3 dates, with a 4th planned for this week. We aren't going out yet but it was certainly going that way. He is a really ...
A. 21 July 2009: Like Emily said, there isn't a lot you can do. I would try and respect that he is taking his time here. I also hope for your sake that he is man enough to let you know asap who he "picks".
If you really like this guy give him a chance. He seems wo... (read in full...)
My partner wont divorce his wife!
Q. I have been in a relationship for over 2 years now I am 52 and he is 62, i was married when i was 19 and left my husband 5 years ago, this is my first proper relationship since then, I was wary at the beginning about going into a relationship, but ...
A. 21 July 2009: That is just odd. Unless he stands to loose his business or a huge sum of money at a divorce ( or he is Catholic). It makes no sense.
Do they have children?
If him not being divorced is something you can not accept ( and honestly I under... (read in full...)
How to get him to initiate sex more often?
Q. Hi, My bf and I have been living together for 10 months and were going out for 5 months before that. Since Jan he has had limited interest in sex and this only occurs when I initiate. He has given various reasons for this, more recently saying ...
A. 20 July 2009: Well in some relationship only one person initiate sex. In others it is 50-50. It really varies.
I say if you want sex, if you are Hot for him then put your moves on him.. Sooner or later he WILL realize that you are still around and maybe, j... (read in full...)
Help me decipher my exhusband's motives!
Q. Why does my ex husband text me then ignore me the next. He has a girlfriend and says he loves her, but meets me to talk. He told me the other day the have issues they might not be able to work out. He also told me not to text and he has my number if ...
A. 20 July 2009: I think he likes for you to hang on to the hope that you two might get together. He also likes to control you, even if you two are no longer married.. That speaks volumes..
Why would you want this guy back?
... (read in full...)
I want to end this relationship with a married man, but don't know how!
Q. I'm been seeing this married man about a year now. I just don't understand how he can sleep with me and then turn around and sleep with her. i think the best thing is to stop this relationship but not sure how. Does anyone have any advice? ...
A. 20 July 2009: How hard can it be? Call him and tell him it's over. Tell him you want 1 thing from him NO CONTACT! Then keep that. Don't call him, text or email. Block his number and move on.
Yes I'm sure 99% of married men who cheats have sex with their wi... (read in full...)
I read his emails and I think he will cheat! Why do men cheat?
Q. hi my boyfriend cheated on me during the first year we were together, i stayed around and convinced myself that we all make mistakes, but, i also found out his password to his email account, and since then i have occasionally had a look about and ...
A. 20 July 2009: Honey, it has NOTHING to you with you and EVERYTHING to do with his ego. A LOT of men (and women) who cheats are desperate for attention and if they feel like their partner isn't giving them enough they JUSTIFY that with looking for attention ... (read in full...)
Should I have sex with my best friend?
Q. I am 13 and my best friend (he's a boy) tells me everything... the other day he said to me he thinks he is ready for sex... i said i think i am too... later on he asked me if i wanted to have sex with him and he wants it to be with some he trusts ...
A. 20 July 2009: When and if you have doubts, you aren't ready. And yes with your best friend can ruin the friendship. Not everyone are able to step back after having intimate relations. (that is sex by the way) a "just" be friends..
You two are 13 years old, you... (read in full...)
Should I take Antidepressants?
Q. I believe myself to be a strong person and can deal with alot but i think it is this very mentality that has proved to be my downfall! The last few years i have coped with a lot from my grandmother's death to a miscarrige i told nobody about and...
A. 20 July 2009: I'm no fan of drugs and to an extend medicine. But... I think in your case they can give you an edge to move forward.
I strongly suggest that you at least go see a doctor and hear her/him out. The loss of a child, the miscarriage can quite li... (read in full...)
My dad won't let me and my boyfriend sleep in the same bed, and he keeps checking on us! What can I do?
Q. I am 19, my boyfriend is 19, we have been together for 5 years. the problem is: My dad wont allow us to sleep together in the same bed! i have been respectful towards my dad for years always going to sleep on the couch a couple times a week ...
A. 20 July 2009: You might be 19, but you dad still sees you as his "little" girl. Nothing you can do about that. You dad LOVES you and want to protect you from anything bad (even from guys - since he KNOWS how you guys are, HE was one once, remember?)
You w... (read in full...)
What is the best way to forget an ex-boyfriend who doesn't like you?
Q. ok, my ex boyfriend broke up with me almost a year ago and im still very much in love with him. ive known him for about 2 years but we only went out for a month. i miss him alot and i tried to text him and talk to him but he never answers, when he ...
A. 20 July 2009: Stop trying to rope him back in. He isn't interested. You need to let him go - ALL the way. That means no contact.
Concetrate on YOU. Find something YOU really like to do, hang out with friends, have fun, move on.
... (read in full...)
IS it appropriate to send flowers to an ex on an anniversary?
Q. My gf and I had dated for almost four years. We lived together for one, we didn't end on a bad note, never any huge problems, I am a pretty good guy. We were very good friends before we started dating and became lovers. We broke up over a month ago, ...
A. 20 July 2009: No. Don't send flowers. For two reasons. She is involved with someone else AND it is not your anniversary, if you aren't together. Easy as that. Once you break up with someone the anniversaries stop.. OK ?
NOW if it was her birthday, I would sa... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has been calling me horrible names but always claims he is joking after!
Q. my boyfriend and i have a very close relationship we've been on and off but recently he's been calling me a bitch a slag and a c**t wen i say thats rude he always replies with im jokin but is he really joking but i love him so much i could never ...
A. 20 July 2009: Because your BF is an asshat. Sorry it is not funny to call your partner "rude names".
How do you think he would like for you to call him names?
I don't understand why you accept this treatment fro someone who claims he loves you. He certai... (read in full...)
Am I pathetic or is it normal to feel like this for so long?
Q. Hi, Some of you may remember me from a while ago. Last June after going through a very unloving, frigid time due to the menopause (I think) I found my husband had been texting a work colleague and continued to do so (I naively assumed it had stop...
A. 20 July 2009: I think we all work though betrayal in different ways. Yours is by "supervising" your husband. Monitoring his every movements.
I think you husband is being honest when he says, that it was a game to boost his ego. It rarely is love, cheaters... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is being unfair! I find it hard to orgasm with him...so he has stopped trying!
Q. My boyfriend and i have been going out for a couple of months now. We have been having some problems sexually as we have been finding it hard to make me cum, i can when im masturbating but not with him. Because of this my boyfriend has given up ...
A. 17 July 2009: Tit for tat honey.
Don't tell him what he does wrong, tell him when he does something right.
SHOW him what you like and WHERE you like it. Play a tease in the bedroom, make him "earn" a BJ or whatever he really wants by pleasing you FIR... (read in full...)
My roommate's gf woke me with a bj! He's promiscuous so I wasn't feeling guilty, but now I am....
Q. OK so I have a roommate who always has girls spending the night at our place. I don't mind since it is his room and his business. Since we have moved in he has had at least thirty girls. Sometimes they moan really loud which turns me on at night ...
A. 17 July 2009: Let it go. He dates promiscuous girls for a reason, he doesn't want a steady girlfriend. So the Flavor of the month gave you a BJ? Well, enjoy it and forget about it.
I'm willing to bet that your room mate asked her to do it.
Unless you wa... (read in full...)
Does everyone read their SO's emails?
Q. I wonder what everyone's opinion is regarding their signifigant other's email? Reading the questions here, too often I see questions asked prefaced by the person saying they read their SO's emails (or messages on myspace or facebook). Am I...
A. 17 July 2009: I don't. But I have. He left is email open (by mistake) and I found things I wish I had never seen. It has been a long long journey.
I don't recomend snooping, unless you feel something is going on that shouldn't and even that it's kinda wrong.
... (read in full...)
Need ideas for a night in that don't involve cooking or the bathtub!
Q. having problems with my partener and want to have a romantic nite in she does not like eating so cooking a meal is out and dont have bath in washroom any idea's would be great...
A. 17 July 2009: Even if she doesn't like to eat ( BAFFLED) you can make a really sexy picnic, champagne, chocolate dipped strawberries, and the likes.... (read in full...)
Cheated on me with her cousin and dumped me!
Q. Im not kidding you, I was with a girl for 8 months and I truly loved her but, she ended up cheating on me with her cousin, I fell into sadness and depression and felt as if I would never find anyone. One of the reasons she dumped me was because I am ...
A. 17 July 2009: You need to find someone you are compatible with. She wasn't it. Specially if she dumped you for not being religious and for your country of origin..
You can do better.... (read in full...)
I'm so frightened. I think hes suffering from post traumatic stress
Q. I married my best friend of over ten years three years ago; right outside of high school. A month later, I found out I was pregnant. Two months into it, my husband enlisted in the US Army. He was deployed to Iraq four months before I gave birth. ...
A. 17 July 2009: Lots of guys coming back from deploments overseas are suffering.
Please go look up http://www.armywivesforums.com/forums/
There might be a wife near you who can help you. He needs help. Even if he no longer is Army, he might still be able to... (read in full...)
Is it just human nature to cheat?
Q. Does anyone have a straight-forward, happy, long-lasting relationship these days? My Mum and Dad divorced when I was a teenager, and my bf has recently cheated on me (nothing physical, but exchanging flirty texts and phone calls with a girl from ...
A. 17 July 2009: I totally agree with Satindesire, she put it perfectly!
Cheating - like lying, stealing, abusing.. they are all CHOICES. Some people Choose to not cheat, some choose to cheat.
As I see it lazy people are more likely to cheat, because otherwis... (read in full...)
I can't help feeling jealous hes already had the big white wedding!
Q. I've been seeing a guy that I'll call Sam for a little over 3 months, about a month ago we decided to become serious. My concern is this, he was married at a very young age but divorced her after he caught her cheating. He was truthful and did not ...
A. 17 July 2009: I think you need to realize that he has a past. The end.
That is it. Really. He might be a bit more "gun-shy" as far as maybe proposing to you but that might not be a bad idea. since he OBVIOUSLY made a mistake the first time he got married.... (read in full...)
I don't know if he's for real or not
Q. i net this guy on msn and he said i was hott! (this is the first boyfriend i have had) ..... he asked me for sex and i said no. than he asked me out, i said yes i dont know how to talk to him and when i do i always sound like a dickhead, he...
A. 17 July 2009: Yes dump him. If he can not show himself on a web cam he could be anyone. Like 50 year old pedophile.
Dump him as fast as you can then block him.
Don't talk to strangers on the net asking for sex. That is a very dangerous game to play. To many... (read in full...)
Husbands vacations with ex-wife and adult children
Q. My husband is going on a camping vacation with his exwife and some of his adult children. He kept it secret from me untill recently when he had to admit it because of buying a airline ticket. She is not bringing her husband and he asked me to go ...
A. 17 July 2009: No you are not wrong in feeling bothered or ticked off. The fact that he kept it secret is a big red flag, the fact that HER husband isn't going, is again a red flag, and again, you weren't invited til you found out about it and he "had" to invite ... (read in full...)
Did he take advantage of me?
Q. Almost a month ago I had a one night fling with this guy we will call him "M", well we talked over the phone about our "fling" we both agreed that things would go back to the way they were between us. Well, last Saturday he just calls me out of the ...
A. 16 July 2009: He seems like a guy you need to jsut stay away from. Just because the two of you slept together once doesn't mean you owe him anything.
Let him go. ... (read in full...)
Wife talking to ex about possible affair..lies about it
Q. I recently wrote that I caught my wife instant messaging her ex-boyfriend. She left her messenger on and at some point he im'd her while she was not there. I was the next to get at the computer so she missed it. I clicked "show recent messages" and ...
A. 16 July 2009: She is deflecting. Trying to make her actions "your" fault. They aren't. She is lying, because she doesn't know just how much you know and she thinks you trust her enough to believe her. Unfortunately, you know she is lying.
1. She can easily d... (read in full...)
Wife feels ignored, cause of my business
Q. My wife has been really piss at me for not paying enough attention to her due to my job, I've insanely with business trips, meetings etc so I haven't been blowing off her a lot lately. I missed her birthday and our anniversary (they're quite close ...
A. 16 July 2009: Do you have a scheduler on your cell phone or computer? If so ADD the important dates in her and your life.
If you aren't going to be home for her birthday - ARRANGE for something special, like flowers to be delivered ( either to her home or work)... (read in full...)
Why do I no longer love my wife?
Q. Why do I no longer love my wife? My wife and I have been married for 5 years, we have no children. She is 31 and I am 32. I feel no longer love my wife. She is a wonderful person, the kind that does everything to make you feel better. People ...
A. 16 July 2009: I'm assuming she has no idea how you feel? You two need to talk. You need to examine what it is that you feel you are missing in your relationship.
I DON'T suggest you two try to have a child, specially if your marriage isn't working too well. Th... (read in full...)
The first date was great but he hasn't called to me ask me out for a second, what's going on?
Q. I work at a rehersal studio and this guy comes un once a week... For a few months he would come and buy a soda and flirt with me... One night he started asking me questions about myself and I ended up giving him my business card... He had it for ...
A. 16 July 2009: I think I have to agree with bobbles. I don't think he is interested in a relationship. You two had a really good date and then he goes cold.. When a guy says he will call you and then he doesn't, that is a "polite" way of saying I'm not ... (read in full...)
I don't love my husband but I'm worried about my children
Q. Hi need some advice. I've been with my husband since I was 17 years old and we have been married 8 years and have 2 lovely sons. I am now 31 but for the last year i have been unhappy and feel like me and my partner have drifted apart and my feelings ...
A. 16 July 2009: If you stay and do nothing you will hurt your sons and husband just as much as if you were to leave.
You need to figure out some things. 1. Would you be happier without your husband then with him?
If the answer is yes, then you need to figure o... (read in full...)
Why do women place such importance on the emotional side of sex?
Q. Okay, I have a question for both men and women. My girlfriend and I have been together for over a year. When it comes to sex, she claims to love it with me and tells me that I make her feel better than anyone has before - physically but then she ...
A. 16 July 2009: You have some serious issues.
You don't want a girlfriend you want a blowup doll. Do your GF a favor, dump her and find a girl who don't give a flying frig about you, but just wants sex.
... (read in full...)
How do I make the break final instead of running away from our problems?
Q. Hello, I'm looking for help regarding my marriage and would be grateful for advice from people who may have gone through a similar situation. My husband and I have been together 12 years, but only married for 3.5 years. Less than a week before we ...
A. 16 July 2009: To forgive is not easy. Not by a long shot. But, you will HAVE to forgive him NOT for him, but for yourself.
Understand and accept that what he did is NOT your fault, you didn't MAKE him cheat. That is all on him. HIS choice, HIS actions.... (read in full...)
Why do men go around staring at other women when their girlfriends/wives are with them?
Q. Why do guys have to be so ignorant! im sure there are guys out there who wont stare at other women but most do and it makes their wives/gfs really degraded! then they sit and complain when we tell them that it hurts us! thats a bunch of BS. wom...
A. 16 July 2009: I don't feel degraded if my husband looks at a pretty woman. If he started to drool, whistle and chase after her, then yeah, I would feel degraded. I would also divorce him real quick.
I think it is natural that we ALL look (notice) the other se... (read in full...)
Should I have a relationship with the boy I have been raising even though he is another man's son?
Q. I have been married for ten years. We have two sons. My wife recently told me she was having an affair with a coworker for five of those years. According to her, that man is the father of our youngest. Supposedly she broke it off six months ago ...
A. 16 July 2009: I understand your anger and your doubts, but here is what I would do. Until you know 100% that he is or isn't yours keep him in your life.
Your name is on the birth certificate and you will most likely have to pay child support for him, even if ... (read in full...)
Worried about my new life in Oz....
Q. Hi - I am due to move out to Oz to be with my boyfriend (he's 33 I'm 37) soon but he is cricket obsessed. I know he has always been really into playing it and there is no way I would get in the way of that in essence (he played since an early age ...
A. 16 July 2009: I guess it comes down to you. How adventurous are you? Can you handle being alone or are you a person who is quite capable of making friends of her own? If you have second doubt now, it might not be the best thing for you, since you will be looking ... (read in full...)
Was it wrong of me to lose my virginity to my ex?
Q. Well first off i'm a 16 year old girl in serious need of advice! I would normally go to my mom or dad for advice but this time i cant. i feel like if i tell them ill disappoint them and thats exactly what i dont want. cuz like ever other norma...
A. 15 July 2009: It is something you can't take back or do over. So really STOP beating yourself up. He is most likely the first guy you really loved or had strong feelings for so in that sense, is it so bad that HE was the one?
Next time you meet a guy remember... (read in full...)
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