Was it wrong of me to lose my virginity to my ex?
Q. Well first off i'm a 16 year old girl in serious need of advice! I would normally go to my mom or dad for advice but this time i cant. i feel like if i tell them ill disappoint them and thats exactly what i dont want. cuz like ever other norma...
A. 15 July 2009: It is something you can't take back or do over. So really STOP beating yourself up. He is most likely the first guy you really loved or had strong feelings for so in that sense, is it so bad that HE was the one?
Next time you meet a guy remember... (read in full...)
He's emailed old girlfriends, I'm not sure I trust him but I don't want to police him either. Help!
Q. This is the 2nd marriage for both my husband and I. Last year, I discovered emails he sent to a female he met at a ticket counter in which he described how he missed his ex and would still die for her. When confronted he said we were going through ...
A. 15 July 2009: Good Job! I love it when people don't just give up or "suffer" in silence! I'm glad he got his eyes opened and hopefully he will act like a grown up. ... (read in full...)
How do you know if you've done the right thing by telling him to leave?
Q. hi i have seperated from my husband of 18 years 10 months ago. I have a 10 and 14yr old girl. My question is "how do you know if you have done the right thing by telling him to leave?" He is a very selfish man, when we first married I was the one ...
A. 15 July 2009: Ask yourself this:
Are you happier with or without him?
From what you describe it is not hard to tell that you don't love the man he is today. People do grow and do change, some gradually some slowly. My bet is that over the 18 years you have spe... (read in full...)
I think he's having sex with his daughter!
Q. i am with a man in his late 40's he has a daughter living with him who is 18 i have known this man for 15yrs now and am madly in love with him. I really feel that he is having sex with his daughter and cannot get it out of my head. I have ...
A. 15 July 2009: WOW that is quite an accusation. What makes me think you gut could be right is the fact that he didn't dump you. I think any man who isn't doing, what you think he is doing, would be so furious that they would have dumped you.
Which in turns ma... (read in full...)
Daydreams that are more like nightmares
Q. I have these occasional "day dreams" where my mind travels into an imgainary scene or something, although I wouldn't exactly call them dreams. More like nightmares. These visions make me feel extremely sad, automatically tears form. What is this? I ...
A. 15 July 2009: You need to learn to control and "bend" your day dreams. It does take a lot of focus, but it can be done. It is kinda like when you have a good dream that turns REAL ugly and you wake up, if you focus on the scary part you might dream it again and ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is under the impression I have a really big penis, but I think I'm average. Will she be disappointed?
Q. Ive met a girl that I really really like. and she has also fallen for me to. She has left her boyfriend of six years for me. Anyway, this might sound very stupid but please take it seriousely as it is getting to me. She is under the impres...
A. 13 July 2009: I doubt she left an ex of 6 years for a big cock. I don't think ANY women would do that. There is a little more to us females then the WANT for well hung men.
However I'm sure there are females who think the bigger the better. If she is one of t... (read in full...)
I feel physically sick, he's not the man I married!
Q. i have been married for the last 15 years to a much older guy.at first we were the ideal couple and to be honest we never argued much.but lately i can't seem to shake off this unsettledness feeling.He spends more and more time at work,complains he ...
A. 13 July 2009: Don't expects others to be the vehicle for you OWN happiness. YOU need to own that. IF you are not happy with him as things are now, you have to do something about it.
First, talk to him. Tell him, SHOW him what you want/need from him. If he ca... (read in full...)
Haven't had a blow job in 6 years from wife!
Q. I am a 39 year old male and have been married for 14 years. My question is How does my anger towards my wife really affect our relationship? The anger stems from the lack of oral sex i recieve. Before i was married life was good, after that day it ...
A. 13 July 2009: It seems like the two of you have some serious issues going on that you do not deal with.
1. trust. Your wife doesn't trust you AT all. She hasn't forgiven or moved past what she believes was you being unfaithful.
2. Communication. Y... (read in full...)
Is he serious or just joking?
Q. My boyfriend of a year and a half has, in the past, said multiple times that my friends are wh*res, n*ggers, and handfuls of other derogatory names because of some threat that they pose to him. I am not friends with bad people, I am not friends...
A. 13 July 2009: Why are you still with this ASSHAT?
I would NEVER in a million years allow a boyfriend to talk SMACK like that about MY friends, are you kidding?
If anyone is worthless in all of this it is your boyfriend. WOW what a shallow, ignorant, racist... (read in full...)
Shouls I ask for her forgiveness and hope she will take me back or leave it?
Q. I'm so confused about my feelings and think I've made a terrible mistake! I have recently ended a relationship with the most wonderful woman after 2 years! We had a really deep connection and in the beginning the excitement was fantastic as I ...
A. 13 July 2009: I think if you are serious about wanting to commit to her you need to at least TRY and talk to her. Maybe show her this post you wrote - or WRITE her a letter with all that you want to say, but feel you can't.
She might understand and forgive.... (read in full...)
He left his girlfriend but seems more distant to me now..
Q. In May, I asked the following question on this site http://www.dearcupid.org/question/hes-sweet-and-lovely-and-caring-and-cheating.html. After people's advice the man I asked the question about dumped his girlfriend...was a real suprise to me asw...
A. 13 July 2009: First of all, my advice would be to STOP dating guys who are obviously "taken" already. It will only end in drama and mistrust.
1. He dumped his girlfriend for you, yet he says the two of you aren't together, so either he is seeing you as a FWB ( ... (read in full...)
How do I approach her about her unwanted sexual advances?
Q. I've got a problem and I don't really know how to handle it. Last week, a female co-worker came on to me. We've been good friends since I started working there three years ago and I had no idea that she was attracted to me. She came round to my ...
A. 13 July 2009: I will second the ask her to meet you for lunch to talk about it.
Met in a public place ( she won't try to hit on you there) and the two of you can talk. She most likely took your friendliness and the inviting her over for something else.
... (read in full...)
I come across very confident sexualy but in reality I'm bricking it! Help me
Q. I'm nervous. I've been seeing this guy and i'm really worried that i'm not going to be enough, sexually. It's embarrassing to admit... You see, he has 8 inches down there, and I'm worried that I won't be able to give him decent oral sex. He told me ...
A. 13 July 2009: Get online and order the book:
" Tickle his Pickle" by Sadie Allison
I swear you will learn a few tricks that will help you knock his socks off. I'm pretty sure he isn't expecting serious deep throat, so relax and use all you got. ( hands, mouth... (read in full...)
I wasn't nice to him when I bumped into him at a party. Should I text him?
Q. I thank anyone who helps( in advance). I broke up with my boyfriend of twelve years in January. He asked for no contact and I did this. I found out that he has a mutual friend who has been keeping him in touch with what I am doing and his mutual ...
A. 13 July 2009: I think we all say/do things around a "newly" ex that we might regret at some point, so really, stop beating yourself up. IF you feel bad for you action CALL him, say Hey, I'm sorry I was an ass. Don't text it. That is (sorry if that sounds harsh) ... (read in full...)
My partner calls out his ex's name when we have sex, does he still love him, should I move on?
Q. I have recently been seeing my partner for over a month now and everything has been ok except for his insecurities about me cheating although i never would and have never cheated on any of my other partners... Whilst having sex my partner said his ...
A. 13 July 2009: I think that is a question you should ask him. How did he react to using HER name with you?
Personally it would tick me off to no END if that ever happened to me.
Does it mean he loves her? Maybe. She is most definitely on his mind during sex.... (read in full...)
Is it any big deal if I masturbate 2 or 3 times a day, are there any side effects?
Q. Okay so im a 17 yr old female n i am just wondeting is it weird that I mas turbate 2 or3 times a day ? And does it have any side effects or something ?...
A. 13 July 2009: No you won't go blind... :)
... (read in full...)
At this point she doesn't even know I exist!
Q. Hey, I'm a guy, 24 years old and recently I started a new job. The place is great and most of the people are really nice. THe HUGE problem is that I'm a total looser. I'm one of those introverted melancholy type of people. Not to mention I...
A. 10 July 2009: Stop beating yourself up. So you are shy. So you feel goofy around her.. So what?
Make yourself say hi to her when you see her. Nothing more nothing less. That isn't so scary is it? Then after a few weeks of hi, branch out. Put a few words to... (read in full...)
He has no time for me! Is it too much to ask?
Q. My boyfriend and I broke up a couple of months ago. He was pretty desperate to stay friends with me and its what I wanted too. The breakup was his fault so I really felt like if he wanted to stay friends he had to put the effort in and he agreed. ...
A. 10 July 2009: Yes, he is your ex. As much as it would be nice to have him around when you need him, he is no longer your BF. I think you are putting on expectations that he either don't really wish to fulfil or that are unrealistic.
I do think it has more to ... (read in full...)
Condom discomfort
Q. I've been married about 3 years and my wife and I were each other's first and we have always had natural, naked genital sex. Now she has a medical problem (nothing real serious) and has to go off birth control pills and stay away from other things ...
A. 10 July 2009: You might have to be a little adventurous and try out some different brands. Make SURE you don't get the one the desensitize you, they are only really good for men who can't last long.
Either go online ( Condom Nation/Condom depot or any website ... (read in full...)
Best friend's boyfriend is coming on to me!
Q. i think my best friends boyfriend keeps coming on to me! He will say things like, i wish she was more like you, i think your gorgeous, can i pop round and see you etc! They have been together for 3 years and they have a little boy together, i know ...
A. 10 July 2009: You need to shut him down asap. He might "just" be paying you compliments because he likes you, it might be more.
Telling your friend is not going to help her relationship - not with her BF and not with you.
Tell him his compliments are ... (read in full...)
Married for 6 weeks and think I made a big mistake!
Q. Please help me, I have been married for 6 weeks now and feel that I have made a huge mistake. Its not that I no longer love my husband, as I do more than anything, but the soul destroying problem is that he refuses to have sex with me. We have not ...
A. 10 July 2009: Cathy, you need to talk to him. For most couples I know ( married or not) sex is a vital part of it. Sex shouldn't be the MAIN focus, but it should be something both parties want. Specially WITH each other.
Knowing that you two didn't have an ... (read in full...)
Can a person totally change their personality?
Q. Can people change personalities over 10 years; like be different in personality and not the same person? can people ?...
A. 10 July 2009: I think yes, we all grow though out our lives, so yes we do change gradually.
I think certain aspects of your personality stays the same, but there are so many factors that can change a person. All from drugs to trauma - to personal experien... (read in full...)
I liked her so much I couldn't perform!
Q. I have a major problem. I have wanted this girl for a long time...recently she pretty much gave me the green light and i got so nervous that i couldnt even be turned on.....my heart was beating like a million miles an hour an i couldnt get an ...
A. 10 July 2009: I don't have a medical back ground but I'm pretty sure you are suffering from performance anxiety.
http://www.whitelotuseast.com/PerformanceAnxiety.htm
Read the link and see if that might give you a little insight.... (read in full...)
Would a guy still have sex with a girl even if he thought she sucked in bed?
Q. Would a guy still have sex with a girl even though he thought she sucked in bed? Or because he thinks she sucks would he completely turn it down?...
A. 10 July 2009: Not everyone is good at sex right of the bat. However I think if two people truly care for each other they can teach each other how to be "better".
See you might seem like a bad lay to one guy but have all the right moves with another. It's cal... (read in full...)
Why does it hurt when he fingers me?
Q. It never really feels good when my boyfriend fingers me, it feels great when he rubs/plays with my clit but no feelings but pain with the fingering, (pain cuz i'm really tight). Is something wrong with me?...
A. 10 July 2009: Then don't let him finger you. If it doesn't DO anything but pain for you then don't do it.
... (read in full...)
He kissed me and only got a semi-erect penis?
Q. So last night my male friend gave me a smooch on the lips goodbye. Although we are just friends he always plants one on my lips. So i asked him last night why he kisses me on my lips instead of my cheek and he said I ask for it. Ok...yes I secretly ...
A. 10 July 2009: I want to be if you have snogged him good it wouldn't have been a semi- hard...
( and with snogged I mean a deep, passionate, long kiss)
You did turn him on. That is why he left.
... (read in full...)
Am I just a disposable girlfriend?
Q. Last night marked the most uncomfortable, heartbreaking conversation with my boyfriend. I just graduated from college and have been feeling awful because I cannot find a job to save my life. Naturally, this sadness and frustration made me want a ...
A. 10 July 2009: I think you are projecting your own fears on to your boyfriend.
He is being honest when he speaks. Listen to it carefully. Just because he isn't saying what you want him to say. Don't play games. Be honest. Say what you feel, but understa... (read in full...)
Why do men want to get me into bed, then forget about me??
Q. I am hoping to get some input on my dating situation. I am 33 mother of 2 boys that live with me, 10 and 12. I have been single for a few years now. I started dating about 6 months ago. I have met two guys that I really liked. Seems like ...
A. 10 July 2009: Thank you for answering my questions. You are looking for a man in all the wrong places. I seriously don't think the Internet is the best way to met a man to have a future with. Even if it does happen to a lot of people. You can I suppose get lucky ... (read in full...)
I'm 20 years old and my libido has disappeared!
Q. I'm 20 years old and as of the last two years (or maybe a bit less) my libido has gone down, down, DOWN!!!! I no longer get any tingly sensations, maybe VERY mild ones. Sometimes, when I'm with my boyfriend... but it's not him, it's me. Well...
A. 10 July 2009: Go see your doctor and talk to him. At the age of 20 your libido shouldn't go down like that with out a reason.
It could definitely be hormonal. ... (read in full...)
What would be the outcome if I'm pregnant?
Q. My boyfriend and I have had a unprotected sex quite a few times. I know it was stupid as I have condoms and I have birth control pills which I choose not to take. Long story short - I am a dumb fifteen year old I suppose. I've been on this sit...
A. 10 July 2009: I think the reason your mother is hard on you, when it comes to birth control/sex/pregnancy is because she has been there done that, and she is still feeling the consequences emotionally.
Surprised? I know several GROWN women, who in their la... (read in full...)
Why do men want to get me into bed, then forget about me??
Q. I am hoping to get some input on my dating situation. I am 33 mother of 2 boys that live with me, 10 and 12. I have been single for a few years now. I started dating about 6 months ago. I have met two guys that I really liked. Seems like ...
A. 10 July 2009: How long do you date a guy before sleeping with him? And how much time do you spend with him? ( physically, not texting not on the phone, IM or such)
Where did you met the guys?
I can not tell you why they do it. Maybe they had no interest in c... (read in full...)
My breasts are different sizes by about a cup, what can I do?
Q. Ever since I was about 16, my breasts have been different sizes. Now that I'm 19, they're still different. I'd say it's a good cup size difference, so it's obvious when I'm naked. Luckily, you can't really tell when I have a shirt on, although my ...
A. 10 July 2009: I think it's as high as 90% of women who has "uneven" breast sizes. Just like most people aren't 100% symmetrical in their faces, same goes for the rest of the body.
The only "fix" is surgically. However it is perfectly normal. It does suck a l... (read in full...)
6 years ago he touched me inappropriately and now he wants to be friends!
Q. when i was 7 i was sexualy touched during a game of truth or dare. The rules were was if u don't do the dare u had to take a pice of cloths of and i had gottin down to my underwear and shirt and when i did not do another dare i did not want to take ...
A. 10 July 2009: No. If he at the age of 10 threatened you with a knife to get undressed what do you think he might be capable now?
Nu uh, stay away from that guy. He is bad news.
... (read in full...)
I've been having an affair with my friend's 16 year old daughter, and now she may be pregnant!
Q. Iam a married 40yr old who has been having an affair with my friends 16yr old daughter. She may now be pregnant and I think I love her. What should I do?...
A. 10 July 2009: I'm not sure if the UK have the same age rules for statutory rape as the US.
Sorry to say but I can not give you a "nice" reply at all.
I see jail time in your future.... (read in full...)
Sex has become a much higher priority to him than me
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years and we've been living together for almost 2 years. He says he wants to spend the rest of his life with me and that he loves me with all his heart. The problem is, our sex life has steadily gone downhill over ...
A. 10 July 2009: I am going to agree with the anon poster who mentions porn addiction.
The thing is, you need to talk to him about it ( not calling it addiction to start with ) but tell him you feel neglected. See how it goes. If you telling him you want MORE of ... (read in full...)
Can anyone give me some blowjob techniques?
Q. Can anyone tell me about blow-job techniques that would help my boyfriend to cum?...
A. 10 July 2009: Order the book:
"Tickle His Pickle" by Sadie Allison. You can definently pick up a few really good pointers. ... (read in full...)
I'm much older than him and he's interested and I want to make his first time memorable
Q. I live alone, and there's a boy in my neighborhood who helps me out with odd jobs. He turned 18 two months ago. He's leaving for college in September and has been nervous about the whole thing. We were talking about it recently. I told him not ...
A. 9 July 2009: HE will not get the no-strings-attatched. If he was a little experienced then maybe, but the guy has a serious crush on you.
It's a nice fantasy. And honestly he could do a LOT worse for his first time. BUT the whole Mrs. Robinson (The Graduate... (read in full...)
I married but want to be with others
Q. I have been married for almost three years. I do love my husband, but there has been many times when I find myself wanting to be with other people. Is that normal?...
A. 9 July 2009: I wouldn't call it normal. BUT, I would say it is unheard off.
You need to figure out what is it you aren't getting/giving in your marriage that makes you think you can get it from others.
What is normal though is, no matter how many years y... (read in full...)
Will I regret having sex with someone I won't love later in life?
Q. So I'm 14 and I know I'm kind of young, but I look more like I'm 18 apparently and I've done everything but have sex, and I've been asked many times to have sex and I've always turned people down, but I kind of want to have sex, but I partly also ...
A. 9 July 2009: It doesn't matter how OLD you look. It is how old you really are. Just because you feel older doesn't mean you need to do stuff "older" people do. Like drive a car or vote.. or have sex.
I was 19 and I had know him for 9 months before we had sex,... (read in full...)
How do I confront a guy thats trying to get my attention?
Q. Okay, so every girl loves when guys check them out right? Yeah, so today, I went to this place with some family, and I was sitting alone for a while, and this really amazingly hot guy was sitting across from me. I was playing with my phone thinking ...
A. 9 July 2009: Say Hi, my name is .... and go from there.
... (read in full...)
In love with 1st cousin
Q. MOD NOTE: Poster is asking for HELPFUL advice...Not to be BASHED. Aunts please answer according! i need some real help and not judgment plz! ok so i don't really know where to start...its a long story so a few years ago i fell in love with my 1st c...
A. 9 July 2009: It used to be the norm that you married someone as closely related as possible ( so the land stayed in the family and so forth) but, the probability of defects in children, in breeding is higher and therefor is was outlawed in many countries and ... (read in full...)
He's emailed old girlfriends, I'm not sure I trust him but I don't want to police him either. Help!
Q. This is the 2nd marriage for both my husband and I. Last year, I discovered emails he sent to a female he met at a ticket counter in which he described how he missed his ex and would still die for her. When confronted he said we were going through ...
A. 9 July 2009: I agree with Celia here. He is not sorry for contacting them, he is sorry for getting caught.
However the two of you need to talk about limitations, values and what you both find is "right & wrong" behavior.
The fact is, your guy thinks that ... (read in full...)
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