How to get past an affair?
Q. If anyone has advice on how to get past an affair, please let me know. It has been 8 years since my wife cheated, and it still feels extremely painful. I can't seem to fully trust her no matter how hard I try....
A. 1 July 2012: Has she ever been to counseling for whatever traumatic event caused her to have PTSD? If not, maybe it's time.
Since you want to stay I say time to roll your sleeves up, and GET help to fix it. It may not be possible, but nothing else has work... (read in full...)
My guy says he will be dating another girl ...
Q. One day my guy told me he doesn't want to hide anything from me so i should ask me anything. i then asked him what he has been hidding from me and he said a girl asked him to date her so now he's dating her even though he doesn't love her. He said ...
A. 1 July 2012: Since he is YOUR bf, I say DUMP him..
Find a guy who can STICK to just having 1 girlfriend at the time.
Sorry, honey just because girls like him doesn't mean it's OK for him to have multiple girlfriends.
He sounds like a walking STD.... (read in full...)
It felt like things were getting back to normal ... but they weren't!
Q. Hello Everybody, Don't know if this is the right place for this, but here goes... I am now 33 years of age and I was with my long term partner for 9 years. Our relationship, I thought, was good. It had its ups and downs like any relation...
A. 30 June 2012: First off, I'm so sorry for the loss of you dad and the child. That is a lot of loss to deal with all by yourself.
Secondly, Stop paying any of her bills. IF you are on the mortgage of the place she lives in, contact a lawyer and figure the fina... (read in full...)
I Left my husband, and I am in love with another man but he has a girlfriend!
Q. I am hoping you can all help me out. I need honest opinions from people who are not in the situation like me. Because I find I look at it more from the angle of having hope and maybe being too optimistic about it. I just don't want to be hurt ...
A. 30 June 2012: I'm old fashioned and my opinion is that you need to TRULY end one relationship before jumping in to another. Which means I think you need to focus on getting a divorce, get yourself back on your own two feet before thinking of starting something ... (read in full...)
One of the unmarried men has been texting me for awhile!
Q. I am very confused right now and need some good sound advice! I am 64 and have been married for 39 years! My husband has Parkinson's and is now in a nursing home! I spent most of my 39 years with my husband as a good wife and mother at home. I ...
A. 30 June 2012: I'm sorry that you are in this position. I can't even begin to imagine how hard it must be.
The thing is, you need to stick to what YOU think is right. I know your husband is in a nursing home and if that wasn't bad enough a guy is hitting ... (read in full...)
Can toothpaste get rid of pimples?
Q. Iv starting developing pimples. iv been using a cream but it bleach my skin too much so iv decided to put an end to it even though it helps me. I heard tooth paste can also get rid of pimples. But i dont know how to go about it. Can tooth paste get ...
A. 30 June 2012: If you just have a single pimple on your face then yes, toothpaste can help, but long term use and all over the face I wouldn't advice it. Toothpaste is NOT made for skin care. It is made for tooth-care and gum-care.
I would honestly suggest ... (read in full...)
How to get past an affair?
Q. If anyone has advice on how to get past an affair, please let me know. It has been 8 years since my wife cheated, and it still feels extremely painful. I can't seem to fully trust her no matter how hard I try....
A. 30 June 2012:
How did you two deal with this issue back then? Did you two get counseling? Did you talk about? Did you talk about trust?
Trust takes NO time in being torn down and it takes a LONG time to rebuild.
I would suggest you take some time and f... (read in full...)
I just see red flags all over her!
Q. Okay, so about 10-11months ago my boyfriend dated this girl (let's call her Kate). And so after about 3 months of them dating, she decided to break up with him, because another love interest had come her way, and she wanted the other boy. My ...
A. 30 June 2012: I think he showed you their chat for two reasons:
1. so you wouldn't feel threatened by her, except his plan backfired.
or
2. To throw you little of balance to see if you get/got jealous, again his plan backfired.
One of my "pet-peeves... (read in full...)
My guy says he will be dating another girl ...
Q. One day my guy told me he doesn't want to hide anything from me so i should ask me anything. i then asked him what he has been hidding from me and he said a girl asked him to date her so now he's dating her even though he doesn't love her. He said ...
A. 30 June 2012: When you say "my guy" do you mean he is your boyfriend or your male friend?
Elaborate please.
... (read in full...)
If I am resigned to a lousy love life but otherwise a good relationship is that worth hanging onto?
Q. Dear Aunts, I am more in love with my current girlfriend of 5 years than I have been with any other woman, but she is a sexual dead fish. She does not enjoy sex with me and she won't work with me to improve it. Quite frankly, I think she i...
A. 29 June 2012: Sorry, if you stay you are fully committed to dead fish sex for the rest of the relationship.
And if you stay, give it a few years and you will want to stray, - anything to get you to feel wanted in a physical/sexual manner.
She doesn't e... (read in full...)
Would it be rude to ask for gift cards instead of gifts?
Q. This is not a relationship question but I am curious. My daughters first birthday is next month and we plan on keeping it simple inviting family and a few close family friends. Now I know usually people buy clothes or toys for gifts and I'm wonderin...
A. 29 June 2012: If anyone ask, I think it's OK to say, maybe a gift card to so-so store.
Honestly, she is turning 1. She will not want to sit and open a bunch of presents, usually at that age they are happy with just a couple.
I would however NOT suggest it t... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is planning a vacation with his ex-wife, for their daughter's sake. Should I be upset?
Q. Recently, my boyfriend of about 9 months said that he and his ex-wife were planning to take their 5 year old daughter on vacation to Disneyworld. They've been divorced for a few years, and live about three hours apart, but share equal custody of the ...
A. 29 June 2012: Make your Facebook private. That is #1.
Secondly, I would go if you are invited. Don't worry about her, go have a great time and let this little girl be surrounded by 3 adults who love her. Pretty sure the ex isn't going to act like a total co... (read in full...)
I've not responded to this girl sending me nasty messages but she is still doing it, what should I do?
Q. Hi guys, so I've asked about this twice... I'll link the threads if the Aunts will let me. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-friend-bullies-me.html and http://www.dearcupid.org/question/what...
A. 29 June 2012: Keep ignoring her. Don't play her games. Trust me the longer she goes on and on and on about dissing you and you don't respond the DUMBER she looks.
And stop checking out her twitter. Don't waste your time on this negative energy and negative... (read in full...)
Asian guy with hot white girl. Never seen it in real life
Q. You rarely see a very hot caucasian girl with an asian guy (I'm not asking whether you've seen it. It happens, but it's rare). I've read that the best looking girls TEND to like more masculine guys, whereas more average girls TEND to like a bit less ...
A. 29 June 2012: I see it all the time. Maybe it's more common in the military with "mixed" couples. You see EVERY variety imaginable.
I don't think Asian men look any less masculine, honestly. But then again I'm not really a Guido/Beef-cake fan.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend accuses me of cheating every day!
Q. My boyfriend accusses me of cheating everday,ive never and wld never cheat but really he is ruining what we have. I love him but im tired of defending myself it is making me physically sick! What do i do?...
A. 29 June 2012: I agree with the "Aunties" and "Uncle" Fatherly Advice. He does it to keep you in line, make YOU work extra hard trying to prove that you are faithful and loving to him only. Keeping you off center with his accusations you are more worried what HE ... (read in full...)
Is it fair for my partner to blame me for looking at his emails when I found out he's cheating again?
Q. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for two and a half years. We have an 8 month old daughter together. We were starting new and moved recently to a new state because of a job opportunity for him. A few months ago I noticed him acting a ...
A. 29 June 2012: Is it fair that you looked at his e-mails? Honestly, I am not a fan of snooping, but in your case it wasn't a surprise really, you just got conformation.
OFF COURSE he is mad at you snooping. Why? Because now he got CAUGHT! with his pants down in ... (read in full...)
I feel a fool for hooking up with somebody who only wants sex!
Q. Me and this guy had been talking for 6 months online (I'm english, he is german) we eventually meet up and we end up sleeping together. Big BIG mistake. We were on different wave lengths in regards to what was happening, I thought we were going to ...
A. 28 June 2012: Eh, it happens. We all make mistakes. He is one of your mistakes.
If you really don't just want to be a shag, then cancel the "hook up" and tell him something came up you can't make it. And then cut the contact.
He will NOT realize that you... (read in full...)
The way he asked for money made me feel like an outsider, like an cash machine
Q. Hi everyone. I hope you can help me get some perspective. My boyfriend of 2 years asked me to lend him some money,just to get him through the week til payday. I helped him out, and he told me afterwards it was because he had to pay an unexpected ...
A. 28 June 2012: Well, I hope he pays you back on payday after THAT treatment.
If he had been UPFRONT about what he needed the money for, it would have been a much better thing. I suggest you talk to him about it. Why he didn't tell you what the money was for befo... (read in full...)
Guilty of leaving my wife and son for my mistress! What should I do?
Q. This is a tough one. I been separated from my wife of 10 years for 9 months now. We have a loving 2 year old boy. The reason for the separation is because I fell in love with my mistress. I been living with her now and we now have a relationship ...
A. 28 June 2012: Little late for the guilt don't you think? And yes, you should GIVE your wife a divorce so SHE can go out and find a GOOD faithful guy, and you can lay in the bed you made.
Sorry, I find it so hard to find compassion for cheater who think of nothi... (read in full...)
I feel like she just wants a boy to chase her!
Q. I'm utterly heartbroken here. I met this girl who I wasn't that attracted to at first and we became really good friends very quickly. She showed a lot of interest in me and she eventually started hanging out with me at the movies and my house. This ...
A. 28 June 2012: She sounds like an attention "whore" (not trying to be harsh but that is the saying) and somewhat of a tease.
Why is she doing it, because she likes GAMES, she CRAVES attention.
However, honey, you need to listen to the clues. The FIRST time s... (read in full...)
I cheated on him and now he has cheated on me, I feel alone and sad
Q. We are in a relationship living together with one daughter. Known him for six years now. Together for about five of them. Idk where to start my question I guess I feel trapped , and alone. I cheated on him and our cheating/decieveing issues goes way ...
A. 27 June 2012: Seems to me that you two are only together because of the child, not really fair of the child to have to be the glue to this dysfunctional relationship.
Maybe he is distant because he wants out, but isn't sure how to do it. Maybe he got a hug from... (read in full...)
Can I trust him? He clicked like on her profile!
Q. This is probably going to be the silliest question I've ever asked and I'm a bit embarrassed asking advice on this but the other day my boyfriend " liked " a girls picture on Facebook. He says it was his friend but since then it's made me very ...
A. 27 June 2012: If there isn't more to it, then what you have written I think you are grossly overreacting and holds no trust in your guy.
Honey, you can not look to your BF as the ONLY source for your self-esteem. YOU need to learn to love YOU, for others t... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for a guy to have slept with only one girl?
Q. Hello everyone, I don't know if Im being paranoid by asking this question. Well, is it wrong for a guy to have slept with only one girl? Because when my friends talk or having conversations, they boast or brag about having sex with four or more ...
A. 27 June 2012: No, it's QUITE alright. Stick to your morals and values.... (read in full...)
Is it ok to only want sex?
Q. Is it ok to only want sex? I mean I see that women are often irritated because the new guy they just met only seems to be interested in sex. What's wrong with that? ...
A. 27 June 2012: Because it's nice to be more then a hole in the mattress to another person.
If you are not capable of anything but sex, it says a lot about you. And for most woman what is says is, NOT a keeper.... (read in full...)
My husband left me because he thinks I cheated, but I found texts from a man to my husband saying 'I love you' and suspicious receipts for restaurants.....what is going on?
Q. My marine husband of 4 years who by the way was abusive verbally and accused me of cheating when he got back from Iraq. was always paranoid. He said we had orders back home where i grew up. 1 day after closing he said he got orders changed to go to ...
A. 27 June 2012: I agree, military takes care of their soldiers first and some units do bother to help out family members but it's not as common as it should be. I'm sorry his CoC is a boob. It's unfortunately more common that they don't bother specially if the ... (read in full...)
I'm being stalked at work by a customer.
Q. I work in a convenience store on the same three days every week, and have to deal with a lot of bullshit from our clientele on a regular basis. Getting harassed, talked down to and hit on by men is a regular occurrence. While this is experienced by ...
A. 26 June 2012: Stay safe, if you work late have someone walk you to your car, or get someone to pick you up.
Talk to the person who talked to said customer and get a description. Also talk to your boss. He/She needs to talk to staff. Staff should NEVER give out... (read in full...)
My mom breastfeeds my brother in public and I hate it!
Q. I hate it when my mom breastfeeds my baby brother in public. What should I do? She has done it several times. Why the hell would she wanna do it in public? She's crazy. It embarrasses the hell out of me. It's also disgusting. Is there a way I ca...
A. 26 June 2012: Honey, why do you think women have boobies? Really? To feed the young!!
If you are embarrassed tell her and walk away, give her some privacy. I seriously doubt she is whipping the boob out in front of everyone. Most women nurse fairly discrete... (read in full...)
Should I follow my dream?
Q. Hi all, this is not a relationship question, rather a life question. I have just graduated uni with an accounting degree (I did extremely well and was accepted into a big 4 accounting firm). The thing is, I love film. I figured it out in my last ...
A. 25 June 2012: I too have a degree in accounting ( I wanted to take art and history instead but my parents advised me to take something I could "fall" back on.)
I worked as a assistant accountant and then as an accountant and made great money. I loved the comp... (read in full...)
My boyfriend told me he feels that our relationship is a waste of time?
Q. Well yesterday me an my boyfriend was barely talking he send me an message an he takes forever to text back. So lastnight he finally told me we was sleeping,i told him i love him which he said it back. The last text he sent to me was text me in the ...
A. 25 June 2012: You are happy to have a guy to text. He isn't happy with "just" that. He wants the sex too.
I think you are doing the right thing in not giving in and having sex to try and "keep" him.
I too think you should try that break, but of a permanent k... (read in full...)
How to deal with my girlfriends sexual requests?
Q. How to deal with my girlfriend(lesbian) she needs oral sexual pleasure for no reason at midnights,i really care about her,but i don't know whether she gets horny or something,she gets aroused for while even reading novels at night i had advised her ...
A. 25 June 2012: Um lesbian or not MOST people in a relationship wants sexual gratification from their partner, specially if they are sexually attracted to their partner.
However, If you don't want to be woken up with a request for sex tell her.
Seems like sh... (read in full...)
My head is going in circles, is my wife cheating?
Q. hi im 54 and my wife is to , this is killing me we have sex once a week now and for some reason she wont let me suck on her nipples like i use to never real got that rough where it leave scab on the base of her breast where the nipple start to ...
A. 25 June 2012: I would simply ask her.
Not to scare you my mom developed a type of skin cancer that left her with patches of raw skin :(
Maybe she thinks you find it gross or she is too scared to go see her doctor?
Sucking and scraping should not leav... (read in full...)
Should I just give up on this relationship?
Q. My boyfriend and I recently split up over my jealousy issues over his relationships with his female friends. When we were together he told me he loved me and was only interested in me. We even talked about marriage and I moved in with him after only ...
A. 25 June 2012: Honey, STOP a second. LOOK at his actions, not his words. Obviously he is a charmer and rather convincing liar to still have you (and all his other females around).
He actions does speak louder and when you look a them, he doesn't seem very inv... (read in full...)
Am I reasonable for being upset over this?
Q. Ive been really annoyed with my boyfriend lately. We just started dating and our relationship is relatively new but yesterday I asked if he wanted to hang out later on in the day and he said sure do. It was around 6 o clock and i texted him and ...
A. 25 June 2012: I would not accept a maybe from him again. Next time he pulls a "maybe" on you, say :" no I need a yes or a no." It's not hard. Either he wants to see you or he rather spend time with his friends.
I also agree that you need to stop doing things f... (read in full...)
He's still on the dating site we met on, should I let it go for now or bring it up?
Q. I met a man on a dating site and we've been talking and seeing each other for about a month now. He told me that he cancelled his membership but I've been told by others that his profile is still up and that he still signs on. He tells me that he's ...
A. 25 June 2012: Are you two exclusive?
Since you two have only dated a month I would chill JUST a little. IF he is not seeing anyone else what is the problem?
I agree with AuntieEm - look at how the real relationship is going.
I don't think after a mont... (read in full...)
I found these email and now I can't shake the feeling that I should no longer trust him!
Q. my husband and i have a wonderful relationship but the one thing that bothers me is that i have found certain emails where hes told one woman that she was hot and another one where he states that hes horny too and cant open up the website and what ...
A. 25 June 2012: Were you married 2 years ago? or dating? Honestly, I would print them out, sit him down and ask for an explanation. I think he owes you one.
... (read in full...)
I allowed my g/f to have a guy on the side and now everything is all mixed up
Q. My fiance and i have been together 12yrs she told me stories all her lovers all had big endowed penises 10+ and i half that size well she dont relize how much she tells me how great it was and even tells aquaintances. I loved her very much that i ...
A. 25 June 2012: Well, seems like you handed her your balls too.
I think she told you fibs about all those 10inch dicks. To make you feel bad enough to let her do whatever she wanted.
Honey, it's time to take your balls back and stand up for yourself.
Can... (read in full...)
How do I let go of a sex only relationship of 4 years?
Q. hi I have been involved with this man for four years with no committment and he sees other women.There is no respet and the relationship is not going anywhere, just sex. How do I let go of the relationship without constantly going back....
A. 25 June 2012: Replace him with a good vibrator..
... (read in full...)
He 'doesn't know what to do,' now that his wife does not want a Divorce. What should I do about my Bf''s response to his wife's edict?
Q. My boyfriend's ex wife has said she still loves him and doesn't want a divorce. We have been together for 18 months and are very much in love but now he said he 'doesn't know what to do.' He was married for 30 years and still feels guilty about hi...
A. 25 June 2012: That is what can happen what dating a married man. When push comes to shove, they (the married ones) usually pick their family and the memories, history and shared love over a "lover".
All of a sudden they realize what they are about to lose.. T... (read in full...)
Is my best friend racist? Or am I just being over-sensitive?
Q. Ok so my best friend is Caucasian, and I am African American. I totally understand why she would want to date a white guy, because it is something that I understand the agreements and disagreements of that topic being offensive. But we live in a ...
A. 25 June 2012: Honestly, she sounds insensitive and ignorant, no more. Which in itself is a little sad.
As for her statement:" I would never date a black guy" just means that her preference is towards "whites", which honestly isn't odd if she lives in a place th... (read in full...)
My husband left me because he thinks I cheated, but I found texts from a man to my husband saying 'I love you' and suspicious receipts for restaurants.....what is going on?
Q. My marine husband of 4 years who by the way was abusive verbally and accused me of cheating when he got back from Iraq. was always paranoid. He said we had orders back home where i grew up. 1 day after closing he said he got orders changed to go to ...
A. 25 June 2012: Why not file for divorce? Seems like the marriage is complete over from his side of things. Why subject yourself to any more of this?
Why are you not getting any money from him? Doesn't he get housing benefits and so forth? If you aren't getting ... (read in full...)
My fiance's ex wife got to sit with his family at the funeral, and wore her wedding ring that day! Am I right to be hurt by this?
Q. I don't know what to think of this and would like opinions. My fiance's father died in Jan. Both his ex-wife and I attended the funeral and we were both civil. I was a little hurt by the fact that his ex deposited herself squarely in the front row ...
A. 25 June 2012: I have to agree with the majority of the aunties. She had EVERY right to be there. They were married for 27 years and I'm BETTING that no matter how rotten the divorce was they had some really good years together as well.
Why she still had her ... (read in full...)
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