My ex now flirts with me and claims he married his new wife for the wrong reasons
Q. im 23 years old and a single mom. my sons father and i didnt work out because we had a lot of resentment towards each other during the pregnancy. now that we have gone through court and its been a few years for us to mature some we realize the mist...
A. 31 August 2012: Honestly I would cut the contact with him to a minimum. Since you share a child that would be the ONLY topic I would talk to him about.
You know you two didn't work out and what he is doing now is sabotaging his OWN marriage and keeping you from... (read in full...)
How can I handle my abusive toxic Ex? Makes out he cares to my mother. Then abusive tirade at me,
Q. My ex bf of nine months dumped me in a text message after I had a nervous breakdown. After the breakup we kept having arguments and he blocked me from phones, emails and facebook. I then went on to have an early miscarriage. I didn't know I was pr...
A. 31 August 2012: You need to have NO contact WHAT SO EVER with this guy.
And even if you gave him the number of your doctor, it's privileged information and your doctor can't SHARE it.
He sounds like a total tool, honey.
Wake up and drop him like it's hot!... (read in full...)
Girlfriend's cheating ex is coming over to stay with her and I'm not cool with it!
Q. Please help?! I met this girl a few months ago on a dating website. Anyway I totally fell for her. I'm in love with her. She totally blew me away. However there has been a few situations. Please let me explain. I have on 3 separate occasions c...
A. 31 August 2012: I don't really think you are overrating either.
I think that it's nice she is being honest about it being her EX, she could have lied. But really that is the only positive thing I see.
Can you imagine dating her seriously, and this guy keep po... (read in full...)
Long distance relationship, money and losing interest
Q. I'm 19 in a relationship with a 17 year old for just over a month. I know its not long, but she has gotten really serious very fast so I feel like I've accidentally made a larger commitment than I had hoped. I've met her whole family (extended and ...
A. 31 August 2012: You are damned if you do and damned if you don't. That is the facts of a break up.
I don't really see you expressing a whole lot of love/care for this girl, so maybe breaking up is not a bad idea, it's ONLY been a month and you are already ... (read in full...)
My friend is in love with my boyfriend, but she doesn't know we're dating
Q. I have being dating my coworker for 3 months. we've told no one in order to avoid possible problems related to office romance etc. Everything works out fine, except that my best work mate is in love with my boyfriend. She'll always ask him to hang ...
A. 31 August 2012:
Does this friend of yours work with the two of you? If she doesn't I can't see why she can't know. If she does work with you two, do you think you can trust her with the knowledge?
I think your BF might be a little oblivious to how she feels. S... (read in full...)
My guy friend hasn't been responding to my text messages
Q. My best friend (who is a guy) lives in a diffrent city than I do. We used to text and Skype regularly for hours at a time. But now he's not texting back and he's ignoring my Skype calls. The other day he texted me back, saying "sorry can't ta...
A. 31 August 2012: Could it be that his GF isn't to happy with him chatting/texting another girl? And he is ignoring you to please her?
I think it's pretty common that people "drop off" the planet (as far as talking/hanging out with friends when they start a new re... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my mom want me to sleep in the nude?
Q. Dear Agony Aunts, I'm a 14 year old girl. I like to sleep in the nude but my mom doesn't want me to. She never gives me a reason, she just objects. I started sleeping naked over the summer when it's super comfortable. What would she find wrong o...
A. 31 August 2012: I think it's just about modesty and maybe she feels it's being too vulnerable being naked. I say sleep in the nude, but have a night gown or t-shirt panties for when you get up and about. If she can't accept that... Why not panties and a tank top? ... (read in full...)
This don't make sense. How is it possible that he contracted chlamydia if we have both been faithful?
Q. i have been in a four year relationship, i have had many pap smear done and been tested for all std's, my man just went to the health department and got tested, and they told him he would have to come back in a couple of days to know the results, ...
A. 31 August 2012: You can have chlamydia for a long time without knowing it. When was his last STD check?
... (read in full...)
Is my husband controlling? Now the children are copying his style of communicating too.
Q. Is my husband controlling? We have been married for 21 years and he always wants to know where I am and what I am doing, even what time i will be home. I never go anywhere without one of the kids! He talks to me like i am a child, telling me what...
A. 31 August 2012: I think he is taking you for granted and he is being rude and disrespectful. However, you do know the saying, YOU are in charge of how people treat you? If you don't ALLOW disrespect you won't GET disrespect.
Nip the kids behavior in the bud. And... (read in full...)
B/f and I have been into swinging and I HATE it!
Q. About 4 - 5 years ago, me and my boyfriend of 6 years decided to finally try swinging after playing around with the idea for a while. I was scared out of my mind that I was actually going to go through with it, but chalked it up to newbie nerves. ...
A. 31 August 2012: You have tried and tried and you don't like it. So STOP doing it.
I understand that you are willing to do almost anything to make the relationship work, but I must say that I honestly think something was WAY broke for you two to think Swinging... (read in full...)
How do I get closure and stop the wrestling of unanswered questions in my mind
Q. my bf of almost two years has been cheating on me and i just recently found out. i only give one strike and he blew it out the park.. I'm confused. i don't know if i should be sad or angry. i just need closure .. i doubt he'll tell the truth when i ...
A. 30 August 2012: Closure is overrated. In the sense that you never REALLY truly get closure, sometimes you just get to a point where it doesn't make such a big impact on you and your emotions.
He cheated. So if you feel sad, angry, confusion or whatever goes thr... (read in full...)
Some days I am very attracted to him, other days I find I don’t want to look at him.
Q. Been seeing a lovely guy for one month. Friends for two months prior Before I went out with him I worked with him briefly and was attracted to him on and off. some days I really had a crush on him, other days I found him not very attractive at al...
A. 30 August 2012: Are you letting your friends attitude influence you maybe?
We like what we like. Obviously there are plenty of of things about him that attracts you and makes you happy to be with and around him. As for the hygiene.. ekk. Maybe start dragging... (read in full...)
Text Hi I suffer from an obsessive compulsive disorder which has begun to strain my relationship..
Q. Hi I suffer from an obsessive compulsive disorder which has begun to strain my relationship.. I don't like anyone using my bathroom,I'm very particular about that,and yesterday my boyfriend used it and we go into a huge fight,I can't share stuff li...
A. 30 August 2012: Yoga ( I kid you not) and meditation can help too. However it can also create new rituals.
As for your BF, some people don't understand OCD, so I would, sit him down and explain it (again , I'm sure you already have).
Good luck.... (read in full...)
Our anniversary is on a Thursday but he wants to go out on Saturday. Why?
Q. it's me and my boyfriends 1 year anniversary next month. I mentioned it and he said he'd already planned to take me to a certain restaurant I like so I'm happy that he's put some thought into it. our anniversary falls on a Thursday but he wants to ...
A. 30 August 2012: Eh.. It makes sense to do it Saturday.. Not a work night and pay day.
Doesn't mean you can't get a card/flowers what not on the actual date.
... (read in full...)
Did I make the right choice by telling him to get rid of his female friend?
Q. So about a year ago, my boyfriend of 3 years and I got into a right about a female friend he's had for about two more years than he's known me (we've known each other for 7years). It might also be a good idea to add that we also dated for two years ...
A. 29 August 2012: Personally, I don't believe in telling my partner who he can talk to and whom he can be friends with.
BUT with her having all these feelings towards him, I think it makes what they have less of a friendship and more of a "drama waiting to happen" ... (read in full...)
Text Hi I suffer from an obsessive compulsive disorder which has begun to strain my relationship..
Q. Hi I suffer from an obsessive compulsive disorder which has begun to strain my relationship.. I don't like anyone using my bathroom,I'm very particular about that,and yesterday my boyfriend used it and we go into a huge fight,I can't share stuff li...
A. 29 August 2012: The things you mention are not that severe. Trust me on that.
I have OCD and it used to be really bad. Hand washing constantly, counting and obsessive uncontrolled fears if things were uneven. I carry cutlery in my purse for when we eat out. Sam... (read in full...)
Is it fair of him to ask me to find another home for my cat??
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together 8 months, I'm 25 he's 27. Things have moved pretty quickly, but we are very happy and talk about the future openingly, and we are definitely in love. We currently live separately, but have talking about getting ...
A. 29 August 2012: I think he can ASK and you can refuse.
And I can only imagine the resentments I would have if anyone ever asked that of me. I'm not going to re-home a pet, nor any of my other kids.
My first BF was allergic, I had a cat, he took medication ... (read in full...)
Are there any real benefits to casual sex?
Q. My first sexual experience was a FWB. I was 13, she was much older and, to my recollection, it was a very awkward, uncomfortable situation. It bothered me a lot and perhaps has made me biased against them. When I go back through my memory, the ...
A. 29 August 2012: I think it's OK to ask your potential partners about their sexual history, however, I think it's always good to remember that some people have a past that may not be as "shiny" as your, some learn the hard way so to speak, from making mistakes ... (read in full...)
I thought things were going well, I was beginning to like him. What happened?
Q. Okay so, I met this guy at a friend’s place say around two weeks ago. We hit off immediately. We spoke a lot and were inseparable till the end of the gathering. It was a completely new experience for me. He lives in a different city by the way so he ...
A. 28 August 2012: It sounds rather odd.
If you want to know though, call him. Ask him what's up.
Linking you a love-song doesn't make you an instant mindreader so if he got butt hurt that you didn't get some "magic" point to the song, I don't know what to say... (read in full...)
Husband thinks swinging can save our marriage
Q. I split up from my husband about three years ago, as he was cold, disinterested in me or our son, and refused to give me any housekeeping. I started a very romantic affair with a guy, got myself a rented house where my son and I were happy. My new ...
A. 28 August 2012: Swinging might spice up HIS sex life, I don't think it will save your marriage though. Honestly, it sounds to me like he wants to play around.
You need to (let me put it bluntly) Shit or get off the pot. You either want to be with your husband ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to hate this girl, after what she did to me???
Q. Hi. I had a friend that i favoured so much that later on ive just found out that she wasnt a true friend, she was bad mouthing me around, got me into fighting with my other friends and accusing me of things ive never done, making them believe her ...
A. 28 August 2012: Honey, don't waste your time and emotions on her and hating her. It won't make a difference for her, she will continue to be who she is and act like she always did.
Accept that you made an error in judgement when becoming friend with her and then... (read in full...)
Did his one sentence reply mean leave me alone?
Q. Hello basically i'm 21 now finished uni. Before, i was certain that my lecturer was trying it on with me more so towards the end. He has always been like my shining white knight, helped me a lot. I emailed him few days ago first time we have spo...
A. 28 August 2012: I think since school just started up, it was a quick reply not necessarily snarky.
Maybe he wanted to send you a short message and didn't have time for a longer one?
Could be he is just being polite.
... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is a cheapskate with me but can spend the money on himself. I'm sick of it.
Q. My boyfriend is so, so cheap with me. Scenario: We don't usually ever go out to eat anymore. If we do, I'm the one who pays (he insists that I do) because he buys food for his apartment and shares it with me when I come over (even though he's rea...
A. 28 August 2012: He tells you WHAT you can order and YOU are paying? Why on Earth do you allow this?
And I agree, this guy is NOT a keeper. He is a USER.... (read in full...)
Was I wrong for telling a man that my b/f had a small penis?
Q. i was so hurt when my boyfriend friday and said sone pretty hurtful things so i went on a dating site as i was angry and so lonely and i went on it and said about my boyfriend willy becausr i was so angry and he said my kids were mistakes am i in ...
A. 28 August 2012: There is so much "wrong doing" in your post I don't even know where to begin.
Yes, you don't go around telling random dudes on DATING websites that your BF has a small penis, why on EARTH would you do that?
Yes, your BF is an total ASS for sa... (read in full...)
My ex told his sister that he would date me. How do I get it across that there's no chance for us again?
Q. So here it goes.. My ex and I have not spoken much at all since I broke up with him last December. We had a roller coaster relationship, on again off again for almost 2 years. He was my first boyfriend. I did everything for him, I was the only ...
A. 28 August 2012: He can ASK to date you all he wants all YOU have to do is say, no.
Just because the sister is your good friend doesn't mean you have to give him another chance. I would be honest with her and tell her you just don't see the 2 of you together... (read in full...)
Any pointers on how to respond to mothers on menopause?
Q. My mom has had menopause for two years now, and it is getting progressively worse. She is very sensitive to medicine, so hormones are out of the question. Problem is that she treats me like trash, she starts nagging me about everything and a...
A. 28 August 2012: It doesn't sounds like "normal" menopause. Something else is up.
I think Abella put forth a lot of great info and ideas, and I'm sorry you are dealing with this.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is upset at the priority I give my career
Q. I'm a final year medical student,and my life just gets crazier each day..but I'm to be done with school coming december when I have my finals.. I don't go out,nor drink or smoke I meet my my friends very rarely and they always complain I don't gi...
A. 28 August 2012: I think focusing on your career is great. It will get you where you want to be in life.
However, do not neglect friends and your BF.
Schedule date nights with your BF and keep them (if possible) and schedule a night out with friends here and... (read in full...)
Why would this guy flirt with me and then tell my husband things bad about me?
Q. Hey everyone, I have had a huge crush on the guy next door for the past year. A day doesn't pass that I don't think about him. I know he has the same feelings for me too. The thing is we both had someone in our lives before living with. But I broke ...
A. 28 August 2012: That neighbor doesn't give a rats behind about you. He doesn't like you AT ALL. JUST look at his actions.
Some guys will flirt with anything with a pulse, as long as the other person flirts back. It makes them feel like they are "all that and a ba... (read in full...)
Are there any real benefits to casual sex?
Q. My first sexual experience was a FWB. I was 13, she was much older and, to my recollection, it was a very awkward, uncomfortable situation. It bothered me a lot and perhaps has made me biased against them. When I go back through my memory, the ...
A. 28 August 2012: I have never done casual sex. I never saw the point of it. For me, at least, sex is more then just physical.
To me it seems like we are having a "second coming" of the sexual revolution of the 1960. Except now it's all about me, me, me and inst... (read in full...)
Am I the best my older b/f can get? He makes me feel really bad!
Q. Help! I can't figure out what to do. I'm a beautiful, fit, extremely intelligent young woman with a great sense of humor and acceptance. I get along great with almost anyone. Most men I meet develop crushes on me, and a lot of women at work ar...
A. 28 August 2012: Sounds to me like he is over all very insecure and honestly jealous of you. That is why he is trying to chop you down a peg or 5.
Honey, he says the things he says out of spite. He KNOWS he's got a gorgeous GF, who is also very social and successf... (read in full...)
My Friend Is Obsessed with Copying everything I do!
Q. i feel like my best friend is envious of me. she copies everything i do. for example i decided to redo my room i painted it and got some new decorations for my room. she goes and paints her room and puts the exact same decoration. everything i have ...
A. 28 August 2012: End the friendship, sounds like she is incapable of being a real friend and honestly, have as much personality as a paper bag (which is why she copies you).... (read in full...)
Week after we broke up she was sexually active with a new guy. What does this say about how she cares about me?
Q. My girlfriend and I share a child together, and had plans on becoming married. Later in our relationship I cheated on her by conversing with other females when things weren't going good between us. When we got into an argument and I pushed her and ...
A. 28 August 2012: I would assume it means she is working on getting over you.
It has nothing to do with how she felt about your relationship.
She sought comfort with a friend, his kind of comfort was sex and she took it.
I think YOU should worry more about ... (read in full...)
How can I act, behave, appear, present and seem as if I am a virgin for the man I love who I am about to marry?
Q. i used to have sex with my two boyfriends in the past but i stopped with all this stuff from last four months as i got engaged to a guy who loves me a lot and treats me like a princess. We are going to get married soon but he doesn't know my past ...
A. 28 August 2012: I think building a marriage on a lie is a bad thing ALWAYS, even if it's about faking being a virgin.
What you going to do when the truth comes out? You know... the truth has a way of doing that.
And you can't magically wave a want and make... (read in full...)
My husband lied about his ex for THREE years
Q. I've know my husband all my life. We reconnected about three years ago and have been married for six months. We've had problems in the past about his ex. They were together for seven years but they don't have any children and they weren't married. ...
A. 28 August 2012: I see a couple of red flags here.
1. first off he assumes you are stupid. I mean first it's a family friend with the SAME name, then a random coworker. I would honestly be insulted by that.
2. He lies, and then lies some more to cover it up. ... (read in full...)
I crave dominance, I'm naturally submissive and want to explore the BDSM scene
Q. Hi, I'm 18 years old and have been in a relationship for just under a year and a half. I love my boyfriend, and we've been through a lot as a couple - I've suffered from bulimia and self harm, and we've also had to deal with a lot of issues ...
A. 27 August 2012: If you two have been through hall that you NEED to be able to talk about sex and your sexual fantasies.
Just talk.
(and I agree with anon male I truly hope it has nothing to do with the lame book series 50 shades - the "sex" has nothing to d... (read in full...)
He wants me to change my title from Mrs to Ms. Should I, and how do I do it?
Q. My husband is very keen and really wants me to change my title from Mrs. to Ms. He says it is much more sexy. What do others think about this, as I am fairly OK with it, but not totally sure. How would I go about effecting this change? ...
A. 27 August 2012: Say what?
Why would MS (as in unwed/old maid) be more sexy then Mrs *hislastname*? lol that just sounds weird.
Anyhow the Mrs/Ms is not a "official" legal title. You just use Ms from now on instead of Mrs.
I know here in the South the "... (read in full...)
Why is my ex telling me when he has days off?
Q. I have contact with an ex after a few years, talk on a regular basis. He dumped me!! my question is, why is he now giving me his work schedule, you know, telling me his days off? I never asked for this and we haven't talked about meeting up, so what ...
A. 27 August 2012: Seems like he likes you keep you in his life and keep you informed. It would be for several reasons,
1. to prevent you from moving on to someone else
2. to rekindle something
3. to talk about something.
... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend cheap or am I being unreasonable?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 7 months now - and i think reality is really just hitting I used to gush about how perfect he is in every way – and I think the honeymoon is now over. One of my issues that I want to ask about, is regarding ...
A. 27 August 2012: Time to sit down and make a budget, stop "talking" about how much each contribute and figure out the costs and split it in half (though I would say his car/car insurance/gas are his bill) you cell phone is yours, his cell phone is his.
Food ... (read in full...)
I got him off drugs, got him a job and now he leaves me!
Q. Where do I begin,my life's just been a roller coaster ride..when I was 15 I started seeing this guy from my class and we dated all through secondary and high school and rolled into the same university for further studies in new jersey..he was basket ...
A. 27 August 2012: How do you get over it? By accepting that this guy wasn't ready.
He ought to be grateful that you stood by him through all that he went through, but I think him leaving you is him trying to cut off his past.
You can't make a person want to b... (read in full...)
Taking care of my boyfriend's sick mother and he doesn't appreciate it
Q. My boyfriend's mother who lived in new jersey fell really sick,she fell of the stairs,broke her back literally couldn't move,nor eat or go to the toilet..my boyfriend who was in spain at the time could not make it to her at the earlierst so I ...
A. 26 August 2012: I don't think you are stupid for wanting to help, to be there for an elderly person who can't help herself, but it's come to a point where you are taken for granted and basically being USED and abused.
Being a good person is not somethin... (read in full...)
What should I have said?
Q. There is a new guy at my job and at first I thought he was nice, but then he spent about 30 minutes trying to convince me that my 3 year relationship is a lie and that it'll end anyway. He has cheated before and is a hardcore clubbing junkie. He's ...
A. 26 August 2012: I would ignore that guy. Honestly I think he was hoping you could be a booty call. That is why he spend 30 minutes trying to convince you that your relationship is bogus, he OBVIOUSLY doesn't really know you.. or your BF.
Ignore him.
If y... (read in full...)
Taking care of my boyfriend's sick mother and he doesn't appreciate it
Q. My boyfriend's mother who lived in new jersey fell really sick,she fell of the stairs,broke her back literally couldn't move,nor eat or go to the toilet..my boyfriend who was in spain at the time could not make it to her at the earlierst so I ...
A. 26 August 2012: Wow, sorry honey, I would WALK away and HE can take care of HIS mother.. I would help out best as I could too, but if SHE is complaining and he gets pissy, it's time for HIM to see what it takes to take care of her. Sounds like you.... need a break ... (read in full...)
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