My ex is threatening that he would post naked pics of mine online
Q. Hi i'm 29 years old and just broke up with my 31 year old boyfriend . He was always putting me down telling me I wasen't good enough that all his ex girlfriends were smarter had good jobs and were prettier. He wouldn't even let me meet his kids said ...
A. 6 October 2012: Block and delete him from your FB and the rest of your life. Block his number.
IF he puts the pictures up you CAN contact Facebook and they CAN take the pictures down. Also if he's hacked your FB more then once, you can contact FB and see if T... (read in full...)
Wife touched friend inappropriately while drunk. Should I be upset?
Q. Should I be concerned? Two weeks ago we were at a friends house. My wife had been out boating and drinking during the day while I was working. That evening we went to our friend's house and joined 3 other couples for evening cocktails by...
A. 5 October 2012: ********* At first she said she did't remember doing it - then said she was drunk and meant nothing by it.****
Drunk or not - it was INAPPROPRIATE. I think the reason she lashed out at you, blaming YOU for not trusting her was the only "defense... (read in full...)
Husband wasn't happy when I was heavier and now that I'm think he's STILL not happy!
Q. I'm at my wits end right now. A few years ago, my husband teased me relentlessly about my weight. At first it was funny and cute and I thought that as long as he still wanted me ,there really wasn't a problem. Then his comments regarding my wai...
A. 5 October 2012: Are YOU happy with how you look? Then stay that way. Keep being fit and happy.
It wasn't your weight he was unhappy about, before or now. It was something within himself.
I'm guessing that he felt like he had the "upper hand" when you were he... (read in full...)
How to deal with a guy who is unsure of how to move the relationship forward
Q. Is it ok for a guy you are trying to get back with to tell you things like "If we end back together, two months before the wedding he wants to be sure he impregnated you" of even use "If" in the context of serious conversation about our ...
A. 5 October 2012: What was it that made you break up in the first place?
Was it something that actually CAN be fixed and who should fix it.
I have to say that if a guy "if's" a lot about it then he isn't sure. To me that seems like he is willing to get back toge... (read in full...)
Unprotected sex - how safe is it?
Q. I've been having sex with my boyfriend for a while now. During this time I've been paying close attention to my monthly cycle and we avoided having sex during the danger-zone (even with protection, I didn't want to risk it). I feel now that I know ...
A. 5 October 2012: I think it's (pardon for being blunt)STUPID to NOT use protection if you do NOT want to become pregnant.
It's not like it's that hard to get condoms and/or get on the pill.
You body is not a machine so therefor there are always a chance that yo... (read in full...)
Could I have Vulvar Vestibulitis? Does anyone else know what this can be?
Q. Ever since I first had sex nearly four years ago, I have had a burning pain at the entrance of the vagina during sex and have sometimes had to ask my boyfriend to stop. I have even had pain inserting tampons sometimes. I was on the combined pil...
A. 5 October 2012: If he has thrush (which really isn't a STD but transmitted sexually too) you can get a yeast infection over and over - passing it back and forth.
And I can only go by what you write. Which is why I said unprotected sex. ... (read in full...)
My fiancé wants us to watch "barely legal" porn while having sex. He says we can learn something from it. Does this sound right to you?
Q. My fiance told me that we may "learn something" from watching porn together in bed before and during sex. The porn he has always watches though is Barely Legal porn tapes of very young women and men just out of high school. To me that is not "lea...
A. 5 October 2012: I think you already know the answer to this.
I think at times couples who want to spice up their sex life will try new things, but............ I don't think it's smart or healthy to do it JUST to please the other person. SEX should be SHARED e... (read in full...)
Is there any way to trust my boyfriend again?
Q. Is there any way to trust my boyfriend again? After a gut feeling that something wasn't right, I have found on two separate occasions that he has been messaging other girls inappropriately. the messages were SO hurtful. I confronted him and he wants ...
A. 5 October 2012: For me personally, I couldn't allow this in a relationship and wouldn't continue it if it did happen.
I think he likes to have you around, but I think a guy who can "dismiss" what he did as being "harmless flirting" doesn't really respect you. It ... (read in full...)
Could I have Vulvar Vestibulitis? Does anyone else know what this can be?
Q. Ever since I first had sex nearly four years ago, I have had a burning pain at the entrance of the vagina during sex and have sometimes had to ask my boyfriend to stop. I have even had pain inserting tampons sometimes. I was on the combined pil...
A. 5 October 2012: It's not so much the painful sex I would worry about but the a burning pain at the entrance of the vagina and that it looked and it looked red Raw, to quote you.
And I said unprotected because I assume when you said oral he had his mouth on your ... (read in full...)
Could I have Vulvar Vestibulitis? Does anyone else know what this can be?
Q. Ever since I first had sex nearly four years ago, I have had a burning pain at the entrance of the vagina during sex and have sometimes had to ask my boyfriend to stop. I have even had pain inserting tampons sometimes. I was on the combined pil...
A. 5 October 2012: Why isn't your first thought to get checked out by a gynecologist? They know EXACTLY what they are looking at and how to (hopefully) fix it. 4 YEARS? And no gyno visit?
Googling might give you an idea, but you can not leave your health to random g... (read in full...)
My man caught me hugging another man. Does anyone think my man will forgive me and come back to me?
Q. I have been in a relationship for 6 years with my man. The other night we were having a couple drinks and he went to bed and his friend came over. As i was talking with his friend he got all touchy feely and then got caught hugging up on me by ...
A. 5 October 2012: All that drama over a hug?
What else is there to this story?... (read in full...)
Married man left his wife for me, but then gave it another go with her without telling me! Was I used?
Q. I became friendly with a married man i met on holiday, we started texting when we got back and ended up teting all day and speaking on the phone when we could. He said he has always been unhappy in his marriage and that he never was sure about ...
A. 5 October 2012: Oh he REALLY used you. He NEVER really ended it with his wife - I am willing to bet.
He played you.
So what can you take from this? STAY away from married men. It RARELY ends with a "happy ending" for the OW (other woman - you).
You sho... (read in full...)
My ex cheated on me, I forgave him but we are not back together. Now some other woman says I'm an idiot for forgiving him, I don't understand why she thinks this!
Q. Hello, this is a general question to anyone, male or female. My ex boyfriend of a year cheated on me. And someone recently told me that I was an idiot and naive for having forgiven him. The thing is, he and I are not back together, neither do I wan...
A. 5 October 2012: I don't think you are an idiot at all. You chose to put the hurt behind you and forgive him (and yourself).
But you aren't dating him any more, so obviously you aren't THAT naive as the woman thinks you are.
Honestly, I would bother with that... (read in full...)
Breast feeding with breast implants?
Q. just wondering with women who have had breast implants did any of you have a child afterwards? and did it change your breast implant could you breast feed. i have a daughter already and gotten breast implants i want another child and just wonderin...
A. 5 October 2012: It all depends on how your implants were done from what I have heard - I would talk to plastic surgeon who is putting the implants in.
This article might give you more info:
http://www.babyce... (read in full...)
Is this cheating? My boyfriend went out with his friends and he had a private nude lap dance provided for his enjoyment.
Q. I've never posted on anything like this before but I'm really not sure what to do. A few weeks my boyfriend went out with his friends just for a night on the town with the boys. At beginning of the night he and his friends went to a strip club ...
A. 4 October 2012: First of all a NUDE lap-dance? what kind of skanky club is that?
Secondly, I find it to be within the realm of totally inappropriate behavior but not necessarily cheating.
Did the two of you discuss prior to him going out how you BOTH felt ab... (read in full...)
How do I approach the trainer at my gym without looking desperate?
Q. How do I approach him? Will I look desperate if I do? This guy (trainer) at my gym is so cute. He's friendly to everyone and talks to everyone but me:(!! He's always looking at me. He's always in a place where I can see him and he c...
A. 4 October 2012: I'm with Ciar and YouWish - don't be cheesy.
Start out by saying hi, how are you? when you see him at the gym and chat a little here and there. See if he takes an interest or not.
If he doesn't...
You MIGHT want to consider that the guy is... (read in full...)
I am financially supporting my boyfriend and it's getting to be too much. What should I do or try to resolve this?
Q. I've been a relationship with this guy for almost a year and, he does not have a job. When we first met, he was working at his dad's company but, he quit because, he wanted to branch out on his own. Well, since then he has not been actively loo...
A. 4 October 2012: You need to sit him down and explain that he NEEDS to help out financially.
How does he help provide for his two children? If he can't get hired easily but his father will employ him maybe he needs to reconsider working for his dad til he CAN find... (read in full...)
We broke up, but now she wants me back. Do I stand up to her? Usually she gets her own way.
Q. Hello Everybody! Okay, I have a situation. I finished with my girlfriend a couple of weeks ago because she was cheating. Please see my previous questions. (Had really good advice as well. Thank you to all!) Anyway she got in touch the ot...
A. 4 October 2012: Good for you.
Ending a relationship in way that doesn't give you regrets down the line is a good thing. Maybe you will give her food for thought and maybe she will learn that what SHE did isn't OK.
I hope you find a girl who treats you the w... (read in full...)
My younger brother seems to be cyber stalking girls, what do I do?
Q. Hello i dont know what to do with this. i was on my phone yesterday and my brother had used it earlier and gone on his facebook when i got it back it was still logged in and i know that he can be very immature with his friends so i looked at his ...
A. 4 October 2012: I'm with Ciar. I would talk to your parent and have THEM talk to him. This is NOT normal or APPROPRIATE behavior for a 12 year old.
I have a 12 year old girl and I would be mad if I found some 12 year old boy "talking" to her like that.
HE N... (read in full...)
How can I change my boyfriend's mind about my dogs and convince him they aren't vicious? He wants me to get rid of them!
Q. Help me please! My boyfriend wants me to get rid of my dogs! My dad is a police dog trainer, and ever since i was a kid i've been used to having big dogs. I live on my own and i have two grown rottweilers and just adopted a pitbull puppy. I have ...
A. 4 October 2012: I would never ever get rid of my pets over a dude.
... (read in full...)
How realistic is it for me to want to date only uncircumcised men?
Q. I know this may make me shallow, childish, immature, but it's how I feel: Three years ago I was engaged to a man from Europe. He was uncircumcised; it was not my first experience with an intact man. I loved it so much, and he was so gentle wi...
A. 4 October 2012: Being circumcised or not has nothing to do with how good a lover the guy is. (unfortunately)
Leaving baby boys intact is the "norm" in Europe. As there are no real benefits from circumcising.
You could "only" date "intact" guys but I think... (read in full...)
My serious LDR of two years is sinking. What would be a good classy way to break it off ?
Q. Hello everyone. My serious LDR of two years is sinking. What happened is that he suddenly changed his FB password after adding a girl he used to have a crush on... And lately we just been extremely distant so I went through my Facebook and dele...
A. 4 October 2012: Call him up and tell him you don't feel like it's working any more. That you wish him good luck and happiness.
Don't drag the conversation out. After that I would un-friend him and block him from your FB. That way neither of you are in each oth... (read in full...)
My cousin has a Gf. And he and I flirt a lot. I am still a virgin. Should I agree to sex with him?
Q. Hi guys! Hope you can help me. I am a shy type of girl but i do flirted with my first cousin. Its my 3rd time to meet him last january. He's from jersey,he lives there, he's d same guy i wrote here last 2010 http://www.dearcup...
A. 4 October 2012: You CAN back out if you WANT to. He can not decide that for you.
As for when he comes to visit have someone with you to the airport and DO NOT spend time alone with him.
I don't know what he thinks of you, but I do think the he is good at spott... (read in full...)
Should I take a risk and move to Sweden??
Q. I'm thinking about moving to Sweden for a couple of years to live or study...it's something that's been in my mind for about three years now. Even though i don't NEED to study further because i'm 26 and already have two degrees, i would just lik...
A. 4 October 2012: Sweden is a lovely place. But VERY different from the US. The mentality in Northern Europe is just VERY different. (not in a bad way, but it will take some time to adjust).
The thing is sometimes you just have to GO for it. It's not like you are ... (read in full...)
He's my ex and now he's married. So is he just looking for a booty call with me? Based on his actions?
Q. My ex dumped me a few years back. We were together a long time. It got really bad at the end. He ended up getting a restraining order against me because i would follow him, (not proud of that). Anyway, we bumped into each other last year. It was n...
A. 4 October 2012: I would honestly STOP talking to him. He wants YOU to call HIM, so he will look "innocent" if his wife checks up on him...
The fact that his wife checks his phone kinda shows she doesn't trust him.. doesn't it?
And if he dumped you WHY would yo... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has started holding my head and staring at me during sex. It's weird and makes me uncomfortable, how do I get him to stop?
Q. This is a bit embarrassing but... My boyfriend of four years has started doing something really strange when we have sex. He started doing that close to six months ago and I don't know why he started. When we are...in the act...he holds my head i...
A. 4 October 2012: You need to VOCALIZE that you DO NOT LIKE it. Tell him. And he he doesn't lay off holding you down then there will be no sex.
To me it seems to be about dominance.
I honestly think you BF been looking at too much porn.
... (read in full...)
Is his eye contact with other women a red flag?
Q. me and my friend were talking about how her new boyfriebd would be some where with her and she would catch him exchanging eye contact with women. she told me thats a red flag. so recently I have watched my long term boyfriends eyes (been to...
A. 4 October 2012: When someone talks to you do you look down at your feet or meet their eyes?
Most people will look the other person in the eyes. Same if you enter a room and look around, you might see people wearing a nice shirt or have a cool haircut, nice eye... (read in full...)
Is his eye contact with other women a red flag?
Q. me and my friend were talking about how her new boyfriebd would be some where with her and she would catch him exchanging eye contact with women. she told me thats a red flag. so recently I have watched my long term boyfriends eyes (been to...
A. 3 October 2012: I don't think so. I look people in the eyes (male and female) and it's NOT because I want to jump their bones.
Eye contact it pretty "normal".... (read in full...)
How can I get my girlfriend to show anger like a normal person?
Q. My girlfriend never gets mad. She just never gets impatient or annoyed or frazzled or frustrated. It's come to the point when I just want to instigate fights to get a reaction out of her. I push her, and push and push, but she nevers gets angry. W...
A. 3 October 2012: Stop being a douchy dude!
This is WHO she is and HOW she acts. I like her Zen attitude.
... (read in full...)
I always have to prompt b/f to wear a condom. Is this normal?
Q. Hi, Hope you can help. I have recently started a new relationship with a guy. Now I am not very sexually experienced but know we have to be careful, so am on the pill. Everytime we slept together I have had to prompt my boyfriend to wear a condom...
A. 3 October 2012: Just tell him that in the future you don not WANT to have sex without a condom. That it shouldn't be JUST your responsibility to try and prevent STD's and pregnancy.
No "glove" - no love.
And I would say most guys don't like the "hassle" of ... (read in full...)
Is he using me? We never date, just have sex in the woods!
Q. Iv been seeing this guy for 2 months now and we meet up once a week, he seems nice but he never takes me out on a proper date. We only meet up for sex or heavy petting. He doesn't book a room up, we do it in the woods, Im feeling a bit used. He does ...
A. 3 October 2012: Say what?
Why do you met up with him? Why do you answer his texts? His e-mails?
IF you feel used - STOP doing it.... (read in full...)
How do I tell this man that is bi-polar that I don't want a relationship with him?
Q. The guy I am seeing has bi-polar stage 6 and has Schizophrenia. He claims he is in a mexican gang as well, but he is as white as can be. He calls me his wife and is trying to get me pg. how do I tell him that I don't want a relationship with him? ...
A. 3 October 2012: Do you live with him? Or does he live with you?
I think the best you can do is get far far away from him.... (read in full...)
My husband contributes and so does my Mom. Is my boyfriend contributing enough to live most of the time in my home?
Q. I've been separated from my husband for over 2 years. I have a boyfriend and we have been dating for 2 years. I live in a house with my three sons and my Mother. My ex husband presently pays $3500 per month for the mortgage and taxes He also gi...
A. 3 October 2012: I can't say if it is "enough" as I don't know your expenses, but it looks like he is MORE then willing to contribute and doesn't just "live" of you.
... (read in full...)
I cheated on my workaholic wife -- now what?
Q. I have been married for 10 years and have two kids under the age of 10. My wife recently was made an executive at her fortune 200 firm and has not been home much since. She leaves for work around 7 AM and most evenings she gets home after 10 PM. ...
A. 3 October 2012: I think you are grasping at straws trying to excuse your cheating by blaming it on your wife and her work hours. And sorry, I think that is total bullshit.
If you are not happy you need to tell your wife. You need to figure out if you think yo... (read in full...)
This guy calls me a lesbian. He says he does it for a joke. What should I do?
Q. I have this friend who likes to joke around and call me a lesbian. I have asked a numbers of times not to call me a lesbian and he keeps saying, "oh lighten up i am only Joking". I have told him please stop it. he always says "I am Joking". Ye...
A. 3 October 2012: How old is he? 12? Why do you even spend time with this idiot?
... (read in full...)
My Boss is a farewell next week. We don't click socially and I am not part of her clique. Should I attend or not?
Q. My boss is leaving for 1 year next week.I dont work with her much but see her at shift change at times. We are similiar in age, but are VERY differerent, shes outgoing AND popular, esp amongst the 20 somethings at work. Im a quieter person, w...
A. 3 October 2012: I would go out of common decency. You don't have to pretend anything. I would say showing up is the RIGHT thing to do. You would like for people to do the same for you, right? Even if you weren't BEST BUDS?
You won't have to hug or shake her hand... (read in full...)
My cousin has a Gf. And he and I flirt a lot. I am still a virgin. Should I agree to sex with him?
Q. Hi guys! Hope you can help me. I am a shy type of girl but i do flirted with my first cousin. Its my 3rd time to meet him last january. He's from jersey,he lives there, he's d same guy i wrote here last 2010 http://www.dearcup...
A. 3 October 2012: He is taking FULL advantage of you being so naive and innocent - he doesn't LOVE you.... I just want to have sex with you and go back to his GF.
And honey, he is your FIRST cousin.. That just isn't right. There are plenty of other fish out ther... (read in full...)
How do I handle this? He only comes around when he wants sex!
Q. I am a heavy set woman that is very attractive and has had no problems finding ppl. But this one guy that I have been with only calls or comes around when he wants sex. How can I know if hes ashamed of me? Ive asked him over and over is he ashamed ...
A. 2 October 2012: I don' think it's about him being ashamed, I think he is just using you for sex... and you... let him.
... (read in full...)
Extreme guilt after faking a pregnancy
Q. This is really hard for me to write about. When I was 16 I faked a pregnancy with my boyfriend at the time. I definitely had some sort of issues, I was cutting myself at the time and extremely depressed, manipulative, and obsessive. H...
A. 2 October 2012: I think if you need to tell anyone you need to tell your parents. As for your friends and the BF. I don't think you absolutely have to tell them, it would be to unload your guilt, not to help them. I think it's a different thing with your Dad.
... (read in full...)
I messaged him on social media. I'm sure it's him, but he has not replied. Why would he ignore me?
Q. I'm just approaching 50,i've just seen a guy i knew over 32 years ago on a well known social networking site,i know its him,from the things he has said in a group on there,he's changed his surname though. I contacted him but he wont acknowle...
A. 2 October 2012: I'd guess that:
1. It's not really him
2. It is him, but he has not clue who you are
3. He isn't interested.
So either way you threw the ball in his court, nothing else really you can do.... (read in full...)
I don't know how to feel about dating an army man. Should I?
Q. I went out with some girlfriends to a bar a lot of army guys frequent; my friends really wanted to know what it was like to be with (i.e. sleep with) a military man. i wasn't so much into it because they kind of creep me out. but because i know my ...
A. 2 October 2012: Being an ARMY wife of 14 years your post kind of cracked me up. Army guys are no "wilder" then you average guy - though I have know some crazy Scouts and SF, but that is a whole other story.
I have to say you seem to have a odd notion of what it ... (read in full...)
We broke up, but now she wants me back. Do I stand up to her? Usually she gets her own way.
Q. Hello Everybody! Okay, I have a situation. I finished with my girlfriend a couple of weeks ago because she was cheating. Please see my previous questions. (Had really good advice as well. Thank you to all!) Anyway she got in touch the ot...
A. 1 October 2012: I'm with SVC - Be a man. Call and and tell her she isn't worth your time, that you have no interest in getting back together and that you do not wish to talk/see her again - tell her to have a nice life. After that you BLOCK her number and delete ... (read in full...)
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