A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am a heavy set woman that is very attractive and has had no problems finding ppl. But this one guy that I have been with only calls or comes around when he wants sex. How can I know if hes ashamed of me? Ive asked him over and over is he ashamed and Y when ppl ask him are we together he lyes and says NO. I need to know what to do and how to handle the situation Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (2 October 2012):
 I don' think it's about him being ashamed, I think he is just using you for sex... and you... let him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks everyone for their advice
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2012): He might not be ashamed of you, but he doesn't sound interested in a relationship either, so maybe he doesn't want people to think he's in a relationship with you. It seems he's only using you for sex, and if that's the case, you should find somebody better than him.
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A
male
reader, kenny  + ♥, writes (1 October 2012):
 Like the advice the other aunts have given you, the best option would be to stop seeing this guy, he is obviously just using you for sex and does not want any thing else. There are plenty of good guys out there that would treat you right, and give you the love and respect that you so rightly deserve.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (1 October 2012):
 This is a no brainer.
He's USING you. That is very clear. If you want a genuine boyfriend, I would recommend you get rid of him, pronto.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (1 October 2012):
 I have a quick question...the place where you live, do you have a functioning door?
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (1 October 2012):
 I am with SoVery on this one.
You are trying to evoke an emotional response from a man who is just using you for sex. You are hoping he will fall in love with you or start treating you like a girlfriend...that isn't going to happen my dear because he has gotten all he wants from you and thats to f**k and run.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (1 October 2012):
 it's easy.. .stop seeing him.
he only comes around for sex... next time he asks for sex say no....
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A
female
reader, freeflyingphoenix +, writes (1 October 2012):
It could be that he doesn't think he's lying as he may believe it is simply a casual fling rather than a relationship. Have you made it clear that you want more? You need to stop allowing him to only come round for sex. What are you like together afterwards? Do you sit and chat for a while or does he just leave? Perhaps, you could try a new tatic. Next time he comes round tell him you want to talk rather than have sex. It could be that he is also yearning for more but thinks you don't, or it could be that he enjoys the easy life and doesn't realise you believe you're in a relationship. You will soon see what you mean to him. You need to make it very clear to him were you stand and see how he feels. If he isn't interested in more then it may be in your best interest to end this and look elsewhere. Remember, size isn't everything, it is possible to find the real thing if you are up front and honest about your needs. When you find real love, be it with this man or someone else, you'll find that he loves you for you. Yes, he may want you to lose weight for health reasons but that's all, if he loves you he'll never ask you to lose weight for any other reason.
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A
female
reader, Agneta  +, writes (1 October 2012):
 I agree with the others that it really doesn't seem like this guy agrees with you that you two are a couple. Have you asked him if he sees you as his girlfriend (like a proper one) and he says yes then? I am sorry but this guy might not be the right one for you. If I were you, I would withdraw my attractive body from him and save it for somebody else who will really appreciate you. The full you, body, soul, mind and all. Sit down with yourself and write down what it is you really want in a man and from a relationship (be honest :)) so that you have something solid to navigate from during upcoming dates. Don't waste your time.
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A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (1 October 2012):
Based on all that you have said, it would imply that he only sees you as an object for sex. I assume that you would like some form of relationship with him, so I would ask him about if I were you. I also assume that you give him sex when he calls. You shouldn't do this with someone you are not in a relationship with.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (1 October 2012):
 It may have nothing to do at all with your weight.
If he only comes around for sex, - then you are just fuck buddies, or FWBs, not dating or in a relationship.
So when people ask him are you together- he may be saying "no" because he does not see what you are doing as " being together " ( not many men would ).
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