Am I being unreasonable feeling unwanted?
Q. i have been living with my boyfriend for 4 months i thought i'd feel closer to him but i feel even more so like i am second best to his friends/activities. He goes out every friday, watches football every other saturday and plays alot of golf - we ...
A. 27 August 2013: It's good that your man cares and took to heart what yo u said to him.
I have been though depression too and yes, some medications seem to only numb you. And that is not really ideal. But I think you joining a gym will help ( it did for me) work... (read in full...)
Am I being unreasonable feeling unwanted?
Q. i have been living with my boyfriend for 4 months i thought i'd feel closer to him but i feel even more so like i am second best to his friends/activities. He goes out every friday, watches football every other saturday and plays alot of golf - we ...
A. 27 August 2013: Good for you! Glad you talked to him, bottling it up doesn't work.
Have you considered getting help for the depression?... (read in full...)
Friend of my ex was put up to break my heart! How do I get over this?
Q. Hey everyone, About 2 years ago,I met this guy at my gym we had the same trainer we started talking,hit it off,he asked me out but from the very start I wasn't looking for anything serious,I made it clear to him..he fell in love with me things g...
A. 27 August 2013: Wow how callous!
Well, how do you get over it? You accept that there are assholes out there who likes nothing better then to make others as miserable as they are.
Don't let their actions and pettiness get to you, best revenge is NOT to hurt w... (read in full...)
I'm not the funny, entertaining person whom I want to be.
Q. I really want to make the guy I like laugh, but I can't. We're friends and have known each other a while. I'm not sure if he feels the same but if not thats cool I'd like to be good friends. Thing is I've never been a very funny person, I don't ...
A. 27 August 2013: You need to be WHO you are not try and "fake" it because you desire to be something else. It will just come off as odd.
I be you there is something YOU are great at, but you don't share with others. Find YOUR niche.... (read in full...)
Why do I attract more attention from guys when I am travelling, but not when I am in my own country?
Q. My questions is why do attract more attention from guys when I am travelling, but not when I am in my country? I travel a lot:3 months out of the year. Sometimes it's for work but also for pleasure. I am always looking forward to my trips because...
A. 27 August 2013: To anon female..:)
Yes, even with red hair and freckles, that is not what most people consider exotic :) But I think "exotic" comes down to what is NOT the norm where you live.
So, in the Southern Europe a red haired girls with freckles stand o... (read in full...)
He wanted a break and a week later says he wants to be with me. Is he just playing games?
Q. I been seeing someone for 8 month everything was good then about a week ago got he say he need a break to sort out what he want but yesterday he said he want to get back together a again he said he want to be with me and that he got sacred that why ...
A. 27 August 2013: It think it all comes down to WHAT YOU want. Do you want to try again? Or are you done?
Personally, I don't think it's a good sign to have doubts only 8 months in, but it could b "cold feet" more then doubt.... (read in full...)
I don't want to use my mom just to babysit while I have a baby!
Q. Question for mothers and Fathers. I'm 22 weeks pregnant with my second child who I have been with for 4 years. Me and my partner 'Jay' got into a huge argument last night about the when the time comes for me to have this baby. He obviously wan...
A. 27 August 2013: What do YOU want? Your partner should NOT dictate how it's should be it should be a compromise of what you BOTH want.
I think he is being ridiculous, honestly. If he doesn't want your mom there when you get back home, book her a room. YOU might ne... (read in full...)
Nothing has been said since I reminded her of her sexual past, should I bring it back up?
Q. I am upset over something but don’t have the right to be. I posted last hear on Dear cupid and got some good feed back. Let me explain and get your reaction. I have suffered from retroactive jealousy for a number of years. I realize the p...
A. 27 August 2013: I don't think you are a bad guy either, but I think your mindset is stuck in one gear (reverse, if you will) and you RATHER drive looking out the back window, when it comes to your wife, then shift and look out the front.
Retrograde Jealousy... (read in full...)
Am I being unreasonable feeling unwanted?
Q. i have been living with my boyfriend for 4 months i thought i'd feel closer to him but i feel even more so like i am second best to his friends/activities. He goes out every friday, watches football every other saturday and plays alot of golf - we ...
A. 27 August 2013: You need to stop relying 100% on him for YOUR entertainment. Develop some hobbies or rekindle old hobbies, get out met new people, make some friends.
I don't think it's because he doesn't care, but because he assume you are a "big girl" capable ... (read in full...)
His behaviour has changed and he insults me now
Q. Hello! I'm really hoping someone can shed some light on this for me. I've been dating my boyfriend for 3 months now and at first he seemed like such a gent, hence the reason I wanted to be with him! Anyway, there's been a few peculiar happ...
A. 27 August 2013: I think his Mr Jekyll (gent) is not his real persona, that is just what he uses to reel a girl in. He is all Hyde.
And don't forget this is not about you. This is all him. You DO not have to accept anyone treatment of you. If someone (even a ... (read in full...)
Why do I attract more attention from guys when I am travelling, but not when I am in my own country?
Q. My questions is why do attract more attention from guys when I am travelling, but not when I am in my country? I travel a lot:3 months out of the year. Sometimes it's for work but also for pleasure. I am always looking forward to my trips because...
A. 26 August 2013: My guess?
1. you are attractive and "exotic" even with your red hair/freckles :)
2. you aren't there for long, which means... you are a "safe" flirt/date/ONS since you won't expect a relationship.
3. you are well traveled, which can mean... (read in full...)
His behaviour has changed and he insults me now
Q. Hello! I'm really hoping someone can shed some light on this for me. I've been dating my boyfriend for 3 months now and at first he seemed like such a gent, hence the reason I wanted to be with him! Anyway, there's been a few peculiar happ...
A. 26 August 2013: It's ONLY been 3 months, I'd cut my loses on this one, he will ONLY escalate.
He said his ex had no backbone - it probably means he treated her that way too and felt he was somehow ENTITLED to treat girls this way. He seems to have VERY little r... (read in full...)
My husband blames me for all the damage caused to our relationship
Q. Hello this is going to be a long question but I need advice. Me and my husband have been together for 5 years now. Married for 6 months. We have a three year old son together. He is my first everything and we've had a lot of ups and downs througho...
A. 26 August 2013: You can't fix a relationship on your own. You BOTH need to admit to your OWN actions and move on from there. I would suggest a neutral 3rd person to help you out, a couples or marriage counselor for instance.
... (read in full...)
Is it OK for me to ask a girl to dress the way I like girls to dress when we go out?
Q. I would appreciate opinions on how to approach this, or indeed if to say anything at all. I seem to have some type of "fetish" where if a girl is dressed in a certain kind of way, she becomes irresistable to me. Not sluttish, certain types of...
A. 26 August 2013: You could tell her, you know that outfit (insert description) when you wear that i drives me nuts and LEAVE it up to her if she wants to DO THAT for you or not.
Telling a girl WHAT to wear is not OK in my book, but letting how know how certain ... (read in full...)
I can see potential in this guy but my mom thinks he's bad news. How should I proceed?
Q. I moved with my family into a house next door to a guy around April. We started talking late May. We got along great and were hanging out heaps. We were staying at each others places watching movies or having drinks. We did give each other hugs ...
A. 26 August 2013: You found yourself a "fixer-upper" or a "time-sink" BF. Don't date a guy because you think he can be "perfect" if you can "just" change a few things about him. It's not going to work. The ONLY way anyone make changes in their lives is because THEY ... (read in full...)
Should I just not talk to random girls?
Q. I am the type of guy who can easily have a friendly chat with strangers, both male and female. Once in a while, after it, I may ask a female out. The other day, I was waiting for a bus, and there was an older lady and a young girl there. As I was ...
A. 26 August 2013: I think you should KEEP being who you are. The young lady is JUST fine, she had a nice conversation with a young dude and that is it.
The elderly lady is WAY off base.
I agree with Ciar though, hold back on the compliments if you are just sho... (read in full...)
Found him on Facebook but too chicken to add him
Q. Hey I met a guy whilst on guide camp, I'm 21 and a leader with the camp and he was one of the service crew I fancied him and we ended up staying up till 2am just talking with some other people but nothing happened I didn't see him after th...
A. 26 August 2013: I think you SHOULD add him, if you didn't really know him it would be weird, but you DO know him, so it's OK in my book.... (read in full...)
My partner broke up with me while hiding his cross dressing and other fetishes.
Q. I am 39 years old and have been with my partner for 2 years. Our relationship was fantastic to start with, and i thought he was the one and we would always be together, i had found my soul mate. After about 8 mths into the relationship, he s...
A. 25 August 2013: One thing you REALLY have to hold on to and remember is this, YOU didn't "make" him be this way. It's a choice for him. And something I think he doesn't WANT to share, at least not with you.
Nothing to do with you, in a way (even if that hurts) b... (read in full...)
My partner broke up with me while hiding his cross dressing and other fetishes.
Q. I am 39 years old and have been with my partner for 2 years. Our relationship was fantastic to start with, and i thought he was the one and we would always be together, i had found my soul mate. After about 8 mths into the relationship, he s...
A. 25 August 2013: This is part of who he is, but he CHOSE not to share it with you for possibly many reasons.
1. he doesn't WANT you to know. Maybe he is partially ashamed of it.
2. he doesn't think you would accept it.
3. he doesn't WANT to share it.
All... (read in full...)
Am I prudish for not wanting to ejaculate in her mouth?
Q. I have a girlfriend for the first time in my life. We've been together for almost 6 months. She told me before we committed to a serious relationship that she was very sexual since she was 15. I was a virgin but lied and told her I had a few sexual ...
A. 25 August 2013: Sounds like you two don't find the same things "sexy". Some men LOVE it when a woman swallows, snowball, spit, rubs it all over her face/body - some don't.
You are in the latter category. I think you should just tell her it's a turn off for you.... (read in full...)
I asked him a question and he can't give me an answer. What do I do?
Q. Hello cupid members, there is a guy friend of mine that I recently asked the questions of whether or not he sees us more than friends and if we could ever be more. His response was a plain 'i don't know' and we never finished the conversation to ...
A. 25 August 2013: I think it's pretty obvious that he doesn't see you as more. Or he would have been all over it.
He is trying to avoid having "the talk" because he doesn't want the status quo to change and he doesn't want to hurt your feelings.
I'd say stop ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend found my post here, got upset and dumped me on facebook.
Q. im heart broken and lost, my now ex found a post i made on this website asking for advice to help me help her really. i talked about how she is a nutter but i love her anyways, and that i would do anything to make her happy, and i was worried about ...
A. 25 August 2013: I'm guessing you are right she snooped though your computer looking for ammo she could use against you.
Honestly, I think your friends are right. She is flirting with your friends to get back at you, she is telling "everyone" about the dumping ... (read in full...)
Is it rude to masturbate in front of your boyfriend?
Q. Hello, So my boyfriend and I had been on-and-of together for more than 2 years but I was never able to reach an orgasm. Not sure if it is because some women are just hard to get one or it is my problem. We don't see each other as often as we want...
A. 25 August 2013: Is it rude? No, but you are shooting yourself in the foot by not letting him know that YOU can't come unless your are stimulated by touching your clitoris. He will think he is making sweet sweet love to you, yet you are not satisfied. Which makes ... (read in full...)
My wife doesn't do any work at home and then complains that I should help her
Q. My wife is a stay at home mom, while I work 10-12 hours a day. My wife doesn't do anything at home, I always come home to a mess. She always complains that I should help with the house work. She doesn't do laundry until it absolutely needs to be ...
A. 25 August 2013: There really is not good excuse why she is not doing a thing. I was a stay at home mom for years when the kiddos were little - having a husband that deployed/worked 10+ hours/schools/ training and so forth it was hard to be able to work with 3 small ... (read in full...)
I need to know how to stop my sexual urges.
Q. In the last few days or so, I've become more sexually aroused then normal. I find myself having to masturbate every few hours because it gets too difficult to concentrate. My body has these new urges. I had sex with my ex boyfriend this morning and ...
A. 25 August 2013: I agree with SVC - you are probably ovulating. It should pass in a couple of days.
You might also have some hormonal changes coming up.
... (read in full...)
Nothing has been said since I reminded her of her sexual past, should I bring it back up?
Q. I am upset over something but don’t have the right to be. I posted last hear on Dear cupid and got some good feed back. Let me explain and get your reaction. I have suffered from retroactive jealousy for a number of years. I realize the p...
A. 25 August 2013: YOU need more help then we can give you here on DC - therapist/counselor, someone qualified.
You will NEVER stop holding this over your wife's head even if it's totally unreasonable. And SHE will reach a point where she's just had enough and walk... (read in full...)
I fear I am being used and lied to!
Q. I need to know if my boyfriend is lying and using me. The thing is my boyfriend used my computer to go on to Facebook and forgot to log out. I noticed this and automatically went to do so when I saw my name in a concerning way so I read it. I felt ...
A. 25 August 2013: I agree 100% with BimBim.
I normally say that you should NEVER breech someone's privacy like that and I mean it, but in this case I think it was actually a good thing you saw this NOW rather then later.
He might have been "boasting" but l... (read in full...)
The house will be "ours" but he is making the rules!
Q. Both in our 50's and only been married 10. months. We lived together happily for a year before but now bicker all the time. He feels that he has fitted into my lifestyle whilst at my house and we are now moving to his. I never wanted this but ...
A. 25 August 2013: My husband used to smoke outside. I didn't want smoke in the house with the kids. No smoking in the car because it's just plain nasty.
I USED to smoke (before I met hubby) so it's not like I'm a total smoke hater but I don't like my kids exposed ... (read in full...)
Do I have the right to feel jealous if my on-and off bf sleep with another girl?
Q. Hello, So technically my boyfriend broke up with me a year and half ago (in Jan 2012) but he still keeps me around. He said long distance isn't for him but I still love him and have a hard time letting him go. So, every break when I get a chance, ...
A. 25 August 2013: Go out with friends :) It doesn't mean you have to hook up with anyone. Just go and have fun. Dance, laugh at People, meet new people, laugh with friend.
... (read in full...)
How could she move on so quickly?
Q. My wife and I had a six week break before we got back together and got married. She was 19 at the time. During that time she was living with a family member who had a male roommate who was the same age as her father. She had a sexual relationship ...
A. 24 August 2013: It doesn't mean she "moved" on, it could mean she TRIED to forget/move on by sleeping with someone else.
Don't forget she was also possibly vulnerable after the break up and a older guy felt "safer".
I'm guessing sex with you meant a whole lo... (read in full...)
I have a girlfriend and a friend with benefits. What am I going to do?
Q. I think I'm in love with 2 girls. I have a girlfriend but lately I've been getting close with a friend of mines. Myself and my friend are what you could call friends with benefits. She doesn't know that i have a girlfriend though, and I'm starting ...
A. 24 August 2013: The reason you kept it to yourself that you had a GF/FWB
You need to man up and tell them both, let THEM decide if they want to be with a dog or not.
Would you be OK if your GF was FUCKING someone else on the side?
You know what you are... (read in full...)
Guys are attracted but never want to date me or have a relationship. Could this guy be different?
Q. I just recently got a text from a guy who I use to chat with online. We use to talk all the time. One of our conversations led to phone sex and he told me that we would look good together. One day I noticed that he had closed his account. So I ...
A. 24 August 2013: Are you only looking at younger guys? Maybe it's not you, but they "type" of guys you look for that aren't interested in dating.
Also, phone sex, sexting is not really a way to get to know someone... it's a way to play pretend/fantasy with som... (read in full...)
We've been through so much and I'm just not sure that the affection is there anymore
Q. I posted on here a couple of months ago about my awful relationship. My boyfriend putting beer weed and telly before me, and making me me worthless and pointless. Problems have been going on for ages. My boyfriend has some problems in that he ...
A. 24 August 2013: 6 sessions of counseling will in all likelihood not change him completely, but it might give him tools to handle the stress better. Good for him.
The thing is, for you, this has gone on for ages. And YOU can't just erase his past actions and trea... (read in full...)
Should I write a letter to my crush expressing my feelings?
Q. Hello everyone, I have a big crush for someone. He's a Police Inspector and he helps me in my work. Well, I'm not in the police sector but my work consists of prosecuting environmental offences. I never intended it and never wanted it, it just hap...
A. 24 August 2013: Is he married? Are you? If you can say yes to either, then I suggest you keep your crush/fantasy to yourself. If you don't know if he is married, then I suggest you discretely find out.
I would NOT write a letter, IF he is NOT married I would ta... (read in full...)
I want to go no contact but I keep looking at her facebook pages
Q. I am trying to do the NC for 30 days. It's been hard 'cause eventhough I removed my ex- from my FB newsfeed; I still look into her profile and it affects me. I have never been a FB fan; but I did posted pictures of us when we were together. Now, ...
A. 24 August 2013: Just un-friend and block her.. Easiest solution. You keep looking and it isn't HEALTHY for you.
Or, like you mentioned delete your FB. If she thinks you are weak, so what? Don't worry so much what she thinks, you can't control that at all anyways.... (read in full...)
Do I have the right to feel jealous if my on-and off bf sleep with another girl?
Q. Hello, So technically my boyfriend broke up with me a year and half ago (in Jan 2012) but he still keeps me around. He said long distance isn't for him but I still love him and have a hard time letting him go. So, every break when I get a chance, ...
A. 24 August 2013: He is NOT your BF, and you are NOT his GF.
If YOU want a decent relationship, then END this "thing" you two got going.
Cut the contact 100%
You have sex with him in hopes that you two are more then you are, he is having sex with you... b... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is trying to stir up drama when all I want to do is talk to him!
Q. My boyfriend is on a lads holiday at the moment and last night he dropped me a message that he had to be honest and on his first night he had kissed another girl but it didn't mean anything. I told him I was glad he told me but I wasn't going to ...
A. 24 August 2013: Sounds to me that he wants YOU to be the one to end the relationship.
I don't think he lied, I think his mate did, to cover for him.
Way way juvenile.
I'd ignore his calls and have a chat when he gets home. That gives you both some time... (read in full...)
Should I worry about others hearing my girlfriend's moans during sex?
Q. During intercourse last night in bed my girlfriend started moaning for the very first time since we started having full sex regularly from being virgins a couple of months ago. I was pleased to hear her because I'd been thinking the condom was ...
A. 24 August 2013: Nope. If she enjoys herself don't worry what others might think. UNLESS you still live at home..
And honey, a WOMAN can't really feel a condom AT ALL. So keep on using them.... (read in full...)
How should I act around the man who rejected me?
Q. I had a crush on a man, who was out of my reach. It was inappropriate. But I told him I had a crush on him and he pretty much rejected me, with no answers after a lot of flirting, when we'd see each other, smiling, waving, winking etc. he didn't h...
A. 24 August 2013: How about your own marriage? Your husband? Did that figure in? Again not judging, just curious.... (read in full...)
She hasn't invited me to her friends' wedding?
Q. My girlfriend has been invited to one of her friend's wedding next month (an ex, but they're still friends, which is totally fine with me by the way). It's in the middle of a week we both have off on holiday. Anyway, she told me that it didn't come ...
A. 24 August 2013: It really depends on a lot of things. Financially I can see then cutting out BF/GF's and only inviting people they WANT around (and can afford). If they don't know you from Adam, maybe it's just not important for THEM to invite you... After all it's ... (read in full...)
Wife had bad day at work, crying but won't tell me what happened!
Q. I need some insight into the female mind...no easy task I know. My wife comes home crying. She started a new job about 2 weeks ago. She said she had a horrible day. So I hug her and she cries. I ask whats wrong but she said she didnt want to ta...
A. 23 August 2013: 1. What does she do for work?
2. Is she normally emotionally?
3. I would give a her a few days to mull it over and then I would ask what really went down. I wouldn't accuse her of being unfaithful.... (read in full...)
My friend doesn't approve of one night stands and now she won't speak to me because I told her that I had one!
Q. So a few months ago I went home with one of my friend's roommates after a party (I was a freshman in college) and we ended up sleeping together. I don't regret a thing, but my best friend from high school doesn't really like how college has changed ...
A. 23 August 2013: I'd just let it go.
Just like some people can't seem to respect that YOU (general you) might have a different view on life, religion, politics - some people think you are not allowed to have different morals and values.
DON'T let her make you... (read in full...)
We discussed a FWB relationship but now he's running hot and cold!
Q. I have a coworker who's been hot and cold with me for about a year now. The past month, he's come on strong, being very physical and sexual. I would like to have a friends with benefits situation with him. I'm single, and not interested in a ...
A. 23 August 2013: Nope, don't bring it up again. You two WORK together and I think he decided it would be a bad idea.
... (read in full...)
How should I act around the man who rejected me?
Q. I had a crush on a man, who was out of my reach. It was inappropriate. But I told him I had a crush on him and he pretty much rejected me, with no answers after a lot of flirting, when we'd see each other, smiling, waving, winking etc. he didn't h...
A. 23 August 2013: What do you do?
You behave like the guy is just another dude. I would say civil. It's kind of hard to be friendly when you made a blunder like that.
Some times we read other people wrong, this... was your time to do that. Don't beat yourself up... (read in full...)
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