Is it right my boyfriend went out with 4 female friends from uni without me, to a swanky new restaurant?
Q. Is it right that my boyfriend goes to dinner in a swanky new restaurant in town with 4 other girls, who are single, without me? No reason for it, just because. Friends from uni that is. My heart sank when he rang me to tell me, and dropped in, ...
A. 6 September 2013: So these are friends from before you two started dating? I really don't see the problem, as long as it doesn't happen constantly.
Going out here and there with friends is pretty normal.
The only thing I find a little rude is that he called y... (read in full...)
Should you change who you are just to impress a guy?
Q. My friend complains that she doesn't have a boyfriend, but when guys ask her out, she says no. She really likes this one guy, but she only seems interested in him when he is dating someone. Then if he asks her out, she turns him down. She changed ...
A. 6 September 2013: No, you should "act" like someone else to "catch" a guy. The thing is she doesn't believe he would date HER, so she makes up a almost fake persona that she "thinks" he might like. It's more of a fantasy then reality, which is why I would guess she ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend broke things off and says he needs person time. How much time does he need?
Q. My boyfriend and i broke up saturday due to me bitching, complaining and naging about everything every day we lived together but he ended up moving out and staying with his friend. he keeps saying over and over that he needs time for his self, i ...
A. 6 September 2013: I can see why he needs a break, you are constantly pushing him and trying to control the situation. THAT can be exhausting!
I would pack up his stuff and either drop it off or text him and tell him it's ready for pick up.
After that stop textin... (read in full...)
I don't like him teasing me about private stuff
Q. Hey everyone, I'm a very shy person and this is my first real relationship.. My boyfriend and I are in LDR now,sometimes actually most of the times my boyfriend talks abt what I did,or how I moan or what I say when he does things to me! And then ...
A. 5 September 2013: If you two are in a LDR I think he just want to keep it fresh in your mind. If he posted the stuff on FB (let's say) then I would think it was utterly inappropriate but over the phone with his GF? Not really.
Are you wrong? I guess not. You feel... (read in full...)
How can I tell if she is having an orgasm or not?
Q. I don't know when my girlfriend orgasms. right now all i can do is trust her but i would like to know if she orgasms for real or if she is faking it. When she tells me she orgasms i can't feel her contracting even if i use my fingers. only until ...
A. 5 September 2013: Trust her?
And remember sex isn't just about her (or you) reaching the big O. There is a heck of a lot more to sex then that 30 seconds of Oh my!
Why you do NEED to know? Is she enjoying sex with you? ... (read in full...)
This guy I have spoken to online is already pressuring me to do things
Q. I recently had a conversation with a guy online and he kept asking me for my email address and I told him that we just started chatting. The other guys get mad if you don't have Yahoo messenger or Skype. I'm tired of these guys getting mad at me an...
A. 5 September 2013: Like Blonde30s said, Have an account that is for the dating site ONLY. And when you REGISTER this e-mail account - do not fill out ALL the details.
That way you can give one out IF YOU WANT TO, without having to feel guilty or without giving y... (read in full...)
Is he just being playful? Or flirting?
Q. Hey everyone, There is this married handsome guy I see around,we work in the same place but in different departments..we don't see each other every day! So whenever he sees me that would be once in like 2 or 3 weeks,whenever he passes by he wou...
A. 5 September 2013: I agree with Denise.
Keep it friendly and no more. I seriously doubt you want the mess that comes with a married man.
It doesn't mean you can't small talk or joke around, as long as you keep it above board. From what you wrote it seems like fr... (read in full...)
Boyfriend treats me like his personal assistant! Advice?
Q. I've been dating this guy for almost a year. He treats me like his personal assistant, and I am finally sticking up for myself. But he is so sensitive that when i do he acts like Im hurting his feelings. For instance he wants me to make and cancel ...
A. 5 September 2013: You are making excuses for him because you are afraid to stand up for yourself. Breaking up is rarely easy. IT doesn't feel good to dump someone or be dumped.
You say he is a lovely guy for the most part. Is that part BIG enough to make you happ... (read in full...)
I'm feeling excluded from meeting his child and wondering if there's more to his relationship with the child's mother
Q. My boyfriend of 9 months has a 2-year-old child with another woman. This woman won't allow him to take the child out of her sight. She also won't allow him to bring me around, so he has to drive up there (1.5 hours away) every Saturday to see her ...
A. 5 September 2013: No, I doubt it's because you aren't/weren't "good" enough. The two of them had this dysfunctional relationship even after they broke up. If it hadn't been for the child they made, I would be surprised if they still had stayed in contact here and ... (read in full...)
I have alopecia, and wear a wig!
Q. I am recently single after a rocky four year relationship and I wanted some advice about getting back into dating again. The break-up hit me quite hard, although I know it was for the best as things had just gone downhill and neither of us co...
A. 5 September 2013: I agree with SVC - I'd wait til the 3rd date because if you get along well enough to do a third date, it's most likely that it's because you like each others personality and are physically attracted.
I have to say if anyone ever tell you that not... (read in full...)
I don't know how to handle my 9 year old daughter's extreme jealousy
Q. I have been divorced for 3 yrs. I have a 9 yr old daughter. I am trying to bring a good man into my home life as well as we have now been together 6 months and it is definitely a ltr. I have kept any dating and men away from my children until it ...
A. 5 September 2013: I think Cerberus have a great point when he mentions meeting the "stranger" (because that is who he is to her) outside of her home/territory.
I would make the "dates" shorter and not focus on PDA so much. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend lied to me about his past and his sex life and I don't know how much to believe him now.
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for about 8 months now. Things have been fabulous, we’re looking at getting engaged soon. However, there are some things which are bothering me and I need some men’s opinions on this. I was a virgin when I met him b...
A. 5 September 2013: I'm 100% with Cerberus.
There is nothing "romantic" about his lie. WTF?! And yes, I wouldn't trust this guy further then I could toss him.
He SURELY didn't know that he would be able to maintain and erection with you, and that was the reason h... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants to go on holiday with his mate and 2 female friends... without me. Am I wrong to feel this is inappropriate?
Q. Hi, just a quick question as I am really in need of others' opinions. My boyfriend recently asked me how I would feel about him going on a holiday for a week with one of his male friends and two female friends. Is this inappropriate for someone in a ...
A. 5 September 2013: Here is the thing with trust.
You say you trust him, but not her. It doesn't matter if you don't trust her as LONG as you trust him. Because she could basically prance around naked in front of him and if he is faithful and trustworthy, he's wal... (read in full...)
Why does he say I'm the only girl for him and then ignore my suggestions of meeting up?
Q. I find this man so confusing please please help!!!I have known him for about 7 years. We have both been away and travelled etc...but always been 'casual sex buddies'. We ahve a lot in common but I think have both enjoyed being single. He lives about ...
A. 5 September 2013: Because he likes the "fantasy" but reality is a whole other world.
He wants YOU to not want anyone else, and his way to go about it is to suggest marriage. Even if he doesn't mean it. You two have spend 7 years being casual sex buddies and he w... (read in full...)
My girlfriend acts like she's black
Q. Before me, my girlfriend had only dated black guys. I'm the first white guy she has ever dated. Around me she acts like her normal self but in public (usually only around black people) she acts like she is black. It gets really annoying. Don't get ...
A. 5 September 2013: It's not about "acting black" it's about adapting to whatever situation she is around.
While for you can I understand that it seems fake. She might not even be aware of it.
My accent varies depending on who I'm with. I didn't notice myself bu... (read in full...)
My grown son wants to be independant. My ex is the one digging his heels in. Can anyone give me some good advice?
Q. My only child is a grown man, but with a mental illness. He was on his own and became severely ill and unable to care for himself. His healing team told me this was a unique situation and he needed to come home. I was engaged and living with my ...
A. 5 September 2013: Good that your son is doing great and is now able to try to be on his own again.
You Ex DH? You owe him nothing. He can't tell you "I'm not moving!" because you have absolutely NO obligation to help him out any more or be his caretaker.
Legally... (read in full...)
I'm feeling excluded from meeting his child and wondering if there's more to his relationship with the child's mother
Q. My boyfriend of 9 months has a 2-year-old child with another woman. This woman won't allow him to take the child out of her sight. She also won't allow him to bring me around, so he has to drive up there (1.5 hours away) every Saturday to see her ...
A. 4 September 2013: Legally he CAN get a court ordered paternity test and visitations. SHE can demand (in return) that they are supervised either by her or a 3'rd person. I'm sure if he went that route she would make it difficult, but IF he is paying child support or ... (read in full...)
My ex partner expects everything from me ....
Q. I can't take this, me and my ex have a baby together. He won't move out of my house I met someone new and we were hanging out one thing lead to another. Now my ex is telling me he has rights and he will make my life extremely difficult if I d...
A. 4 September 2013: He WON'T move out of your house? Are you kidding?
IS he on the lease? (if you rent) or do you OWN the place?
If he is NOT on the papers, you need to have him evicted. If he has lived there longer then 7 days he has established resi... (read in full...)
Dating a man who treats me right but who I dont' find attractive enough. Help!
Q. I know this is shallow but I can only get myself to put in an effort with a guy if I find him good looking.. I'm in a relationship with this guy for 4 months,I don't find him all that attractive, he's a pretty decent looking guy but when women co...
A. 4 September 2013: If those things stand out to you that much.. (the way he dresses and looks) then you simply don't care enough for him and then you are just stringing him along.
So if there is no major chemistry why are you still with him?... (read in full...)
I finished a relationship with a divorcee because he is too tied to his family and I was a secret to his children. Why does he keep in contact with me?
Q. I had a mind blowing intense, although only 4 months in length relationship with a divorced man. I am also divorced. We both have kids from our previous marriages. There was a lot of chemistry and tenderness between us and we were both happy to have ...
A. 4 September 2013: He does it because he hopes that you change your mind and "just" accept how he live his life and because... YOU let him (you could block him or tell him do not contact me). By texting you, YOU keep him "fresh" in your mind and therefore will have a ... (read in full...)
I like my best friend but she has a boyfriend. What should I do?
Q. So I like my best friend, more than a friend should. But she currently has a boyfriend (over a year now). She knows I like her because I asked her to come with me to an event, then she wanted him to come cause she wanted us to make friends. I ...
A. 4 September 2013: You write & I quote:
****But if I do something now when she has someone she is happy with, am I really being a friend? Isn't it selfish of me?******
YES if you push it now you are NOT being a good friend at all. And yes, it IS selfish.
SHE ... (read in full...)
Why is he being cruel? Is his ego just bruised?
Q. I was getting along well with this man, and even agreed to go on a date with him. He made it pretty clear he liked me as more than a friend, although nothing had ever happened between us that went beyond talking. The night before our date, a mutu...
A. 4 September 2013: Block his number if you can. The man is nuts.
... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants to go on holiday with his mate and 2 female friends... without me. Am I wrong to feel this is inappropriate?
Q. Hi, just a quick question as I am really in need of others' opinions. My boyfriend recently asked me how I would feel about him going on a holiday for a week with one of his male friends and two female friends. Is this inappropriate for someone in a ...
A. 4 September 2013: I would not think it was OK or cool at all either. 2 guys and 2 girls going on holiday, even if they are all friends, why aren't partners invited?
I think it's a little odd.
The thing is, DO you trust him or not? ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend treats me like his personal assistant! Advice?
Q. I've been dating this guy for almost a year. He treats me like his personal assistant, and I am finally sticking up for myself. But he is so sensitive that when i do he acts like Im hurting his feelings. For instance he wants me to make and cancel ...
A. 4 September 2013: My guess is that you did all these things in the beginning to show how great a GF you are and he just started to take it for granted and adding on "chores".
I agree with iAmHereToHelpYou - it does seem more like how he might treat his mom, mor... (read in full...)
Why is he being cruel? Is his ego just bruised?
Q. I was getting along well with this man, and even agreed to go on a date with him. He made it pretty clear he liked me as more than a friend, although nothing had ever happened between us that went beyond talking. The night before our date, a mutu...
A. 4 September 2013: And you trust the person who told you about the GF 100% If so, you did the right thing. In any respect, I think you did the right thing anyways because how how he reacted (being cruel).
Keep ignoring him, apparently he can't understand that som... (read in full...)
Lashed out at a friend, feel awful and need advice
Q. I need a bit of advice from some random people. I have an idea of what I need to do, but I am always open to others opinions. Anyway, where do I begin. I started hanging out with this girl back in February as friends. We literally started doing ev...
A. 4 September 2013: Whether she is "proud" of one night stands or not, I DO think you owe her one (apology) IF you want in the future to talk to her. It's not really your place to judge her. If she was a guy most people (your age) would think he was quite the stud for ... (read in full...)
My friend feels threatened by me around guys and I don't know what to do
Q. Okay. I have a friend who i have known since i was a kid. We are pretty close. But she is a bit hard to get along with...especially when it comes to guys. Maybe it is because she was sexually abused as a child. So she has never had a real relat...
A. 3 September 2013: Calling DIPS is juvenile to say the least, specially if you (or her) do NOTHING about the crush other then "wait" for them to magically discover you/she is there.
It could very well be because of the childhood abuse that she sticks with having c... (read in full...)
If he doesn't care about me then why does he put so much effort into?
Q. Right before I graduated college a few months ago, I got the courage up to talk to a guy who I had liked for awhile. It turned out he had felt the same way but was too shy to speak up either. We didn't go on dates or anything but would hang out at ...
A. 3 September 2013: He sees you as a FWB and her as GF material. The only thing I wonder is why SHE is accepting this, but who knows.
IF you want a relationship HE is not it for you.
And yes, you have the "right" to get upset but it's not like he really cares. ( ... (read in full...)
Losing virginity to a large guy?
Q. I am a virgin female in her early-mid 20's. I was not necessarily waiting for marriage, but I was waiting for the right, long term relationship that could lead to marriage. I'd like to think I've found him. My boyfriend, who is not a virgin, wa...
A. 3 September 2013: Honestly, I don't think there is a guy out there who would have a problem knowing that their GF thinks they are BIG. So BE honest with him, it might even make him be extra gentle.
Very few guys are so big that the vagina can't accommodate them. If... (read in full...)
How much abuse is too much? ( physical and emotional) How to move on after abusive relationships?
Q. I was with this man for two years. He was perfect the first eight months of us dating, I realized he started becoming mean. He would tell me awful things like I was stupid, bad at sex, or had an ugly vagina. He would break up with me, block me off ...
A. 3 September 2013: ANY abuse is too much. Abuse shouldn't BE the norm in a relationship. I get that people argue and yell at each other or WANT to "hit" the other person, but hold back because they KNOW that isn't right.
YOU have to KNOW that you CAN be in charge o... (read in full...)
How do I stay strong when I tell him to get out?
Q. My boyfriend doesn't work, contribute to bills, rent, groceries and he is destructive. How do I stay strong when I tell him to get out? I met him in January of 2012 and he my first impression was not to feel like he was a very nice person. ...
A. 3 September 2013: READ the answers you got on here. It's not like you don't know what to do and you do it, but then because you somehow LOVE all this dysfunctional drama (yes, I think you LOVE it) or you wouldn't keep taking him back after he walks all over you.
... (read in full...)
He told me I shouldn't try to wear a bikini again! Yet he looks at porn when I'm out of the house! Am I wrong to take this to heart?
Q. My stomach was severely covered in stretch marks after having our first baby. Its been 3 years and I've worked really hard to get back down to my college weight. So I said something to my husband about trying to get back into a bikini. He told me ...
A. 3 September 2013: I'm with Tish!
You EARNED those tiger stribes! IF YOU want to wear a bikini and can put one one and look yourself in the mirror and be OK (or heck happy!) with what you see THEN WEAR ONE!
HE is not holding you back, YOU are by LETTING him make... (read in full...)
He's moved back in with an ex and says he needs to spend days or weeks without me so he can miss me. Huh?
Q. A man and woman have been living together on and off for four years; the man moved out a year ago, however they have maintained contact and have stated they both want to work on the relationship and renew it.. the man had no place to go (he has no ...
A. 3 September 2013: I'm so with iAmHereToHelpYou - I'd done with that. I'd not be someone's odd days GF or second best.
Nope. He can go kick rock with his "ex".... (read in full...)
I'm the older sister at the younger sister's wedding and I need advice on how to deal with the intrusive questions!
Q. My younger sister and her fiance are getting married in december, (interstate.) As well as their friends, and my brother and his family some extended family members,are also travelling to attend, its not a big wedding about 60 ppl. I am si...
A. 3 September 2013: I would just not answer their intrusive questions and tell them that the day is REALLY all about the bride and groom then change the subject. Hopefully they will get it.
... (read in full...)
Why would a married man flirt with an employee if his marriage is secure?
Q. Hello all. I really need some advice so here goes..one of my managers at work constantly plays and jokes around with me unlike with any other employee..for example.. he makes sexual comments..he has given me a tight side hug..he gives me compliments ...
A. 2 September 2013: Good for you, because you were wasting your time with him as it was. I don't really think he was looking for friendship from you.... (read in full...)
I like her, but she is going through a divorce and I'm confused
Q. I'll try to make this quick. I'm 33, I met this girl(mid 30's) who I would see occasionally at her work when I stopped by there. I'm kinda shy and she was always busy so we didn't talk much. I got her number, texted her but her responses seemed ...
A. 2 September 2013: I think I would bow out gracefully, before you get labelled "dense" for not "taking the hint". I think she is being polite and replying, because your work/her work overlaps somehow.
She isn't up for dating yet and you ought to respect that.
... (read in full...)
How do I get over the resentment I feel for my partner/baby's father of nearly 3 years who has never offered to marry me to this day?
Q. I am with my bf nearly 3 years now and I am upset that he has never to this day offered me marriage. I hate to sound demanding by writing that and I really don't know why this starts to bother me so much as it never bothered me this much before!! I ...
A. 2 September 2013: It's hard to say, maybe because he had two failed marriages behind him? Maybe because YOU were OK with having a child BEFORE you got married? Maybe because it's been working so far for the two of you without being married?
Maybe what you should d... (read in full...)
I think I am straight but hate that I am emotionally attracted to men also.
Q. I wrote in originally at http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-am-a-male-and-hate-that-i.html but I'll clear up a few things for you to make it more specific: I'm emotionally and sexually attracted to women - normally, anyway, have dated women al...
A. 2 September 2013: Do you have any close male friends?
I don't really see anything wrong in how you feel. As for the porn - WOW you are one in a million and THAT is a compliment.
I have women friends whom I have been closer to then most of my friends and it w... (read in full...)
I get cold feet as soon as I get a date
Q. Hey all! So I've joined a dating website and have been approached by many people. I like the attention and getting dates is not the problem. Its going on them. I get cold feet a day before a date or when a guy fixes a date. I stop talking and...
A. 2 September 2013:
What are you really scared off? Rejection? Or meeting new people?
Why not stick to short dates? Like a lunch/coffee date? It shouldn't be as intimidating as a longer movie/dinner date.
Either that or stop looking for guys til you feel RE... (read in full...)
Is it a red flag when a 55 year old man has lots of female friends young enough to be his daughters?
Q. Hello. I am 35yrs female (single). I am dating a guy who is 55yrs old (divorced). I like him very much and we are taking our time knowing each other. There is not intimacy between us yet and I like the way he respect it and we share quality time and...
A. 2 September 2013: I agree with hijacked_dignity - it's a "I hit my midlife crisis" and I NEED to feel young and to CONSTANTLY BE REMINDED that I still "have it".
I don't think these young ladies write all this comments out of the blue - I bet you he is a "smooth ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend of 3 months has lost his home. Should I let him sink or try to help?
Q. I have been dating someone for three months. He has three children whom he pays child support for as well as paying his own mortgage. Things have been going well between us and he has talked about me meeting his kids, which I am hoping to do eve...
A. 2 September 2013: Well, at least the man had some integrity. But yea you can't build a relationship on pretend and half truths.
Good luck and chin up!... (read in full...)
Why would a married man flirt with an employee if his marriage is secure?
Q. Hello all. I really need some advice so here goes..one of my managers at work constantly plays and jokes around with me unlike with any other employee..for example.. he makes sexual comments..he has given me a tight side hug..he gives me compliments ...
A. 2 September 2013: Because men (and women ) like to get their ego stroked, so even if they are happy at home, the WIFE knows him and isn't constantly stroking his ego no more, so to ensure that he still "has it" he will flirt with girls/women who are a non-threat to ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend of 3 months has lost his home. Should I let him sink or try to help?
Q. I have been dating someone for three months. He has three children whom he pays child support for as well as paying his own mortgage. Things have been going well between us and he has talked about me meeting his kids, which I am hoping to do eve...
A. 1 September 2013: Honestly, I don't think I would let him move in. It's ONLY been 3 months.
I understand he wants to take care of his kids, but having his house go into foreclosure is not because he missed one or two payments. So obviously this man is in a financia... (read in full...)
Lashed out at a friend, feel awful and need advice
Q. I need a bit of advice from some random people. I have an idea of what I need to do, but I am always open to others opinions. Anyway, where do I begin. I started hanging out with this girl back in February as friends. We literally started doing ev...
A. 30 August 2013: Honestly YOU being mad at her for HER sleeping with someone, having a one-night-stand when that is actually NONE of your business, neither are her morals. Yes, I think you were a complete jerk. You know where she lives send her a card? Snail-mail ... (read in full...)
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