Lashed out at a friend, feel awful and need advice
Q. I need a bit of advice from some random people. I have an idea of what I need to do, but I am always open to others opinions. Anyway, where do I begin. I started hanging out with this girl back in February as friends. We literally started doing ev...
A. 4 September 2013: Whether she is "proud" of one night stands or not, I DO think you owe her one (apology) IF you want in the future to talk to her. It's not really your place to judge her. If she was a guy most people (your age) would think he was quite the stud for ... (read in full...)
Why would a married man flirt with an employee if his marriage is secure?
Q. Hello all. I really need some advice so here goes..one of my managers at work constantly plays and jokes around with me unlike with any other employee..for example.. he makes sexual comments..he has given me a tight side hug..he gives me compliments ...
A. 2 September 2013: Good for you, because you were wasting your time with him as it was. I don't really think he was looking for friendship from you.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend of 3 months has lost his home. Should I let him sink or try to help?
Q. I have been dating someone for three months. He has three children whom he pays child support for as well as paying his own mortgage. Things have been going well between us and he has talked about me meeting his kids, which I am hoping to do eve...
A. 2 September 2013: Well, at least the man had some integrity. But yea you can't build a relationship on pretend and half truths.
Good luck and chin up!... (read in full...)
Are my friends up to no good? Should I stay away from them?
Q. On a night out with some friends I met a friend of a friend at a bar, he said that I was welcome to go along with them back to his house, to make things clear lets call my friend s and the accuaintance a, we'll we got to a,s house and we had a bit ...
A. 2 September 2013: Yikes, I think I would (next time) decline the offer to sleep at their place.
I don't think your friend S harmed the GF - I think she just didn't want to share the bed. If all she did was climb in bed with you without being MORE upset I just don... (read in full...)
He needs space, I am giving him that but worry he will forget me.
Q. Thanks for reading in advance. My bf and I have had a great relationship for the past 4 months. We had a small argument over text two weeks ago. I didn't know if we were broken up or not. We have declared our love for one another and have ...
A. 2 September 2013: Sorry, but he couldn't BOTHER to let you know what was up for two weeks? And NOT till YOU contacted him?
Having his father sick is a big deal but, mad at your or not, he COULD EASILY have texted or mailed you a little note saying hey I got a fa... (read in full...)
Is he a cheap skate
Q. Hi, I've been going out with a guy for 4 months, and he still hasn't taken me out to dinner. I'm not sure if he has much money, which isn't an issue, but whatever his situation, I think the least he could do is take me out. We have met for casual ...
A. 2 September 2013: Listen to your gut. You are not even sure about this guy. THAT gut instinct is there for a reason.
This is NOT the guy you WANT. You want a guy who who's main focus in not how much he's going to spend. Not saying you want a guy with money, b... (read in full...)
Should I accompany my boyfriend, who will leave for another country for 13 months?
Q. Hi, Not sure if you can help me but I need some advice. I was married for 5 years and then divorced (married a bad man) anyway didn't think I would find someone so soon after but I did. I met my current BF 1 year after my divorce was final. Anywa...
A. 2 September 2013: What is your plan?
1. can you get a years leave from your job? Or would have to find a new job when getting back home? If so how is the job market for whatever career field you are in? How about him? Is this 13 months just an assignment - does he ... (read in full...)
Why would a married man flirt with an employee if his marriage is secure?
Q. Hello all. I really need some advice so here goes..one of my managers at work constantly plays and jokes around with me unlike with any other employee..for example.. he makes sexual comments..he has given me a tight side hug..he gives me compliments ...
A. 2 September 2013: Because men (and women ) like to get their ego stroked, so even if they are happy at home, the WIFE knows him and isn't constantly stroking his ego no more, so to ensure that he still "has it" he will flirt with girls/women who are a non-threat to ... (read in full...)
Is 6 weeks after a break up too soon to date/make out?
Q. I'm an 18 year old girl. I broke up with my boyfriend nearly 6 weeks ago and I'm going on a date with another guy in a few days. Is that too soon/tacky to go on a date with a new guy? Also, how far is too far on a first date? I've met this guy once...
A. 1 September 2013: I think it depends on a few things. 1. how long were you with your ex? 2. How serious were you with your ex? 3. Is the new guy the reason you broke up with him? 4. DO you FEEL like you are OVER your ex?
This new guy is someone you met ONCE at ... (read in full...)
How much will it cost per month to have a girlfriend? Outings,gas, gifts, clothes? I need to factor the cost into my budget
Q. How much does a girlfriend cost per month? Do not bother replying if you say "priceless" or "too much" as those sayings are far too old and a scapegoat. Women, don't bother replying with bs that you are free, and don't tell me that you always pay ...
A. 1 September 2013: I guess it depends on what MODEL of GF you wish to purchase.. The 1.0 doesn't require much maintenance, where as the 2.0 and 2.1 do....
Sorry Sarcasm just snuck in.
Why should you pay for her clothes? And why would it be on YOU to make a GF "lo... (read in full...)
No matter what I do, girls still don"t like me!
Q. What am i doing wrong , girls still dont like me ? Im a junior in hs and alot of girls dont like me . Idk y though , i tried be confident, an asshole, ect. pretty much everything Nothing works !!!! And all my female friends say im real attr...
A. 1 September 2013: Maybe you need to stop trying so hard, it can come across as fake and desperate and.... immature.
You obviously have female friends, have you asked THEM what it is about you that is not "getting" a girl?... (read in full...)
Boyfriend of 3 months has lost his home. Should I let him sink or try to help?
Q. I have been dating someone for three months. He has three children whom he pays child support for as well as paying his own mortgage. Things have been going well between us and he has talked about me meeting his kids, which I am hoping to do eve...
A. 1 September 2013: Honestly, I don't think I would let him move in. It's ONLY been 3 months.
I understand he wants to take care of his kids, but having his house go into foreclosure is not because he missed one or two payments. So obviously this man is in a financia... (read in full...)
Girlfriend is always asking me to striptease on webcam, then gets mad when I give her what she wants.
Q. Hello. I'm very concerned about my girlfriend. She frequently asks for me to do a striptease for her on webcam on MSN. Yet, when I do, or I'm in the middle of the process, there's a change of heart, she panics, and gets angry. She then yells at me...
A. 1 September 2013: You ask:
Also, when a girl frequently does ask for a stripshow, does it mean she wants to initiate something intimate?
Not necessarily. Can be a matter of control. Or testing boundaries. See how far YOU are willing to go.
... (read in full...)
Sister in law wants sex and my wife wants me to give it to her
Q. I'm not a young man anymore. I've had a good marriage so far, at least I though we did. First, my wife and my sister in law were both victims of being raped by their father as teens, it was kept a deep family secret. I'm not sure about this ...
A. 1 September 2013: Goodness no, do NOT go there. It sounds like it will escalate into weirdness. And into guilt and regret for you and hostility from her.
This is not a healthy way to deal with childhood trauma, to screw your Brother In Law.
Honestly it s... (read in full...)
I think I have a physical sexual problem but don't want to tell my mom! What should I do?
Q. I don't know if I should be asking for this kind of advice on here or not but I don't know where to go with it. I'm shy and don't want to speak to/show my mum, but I have a problem with my vagina, i don't know how to explain the problem and i am not ...
A. 1 September 2013: Gynecologist, but you would probably have to go though your doctor or your health insurance. Not sure how that would work in the UK. And ask for a female one.
My guess without knowing what it is you think you have that shouldn't be there, i the to... (read in full...)
My best friend is hanging out with my ex and lying to me about it.
Q. Me and my boyfriend broke up three months ago and right after this he moved away to another town where my "best" friend lives. He and I stayed in touch at first but were arguing a lot so have been in touch on and off for the past three months. We ...
A. 31 August 2013: You can't control other people's actions. But you can control who you want around you. Your friend is a sucky friend and sucky person, not so much for hanging out with your ex, but for lying about it and if it were me, I'd dump her in a heartbeat.
... (read in full...)
It feels like she is trying to play psychological warfare with me!
Q. Recently my gf broke up with me for no real reason at all. But anyways aside from that I have been trying to move on with my life but it’s been really hard. It really feels like she is trying to play psychological warfare with me. She’s flat out ...
A. 31 August 2013: Good for you:) that just shows that you have smart and good friends.
Yep that girl is aiming for more then 6 feet it seems. Don't let her get a raise out of you.
With her behaving like this it might actually make it faster and easier for YOU t... (read in full...)
My long distance is into role playing and its startin to really get to me!
Q. Before I start, I'm going to say that I know part of my worries come from jealousy and maybe even insecurity, but I really just have to ask others to because I know there's more to it than that. Also, it may be hard to read because I'm venting a ...
A. 30 August 2013: What kind of "roleplay" is he involved in that it's SO much more interesting then talking to his GF?
I have to say I think SVC is right, you are just a fantasy for him, someone to "role-play" having a relationship with.... (read in full...)
Is it childish to ignore someone who rejected you?
Q. I have a male acquaintance from home, I've never really known him very well but as we both go to the same riding club I see him quite often and am good friends with a lot of his good friends. It's a big riding club with many people from my old ...
A. 30 August 2013: I think if avoiding him or ignoring him WORKS for you then go for it, I just wouldn't make a big deal out of it.
... (read in full...)
Confused about ex girlfriend's behaviour
Q. I knew her for about a year and I would describe it as off and on. We would talk continually online, email and text. Meeting up as friends, with her eventually coming onto me by making suggestive comments and texts leading to sex. We would la...
A. 30 August 2013: Why bother with this girl?
You both behaved like 15 year old. You didn't like to get used for sex when it was convinient for HER (which I get) she didn't like being called out on her behavior. So she found someone else.
That SHOULD have been... (read in full...)
I hate this job but don't want to be seen as a quitter
Q. Would you quit a job you've been at 4 months if you hated it? I know it hasn't been long but I feel myself wanting to give up and walk out the door some days. I work with infants who are very demanding at a daycare. The crying babies, high ...
A. 30 August 2013: You have tried it for 4 months and it's NOT for you, that doesn't make you a quitter - it means you AT LEAST tried it on to see if it was a fit, and it wasn't.
I would NOT (unless I desperately HAD to) stay in job I didn't like. Working with kid... (read in full...)
Secretive girlfriend! How do I approach this?
Q. Been reading through articles on here and they are very useful. However I need some advice still. My g/f has become extremely secretive with texts and calls over the past month or so. There's a guy she's been speaking to and she has become quite ...
A. 30 August 2013: Next time she asks you what is wrong tell her. You know, that guy *insert name* that you keep texting, and hiding that you are texing - it makes me feel like there is something going on that is not OK. I could be wrong but the way you have been ... (read in full...)
It feels like she is trying to play psychological warfare with me!
Q. Recently my gf broke up with me for no real reason at all. But anyways aside from that I have been trying to move on with my life but it’s been really hard. It really feels like she is trying to play psychological warfare with me. She’s flat out ...
A. 30 August 2013: I agree with Cerberus - ignore her behavior. Be civil, or just polite since you share friends. Don't play her games.
And yes, let her dig her own grave.
How did your friends react to her flirting? Because her flirting with them and blaming you ... (read in full...)
Went on a group date and I'm afraid it blew my chance with the girl I'm interested in
Q. I don't understand my date.My date last night keep sending me messages 3 times in a row after the date. From morning, lunch and just now. I am not attracted to her the way she is into me. I can easily tell she is too much attracted to me. I wa...
A. 30 August 2013: 1. don't use a girl to get closer to another girl, that is a no-no.
2. don't go on a date if you know ahead of time that you are NOT interested in the girl. Tell her you wouldn't mind going as friends, but not a date-date.
3. BE honest.
4.... (read in full...)
Lashed out at a friend, feel awful and need advice
Q. I need a bit of advice from some random people. I have an idea of what I need to do, but I am always open to others opinions. Anyway, where do I begin. I started hanging out with this girl back in February as friends. We literally started doing ev...
A. 30 August 2013: Honestly YOU being mad at her for HER sleeping with someone, having a one-night-stand when that is actually NONE of your business, neither are her morals. Yes, I think you were a complete jerk. You know where she lives send her a card? Snail-mail ... (read in full...)
She forgot that I'd booked a trip for us and made other plans
Q. In March I booked a weekend away for me and my girlfriend, as a gift for her birthday. Now, she knew about it when I booked and apparently wrote it in her diary, the weekend away is next weekend...she's just told me she is now going out that weekend ...
A. 30 August 2013: Wow, I would invite someone else (not a chick though, unless it's your mom/sister) and still go.
She might have forgotten but when you reminded her she should have cancelled whatever other plans she made. Because SHE was told about this a long tim... (read in full...)
My husband is choosing a caregiver over me?? I think he's lost his mind!
Q. I don't know what to make of my life sometime. My husband's mom is in an assisted living facility. She had a particular care giver who tried to get my husband to hire her under the table. So I go to visit his mom because he asked me to check this ...
A. 29 August 2013: Wow.
I'd pack my stuff and go for a long week-end with friends. And then I would look for a good lawyer. There is more going on here then meets the eye. I'd be betting on it.... (read in full...)
He has a girlfriend but she's no good. How can I get him to like me?
Q. Dear cupid, There's a guy at my school my age. Our dads know each other so I know a bit about him. He has a g/f of 9 months. I've liked him for a year so I was gutted to find out he had a g/f. She's so horrid and flirts with his friends. We aren't r...
A. 29 August 2013: You don't. Don't be THAT girl.
You can't just assume that because YOU want him, that you should HAVE him. He is not a cookie. Neither is his GF.
IF they have been together for 9 months then he OBVIOUSLY like her... a lot.... (read in full...)
Is there something wrong with my family? Why can't they be happy for my result?
Q. HI! A year ago a started the toughest job selection on the planet dreaming I would get my dream job. The firm said they would hire 12 people: 6 in Sept 12 and 6 in Sept 14. The competition was ruthless- I had to undergo 3 super selective exams an...
A. 29 August 2013: I'm sorry they aren't more supportive- I think you DID amazing!
I would just stop sharing things like that with them, as for your husband.. really? He should TRY and go though such a selection.. see how far he would get.
Let it roll of your bac... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is pushing me to have a baby with him, but I don't feel for him.
Q. Hi everyone. I've been with my boyfriend for a little under 3 years (I'm 25 and he's 28) and things haven't been too good of late. I say of late, probably about a year..! From the moment we met he made it clear to me that settling down and sta...
A. 29 August 2013: Wow, do not under any circumstances have a child if you do not feel ready or willing. I get it that he want a happy little family of his own, since he didn't have that growing up.
You NEED to end it and walk away, because no one should feel pre... (read in full...)
I need both my husband and my lover
Q. So ive been married for 18 years, we have 4 children all teens. Extremely unhappy since 2007. We always had a sort of toxic relationship. Fighting (just words) , making up, great sex..etc. In 2005 he was involved in a business that required alot of ...
A. 29 August 2013: Also remember you might not be able to use his infidelity as the reason for divorce.
Many states in the US are no fault states, so be prepared for that.
However, alimony might be "easier" to get if you have been out of the job market of a long... (read in full...)
Husband works from home and I hate it!
Q. Hi, Does anyone have a husband that works from home? Mine started recently and I hate it. He makes me feel like the villain but I adore him. I just don't want to spend every second together. He goes to a room as his office but there is still a ...
A. 28 August 2013: Ditto with hubby retiring and being home 24/7.. Giving me tips on how to do laundry and stuff.. I love the man but OH it's annoying.
Thankfully school starts up next week and I start volunteering, so at least one of us get out of the house.
... (read in full...)
I need both my husband and my lover
Q. So ive been married for 18 years, we have 4 children all teens. Extremely unhappy since 2007. We always had a sort of toxic relationship. Fighting (just words) , making up, great sex..etc. In 2005 he was involved in a business that required alot of ...
A. 28 August 2013: You write:
"I can continue this until I get caught. I dont know."
And then what? You need to think of the future. You kids, your happiness, your sanity.
... (read in full...)
Unwanted pregnancy and being called psycho.
Q. I just need an opinion on something that's bothering me. I was with my ex for two years, we broke up in April, he finished with me because I informed him of my pregnancy. He repeatedly told me I'm a psycho.. And tonight I find myself asking "am I ...
A. 27 August 2013: I don't think you are Psycho.
I do think you are crazy ( and not in a literal way) for keep going back to this guy. Keep making excuses for him and letting him walk all over you.
I would keep my head up high and ignore the bugger, he isn't... (read in full...)
What physical act counts as cheating in a relationship?
Q. Hey Just wondering what you guys would consider cheating in a relationship? E.g. A kiss? Oral? ...
A. 27 August 2013: I'm with SVC
My definition of cheating is ANYTHING you can't won't or don't tell your partner. Or won't DO in front of them. (the partner that is).
Kissing can be VERY intimate so that doesn't mean that a kiss means nothing but a blow job does.... (read in full...)
I'm confused by my partner's behavior during sex with other couple??
Q. Dear qupid..... My woman and I started a swinging lifestyle. The first time we got together with a couple we had no problems.... Second time no issues there neither..... Third time was all bad.... We get...
A. 27 August 2013: I agree with SVC
It all sounds very very F'd up.
... (read in full...)
Am I being unreasonable feeling unwanted?
Q. i have been living with my boyfriend for 4 months i thought i'd feel closer to him but i feel even more so like i am second best to his friends/activities. He goes out every friday, watches football every other saturday and plays alot of golf - we ...
A. 27 August 2013: It's good that your man cares and took to heart what yo u said to him.
I have been though depression too and yes, some medications seem to only numb you. And that is not really ideal. But I think you joining a gym will help ( it did for me) work... (read in full...)
What is the best way to handle sexual frustration?
Q. This maybe a silly question.. but its not meant to be in a crude way.. but lately I've been finding I'm very sexual frustrated, understanding as I have been without a partner in 3 years.. but lately this year it has been worse, I keep seeing ...
A. 27 August 2013: Are you looking for a GF at work? Because that is NOT a good idea.
Go out with friends, don't go LOOKING for a GF, but get out and be social, met new people, get a gym membership, pick up a new or old hobby. An who knows maybe you will focus yo... (read in full...)
My g/f makes me wait hours between texts. I don't like her behavior!
Q. hi guys. a few nights ago, my girlfriend came home after spending the night with one of her friends. she texted me "heeey" with a smiley face to let me know she was back. and i replied in about 10 seconds or so. then she disappeared for ...
A. 27 August 2013: I agree with Cindy.
It's (pardon my English) but FUCKED UP when you think you can carry on a relationship through texting.
If you want to talk, CALL her or set up a "date" or meet up and TALK.
I know it's the norm for your generation, but... (read in full...)
I need both my husband and my lover
Q. So ive been married for 18 years, we have 4 children all teens. Extremely unhappy since 2007. We always had a sort of toxic relationship. Fighting (just words) , making up, great sex..etc. In 2005 he was involved in a business that required alot of ...
A. 27 August 2013: You don't need both - you want both.
You buying and using a vibrator doesn't give your husband the right to cheat. You didn't MAKE him cheat. He might have felt emasculated by finding the vibrator, but how did he deal with it? He LEFT you. It ... (read in full...)
Am I being unreasonable feeling unwanted?
Q. i have been living with my boyfriend for 4 months i thought i'd feel closer to him but i feel even more so like i am second best to his friends/activities. He goes out every friday, watches football every other saturday and plays alot of golf - we ...
A. 27 August 2013: Good for you! Glad you talked to him, bottling it up doesn't work.
Have you considered getting help for the depression?... (read in full...)
I loaned my b/f money and now he's not talking to me
Q. Dear Cupid My bf (of 3 yrs) and myself were having probs lately as i have some financial issues and was struggling and i asked him to lend some moeny and told him ill pay it back in 2 months max. Brief background, i gave my bf money a...
A. 27 August 2013: How big of an amount was it? And yes, I would track him down and tell him, dude we need to sit down and work out a payment plan, so you can pay me back what you owe me.
This is something YOU should have done when loaning him the money.
Don't l... (read in full...)
Friend of my ex was put up to break my heart! How do I get over this?
Q. Hey everyone, About 2 years ago,I met this guy at my gym we had the same trainer we started talking,hit it off,he asked me out but from the very start I wasn't looking for anything serious,I made it clear to him..he fell in love with me things g...
A. 27 August 2013: Wow how callous!
Well, how do you get over it? You accept that there are assholes out there who likes nothing better then to make others as miserable as they are.
Don't let their actions and pettiness get to you, best revenge is NOT to hurt w... (read in full...)
Am I being unreasonable feeling unwanted?
Q. i have been living with my boyfriend for 4 months i thought i'd feel closer to him but i feel even more so like i am second best to his friends/activities. He goes out every friday, watches football every other saturday and plays alot of golf - we ...
A. 27 August 2013: You need to stop relying 100% on him for YOUR entertainment. Develop some hobbies or rekindle old hobbies, get out met new people, make some friends.
I don't think it's because he doesn't care, but because he assume you are a "big girl" capable ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend is always asking me to striptease on webcam, then gets mad when I give her what she wants.
Q. Hello. I'm very concerned about my girlfriend. She frequently asks for me to do a striptease for her on webcam on MSN. Yet, when I do, or I'm in the middle of the process, there's a change of heart, she panics, and gets angry. She then yells at me...
A. 19 August 2012: Ask her? Why do you freak out when I strip for you?
Seems rather odd.... (read in full...)
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