Why this man is acting like this? Jealously? Stupidity? Or am I at fault?
Q. Hello, I was wondering if male and female readers would be able to tell me why this man is acting like this? Jealously, stupiidty? or am i at fault? A colleague at work lead me on to think he was single (found out he was married) then lead me on ...
A. 10 August 2013: Because he is an ass.
Yes, he might be jealous, because 1. you turned him down, 2. you caught him in not one bot 2 lies and now... you DARE to have a BF on your own.
I'd be extra careful around this one.... (read in full...)
I overheard someone make a rather unpleasant remark about my appearance and now my confidence is at an all time low!
Q. Hello there. I just need a bit of help guess. The other day I was walking on the train and I walked past this boy with his girlfriend and I heard him make a rather unpleasant remark about my appearance. Now I know I’m not anything special, but I’ve ...
A. 10 August 2013: Be who you are and try not to let others callous comments make your life a living hell.
So you are not looking like a model, neither are most girls. You had a day where you looked a little like crap, so do most girls. Bad hair day, bad skin day... (read in full...)
What do I do?! Do I just pack up and mosey on or wait it out or what?!
Q. About a month ago I started dating this guy from work. Things were going really well. We actually started forming a relationship quite quickly. I would hang at his house all the time. I met his family and closest friends. Things were going great... ...
A. 10 August 2013: Poor Dude!
If you already have apologized then leave him be. IT IS over. And seriously, rethink your behavior. Blowing up his FB? How old are you?
And now you know.. Dating a co-worker is not the way to go.... (read in full...)
I don't want him to fix it, I want him to listen
Q. I've been arguing a lot with my bf lately mostly because every time I talk about things that are happening to me at work or outside of work, he wants to fix everything. He ends up telling me what I should do and want to control me when I'm not even ...
A. 9 August 2013: I think it's typical male to want to "fix" things. I would tell him, I need to vent, that you value his input. BUT I NEED for YOU to just listen.
I don't think he is trying to control you per se, but trying to fix a problem.
Maybe his inp... (read in full...)
I feel unwanted and it's like having sex with a stranger!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together just shy of 2 1/2 years. He's been under a lot of stress lately because we are starting college and because of his job, but stress from school and his job have never been a problem with our sex life until now. ...
A. 9 August 2013: Before you break up - I would actually try and give him a taste of his own medicine, see if he understand what you are saying if you SHOW it. Which means YOU turn HIM down for sex a few times.... (read in full...)
We have something good, but he's married and his wife refuses to divorce him! What should I do?
Q. I met this guy a 5 months ago. We get along well and are still getting to know each other. We have something good. Our previous relationships were painful for both of us and the things they he went through in the relationship were horrendous,...
A. 9 August 2013: It sounds like a gangster movie... and definitely some serious drama I would avoid like the plague. There is nothing in it for you here...
... (read in full...)
I like him, but am I just staying with him until I find someone that I like better?
Q. This is going to sound horrible..but I might as well just go ahead and say exactly what I feel.. I'm dating my boyfriend for 4 months now, he's crazy about me, would do anything for me.. I like him too, I like spending time with him, I care about hi...
A. 9 August 2013: End it. That is just nor fair on him and for that matter yourself. Because YOU might ACTUALLY miss out of someone who really rings your bells because you are to busy "faking" love.
If you after 4 months together don't JUST want him and no one else... (read in full...)
Is she still entitled to her privacy after she has had a clear disrespect for our relationship?
Q. Let me start by saying, I have posted here several times regarding this subject. I asked if it was normal that my girlfriend was occasionally speaking to her exes and kept me a secret to her family. Recently she told her family about me - after...
A. 9 August 2013: YOU need to find out what YOU need from her in order to rebuild the trust.
I would say as long as it is not unreasonable, and she is willing to work past it, she will agree and hopefully you two can work on it.
Keeping you a secret is a no-n... (read in full...)
Why would someone cancel a first date? Male perspective.?
Q. I had met this person twice. The first time we met I was sort of almost judged too soon and we didn't end up speaking that much. The second time we met was by total coincidence at an event. We got to chatting, by that time I had gotten over what had ...
A. 9 August 2013: If he didn't immediately tried to reschedule, then he got cold feet (IMHO) - or at least tell you he'd call on XX day or set up a rain-check.
Sorry, I'd chalk this one up to a "he is just not that into you".... (read in full...)
I took photos of her and the next day she had one of them on her facebook. Does she like me?
Q. Well the other day I took some, pictures of this beautiful girl non nude. In we hit it of great had a fun time doing it. And it's kind of funny, I never had a girl wan't me to take picture's of her. So could she maybe be into me. Because we had a ...
A. 9 August 2013: She liked the picture of herself.... (read in full...)
My GF seem to want her mom-daughter see us have sex!. Why would this be?
Q. My girlfriend seems to be setting things up so that her daughter or her mother see us making love. Is this a more common desire for women than I realized? My girlfriend and I are sort of engaged to be engaged. she surrently lives with her mom and...
A. 9 August 2013:
Talk about INAPPROPRIATE! I think MOST women finds kids accidentally seeing you have sex is a HUGE turn OFF. YOU don't DO that in front of your kids.
I would have a chat about that with her.
... (read in full...)
Is there any way to love someone less?
Q. I love deeply my girlfriend of a year and a half, but I feel she does not love as much as I do. I know she loves me, just not as deeply as I woukd like. has anyone experienced the same thing? is there any way, method so I can love her less and be ...
A. 9 August 2013: How can you measure how deeply YOU love and she love?... (read in full...)
Flirty work colleague refuses to acknowledge my marriage.
Q. Dear all, I request your advice on my situation. In a way it is silly. I am married and very happy about family life. I have this female friend at work whom I like very much. she is 10 year younger than me and is at the age to get married. We are g...
A. 9 August 2013: Stop being friendly, treat her like you do any other colleague.
She DOESN'T have to befriend your wife or even talk to her.
If she is crossing boundaries YOU need to be the GROWN up and shut it down, nip it in the bud.
She isn't a friend - ... (read in full...)
It's been 5 months and I just can't get over my ex
Q. My ex split up with me nearly 5months ago why am I still not over him! I want him back but he doesn't want to get back with me. I don't know what to do as I am still not over him. I think about him everyday and I am just so tempted to pick up the ...
A. 9 August 2013: Do not DATE til you feel you are over him, that is not fair on a guy.
Time will help. No contact will help too.
I want a lot of things in life, doesn't mean I GET them.. Same goes for you. HE doesn't want to get back together.. YOU w... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting by being upset that my boyfriend didn't come to see me when I was ill?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm just looking for some advice on whether I'm overreacting about this or not. I was taken into hospital yesterday with suspected appendicitis. I text my boyfriend of 4 years on the way there to let him know what was happening. When I ...
A. 9 August 2013: Since you were home and in pain, then YES - like I said he should have showed up with some cheer me up flowers and a few hugs, even IF he didn't want to be in the way.. It didn't have to be a long stay..
... (read in full...)
My male friend has been ignoring his female friends since getting back from deployment
Q. Hi, I have been friends with this guy ever since High School. Me and my sister both had a crush on him in past but he just want to be friends. I got more friends back then that we talked that still keeps in contact with him but after he came back ...
A. 9 August 2013: Deployments can change a person. YOU have no idea what he went though with that or with his marriage, so ... honestly.. I would back up for a bit. I know you miss your friend, but give him room to fix his marriage.
If he changed his number a... (read in full...)
I connected with a guy through the internet, he cancelled our first meeting and 2 years have passed since. I'm feeling really down and wonder if I should tell him how I feel.
Q. Close to two years ago, i met a guy online. I took the initiative to send him a message on youtube when i saw his videos about depression, loneliness and anxiety (which i was going through at the time) and when i saw that he lived in the same ...
A. 9 August 2013: STOP all contact if you CAN'T just be a friend. He sees you as just a friend or person he knows on the internet and I suspect that is why he cancelled seeing you in person. Because he guessed you liked him more then he likes you.
Go out and be w... (read in full...)
I'm dating my best friend but she is the only female I'm attracted to. Am I gay, bi or what?
Q. Sorry, lengthy. Recently, my best friend came out to me, and told me that she liked me. Now, that's great and all, but I've never seen myself being with another girl. This lead to me being very confused about who I was, and what I wanted, be...
A. 8 August 2013: Honestly, given you age I won't even begin to guess about your sexuality. It's all still shiny and new and let's not forget all those hormones rushing about.
IF being with this girl makes YOU and HER happy then go for it. You might decide later on... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is making a big issue about the amount of time I spend at the gym
Q. My question is fairly straight forward. Is my gym time too much and can it hinder the relationship I am in? I have been in a relationship for one year with a great girlfriend. We do lots of things together on a weekly basis and really enjoy eac...
A. 8 August 2013: WOW, how passive-aggressive is she? You spend 10 hour a week in the gym and thus you must be gay?
I don't personally think 10 hours a week is bad at all. I DO think having no "personal" life, no hobbies or friends (on her part) is bad because ... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting by being upset that my boyfriend didn't come to see me when I was ill?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm just looking for some advice on whether I'm overreacting about this or not. I was taken into hospital yesterday with suspected appendicitis. I text my boyfriend of 4 years on the way there to let him know what was happening. When I ...
A. 8 August 2013: How long were you there? You were there some hours and then sent home? Personally, I think he explanation is acceptable, that he didn't want to get in the way of your family. Family first.
And you went home the same night. I DO think he should h... (read in full...)
Is it normal for women not to have enjoyed sex when they were teenagers?
Q. This is something that really shouldn't mean anything I guess but I'm just curious about. My ex wife had slept with a guy 7 times as a teenager. She said she never enjoyed it and didn't want to do it.My current wife had slept with 2 guys as a ...
A. 8 August 2013: Usually the reason MANY teen girls never truly enjoyed sex was because the sex they had was with inexperienced TEEN boy. Who though insertion was all that mattered.
I had a pretty decent "sex-life" in my teens ( didn't start to have sex til almo... (read in full...)
Should I wear a bra because my boyfriend think it's too sexual otherwise?
Q. Is it normal that my boyfriend constantly goes on about the fact that I should wear a bra? We've been having a very hot summer so far and I started leaving the house wearing tops but without a bra underneath. He says that it's obscene and ...
A. 8 August 2013: I don't think it's for him to say if you should wear a bra or not. Not his F'ing business. However, like SVC mentioned if you are bigger then an A/B cup wearing a bra is a good idea.
Is it obscene? no, it's quite common (specially in Europe) ... (read in full...)
Should I contact this girl or continue no contact?
Q. I need advice on whether or not I should contact this girl who I really like but who I closed off all contact after admitting she doesn't want to go further with me after our first date. I met her over a month ago on a dating site and I quickly es...
A. 8 August 2013: I agree - she liked the IDEA of you... but not being WITH you. It's like on any dating site people can look pretty DARN perfect on paper... and reality is VERY different.
I know people FEEL all these things with people they DO NOT really know (ta... (read in full...)
My mother-in-law always expects me to accept her offers to help and makes me feel guilty when I don't
Q. My mother in law will offer help and then expect me to say yes... if not her feelings will get so hurt and blame me for being a bad daughter in law and not allowing her to see her son. Me and my husband and 2 kids have been moving around d...
A. 7 August 2013: I would from now on let your husband deal with her, he seems QUITE capable.
It's not that she wants to help, she wants to feel needed and apparently she think only her SON can give her that. Hence why she isn't asking the daughter, because ... (read in full...)
A female in denial of her feelings. Anyone dealt with that?
Q. Im curious. Has anyone ever dealt with a female who was in denial of her feelings? And if so, what did it take for her to get over it and come around?...
A. 7 August 2013: If she is SUCH a denial then maybe you need to let that one go. You can't FORCE her to feel whatever YOU think she should feel.... (read in full...)
I need advice on how to finish with him, how do I break up without him harming himself?
Q. Hello there. Well I’ve been with my boyfriend coming up for three years and I am no longer in love with him. I’m guessing my question is how should I finish with him? I've been putting it off for months now, tryng to find the right time, but we've ...
A. 7 August 2013: YOU need to accept and understand that YOU can not control his actions.
YOU need to end it for you (and in a way for him) he needs HELP.
I would suggest after you break the news to him you cut all contact and let him know to RESPECT that.
... (read in full...)
Cheated on my boyfriend last night and feel so guilty! Should I tell him?
Q. I went out last night and got really drunk. A guy grabbed me and started kissing me and feeling me up and without thinking I started kissing him back. Then he said he would help to get me home safely but he got out the taxi too and we ended up ...
A. 7 August 2013: You suddenly felt guilt when your BF showed up? I think you have to tell him. I think YOU need to let him decide if this is OK or not in the relationship.
You weren't going to tell him? That says a LOT about you.
... (read in full...)
Any tips for coping with feelings of jealousy and insecurity over ex-husband's new girlfriend?
Q. Any tips for coping with feelings of jealousy and insecurity over ex-husband's new girlfriend? I know it shouldn't bug me, and I don't want my ex back, he was a very bad husband (putting it mildly). I think my ex is dating now and the woman I thin...
A. 7 August 2013: You can wish them luck. She will need it.
It is NOT that YOU weren't GOOD enough to make him a good guy. It is not that YOU weren't PRETTY enough to make the marriage last or any other "shortcoming" you might think YOU have.
It didn't work, bec... (read in full...)
My brother's wife cheated and doesn't know who the father of her baby is!
Q. So my sister in law cheated on my brother for two years and now she's pregnant but doesn't know who the baby's dad is. Great! I'm so mad at her I could hit her and mind you i'm not a violent person at all. I've never hit anyone out of anger in my ...
A. 7 August 2013: The only way to know 100% is to do the DNA test once the child is born. However, I don't know which state they are in, but in some states CHILDREN born into a marriage are ASSUMED to be the husband's (legally).
As for the baby... It's a baby, yo... (read in full...)
I love my brother's best friend but apparently he has "too much respect" for my brother to date me.
Q. I've been in love with my older brothers best friend for quite some time now. He will be a senior and i will be a sophmore. He's been a little flirty lately but not enough to say that he feels the same way I do about him. My brother won't give me a ...
A. 7 August 2013: I agree with Tisha 100%.. IF he really IS interested he will make a move, if he was just being polite he won't.
I would suggest you turn down the flirting.... (read in full...)
He's slept with me but he's been hurt before and witholds himself from me - outside perspectives please
Q. I have had a "friendship" for six months. I know the guy has been hurt and takes weed and he knows I want more - he has slept with me and withholds himself (it feels like he is deliberately blocking his feelings but I am not sure if that is wishf...
A. 6 August 2013: I think what you WANT and what he is willing to give are two very different things.
It's not just that he got hurt in the past, but even with his behavior you still hang around, so therefore (in his mind) you accept that way it is.
Find a ... (read in full...)
What is the meaning behind her calling me sweetie?
Q. Recently, I met an American lady on a dating site. She is 50, im 30. We exchanged few messages and she started her last message by calling me "Sweetie". I know Sweetie can be used for someone that you love as lover or consider someone as your son ...
A. 6 August 2013: It's VERY American - honey, hun, sweetie. It doesn't necessarily mean anything further.
And you better be SMOKING something real good if you think she will pony to a third country to have sex with you.. Sweetie doesn't mean I want to jump your bon... (read in full...)
She knows I am married, so why be like this?
Q. I am struggling with temptation right now. A good female friend of mine back from High School who moved back into town has started to become flirtatious towards me like we used to back then....I have been married for 4 years and don't have any real ...
A. 6 August 2013: I forgot to add, you asked WHY be like this..
Because YOU let her. Maybe because SHE isn't in a happy place and she is a "misery wants company type of person". OR she is trying to relive the "glory-days" of high school.
Either way you need to ... (read in full...)
She knows I am married, so why be like this?
Q. I am struggling with temptation right now. A good female friend of mine back from High School who moved back into town has started to become flirtatious towards me like we used to back then....I have been married for 4 years and don't have any real ...
A. 6 August 2013: Tell her if she doesn't cut it out, you are going to cut the contact.
What she is doing is disrespectful to you, your marriage and your wife. (and for you to continue the "game" is disrespectful too, even if it's nice to get YOUR ego stroked.... (read in full...)
When separated from a marriage are you considered single and free to do whatever you want?
Q. When separated from a marriage are you considered single and able to do whatever you want to do? I am separated from my husband. Living somewhere else and not speaking. Looking to get an apartment and move on until the point divorce is possible, we ...
A. 6 August 2013: OK wait and see is going to do absolute nothing for the marriage. If you two SERIOUSLY want to work it out then you BOTH need to roll up the sleeves and figure out how to go about it.
Wait and see.... is not working on it. It's postponing a divorc... (read in full...)
Without my glasses I didn't realise she was much older. How do I extricate myself tactfully?
Q. Dear all, I do not know how I have found myself in this situation... I met this woman at salsa and discovered we work for the same organization. She was kinda pretty and interesting, so I kept in touch with her. We had lunch at the park 5 days ...
A. 5 August 2013: So you are still GUESSING about her age.
If you like her as a person and want to get to know her, then by all means ask her out. If you just want to use her as some kind of "village bicycle" because you have had a dry spell you need to check yo... (read in full...)
He won't let me near his stuff but expects to be allowed to go through mine. Help me!
Q. I am having problems trusting my boyfriend,but he says im crazy my boyfriend used to be very open with his email,his phone,his friends.He would not care if I was on his laptop and his email was open,and would share all his pics with me He wa...
A. 5 August 2013: Good luck, I don't envy your position. It's never fun when a relationship goes from good to bad and you don't notice it till alarm bells start ringing.
I REALLY think you need to talk to him as to WHY he all of a sudden don't trust you. Ask him ... (read in full...)
My married lover's wife knows about us but he still wants to be in contact with me. Why doesn't she just stop him?
Q. I don't know where to begin, I am asking for an opinion, maybe some advice, no cursing or calling me names please. I am already in a lot of pain as it is. I was having a relationship for 6 yrs with a married man. We spoke everyday, saw each other 2 ...
A. 5 August 2013: Stop letting HIM dictate your LIFE.
Yes, people judge you - but trust me they judge him FAR worse. After all HE is the one FUCKING up 2 women lives and you know what? the TWO women just let him.. all in the name of love.
I think you LOVE t... (read in full...)
When separated from a marriage are you considered single and free to do whatever you want?
Q. When separated from a marriage are you considered single and able to do whatever you want to do? I am separated from my husband. Living somewhere else and not speaking. Looking to get an apartment and move on until the point divorce is possible, we ...
A. 5 August 2013: Personally, I don't consider someone who is separated as single. THEY are technically STILL married. If a person truly don't want to be with their spouse, then file divorce and get it done.
THEN I see them as single. Not a minute earlier.... (read in full...)
I'm in not very interested in sex with my fiancée. Should I go ahead with the marriage anyway?
Q. I'm engaged to be married in a few months and I'm having doubts about the whole thing. When I was 19, I got pregnant with my boyfriend at that time and we went to Britain together where I had an abortion and things were never right between us after...
A. 5 August 2013: Have you considered that your lack of sex drive/lust is fear based?
That you (psychologically) connects sex with the whole event (pregnant, scared, abortion) and therefore do not want sex? To me that kind of makes sense.
Have you talked to an... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is asking questions about my past that I don't know how to answer without causing upset!
Q. As per the title my gf likes to try and find out about my past. It sometimes catches up with me, one of her friends is going out with someone who i used to know. Small world. Anyway, my gf has asked me "if i have ever had more than one gf at t...
A. 5 August 2013: Be honest with your GF, sit her down and tell her the truth, not because of a vindictive ex, but because the truth usually have a way of coming out sooner or later.
You can also tell her that you made PLENTY of mistakes in the past and rather n... (read in full...)
My married lover's wife knows about us but he still wants to be in contact with me. Why doesn't she just stop him?
Q. I don't know where to begin, I am asking for an opinion, maybe some advice, no cursing or calling me names please. I am already in a lot of pain as it is. I was having a relationship for 6 yrs with a married man. We spoke everyday, saw each other 2 ...
A. 5 August 2013: He told YOU what he KNEW would keep you hanging on to the "hope" that he LOVES you and only you. That YOU two have a future when you don't.
He tells his wife whatever makes her stay.
And honey, I BET the wife can't figure out WHY you are doin... (read in full...)
He won't let me near his stuff but expects to be allowed to go through mine. Help me!
Q. I am having problems trusting my boyfriend,but he says im crazy my boyfriend used to be very open with his email,his phone,his friends.He would not care if I was on his laptop and his email was open,and would share all his pics with me He wa...
A. 5 August 2013: You can both delete stuff so it's pointless to HAVE to swap phones, you should BE ABLE to NOT have to go though your partners phone and STILL trust him/her.
The question is DO YOU think it will make things better if you DO swap? Will it change A... (read in full...)
He won't let me near his stuff but expects to be allowed to go through mine. Help me!
Q. I am having problems trusting my boyfriend,but he says im crazy my boyfriend used to be very open with his email,his phone,his friends.He would not care if I was on his laptop and his email was open,and would share all his pics with me He wa...
A. 4 August 2013: THAT is not OK, and you need to tell him in no uncertain terms. ASK him why he thinks it's OK to demand this of you.
And then YOU decide if this is an OK way for him to treat you. It will NEVER stop if you don't either end it or nip it in the bud!... (read in full...)
He won't let me near his stuff but expects to be allowed to go through mine. Help me!
Q. I am having problems trusting my boyfriend,but he says im crazy my boyfriend used to be very open with his email,his phone,his friends.He would not care if I was on his laptop and his email was open,and would share all his pics with me He wa...
A. 4 August 2013: You are in change of how YOU let him treat you. JUST because he is your BF doesn't mean he has ANY rights to go through your stuff without YOUR permission. Which mean you can tell him, NO.
Something is going on if this is new behavior. And IF y... (read in full...)
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