Why do guys ask for underwear?
Q. I slept with this guy like more than 5 times. He asked for my underwear twice and on his third ask, I decided, why not? So I gave them to him. I just want to understand this phenomena... why do guys ask for underwear? I'm curious. I just hope I ...
A. 10 December 2013: TROPHY.... (read in full...)
Please help - I found dodgy photos on my boyfriend's computer.
Q. Hi everyone, I'm a bit confused and any insight would be appreciated as I can't talk to anyone else about this. My boyfriend is a sweet guy, I always knew he had a Pervy side but all guys do and that didn't really bother me.... Until I found pic...
A. 10 December 2013: So hoe long do think before he takes creepy pictures of you little sister (if you have one) you mom, you?
It's not OK. It's MAJORLY shady.
I would be creeped out. The fact that he calls it a "power thing" is down right scary. He is invading h... (read in full...)
Was I wrong in turning down invitation to go away with BF and his family this weekend?
Q. I was wondering if I was wrong for saying no to going away with his family for the weekend? I've been in a relationship for just over 2 and a half years and I truly love this guy however the last few months have been really rough...A week can't go ...
A. 10 December 2013: Maybe him getting some time alone and you getting some time alone over the week-end is a good idea.
The thing is you are now BOTH avoiding the issues. Before it was just him. See what I'm getting at?
... (read in full...)
Confusing signals from an ex who broke up with me. What should I do?
Q. I started dating this really awesome guy in august. Things went really well for a month and I started pressuring him to put a title on the relationship. He said he wasn't ready for that and I said I was ok with it but still kept pressuring him until ...
A. 10 December 2013: I agree with SVC too.
He doesn't WANT you as a GF or to be in a relationship with you. BUT he know how (sorry to be blunt) desperate you were to be in a relationship, so he is hoping he can "lure" you into thinking that IF you start being in... (read in full...)
Looking to start a FWB -- any tips?
Q. Hi. I'm a 23 year old gay college student and I'm a virgin. I recently joined adam4adam.com since I'm really busy this school year and I don't really have time for a relationship, but like most my age, I have needs. So earlier today I was talking to ...
A. 10 December 2013: I honestly think this is the dumbest thing you can do. You have NO experience with relationship and sex and you want your FIRST encounter to be with a "stranger" whom you know a little?
I get the whole "I have needs" but you are setting yourself... (read in full...)
I'm feeling inadequate because "my number" is low
Q. This is such a stupid thing I'm feeling. I consciously know it's stupid, but it's still there. You see, I'm dating a new guy after having had a very long, awful relationship. I've only been in that one relationship, and casually with a few guys... ...
A. 10 December 2013: Sorry honey, but the bigger the number of sexual partners doesn't mean you are "better" at it.
The worst "lover" of the 4 men, I have been with was the one with an insane high number. He was selfish and actually pretty clueless.
Instead of wo... (read in full...)
I was expecting another chance for us
Q. I have been hanging out with my ex boyfriend this past month, after being broken up for about 5 months. Yes we are sleeping together, hanging out, acting like a couple. But he tells me today that he is not ready to get back into a relationship. He ...
A. 10 December 2013: This is what happens when you don't TALK about. A whole month.
YOU ASSUMED that because this seemed back to normal that they WERE back to normal, and he KNEW that, but played ignorant in order to have that "GF experience" without having to commi... (read in full...)
What does my ex want? Is he playing mind games?
Q. Hello dear cupid. I need help figuring out what my ex boyfriend is doing. We met and after a month he said he wasn't ready to be in relationship. And I accepted it and told him not to contact me. He didn't stop he kept contacting me. I didn't spoke ...
A. 10 December 2013: Ignore him, block him number if you can. If you can't then just don't answer. Sooner or later he will figure out that you don't want to talk to him.
He doesn't want to date you but expects you to be available to "talk" when HE wants to. BULLSHIT... (read in full...)
I dated a guy who turned out to have a girlfriend. Who, or what, was I to him?
Q. I met this guy three months ago at school. We hit off well and started dating, then he asked me to be his girlfriend. Things went well for the first week we were together, after that he became a little distant and we only saw each other once a week ...
A. 10 December 2013: I have to agree with the other aunties. You were a substitute while his GF was not available.
Like a fantasy. He could court you, woo you and date you because she wasn't RIGHT there.
He is a douche. I have no better word for a guy like that. I... (read in full...)
Advice on how to mentally get in the frame of mind for sex with him when I don't really want it?
Q. Hi, i need help to resume my sex life with my bf after 9 months of no sex please. We have been together 3 yrs, lived together for 1.5yrs after he proposed out of the blue, and have a gorgeous 11month old who he dotes on. We stopped having ...
A. 9 December 2013: First, I would suggest you go talk to your doctor about you non-existent sex drive/libido. Even consider talking to him about having a touch of PPD ) postpartum depression) Secondly, maybe it's time to stop nursing, seems like you are hiding ... (read in full...)
Dont know should I get back with my ex?? Advice!
Q. Hi, So this summer i have broken up with my boyfriend and i told him honestly it is because he is not social enough and kinda boring and because im young i wanna have fun. And he fell in love with me so i kinda broke his heart and of course i felt b...
A. 9 December 2013: Don't date someone out of "pity". You do not love him. Find someone who WANTS to same things as you.
There is a reason you two broke up, that reason is still valid.
It's not like he took copious notes and changed himself totally to be wi... (read in full...)
I've got it all and done it all, so what next!
Q. I am faced with a strange dilemma. I am 31 years old, I made all my childhood dreams come true already, I am recently divorced, have no kids because I never wanted them, men fall all over me, I have a healthy lifestyle, steady job, car, a cat, I am ...
A. 9 December 2013: Like others mentioned, volunteering. Do something that isn't about YOU.
Travel is not always recreational. I'm not talking going to a resort and sipping margaritas. I'm talking seeing places you have maybe heard of but have no idea. And then com... (read in full...)
I had a drunken one night stand when my fiance broke up with me!
Q. I have woken up feeling awful. I just need to vent. 3 months ago I was a normal , happy girl , engaged to my lovely partner, we had our problems but doesn't everyone. A classy, professional , quiet girl, but always laughed and smiled. We had ...
A. 9 December 2013: I think the first thing you need to consider is to NOT drink when you are down. Because clearly you drank more then a couple both times you needed up having sex with someone you knew didn't mean anything to you.
Should you quit your job? No, you ... (read in full...)
The wonderful man turned into a beast, how can I move on from this?
Q. I don't really know why I'm writing on here, maybe just to get some advice on how to deal with it. Me and this man were good friends for 5 years. We met through mutual friends and hit it off straight away but were both in relationships an...
A. 9 December 2013: You know that "beast" you met after 6 months of dating is WHO he is. As a friend the "beast" was easy to hide because you were both in other relationships, so showing you his good side wasn't at all hard.
Now here is the thing, if he had waited 5... (read in full...)
I've got it all and done it all, so what next!
Q. I am faced with a strange dilemma. I am 31 years old, I made all my childhood dreams come true already, I am recently divorced, have no kids because I never wanted them, men fall all over me, I have a healthy lifestyle, steady job, car, a cat, I am ...
A. 9 December 2013: Must be nice :)
Maybe travel? There has to be places in the world you haven't seen?... (read in full...)
Usually men like me but this one is not helping my self esteem.
Q. I have been seeing this man a long time now. He rejects me a lot, he insults my independence and he tells me that I will never have a boyfriend. I can t lie I have said some mean things to him before too. He told me I was not a normal girl and ...
A. 9 December 2013: I agree with Sage & llifton
It's a sick little game you two are playing BECAUSE you let him. YOU want so desperately to be worshiped by him and get his approval, he knows but also knows the minute he gives you that.. YOU will have the upper ha... (read in full...)
We flirted for a while but I haven't heard from him in a week. Time to move on?
Q. So I like this guy at work, and I'm positive he likes me too. He's a little younger than me so I made the first move after a few months of working together. We kissed at work and he brought up hanging out outside of work. Well we texted a couple ...
A. 9 December 2013: Don't crap where you eat.
(with that I mean don't mess with or date co workers) It can all become so awkward and full of drama, which doesn't belong in the workplace.
Could be he has a GF? Could be he didn't mean anything by kissing you, tho... (read in full...)
I want him to make me his girlfriend but he still talks to other women on the dating site!
Q. I met this guy on a dating site a few weeks ago. We've had a few amazing dates and ended up fooling around just a little (no actual sex though). I really like him and we have so much in common, we're so compatible and look great together. The pr...
A. 9 December 2013: YOU just met him a "few" weeks ago. Hold your horses, girl.
YOU might not want to date more then one person at a time and that is fine, but I can't see how you can tell him, to not talk to anyone else now. Because YOU have decided you like him... (read in full...)
Girl on Facebook keeps flirting with my boyfriend. Do I ask him to block her, or tell her to back off?
Q. What should I do about these problems with my boyfriend and a woman on facebook?. My boyfriend has Bipolar Disorder. I don't know if that is matters, but I thought I would mention that. There was a woman who was on his friend's list on facebook a ...
A. 9 December 2013: No, her "liking" his post on Facebook is NOT the end of the world, nor is it your job to tell your BF whom he can have on there as "friends". You are not his mother or the Facebook Police. Facebook "friends are not really friends anyways. IT IS ... (read in full...)
I don't want drama that could poison our relationship around this pregnancy
Q. Hi recently found out that I am about a month pregnant. I am considering abortion since, I am not married, still in school, with exams, thesis to write. I have been with my boyfriend for more than a year, but things are rocky. We broke up about 5 ...
A. 8 December 2013: You will need his support going through this and honestly he MADE that pregnancy as much YOU did.
I would figure out first 100% what YOU want to do then sit him down and tell him. Hopefully he will be supportive of your choice and be there fo... (read in full...)
What is a nice short message to send after a date for friendship?
Q. Say you go on a date and want to maintain a friendship with the person. What is a nice, short sweet message to send, expressing the following: You'd love to stay in touch as friends, without it seeming like you want more (you only see them platoni...
A. 8 December 2013: First of don't use the world LOVE in a "I only want to be friends" message.
Second of all, I would NOT text a person and tell them that I enjoyed their company, but I feel like we'd work out as friends not as a couple.
I would CALL that person... (read in full...)
Which is more important in a partner: being physically attractive, or being good in bed?
Q. I have a general question for everyone. Do you prefer a partner who is good looking but boring in bed, or a partner who is average looking but good in bed?...
A. 8 December 2013: If those are the ONLY two criteria I get to choose from, I'd pick GOOD IN BED.
Having a gorgeous BF is lovely, but if he SUCKS in bed it's like having a freaking Lamborghini and no gas. What' the point?... (read in full...)
Should I tell my housemate that his girlfriend cheated on him?
Q. Basically, I haven't known my housemate for a long time. Only about 3 months and he and his girlfriend have been together for about 7 months. This guy is a wonderful, decent and honest who absolutely adores her. Last night, I discovered from ...
A. 8 December 2013: I would tell him there are rumors going around about it. Because you REALLY don't know what happened, YOU weren't there the GF and the dude bragging about the sex where there, that's it.
If he is a good friend, then YES, I would tell him about th... (read in full...)
Can a guy be really sweet to you and yet not think of you when he's masturbating?
Q. I don't know this has been asked.... How can a guy open doors for you, pay for drinks, stare longingly into your eyes, drive you around, hug you and not think you about when masturbating? It hurts thinking about it. Is it because I'm not...
A. 8 December 2013: You said HE never talked about the sex you had, well WHY didn't you bring it up?
It's not a guys job to critique you or bring up subject that may or may not be hard to talk about. IF it's something YOU want to talk about, then START the conversa... (read in full...)
Bipolar boyfriend invited to his birthday party then I got there and he was drunk and broke up with me!
Q. It's not that I want to ask a question. I just want someone to listen to how I feel, so I'm sorry if I go on. I just came back from my Bf's friends 21st Birthday houseparty, that he invited me to. I told him that I don't think I should come, so...
A. 8 December 2013: In a few days he might call and claim he doesn't remember breaking up and wanting you back, DON'T do it.
CUT the contact with him, because this will become a pattern. He will want something and if it doesn't happen HIS way, YOU are to be blamed. ... (read in full...)
Can a guy be really sweet to you and yet not think of you when he's masturbating?
Q. I don't know this has been asked.... How can a guy open doors for you, pay for drinks, stare longingly into your eyes, drive you around, hug you and not think you about when masturbating? It hurts thinking about it. Is it because I'm not...
A. 8 December 2013: Did he TELL you that he doesn't think of you when he masturbate? OR are you guessing?
Because I DO think it's PERFECTLY normal not to think of your partner EVERY single time you masturbate. Some people NEVER use their partner as masturba... (read in full...)
They said I make them nervous and insecure ......
Q. The last two relationships, well I say relationships, they didn't get past the dating stage, failed because of the same reasons. Both said I make them feel a bit nervous and insecure. I'm a bit worried about this now that both give me the same ...
A. 8 December 2013: Did you not ask them WHY they felt that way? Because we can all guess.
What did you do on the dates? And how did you "play" it? Were the girls someone you knew or "fresh" off a dating site?
My suggestion is, if you have any female friends A... (read in full...)
Men aren't interested in dates these days, they just want to shag!
Q. What is wrong with guys these days?? I am a newly single woman on my 30s. I ve been married for many years since I was 21, and have a teenage son. I meet men often, I started going out, but I don't only meet guys in bars, but just randomly ...
A. 8 December 2013: I only meant not to repeat what isn't working. From what you write, giving your number out to a guy you just met and chatted with leads to them thinking:" OH I just SCORED!!" (And I don't think you give out any vibes or "I'm an easy lay" either) but ... (read in full...)
He tried to stick me with the bill on our first meeting ...
Q. I met this guy who I thought really likes me. We exchanged phone numbers, and few days later he offered to meet. So we go for a walk in one of the cool areas of the city, and we walk and walk, walk and walk, talk and around 2 p.m. I felt naut...
A. 7 December 2013: I'm sorry I wouldn't have paid a dime either. When you said, hey I need to stop and eat something - HE should have said I didn't bring any money. And I would have grabbed a McD/Burger King instead of going to restaurant.
I think it's a REALLY D... (read in full...)
Men aren't interested in dates these days, they just want to shag!
Q. What is wrong with guys these days?? I am a newly single woman on my 30s. I ve been married for many years since I was 21, and have a teenage son. I meet men often, I started going out, but I don't only meet guys in bars, but just randomly ...
A. 7 December 2013: I'm so sorry, I can only say thank goodness I am not in the dating game these days.
I agree with Janniepeg, it DOES seem like (not just) the dating game is shifting towards constant and instant gratification.
Anyhow, I would not give out m... (read in full...)
Should I cut contact with the girls I used to flirt with and focus on the one I really like?
Q. I feel bad about this whole situation, okay there is this amazing girl whom my eyes were always attracted to and I've kept my eye on this chick for months I never made a move, I never even talked to her before and last Monday I was flirting with a ...
A. 7 December 2013: Yep, cut the contact with the girls your flirted with and un-friend/block them, so you aren't tempted to get your little ego stroke from a quick flirt with one of them.
Don't feel bad that you flirted with them the same day you made your move, m... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to think he shouldn't be quite this upset about my past?
Q. I've been talking to this guy who I met through a dating website for 6 weeks now. We became friends on facebook and have been texting for awhile. We've been skyping probably every other day or so for the last month because he lives in a different ...
A. 7 December 2013: I'm 100% with CaringGuy I think he explained it perfectly!
Your numbers, his numbers are IRRELEVANT. For several reason, but the biggest one.. it's something YOU CAN NOT change.
YOU shouldn't feel like you have to lie to a guy or have regrets ... (read in full...)
He has been cheating for eight years, and I have collected the proof!
Q. Hi I've been with the same guy 8 years I've been by his side through the roughest of times i had met him while he was married he left her for me . I've done everything possible to make him happy I've never cheated I've never been attract ed to any ...
A. 7 December 2013: Pack your bags (if you live at his) and leave. Leave the "evidence" on the kitchen table with the spare key and a not saying don't ever contact me.
He was WILLING to cheat on his wife. Someone he GAVE VOWS to, and you find it surprising that he ... (read in full...)
Are there any house proud men out there?
Q. Are there any house proud men out there? My boyfriend keeps his house tidy but it's definitely not as clean as I think it should be. For example the oven and microwave have NEVER been cleaned apart from a quick wipe down so they are thick with ...
A. 7 December 2013: I think a LOT of guys your age have NO idea how to clean. They know the basics about picking up so the house doesn't look like a total dump, but many parents (mom's especially) don't teach they SONS to clean.
I would NOT move in until you two have... (read in full...)
Things are going well with this new guy but I don't know whether to tell him I have a boob job scheduled
Q. Hi aunts, I've been seeing a guy for the last week and we seem to be getting on great and getting quite close. We're going on our third date Monday and already have our forth arranged. We speak everyday and I couldn't be happier right now. O...
A. 7 December 2013: I would tell him you are scheduled for surgery. I wouldn't give details because it's not really information he NEEDS to know til YOU are comfortable with him and SHARING it with him.
... (read in full...)
Third date and he wants me to stay over ...
Q. Dear aunties I am goibg on my third date tomorrow with a guy. First date we kissed, second date we also kissed but he said he had three pints so was not safe to drive. So I said he could stay on the sofa. Then inside he said he wanted to stay i...
A. 6 December 2013: I would just be honest with him.
Tell him that you will take a rain-check on the breakfast. Tell him that you aren't really ready to do "sleep overs" or whatever you want to call it. I would be upfront about wanting to go slow.
I would NOT d... (read in full...)
I'm interested in relationship and not friendship, how do I show that to her?
Q. Hi. I have recently met a lovely girl and I seem to fancy her. She's studying same course as I'm but she joined this year. I have her number and hung out with her, made her laugh and everything seems to go nicely . We seem to get along pretty goo...
A. 6 December 2013: What country is she from that she "can't" date?
... (read in full...)
Am I horrible or justified because their relationship was dead?
Q. I feel like a horrible person. I'm in such a mess. I had a bad break-up and I met a guy online who I poured my soul out to. He was married to a woman who he hated and she hated him. She verbally and sometimes physically abused him (throwing ...
A. 6 December 2013: First of all, it doesn't MATTER how sucky his marriage was/is. CHEATING in never a good idea, and it certainly won't fix a marriage, broken or not.
"Dating" or making out with a married guy (no matter WHAT story he tells you) is never a good ide... (read in full...)
I'm dreading my mother-in-law's visit!
Q. Dreading my mother in law coming from out of state to visit. I've been with husband for six years now and I'm still having issues with his mother. She's never got the chance to know me and has been very judge mental from the start always throwing ...
A. 6 December 2013: I was going to say "kill" her with kindness. Because it makes women like you MIL uncomfortable and less likely to attack you.
But I kind of like WiseOwlE answer.
Though personally, It's not my style. I would have made her stay in a hotel/mote... (read in full...)
When dating, does it REALLY matter when you get intimate?
Q. This is mostly aimed at the men on here but women, feel free to give your opinion and experiences as well. I was wondering when dating and hoping to turn it into a relationship, does it really matter how soon the couple has sex? I have read articles ...
A. 6 December 2013: I don't think there is one "oracle-like" answer to this. BUT I do think it's a good thing to date and get to know each other BEFORE you add sex to the mix.
It also comes down to WHAT you want. Do you want "just" sex? or a relationship? Do you know... (read in full...)
Am I really a horrible selfish person? My mother makes me feel like that. Or is the problem my mother's moods?
Q. I'm a 21 yr old female still living at home with my mother, maternal grandmother, younger brother and cat. On good days I can deal with my mother. She jokes around and she's calm. But on bad days she's easily set off, moody, stubborn. Today ...
A. 6 December 2013: Well it could be hormonal mood swings, it could be SHE is depressed, stressed, financially screwed and hating HER life right now and not dealing with it well.
I would sit her down when she seems in a good mood, and talk to her about how you feel... (read in full...)
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