He says his use of gay sex sites is an addiction
Q. I'm engaged to this really wonderful man. We've been in a relationship for 2 years and counting. We hit off really well as a couple and have had really good times together. The problem started when I discovered that he had online sex chats with ...
A. 22 December 2013: ************* Well, the main problem here isn't that if he's gay or not. The problem is if I should leave or stay and help him out with this addiction problem of his.***********
I would say, you CAN'T help him. Addiction is not for others to fi... (read in full...)
My fiancee is being abused by her mother
Q. Well, I recently found out that my fiancee is being emotionally and verbally abused by her mother. I looked up under section 6 felony. But does this mean that my fiancee mom go to jail or get a warning etc? But this is crazy how my fiancee's mom is ...
A. 21 December 2013: So why not move her in with you? Be her knight in shining armor instead of being so busy going after her mom?
... (read in full...)
Boyfriend storms out because I wasnt in the mood for sex
Q. My bf basically stormed out of my apartment because i wouldnt have sex with him. We've been together for 6 years. Some nights neither of us feel like it (bith tired from work etc) or even he doesnt. No big deal. He kept going on and on about how ...
A. 21 December 2013: Maybe it's the feeling of not moving forward (for you that makes you feel less in the mood?) 6 years and not living together? That is odd to me. Engaged or not. I would say that by then you (both of you) ought to know if you WANT to be with each ... (read in full...)
Sex doesn't feel good for me, why?
Q. I have recently lost my virginity... We have had sex 3 other times since then. It does not fee; good for me whatsoever, its not really painful unless he goes deep inside but I'm curious if its normal that Im not enjoying it yet. I just feel Im too ...
A. 21 December 2013: Sounds like whomever you are having sex with doesn't know about foreplay and how to get YOU fully in the mood. Some guys don't "get" that there is more to sex then penetration.
My advice IF you don't FEEL like it's pleasurable tell your man that... (read in full...)
I want to send my friend a letter
Q. Hi guys im really confused and in a place where i require some sort of guidance at the moment, I'm thinking of sending this to a friend who lives in Victoria (I live in Western Australia) and we've known each other for six years whereas she hasn't ...
A. 21 December 2013: I agree with iAmHereToHelpYou
It's a pretty bitter and petty letter.
DO not send it. Just know that she isn't worth it. Find new friends. Even if she DID start to talk to you it would be the same show every time she got a new BF.. So why both... (read in full...)
He loves me but crushes on her!
Q. Hi, I have a boyfriend for a few months. Before we got into the relationship, I knew about the fact that he had a crush on another girl for quite some time before he fell in love with me and decided to confess. Even now, he still has feelings ...
A. 21 December 2013: Having a crush is NOT love. It's more of a fantasy.
Still doesn't mean it feels nice knowing he has a crush on someone else.
Not sure why he felt he had to tell you if he has no intentions towards her.
Now if she was a famous person I wouldn... (read in full...)
She got so drunk she can't remember hours of her night out!
Q. my girlfriend of a year and a half went out last night on bourbon street in new orleans with her brother and got black out drunk and seperated from him. said she doesn't even remember how she got back to her hotel room this morning and can't recall ...
A. 21 December 2013: Bourbon Street is FILTHY. I am pretty sure she meant is as a joke. That place is jam packed with drunks who puke everywhere.. NASTY. (just saying)
Did she cheat? I don't think so, unless she woke up naked next to a stranger. I would be more wor... (read in full...)
How do I know if he wants me for anything more than sex?
Q. I met this guy at a nightclub when all my friends were busy dancing etc. He approached me as he saw that I was on my own and I liked him so agreed to dance. I try to be subtle and genuine with people. He is currently working in the auto industry...
A. 21 December 2013: You can't go by one evening at a night club. People are often more "courageous" and "flirty" in the dark and after a drink or two.
Set up a date, see how he is in the day light. MAKE it a public date, no going home to either place. If you still fe... (read in full...)
He was still trying to see me while he has a girlfriend!
Q. I was dating my ex for 3 months, I broke it off with him. While I was being completely honest, faithful and trustworthy in the relationship he was not, he lied to me about not having social media sites and I basically caught him lying, not to ...
A. 21 December 2013: You already knows that he doesn't give a shit about how he treats women, not you, nor his GF. HE DOESN'T CARE.
I understand that you WANT to make him understand what he is doing is wrong. BUT that is like telling a sharp rock in a stream that it ... (read in full...)
She didn't seem like a virgin when we had sex!
Q. I have not too much experience with girls, Ive been dating this girl for a while. We dated and we had oral but not nothing further. then after a few dates later she finally decided to have sex with me. Not long ago she told me she bought online a ...
A. 20 December 2013: I assume with you waste knowledge of virgins you would know that NO TWO women feel or ACT the same at their first time having sex.
OBVIOUSLY the girl you had sex with ins't shy about sex or shy about exploring her sexuality or trying a toy.
... (read in full...)
Did she lost her virginity to a dildo?
Q. I have not too much experience with girls, Ive been dating this girl for a while. We dated and we had oral but not nothing further. then after a few dates later she finally decided to have sex with me. Not long ago she told me she bought online a ...
A. 20 December 2013: You should STOP having sex with anyone, because no matter what you will think they are not as they are supposed to be. YOU will NEVER be satisfied with a partner if you SPEND all your energy OVER THINKING stuff. THAT in turn will make your dates ... (read in full...)
He said he would have to think about whether he was serious about a relationship at all, now I'm confused about how to handle this!
Q. I met this guy online, we dated for for about 3 mos...and he honored my request to take it slow.. cos i really liked him and he likes me too.We would talk for hours..have intimate conversations and made out few times.He asked me if I would get ...
A. 20 December 2013: I don't think 3 months is too soon. I think you were smart in being honest. He asked about sex, and you told him the truth as you see it.
You could have told a lie, had sex and ended up getting hurt.
Let him figure out IF he is interested in a ... (read in full...)
I don't know how to save our relationship!
Q. Dear Cupid I am with my bf for 3 years. I am still not feeling secured in the relationship, he often throws words like im bored with u, i would like to take a break, i would like to hug my boss (lady) very tight, my lady boss has big b..bs, thing...
A. 20 December 2013: I don't think you CAN save it. It's doomed because he treats you like a doormat and you just take it.
He seem to have zero respect for you. Why are you with him? What exactly is that you love about him? It certainly can't be the way he treats y... (read in full...)
Do you think it's okay to wish my ex Happy Christmas next week?
Q. I dated someone I was really keen on for a couple of months, however she broke up with me because I had to move away. She said an LDR was too hard and she wanted to be friends as she said I was still important to her. I got annoyed and we didn't end ...
A. 20 December 2013: I'm not sure I see the point in you wishing her Merry Christmas, but if you want to for no other reason then to extend Christmas wishes to an ex I can't see why not.
... (read in full...)
If I sleep with him, am I just setting myself up to get hurt in the end?
Q. This guy I like has a girlfriend and two kids and so I thought I'd never have a chance with him. We text a lot, and he started asking me sexual questions. I'm a virgin, never done anything. Well he asked me to send him pictures, naked pictures to be ...
A. 20 December 2013: Sorry, but having sex with him would be the DUMBEST thing you can do. (well, one of the dumbest things). He should be OFF LIMITS - HE HAS a gf and two small children. You need to CUT the contact, because honey, all he wants is to pop your cherry and ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend lied about going on holiday ...
Q. Hi I need a bit of help my boyfriend has recently to me he going on holiday to tenireffe with his friend. But the day he booked it he told me he was going to his sisters and it wasn't until five days later in an argument he told me where he was ...
A. 19 December 2013: This is not some simple little white lie. THIS is rather a BIG one.
Why on Earth would he not tell you that he is going on holiday with a friend?
This is not about cheating, or MAYBE he will cheat - this is about him not having 1 iota of respec... (read in full...)
Still sleeping with my ex but don't feel guilty for sleeping with others as well
Q. Hi- I'm currently single, but i'm still sleeping with and hanging out with my ex-boyfriend. We act very much as a couple, and still say I love you to each other, but we ended the relationship for good reasons, hence we are hesitant about rushing ...
A. 19 December 2013: I agree 100% with You Wish
I don't really see a lot of "love" for each other in your submittal just mutual familiarity and usefulness.
IT IS way easier to go back to a familiar ex and have sex , cuddles and empty words then having to move o... (read in full...)
I told him how I felt and he confirmed he didn't feel the same -- what now?
Q. I told a guy how I feel about him over facebook. I told him all the things I admire about his character and how I wish he strives well next year in university (he'll be about 600 miles away). I knew how he felt (or didn't feel about me) but it hurt ...
A. 19 December 2013: He isn't required to feel the same way as you did, but he DID tell you in a REALLY nice way that he likes you, but ONLY as a friend.
I would let HIM take the lead in the contact and if it gets to HARD for you to be friends (because you like him... (read in full...)
He says his use of gay sex sites is an addiction
Q. I'm engaged to this really wonderful man. We've been in a relationship for 2 years and counting. We hit off really well as a couple and have had really good times together. The problem started when I discovered that he had online sex chats with ...
A. 19 December 2013: I too find it hard to believe that he is straight. I could believe it he only WATCHED some gay porn here and there, but signing up for gay sites and swapping pictures, well THERE IT IS. He is without a doubt (in my mind) bisexual.
This is not some... (read in full...)
Should I ask my boyfriend about his ex?
Q. I'm in a kind of confusing situation. When my boyfriend and I first started dating I know he was still talking to his ex girlfriend all of the time and at that time I thought he maybe still had feelings for her, despite him saying he didn't. ...
A. 19 December 2013: I don't think it's a problem if:
he isn't hiding it.
he isn't still carrying a torch for her.
Personally, I think exes belong in your past and I don't see a huge need to talk to them, however, I do occasionally (maybe 1-3 times a year) "ta... (read in full...)
Would you romantically date a co worker even if it was against employer policy?
Q. I work at a school where most of the teachers are female and many are single. As a single male I'm attracted to a few of them but I never show interest or do or say anything to alert them to my interest. 1 of these teachers has invited me to her h...
A. 19 December 2013: Dating a co-worker is a big no-no for me. If it doesn't work out the awkwardness and the possibility of drama is HUGE.
And part from the no dating policy, do you know what the repercussions would be? Would one of you have to resign? Because ... (read in full...)
I cheated on him, once. Yet I can't picture my life without him. What do I do about my guilt?
Q. I'm about to get married to my bf of 5 years I do love him very much and I am very happy that we are going to get married, but I am having second doubts about getting married, because I am guilty of cheating on him once in the past, while we were ...
A. 19 December 2013: Sorry, you OWE him the truth before you marry him.
Truth have a way of coming out a little at a time. How would he react if he found out without you telling him, you think?
... (read in full...)
Would you say it is rude to ask visitors to take their shoes off before entering your home?
Q. Would you say it is rude to ask visitors to take their shoes off before entering your home? I have a small wooden sign hanging up in my hallway saying "Please remove your shoes," and am wondering if this may appear rude. I wouldn't throw a tantrum ...
A. 19 December 2013: I don't think it's rude, but not everyone is going to notice the sign. So you might have to tell them.
We have a shoe caddy at the front door and on the side door ( when you come in the front door there is a door to the basement right by..) we... (read in full...)
What do women in particular think of a guy who's 30 and never had a girlfriend?
Q. Anyway, I want to hear some opinions. Guys are welcome to comment, but I think that girls may be able to offer me some valuable insight as to what exactly my problem is, and whether or not anything can be done about it. I've always been rath...
A. 18 December 2013: I love the Swimming with Sharks analogy WiseOwlE mentioned and I think he is spot on with his advice.
I do think that being around women ( no actual need to interact if you don't want to) is a good approach. So is the mini-make over.
If you ... (read in full...)
He wants to go "no contact" after our breakup but the pain is unbearable for me
Q. hello, I need some advise. I am in the in the mids of breaking up with my bf with whom I am with for 4 years. Is there anyone there who could help me lessen the pain a bit? I have read everywhere that the no contact rule should be applied but I do...
A. 18 December 2013: As much as it hurts, this IS the way for you to move on.
You are doing good! And you are doing the right thing. HE can not and WILL not give you want you need/want from him, so setting YOURSELF free is really the best option.
Good luck and... (read in full...)
I'm disappointed my boyfriend's thoughtless Christmas gift to me!
Q. I accidentally stumbled across the Christmas gift my boyfriend got me (it was addressed to me). It was a very wide, hot pink watch with a heart-shaped face, from a mid-range brand. I'm a little confused, because we have been together for 1 year and ...
A. 18 December 2013: I would play it gracefully but honest. Honey, that is a lovely thought, but not at all my style, I don't want to be rude but can we go exchange it for something more my style?
Maybe he got advice from someone else. My guess is he wasn't paying a... (read in full...)
My wife had affairs and I forgave her but now I want a divorce. Should I do so?
Q. The nightmare started when I came to know about her affairs. My wife was not even sure whether the child belongs to me or not. The DNA result claims that its mine. I was deeply in love with my wife, that I wrote her name on my body thru tattoo...
A. 18 December 2013: It all sounds like one big mess, BOTH of you are guilty at doing things that doesn't belong in a marriage, whether you hide them or not.
It's so toxic and sickening that you two have a child and RAISE a child though all this. And all YOU think of... (read in full...)
I feel so used -- he dropped me as soon as we slept together
Q. Hello, I understand this is probably a trivial and common question, but it is really getting me down as this has never happened to me before. I met this guy and we got talking, we had a in depth conversation and he was really sweet. We changed ...
A. 18 December 2013:
He is a tool. He knows how to act nice LONG enough to get a girl to sleep with him, after that, well he THINK he got what he wanted.
Don't beat yourself up. But in the future, DATE a guy long enough that you KNOW him well enough that you BOT... (read in full...)
History with two older men, but right now I want neither of them
Q. I am currently depressed and honestly, I deserve it. I created an incredible mess. I was 18 when I met 33yr old "Jack" and though I didn't mean for it to happen, he became my first lover but he wanted to commitment. I was hurt but stuck by because I ...
A. 17 December 2013: First of all TELL them both the BACK off and leave you alone. Second of all find a grief counselor. Having an aborting you didn't really want needs to be dealt with and it's hard to do that by yourself.
You NEED to stop beating yourself up. If y... (read in full...)
Why do men send photos of their genitals to women they barely know?
Q. Okay, inquiring minds must know. This appears to be a relatively new phenomenon, but in all seriousness, why do men send pics of their penises to women? I'm not talking about if you're in a committed relationship or if the girl ASKS for it. I'm...
A. 17 December 2013: Yes, Dick Pics are not really anything new. I think men assume that women will get excited and instantly drop their panties and bend over.
It's the new age of technology, don't call or meet up, you TEXT through your relationship, you break up... (read in full...)
Met a girl, suddenly she's super cold towards me
Q. I met a girl would a month ago through some mutual friends. We talked for a bit and exchanged numbers. We started texting daily and I began the long study period for my law school exams, so my social life became nonexistent. After about tw...
A. 17 December 2013: She sounds "high-maintenance" and not in a good way. Seems like all she wanted was for YOU to do the chasing and then she backed off.
She didn't believe you when you said you were busy with studies and she DEMANDED that you come see her? And then... (read in full...)
How can I build trust and meet new people after being lied to
Q. It's been a few months since I've been on here and really appreciated the mass of advice I got last time. After months of secrecy and lies about who she was meeting and speaking to I plucked up the courage and dumped here. Her excuse being that she ...
A. 17 December 2013: How do you start trusting again?
Slowly.
If you met a girl and start dating GO SLOW. Don't BRING up the past trust issues constantly, because IT IS NOT her fault.
YOU HAVE to remind yourself that you CAN NOT hold a future GF/friend RESPONS... (read in full...)
Given his history is it unreasonable to tell him not to go to the stag party?
Q. Am I being unreasonable? My boyfriend of 19 months is best man at his best friend's wedding next year . I said he shouldn't go on his stag doo because on past ones my boyfriend went on he went with three different prostitutes when they all went...
A. 17 December 2013: So in your eyes it's better for you to ACT like his mom and tell him :" you can't do this or that"? You really enjoy to micro manage your BF? And IF you say you can't go, what do you think (realistically) he will say or do?
What kind of relation... (read in full...)
Do I reply to his lovely response?
Q. Hello aunties and uncles I was friends with a man for over 5 years, he's 3 years younger than me.. During the first 6 months we had a fling, and then we became just friends. I fell in love with him and all the way through our friendship I yea...
A. 17 December 2013: Don't respond. His answer was lovely, yes, but if you start replying your will get your hopes up that he might feel more then he does and YOU will get heart broken all over again.
If you can't HANDLE JUST being his friend the let it go.... (read in full...)
He wants to split EVERY expense we incur as a couple and it's causing problems in our relationship
Q. Help needed!! My boyfriend of 6 months ls all for equality to the point that it makes me miserable. Before anyone says that I probably like when guys pay for me, let me give you a little background. We both young professionals , I am 5 y...
A. 16 December 2013: You know he is pulling the "I had an ex who did this" card - so that YOU will try and PLEASE him by NOT doing (whatever it is, in this case take him for his money). It's SIMPLE manipulation.
I dated a guy who told me his ex gf hated condoms ... (read in full...)
Help, how can I fulfill my sexual urges without losing my self respect?
Q. I don't know if you have heard of the relationship advice book 'the rules' but if you have you will understand when I say I'm a strict rules girl. I've been out of my healthy, good relationship for 5 months now, we split due to being busy building...
A. 16 December 2013: I think you need to toss the "Rules" out the window.
It's a book in game playing for women. It's going back to the "prehistoric" times where men "club" and "chase" and women play hard to get. Yes, I've read and honestly I laughed more then I h... (read in full...)
I feel like one in a long line of women!!
Q. Please help me I am screwing myself up and my relationship. I am 34 and boyfriend is 45. We have been together for a very happy 18 months and living together for one year. He is the best boyfriend I have ever had but I am so close to losing him ca...
A. 16 December 2013: You write:" I feel like one in a long line of women!!"
well, YOU ARE.
It's called having had a life and a past. He is not some 16 year old with a BUNCH of exes - he is a 45 YEAR old man who have had a life before he meet you.
Is he YOUR firs... (read in full...)
His weird behaviour makes me curious!
Q. 2 Weeks ago I met someone through a common friend. Lets just call him G. G is a good looking guy, kind and always a gentleman almost to everyone. He never failed to say hi or message me almost everyday. So I always thought of him as a friend...
A. 16 December 2013: Since you only knew him for 2 week, I think he WAY overreacted and honestly HE would be a good fit with your drama-llama friend, but his loss.
Maybe he thought (since you met through friends) that THEY SET YOU two up. And he felt dumb finding ... (read in full...)
Is this creepy or flattering?
Q. Hey, everyone. So, I'm having a problem with this guy that I just met. He's a very sweet guy, but sometimes the things he says are just plain overboard! I gave him my number and we started talking. But, he came right out and said that he liked me...
A. 16 December 2013: First of all, I agree - if you are on a BREAK you don't go around chatting up other dudes. Even if you thought you could keep it purely platonic, because as you have found out, you can't control the dude's feeling and actions. Obviously he IS NOT ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is still friends with a woman he had sex with. Do I have the right to tell him not to stay friends?
Q. I've been in a relationship for over a year woth my boyfriend and we just had a disagreement because he recently told me about a women he slept with and still friends with. He says that she has always been their for him and has been a good friend. ...
A. 16 December 2013: You CAN tell him, but is it your "right"? No. I think you are BOTH grown people and you should be able to trust each other and respect the fact that HE is capable in being "just" friends with that woman. If you have doubts about THAT, then why are ... (read in full...)
He wants to go "no contact" after our breakup but the pain is unbearable for me
Q. hello, I need some advise. I am in the in the mids of breaking up with my bf with whom I am with for 4 years. Is there anyone there who could help me lessen the pain a bit? I have read everywhere that the no contact rule should be applied but I do...
A. 16 December 2013: Go no contact not for his sake but for your own and then IF he tries to contact you, IGNORE it. Don't let him have ANY more say in your life.
It won't be easy to get over this guy, but going no contact will make it "easier" for you.
He was ... (read in full...)
Can someone who fell out of love fall back in love?
Q. My bf of 2 years just broke up with me with saying, he fell out of love. He tells me this has been going on for a few months and he doesn't think he can recover from it. He was so much in love with me. I was the center of his attention. We talked a...
A. 16 December 2013: Sounds like he liked the FANTASY of marriage more then the possibility of reality.
chin up honey.
It's nothing YOU did.... (read in full...)
Can someone who fell out of love fall back in love?
Q. My bf of 2 years just broke up with me with saying, he fell out of love. He tells me this has been going on for a few months and he doesn't think he can recover from it. He was so much in love with me. I was the center of his attention. We talked a...
A. 15 December 2013: I don't know if it can be revived, some people think a break can help - distance makes the heart grow fonder - personally I don't believe needing breaks to make a relationship work.
I would give him his space. And yourself.
Just don't fa... (read in full...)
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