What do I need to do about the fact that I seem to attract verbally abusive men?
Q. This evening I ended my relationship with a guy who was becoming more and more verbally abusive towards me. I told him I couldn't take any more. He got into the habit of calling me names and making personal put downs about my appearance and ...
A. 10 January 2014: Be more invest in YOURSELF then any man, at least til you know him and his personality.
By 3-6 months is usually when a persons "true" personality shows through - specially when dating (for some it's earlier but usually that is the time period).... (read in full...)
Does my ex still love me? He got a new Gf. Yet now he will not leave me alone.
Q. Does my ex still love me ? Hi everyone. Thanks for looking even if u don't read it all. Well basically to cut long story short. I was with my ex about 6 years, we split up due to arguing all the time and we ended up hating each other becau...
A. 9 January 2014: He has a GF - all he wants from you is sex. You gave it up before, maybe you will again (at least that is what he is thinking).
The fact that 1. he HAS a GF and 2. He is avoiding the subject of working it out, pretty much shows that all he sees ... (read in full...)
What do I need to do about the fact that I seem to attract verbally abusive men?
Q. This evening I ended my relationship with a guy who was becoming more and more verbally abusive towards me. I told him I couldn't take any more. He got into the habit of calling me names and making personal put downs about my appearance and ...
A. 9 January 2014: How soon into a relationship does it start? How long do you "take" it? And why?
And do you attract them? More likely you are ATTRACTED to guy who are not "bad guys" but have that side.
You told the most respect ex about the previous guy. So... (read in full...)
I've moved on, so why do my ex's actions bother me?
Q. Hi, I'm 18 and about a year and a half ago I split up with my first love who I lost my virginity to and had been with on and off for about 2 years. He was horrible to me, he would finish with me every few months but then use me for sex even though w...
A. 8 January 2014: I would be more upset about a FRIEND having sex with this douche. I assume you TOLD your friends about how he treated you? And then they STILL had sex with him?
Maybe it's because some of the bad stuff you allowed is resurfacing when you hear abo... (read in full...)
I don't want to get back into a relationship because of his drinking.
Q. Ok, so me and my boyfriend broke up four months ago. He broke up with me because I didn't approve of his drinking and getting drunk. He kept it a secret and I just happen to find out. We dated for a month and a half, but we texted for a month before ...
A. 8 January 2014: I agree, just stay away and avoid contact, if he calls/text you - then either ignore it or tell him you don't really want to talk to him.
You were only together 1 1/2 month? It's not really something to pine over. Even if he was your first. ... (read in full...)
How slow is too slow in dating? Her response led me to believe she wasn't interested
Q. I met a woman on one of the online dating sites. Our first meet up was on a Monday for dinner. We hit it off pretty good and she said so herself. I asked her if she would like to go out a second time to which she replied "yes". With that I asked her ...
A. 8 January 2014: How long are you going to wait for her to set a date for the second date? Do you two still "talk" (text/phone)? Or was a great date and then silence?
I don't think asking for a second date (when the first went well) at the end of the week (like yo... (read in full...)
Is he potentially an abuser?
Q. dear cupids, my boyfriend hits his sister, and i fear that a man capable of hitting his sister will hit me too in the future. i explained my fear to him yet he did not promise to stop it, he simply danced around the subject promising that h...
A. 8 January 2014: Start telling yourself you DESERVE better. Hopefully you will accept that as the truth and believe it.
I understand that your culture is different from mine, but no person should settle for a partner that isn't worthy of YOUR love.... (read in full...)
How can he determine that there is "no chemistry" after just two dates? Is that possible?
Q. I met this guy two weeks ago and he came up to me and introduced himself. We talked on facebook for a day and he asked me for my number, he ended up calling me and we talked on the phone for three hours. He texted me everyday first and every night ...
A. 8 January 2014: I don't think meeting up will do anything for you. Other then him either being a no-show, rude or as vague as she was when he ended it.
I can understand it hurts to be "dumped" before you barely got started, but isn't it better it happened... (read in full...)
Three months of dating and the honeymoon is over???
Q. I’m currently in relationship with my boyfriend and we’ve been together for 3 months. We meet up every weekend in the day. I am feeling insecure in the relationship and I am worried the spark has gone. I feel like the honeymoon period is over and ...
A. 8 January 2014: I don't think it's the honeymoon that is over, he is just not able to maintain a expensive date and phone contract. You know he is broke, yet you still expect to be wined and dined?
It could be he is drifting away because he feels he can't af... (read in full...)
My friend is marrying my brother and doesn't want to talk to me anymore!
Q. My friend started to date my brother some time ago, they started to plan for a baby and she's now pregnant, and they recently got engaged as well. We all spent Christmas together, but somehow things just seemed.. weird. I was looking forward to ...
A. 8 January 2014: S things aren't great for her, but even before it went downhill he distanced herself?
Yea, I would regard her as a stranger your brother is dating/engaged to.
Focus on your REAL friends, she apparently isn't one.... (read in full...)
Is it possible that after all this time the doctor still likes me and wants to see me or is it purely professional?
Q. Hi All, I apologise if this is long, I am a 35 year old woman and 1 year ago I had a few issues with a dislocated finger that needed operating on, I was referred to a surgeon and instantly I could see he was attracted (staring at me (eyes) or while ...
A. 8 January 2014: I would regard him as the professional he is and not make a Bollywood movie out of a doctor's visit.
Like Brokenv said, it's an appointment, not a date.
... (read in full...)
Girls, what is your own preference with regard to your own pubic hair? Full bush, trimmed, landing strip or completely bald?
Q. Dear Moderator, I went through the questions. Most are what about what the other sex likes but I can't find one where the women answered for themselves. I shave myself smooth because I like it that way myself (not because my man requested it). Jus...
A. 8 January 2014: Trimmed landing strip. Personally, I think bare is for prepubescent girls and porn stars - but whatever floats your boat really.
I have shaved fully for a while but the stubble were too annoying.
I'm European, so body hair is not a big deal. ... (read in full...)
What would you consider cheating?
Q. I have a question for everyone. Would do you consider as cheating? I am divorced and single and have started dating again. I am talking to a new guy mostly texting and he is very interested in me but is uneasy about me talking to other guys he consi...
A. 8 January 2014: Don't try too hard to be "in love" with a person you ONLY message and text. I'm being serious here. You said he pulled back after he KNEW you "loved" him. Well, that COULD be the reason he pulled back. It could also be that he wasn't really LOOKING ... (read in full...)
How can he determine that there is "no chemistry" after just two dates? Is that possible?
Q. I met this guy two weeks ago and he came up to me and introduced himself. We talked on facebook for a day and he asked me for my number, he ended up calling me and we talked on the phone for three hours. He texted me everyday first and every night ...
A. 8 January 2014: Move on.
I think it has less to do with chemistry and more to do with him realizing he didn't want to be in a relationship. And if a person isn't sure they WANT a relationship it is better to walk away then go further and fall harder and THEN fin... (read in full...)
What would you consider cheating?
Q. I have a question for everyone. Would do you consider as cheating? I am divorced and single and have started dating again. I am talking to a new guy mostly texting and he is very interested in me but is uneasy about me talking to other guys he consi...
A. 8 January 2014: What would I consider cheating?
Any social interactions you can't do in front of your partner. And yo me partner means EXCLUSIVE and COMMITTED relationship. Not just different guys you chat with.
However, with that being said, I would to... (read in full...)
Fingering sometimes hurts.
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year now and he's fingered me quite a bit. We're both virgins, so he was only inserting ome or two fingers at the most. About a week ago we tried three fingers but it was really sore so we stopped. I'm ...
A. 8 January 2014: Well for one STOP with inserting. It honestly don't do much for a vagina and certainly not much for a finger.
There is SO much more to your body to stimulate then the INSIDE of your vagina. You say he play with it til you are wet, well wet does... (read in full...)
He suffers from depression and is overwhelmed, is it normal to withdraw completely?
Q. I posted a question yesterday about the man I am dating and him wanting space. It seems that either my question was pushed off the board too fast or know one feels the need to help? This is my first time to a forum like this and I was hoping for ...
A. 8 January 2014: 1. Don't make promises you aren't feeling 100% comfortable making (such as you will wait for him and not date others)
The guy is depressed and NOT getting help? If so, there is nothing YOU can do to fix the issues. IT'S ALL on him.
WHY are... (read in full...)
My friend says she wants to change. How can I help her see the difference between being friendly V flirty towards others?
Q. I have been friends with my best friend since I was in 6th grade. We're both seniors in high school now. But slowly my friend has less and less people who want to talk to her and when asked why they say because she's a kiss-ass and she's a major ...
A. 8 January 2014: You can't - she is in total denial about her behavior.
Or ask her if you got her permission to record her so she can see it for herself and then record it when she isn't noticing and then play it back to her later.
My guess is she thinks she i... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is bringing me down, what should I do?
Q. I am on the verge of leaving my boyfriend of 9 months. It's been a rocky road as he is going through a divorce. There is no love lost but he can't seem to get things sorted out even though his ex has a new family. He is very up and down and was...
A. 8 January 2014: I think he is taking all his anger and frustration (with life and with the divorce) out on the one person who "lets" him get away with it - and that is... YOU.
I would back off. There are things going on in his life that he has no control over and... (read in full...)
Do most guys like performing oral sex on women?
Q. Hi Everyone, I'm hoping you can provide me with some insight here! I have been with my boyfriend for a year and he almost never goes down on me. In the 10 months we've been sexually active, he's gone down on me maybe 5 times. I can't figure ou...
A. 7 January 2014: 69.
That simple, while you give him a little head as foreplay he gives you a little munch at the same time.
Could be though, that he isn't a huge fan of it. Not all men are and not women are either.
It should NEVER be a tit for tat game. I... (read in full...)
Is he potentially an abuser?
Q. dear cupids, my boyfriend hits his sister, and i fear that a man capable of hitting his sister will hit me too in the future. i explained my fear to him yet he did not promise to stop it, he simply danced around the subject promising that h...
A. 7 January 2014: You can't FIX him (unless you are talking about neutering, but I somehow doubt that)... He doesn't SEE what he is doing is wrong. He feels ENTITLED to do what he does (beat his sister and cheat).
It's like trying to empty the Ocean using a tea sp... (read in full...)
Is it ok for a married man to text or chat with other woman?
Q. Is it ok for a married man to text or chat with other woman? I have been married for 7 years and from the beginning I have expressed to my husband how I feel about this subject after reading a conversation between him and another women about how ...
A. 7 January 2014: Um it really depends on WHAT they are texting about. If it was "sexting" and sharing "I love you/miss you's" it would NOT be OK.
But for my husband to text/chat with women about things isn't something I see as a threat. He talks to his ex-wife ... (read in full...)
Fingering sometimes hurts.
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year now and he's fingered me quite a bit. We're both virgins, so he was only inserting ome or two fingers at the most. About a week ago we tried three fingers but it was really sore so we stopped. I'm ...
A. 7 January 2014: YES to YOUWISH's post.
The FINGER doesn't replace a penis (which I think your BF believes) READ YOUWISH's post time YOU comprehend what "fingering" is and how it should be done or you are going to have guys do things you will not enjoy, not beca... (read in full...)
Isn't coming clean about cheating better?
Q. I found out yesterday that my ex cheated on me with a callgirl. We are living apart and still seeing each other after living together for 3 years. I found his other phone and home and I am not one to peep at others ph, I felt this strong need to ...
A. 7 January 2014: For some being honest is better. For others.. not so much. If lying get them what they WANT why be honest?
If you REFUSE to break down over this "loser" then don't CUT him from your life. Don't LET him be in your life no more.
You said:" wh... (read in full...)
Is 8 months of dating too soon to ask to be exclusive?
Q. what do you think? Is asking a woman after 8month of dating to become exclusive, being to "intense" or putting too much pressure on it??? I am courious about it....I did it and got dumped......
A. 7 January 2014: Personally, I would say 3-4 months is a good time, 8 months? Yes, nothing wrong UNLESS that is NOT what she wanted - and since she dumped you, she didn't want it.
Be glad it happened now then down the road.... (read in full...)
My friend is marrying my brother and doesn't want to talk to me anymore!
Q. My friend started to date my brother some time ago, they started to plan for a baby and she's now pregnant, and they recently got engaged as well. We all spent Christmas together, but somehow things just seemed.. weird. I was looking forward to ...
A. 7 January 2014: I would back off. She doesn't sound like a happy person but the more you PUSH for friendship the more she will back away.
I would just be nice and polite and not offer friendship for a while, but leave it open for her. IF she wants to spend ti... (read in full...)
Why can I give a one night stand oral sex but not to someone I am in a relationship with?
Q. I don't know why I am like this but in the past I have not been able to give a guy a blowjob who I am in a serious relationship with - which included my ex husband. Yet I have had no problem doing that with a couple of one night stands since. The ...
A. 7 January 2014: Since you mention that is disgust you I think you are afraid HE will find YOU disgusting for giving him a blow job (which is 99% not how a guy would feel).
Have you considered TRYING to give him head while he does you? That way his focus will be ... (read in full...)
Why is it bad to send ex a hate letter?
Q. I wrote a 3 page letter telling my ex how much I hate him. He had records of cheating and every time I forgave him and took him back. He's a liar and never changed. I'm so pissed and don't deserve after what I've done for him. So people said don't ...
A. 7 January 2014: You can write it yo ucan send it. The thing is, IF he was such an asshole do you really think the letter will have ANY impact what so ever? He will USE that letter to show anyone and everyone what a crazy lady you was (not that you were/are crazy) ... (read in full...)
I want my ex back! How do I get her to fall for me again?
Q. I want to get back with my ex. I'm now a senior and shes a junior. We got together first back in February of last year. Dated for 3 months, had amazing memories, but by the third month, we had already begin to get physical and had oral sex quite a ...
A. 7 January 2014: She already said she doesn't WANT to date til after she graduate. SHE is a junior, so why try and "force" the issue. Why not just accept that she isn't ready for that, but she could be for a friendship? So keep sex, sexual stuff of ANY kind out of ... (read in full...)
My ex is spreading horrible rumors to my friends
Q. Sorry this will probably be long.... I've just broken up with my partner. We'd been together just over a year but had been close friends for 5 years. I thought I knew him well... Our friendship was incredible, best of friends before we got to...
A. 7 January 2014: First off, congratulation in ending it with him. That was a big step. No do try and remember that the NICE guy you dated the first 6 months WASN'T really him. That was the guy he WANTED you to see and fall for. So try and stop missing him, that was ... (read in full...)
Would she be offended if I asked her to wear a wig during sex?
Q. I'm in a relationship for almost 2 years, we're both divorced and not rushing into marriage. she lives with me weekdays being I'm very close to where she works. We have a good relationship and I don't want to rock the boat asking her to wear a wig. ...
A. 7 January 2014: Yes, I would be offended, because when will you start to "wish" to see me with a wig outside of bed, outside the house.. So forth.
Like the other ladies said, role-playing is one thing, wanting her to change her LOOKS is another.... (read in full...)
After breaking up, am I obligated to speak to him again?
Q. I told this guy I was seeing that I'm fed up with what we have going . He can be quite rude and last night I said we cant be together nor can we be friends as he obviously can't hack it. Neither can I, the bitterness is real on his end yet he says ...
A. 7 January 2014: Nope, you can drop him 100% if you want, but BE consistent or he will think that if you talk to him once you will do it again.
If you are done, then BE done. block and ignore.... (read in full...)
She gets upset when I point out I provide most of the money.
Q. Ive been with my girlfriend for a year and I really love her. But I think I pushed her away. We've been fighting alot. Mainly because of me throwing everything up in her face. I work and pay for all the bills. She works in a day care but isnt ...
A. 7 January 2014: Maybe it's a good idea to not LIVE together? and just date? Keep your finances separate?
I do think it's kind of pretty to bring it up that she isn't paying for anything if she really CAN'T go to work due to weather. How the heck is that her faul... (read in full...)
Do I ignore married co-worker? I know I shouldn't act on my feelings!
Q. Hi. Well..I am in a strange situation and I'm not sure how to deal with it..I am in a long therm relationship but started to develop feelings for a married colleague and he has feelings for me for more than an year...we never talked about it ...
A. 7 January 2014: I would give the jewelry back, it's NOT OK to accept gifts when you know they come with an ulterior motive.
What did your BF say to you receiving jewelry from a co-worker? Because you told him, right?
He is married, you are IN a relationship, ... (read in full...)
Is he potentially an abuser?
Q. dear cupids, my boyfriend hits his sister, and i fear that a man capable of hitting his sister will hit me too in the future. i explained my fear to him yet he did not promise to stop it, he simply danced around the subject promising that h...
A. 7 January 2014: He really sounds like a ... not very pleasant guy. Hitting his sister? What for? Is he the "man of the house" and reprimanding her? Is that the norm in his house?
Also he said he wold not do it to you, means he will do as he please to his sister a... (read in full...)
My daughter's boyfriend is 31 years older than her!
Q. I have a 19-year-old daughter, an only child; she's in university studying medicine, and wants to work in the NHS. It's not her university I'm writing in about, but her choice of partner; he's 50, and a bathroom salesman. I'm not criticising his ...
A. 6 January 2014: I don't think this will last. So I would follow your husband's lead and just support her.
She is 19.... Trust me she will met some hot younger dude.... (read in full...)
Invited out for a drink, but what to drink when I have to drive!
Q. I'm going on a first date with a guy I met at a party and we're going to get a drink. I'm not a big drinker and we're both driving there separately. I've maybe drank 5 times in my life. I really don't drink a lot. I already agreed to get a drink so ...
A. 6 January 2014: Drink a soda, show that you are responsible. Don't think you have to drink alcohol to "pretend" to be a grown up (even though you are one).
Or if you want to drink a beer get a non-alcoholic one.
Or go with a "virgin" anything you like drink. ... (read in full...)
She's 22 and I'm 16. But I panicked and said I was 21. How do I tell her the truth and not have a bad reaction from her?
Q. Hey, I met this 22 year old girl online. We instantly hit it off and it turns out that we both live in Aus. We exchanged mobile numbers and have been talking constantly since then, the only problem that I have is that when she asked my age... I ...
A. 6 January 2014: Be honest and tell her now. It might make a difference for her, but LYING... that will end it faster then you being younger.
Grow a set and man up. And in the future don't lie. LIES have a way of coming out one way or another.... (read in full...)
I have had sex but now find no interest in it
Q. im 17 and lost my virginity about 6months ago and have since at sex a few times with 3 different guys. the first times it really hurt and now although it doesnt hurt, i have no interest in sex. i dont know if this is usual but i dont really feel ...
A. 5 January 2014: I don't think it's really abnormal how you feel. BUT why 3 sexual partner is 6 months? Were they someone you ACTUALLY CARED for or someone you "hooked" up with?
I think it DOES matter WHO you have sex with, special when you first start out bein... (read in full...)
My father has become even more controlling since my mum was diagnosed with a brain tumor
Q. My mum was diagnosed with a brain tumour on the day before Christmas Eve. Since then our family has all been together, trying to support my mum. My Dad is very details obsessed kind of guy. There are all these palliative care nurses, district ...
A. 4 January 2014: This is HIS way of showing her he loves her. I know it's not how YOU would do it, but he is TRYING to rationalize, organize and plan everything so SHE won't have to worry.
My dad was kind of the same at first when my mom got sick, but thankful... (read in full...)
Is my guy friend still angry with me?
Q. I met this guy in my class who asked could we be friends. I knew that he did not want to be just my friend because he kept suggesting for us to get together for dinner or "chill at his place." We had exchanged numbers and I told him that I would...
A. 4 January 2014: Nope, I would be cordial, but not try and redo the friendship. He sounds like a manipulative sort of fella who likes to play games. BUT in his defense.. he might think you jerked him around pretty good too.
If you think a guy wants MORE then fri... (read in full...)
What are women's preferences when it comes to male grooming habits?
Q. The recent post about the doctor seeing a man fully shaved got me thinking. What is a woman's preference? Do y'all prefer your man to be shaved bald? ...
A. 4 January 2014: Nope. Some trimming of the hedges are fine by me, I actually find a man who is bald below decks unattractive. I don't know makes me think of prepubescence boys, not sexy (TO ME).
And honestly a penis needs some shrubbery to hide in... It's not... (read in full...)
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