What did this comment mean?
Q. Ok so I was talking to this girl for a month (we liked each other) and then she said she just wanted to be friends. One month later she sent me a text saying "hey :)" and I replied "sup" and got off without giving her a chance to reply. (I haven't ...
A. 13 January 2014: She might be, but who cares - right?
Talking smack about you behind you back will ONLY make her look dumb.
Stop fretting about her and what she may or may not do, you can't control it and in the BIG picture it REALLY doesn't matter. Let her ... (read in full...)
What did this comment mean?
Q. Ok so I was talking to this girl for a month (we liked each other) and then she said she just wanted to be friends. One month later she sent me a text saying "hey :)" and I replied "sup" and got off without giving her a chance to reply. (I haven't ...
A. 13 January 2014: You could have left the comment up, you WANTED her to see that you deleted it, SHE wanted to let you know that she DID notice and that she was a little offended that you deleted it.
Why not just un-friend and block her? then she can post whatever... (read in full...)
My boyfriend announced he wanted a month apart
Q. So here's the deal.... My boyf and I have been together 4 years, met at college, moved in together straight away, I finished college, he started his own business which he named after my family. We were so in love my family loved him even though ...
A. 13 January 2014: Well, first of all, it was pretty naive of your family to give him the money when you two weren't engaged or married. Unless they have it written down with his signature that is was a loan and/or investment that money is lost I would think. You ... (read in full...)
Missing condoms have raised my suspicions
Q. Dating a great man for about one year and he is not ready to commit. He has been divorced for 5 years and is not ready for a serious relationship ( I know I know I'm stupid for staying loyal to him ) He is 34 and I am 31 I went to his house on Sat...
A. 13 January 2014: I think YOUWISH hit the nail on the head. YOU are not the GF, so you are a CASUAL SEX partner, fuck buddy or FWB - nothing more. And even IF he has said he is exclusive with you, doesn't mean he actually is.
No I don't think the cleaning lady wou... (read in full...)
How do others get over their first love?
Q. I was dumped last May. We were together for 3 years. He was my first. First sex, first I love you and first serious relationship. I know this may sound strange, but I started dating when I was 26. Before him, all the guys I met were those who liked ...
A. 13 January 2014: My first love ended after 4 1/2 years and it was kind of due to OTHER things then the two of us, that cause the break up - we both saw the writing on the wall and were both stubborn
about NOT being the first to fix to or leave.
It was a good r... (read in full...)
I need to become more assertive without losing my job or alienating people
Q. This is going to seem like a great big grumble..I suppose it is but any advice would be greatly appreciated. Basically, I'm fed up with everything. I'm fed up with my job. I'm a healthcare worker and deal with different people with different health ...
A. 13 January 2014: First off, DUMP the dead weight! (aka your BF) he is a mooching leech! Start by telling him to go F himself, maybe it will give you a little more courage to tell your bosses no, I can't come in this week-end I have plans.
THE ONLY one who can make... (read in full...)
I like this new guy I am talking to but my guy friend might be jealous
Q. Hello, I have a situation and I need some advice. I have been talking to this guy on and offline. He texts me everyday and we talk on the phone also. He is the nicest guy that I have spoken to in a long time. He does live far away and wants to come ...
A. 13 January 2014: I agree, you are the one holding yourself back. Playing games won't make him change him mind. He already CLEARLY stated that he doesn't WANT to date you, but he still think he has some "right" to tell you what he thinks. He wants to CONTROL you, but ... (read in full...)
Would you be ok with your girlfriend travelling abroad with friends?
Q. my gf and i have been in a ldr for almost two years and we are about to close the distance and move in together this year. first step before proposing ;) we asked different questions to each other to make sure we would exactly what we are getting ...
A. 13 January 2014: I don't really see the problem either. You are already living apart, so you both go do your thing and apparently going on a holiday would be different then her going out clubbing at home? Why?
Do you not trust her to know that she HAS you?
... (read in full...)
What are the subtle signs of a controlling person?
Q. What are some small signs that a person, any person, may be a control freak? Any person, friend, potential date, work colleague, family member, friend of friend, someone you have just met, and/or maybe looking to maybe be friends with. It could ...
A. 13 January 2014: You Sister's MIL isn't controlling because she yells "I'm coming, I'm coming" She was being passive aggressive. She could just have got up and went to the table, but she HAD to throw her 2 cents in.. My guess is your Sister doesn't like her MIL and ... (read in full...)
Rejected Too Many Times
Q. Hi. Lately it just feels like I'm a reject. Nobody wants me. I'm not too bad looking either. I have light brown/ blonde-ish shoulder length hair and I'm sort of skinny. It feels like I'm just completely undesirable and worthless. Why has every guy ...
A. 13 January 2014: OK, because of your age, I will try and go gentle with you. And it will be a tad long.
1. YOU are WAY to over-dramatic - which I guess is kind of normal for a teenager. But it's disproportionate to the actual facts.
2. YOU are WAY to DESPERATE... (read in full...)
My boyfriend called me a 'beached whale'.
Q. My fiance referred to me as a "beached whale" during sex (in the context of a conversation while not having sex). I'm usually on bottom for a few reasons. He can barely stay hard when I'm on top (not sure why), neither of us can really reach orgasm ...
A. 13 January 2014: That would not be OK with me for ANY man to say that least of all someone who claims to LOVE me.
I would sit him down and ask him to PLEASE elaborate on it, because you felt offended and think you deserve an explanation.
Now if he means you "ju... (read in full...)
Should I contribute more than my boyfriend's room mate?
Q. I am going to move in with my bf in a few months. We decided this long before he started having financial issues (furlough, medical bills, car accident), but now they have surfaced and I don't know what to do. He currently owns his home and ren...
A. 13 January 2014: I think you need to sit down and make a budget so you know EXACTLY what you can afford. I think it's unwise of you to move in if it means YOU have to bear the brunt of your BF DEBT.
Personally, I would look at how much more you will have to spend... (read in full...)
His comment about the other girl really has me doubting myself
Q. Why do I feel this way? I'm I overreacting? So my boyfriend is on holiday and he's staying with his friend and he has a female roomate. We were talking and I asked how the girl is. He said they get on really well. They went shopping toget...
A. 13 January 2014: He could have lied to make YOU feel better. Until you saw pictures.
You are going to have to realize that there will ALWAYS be a girl who is skinnier or smarter or prettier then you. And that is OK. Your BF isn't DATING them, he is dating YOU.
... (read in full...)
What did this comment mean?
Q. Ok so I was talking to this girl for a month (we liked each other) and then she said she just wanted to be friends. One month later she sent me a text saying "hey :)" and I replied "sup" and got off without giving her a chance to reply. (I haven't ...
A. 13 January 2014: Probably hurt her feeling that you aren't pining over her. Honestly I would just delete and block her.
She was being snarky, basically.
Just ignore it. She made the choice to "just" be friends. You have no obligation to do that.... (read in full...)
My mother and I cannot afford health insurance and we're losing hope
Q. Hi everyone, this is not a relationship issue but rather an issue within myself. I'm 19, going to school full time and work a part time retail job. I live with just my mom and a few wonderful animals. We are really, really broke to the point where ...
A. 13 January 2014: The military does give "free" medical for the soldier and his/her family (spouse/child). But I would find it a hard thing to join JUST to get medical, specially coming from a home-country where medical is "free) we pay for it over our taxes.
You c... (read in full...)
I have a fantasy, but is it too 'out there' to share with her?
Q. I have a strong desire to cum in my girlfriend's long hair, but I know it will be really messy and difficult to get out. How can I bring this fantasy up to my girlfriend? Do you think she will think I'm weird? If you are a woman would you allow a ...
A. 12 January 2014: Newsflash...
Auntie Daisy is right, I DO NOT think the MAJORITY of women enjoy men ejaculating in their face - THAT is PURE porn and guess what bro? MOST of that porn is MADE by MEN for MEN! It's like a DOG pissing on his territory.
Howev... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is still friends with his ex friend-with-benefits. Am I selfish or obsessive in my response to this situation?
Q. I'm not sure if I am acting selfish and obsessive or if I'm acting as most girls would in regards to my current relationship. I have been dating my boyfriend since last summer. I had a boyfriend for 2 years before my current boyfriend, and we had b...
A. 12 January 2014: I agree with Janniepeg - SHE is being obsessive. I think she is mad that he would JUST fuck her, but NOT date her, yet YOU... HE IS dating. She is jealous and ugly about, but she is SMUG and SMART enough to make life uncomfortable for you when your ... (read in full...)
Feeling guilty for not pairing my wedding rings with my fiance's.
Q. Hi. I'm in a long distance relationship for two years and now I'm going to UK for my boyfriend for holiday to spend time with him and meet his family, so he gave a ticket to go there and as a gift for my graduation day, which he promise it befo...
A. 12 January 2014: My ring and my husband's didn't match either. His was a very simple gold band ( which he lost years ago and exchanged for a titanium ring due to his work) Mine (which HE picked out) was kind of frilly gold with diamonds. It got stolen when we had a ... (read in full...)
I find my boyfriend's dry humping annoying. How do I deal with this without offending him or putting him off?
Q. This is a really stupid problem, but my boyfriend is always dry humping me... When I'm cooking dinner, when we're in bed, etc. It is kind of annoying, but I worry that I am thwarting his masculine sexual urges or something by telling him to stop and ...
A. 12 January 2014: I agree with You Wish.
She is not a leg and he isn't a dog. (well he acts like one but that is a whole other matter).
You NEED to TALK TO him. TELL him that it's GREAT that he is so attracted to you, but that you feel like his behavior is that... (read in full...)
I want a baby but my boyfriend isn't ready
Q. My partner and I are 25 and have been together for 6 years. We moved in together about 6 months ago. We have a good relationship and have always discussed marriage and kids which we both want. I told my boyfriend a few months ago that I wanted to ...
A. 12 January 2014: You have been together 6 years? and NOW he is realizing he isn't ready? I would ask him what he is waiting for.
MY guess is marriage hasn't even BEEN on the table either?
I think he is being honest in telling you no, he COULD have knocked you... (read in full...)
I said goodbye because he's heading into an arranged marriage
Q. Just now I deleted and blocked all my bf's account on fb and smart phone IMs. I can't stop crying. We didn't break up officially but we were heading there and this weekend I just let go of the rope where I am clinging on it's end. I have loved h...
A. 11 January 2014: First up GOOD FOR YOU. You NEEDED to block him and cut him out of your life.
I know certain cultures don't give their grown children much choice in marriage, but.. I also believe that ANY parent from ANY culture want their kids happy. So for him ... (read in full...)
What can I do with my cheating ex's love notes?
Q. So this is my last post http://www.dearcupid.org/question/is-it-possible-that-my-ex-said-he.html I'm now over my ex. He's completely dead to me. I think I only hate toward him now. I was reading the love notes and cards he wrote to me which I d...
A. 11 January 2014: I am also with SVC 100%
You are not over him.
And sending them back will do what? Make him think YOU still think about him. That he is still an influence. (and he is) Because once you are over a guy you don't hate them, you just stop caring... (read in full...)
Is my friend over-reacting?
Q. Hello there everyone :) I have this wonderful best friend that i will be referring to as X. X an i have been best friends for over 4 years now. now what happened recently is that we were supposed to go out a couple of days ago on an outing with t...
A. 11 January 2014: I agree with your friend, if you cancel or change plans you have the decency to CALL, not text.
I would give her that 2 days to cool off and then CALL her and apologize, tell her NEXT time you have to cancel you will CALL and do so.
Then ... (read in full...)
Did my poem scare him away?
Q. I wrote a poem for a guy I really like. We have had some good conversations but since it was his birthday I decided to write a poem on how great a person he is. The problem is its been about a week and a half and he has yet to respond. The poem said ...
A. 11 January 2014: I think it "scared" him or gave him the idea that you want more and since he isn't interested (otherwise he would have been on you like white on rice).
A poem is an intimate gesture. And while it might come across as thoughtful, it can also com... (read in full...)
We absolutely have the money for a wedding but I'm not sure its a good investment!
Q. Dear Cupid, I have a wedding question. My fiance and I have waited almost three years to get engaged as I wanted to be able to afford the wedding I want as all little girls dream about their wedding. I am just not sure I can spend six thousand...
A. 11 January 2014: I have been to expensive wedding and "cheap" ones.
I myself didn't dream of a BIG fairytale wedding, that is just not how I was raised. We had a JOP wedding with 10 guests that after the ceremony we took out and had dinner with. 6 months l... (read in full...)
One of my husband's New Year's resolutions is to go a month without having sex?
Q. This seems a little ridiculous to me but here it goes. My husband decided on his new year resolution to quit drinking and smoking which I am proud of him for doing so. The third one is the one that is ridiculous to me. He wants to go a month with ...
A. 11 January 2014: I agree with WiseOwlE
ONLY been married 2 years and the sex is almost non-existent and now he wants to quit it for a months? Because he doesn't want sex to take over his life? How can it if you two RARELY have it?
Is he religious?
If... (read in full...)
I don't know how to handle my boyfriend's abusive behavior anymore!
Q. Dear Cupid Im with my current bf for almost 4 years, its the longest relationship for both of us. My bf was previously with lots of girls nothing lasted even for 6 months. Coming to my problem, he often becomes abusive, im not even sure whats ...
A. 11 January 2014: Sounds like you need to back your bags and leave.
This is not YOUR fault that he acts this way, it's not something YOU trigger. It's him having no self control and without a doubt serious anger issues.
YOU can't fix this, but YOU can CHOOSE t... (read in full...)
What do you expect from your husband and his side of the family when getting married?
Q. This question isn't just directed at women, men feel free to give your thoughts and experiences. What do you expect from your husband and his side of the family when getting married? -- Whilst growing up my parents spoiled me, I would put th...
A. 11 January 2014: I'm not Chinese so I can't tell you what a Chinese girl might expect.
I would sit her down and talk it out. If her expectations is not at all reasonable or realistic, then maybe you need to reconsider marriage to her. Because that WILL cause fr... (read in full...)
My B/f has changed so much, I met him now, no way I would go out with him. Is it time to call it a day?
Q. My boyfriend has changed so much since we got together it's like he's a completely different person. We've been together for almost five years and moved in with each other about a year ago. A year into the relationship, he started gaining weight and ...
A. 11 January 2014: I don't think he's rally changed a lot, maybe you have just seen more of his personality after moving in? Such as the criticizing you and throwing tantrums.
You write :" His father behaves in a similar way. It's just the way he is"
Well, h... (read in full...)
I hope nothing is wrong but am worried he is playing games!
Q. Hello im a 36 year old woman in a long distance relationship with a 48 year old man. He's in NY and im in GA but, he is planning on relocating to Ga to be with me. But sometimes things dont go so well between us, he accused me on two different ...
A. 10 January 2014: He is accusing you without any reason or evidence?
You came from an abusive relationship, but if you move on with this guy you are going to have a CONTROLLING and DISTRUSTFUL partner.
He will NOT believe that you aren't cheating, if he ... (read in full...)
Found out boyfriend looks at porn and gay porn. Does everyone do this?
Q. really need some good advice as this problem is really upsetting me . ive been with my partner 3 years and have lived together for 6 months with our baby . i recently found that he had looked at gay porn on the internet. he says hes not gay and ...
A. 10 January 2014: This is why I really LIKE the website, it will give you insights from male/females.
The men are right. There are many reasons why a guy would watch porn. Straight pron, gay porn, any porn really. And it's a different perspective then how many WOM... (read in full...)
What do I need to do about the fact that I seem to attract verbally abusive men?
Q. This evening I ended my relationship with a guy who was becoming more and more verbally abusive towards me. I told him I couldn't take any more. He got into the habit of calling me names and making personal put downs about my appearance and ...
A. 10 January 2014: Be more invest in YOURSELF then any man, at least til you know him and his personality.
By 3-6 months is usually when a persons "true" personality shows through - specially when dating (for some it's earlier but usually that is the time period).... (read in full...)
Girlfriend's family is disrespectful of me and I'm not sure how to deal with it
Q. I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for a year and a half now, and this has largely been a very happy period of my life. I was conscious when entering into a same-sex relationship that difficulties may arise, and was both surprised and ...
A. 10 January 2014: I don't think you will "lose" if you avoid their house, I can't see why YOU should just suck it up however, even IF they are rude and obnoxious - you yelling and shouting because you get your feelings hurt, isn't right either and it's getting you NO ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my parents' divorce?
Q. My parents are getting a divorce, and it is the most painful thing I have ever experienced in my life so far. How do I deal with this? Both of them have used me, and I have been the messenger, and while one of them has tried to keep being a pa...
A. 10 January 2014: Know that it's NOT your fault they decided to divorce.
KNOW that they still love you, the same as always.
Accept that they didn't WANT to be with each other and accept that even IF they are both being selfish at the moment, that they are st... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my boyfriend for 3yrs invite me over his aunts house where he lives?
Q. My boyfriend for 3 yrs has not invited me over to his aunts house where he lives why?...
A. 10 January 2014: I would go with embarrassed. A grown man living with his aunt?
I would ask him though, instead of guessing.... (read in full...)
I don't wish to lose my wife nor my friend!
Q. Hey everyone, I know this is going to sound bad but I really need some help. I have been married for 4 years with two lovely children, and although I love my wife and kids to bits I can't stop thinking about a friend of mine. We get on really well ...
A. 10 January 2014: Greedy and selfish aren't you?
It's all about what YOU want. And how YOU feel. That doesn't SAY a single thing about wanting to NOT hurt your wife. It says I WANT to care, but I don't REALLY care about my wife enough to realize that I am pu... (read in full...)
He is a really great guy...but why wont he divorce his ex?
Q. So, I am really very torn. I have been with my boyfriend for a year...and he has been separated for 2. They have no kids and she left him. He excuses for not applying is 1. No money and 2. Not wanting her to fight for the house (although as I s...
A. 9 January 2014: Well waiting to file til he can claim abandonment might make it easier for him to get it done.
And I don't blame you, I wouldn't date a married man either (even if the marriage is over).
I guess if things are otherwise OK, I would give him a... (read in full...)
Please help before this situation spirals out of control....again!
Q. Hiya I could do with some advice before my problem spirals out of control again. Me and my partner have been together nearly 3 years. He has kids from a previous relationship. We have all got along brilliantly and I love them to b...
A. 9 January 2014: I think that is HOW they act. And yes, I think THAT is going to be your life if you don't somehow get THROUGH to him that HE NEEDS to work it out with the ex.
He is asking you for advice because let's face out of the 3 of you (him, his ex and you)... (read in full...)
I'm shy and blush easily when I go to speak. How do I learn to be more confident?
Q. Hi well I am new to this site so not sure how it works, but ill ask my question anyway- I am so shy- I go red in the face everytime I speak and this is really affecting me. How do I stop my self from going red in the face and how do I bec...
A. 9 January 2014: I have always blushed easily. And It's annoying at ANY age :) Add to the fact that I'm about as pale as they get, blushing really shows.
I use Bare Minerals and it covers the "worst" of the red cheeks. Find some Medium-full foundation. I covers i... (read in full...)
What's the answer? Buy a dildo? Think of images? Watch porn? How do I learn to turn myself on?
Q. I am new to this site- I will ask this question anyway. I would like to know what is the best ways to turn yourself on (masterbate) and make it so good? so you watch porn or just picture dirty things ? Does anyone suggest buying dildos? I...
A. 9 January 2014: I agree with person12345 - no dildos - that is not going to do the trick. Get a vibrator (and you can order online - they do NOT plaster a picture of YOU and HUGE rubber dick on the package - it's done pretty discreet.)
There are some shaped a... (read in full...)
I'm his first in everything. How do we get comfortable with each other when he seems rattled by my sexual history?
Q. Ok I'm just gonna come straight out with it, me and my boyfriend are both virgins but he's never been with any one before. Ever. I'm his first everything, first kiss, first hand hold! And that doesn't bother me at all, we've fallen for each oth...
A. 9 January 2014: I would agree that you are getting a "little" old for playing T & D - maybe your BF felt like you "threw" it in his face that you had been with other OR did he know BEFORE you guys played the game? My guess is not.
Those kind of question... (read in full...)
Does my ex still love me? He got a new Gf. Yet now he will not leave me alone.
Q. Does my ex still love me ? Hi everyone. Thanks for looking even if u don't read it all. Well basically to cut long story short. I was with my ex about 6 years, we split up due to arguing all the time and we ended up hating each other becau...
A. 9 January 2014: He has a GF - all he wants from you is sex. You gave it up before, maybe you will again (at least that is what he is thinking).
The fact that 1. he HAS a GF and 2. He is avoiding the subject of working it out, pretty much shows that all he sees ... (read in full...)
What do I need to do about the fact that I seem to attract verbally abusive men?
Q. This evening I ended my relationship with a guy who was becoming more and more verbally abusive towards me. I told him I couldn't take any more. He got into the habit of calling me names and making personal put downs about my appearance and ...
A. 9 January 2014: How soon into a relationship does it start? How long do you "take" it? And why?
And do you attract them? More likely you are ATTRACTED to guy who are not "bad guys" but have that side.
You told the most respect ex about the previous guy. So... (read in full...)
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