Does he deserve a second chance?
Q. We dated for a two years it was great until the last 6 months. He started to mistreat me such as not wanting to hang out with me and talk down to me. I broke up with him and went no contact for four months. He recently sent me flowers apologized ...
A. 20 January 2014: So you would be ALL OK with taking back a guy who treated you like dirt 4 months ago, who now "magically" learned how to treat a woman?
My guess is the "new" girl dumped him because he is an ass. And he wants YOU to be his go-to girl. Hoping h... (read in full...)
He has left me dangling and my life is on hold.
Q. My boyfriend and I split up three weeks ago he has serious mental health issues and said he cant sustain a relationship as he coudnt think straight . He said he was going to get help and in the meantime has seen me three or four times and says he ...
A. 19 January 2014: I think you need to tell him to stop coming in to your work, that you can't do this any longer. I know that is a hard thing to do because you care and feel responsible for him, BUT unless you somehow put your foot down and really END it, this van go ... (read in full...)
I feel furious and totally used!
Q. Hi, I'm just wondering what people make of this, because I feel so angry when I think about it and I need to off load. 2 years ago now, met a girl while out. It was like love at first sight if you know what I mean. We went on a date and it was ...
A. 18 January 2014: I don't blame you for feeling used. My guess is she was "crushing" on the "friend of a friend" for QUITE a while and when she found out she could have him, she jumped ship but didn't have the courtesy or respect to dump you first.
Remem... (read in full...)
How long should I wait before contacting her? Even though she went "no contact" due to my actions.
Q. When she deleted you and you went no contact, how long would you wait to contact her again? We were friends before and I somehow hate the thought of losing her totally.... ( I made a terrible mistake. I talked to her sister about it and I might h...
A. 18 January 2014: Yeah, you shot yourself in the foot there. You needed to vent, but to her sister? Seriously?
You could do what Auntie Em suggest and SEND her a letter (through the post, you know old fashioned with an envelope & stamp) and apologize. If she acce... (read in full...)
Threats, fighting, verbal and mental abuse. Is he about to break up? What should I do?
Q. Dear Cupid yesterday i had a huge fight with my bf of 4 years, lately he is ignoring me, verbally and mentally abusing me all the time. Its getting difficult even to have a decent conversation with him on anything. Yesterday we had a huge f...
A. 18 January 2014: I assume you two don't live together?
The thing is it COULD be that he is being abusive to alienate you or punish you for something you did or didn't do, my question is... WHY do you allow it? That isn't love. It isn't respect. It isn't anything... (read in full...)
No contact from boyfriend for 8 days...
Q. I haven't heard from my boyfriend, of 3 years, since the 9th (8 days). No text, call, message, absolutely nothing. The last time I heard from him he told me he loved me and I'm pretty sure his phone ran out of time the next day which makes it a ...
A. 18 January 2014: Why are you sitting on your hand WAITING for him to contact you?
Have you TRIED to call him?
Does he live alone? Does he work? If the answer is yes, he works, don't you have his work number? I'm not saying you should call and have LONG talks ... (read in full...)
How much should you tell a new partner about past relationships?
Q. When embarking on a new relationship how much should you tell your new partner about your "relationship past" I ask this not because I've had a problem with this nor am I embarking on a new relationship but simply because I see on this site that t...
A. 18 January 2014: That IS a very good question and I think a healthy think to discuss in the early stages.
I don't think the number of previous partners is of essence, though it never bothered me to disclose.
I honestly think the MORE you know is a good thing.... (read in full...)
I lent my online bf money for the trip to meet me...am I being used?
Q. I've been in an on-line relationship for 2 months. My bf and I decided to meet, so we went ahead and made plans. But a few days before he realised he doesn't have enough money for the trip. I have agreed to lend him but I keep wondering if I am ...
A. 18 January 2014: The fact that he didn't REALIZE he couldn't afford til a FEW days before he was due, well that kind of tells what kind of guy he is. He should have TOLD you, look I can't afford coming to see you yet, I need to SAVE up more money first.
How m... (read in full...)
My ex boyfriend is now running around with my sister!
Q. Hi everyone. I hope you are all alright and God is following your steps. Today I'm writing here to ask everyone advice on a matter that seems complicated to me. So. I had a boyfriend, and if anyone has read about it before, we are not blood related, ...
A. 17 January 2014: I think the more you ignore it, the less "fun" it will be for your sister. I think she is pretty competitive with you and USED to winning, apparently she think he is a prize... *rolling my eyes* Obviously he is NO great prize so the joke is on he.
... (read in full...)
Should my sister be fasting now that she is pregnant?
Q. Hi My sister is pregnant- she is only about 7 weeks and is eating so much. She says she is hungry all the time. Is this a sign of anything? Sign of more than one baby?? Also, she does fasting days when she does not eat anything for 2 out of 5...
A. 17 January 2014: *raises hand*... (read in full...)
I can't deal with the poop streaks he leaves on the bed!
Q. This is a gross question but I really need advice. Sorry to be graphic. Basically Ive been seeing this guy for 3 months and on 3 occasions when he has stayed over at mine he has left poop streaks in my bed. He did it lastnight and I felt sick. He is ...
A. 17 January 2014: Oh EWWW.
34? and can't wipe his but? No arms or hand on the fella?
First off tell him. I know it will feel a little awkward but that is just downright disgusting.
Honestly I would suggest (if you keep dating this guy with questionable hy... (read in full...)
I used to be really good at dating...but am I too preoccupied with work?
Q. lately i have been having a dryspell and it all started when my career started pikcing up. in my field, i do heavy pressure and stressful work that drains me. my social life has really taken a hit because of this. nowadays i can still meet girls ...
A. 17 January 2014: Find the time to go to the gym first (not to look fit, but to boost your energy) and then be aware of how you act around people (not just women but everyone).
And don't try and FORCE a relationship because you would like to have a friendly... (read in full...)
Should my sister be fasting now that she is pregnant?
Q. Hi My sister is pregnant- she is only about 7 weeks and is eating so much. She says she is hungry all the time. Is this a sign of anything? Sign of more than one baby?? Also, she does fasting days when she does not eat anything for 2 out of 5...
A. 17 January 2014: She needs to go see her doctor. GET some vitamins for the baby (and herself) get a full check up. And fasting while pregnant doesn't sound like a smart idea.
Though the whole eating for two, isn't true either, you can eat sensible and the baby wil... (read in full...)
I used to be really good at dating...but am I too preoccupied with work?
Q. lately i have been having a dryspell and it all started when my career started pikcing up. in my field, i do heavy pressure and stressful work that drains me. my social life has really taken a hit because of this. nowadays i can still meet girls ...
A. 17 January 2014: Seems like you are not quite capable of doing more then one thing at a time, before I'm sure you put a LOT more effort and energy into your "dating" or "chasing girls" game and now, work is more important.
I think you just haven't met anyone w... (read in full...)
He never wanted us to travel there, but now he's going to a conference??
Q. Hello everyone, my boyfriend´s told me he applied for one work conference that´s held in New York and I really got mad at him. Why? Because my all-time dream is going to NYC and everytime I asked him if we´d go there, all he ever said was "hell no, ...
A. 16 January 2014: I think you are over reacting too, he isn't going on holiday with friends, he is going on a CONFERENCE with CO-WORKERS.
Save up and take a trip wit ha friend to NYC if he doesn't want to, I can't see why you couldn't go without him at some poi... (read in full...)
I am not sure how to act around an accomplished flirt!
Q. So apparently, I found out that this guy who's been flirting with me (who I was actually interested in) has also been flirting with a lot of other girls. In my point of view, I think he's playing mind games with me, like he just wants me to like ...
A. 16 January 2014: I agree - be yourself. And I wouldn't flirt back though, because that is too easy a way to start getting feelings for a guy who won't return them.
Some people are flirty by nature, some are JUST nice and people mistake both for interest. ... (read in full...)
Is this woman just an angry person?
Q. When she let you down sometimes and has severe mood swings, insults you verbally and acting angry towards you, without a serious reason, what would you do to handle the situation?( my attempt was just ignoring it....) For example: she gets made ab...
A. 16 January 2014: While it might not feel good right now, I think it's ALWAYS important to NOT allow people to treat you badly or with disrespect. So ending it was the right thing, because no one should have to suck that up.
I hope the next women you met will tre... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has a problem with me tanning
Q. Recently I arranged a tanning session at the pool with a few friends. But my boyfriend doesn't like it when I tan because he says that other guys would be staring at me. While I get where he's coming from and his unhappiness. I can't help but feel ...
A. 16 January 2014: You can't reason with him logic.
Next he will try and demand that you don't wear spaghetti straps or tank tops because guys will look. Well, yes most men have eyes, they WILL look.
You are not doing anything wrong.
What is he going to d... (read in full...)
Potential boyfriend is demanding to know my past, and then comments negatively!
Q. I've been talking to a guy that I met through a dating website for almost 3 months now. We live across the country so we haven't met yet but we text all day and skype pretty regularly. For the most part, things are pretty good with him and I feel ...
A. 16 January 2014: I don't think this guy will change he is too busy JUDGING you.The fact that you feel like you have to lie for him not to have a go at you or get mad is a RED FLAG.
The fact that after knowing you for 3 months he had to "re-think" if he wanted to... (read in full...)
First it was just a break,now its an 'open' break, so what does my GF really want?
Q. So my girlfriend and i are taking a break from our relationship because she want to figure out what she wants to do in life and i agreed to it. I understand because im in that position too. Then later on we confirmed if it was ok to just talk to the ...
A. 16 January 2014: I have no idea either, my guess is she wants to try out a few guys while you and her are on "break". If you are not sure what she means ASK her to EXPLAIN what she means, and if it means sleeping with others.. I would just tell her that the break is ... (read in full...)
I was thinking once I find work and I am happy with my life that I could perhaps try again with him.
Q. Hi My boyfriend has just ended our 4 month relationship on the basis that we don’t click. At the beginning of the relationship, things were great. We were close, we enjoyed spending time together, we had fun and we would talk all the time. ...
A. 15 January 2014: Just focus on getting yourself a job. What happens after that is not certain.
I don't think you losing your job was what ended it, I think you "pushed" him away because you felt without a job/money you weren't "worthy" anymore.
It was ONLY a... (read in full...)
I found his ad on casual sex sites but thought he was against it!!
Q. Hi everyone, I have been with my current boyfriend for about 7 months now. About a month ago, I was using his iPad to purchase Christmas presents and I found a site bookmarked called "Forgetdinner". I was curious so I entered the site and it turn...
A. 15 January 2014: Oh stop making excuses for him.
You already KNOW he is on those dating sites and possible more then the few you found. And because you are together 6/7 days doesn't mean he doesn't engage in EMOTIONAL cheating or actual physical cheating. Just bec... (read in full...)
Do you say goodnight to each other or do you sometimes forget?
Q. My fiancé got upset that I didn't say goodnight to him. He wanted me to work on my project which I did late into the night. He was still up and in another area of the house when I decided I was really tired and I went to bed. He woke me up and s...
A. 15 January 2014: Ah, needed more coffee before typing.. lol meant to type..
I DON'T think it warrant a hissy fit, but ...... (read in full...)
Should I not tag people on Facebook? What is the Facebook etiquette?
Q. My fiancés daughter had their first child and we went to see her and the child. I am friends with her on facebook although we don't communicate with each other much. We took a bunch of pictures of course and the few pictures I put on facebook I ...
A. 15 January 2014: I would just send her an email and let her know that you aren't familiar with FB- etiquette (which sounds like an oxymoron anyways, but I digress) let her know that next time you will just e-mail her the pictures.... (read in full...)
I've been advised to get a mortgage on my own, and I feel guilty for in essence changing my mind about putting him on the mortgage!
Q. Hi I could do with some advice please. I have been with my boyfriend for over 2 years but we recently broke up and got back together. The reason for this break was because he has 2 kids from a previous relationship who I love to bits,...
A. 15 January 2014: Don't add him unless you two marry. It's YOUR money that PAYS for the house.
WHY should he needs "protection" if you break up? If the roles were reversed you would have to move out and not get a penny.
YOUR parents are right. Don't feel bad o... (read in full...)
Do you say goodnight to each other or do you sometimes forget?
Q. My fiancé got upset that I didn't say goodnight to him. He wanted me to work on my project which I did late into the night. He was still up and in another area of the house when I decided I was really tired and I went to bed. He woke me up and s...
A. 15 January 2014: I think think it warrant a hissy fit, but yes, I ALWAYS say goodnight to my husband if I go to bed before him (which is quite often).
I also ALWAYS say goodbye when I end a phone call, I don't just "hang up".
Is it rude? Nah, but a bit incons... (read in full...)
Caught my Girlfriend answering ad on craigslist.
Q. I know it was deceitful but I created a fake ad on craigslist to see if my girlfriend would answer and she did. I did this once before and she answered and this was the second time. I replied back and pretended to this other guy and she flirted and ...
A. 15 January 2014: You don't need to show her proof, you ALREADY SAW IT. Just end it.
Or are you going to waste more time on her? Post more adds to "catch" her with? You ALREADY know she is up for cheating, who knows what other CL adds she has ACTUALLY answered... (read in full...)
Should I not tag people on Facebook? What is the Facebook etiquette?
Q. My fiancés daughter had their first child and we went to see her and the child. I am friends with her on facebook although we don't communicate with each other much. We took a bunch of pictures of course and the few pictures I put on facebook I ...
A. 15 January 2014: From what I have seen you don't post pictures of anyone's kids, you ASK them first. You could have mailed her some of the pictures so she can DECIDE if she wants to post any or not.... (read in full...)
S going NC out of the blue considered childish?
Q. A girl I was dating, and that was very into me about two months ago seems to have lost interest in me. She never said so explicitly, but it's obvious. She no longer initiates conversation, takes a lot longer to reply to my texts and is way more dry ...
A. 15 January 2014: How many actual dates did you two have? Or was this a "over text" dating kind of thing?
Either way, I'm pretty sure she is over it.
I agree, With Auntie BimBim, next time have more ACTUAL dates and instead of texting CALL the girl every now a... (read in full...)
Ladies -- what terms do you use?
Q. Curious question for the women: how many of you call your vagina a "pussy"? What do you think of the word "cunt"? I like the word pussy...I think it's sexy but the other word seems harsh and derogatory to me. Yet, I've heard that word used by ...
A. 14 January 2014: I don't really know when I should be talking about my vagina or breasts to anyone, and yea, I'm a little too old to find "cute" nick names.
Cunt is really CRUDE.
Snatch and twat is more of a word I'd use instead of a cuss word - like dick for ... (read in full...)
He ran away without even listening to me
Q. [Moderator note: Here is a link to this OP's previously submitted question: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-boyfriend-announced-he-wanted-a-month-apart.html] My boyfriend of 4 1/2 years broke up with me over 2 months ago and I can...
A. 14 January 2014: Like I said in my other answer, contact a solicitor to see if your family can recoup the money, personally I wouldn't hold my breath.
I know it hurts, but you are GOING to have to accept that he CHECKED out of the relationship a LONG time ago beca... (read in full...)
The ex doesn't like my boyfriend spending time with our daughter
Q. Hello aunts and uncles. I am 21, and I share a 2 year old daughter with my ex boyfriend. When we were together he constantly cheated on, but he always managed to convince me that whoever had told me was lying. It wasn't until I found text messages ...
A. 14 January 2014: I agree stop trying to get the ex to met the new BF. It's not going to work, THOUGH the idea is a mature and smart one (from your side to introduce the men your ex is just a jealous moron, who wants you to stay single and miserable like HE is).
... (read in full...)
Why on earth do women agree to an FWB situation?
Q. After reading so many posts here and seeing what girls and women do around me, I have a question, why on Earth women agree to FWB situation?? I understand if casual sex just happens once, in a heat of a moment, once very rarely and it's not a no...
A. 14 January 2014: I really don't know why women who WANTS a relationship does FWB, but I do know that women who wants "just sex" think it's a better option then a string of ONS. Safer then going home drunk with a "sexy" stranger.
All I can say is, for those wo... (read in full...)
I want to satisfy all his needs but not with a threesome!
Q. Ok so i know this is a probably a typical silly question to ask but i want to know your opinions on having a threesome based in a relationship!! Small bit of background Im with my partner just over 6 months now we are both similar people and even ...
A. 14 January 2014: I think adding more people to the bedroom is the beginning of the end.
IF YOU feel strongly about NOT wanting a 3-some you shouldn't HAVE to do to keep your man. HE should be OK with not not HAVING the same fantasies as he does. NOT all fantasie... (read in full...)
Should I stick around for him or bail out?
Q. i met this new guy over the christmas period at the lake. xmas day to be precise. his name is John (not real name). we started off very well.we met by the beach.i had a little problem with my car and it just happened that i mentioned about it in ...
A. 14 January 2014: Personally (and maybe because I'm an old fashioned person) I would not date someone who is still married. Even if the divorce is ongoing, and the wife is out of the country, he is still TECHNICALLY married. So his first priority is is daughter, then ... (read in full...)
His two best friends havent reacted to his FB post about us being engaged!
Q. My Fiance proposed to me 2 weeks ago. We were away at the time so he put it on facebook. Most of his friends wrote a message or called him but his 2 BEST friends of 30 + years who he's travelled the world with etc are still yet to contact him. I ...
A. 14 January 2014: I think men use Facebook differently then women. Secondly, it's Facebook.
Maybe they will call and chat, but I'm not really sure what you were expecting? It is a HUGE deal for you and your fiance, maybe not so much for them? Are they still si... (read in full...)
Is this woman just an angry person?
Q. When she let you down sometimes and has severe mood swings, insults you verbally and acting angry towards you, without a serious reason, what would you do to handle the situation?( my attempt was just ignoring it....) For example: she gets made ab...
A. 14 January 2014: I would end it. She isn't even willing to talk about it let alone fix it or TRY and fix it.
Walk away, this is HER issues.
Can you imagine her as a mother? Let alone a long term partner?
Why waste more time on this doomed relationship?
... (read in full...)
What did this comment mean?
Q. Ok so I was talking to this girl for a month (we liked each other) and then she said she just wanted to be friends. One month later she sent me a text saying "hey :)" and I replied "sup" and got off without giving her a chance to reply. (I haven't ...
A. 13 January 2014: She might be, but who cares - right?
Talking smack about you behind you back will ONLY make her look dumb.
Stop fretting about her and what she may or may not do, you can't control it and in the BIG picture it REALLY doesn't matter. Let her ... (read in full...)
I feel let down by my friend! Am I out of order?
Q. Hello, this may be quite a long question so please bare with me. My birthday is coming up, one of my plans for it was to go around town at the weekend of my birthday. Another was a surprise which my mum had planned for me which was a spa day the ...
A. 13 January 2014: I would JUST take L to the Spa and go out with her.
R is being a bitch and YES, I agree with llifton she is mad at you for something and "punishing you" instead of telling what's up.
I'd tell he that the spa is cancelled and not mention goin... (read in full...)
I suspect my wife is cheating
Q. I am married for my second time and feel I may have made a major mistake. She is a teacher and on the surface seemed to be the kind of person I was looking for. She was into family as at the time we both had kids about the same age at that tim...
A. 13 January 2014: You could get sneaky and buy a voice activated recorder (they are around $30 at Radioshack) and put it under her seat in her car.
You could check her phone bill - get a itemized printout. (if you share phone plan).
Expensive chocolate from a... (read in full...)
What did this comment mean?
Q. Ok so I was talking to this girl for a month (we liked each other) and then she said she just wanted to be friends. One month later she sent me a text saying "hey :)" and I replied "sup" and got off without giving her a chance to reply. (I haven't ...
A. 13 January 2014: You could have left the comment up, you WANTED her to see that you deleted it, SHE wanted to let you know that she DID notice and that she was a little offended that you deleted it.
Why not just un-friend and block her? then she can post whatever... (read in full...)
What did this comment mean?
Q. Ok so I was talking to this girl for a month (we liked each other) and then she said she just wanted to be friends. One month later she sent me a text saying "hey :)" and I replied "sup" and got off without giving her a chance to reply. (I haven't ...
A. 13 January 2014: Probably hurt her feeling that you aren't pining over her. Honestly I would just delete and block her.
She was being snarky, basically.
Just ignore it. She made the choice to "just" be friends. You have no obligation to do that.... (read in full...)
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