My ex who tried to ruin my relationship has contacted me. I don't want to hurt her, but I don't want to hurt my partner. What should I do?
Q. Me and my ex broke up back in June after being together for a year and a half. We tried being friends but this proved impossible after I started seeing someone four months later. This lead to something of a bitter parting for us. She and her family ...
A. 2 June 2014: Yikes what a passive-aggressive cow your ex's mother is, no wonder where the EX learned her behavior.
I would NOT dignify her message with an answer, I would BLOCK her and her whole family ASAP.
BLOCK BLOCK and IGNORE.
And tell the GF so sh... (read in full...)
Does he want me or not? Why stalk me but not speak to me?
Q. i had a relationship with a man that was at the point of engagement. while there were some communication issues to be worked out, he left the relationship before sorting anything. now that we are apart, he does not want to be together and won't ...
A. 24 February 2014: I don't think you should have to re-shuffle your life because HE doesn't want to date you. Specially if you don't feel worried about him.
The reason I put up the pay attention and stay safe is because I was stalked, and it WAS scary. Someone ... (read in full...)
How do I get an aggresive suitor to back off a little without chasing him completely away
Q. This year, I told myself and God that I am going to get married. I don't have a boyfriend yet but just dating. I went to Dublin to see my ex December and even though the long distance is still an issue we are still very hopeful. Then when I came bac...
A. 24 February 2014: Then tell Mr. Africa that it's moving WAY to fast for you. IT IS OK to tell a guy that.
And being upfront with a guy telling him you are talking to/dating more then one guy is the right thing to do. Don't act like a kid in the candy store. If th... (read in full...)
What is left to do safely without getting HPV?
Q. I am a a 31 year old female recently divorced and now dating again. Recently I got out of an almost year long relationship with a man, and I now test positive for HPV after my Pap Smear. Here is the situation: We did everything right, we both ...
A. 24 February 2014: I agree with SVC, get tested once a year if you show abnormal cell and doctor suggest removing them, get it done. Be proactive.
With that said it's apparently VERY common. And you can't test for it (like you already know).
HPV was known to the... (read in full...)
Broken up for 1.5 years yet still cry almost every day
Q. Has anyone else ever thought about something an ex did even though you've been broken up for a year and a half? The thing he did was two years ago. I don't want to say what it was. I cry nearly every day. My parents think I'm mentally ill as I ...
A. 24 February 2014: I agree with CaringGuy
If you keep bottling it up and not talk it out, you will not move past it.
I would also consider talking to the doctor because you could have some kind of depression which hold you back from moving forward.... (read in full...)
Should I tell my boyfriend that I'm a lesbian and get this over with?
Q. Here goes. I've been abnormal from the get-go, okay? All of my friends would blabber on and on about the floppy-haired fellow down the hall while my thoughts gravitated towards the lunch menu. I never seek out any boys myself, but I'll be damned if ...
A. 23 February 2014: Chin up, it will get better. Just focus on you, your educations, your family and your friends.... (read in full...)
Some questions about sex and oral contraceptives.
Q. So recently my girlfriend and i have started using oral contraception in place of condoms after getting checked out, we were loving it and i cumed first, as men usually do and because of a lack of condom it was inside her. After 10 minutes or so we ...
A. 23 February 2014: Well the cum has only ONE way to go... out. It's simple laws of gravity.
Also as LOVELY as it feels for you, using a condom is a smart thing to do, oral contraceptives are NOT 100%. You are still a little young to want a baby, right?
And I a... (read in full...)
Should I tell my boyfriend that I'm a lesbian and get this over with?
Q. Here goes. I've been abnormal from the get-go, okay? All of my friends would blabber on and on about the floppy-haired fellow down the hall while my thoughts gravitated towards the lunch menu. I never seek out any boys myself, but I'll be damned if ...
A. 23 February 2014: I would just tell him you aren't really ready to date ANYONE right now. And leave it at that. If you are NOT ready to come out as a lesbian (and you sound like you aren't sure about your sexuality yourself) then don't label yourself. There is no ... (read in full...)
My thirteen year old caught my husband and I having sex. How do I repair the relationship with her?
Q. so every friday, my susband has a day off. we thought to make it special on valentines day, and ended up having sex. we didn't hear the key turn in the door because the next thing i know, my thirteen yearold daughter's standing in the doorway ...
A. 23 February 2014: All I can think is EWW, I would have hated to walk in on my parents at that age. And I'm in my 40's.
I would tell her you are sorry to have put her in such an awkward situation, and that it won't happen again. If she needs to talk about it, you ... (read in full...)
How can I deal with these noisy people?
Q. This is quite a basic question but I feel like I need some objective advice on the matter. Basically, I live in a halls of residence at university so I don't expect silence in the slightest, I knew when I moved in that there would be noise and so ...
A. 23 February 2014: With earplugs you will still hear a fire- alarm. Same with SOME noise canceling head phones.
I'm very hard of hearing, but we lived for a while RIGHT next to a heli pad in temporary housing.... and I tell you..... THAT is noisy. Ear plugs did the ... (read in full...)
All are blaming me for reporting what I had to. What are your thoughts on people be allowed to bring their children or baby to their workplace?
Q. What is everyone's opinion on people bringing their babies/ children to the work place? The reason I ask is because last week 1 of my colleagues, who is on maternity leave came in with her baby who is 7 months old. We work in a call centre and...
A. 23 February 2014: I think you should have told HER that you have a customer complaining and could she take the baby out til he is done fussing? It could have been handled with a lot less drama.
She (The mom) was being blatantly ignorant. My guess is she was so e... (read in full...)
He keeps cancelling on me at the last minute
Q. I have been talking to a guy for a few weeks now. I really like him and he says he likes me, too. We have similar interests and career goals (music and art) and we are both kind of socially awkward and creative people; I think we click well (but he ...
A. 23 February 2014: I agree, drop him.
1 socially awkward person in a relationship can work, 2.. not so well.
You even TOLD him, give me a few days in advance notice and he ignored it.
Work on yourself and being socially awkward, it takes times, but it will... (read in full...)
Does he want me or not? Why stalk me but not speak to me?
Q. i had a relationship with a man that was at the point of engagement. while there were some communication issues to be worked out, he left the relationship before sorting anything. now that we are apart, he does not want to be together and won't ...
A. 23 February 2014: Block his access so he can't CYBER stalk you. It's freaking creepy.
Why does he stalk you? Because even if HE didn't want to be with you, he still wants to keep taps on you and he doesn't want you dating someone else.
Stalkers can be quite dan... (read in full...)
Big Girl with Low Self Esteem. And I just lost my virginity to my married friend. What should I do now?
Q. I’m sort of a big girl who has always had a very low self-esteem because of my size. As a matter of fact, up until a week ago I was still a virgin at 26 thanks to my insecurities. I’ve been best friends with a guy since high school that I’ve alw...
A. 23 February 2014: Should you call and tell the wife? You think telling her will FIX the friendship? Are you THAT naive? Will telling her make it all better? No. Not for you and certainly NOT for the wife.
You can not go back to what it was. When YOU CHOSE to kiss ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant, but who's the daddy!
Q. heya, iv just found out im pregant and im not sure who the father is. i found out 4 days ago that i am pregrant and still am not sure if i should keep it or not. there are two possible fathers but there is only 3 days between them, so could n...
A. 23 February 2014: I think you need to decide if you WANT to have the baby or not. If you DO decide to go through with the pregnancy, you should tell them that you are pregnant and do not know who the father is.
I would not suggest an early DNA test. I would wa... (read in full...)
One of his fantasies makes me really uncomfortable
Q. Ok hoping this doesn't sound completely lame but I need opinions. Having a really wonderful connection and long distance relationship with great guy . We share a lot and talk about fantasies which is really nice and we seem to really get one another ...
A. 22 February 2014: I agree with person12345 It's a common fantasy and it is QUITE OK that you don't think it's a turn on FOR you. Figure out why it bothers you and then talk to him.... (read in full...)
Should I bake and take him a cake?
Q. I am overcoming a long, co-dependent relationship. I have looked into my childhood with help of a counsellor and I understand why I was co-dependent. In order to change and move on I've had to not only look at co-dependency in my past ...
A. 22 February 2014: No worries, it's good you cleared it up.
But like I said (and I still stand by my advice) BAKE for the whole office, not just him. Or bake for occasions - such as Birthday/promotions/new baby/moving away.
However..... baking lovely cookie... (read in full...)
We are both single. He visits me, offers cuddles only. Does he want a relationship or not? Your thoughts?
Q. Hi im in a very confusing situation. I have known this man since last September i really like him but i cant tell if he wants to be with me or not. Every time i see him which is maybe once a month he comes to my place we watch a dvd he kisses and c...
A. 22 February 2014: He's been doing this since September and NOT asked you out yet?
My guess he likes you, but he isn't INTO you.
... (read in full...)
She's confusing me... where do I stand?
Q. I am really feeling confused with this girl. I sometimes have the impression she likes me, but I also have the impression my mind is playing tricks on me. I will begin with a small summary about me: I am a 29 yo guy who has little experience in lo...
A. 22 February 2014: Stick with being friends with her....
I wouldn't deem her a keeper. You already know how she treats her "soon-to-be-ex" - you think she would treat you better? And then add the whole work together. If it doesn't work out, how awkward is that goi... (read in full...)
Should I interfere?
Q. I have two older sisters and, unfortunately there is a fall out with the eldest one and she has been off the scene for a year and a half. I learned she was dating someone older and she visited our mother at Christmas with him. Right enough, he is ni...
A. 22 February 2014: I agree with Cindy too. 100%
She is an adult, not some naive 16 year old. You going behind her back and contacting the ex-wife is just.. nuts.
YOU don't have to like whomever she is dating.
If she ASKS you what you think of him you can tel... (read in full...)
Is it normal for females to ban their partners from watching porn?
Q. Is it normal for females to ban thier partners from watching porn? My girlfriend of one year does not like it if I watch porn. I was not too bothered because she is very attractive to me and sex is really good long sessions, leaving us both hap...
A. 22 February 2014: Personally, I think porn is lame and fake and distort what being sexually intimate is all about, however.... I know my husband occasionally watch porn and it doesn't bother me. My biggest issue with him watching it was because of the kids - I don't ... (read in full...)
Does having anal sex make me no longer a virgin?
Q. I pledged not to lose my virginity until marrige but it has been hard with my kind of personality seeing naked guys and me getting wet. All the thoughts about having sex. I have a guy in my house currently and he has been here for over a week. At ...
A. 22 February 2014: Anal SEX is called that because it's SEX.
Yes, you are "technically" a virgin because - the way to lose your virginity is a penis PENETRATING your vagina, not your butt.
However, I think it's ridiculous that you are willing to let a guy stick ... (read in full...)
How do I get an aggresive suitor to back off a little without chasing him completely away
Q. This year, I told myself and God that I am going to get married. I don't have a boyfriend yet but just dating. I went to Dublin to see my ex December and even though the long distance is still an issue we are still very hopeful. Then when I came bac...
A. 22 February 2014: How do you tell a guy he is being a little to "Aggressive" in his approach to you?
YOU TELL THEM.
Next time Mr. Africa tells you he LOVES you, tell him it's a nice compliment but that he doesn't know you well enough to use the word love. And t... (read in full...)
How do I get an aggresive suitor to back off a little without chasing him completely away
Q. This year, I told myself and God that I am going to get married. I don't have a boyfriend yet but just dating. I went to Dublin to see my ex December and even though the long distance is still an issue we are still very hopeful. Then when I came bac...
A. 21 February 2014: You don't think all the out of the blue contact and profession of love has to do with a green card more then actual love?
As much as you two have talked on the phone and through e-mails you don't really know the guy.
Now you say he is a frie... (read in full...)
Should I bake and take him a cake?
Q. I am overcoming a long, co-dependent relationship. I have looked into my childhood with help of a counsellor and I understand why I was co-dependent. In order to change and move on I've had to not only look at co-dependency in my past ...
A. 21 February 2014: If it was his birthday or a promotion were in order, I can see a baked cake - or if you bake one and set it in the office tea room (if you have one) for all to share, but to bake him a cake "just to show him" how feminine and good cook you are? That ... (read in full...)
My ex who tried to ruin my relationship has contacted me. I don't want to hurt her, but I don't want to hurt my partner. What should I do?
Q. Me and my ex broke up back in June after being together for a year and a half. We tried being friends but this proved impossible after I started seeing someone four months later. This lead to something of a bitter parting for us. She and her family ...
A. 21 February 2014: Auntie BimBim is right.
You EX isn't texting/contacting you because she CARES about you and YOUR life - she reaches out because she WANTS to. She wants to remind you that she is still there. The text was about HER. You ex isn't GOING to apologiz... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for disliking my sister?
Q. Am I wrong for this? I'm starting to not like my sister. She is always gossiping about someone and she has nothing positive to say about anything. I hate it when people clean other people's closet and not their's. I'm college student looking to go ...
A. 20 February 2014: Are you wrong? No. Sister or not, you don't have to like EVERYTHING she does.
If I were you I would let her be who she is and YOU be who YOU are. If you are positive person and she is negative, minimize the time you spend with her.
My gues... (read in full...)
Do I tell him? I'd like to forgive and forget but I'm pregnant by him!
Q. I reconnected with an old family friend this past summer. we began talking a lot and became really close. eventually he asked me to be his gf. we live in different states so he flew me out to visit for a few weeks. when I returned, we hardly lasted ...
A. 20 February 2014: I agree with all the aunties. Solid advice.
SVC wrote a good common sense statement that you can call and tell him or send him by REGISTERED mail. I would include a "doctor's note" if you can ( I know some doctors will do it - confirming the preg... (read in full...)
What can I do to make him respect me?
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for two years and we have talked about marriage. Initially when we went out together in public his eyes were on me, but for the past year he has had a wandering eye and will look women up and down (with his sungla...
A. 20 February 2014: The looking at other women I don't really see a problem with, people don't go blind when they get a mate. However, he isn't just looking he is ogling and taking picture - the latter is rather creepy IMO.
I find his behavior more disrespe... (read in full...)
I want my wife to give me a break! I am NOT looking at other women!
Q. My problem is this; that every time we go out, be it the mall, supermarket, wherever, she will accuse me of looking at another women, even though I most certainly am not, and most of the time don't even know who she is referring to until I really do ...
A. 20 February 2014: I would stop wanting to go ANYWHERE with her if this is the reaction I'd get. And I would tell her JUST that. People have eyes they will look, doesn't mean you are LUSTING after every passing female.
Is this new behavior?
My guess is there i... (read in full...)
If she isn't hiding anything, why the secrecy? Why the distance?
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for about 6 months. Our relationship has been great and really seems to have a potential future, but my girlfriends behavior troubles me... Yesterday she mentioned that she was out with a friend. I'm not one to pry, ...
A. 20 February 2014: I can see two scenarios.
1. she felt you were questioning her out of mistrust and thus refused to answer.
2. she IS hiding something and it not sure what to do with the info.
My thing is it might just come down to HOW you asked or rather ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend won't have sex with me
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 years. We are both 22.We used to have a great sex life but over the last 6 months, he doesnt want sex with me. I'd say this has happened gradually, before I had hope but now I know it's useless. He says ...
A. 20 February 2014: I agree with WiseOwlE
He has checked out of the relationship. He still LIKES you, he still likes having someone to come home to, but he is no longer interested in putting forth and effort to keep YOU happy.
He knows exactly what to say to k... (read in full...)
Shut my friends out because of my relationship
Q. Since getting with my boyfriend in August 2013, I've hardly seen my friends. I used to see them almost every weekend, we would go out and have drinks and have a laugh. I miss some of them alot but I'm too stubborn to admit I've been in the wrong as ...
A. 20 February 2014: I had a female friend who would "vanish" from the group of friends EVERY TIME she get a BF - it would usually last about 6 months and then she would call out of the blue and want to socialize with us all again. (we DID try an reach out to her as ... (read in full...)
His excuses are all legit, but I kinda want to put my foot down
Q. Is he nervous or uninterested? I'm in tears right now :( I just don't know what to do anymore. Theres a guy who i like so much, you know when you just click with someone. I've known him for about 3 years and weve always thought each other w...
A. 20 February 2014: You are wasting your time on him. You can stomp or put your foot down a million times, he is who he is.
I would stop putting all your hopes on this one. He might have some kind of anxiety, but I kind of doubt it since you two have had one date tha... (read in full...)
The more time I go being frustrated, the more arseholes I attract & the more depressed I get. What am I doing wrong? Should I lower my standards?
Q. I'm completely confused. I need help figuing out what I want. It's been 7 months since I've been in a relationship and had sex. Which isn't long I know but I've got a high sex drive and I'm very hormonal.. I'm 23 and completely sexually...
A. 20 February 2014: Should you lower your standards? It depends on your standards. But in general, no, you shouldn't.
Have you tried to go out and NOT be looking for your next BF, just go out and have fun with friends?
How exactly are these guys disrespecting yo... (read in full...)
I made great plans but now I'm having second thoughts about everything
Q. I'm currently in my final year at college (year 13) studying Media and Film, I have also applied for universities and have had all 5 offers back to study Journalism. The University I have chosen as my first choice is Sunderland, which is about 2 ...
A. 20 February 2014: Do you have a career counselor at your current school? If so go talk to her/him and figure out where to go from there.
Nothing is set in stone when it comes to education.
Also consider talking to your mom. My guess is that she WANTS you to be ... (read in full...)
Ewww!!! It became apparent pretty soon into our first telephone call that he was masturbating at the same time!!
Q. I had been building a 'relationship' with a guy online for about 2 months which started with just messaging, then we emailed, then text...eventually when I felt confident enough we spoke on the mobile phone yesterday. It became apparent pretty soon ...
A. 20 February 2014: I don't think it's a far jump from sexting to masturbating while talking (or phone sex), even if you hadn't agreed to it. What exactly did you think he was doing with the intimate texts/pictures?
If you are willing to have intimate conversa... (read in full...)
Ewww!!! It became apparent pretty soon into our first telephone call that he was masturbating at the same time!!
Q. I had been building a 'relationship' with a guy online for about 2 months which started with just messaging, then we emailed, then text...eventually when I felt confident enough we spoke on the mobile phone yesterday. It became apparent pretty soon ...
A. 20 February 2014: I don't think it's a far jump from sexting to masturbating while talking (or phone sex), even if you hadn't agreed to it. What exactly did you think he was doing with the intimate texts/pictures?
If you are willing to have intimate conversa... (read in full...)
She broke up with me, acts like we're still in a relationship, but is talking to other guys
Q. So my girlfriend broke up with me after a year of being together. We moved in together after three months of being together so we have a close bond. My ex states that she doesnt think she loves me enough and that she isn't happy within herself so ...
A. 19 February 2014: If she refuses to give back your keys, change the locks. It might cost a few Pounds, but that way you know she can't jsut show up as she pleases. She moved out. She ENDED it.
Stop talking to her, stop texting, stop seeing her, having sex and CATE... (read in full...)
Does asking for pictures make him a bad guy?
Q. I can't believe it has come to this again. Last week a met this guy through Uni and instantly started messaging me on Facebook once he tracked me down. And has not stopped since. He was shaping into such a nice guy, even invited me out for ...
A. 19 February 2014: I forgot to answer your initial question.
Does it make him a bad guy?
No. But like FA so brilliantly pointed out - IT IS a symptom of how people communicate today and how they see others. Instant gratification Generation. That is your generati... (read in full...)
Did I scare her off when I confessed she was my first kiss?
Q. So, I'm a 19 YOM and I went on my first legitimate date on Friday. Was girl I'd known for a while, thought she was cute, just never thought I'd date her. Anyways, I ask her out last minute, we go out and have a great time. She seemed to have a great ...
A. 19 February 2014: I agree with SCV - call her.
And when you ask a girl out, don't leave it hanging. ASK her out, set a time and date (and give her at least 3-4 days notice) don't see I'm free these days so call me. THAT is NOT asking a girl out.
She did blow ... (read in full...)
Any good stories about threesomes?
Q. Anybody have threesome (MFF in my case) SUCCESS stories? You read about how most relationships fall apart after a threesome but surely this is because it was an attempt to save an already dying marriage? Obviously there would be some that couldn...
A. 19 February 2014: I have never participated in 3-somes it's just not something I have fantasies about.
However, many of my friends (specially the male friends) have all had 3-some and the most successful ones were when EVERYONE involved were single. That way ther... (read in full...)
My parents or my boyfriend? I feel like my parents are making me choose!
Q. Hello, my name is Alexis and I have been dating my boyfriend for five years. My mom works in the same school that I go to and a year ago my boyfriend went into rehab for smoking weed and just doing stupid things that he shouldn't have done. During ...
A. 19 February 2014: I will also agree with Cerberus 100%.
I have 3 daughters and I would NOT be happy with them dating a guy like your BF.
And 10 months rehab for pot? No way. There is more to the rehab then weed/pot. It's good that he got help if he has a problem... (read in full...)
Does asking for pictures make him a bad guy?
Q. I can't believe it has come to this again. Last week a met this guy through Uni and instantly started messaging me on Facebook once he tracked me down. And has not stopped since. He was shaping into such a nice guy, even invited me out for ...
A. 19 February 2014: I think sex talk and asking for pictures SO early on is a bit of a red flag. Because it makes he seem like he is OBJECTIFYING you, seeing you as a body, walking vagina, NOT a person. BUT you can also look at in a more positive light and say he is ... (read in full...)
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