Should my friend's fiance pay rent or not?
Q. Ok so my friend and i are thinking of moving in together. Her fiance stays over 5-6 dys a week. I think its fair that he contrubutes to sum of the bills but she says no. She says firstly there is no way in hell he will pay as he dont earn that much ...
A. 14 March 2014: Yep, let HER and HER bf get a place for themselves and find someone else to room with.
She is leaving because the people she SHARES with right now don't agree with her either, so she was hoping that a friend would let her do whatever she wants an... (read in full...)
I'm struggling with what he calls his dry sense of humour
Q. I love my boyfriend who is 40 of 7 months but don't like aspects of his personality. He can be very sarcastic and make derogatory comments about my weight. I'm a size 12 Uk and run and ramble, bike on the Downs etc. He makes comments about women ...
A. 13 March 2014: Gah... Sorry for the typos!
It should have read "it shows a lot more then they THINK."... (read in full...)
I'm struggling with what he calls his dry sense of humour
Q. I love my boyfriend who is 40 of 7 months but don't like aspects of his personality. He can be very sarcastic and make derogatory comments about my weight. I'm a size 12 Uk and run and ramble, bike on the Downs etc. He makes comments about women ...
A. 13 March 2014: I agree with Auntie Em.
It's like when people use the word "retard" for dumb things or "gay" for things they don't agree with, "dyke" for a woman who either turn then down or doesn't conform to their idea of how a woman should behave. It's a n... (read in full...)
How can I regain his trust? How long will it take? And can someone fall in love again after this kind of hardship?
Q. So to sum it up I had feelings for this guy "E." Who didn't like me back. "W" helped me through the grieving process. "E" and "W"are best friends. W started to have feelings for me but I kept rejecting him because I was still grieving. Finally after ...
A. 13 March 2014: It's not about you having to "give up" on anything, it's about having a little respect for other people's feelings. W in this case.
If you give him some space, SHOW him some respect by not trying to PUSH him into whatever it is you want, who know... (read in full...)
Need a place to turn in a marriage where I feel like I have no choice
Q. My stepdaughter has always been a source of problems, particularly when it comes to her relationship with her mother: whatever stepdaughter wants, stepdaughter gets. Over the near 17 years of my marriage I've been mostly able to afford these ext...
A. 13 March 2014: I agree with Uncle C.Grant (as usual) TALK to your wife. Give her a chance to help you FIX this.
Sit down with your wife and tell her, this is your limit. That the TWO of you need to give HER daughter (insert her name) the chance to be an ADULT, w... (read in full...)
How can I regain his trust? How long will it take? And can someone fall in love again after this kind of hardship?
Q. So to sum it up I had feelings for this guy "E." Who didn't like me back. "W" helped me through the grieving process. "E" and "W"are best friends. W started to have feelings for me but I kept rejecting him because I was still grieving. Finally after ...
A. 13 March 2014: Yep to Auntie iAmHereToHelpYou.
This isn't love.
You were INFATUATED or LUSTED after E. It wasn't love. You then "settled" for W, because you knew he was a decent fella but the moment you saw a chance with E you dropped W so you could gt "cl... (read in full...)
Why would he delete my number after all this?
Q. Hey, so I've been dating this guy for a month we aren't boyfriend and girlfriend but he likes to say we are and act like it. Anyway we cut things off a while ago and decided to just be 'friends' his choice not mine (He's muslim and said we can't be...
A. 13 March 2014: I have to agree with Maureen1979.
He told you there would be no relationship yet he strung you along with texting and calling, where he really should just have cut you off from the get go. BUT he wanted sex and sure enough he got it, and once he ... (read in full...)
How do you get over a crush and what is the best way to do so?
Q. Hi cupid How do you get over a crush and what is the best way to do so? Can you stay friends or no contact is the rule! Staying friends doesn't mean there is hope of you being with that person any soon! So what do you guys think about it ?...
A. 12 March 2014: No contact would be the top priority. If you try and stay friends I don't think you can "get over" the crush anytime soon. Because she is there as a CONSTANT reminder of WHO you want to BE with, but WHO you CAN'T be with.
Avoid being around h... (read in full...)
My friend is offended by her work colleages, was she right to be?
Q. A good friend of mine has recently been on 2 wks vacation from work, she didn't go anywhere, she stayed in our city and relaxed, saw friend etc. She went back to work on Monday, when I met up with her yesterday (for a coffee after work) she c...
A. 12 March 2014: I agree, they most likely thought she took time of for personal reasons and most people, UNLESS they are either massively nosy or KNOW you well, will NOT ask. Because it's POLITE not to intrude.
I see no reason to be upset either.
... (read in full...)
Tax credit awards. Is my dad taking all the money?
Q. I was not born in the UK I moved here when I was 8. I thought that if a child is not born in this country then they can't get child benefits or tax whatever. A letter can through today from HM revenue and customs about tax credits award wi...
A. 12 March 2014: I think your best bet is to call HM revenue and see if anyone can help you.
HOWEVER, if you are OVER 18 and your DAD is paying for your classes, food, utilities the money might be towards HIS cost of raising you and your siblings.
IF you ... (read in full...)
When I told him "no" he sent all our correspondence to my husband! Why would he do such a thing?
Q. He Was All I Ever Wanted.. Okay this is really long story I really need advice not commended for my actions or thus confession. It started 3 years ago I began work and myself and a colleague started to develop feelings but never acted on them. W...
A. 12 March 2014: Revenge. Pure and simple you didn't play into his game, you played your OWN game for YOUR benefit - he played HIS for HIS benefit.
Like Cerberus said, you need to OWN your actions.
And I think you JUST saw a side of this man whom you thought... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is mad that I lost something special he gave me. Help!
Q. Hey everyone, When my boyfriend and I initially started dating like a month into the relationship he gave me something which he thought brought luck to him, we have been together for a year now.. It was something he valued and he gave it to me an...
A. 12 March 2014: Replace it?
Find a nice zippo and have it engraved or something. And keep looking.
You can ONLY apologize so much.... (read in full...)
Feeling horribly guilty after breaking up with my boyfriend.
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend of two years, three weeks ago. I genuinely loved him and felt that we had a solid connection. Yet, throughout the course of our relationship, I had to pay for our $1800/month rent, the bills, and the majority of our ...
A. 12 March 2014: Tell him to come pick up his stuff (arrange a time and date) and then cut the contact.
He has LET you carry the load for 2 years and NOW he wants YOU to feel bad for NO LONGER wanting to carry the full load and row the relationship boat.
... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend looking for someone else?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend a little over a year and I've noticed within the last few months he seems to be less interested in spending time with me. We live together but don't see each other that much because of work. The only thing we really do ...
A. 12 March 2014: I would start to disentangle myself from this guy. You share an apartment AND a car?
How does that work financially? Are you both on the lease? The car, who owns it? And how do you two pay for it?
Have you told him, you want to DO things to... (read in full...)
We used to laugh together but now I'm not laughing with him
Q. How do I tell my boyfriend that he is seriously hurting my feelings? We've always been the best of friends for almost 5 years, the kind of friends that could cut up together, with sarcasm, and humor. We've said some of the most rudest, meanest ...
A. 12 March 2014: I agree with Auntie llifton
Don't CHANGE what you have. You CAN still joke around, just because it went from friendship to relationship doesn't mean humor goes out the window.
Personally, I would have fired something smart-ass back when he sai... (read in full...)
Should I 'go there' with this older friend?
Q. Basically I need some advice as to whether or not I should ‘go there’ with a friend. So, I have known this guy since I was 20, I am now 24 and he is 40. We met through work and were good friends. After I left my job, we did not speak for a whil...
A. 12 March 2014: My advice, don't play with fire if you don't want to get burned.
The reason he is going back and forth is because he is testing his boundaries and maybe he is a bit unsure about taking it further.
The thing is, he might not mind a young gir... (read in full...)
His texts are becoming less frequent and he always leaves the conversations hanging. Lost cause?
Q. I began seeing a guy at the start of this year after meeting him on an online dating site. Now we immediately hit it off and in the back and forth of our conversation we figured out that he worked in the company I was just starting in. Things de...
A. 12 March 2014: He says he wants to met up and talk?
My guess is he will pull a "I'm not ready for a relationship- speech" not because of anything YOU have done but because he isn't as not you as you are into him.
2 1/2 months in and his contact is wanin... (read in full...)
Was he falling for me or was I just a distraction?
Q. I made contact with an old childhood friend on Facebook...we are both in our 40s now and it was nice to catch up on what had happened in our lives.We are both married and we would chat everyday....he said he suffered from depression, I felt sorry ...
A. 12 March 2014: If this is OP's followup question, then here is the answer.
*****If this was just a fantasy for me, then why am I feeling so low?***
Have you ever had a GREAT Dream? and then work up? That is what happened to you.
YOU are BORED or UNHA... (read in full...)
Should my friend's fiance pay rent or not?
Q. Ok so my friend and i are thinking of moving in together. Her fiance stays over 5-6 dys a week. I think its fair that he contrubutes to sum of the bills but she says no. She says firstly there is no way in hell he will pay as he dont earn that much ...
A. 12 March 2014: I can see him paying towards the food (also water/electric) but if YOU and HER are the people on the lease YOU and HER share the rent.
I would however not move in with her, because she doesn't think he needs to contribute AT ALL. Which mean you... (read in full...)
Family standards and Norms: I feel uncomfortable with how my husband's female teenage cousins behave around him. Am I over-reacting?
Q. I know lots of families have different "norms" for clothing so I'm wondering if I'm over reacting. My husbands teenage cousins seem to have no shame even when he's around. They will walk around in just a bra or braless (with a shirt so their ...
A. 12 March 2014: I sounds like pretty standard teen behavior. My girls who are teens/pre-teens will run around after a shower in a towel or a robe. Now, we do not share the house so it's not at all a big deal. Being OK with your body is not being un-ladylike.
... (read in full...)
Said that she loves me but isn't in love with me -- could this change?
Q. I feel in a strange place at the moment. My girlfriend left me and I honestly thought she was the one. She said she loves me but is not in love with me? DO you think this could change over time? I have agreed to give her time and space to think bu...
A. 11 March 2014: Nope, I don't think she will change her mind. And nope, she isn't "the one". (which I by the way agree with Ciar there is no such thing as "the one") You will met PLENTY of "ones" throughout your life, it all comes down to timing. If the timing is ... (read in full...)
He broke up with me but I don't feel like it's over
Q. I have recently been dumped my commitment phobic boyfriend. We were together for over 2 years, lived together, travelled a lot and I knew from day one he had a lot of emotional baggage. Now he's left me, but he still texts every morning and even...
A. 11 March 2014: I agree 100% with You Wish.
Breaking up was his choice, using you (YES USING) as his emotional crutch is just wrong. If he wanted you to NOT be with him, he should have the DECENCY to let YOU work on moving on WITHOUT him.
If he is depressed ... (read in full...)
His contact list has a photo of his ex wife but not one for me
Q. I'm hurt and confused, would you feel the same if you noticed your husband has a contact photo attached to his ex wife, his ex crush and even a platonic female friend but none for you. Does this mean I'm not pretty enough or not as special?...
A. 11 March 2014: My husband doesn't have a photo in his phone for me either - but not for his ex either. He has for his brother and that is it.
With their past history of inappropriate behavior I understand why you feel that way. But like Ciar says, it wouldn't... (read in full...)
He wants me to sell my home and buy a bigger house but his drinking concerns me
Q. Hello there - Am after some advice. I am 40 years old and am living with my partner and our 6 month old baby. To cut things short my partner has always struggled with alcohol but is a loving partner and a wonderful Dad and never drinks at ...
A. 11 March 2014: Legally this would be a dumb thing. UNLESS you make sure to draw up a LOT of documents about the shared estate. Such as who put in how much money into the new house, who gets what, basically.
Also with his drinking, there are exponent... (read in full...)
The man I'm dating says he's not ready for a relationship
Q. I've been dating this man for over a month and I must say, it has been great. We got on really well and there is chemistry. But the problem is, last year he got out of a long term relationship and told me he's not ready to date (despite him tel...
A. 11 March 2014: If a guy says he isn't ready to date, he just PLAIN isn't. BUT e might be OK with sleeping with you, just as long as he can still do his thing and not be accountable to you.
I would walk away if you are LOOKING for a relationship. If you are look... (read in full...)
We went out on one date but he hasn't seemed interestd in another
Q. Hi everyone So I am just feeling strange about this one guy with whom I have had a few dates and wanted to get some objective opinions. Right, so I met this guy and then we proceeded to chat online for a long time (months, in fact), really g...
A. 11 March 2014: You write :
*******A few days later, he then said that we should organize to go out again some time. Sounded nice, but nothing concrete.***
Did you say:" that sounds great, what day, time will work for you"? Or did you say:" sounds good."
... (read in full...)
How should I go about this without seeming needy or desperate?
Q. Hi folks! Background: I met a girl about a month ago(someone new to my University). I immediately obtained her number and her Facebook, and on the very same day I walked her home after class. A bit over a week ago I took her out to lunch, which ...
A. 11 March 2014: Why not CALL her and ask her out (or something) instead of trying to carry on over text (which she SEEMS to dislike or "not enjoy")?
... (read in full...)
What should I make of these signs, please interpret for me?
Q. She said she's afraid she may like it too much when we discussed lesbian sex and her trying it. She is a friend of mine. We have a weird friendship. She loves me caressing her hair and back daily even while nude. She's allowed me to put my crotch ...
A. 11 March 2014: I would have a little guess and say she is bi-curious AT LEAST, but she hasn't come to terms with the girl/girl sex AT all. I think she is actually "worried" that she could be a lesbian.
I think if you are looking for a sexual partner SHE isn't it... (read in full...)
Do men have sex with women they aren't attracted to?
Q. This is a question for the men: would you sleep with someone you weren't attracted to? I was recently shocked to find out that a very attractive male acquaintance of mine had a one night stand with a very unattractive woman. This has lef...
A. 11 March 2014: I think SOME men will sleep with anyone.
And a woman being less attractive doesn't make her a bad bed fellow, who knows she might have some serious skills OR her personality is attractive.
I have seen GORGEOUS girls date/sleep with really non-... (read in full...)
She knows I'm no threat, so why is she getting all wierd?
Q. I've been really close with one of my male friends since the age of 2, I'm now 18, that's 16 years and I've been friends with his girlfriend for 7 years and all of a sudden she's getting weird with me when it comes to him. I am openly gay, ever...
A. 11 March 2014: If she keeps this up, maybe just hide your updates from her? So she can't see what YOU post?
I DO think she made a mountain out of a molehill here (specially if she thinks it's OK for HER to flirt/banter with YOUR GF). But now you know. She has ... (read in full...)
A question about how men aged around 50 express emotions?
Q. Hi I have a question about the way that men - especially men aged around 50 - express their emotions. I understand that, because of social conditioning, men and women may experience very similar emotional ranges but express them differently. ...
A. 11 March 2014: When a man is genuinely being abusive or angry doesn't mean he doesn't know how to express his feeling.
But there is also NO excuse for being a bully or abusive. It's a choice.
My advice, don't MIX work with romance. You two didn't pan out, ... (read in full...)
She knows I'm no threat, so why is she getting all wierd?
Q. I've been really close with one of my male friends since the age of 2, I'm now 18, that's 16 years and I've been friends with his girlfriend for 7 years and all of a sudden she's getting weird with me when it comes to him. I am openly gay, ever...
A. 11 March 2014: You beig gay doesn't mean she doesn't see you as comepetition for the guy's (her BF's) affections and gay or not, that DOES sound like you are hitting on him (even if you didn't intend that)
Just tone it down. Being gay doesn't mean you can do/s... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wants me to delete pictures of my ex's on Facebook... Is she overreacting or am I being unreasonable?
Q. Hi, I'm sorry to say that this problem is due to Facebook, you probably get lots of these! My girlfriend wants me to delete photos of me and my ex-girlfriends from Facebook. She doesn't seem to like the idea of them being on my page and she say...
A. 11 March 2014: She told you to jump. And you didn't say:" how high", so she said bye. Pretty obvious that she felt like you ignored her request.
My guess is that this is a new relationship and that she would down the line, find other things she wants you to c... (read in full...)
I want to leave her but I want my kid with me! Advice?
Q. Me and my partner have a four year old daughter. Two years ago I found out she was setting another guy, this being bad enough, I then found out she was on a sex site posting pics of herself!!!! I confronted her, we split but I couldn't bear being ...
A. 11 March 2014: I would (like CaringGuy mentioned) talk to a lawyer (solicitor) and find out where you stand. ASAP.
... (read in full...)
At 15 why is it so wrong to flirt with guys if I only want it to stay at the friend level? And why is it difficult to make friends with guys?
Q. I've seen a few posts in here about people who were taken the wrong way or who accidentally led guys on. It seems like most of you aunts and uncles think that flirting/hanging out one-on-one is leading a guy on (this happens to me ALL the time!) ...
A. 11 March 2014: I agree with Cerberus.
Flirting is an "art form" for those who know what they are doing, but even THEY can flirt with a person and THAT person mistakes it for desire/attraction and take it as a "come hither". Now add that you are ONLY 15 and have... (read in full...)
Was he falling for me or was I just a distraction?
Q. I made contact with an old childhood friend on Facebook...we are both in our 40s now and it was nice to catch up on what had happened in our lives.We are both married and we would chat everyday....he said he suffered from depression, I felt sorry ...
A. 11 March 2014: No wonder the wife got upset. I know you try and make it sound so innocent, but "falling" for someone isn't innocent, is it? Specially when you are both married.
How would you feel if your husband was meeting up with old "friends" from Facebook... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wants me to delete pictures of my ex's on Facebook... Is she overreacting or am I being unreasonable?
Q. Hi, I'm sorry to say that this problem is due to Facebook, you probably get lots of these! My girlfriend wants me to delete photos of me and my ex-girlfriends from Facebook. She doesn't seem to like the idea of them being on my page and she say...
A. 10 March 2014: How long have you been with this new GF?
... (read in full...)
Ready to date but I don't know where to start!
Q. I'm a recent grad who has been single for three years. I'm ready to meet someone! However there's no one I'm interested in at my workplace which is a small company. Is online dating worth a shot? What are some options for young professionals? ...
A. 10 March 2014: First off, don't look for dates at work. Whether you work in a big company or small. It's rarely worth the hassle.
Have you gone out with friends lately? (not just to clubs, but out for coffee, a movie, shopping, dinner and so forth).
Do you ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend constantly having mental breakdowns. Anyone experience this?
Q. So we have been together for over four years, but have only been living together for a year and a half. I didn't learn about these panic attacks/breakdowns until after we moved in together. He has been diagnosed with ADD and has severe anxiety. ...
A. 10 March 2014: He needs more then meds. Does he see a therapist? If not, I think he needs to find one who can "give" him or teach him some tools to use when he gets panic attacks.
If he refuses therapy/help, then you have 2 options:
Suck it up or leave.
... (read in full...)
I've never had a bj to completion, should I try with this guy?
Q. I am a 30 year old straight/bi curious man and I have never gotten a blowjob to completion. The woman has always stopped before I orgasm. I have the oppportunity to let another man give me a bj to completion. He wants to in the worst way and I am ...
A. 10 March 2014: I agree if you are single, then go for it, but... Use a condom. (I would say the same if this was a GIRL offering a BJ)
If you are in a relationship, then sorry, pal. Then you should TALK to your GF/partner and see if she'd be willing to do that ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wants me to delete pictures of my ex's on Facebook... Is she overreacting or am I being unreasonable?
Q. Hi, I'm sorry to say that this problem is due to Facebook, you probably get lots of these! My girlfriend wants me to delete photos of me and my ex-girlfriends from Facebook. She doesn't seem to like the idea of them being on my page and she say...
A. 10 March 2014: I guess YouWish and I posted at the same time :)
Good advice from YouWish!
You CAN definitely use your PRIVACY settings to avoid ALL this drama.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wants me to delete pictures of my ex's on Facebook... Is she overreacting or am I being unreasonable?
Q. Hi, I'm sorry to say that this problem is due to Facebook, you probably get lots of these! My girlfriend wants me to delete photos of me and my ex-girlfriends from Facebook. She doesn't seem to like the idea of them being on my page and she say...
A. 10 March 2014: Honestly, when it comes to Facebook, some people become raging drama-llamas. They put so much EMPHASIS on a personal page on the internet, like it has a HUGE importance in REAL life. If it does, then those people NEED to unplug and try living for ... (read in full...)
None of the guys I've dated since has been able to accept the fact that I'm friends with an old ex!
Q. Why do men find it such a big problem that im good friends with an old ex? Background- I got together with my first proper boyfriend when I was 15. We were together for 4 years and he was my first love and my first everything. We had a good young...
A. 10 March 2014: My first BF and I are friend and it's been 20 years since we broke up. I don't get to met up but we do e-mail and occasionally (not as often as you do) talk on the phone. There are no romantic feelings involved.
He is the only ex I talk to. The ... (read in full...)
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