I didn't want this breakup, how do I get over it with my dignity intact?
Q. I've been dating a man for almost a year. On numerous occasions, over the past year, he has asked for time and space bc he is dealing with something stressful with work or his family. I have respected this and have done my best to give him what he ...
A. 19 March 2014: If you are usually the one to pursue him then change your tactics and STOP.
I know it's easier said then done, but do you REALLY want to be with a guy who treats you that way?
Every time you want to reach out to him CALL someone (a frien... (read in full...)
Am I crossing the line? Why do I feel that I say inappropriate things in class?
Q. I need opinion whether I say inappropriate things all the time. I have this group of people in one of my language classes. A teacher is a woman in her late 40s, then few guys about the same age and few younger men and women but not by much. ...
A. 18 March 2014: Yea It can easily be THAT group of people if you otherwise get on well with people.
They can be judging you on the FIRST thing you said (that they didn't agree with and then EVERYTHING you say after that is painted in the same light) If you know... (read in full...)
She broke up with me and I'm scared to let her into my heart again
Q. Me and my girlfreind broke up 2 weeks ago. She ended it and it was a massive shock. She said her feelings weren't as strong and didn't love me. I loved this girl sooo much and i ask her to give us some space and see. I call her before (yes i kn...
A. 18 March 2014: I agree with CMMP
She has already told you that she doesn't LOVE you as much as YOU love her. I would without a doubt cancel the meeting and stop talking to her. Friendship is not possible for you two for now.
GIVE yourself some time and so... (read in full...)
My husband had emotional affairs and I left him! What are my rights?
Q. After years of marriage I found out that my husband had emotinal affairs in the skype,chating,calling,and meetings with his ""women friends.Maybe not only emotional only. He intoduced me a woman 2 years earlier,and she started sending me thank yo...
A. 18 March 2014: Get a lawyer ASAP.... (read in full...)
Do I have a chance to get her back?
Q. I was in a long distance relationship where we loved each other deeply. Until I had OCD. My compulsive behavior caused a scratch on us. She got depressed and I was there, but I noticed she was avoiding me. For three months she doesn't knows what she ...
A. 18 March 2014: Are you diagnosed with OCD? Or do you "think" you have OCD? Because if you are not diagnosed, then you ought to see your doctor and a therapist of the OCD pops up in your life and makes life harder for you.
But back to your question, you write:
... (read in full...)
I bought concert tickets in a price range I could afford but am feeling guilty now that my girlfriend wants to pay for an upgrade herself!
Q. I bought concert tickets for my gf's favorite band to surprise her, but since I'm a student, and work, money is tight for me. I could only afford the cheaper, non great seats. I wish I could afford the best seats, but they were well out of my price ...
A. 18 March 2014: I agree with iAmHereToHelpYou
I get that it strings a little that she doesn't JUST take the ticket as a OH WOW and enjoy it, but since it IS her favorite band I kind of get why she want to upgrade and get as close as possible.
For me though... (read in full...)
My friend is living a double life and I'm uncomfortable covering for her
Q. Hello. This is a situation where I could really cause some pain and heartache with a good friend of mine but at the same time, I want to respect my elders and follow their rules. Trinity and I have been friends since grade school and we both ...
A. 18 March 2014:
Being there for your friend is a GOOD thing. Having to LIE and COVER is not. I understand the "buddy system" it can be a REALLY good tool, specially for girls who are away from home for the first time. But it only works if you two can respect each... (read in full...)
Am I crossing the line? Why do I feel that I say inappropriate things in class?
Q. I need opinion whether I say inappropriate things all the time. I have this group of people in one of my language classes. A teacher is a woman in her late 40s, then few guys about the same age and few younger men and women but not by much. ...
A. 18 March 2014: Well, I think in the sense that you made your "jokes" based on experiences of your friends that maybe that is why they took it as inappropriate or offensive. Or just a little as a foot in mouth.
Your friend might make self deprecating jokes ab... (read in full...)
Am I really that bad a boss?
Q. Dear aunts and uncles. This is a work related problem and I could really do with some advice. I work in lovely public relations company and head up the consumer team of about 4. Since summer it has just been me and one other up until month ...
A. 18 March 2014: When you hire new staff do you give them a trial period? Are you allowed to hire/fire as YOU see fit (for the team)? Do the team help in the process? (as in do they meet the candidates at some point in the process? Because in my old job the team got ... (read in full...)
I didn't want this breakup, how do I get over it with my dignity intact?
Q. I've been dating a man for almost a year. On numerous occasions, over the past year, he has asked for time and space bc he is dealing with something stressful with work or his family. I have respected this and have done my best to give him what he ...
A. 17 March 2014: This man is constantly looking of an out. But once he has had his "space" he kind of misses the GF-experience (NOT HAVING a GF) but someone who cares about you, take care OF you, gives you affection and sex, and boost your ego.
How do you end it w... (read in full...)
My first reaction was to lie, and it's causing problems now
Q. I’m 32 and my boyfriend is 37. We’ve been together for 8 months, and he moved in with me about 2 months ago. I know it sounds like it happened fast, but it feels right and we’re definitely in love. Here’s the problem: sometimes he goes through my ...
A. 17 March 2014: I agree with Xearo
There is something iffy about this relationship. I think YOU are letting him "play" victim and taking the whole blame here.
When 1. HE goes through your phone like it is his RIGHT.
2. YOU feel a need to lie.
3. Then... (read in full...)
He acts like he doesn't know the first thing about me! Should I give up for good?
Q. Some of you may know some of my relationship history with my past questions. I am still back together with my children's father. But still having issues. Nothing has helped and now the little things are starting to get on my nerves. Is it normal to ...
A. 17 March 2014: My husband sometimes forget that I dislike certain things, BUT something like peanut allergy? That is a pretty hard one to forget.
It's not about YOU failing, it's about him not giving two fly farts put together. And if you get the sense that he ... (read in full...)
I'm good friends with both of them... do I tell her he cheated?
Q. Hi, my name is Danny and I have this best friend called Charlie (girl). Me and Charlie have been friends for-EVER! She is the closest thing I have to a sister, as i'm an only child. I have this band and i'm the lead, so I write songs and m...
A. 17 March 2014: I think you are a little delusional with your feelings towards Charlie, a BROTHER doesn't write love songs about his "sister". That would be... eww..
And you will NOT be the Knight in Shining Armor by telling her, you will be the turd in tinfoil.... (read in full...)
Whenever things go wrong, my girlfriend always blames me and its my fault!
Q. Dear Agony Aunts, I have a problem here, the one I am not capable of resolving on my own. Me and my gf, we've been together for 3 years, living together for 7 months. Most of the time our relationship seems to work well, yet there are critica...
A. 17 March 2014: I have to say instead of slinking off with a lie about not feeling good, I would have STATED clearly to her that you don't feel welcome when she is in THAT mood and you will be taking you leave of her EVERY time she act like that.
Perso... (read in full...)
Is he asking because he wants to scrounge or because he really wants to live with me?
Q. Why is my boyfriend pressuring me to live with him?. My boyfriend is going to be evicted from his house in a couple of months, if he hasn't found another place by then. he said either he will go and live with one of his friends, before the eviction ...
A. 17 March 2014: I will pretty much echo what Auntie BimBim said.
He is looking to sponge of you.
He is TRYING to force the decisions, he think you are MORE scared of being alone then having him sponge of you.
He is using BLACKMAIL tactics to get you to sa... (read in full...)
Is there anything I can do? Boyfriend seems to have no boundaries and it makes me insecure!
Q. Thank you to everyone taking the time to read this and help. I'm in desperate need of advice about my insecurity issues. I'm having these issues with my boyfriend of one year. These are some examples of what has been making me feel this way. H...
A. 17 March 2014: When you first met him and fell for him was part of the charm his flirty personality? I bet it was. I also bet he talked to his exes before dating you. It's not like he has added them AFTER dating you.
But now that you see THIS is who he i with M... (read in full...)
Seventeen and never been kissed -- what am I doing wrong?
Q. Im 17 and ive never had a boyfriend. What am I doing wrong? I like guys but they never seem to like me back I've been friendzoned about 9 times this year. Im not very pretty, and Im a little overweight, but I think im nice. I cant understand why Im ...
A. 17 March 2014: Maybe you need to relax and back off the guy, let HIM do some work now.
I do think you are being a little impatient, but it's understandable. However, what's the hurry?
TAKE your time finding someone YOU want as much as they want you, don't ... (read in full...)
We have a child together but he doesn't make much effort with her
Q. I have a daughter with my boyfriend (he is the only boyfriend I've ever had), and he goes 3 weeks to month with out seeing us sometimes. We see him the most once a week if that and he lives 15 minutes from us, but he says he doesn't like to drive. ...
A. 17 March 2014: I don't think he will grow up any time soon and be the dad you want him to be.
Does he help you financially? Or do you take care of that yourself?
If he doesn't I would tell him that you need him to help out or simply file for child support.
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend stalks his male friends!
Q. What does it mean my boyfriend is obessed with his guy friends. He even stalks them guy friends and paces when they go somewhere without him. It is creepy is he gay? Does he not like me? he need to be cool. Wth is wrong with him. He does think ofof ...
A. 17 March 2014: Is he your age group?
If so, is he a creepy gay for stalking his friends? Not necessarily, but creepy yes. There is a GOOD reason they go out without him, they aren't his "friends" as he might think. Friends would not exclude a person over and... (read in full...)
Would a blood test tell if she were still pregnant?
Q. this is a kind of medical question so i only really want to know if its possible. so basically in early January my sister told me she had just miscarried at 3 and half months. however since then she has yet to get her period. she also has gained ...
A. 17 March 2014: So she guess that she miscarried basically?
A blood test for iron deficiency doesn't show anything about pregnancy hormones. The doctor would LOOK specifically for the HCG in the blood.
And you (she) can not assume that having/not havin... (read in full...)
Worried I somehow messed up our second date!
Q. Hey! first time poster, I was wondering if someone might be able to shed some light on my situation... well honestly its not a big situation and the answer is probably really obvious! i guess that i am just a really worrier. I recently went on a sec...
A. 16 March 2014: I agree you are over-analyzing it. If she didn't have a GREAT second date I seriously doubt she would have texted you.
Could be other matter that made her a little distant - sick family member, a sick friend or the family parakeet.
... (read in full...)
Is it better to date a person you really like, or a person who really likes you?
Q. Hello My question is more about experiences readers had about " dating a girl you like or date a girl who likes you" What's better/more fruitful? Details : You either persue a person if you have crush on them or you are perused by ...
A. 16 March 2014: I think it would be POINTLESS to date either of your examples.
IF YOU like the girl but she only "tolerate" you - it's not love.
If a girl REALLY like you and YOU "tolerate" her or basically SETTLE for her - it's not love.
I think it's BE... (read in full...)
Would a blood test tell if she were still pregnant?
Q. this is a kind of medical question so i only really want to know if its possible. so basically in early January my sister told me she had just miscarried at 3 and half months. however since then she has yet to get her period. she also has gained ...
A. 16 March 2014: Has she been to see her doctor in JANUARY? When she thought she miscarried? Because I had what I "thought" were my periods throughout my 2rd and 3rd pregnancy. Only reason I knew I was pregnant with #2 was because she started to kick and I had ... (read in full...)
My Bf is depressed about his parent's recent divorce. His behaviour towards me has changed. What should I do?
Q. My boyfriend are the same age and have been together for one year. We really do love each other a lot. However, his parents recently got divorced, and he is very depressed about it. Lately it seems that all I can do is upset him. If he says/does...
A. 16 March 2014: I think that 1. you need to stop trying to get him to talk about, maybe he just isn't ready to share how he feels,or he doesn't want to seem weak in front of you. IF HE brings it up. just listen to him.
Secondly, Tell him how you feel about th... (read in full...)
It could be crazy coincidence, but then .........
Q. This has happened twice and now I'm curious if it's just coincidence or something more? I met two girls on two separate occasions through two separate mutual friends at group get-togethers. (I have different sets of friends, like old school frien...
A. 16 March 2014: I do think it's coincidence too. However, someone who is in a happy relationship (or happy with themselves) can be a really positive influence on others.
If you girls go out, you are NON threat for any guys who might approach you all. Since yo... (read in full...)
Old me vs new me. He loves how I used to look. Should I stay with him, now that he's so critical?
Q. I have had a boyfriend since highschool six almost seven years. We have a daughter together, and in the first 5 years of our relationship I was in shape and fit and he was chunky. Now the tables have turned and he is the one in shape and im the ...
A. 16 March 2014: I think it's the typical guy approach. He still loves you but he was MORE attracted to you when you were fitter.
I would say it's up to you to decide if you agree or not. You say you are OK with how you look now, yet you let it interfere with you... (read in full...)
Should I cut my losses now? My new Bf can't stop oggling women and commenting on them.
Q. I am 38 years old and look after myself and have good self esteem. I have been dating a man the same age for a month. I am finding that whenever we are out he quickly notices an attractive woman and either turns his head when we walk past or ...
A. 16 March 2014: I agree with Chigirl, this isn't about being visual. EVERYONE notices a good looking person, but there is NOTICING (3 second glace) and then there is OGLING (staring). Being with someone doesn't mean going blind to attractive people, BUT it does ... (read in full...)
I am not allowed in his best friend's house and have to sit in the car!
Q. Hello everyone I need some advice. I have been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year. And we live together. But living together isn’t the problem. The problem is his mom and his best friend don’t like me at all. I’ve met the only once and ...
A. 15 March 2014: I agree with C. GRant
WHY are you allowing this, and thinking MARRIAGE with this guy, seriously?
There is NO good excuse for him to not stand up for you. If he wants to see a friend who won't let you come over then he should see SAID friend ... (read in full...)
He uses his past as an excuse for all the drama
Q. Hi, I'm 27 years old and been dating a 37 years man, He's physically been there for my daughter and I and very kind and sweet to us but he has an mental issue where he always use his past for excuse for, I loved him, but I think it's time to move ...
A. 15 March 2014: I don't know if it is his past or "just" a habit for him to act a certain way and then blame it on his past. (as I don't know WHAT in his past makes him think his behavior is OK).
The thing is YOU already know what to do and what you want.
... (read in full...)
Have any women on here gone to a bar alone?
Q. I have been on my own for a long time now. It has been bothering me for a while but it has only become a problem recently. I don't have particularly great coping skills and feelings of loneliness have become overwhelming. I really need to make some ...
A. 15 March 2014: I worked as a bartender in a nightclub for years and I did go out to bars alone (never drank though) but I would always bump into someone I knew. Going to a bar to met new people, is not really a bright idea. I have seen guys trying to drug lonely ... (read in full...)
My ex has some of things and owes me money, do I wait or just get it over with?
Q. My ex has some of my things and owes me some money but I really miss her and I'm not ready to meet up yet. Can I wait a month or so before seeing her or should I just get it over with now so that she no longer has to think about the things she has ...
A. 15 March 2014: I would send her a letter with a list of what stuff you have at her house, ask her to box it up and find a day to come pick it up. You can always call or text 5 mins before arriving so she can put it outside OR ask a friend to pick it up. If you ... (read in full...)
Should my friend's fiance pay rent or not?
Q. Ok so my friend and i are thinking of moving in together. Her fiance stays over 5-6 dys a week. I think its fair that he contrubutes to sum of the bills but she says no. She says firstly there is no way in hell he will pay as he dont earn that much ...
A. 14 March 2014: Yep, let HER and HER bf get a place for themselves and find someone else to room with.
She is leaving because the people she SHARES with right now don't agree with her either, so she was hoping that a friend would let her do whatever she wants an... (read in full...)
I don't feel I'm her friend! Do friends share things with certain friends things they don't with other friends?
Q. So I've been partly hurt and partly withdrawn from a female friend of mine. I'm female too. I previously thought her and I were close and there were no barriers. I felt like we were two sisters. She has told me to do things for her like wash her ...
A. 14 March 2014: You don't get exclusivity on, or the "rights" to her life by being her friend.
I have several female (and male) friends and there are SOME I am closer to them others. Some I shared certain details, others I didn't. It had nothing to do with who... (read in full...)
My husband throws temper tantrums every day!
Q. The problem I have is that my husband regularly has pointless, angry outbursts and I'm the only one around to hear them. In front of other people he's as quiet as a lamb. We love each other. He tells me I'm beautiful and that he loves me e...
A. 14 March 2014: I don't think you can do much to make him see, you tried and he ignored it. HOWEVER he does know how to behave in front of others, so he ACTUALLY chooses to do it in front of you.
It could be a way of controlling you. Keeping you a little bit on e... (read in full...)
All of a sudden he's become secretive?
Q. I think I know the answer to this but just want some opinions and how to handle it please My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. In the first year he was meeting up with a girl behind my back but they both swore it was just as friends....
A. 14 March 2014: The Facebook part I SORT of agree with - specially if you two have had spats over something FB related. If not, I think it's a red flag. (unless you hacked his FB)
As for the Whatsapp - that is a chat thing right? I can't see why he would block yo... (read in full...)
I feel slightly embarrassed that he's sexually experienced and I'm not
Q. Hello there! I've been with my lovely boyfriend for about 8 months now, and we've been friends for years. Recently we'd spoken about having sex... However I'm a virgin, whilst he isn't. We've been doing a lot of oral sex for a while now, so I'...
A. 14 March 2014: Don't be, we have ALL been there. That is the nature of the beast.
You got to start somewhere, yea? Just don't be afraid to let him know if something feels good or not so good. If he needs to slow down.
Most of all (and this is the hardest) TRY... (read in full...)
Has he been leading me on, and if so, what should I do now?
Q. I have been talking to a guy I really like for about 2 months now. He always texts me first every single day and calls me a lot, and we talk for hours. He has taken me on a couple dates and he says he really likes me, and he compliments me a lot. I ...
A. 14 March 2014: LOL @ Cerberus
I love it when you get all jaded! But I actually agree with Cerberus too. I think there is an ex he is pining after who has moved on already. And yea, he wants to sound all deep and dark.. *eye roll*
Yet another Facebook situati... (read in full...)
His new job isn't leaving much time for me...
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together 3 1/2 years. We don't live together as of yet. He's started working a new plumbing job and it's getting me down. There's only 4 guys working therefore my bf is on call 24/7. Prior to this job my bf was ...
A. 13 March 2014: So now you know, for now you can not text/call him while he is at work.
Honey, HE IS AT WORK. He is supposed to WORK, not text and chat with you.
I am older then you, from the "age" where you DIDN'T call and text constantly with a BF/partne... (read in full...)
I see his actions as being disrespectful of our time spent together. He sees my reaction as emotionally unstable.
Q. Guy I've been seeing for over a month won't stop texting when I'm around him! Was I out of line by the way I handled this? Is there a better way I should have handled it? I was over at his house. Literally from the time I got there until righ...
A. 13 March 2014: I agree with All the other Aunties and Uncles here.
CUT yourself some slack. Most people PU their VERY best foot forward when they date, and my guess is that when you go online (like dating sties) people "spruce" up their profile just a little -... (read in full...)
I see his actions as being disrespectful of our time spent together. He sees my reaction as emotionally unstable.
Q. Guy I've been seeing for over a month won't stop texting when I'm around him! Was I out of line by the way I handled this? Is there a better way I should have handled it? I was over at his house. Literally from the time I got there until righ...
A. 13 March 2014: So little bit of the truth comes out over time. Want to bet there are still more "skeletons" in his closet? Or baggage he hasn't mentioned?
Unless you want DRAMA to be the topic of your relationship, I'd say walk away now, no.. actually... (read in full...)
I'm struggling with what he calls his dry sense of humour
Q. I love my boyfriend who is 40 of 7 months but don't like aspects of his personality. He can be very sarcastic and make derogatory comments about my weight. I'm a size 12 Uk and run and ramble, bike on the Downs etc. He makes comments about women ...
A. 13 March 2014: Gah... Sorry for the typos!
It should have read "it shows a lot more then they THINK."... (read in full...)
His new job isn't leaving much time for me...
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together 3 1/2 years. We don't live together as of yet. He's started working a new plumbing job and it's getting me down. There's only 4 guys working therefore my bf is on call 24/7. Prior to this job my bf was ...
A. 13 March 2014: I would give it a little time for you BOTH to adjust to this new job and situation.
It's a GOOD thing that he FINALLY got a good job and can PAY his bills and take care of that side of life. It HAS to be a priority for someone in their 30's to ... (read in full...)
I'm struggling with what he calls his dry sense of humour
Q. I love my boyfriend who is 40 of 7 months but don't like aspects of his personality. He can be very sarcastic and make derogatory comments about my weight. I'm a size 12 Uk and run and ramble, bike on the Downs etc. He makes comments about women ...
A. 13 March 2014: I agree with Auntie Em.
It's like when people use the word "retard" for dumb things or "gay" for things they don't agree with, "dyke" for a woman who either turn then down or doesn't conform to their idea of how a woman should behave. It's a n... (read in full...)
Should my friend's fiance pay rent or not?
Q. Ok so my friend and i are thinking of moving in together. Her fiance stays over 5-6 dys a week. I think its fair that he contrubutes to sum of the bills but she says no. She says firstly there is no way in hell he will pay as he dont earn that much ...
A. 12 March 2014: I can see him paying towards the food (also water/electric) but if YOU and HER are the people on the lease YOU and HER share the rent.
I would however not move in with her, because she doesn't think he needs to contribute AT ALL. Which mean you... (read in full...)
I see his actions as being disrespectful of our time spent together. He sees my reaction as emotionally unstable.
Q. Guy I've been seeing for over a month won't stop texting when I'm around him! Was I out of line by the way I handled this? Is there a better way I should have handled it? I was over at his house. Literally from the time I got there until righ...
A. 7 March 2014: Good thinking to talk to your mom.
And GOOD for you in finding some empowerment in KNOWING you weren't WRONG in how you felt. TRUST in yourself. TRUST your gut.
I agree with your mom up to a point. A guy HIS age SHOULD know that you do not ... (read in full...)
I see his actions as being disrespectful of our time spent together. He sees my reaction as emotionally unstable.
Q. Guy I've been seeing for over a month won't stop texting when I'm around him! Was I out of line by the way I handled this? Is there a better way I should have handled it? I was over at his house. Literally from the time I got there until righ...
A. 6 March 2014: I agree with YouWish as well. What a douche-canoe.
Texting non-stop while you are there IS disrespectful. If he was SO desperate for a ride in the morning all he had to do was call the guy, no need to chat with him, just call and arrange a ride. ... (read in full...)
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