Is there potential with this girl (24/F) or should it be obvious by now?
Q. Hello everyone. I don't really believe in asking these types of questions online but I don't have anyone I know that I could ask this about. I also don't think I could really get an "answer" as such but I'd like to hear people's thoughts. I've...
A. 21 June 2021: Glad you found someone that gave you useful advice, OP
But to clarify... the toilet/pot analogy wasn't about her. It was about YOU making a choice - EVENTUALLY. At some point, you will HAVE to. Unless you think it's OK to string another pers... (read in full...)
He seemed like a nice guy we met and he's acting strangely and I'm scared
Q. I met a guy online and we communicated for 6 months. I just got out of a relationship and the guy seemed perfect for me. We had all the same hobbies and interests and we started to really like each other. He's 29 and I'm 33. He was so kind and nice ...
A. 11 June 2021: OP, are you safe?
... (read in full...)
What to do about clueless husband and my toxic father
Q. My life is a Mess. It started when I lived with my in laws. We had an unplanned pregnancy and my daughter is now 7. I didn’t know how controlling my in laws were going to get. My husband and I lived with them. They got controlling. My sister in law ...
A. 11 June 2021: Get yourselves sorted. The sooner the better. That means GET jobs - find a place to live THEN contact a lawyer and go from there.
They can be crappy people but they have the law on their side right now. And neither of you have a job or a place to... (read in full...)
Am I just too slow to move on?
Q. Hi, just looking for some advice. So about 2 years ago, I met someone and we worked well together, so eventually we began a relationship. She was my first and only girlfriend so far, and it lasted for only a few months before she left me for anot...
A. 10 June 2021: You don't HAVE to serial date because OTHERS do so.
Ask yourself would YOU date you? If the answer is no, then what would you change? (things that you actually CAN change) like, take better care of yourself, hygiene, new haircut, upgrade glasses,... (read in full...)
Is more desire & creativity a realistic expectation?
Q. I've been married for 6 years and together for 7. We have four kids youngest is almost 2. I work full time and my wife has chosen to stay home with our kids till our youngest gets in school. I say all this just to say I know we are busy between work ...
A. 10 June 2021: 4 kids?
Your wife is exhausted at the end of the day. I have 3 (all older now, youngest is 17) But kids are hard work. You might help out and that is lovely, though these are YOUR kids too, so it's not like it's something amazing. You should W... (read in full...)
What to do about clueless husband and my toxic father
Q. My life is a Mess. It started when I lived with my in laws. We had an unplanned pregnancy and my daughter is now 7. I didn’t know how controlling my in laws were going to get. My husband and I lived with them. They got controlling. My sister in law ...
A. 7 June 2021: As for your father- well know you know you can not rely on him, so stop believing anything he promises you.
You are in your 30's - you are DEFINITELY old enough to take care of yourselves.... (read in full...)
What to do about clueless husband and my toxic father
Q. My life is a Mess. It started when I lived with my in laws. We had an unplanned pregnancy and my daughter is now 7. I didn’t know how controlling my in laws were going to get. My husband and I lived with them. They got controlling. My sister in law ...
A. 7 June 2021: Did your in-laws get custody because you and your husband can't take care of yourselves and a kid (financially)?
If so, you know what you need to do. YOU both need to find work and PROVE to the courts that you CAN take care of your child, financia... (read in full...)
He seemed like a nice guy we met and he's acting strangely and I'm scared
Q. I met a guy online and we communicated for 6 months. I just got out of a relationship and the guy seemed perfect for me. We had all the same hobbies and interests and we started to really like each other. He's 29 and I'm 33. He was so kind and nice ...
A. 7 June 2021: Get out of there NOW. Not tomorrow, NOW.
Find a hotel, pack your shit, call a cab and GO. Fly home when you can.
Then you BLOCK him and stop all contact.
And next time, use a little more common sense! ANYONE can seem like a nice guy, th... (read in full...)
I need to understand why I cheated on my boyfriend when I'm so against cheating
Q. 2 days ago I cheated on my boyfriend with his best friend. I know relationships are never perfect, and ours isn’t either, we’ve had so many ups and downs, but we always work through them. we never give up on each other. he’s fucked up and he ...
A. 7 June 2021: I know why you did it.
Because you wanted to, and at the moment all those grandiose feelings you profess for your BF meant nothing.
I don't say this to bash you but you are OLD enough to know that actions have consequences and you making bad c... (read in full...)
A girl phone number was saved in my husband's contacts under "Microsoft" and I am livid!!!
Q. I was looking up a number in my husband's contacts on his phone. As I did this, I noticed a contact saved under Microsoft. I did not see this contact before on his phone, and I thought he had added it recently. I opened it to see the contact info. ...
A. 7 June 2021: Can you get a statement from the phone company? An itemized one? So you can see if he has called this number before, recently, or at all?
I had an odd number in my contact and I think it was someone calling with a "wrong number" and somehow ... (read in full...)
What did she mean in her statement?
Q. hello i,ve been messaging a woman on a dating site , for about a week . now she wants to meet for a coffee ,to see if there is a spark . So She has said in her message . ( I,ve always been too self -critical . I,m not so with others Except ...
A. 7 June 2021: What did she mean?
She probably meant that she is hoping you aren't talking to other women besides her?
Ask her when you meet for coffee!
I'd meet up sooner rather than later.... (read in full...)
Does anyone know what the cost of living is in Nigeria.
Q. Hi I would love it if someone knew the costs or had a good idea of what the cost of living is in Nigeria. I have been conversing with someone in Nigeria he claims it costs about 1000.00 usd to live there per month. That sounds completely ridic...
A. 7 June 2021: Oh, he is setting you up. Buttering you up.
$1,000 is kind of cheap. But depending on where in Nigeria he lives it might be less, it might be more.
If you think he is a romantic option for you, I think you are .... looking in the wrong place ... (read in full...)
My Narcissistic Mother Just Told Me To Stab Myself. How Do I Deal With Her Nasty Comments?
Q. She recently sprained her ankle and can't walk or do much herself. I live nearby temporarily, so went round to hers and we were cooking together in the kitchen. I asked her jokingly if she wanted me to show her how to chop the garlic. She replied ...
A. 7 June 2021: Why can you make a joke about her showing YOU how to chop the garlic but she can't joke back "stab yourself"?
I mean neither are good jokes, granted but... if she meant it as a clap back to your "joke", I don't see the issue.
I would stop givin... (read in full...)
Giving large gifts to grandchildren
Q. I don’t have kids (and I’m unlikely to) but my sister is pregnant and my parents have bought the baby an expensive pram and plan to give the baby a sum of money as a gift to put into a savings account for when it’s 18. I’m curious whether others ...
A. 7 June 2021: Yes, it's fair.
You know what? IT IS THEIR MONEY! they can do whatever they want with that money.
If that means spoiling or helping the grandkids, that is their choice and I bet you it will be appreciated.
Are you strapped for cash? Or do... (read in full...)
Why am I not enough for my boyfriend?
Q. Less than a year ago my BF and me both sold our properties set up home in our new home.Im 27 and he is 38. He has his own sales business and travels quite a bit. He has his own office downstairs and clients come and go on a regular basis. But I ...
A. 7 June 2021: Well, you made a big mistake in buying a house with a guy you are not legally married to, I hope there is PROOF of what you both put in (financially and otherwise) to the house so you will get YOUR share back.
You, however, DIDN'T make the mist... (read in full...)
Do I have symptoms of herpes?
Q. I went to the ER twice because i was having a burning sensation around what felt like my clitoris area. It was worse when i urinated,i had a frequent urge to urinate even when i didn't have to. I even didnt make it to the toilet once. Now im ...
A. 7 June 2021: Go see your family doctor, the ER is NOT for things like STDs. A sexually transmitted disease is NOT - I will repeat NOT an emergency! Stop wasting their time.
If you can not afford a family doctor visit or don't HAVE a family doctor find the near... (read in full...)
Whats in a name? a title?
Q. My husband has a younger brother, Justin, that is an amazing uncle with his nieces and nephew. The problem is my brother, Phil and his wife have a son and Justin doesn't want my nephew (Phil's son) to call him "Uncle Justin". Justin has state...
A. 6 June 2021: I think if Justin doesn't want to be called Uncle by kids that he isn't related to by blood that IS his choice, even if it is a SHITTY ASS choice.
But for kids to call him Mr. Justin? Yeah nah that is bullshit. Justin would suffice.
Uncle i... (read in full...)
Why do some men feel the need to triangulate in their new relationship?
Q. I have always heard triangulation is a very common trait of a toxic relationship but my question is what is behind doing triangulation to a new girlfriend with an ex fling? Can this be to make her feel less of, make the boyfriend feel powerful ...
A. 6 June 2021: I'd suggest you don't go pick it up. If your grandpa wants and can do it, I'd ask him but.. again, I'd suggest he doesn't go alone.
Not that I think your ex will hurt your grandpa but he might want to "pick his brain" and get info about you that... (read in full...)
Why do some men feel the need to triangulate in their new relationship?
Q. I have always heard triangulation is a very common trait of a toxic relationship but my question is what is behind doing triangulation to a new girlfriend with an ex fling? Can this be to make her feel less of, make the boyfriend feel powerful ...
A. 6 June 2021: Well, good for you!
I would make a reply to him (over text, not call), saying:" it's nice of you to offer to let me use the car but I will decline and as we are OVER there needs to be no further contact between us. I will delete YOUR contact ... (read in full...)
Did I miss my chance with him because I didn't speak up?
Q. I am so confused and hurt right now. I was texting and chatting with a guy I have known for a long time during lockdown . Wee started flirted and phoned each other he called me his, "wifey" was very forward when he was drinking mostly over text wit...
A. 4 June 2021: Eh, why waste any more of your time on this one? He was stringing you on from the get-go.
You were the ego stroke he didn't HAVE to invest too much into - going for a drink is about the lowest amount of "investment" you can go... He called y... (read in full...)
Was he role playing or is he really bothered by this new guy at work?
Q. I’ve been having sex with this guy I work with. We’ve slept together on and off for a few years but the last time before now was 2 years ago and we started working at the same place 7 months ago. When I first started working there, we weren’t ...
A. 4 June 2021: Is "your guy" also married?
I am guessing he is due to having to get a hotel room to have sex in...
If so, what are you doing?
And yes, banter can seem like flirting if you are just looking at it from the outside.
You are SINGLE, so you ... (read in full...)
Why do some men feel the need to triangulate in their new relationship?
Q. I have always heard triangulation is a very common trait of a toxic relationship but my question is what is behind doing triangulation to a new girlfriend with an ex fling? Can this be to make her feel less of, make the boyfriend feel powerful ...
A. 3 June 2021: Oh, he knows what he is doing.
He is hoping you will feel less (pretty or whatnot) the thing is it's UP TO YOU to decide how you feel. And secondly, does it matter to you how another woman looks? There will always be someone prettier out there, s... (read in full...)
Guy I Used To Date Stalked Me Online. What Should I Do?
Q. A guy I used to date has been stalking me! I got a HUGE scare over the weekend. I created a LinkedIn a year ago with some basic details about myself (university, school etc) but it was linked to an old email account, and for some reason I could NOT ...
A. 2 June 2021: You deleted it so at least he can't use THAT account to stalk you further.
A LOT of people like to "check up on" or "cyber stalk" exes. A LOT of people. Mostly out of curiosity. So while he wasn't/isisn't a great guy, there might not be more to ... (read in full...)
how to deal with an argumentative partner?
Q. Hello I'm wondering how to deal with an argumentative partner? I have tried to quit talking and walk away, I have tried to sit and listen, I have tried to give my feedback, I do ask what's wrong? I have I tried giving space for a day or two but...
A. 2 June 2021: You have tried various ways to make communication with your partner work, HE is making no effort to reciprocate?
Seems like it's an "MY way or the highway" kind of attitude. And I don't see how you can make much headway with that. YOU can not chan... (read in full...)
Why do some men feel the need to triangulate in their new relationship?
Q. I have always heard triangulation is a very common trait of a toxic relationship but my question is what is behind doing triangulation to a new girlfriend with an ex fling? Can this be to make her feel less of, make the boyfriend feel powerful ...
A. 2 June 2021: To add on (with your answer)
Not giving compliments is another level of control, OR he simply doesn't think you NEED to be told you are pretty all the time because you KNOW you are pretty.
Maybe because I'm average, I don't really care for ... (read in full...)
Is there potential with this girl (24/F) or should it be obvious by now?
Q. Hello everyone. I don't really believe in asking these types of questions online but I don't have anyone I know that I could ask this about. I also don't think I could really get an "answer" as such but I'd like to hear people's thoughts. I've...
A. 1 June 2021: It's hard to really give you advice here. Because I can see it working out and not.
1. Firstly, accept that SHE isn't you. She isn't going to be a female clone of you. She is not going to be just like you. Nor is any other woman.
2. Secondly, ... (read in full...)
How can I get over my toxic family and their betrayal?
Q. For the last five years I have been a caretaker for one of my family members. My family member had a terminal illness and I have been working 3 jobs to cover the bills and medical treatment which saved his life. Although the treatment is over I had ...
A. 1 June 2021: What do you do?
You accept reality. I can imagine it's disappointing to find that your family is not very caring or tolerant. They DID carry YOU (with letting you live there) while you took care of someone else.
You are close to relocating - ... (read in full...)
How men and women relate to sex? And Gay male sex dynamics...
Q. As a gay man, I'm struggling with gay male dynamics. What I mean by that is how gay men interact with each other sexually. I often feel surprised and hurt when I have great sex with someone and I feel discarded by them. By the same token, I feel ...
A. 1 June 2021: We all have different values and morals.
Some women (and men) are totally fine with getting on a hook-up app, meeting a total stranger, and have sex straight off the bat.
Others are not.
I have never had casual sex. Because to me, sex means... (read in full...)
How can I help my niece?
Q. My question is a sad one and I find there are many people here from all walks of life who have good insight. My problem concerns both my niece who is 32 and also her parents. Her dad is my brother. He is no longer with my nieces mother and has r...
A. 1 June 2021: Addiction is heartbreaking. More so for the family and loved ones who have to watch without really being able to FIX the issue.
No amount of rehab will fix this UNTIL she wants to be clean and live her best life.
The fact that she is also dati... (read in full...)
My boyfriend hurts me unintentionally during sex
Q. I have known this guy for a while, and I am happy. We have what i think is a normal sex life, but He sometimes hurts me unintentually when we make love. I know that he likes us to make love alot and I like it too but sometimes I have to ask him to ...
A. 31 May 2021: Take pics of the bruises and SHOW your BF, tell him he NEEDS to be more gentle with you.
You shouldn't have bruises after sex.... unless it's somewhat done on purpose.
Don't suck it up or it will become the "norm" and he won't understand. He... (read in full...)
Why do some men feel the need to triangulate in their new relationship?
Q. I have always heard triangulation is a very common trait of a toxic relationship but my question is what is behind doing triangulation to a new girlfriend with an ex fling? Can this be to make her feel less of, make the boyfriend feel powerful ...
A. 31 May 2021: According to some, it's mainly narcissistic men (and women) who do this. To keep the power balance leaning in their favor.
Narcissists love to keep admirers close.
And the BEST way to keep in control is to NOT let a new partner feel TOO comfort... (read in full...)
We broke up but are back in touch but now I feel there is distance
Q. I broke up with my gf of 5 years over argument. Since that we both realised we are still in love. However we have both been busy in our routines. We still text daily with morning and good night however I feel like there’s now distance between us. ...
A. 30 May 2021: Being back in touch doesn't mean you are dating again, I think you hope that it will lead back that way, but it seems like she isn't.
I think the two of you NEED to have a chat.
Whatever ISSUE that broke you two up needs to be resolved BEFORE ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is 30 years old and his parents are too controlling
Q. So my boyfriend and I were going to use his family’s motor home for the weekend. His mom learned I was not getting the covid vaccine and told my boyfriends dad his dad then stated I couldn’t be in his motor home his house or his cabin. I was upset ...
A. 29 May 2021: I think it was probably for the best to break up with him.
He lives with his parents because his mom provides daycare for his child. And because it's probably cheaper than living on his own. (or even with a partner)
His ex (who has custody) CAN... (read in full...)
I am very angry at my boyfriend for staring at some random woman's ass!! I am having a hard time getting over this
Q. I am so ANGRY right now! My boyfriend and I have issues with trust. We went for our first couple's counselling appointment today. While in the waiting room, this blonde woman came out to get a drink of water at the cooler. I think she was one of the ...
A. 29 May 2021: I have to say this is definitely more about YOUR insecurities than anything else.
If he cheated in his previous relationship and you are "against" cheating, then why date him? Did he cheat WITH you perhaps?
You are holding his past actions (th... (read in full...)
She says she likes me and we have so much in common but it's the age gap
Q. I had one of the best nights of my life with a beautiful woman last week and I’d really love to take things further with her and start a relationship but whilst she said she really likes me the age gap between us seems to bother her a lot. The thing ...
A. 29 May 2021: Accept that she isn't looking for anything serious.
That would be my advice. YOU might want to make it a long-term and serious relationship but (at least for now) SHE doesn't. So DIAL it back, OP
If YOU are looking for something seriou... (read in full...)
My sister broke up with her boyfriend for a new guy and now I don't want to talk to her
Q. My sister 33 left her bf of 6 years in December. She didn't tell me they were having problems until after the breakup. Then she suddenly met someone else and was saying how happy she is. Her ex did so much for her so I stopped talking to her after ...
A. 28 May 2021: I'm not sure how it's up to you who your sister can or can not date. You thought her ex "seemed" like a nice guy... maybe he was, maybe he was a total dickwad behind closed doors. Or he cheated, did drugs, was super boring or not wanting kids, or to ... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend is addicted to sex
Q. So thanks so much for all the help with this problem in advance. I have been in a long term relationship of 8 years , like every couple we have our quarrels but we see them through and remain committed to our relationship. However I am starting...
A. 27 May 2021: Seems like the two of you are not compatible sexually.
Though sex isn't the MOST important thing in a relationship, it's a good area to be compatible in. Which can be hard the longer you are together as we all go through an ebb and flow in our l... (read in full...)
Are my parents right to take such drastic action to stop me drinking underage ?
Q. are my parents right to take such drastic action to stop me drinking alcohol underage ? in the past couple of weeks i have been coming home drunk ( NOT ON SCHOOL NIGHTS )my parents said they are worried and unless i stop drinking they will have to ...
A. 26 May 2021: EDIT:
You knew that you should get drunk to a point where...
Should have been:
You knew that you shouldn't get drunk to a point where..
Of course.... (read in full...)
Are my parents right to take such drastic action to stop me drinking underage ?
Q. are my parents right to take such drastic action to stop me drinking alcohol underage ? in the past couple of weeks i have been coming home drunk ( NOT ON SCHOOL NIGHTS )my parents said they are worried and unless i stop drinking they will have to ...
A. 26 May 2021: You think that you should be able to do as you please because you are 16. Even when you turn 18 doesn't automatically mean you can do as you please. If you live at home you have to follow your parents' rules AND the law.
It sucks that you can't go... (read in full...)
Blow jobs and the bad taste of urine.
Q. My husband and I have always been sexually active, up until he became incontinent. I never had any inhibitions when it came to blow jobs until I tasted urine. Now I am put off by the taste and smell and can not bring myself to do it. He is quite ...
A. 26 May 2021:
Sandwich bags? Yikes!
Use a condom? Flavored perhaps?... (read in full...)
Let him be a real Dad to our daughter
Q. Hi all, I have a daughter with an ex boyfriend, our daughter was fostered by my cousin. Our daughter is eleven this month, she is fully aware of who her real parents are and speaks to us regularly. Since about six months old her foster parents have ...
A. 26 May 2021: If your daughter is being fostered it means you lost custody. It means you might be the bio mom but you have NO legal rights to her, nor does her bio dad.
Unless he sues for rights and legal access he has none.
The foster parents are her ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is very clingy
Q. My new bf is really clingy. I'm 33 and he's 29 and I adore him but he is always needing to be touching me somehow, or hugging or kissing and k find it really overwhelming. I tell him and he gets upset or offended as if I don't like him when I say ...
A. 26 May 2021: Do you two live together?
If not, TAKE a day off from seeing him and REST.
Also, it seems rather unhealthy that he can't accept that you need a little personal space. He doesn't seem to respect YOUR boundaries at all.
If morning sex isn't ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is 30 years old and his parents are too controlling
Q. So my boyfriend and I were going to use his family’s motor home for the weekend. His mom learned I was not getting the covid vaccine and told my boyfriends dad his dad then stated I couldn’t be in his motor home his house or his cabin. I was upset ...
A. 26 May 2021: I would walk away now.
This won't change and YOU shouldn't be the one to "decide" if he should cut his parents off or not, and certainly not at the risk of his son.
How can he temporarily lose custody? His MOM tells him he can't see his ki... (read in full...)
Are my parents right to take such drastic action to stop me drinking underage ?
Q. are my parents right to take such drastic action to stop me drinking alcohol underage ? in the past couple of weeks i have been coming home drunk ( NOT ON SCHOOL NIGHTS )my parents said they are worried and unless i stop drinking they will have to ...
A. 26 May 2021: What do you suggest they do instead of their "chosen" punishment?
... (read in full...)
Blow jobs and the bad taste of urine.
Q. My husband and I have always been sexually active, up until he became incontinent. I never had any inhibitions when it came to blow jobs until I tasted urine. Now I am put off by the taste and smell and can not bring myself to do it. He is quite ...
A. 25 May 2021: How about just using your hands?
Has he seen a doctor about the incontinence? Is there a fix for it?
... (read in full...)
Are my parents right to take such drastic action to stop me drinking underage ?
Q. are my parents right to take such drastic action to stop me drinking alcohol underage ? in the past couple of weeks i have been coming home drunk ( NOT ON SCHOOL NIGHTS )my parents said they are worried and unless i stop drinking they will have to ...
A. 25 May 2021: Good spotting there YCNBS!
... (read in full...)
Are my parents right to take such drastic action to stop me drinking underage ?
Q. are my parents right to take such drastic action to stop me drinking alcohol underage ? in the past couple of weeks i have been coming home drunk ( NOT ON SCHOOL NIGHTS )my parents said they are worried and unless i stop drinking they will have to ...
A. 24 May 2021: You are under 18 (which is the legal drinking age in the UK) so you shouldn't be drinking, especially if they have TOLD you that you CAN'T while you live with them.
However, can they lock you in the basement? No.
But I do understand their... (read in full...)
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