My boyfriend told me he needs to find a new girlfriend after an argument. Is he being abusive?
Q. My boyfriend, after an argument, told me he needs to find a new girlfriend, that I drive him crazy. We were having a disagreement about his male friend. His friend and I got off to a bad start. He doesn't like me. My boyfriend and I were driving ...
A. 1 July 2021: "I think all of these reactions are over the top and abusive to be honest."
Yes.
However, your BF can not control WHEN his friend calls him or that his friend has a PREFERENCE to talk to your BF when YOU are not around. That is on the friend... (read in full...)
What would cause someone to act like this?
Q. Hello, I have a confusing problem with a guy at work. I think he greatly dislikes me, although I have no idea why. This guy, was recently hired about 2 months ago. I was friendly to him like I am to everyone, but he avoids me every chance he...
A. 1 July 2021: It isn't you. It's him.
Maybe he is socially awkward. Maybe he is just a jerk.
Regardless, leave him be. Be polite IF you HAVE to talk to him, otherwise don't waste your time or energy on him. He obviously doesn't want to talk. He is ther... (read in full...)
Can a school bully ever have redemptive qualities?
Q. When I was in 10th grade, the 11th and 12th graders were hazing and initiating us even though it was against school rules. I thought it was just a guy thing but then had an 11th grade girl tells me I was her initiation assignment. I had training in ...
A. 1 July 2021: Sure, a bully can have redemptive qualities - EVERYONE can. Just like "nice" people can have some "bad" qualities that rarely show. People grow and mature, and people grow up. I think most of us have done something stupid and thoughtless in our ... (read in full...)
I don't trust my boyfriends actions on the cell phone
Q. Hi and thank you!! Little background. I have been dating for about 2 years. At times it's been a roller coaster. My boyfriend has been caught on hook up sites, ( he denies it's his, apparently it's his friends) of course I don't buy it. ...
A. 30 June 2021: You can't have a solid relationship without trust. It's pretty simple.
And you don't trust him. He does questionable things and then tries to gaslight you (with the oh my friend made that hook up account) into thinking he isn't lying, thankful... (read in full...)
Has she outgrown our friendship?
Q. So I’m a little confused with how my friend has been towards me recently. We’ve been friends for 14 years and also colleagues. We were both each other’s bridesmaids at our weddings. Every year we exchange birthday and Christmas gifts but...
A. 30 June 2021: Wow, that is crappy!
I would stop making an effort. For Christmas, send a card. No gift. Or no card at all. Same for birthday. Just make a Facebook post like she did.
When someone says I have a present for you, I'll bring it round and then d... (read in full...)
He acts like a boyfriend but will not commit
Q. I've got myself into a situation and think I need to walk away but it hurts too much. I've fallen in love with this guy. Id class him as a mate. He's picked me up when I've been at rock bottom and we message all day every day. We were supposed to...
A. 30 June 2021: I'll start with your last question:
" And can a person really like being alone?."
Yes
But HE isn't WANTING to be alone, he just doesn't want an official relationship. He wants the GF experience (so to speak) with you, watching movies, cud... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has become a different person
Q. My girfriend changed. Itz a completely different person than who I met 3 years ago. She is 27, I am 35. We are planning to get married very soon. Now I dont even know anymore. First I didnt really pay that much attention but now it's obvious....
A. 30 June 2021: I absolutely agree with CodeWarrior,
This needs to be sorted BEFORE the wedding IF there is to be one.
My secondary advice is to let her know YOU have seen a big decline in her interactions and participation. And if it's anything YOU are... (read in full...)
Plummeting Sex Life and Loss of Sexual Confindence
Q. Hey there. I’m not even sure how I found this place, but it seems to be what I needed to find... I rarely ask for help but I need to get this off my chest. From the beginning, I tried to make sure my wife and I were sexually compatible. I as...
A. 24 June 2021: How about you two start with the basics?
Like, try a NONsexual but intimate massage, taking turns? Have the person who is getting massaged speak up where something feels really good (even in a sexual manner) to be touched.
IF she is NOT into ... (read in full...)
I am 15 years younger than my partner. Am I still not young enough for him?
Q. I am 53 and my partner is 68. He looks at younger women. I realize I too, am a younger woman to him but it does bother me. As good as I look for my age (I have been told I look at least 10 years younger), it still doesn't stop him. Today wh...
A. 23 June 2021: This is who he is.
Someone who will ALWAYS look for greener grass. In this case younger grass.
"Scientific data shows that men, even as they age, will continue to be attracted to very young women, but women prefer men of a similar age to t... (read in full...)
Should I act on my feelings for my friend or continue dating the new girl and see what happens?
Q. I’ve got myself into a sticky situation and I don’t know what to do - please help! I have this female friend I have known since we were kids. I’ve always had a slight thing for her. She’s stunning, a genuinely nice person and an all around good ...
A. 23 June 2021: I think you need to end it with the new girl and give the "old" girl a shot.
You should NOT start a relationship (with the new girl) if you SO early on are willing to cheat. Doesn't matter if you didn't have "full-on sex" you did things that are... (read in full...)
Did he give me a fake number on purpose ?
Q. So I was talking with this guy on the elevator he already knows me we live in the same building too. First I asked him if he has a PS4 he said he didn't so I asked if I can get his number he said yeah. So I made him write it since I left my phone at ...
A. 23 June 2021: Maybe he did give you the wrong number on purpose. Maybe he doesn't have a phone? Or maybe he didn't remember it correctly. It's impossible to know.
Maybe next time you see him ask him if he got your text.
... (read in full...)
Lack of boundaries or opportunists?
Q. I have this friend she always asks for help with a lot of things. I feel her mentality is along the lines of "there's no harm in asking?". My nature is that I feel uncomfortable being asked for things too often and I have a need to support my ...
A. 23 June 2021: I agree with YCBS
It's not about culture, it's about ONE person. I know people who wouldn't ask for help even if they know there were 10 people who would jump at it. And I know people you ask for help over the dumbest stuff. It makes them feel goo... (read in full...)
Are Nicer Guys Attracted To More Natural Looking Women And Players To Less Modest Ones?
Q. I recently "blocked and deleted" a guy who tried to neg and pit me against "high maintenance" looking women - the Instagram model types who wear a ton of makeup, etc. He would always bring up how hot he found women with what he called the "Instagram ...
A. 23 June 2021: I think it has less to do with how a woman looks and more about how she acts.
A player usually looks for someone that he can pick up fast and drop fast. If a woman is willing to show her body off, follow trends, and copies other women who are know... (read in full...)
Should I start a friends with benefits?
Q. Afew months ago, one of my ex-colleagues who is muslim asked me on facebook if he wanted to be friends with benefits, which I declined because we were work colleagues - its very awkward! He ended up leaving the company and I am reconsidering this ...
A. 23 June 2021: I think having an FWB with ANYONE (regardless of religious or ethnic background) as your FIRST partner is a BAD idea. People (not all but most, especially women) do get attached emotionally to people they have sex with. It's pretty common.
And t... (read in full...)
I got drunk and woke up naked in bed with my flatmate
Q. Last night I was drinking with my flatmates and they gave me beer - me: female 31 and them: males 38 and 39 and I just went through a breakup. So I woke up this morning in my flatmates bed naked. I don't find him attractive at all. Infact I was ...
A. 23 June 2021: Yeah, you definitely need to stop drinking. You weren't just drunk, you were blackout drunk if you have no memory of events. Or as Kenny suggests, you could have been spiked. How well do you know these roommates?
"But I find I cannot concentr... (read in full...)
It is normal to be horny during my period?
Q. Hi,i really feel so horny during my periods,is it normal...
A. 23 June 2021: Yes, totally normal.... (read in full...)
My partners brother is a bad influence on my partner and I don’t know what to do about it.
Q. My partners brother is a bad influence on my partner and I don’t know what to do about it. So his brother is married with two children, but has openly admitted he isn’t happy and felt he was pushed into marriage but a divorce is too expensiv...
A. 22 June 2021: Accept reality.
Your BF doesn't have issues with doing drugs, he sees nothing "bad" in it. He just agrees with you to PLACATE you and SHUT you up when you bring it up.
His brother didn't MAKE him do drugs. He made that choice on his own.
H... (read in full...)
I am sad that I don't have a good relationship with my children
Q. Dear Cupid, Im here to open up my sadness regarding my own children. I have 2 children, 1 daughter and 1 son. They have diffirent father as the father of my first one ( daughter ) cheated on me when my daughter still in my belly. The fathe...
A. 21 June 2021: I am glad that you are choosing to take care of yourself.
I hope you will have a great time up North.
I think your daughter was surprised that you stood up for yourself and that SHE needs to be kinder. So it seems like her fiance is not a ... (read in full...)
Is there potential with this girl (24/F) or should it be obvious by now?
Q. Hello everyone. I don't really believe in asking these types of questions online but I don't have anyone I know that I could ask this about. I also don't think I could really get an "answer" as such but I'd like to hear people's thoughts. I've...
A. 21 June 2021: Glad you found someone that gave you useful advice, OP
But to clarify... the toilet/pot analogy wasn't about her. It was about YOU making a choice - EVENTUALLY. At some point, you will HAVE to. Unless you think it's OK to string another pers... (read in full...)
I am sad that I don't have a good relationship with my children
Q. Dear Cupid, Im here to open up my sadness regarding my own children. I have 2 children, 1 daughter and 1 son. They have diffirent father as the father of my first one ( daughter ) cheated on me when my daughter still in my belly. The fathe...
A. 20 June 2021: I think this is heartbreaking.
I think your kids feel you OWE them everything because you had to work abroad while they were growing up. If they can not understand the sacrifice YOU had to make to raise them, that is on them.
I think you need t... (read in full...)
3 of my friends like me and I don't know what to do
Q. I am a fifteeen year old girl who has recently had a lot of guy trouble. Three of my friends like me and i have no idea how to handle the situation. i'll start by explaining the situation with each one of them individually. 1, W (i have no intere...
A. 20 June 2021: #1 W - I's start to distance myself from him, he is being an entitled dick and you don't OWE him anything. He is NOt a friend. He has ulterior motives to be around you - basically thinking he can guilt or pressure you into dating him. THAT is shit ... (read in full...)
Can't stop thinking about my assistant after love confession
Q. I can’t stop thinking about my assistant at work after he told me he loved me. The problem is though I’m a married woman. I work in the offices for a manufacturing company and basically deal with all the admin work. I’ve been there for 14 yea...
A. 18 June 2021: Absolutely agree with Code Warrior and Kenny.
You shouldn't have apologized. You DID the right thing and the PROFESSIONAL thing.
As for "But how can I put these feelings to bed if we’re spending so much time together? For 9 hours a day, 5 d... (read in full...)
How do I make her see I can't always be giving her attention?
Q. My girlfriend is very clingy. She was not as bad earlier in the relationship. It was more tolerable. Now it's like call me or we don't talk enough meanwhile I text and talk as much as I can. She keeps track of dates, times we talk and the ...
A. 18 June 2021: I don't think you can "make" her see this. She knows, but she WANTS the attention and she WANTS access to you 24/7 and she WANTS you to respond. This is how SHE feels loved. Kind of hard to argue with that, right?
My advice?
Tell her UNLE... (read in full...)
When should an adult stop having crushes on people under 18?
Q. When should an adult stop having crushes on people under 18? Im 18 years old and crush on people younger than me at my school. Obviously this is fine, but will it still be weird to be crushing on people in high school say when Im in college and 20+? ...
A. 18 June 2021: Start by using common sense.
4 years (18 and 14) is a HUGE age gap at that age. It would be like a 14-year-old "crushing on an 8-year-old. Basically. That that is a teenager crushing on a CHILD. But a 25-year-old with a 29-year-old seems more on ... (read in full...)
I am really in love with my male teacher. should I date him?
Q. i am really in love with my male teacher. should i date him?...
A. 17 June 2021: No, thousand times no.... (read in full...)
Do I expect too much of my 11 year old stepson?
Q. My question is child related. My stepson who lives with me and his dad for 3 years now . He came to me at age 8/9 is now 11/12 . Now I wonder if I expect to much of him .. I ask him to put his washed dried and ironed clothes away but most t...
A. 17 June 2021: I think having him diagnosed might be a good idea, but I would talk to his dad first. It does sound like ADHD
I'm in my 50's and there are times I can have long great conversations and other times I just space out. Preoccupied with other things. ... (read in full...)
Do I expect too much of my 11 year old stepson?
Q. My question is child related. My stepson who lives with me and his dad for 3 years now . He came to me at age 8/9 is now 11/12 . Now I wonder if I expect to much of him .. I ask him to put his washed dried and ironed clothes away but most t...
A. 15 June 2021: WiseOwlE
When OP said Football, she meant Soccer :) She is British. Less chance of head injuries. Just figured I'd clear that up.
... (read in full...)
The pandemic has made me question my marriage and ponder divorce
Q. Since March of last year I have been full-time telecommuting. My spouse is unemployed and has been for a few years now although she always worked before. She quit her job because it was stressful to her and I make so much more money than she does...
A. 15 June 2021: I would talk to a lawyer FIRST (before you tell her you are considering divorce).
So you can know exactly what you MAY have to pay for (alimony etc) Since she hasn't worked for a few years. Even if she is a fully-abled person who COULD work, bu... (read in full...)
I am furious at my boyfriend's female friend!
Q. So I have been with my partner 3 years now. Over that time he has had a friend of the opposite sex. That he had known for years but not seen in person in a long time, think social like 3x in the time he has known her, long before he met me. My gut f...
A. 14 June 2021: Your BF seems to have taken the "appropriate steps". She is now blocked and he showed you what was going on.
So points to him for that.
I would NOT contact her if I were you. She is obviously looking for attention. And you would be playing... (read in full...)
I'm shocked at how blinded I was by online man I gave money to
Q. Hi and thank you!! So I'm dating a man who unfortunately is consumed with money ots money this, money that. Huge turn off to me. Sure we all need it but it doesn't consume me. Seems hes always broke always needing something. I need groce...
A. 14 June 2021: Oh, honey,
YOU are being scammed. Left and right.
He doesn't LOVE you. He isn't going to move to the UK to be with you. YOU are just one of MANY women he is CONNING into giving him money.
Let me guess, he is from Nigeria? Or some other 3... (read in full...)
Why does my friend act this way? Is she trying to make me jealous?
Q. When you’re day-drinking with a friend and she gazes over at you and asks “why did you have a crush on ____ instead of me?” looking like she’s going to cry (when you in fact have been madly in love with this friend for years and there’s no way they ...
A. 14 June 2021: I think she just wants you hooked so SHE gets all your attention.
Why are you pining after someone who obviously isn't really into you romantically?
... (read in full...)
Why is my ex friend lurking around?
Q. My ex friend and myself had a falling out afew months ago surrounding the efforts put into the friendship as well as how they were treating me. Now I feel like they are lurking or keeping tabs on me to check to see what I am doing. Our falling ou...
A. 14 June 2021: Just unfriend and block him on Facebook too. and the game you used to play together. (if you can block or ignore his account).
Even if you RARELY use it ... YOU have given him access to needle you and he is doing JUST that. JUST to mess with you... (read in full...)
Do I expect too much of my 11 year old stepson?
Q. My question is child related. My stepson who lives with me and his dad for 3 years now . He came to me at age 8/9 is now 11/12 . Now I wonder if I expect to much of him .. I ask him to put his washed dried and ironed clothes away but most t...
A. 14 June 2021: Yeah, he is 11.
(NOT THAT I CAN DIAGNOSE HIM)
BUT... He might be a little on the ADHD side. Why do I say that? Because it's a common thing with kids with a very short attention span (especially if it's things they are not into) to forget or l... (read in full...)
I want to help my ill brother but I don't want to be a part of his life
Q. My brother and are not close to the point that we haven't talked in over 30 years. My parents and I are barely on speaking terms. I don't need my brother in my life and I don't want him in my life. My parents told me that my brother has canc...
A. 14 June 2021: I agree with Ruby.
Go get tested to see if you are a good match, and request anonymity.
You can do this for him and NOT have to talk to him ever. It's up to you.
If you are not a good match, that can happen too with siblings.... (read in full...)
My husband can't get his ex out of our lives and wants me to play matchmaker
Q. I've been married to my husband for 7 years now, met him in March 2014 when he was 36. No kids, we live an OK existence, not mega-rich but not in major financial struggles even with covid. A bit wealtheir than middle-class, but not living in a ...
A. 14 June 2021: Even though I think this post is 100% fake - probably written by one of the prolific fiction writers here on DC - I will try and answer it anyways.
Why have you not put your foot down?
What reason does your husband really have to keep this ex ... (read in full...)
My Sister's Need For Online Sexual Validation Is Worrying Me, HELP!
Q. My younger sister and I both live at home with our aging parents (we both work, though, and are just doing it to save money). We were both also raised Muslim, though I am not even Muslim any more and our parents, family are OK with this. Like, my ...
A. 13 June 2021: Sounds like your sister is still in the "rebellious teenage stage" which is... not great at age 23. I mean most people are starting to get their shit together at that age.
You can't control your sister but you can sit her down and give her some... (read in full...)
I bought a house abroad and now I'm worried I made a bad decision
Q. I am a. 53 year old woman who split from my long-term partner a few years ago. Without going into detail my life has been very tough, there is no 'family wealth' and I spent most of my life caring for others whilst trying to make some headway ...
A. 13 June 2021: I agree 100% with what YCNBS
"I think you need to keep reminding yourself that nothing is "final". If it turns out not to be the right decision for you, you can sell up and move again. "
If this is NOT where you really want to retire too and y... (read in full...)
What if my worst memories are false?
Q. Dear Agony Aunt and Uncles, How do I deal with the idea that some of my most traumatic memories may not have happened or maybe they did happen, but they may be my own fault? I really am asking for help, so I will be as nongraphic as possible...
A. 13 June 2021: Lance might have laughed but, personally, (even if it's hurtful or scary) I would simply ask him straight up what happened in the basement? It's OK to say all I have are these vague scary memories.
I think you will have a bigger chance of hearing ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is still communicating with the women he cheated on me with
Q. Hello and thanks So my bf and I have been together about 3 years. In the beginning he was cheating and I found out and he apologized and I had to regain my trust in him. Unfortunately he was an Instagram account and hes got the woman he cheated...
A. 12 June 2021: Are you overreacting? Obviously not - from a common-sense stand.
He doesn't USE common sense or rather he is trying to gaslighting you into NOT using some common sense and DUMP his cheating and lying ass.
Like, YCNBS said, we all have differe... (read in full...)
He seemed like a nice guy we met and he's acting strangely and I'm scared
Q. I met a guy online and we communicated for 6 months. I just got out of a relationship and the guy seemed perfect for me. We had all the same hobbies and interests and we started to really like each other. He's 29 and I'm 33. He was so kind and nice ...
A. 11 June 2021: OP, are you safe?
... (read in full...)
What to do about clueless husband and my toxic father
Q. My life is a Mess. It started when I lived with my in laws. We had an unplanned pregnancy and my daughter is now 7. I didn’t know how controlling my in laws were going to get. My husband and I lived with them. They got controlling. My sister in law ...
A. 11 June 2021: Get yourselves sorted. The sooner the better. That means GET jobs - find a place to live THEN contact a lawyer and go from there.
They can be crappy people but they have the law on their side right now. And neither of you have a job or a place to... (read in full...)
What to do about clueless husband and my toxic father
Q. My life is a Mess. It started when I lived with my in laws. We had an unplanned pregnancy and my daughter is now 7. I didn’t know how controlling my in laws were going to get. My husband and I lived with them. They got controlling. My sister in law ...
A. 7 June 2021: As for your father- well know you know you can not rely on him, so stop believing anything he promises you.
You are in your 30's - you are DEFINITELY old enough to take care of yourselves.... (read in full...)
What to do about clueless husband and my toxic father
Q. My life is a Mess. It started when I lived with my in laws. We had an unplanned pregnancy and my daughter is now 7. I didn’t know how controlling my in laws were going to get. My husband and I lived with them. They got controlling. My sister in law ...
A. 7 June 2021: Did your in-laws get custody because you and your husband can't take care of yourselves and a kid (financially)?
If so, you know what you need to do. YOU both need to find work and PROVE to the courts that you CAN take care of your child, financia... (read in full...)
He seemed like a nice guy we met and he's acting strangely and I'm scared
Q. I met a guy online and we communicated for 6 months. I just got out of a relationship and the guy seemed perfect for me. We had all the same hobbies and interests and we started to really like each other. He's 29 and I'm 33. He was so kind and nice ...
A. 7 June 2021: Get out of there NOW. Not tomorrow, NOW.
Find a hotel, pack your shit, call a cab and GO. Fly home when you can.
Then you BLOCK him and stop all contact.
And next time, use a little more common sense! ANYONE can seem like a nice guy, th... (read in full...)
Is there potential with this girl (24/F) or should it be obvious by now?
Q. Hello everyone. I don't really believe in asking these types of questions online but I don't have anyone I know that I could ask this about. I also don't think I could really get an "answer" as such but I'd like to hear people's thoughts. I've...
A. 1 June 2021: It's hard to really give you advice here. Because I can see it working out and not.
1. Firstly, accept that SHE isn't you. She isn't going to be a female clone of you. She is not going to be just like you. Nor is any other woman.
2. Secondly, ... (read in full...)
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