Has anyone struggled with life for so long and actually managed to turn your life around for the better?
Q. Has anyone been able to gain there confidence at such a later part in your life and been truly happy? I have been in a rut and stuck in life for years now. I didn't realise how much hope and spark I'd lost in life.. I go to work come back waste ...
A. 4 September 2021: Find things that YOU enjoy (other than dating and such) things you CAN do alone but also SHARE with others.
Learn a skill or a language. Doesn't matter what (other than something you are interested in of course). KEEP working on you.
You tal... (read in full...)
There are far too many red flags. Is this guy worth it?
Q. I’ve been seeing my partner 6 months. I’ve previously been in a business relationships which affected me and my daughter who is 16 so I am cautious. Until I met my partner I was happy with my kids on my own but on times would like company. Generally ...
A. 4 September 2021: You know this guy is all wrong and is trying (and being successful on occasions) to USE you for money and your car.
Your daughter is sleeping on the couch? Why? Does she not have a room?
Also, your daughter seems to READ this guy a million ti... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's new confidence is making me a little nervous
Q. This is probably going to sound really pathetic, but I’m really anxious that now my autistic boyfriend seems to have found his feet in the world and is more confident in himself he’s going to cheat or leave me for someone else. He’s just completely ...
A. 2 September 2021: This is entirely something going on in your head.
I think you should be PROUD of him. And yourself. Because he wouldn't have gotten to this point without you. He is trying to be a better MAN for you. And for himself. That is COMMENDABLE! He isn't... (read in full...)
Is this being a tease?
Q. so I'm 14 i don't whant to have sex yet but I want to kiss and cuddle and some other things but I don't want to have sex is that being a tease ...
A. 2 September 2021: No, it's not being a tease, however, unless you are VERY good at setting boundaries and VERY good at shutting "stuff down" (if that happens) and GOOD at making sure the other person KNOWS your boundaries - it can all go really wrong.
I'd say if y... (read in full...)
How do I move on from this? I feel my boyfriend was really out of line!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years, he is generally quite a loving and doting boyfriend but very headstrong and stubborn in his beliefs that results in my concerns always not being heard in the relationship. Recently, as w...
A. 1 September 2021: I think you are being overdramatic here.
Unless you have a GOOD reason for jumping straight to "this is not OK to do". Has he cheated in a past? Flirted with women right in front of you?
Personally, I'd say:
That it is a typical "I want to ... (read in full...)
My bf says he was drinking alone but then what was the deal with all those cups and glasses?
Q. I dropped in on my boyfriend of 2 years unexpectedly after a night he was drinking. When I walked into the lounge he had two cups out and two small glasses but says he was drinking alone. Wee have a good relationship and there isn't any other ...
A. 1 September 2021: That does seem iffy. But... knowing that MANY men have horrible "housekeeping skills" (such as NOT putting the dirty glasses in the dishwasher or wash them) it IS quite possible that some of the glasses were from another day.
I would give him the ... (read in full...)
I like this girl but I'm not ready for a serious commitment of any sort.
Q. Dear Cupid, I've been seeing this girl for a 2ish years. When we first met we were both pretty adamant that marriage was off the table. I told her I didn't see myself marrying and we continued to see each other. She's slowly made passes about mov...
A. 1 September 2021: You two are at a crossroads here. You want to stay where you are. SHE wants to take a left, right, or a straight forward path. You are not on the same page anymore. She wants more than you are WILLING to give.
It's OK to be unsure. But stringin... (read in full...)
He claims he loves me but I really don't know if his love for me is based on what I provide for him
Q. Hello, My boyfriend and I have been together for about 2 years now. He claims he loves me but I really don't know if his love for me is based on what I provide for him. He bought some land and now needs financial assistance with it. O...
A. 30 August 2021: Seriously? Be demanded money and when he got a no, he called you arrogant and pompous?
He IS using you. The reason he could BUY that piece of land was that he thought HE could get YOU to fund it, partly.
He has NEVER paid back a dime? That sho... (read in full...)
Boyfriend and I worked for same company. He got fired and is now pressuring me to quit
Q. Hello, I have been with my partner for almost two years, were engaged. I work for a pretty good company I actually got him hired were I worked. I have been with the company for 3 years. The company I work put me in a manager training class w...
A. 30 August 2021: Yikes!
Your BF/fiance is a total tool! He "thinks" he can do a better job than you -why? Because he is male? Because he is smarter than you?
Apparently, HE doesn't understand that promotions are mostly EARNED, not just giving like participati... (read in full...)
Why would my partner want to leave his seven year old son suddenly?
Q. Why would my partner want to leave his seven year old son suddenly? I am lost because its been the plan to move to his city until his son was 18. He also, comments that he never wanted his son. He wanted his ex to get an abortion. My partne...
A. 30 August 2021: " He even said he'll pay child support."
Well, he has no choice there. He will HAVE to pay child support if the mother has the child full time. The military will take the child support out of his paycheck BEFORE he sees a dime.
Maybe he want... (read in full...)
My wife was crying on our wedding day because she was thinking about her ex!!
Q. I got married almost a month ago. My wife and I have been together for three years and known each other for five. She had just gotten out of a seven year relationship when we met. He was her first love and they broke up because he was on drugs and ...
A. 30 August 2021: wow, that was totally uncalled for!
How callous of her! TBH this would be a deal-breaker for me. Absolutely.
I think you need to talk to her. Or you will start to resent her and second guess EVERYTHING she says and does.
No one should F... (read in full...)
I know his kids will come first and I wouldn’t want it any other way but where do I fit in?
Q. Can you aunts and uncles give me some advice on dating a man with kids? I’ve been dating a man for about two month, we both have a lot of work commitments due to the job we do so this gives little time to meet up. He also has two children to diff...
A. 29 August 2021: It's only 2 months in so you don't really fit in at all. Meeting the kids should come much much later after there is an established relationship.
BUT if he doesn't really have time to spend time with you (in person) you can't really MAKE a workin... (read in full...)
LDR annoyed by my sharing too much with my friends
Q. I've been in a long distance relationship for 8 months. I have never experienced this before. We met online and due to being hurt before I was nervous. So I confided in friends and asked their opinion. Maybe I confided too much but I was really p...
A. 28 August 2021: OP, take some time and think about how YOU can work on the insecurities you have and trust issues. Because YOU are the only one who can fix this. He can not.
You know logically that it's unfair to judge him for what someone else did to you, but... (read in full...)
Is my LDR losing interest?
Q. I'm in a ldr with a man 30 from a different country and have been for 8 months. The beginning was amazing as always. He was full of compliments and we never argued. We finally met months down the line and had a great time although we had a few squa...
A. 27 August 2021: I think the reality is setting in.
What you have is NOT a realtionship per se. You two text, call, and video call. While tech is great for keeping in touch, it's not so great for keeping a real relationship going.
I think you did the right th... (read in full...)
My younger boyfriend hangs out with his friends every day
Q. Hi my boyfriend is 30 and I'm 40. Hes still hangs out ALOT with friends, on a daily basis. I usually keep quiet about it but we have no alone time really. Just when we sleep basically. We have been together for over a year, I thought maybe it...
A. 27 August 2021: "Am I wasting my time?"
Yes.
He is not a good fit for you. He actually got OFFENDED when you said you felt he spend way more time with his friends than you. OFFENDED.
End it and find someone who WANTS to spend time with you. Someone who ca... (read in full...)
My wife complains often and does little
Q. How do I get my wife to stop complaining about things that don't seem to exist? I have been married for 15 years. The last 7 years it's been a battle. Honey I can't get off the couch my stomach hurts too much, honey my head is hurting. I offe...
A. 27 August 2021: Something is up, for sure.
If she suffers from depression is she getting help? Or trying to "wait it out"?
You might HAVE to give her an ultimatum. Go see a doctor, get help with the depression Or I'm walking.
You have tried for the last ... (read in full...)
LDR annoyed by my sharing too much with my friends
Q. I've been in a long distance relationship for 8 months. I have never experienced this before. We met online and due to being hurt before I was nervous. So I confided in friends and asked their opinion. Maybe I confided too much but I was really p...
A. 27 August 2021: How much time have you spent with your BF IN person?
And I can definitely see it from his point. IF there are things you weren't happy about or made you worry, HE is the one you should have talked to. HE is the one YOU are dating, not your fri... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to make rules for my cheating boyfriend?
Q. I’ve recently taken back my boyfriend after he cheated on me. Am I right in telling him he can’t go out with his mates because I think they are a bad influence on him? The last thing I’d ever want to be is a controlling partner as I cannot STAN...
A. 27 August 2021: Ah, OP
The "classic mistake" to "forgive" a cheater and take them back.
You haven't forgiven him that is obvious. You "said" the words but the actual forgiveness take time and you aren't there yet.
Like FA said, do you want to be a GF or a... (read in full...)
My girlfriend had an abortion after an unwanted pregnancy. Will it get easier?
Q. I’m 26 and my gf is 19. When we first met I really tried to not let my feelings get the best of me and I tried to basically not like her. That didn’t work. We ended up spending a lot of time together and started dating. Dating during Covid was ...
A. 27 August 2021: Ultimately, you can't MAKE her get help. You have suggested counseling and being there if she wants to talk, there isn't much else you can do.
I don't think women "get over" such a traumatic event, ever. They just get better at living with it.... (read in full...)
I think I need to give up on this very shady man. Thoughts?
Q. Hi I met a man online. We have gone out several times but something is definitely off. We can only meet about 30 mins from his house. It's like he has a time limit. He says him and his ex still live together which is a HUGE red flag. They ...
A. 26 August 2021: Urgh, OP
I was thinking if that really IS his ex-wife he will be looking to find a woman to shack up with and live off asap. If he can't afford to live on his own (and pay child support) he will either stay there with her, or want to mooch of... (read in full...)
Guy has criminal background. When do you let the past be the past?
Q. Over the course of a year, I have fallen in love with a man who occassionally comes to service my work place’s building. He has also developed feelings for me which we both recently admitted to. The characteristics he has exhibited...
A. 26 August 2021: I have to agree with Carrie,
There is WAY too much bragging about himself for my taste. Like someone seriously padding their "resume" to look like they are better than they are. He is basically saying that his boss trusted him SOOOO much and YOU ... (read in full...)
I feel I should withhold sex from my husband because he made me feel bad about my boobs. Am I overreacting?
Q. I am so LIVID right now. I was just out at the store trying on dresses for an upcoming event. My husband usually accompanies me as he likes to watch me model clothes and weighs in with his opinion. Well his opinion does matter to me as he is my ...
A. 26 August 2021: I think you are overreacting. And probably because YOU feel bad about the weight gain.
You asked him a question, he CHOSE to answer it honestly. But it's the age-old "does this make my ass look gat question" where the guy JUST can not win or say t... (read in full...)
My girlfriend had an abortion after an unwanted pregnancy. Will it get easier?
Q. I’m 26 and my gf is 19. When we first met I really tried to not let my feelings get the best of me and I tried to basically not like her. That didn’t work. We ended up spending a lot of time together and started dating. Dating during Covid was ...
A. 25 August 2021: I would suggest your GF get some counseling. Most places that offer abortions ALSO offer to counsel.
She is dealing with the hormonal side (as she started to produce pregnancy hormones) then is dealing with the emotional, moral, her personal... (read in full...)
I think I need to give up on this very shady man. Thoughts?
Q. Hi I met a man online. We have gone out several times but something is definitely off. We can only meet about 30 mins from his house. It's like he has a time limit. He says him and his ex still live together which is a HUGE red flag. They ...
A. 24 August 2021: Throw in the towel.
He is living with his ex and kids. HOW can he even HAVE a relationship with anyone else?
While I get being financially hard up, THAT happens. And I GET living together to save money and BE there for your kids... I think ... (read in full...)
I am in a new relationship with a man who is uncircumcised and I have zero experience!
Q. I am in a new relationship with a man who is uncircumcised and I have zero experience. I’ve read up a lot, but most of the information out there is quite medical and is good to know…..but I need some “hands on” advice… I don’t want to disappoint or ...
A. 24 August 2021: You are in your 30's - TALK to him. Ask him what is the best way to be gentle and "bring joy".
It's a penis. It just still had the foreskin. THAT is it.
... (read in full...)
My mother-in-law has come out as a trans man but my husband can't seem to cope with it
Q. My husband told me on Wednesday he needs help but doesn't know how to get it for his problem. His mom has come out as a transman after knowing for 15 years but struggling with the issue, and my husband can't cope. He's started stress-eating to ...
A. 24 August 2021: First. I'm so sorry for your SIL. Lupus IS worse than Covid 19. (in my book).
I would just ask your SIL what she needs help with. Such as perhaps you go shopping for her when she is having a flare-up, as her immune system is weaker at those ti... (read in full...)
How do I deal with a clingy girlfriend?
Q. Hi everyone How do I deal with a clingy gf? Little background. We have been together for about 2 years. In the beginning she didn't appear clingy. This last year she certainly has been. If I don't see her, theres an argument, if I d...
A. 22 August 2021: OP, thanks for the update,
I think what you really need to do is reevaluate if she is the partner you want long-term.
My guess is not really.
Hiding or omitting you had an addiction and are in treatment for it is a HUGE no, no for me. She ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend demanded a new phone from me, got it, and then told me that I'm stingy and petty
Q. Hi and thanks! My boyfriend and I have been together almost 2 years. I recently purchased a new cell, it was well needed as my other one was old and not functioning properly. My bf decided he should also have a new one, at my expense. I was ...
A. 22 August 2021: Why is it your responsibility to BUY your BF a phone? *hint hint* it's NOT!
He isn't a CHILD and you are not his mommy!
He wants a new phone then HE will have to work and save up to get one!
Ask for the phone back. Then you can sell it and... (read in full...)
I want to tell the father of my daughter how I feel about him but I'm petrified he won't feel the same way
Q. I want to tell the father of my child how I really feel about him but I’m petrified that he won’t feel the same because of the age gap. I’m 30 whereas he’s only 24. It’s honestly a situation I’d never imagined I’d find myself in with him. He w...
A. 21 August 2021: He sounds rather responsible for a 24-year-old!
Instead of playing games (such as dressing up and telling him you are going on date) talk to him, maybe ask him if he wants to do a "family" outing with the wee one.
I wouldn't blurt it out. I ... (read in full...)
Do you think my husband's sexual preference makes him bisexual?
Q. Dear cupid My husband of 3 years told me yesterday he likes having dildo/vibrator in his ass, and this started when he was a teenager.the thing is its freaking me out that he might be bisexual, I asked and he said no. I did play it cool when he ...
A. 21 August 2021: I think men who likes anal (not with another man but a toy) have found that it gives them more enjoyment when the prostate is also "engaged".
Him liking a dildo in his butt, doesn't MAKE him gay or bisexual. If he wanted a MAN to have sex with him... (read in full...)
How do I deal with a clingy girlfriend?
Q. Hi everyone How do I deal with a clingy gf? Little background. We have been together for about 2 years. In the beginning she didn't appear clingy. This last year she certainly has been. If I don't see her, theres an argument, if I d...
A. 21 August 2021: This is what you need to tell her:
"I really dislike how she makes me feel for trying to live my life." I would also ask her what is really going on because you have noticed she is less independent than she used to be.
It's fair and honest.... (read in full...)
Is Porn good to watch? or it's a Sin?
Q. Everytime I watch porn, something bad is happening from the next day and it stays for a few days and everything will be fine later. But, I can't stop watching porn because somewhere in daily life is triggering me to watch porn. It maybe from TV ...
A. 19 August 2021: " But, I can't stop watching porn because somewhere in daily life is triggering me to watch porn."
Yes, you CAN stop watching. It just takes some SELF CONTROL. If you really don't want to watch it, BLOCK it on your phone/computer.
Porn isn't re... (read in full...)
Does his Porn Past matter?
Q. Hi Cupids here’s one for you. I’ve been chatting to a guy for a few weeks on Snapchat and I really fancy him loads, but he’s just confessed that he used to be a porn star. We met in a club a few weeks ago, swapped details and have been chatting al...
A. 19 August 2021: Whether I think it matters or not, I'm not the one who might be dating him!
YOU are.
HPV can not be tested for unless he has obvious genital warts but there are a large number of types of HPV. Some can cause cancer (penile/uterus) ... (read in full...)
I have been warned my children are in danger from my husband's family
Q. Hey everyone , I have a very serious problem and my daughter's safety is involved and my husband doesn't believe me. We moved all the way across country from the north (where all my family is) to the south (where my husband's family is he st...
A. 19 August 2021: While I don't believe in a lot of things. My first thought is I (as in me) can not TELL you to disregard or believe your aunt.
What I can tell you is that you sound miserable and unhappy where you are at. And I have to ask, HOW is your oldest d... (read in full...)
He used me for money and is still trying to contact me
Q. Good day! So here is my story and please I'm not coming here to be bashed. Cause I'm very aware I made bad choices. I met a man online 1 year ago. He was incredibly sweet, charismatic, caring. We talked for many months before I actuall...
A. 19 August 2021: You are aware that you were used. You were too kind and not good at setting boundaries. SO maybe this guy was someone you "had" to met to TEACH you this lesson.
So don't beat yourself up over it anymore.
Change your number. It's probably ea... (read in full...)
Why has she ruined what was, or seemed a happy relationship?
Q. I`ve been living with my partner in her house for 6 months. During this time we`ve had a couple of ups and downs as I`ve stumbled upon internet activity with dating sites and found her to have dating apps on her phone. Each time denying doing ...
A. 19 August 2021: You ask WHY she has done this, I think it's hard to say why. What I will say is that she was doing this BEFORE you two cohabited. When she wasn't with you, she was talking to other men for ego-boost and entertainment. She was "smart enough" to keep ... (read in full...)
I made him number one in my life. Why am I not his?
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for a year now and its going better then good he’s the most loving and caring man I’ve ever met. We love each other and everyday he goes above and beyond for me to make me feel special and loved. I had a very rough ...
A. 18 August 2021: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-feel-like-i-would-drop-plans-with.html
Same poster.
OP, it will be easier for you to get answers if you stick to one post "per topic". Easier for the "Aunts and Uncles" too.... (read in full...)
Do you think there is any possible explanation to justify the pictures?
Q. Hi! So my girlfriend said she went to the museum with 2 friends and posted some photos to social media. However the reflections in the glass in the photos are weird. Firstly there was one of her holding a guys arm when he posed for a photo, so...
A. 17 August 2021: Gunno OP, that I wasn't the only one who thought you overreacted, yet you chose to attack me personally in my inbox.
So either you didn't clarify yourself enough or you just came on here to bash people who take time out of their day to TRY and ... (read in full...)
My husband had an encounter with a sex worker
Q. Last week, my cousin Rachel told me that she'd seen my husband kissing a schoolgirl in a car park by a McDonald's; this girl looked about 16-17, and he didn't even seem to notice her. She didn't want to confront him and cause a scene and embarrass ...
A. 17 August 2021: Well, for one I think you should go get an STD check-up. While he SAID nothing physically happened... you don't know for sure.
What your heritage has to do with anything is beyond me. So if you had been "full English" he wouldn't have done thi... (read in full...)
Could be have been going inside me and still leave some outside?
Q. I have been having sex regularly with my boyfriend over Summer break. Normally, he will pull out and go over my stomach or on the sheets below me. The last few weeks he has started to push deeper before pulling out but still leaving a mess o...
A. 16 August 2021: OP, I hope you have done the test.
We all know it's scary for you.
Is there an adult you can confide in? Who can be there when you tell your parents?
... (read in full...)
I feel I am being used as a sugar mama
Q. Hello! So my boyfriend and I have been together just over two years. We get together 2 or 3 times per month. Hes usually pretty good to me but also seems entitled and expects the best. For bdays as an example he thinks it's good to give him ...
A. 16 August 2021: OK Anon
I think there is more to acting than being pretty and smiling. But that is quite irrelevant here.
Let's pick a few smart ones. Bill and Melinda Gates.. Weird AF marriage! Or Elon Musk knocking up crazy-ass Amber Heard...
The... (read in full...)
Do you think there is any possible explanation to justify the pictures?
Q. Hi! So my girlfriend said she went to the museum with 2 friends and posted some photos to social media. However the reflections in the glass in the photos are weird. Firstly there was one of her holding a guys arm when he posed for a photo, so...
A. 16 August 2021: She goes to the museum and then posts pictures which seems par for the course these days.
But you SIT and look for what is in the reflections? It seems like you really don't trust her to go to a museum with friends. Has she cheated before? ... (read in full...)
I feel I am being used as a sugar mama
Q. Hello! So my boyfriend and I have been together just over two years. We get together 2 or 3 times per month. Hes usually pretty good to me but also seems entitled and expects the best. For bdays as an example he thinks it's good to give him ...
A. 13 August 2021: Thanks for the update!
Good for you to see a red flag and trust your "gut".
As for the anon telling you, that you can't be successful and make bad choices or mistakes, ANON you are wrong.. Look around you. Johnny Depp? Anne Hataway? Just t... (read in full...)
Could be have been going inside me and still leave some outside?
Q. I have been having sex regularly with my boyfriend over Summer break. Normally, he will pull out and go over my stomach or on the sheets below me. The last few weeks he has started to push deeper before pulling out but still leaving a mess o...
A. 13 August 2021: Take the test. Just DO it.
If your last period was July 4th? Then yes, it could just be late (when people are stressed it can mess with the period, but you know what can also be the reason.)
NOT taking the test doesn't mean you aren't pregnant.... (read in full...)
Could be have been going inside me and still leave some outside?
Q. I have been having sex regularly with my boyfriend over Summer break. Normally, he will pull out and go over my stomach or on the sheets below me. The last few weeks he has started to push deeper before pulling out but still leaving a mess o...
A. 12 August 2021: 1. you all better be using birth control AND a condom!
You DO know that SEX is how babies are made, right?
"The precum fluid itself does not contain sperm, but sperm can leak into it as it travels down the urethra, where residuals may be... (read in full...)
I feel I am being used as a sugar mama
Q. Hello! So my boyfriend and I have been together just over two years. We get together 2 or 3 times per month. Hes usually pretty good to me but also seems entitled and expects the best. For bdays as an example he thinks it's good to give him ...
A. 12 August 2021: "What do you think?"
Well, I think you should listen to your feelings/"gut" and perhaps reevaluate the relationship as a whole.
I think you need to learn to say no and set some boundaries. If you are going to date a guy like this.
1. you ... (read in full...)
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