He has too much baggage but I don't have the courage to break up with him!
Q. Well, I'm trying to put an end to my 6 month relationship but I'm having a bit of trouble. I can't quite figure out my feelings towards him. To briefly describe my relationship, I've always had second thoughts about us, but really wanted to try to m...
A. 6 March 2015: I agree, IF you REALLY think he is suicidal and not just trying to manipulate you, CALL his mom/dad and let them know that he threatened with suicide.
I would also suggest you STOP talking to him. I know you don't want him to hurt himself (that IS... (read in full...)
My wedding is a few weeks away and his ex wife and adult daughters are still causing problems.
Q. I have written in before about my fiance's ex wife and 3 adult girls abusive behavior and was given advice that we followed and basically blocked them off of facebook, and just continued living our lives. My fiance was able to reconnect with a ...
A. 2 March 2015: Ahh so HE isn't consistent? He actually want these women in his life, no matter HOW they treat you and him?
If that is the case, DO NOT marry him, because THAT will not change.
And, no that doesn't make you a "bitch" for wanting some con... (read in full...)
Should I stay with my girlfriend of 6 years?
Q. Hi, I just wanted to get some advice on my relationship as probably I could do with it. I'm 33 and my girlfriend is five years younger than me. We have been going out for 6-7 years. I’m not sure if I should stay with her. When she has no problem ...
A. 1 March 2015: So you stooped to her level by tossing her keys on the tracks, and it didn't make you feel good.
CUT your losses now. Whatever she has of your "stuff" say goodbye to it in your mind.
KEEP ALL the abusive texts she sent you (And I hope you didn'... (read in full...)
My wedding is a few weeks away and his ex wife and adult daughters are still causing problems.
Q. I have written in before about my fiance's ex wife and 3 adult girls abusive behavior and was given advice that we followed and basically blocked them off of facebook, and just continued living our lives. My fiance was able to reconnect with a ...
A. 1 March 2015: I think blaming HIM for his ex-wife and ADULT daughters behavior is unfair.
HE has CHOSEN to deal with them BY ignoring them, my guess is HE knows full well that nothing else will work.
HE can not, you can not, MAKE these women behave decent. I... (read in full...)
Should I go back home and get an education? Or keep doing web cam modeling like my friends suggest?
Q. Hello Everybody, I am thinking of moving back to my home country,been in the Netherlands for sometime now and things are not going as planned for me.As for my Education,i am a high school graduate,i tried saving for University but failed to ra...
A. 28 February 2015: I think you need to decide what is right FOR you. Your friends might have a different priority, they MAY be OK with not being educated.
You have to decide WHAT YOU want and then go for it. Something getting what we want takes longer then we want ... (read in full...)
Am I a bad person to feel the need to talk to other men ?
Q. My partner and I have been together for years now but it's always me that puts in effort, including a normal conversation. I get excited to see him after we both work and to share our days with each other but it's always me to ask how was your day? ...
A. 28 February 2015: Well, I wouldn't call you a "bad person" but I think you are skirting the issue.
You need to be BLUNT with your BF. You need to TELL him he is NOT fulfilling your needs. He isn't a mind-reader.
HIM not fulfilling your needs is NO excuse to cha... (read in full...)
My friend confided in me that her husband was a cheater and then later that night he was hitting on me. Now I don't want to be around them! Help!
Q. Dear Agony Aunts of DearCupid, Something happened to me a few weeks ago that has both shocked and upset me and I don't quite know how to handle it. I am good friends with a married couple who live in the same apartment block. They like a few...
A. 28 February 2015: Talk to your partner. He knows them too.
As for not wanting to spend time with them, THAT is your choice. JUST like it's the WIFE's choice to STAY with a cheating skank of a husband. And the husban'd choice to cheat.
IF you feel that they h... (read in full...)
She is seeing someone else, should I continue with her or not bother?
Q. I met this incredible girl we share a lot of the same interests. From the beginning she stared she is seeing someone else, we spent Valentine's Day together and then spent the following Saturday cuddling and watching movies. Then broke contact for a ...
A. 28 February 2015: LET her go, you are wasting your time on this one.
The fact that she pulled away from you after a lovely Valentine's Day and cuddles, means she isn't INTO you. Maybe the other dude couldn't make it for V-day so she went with you.
Sorry.... (read in full...)
My wedding is a few weeks away and his ex wife and adult daughters are still causing problems.
Q. I have written in before about my fiance's ex wife and 3 adult girls abusive behavior and was given advice that we followed and basically blocked them off of facebook, and just continued living our lives. My fiance was able to reconnect with a ...
A. 28 February 2015: Have you/your fiance contacted FB? To have these posts taken down as they are "defamation of character" posts?
I don't know IF FB will do a thing, but if they do well that would be good (it might not last) If they don't just CUT them off. Any frie... (read in full...)
What is the right/appropriate way of telling someone to clean up after themselves?
Q. The main question I have is What is the right/appropriate way of telling someone to clean up after themselves? Here's the background: My best friend and I are roommates in an apartment. We get along great, we help out with payments, we split...
A. 27 February 2015: Be a grown up. Sit her down, and tell her. I know it isn't nice to be the "clean police", but unless you talk to her, you will become the maid, and then you will REALLY start to resent her.
Tell her, hey I have noticed you don't like to load/unl... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of 3 years just now told me he had a child that was put up for adoption
Q. I feel so shocked and hurt that I don't know what to do or where to turn. I've been in my relationship for three years now. Recently we made a decision to come off birth control and start trying for a family. The decision came after I had a sc...
A. 27 February 2015: He should have told you. But he didn't. I dislike the fact that he "only" told you because he didn't want the EX to tell you IN CASE you got pregnant.
HE didn't lie about it, he hid it, buried it. Maybe because he felt/feels guilt. I still th... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's mother doesn't make food available for him
Q. Dear Cupid, My boyfriend and I are both 22 years old, we just finished university and have been looking for jobs. I managed to finally find one however my boyfriend is still looking and trying to find one. The problem is, I'm unsure of how to...
A. 27 February 2015: At 22, he should be able to get a job. Maybe not the JOB he wants, but one to HELP out his mother with bills and food. He is 22, not 12.
She isn't OBLIGATED to feed him, or put a roof over his head after 18. If she is a single mother, she no longe... (read in full...)
He called me stupid and fat.
Q. Me and my boyfriend have a long distance relationship. We've been dating two years, see each other over the weekends and communicate a lot by text. Today, my boyfriend was rude to me over the phone, basically hung up on me for no reason, and then ...
A. 27 February 2015: I would write him an e-mail - (because I think it might be easier for you to express HOW he made you feel in writing rather then talking to him)
I would tell him that if he continues to use you as his verbal punching bag that you need to walk awa... (read in full...)
I'm suspicious about my daughter and son relationship.
Q. I have a son, who is 19 and a daughter, who is 17. I'm suspicious of their relationship. I went through some tough divorces and I've been away for a couple of years but I wanted a father for my children and they had family friends watching over them ...
A. 27 February 2015: If you have been an absent mother, more focused on "getting them a dad" (which means a MAN for you).... I would not be surprised that your daughter resents you. It IS rare that a mother leaves her kids, it's even more rare that she leaves her kids ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend made several comments about another woman which hurt me but he said thats how guys talk
Q. I want some honest help as to whether im overreacting to something that happened this evening. I've been in a relationship for 3 years with this guy and he's helped me no end overcome some trust issues that were holding me back. I'm only his thi...
A. 26 February 2015: It might be how SOME guys talk. JERKS mainly, misogynistic jerks.
How disrespectful towards THAT woman, towards you and toward the friend's GF.
One thing is "locker room" talk. THAT crap needs to STAY in the locker room (that means when there... (read in full...)
Bondage and bringing it up to my partner?
Q. hello i always fantasized about bondage sex and now since i watched the 50 shades of grey movie it made me want it even more. how can i bring this subject to my partner? thank u ...
A. 26 February 2015: SVC
Don't bother reading the books (or see the movie) - it's not even sexy - it what some refer to as rape-culture/abuse "porn".
The only reason so many women found the main (male)character sexy was because he was filthy rich and handsome... ... (read in full...)
How can I recover from this, and be friends with him?
Q. There is this coworker of mine who I like. We work for a construction company. He's the warehouse manager and I'm a project manager. He's just a nice guy and we have good chemistry. I'm 22 and he's 37. A few weeks ago, I asked him out to lu...
A. 26 February 2015: I think you should STICK to a professional work relationship with this guy. chemistry or not.
I agree with Aidan, that you are a tad unreasonable. You cancelled on a WHIM (and that was OK), but he cancelled due to work (and you blew a gasket a... (read in full...)
I've reconnected with the ex but he's much different now. Will there be a rainbow after the storm?
Q. Hello and thanks I dated a guy 15 years ago and we reconnected. Our relationship was great back then we got along well, he was very good to me, and we loved eachother very much. He was kind, sweet and funny. WE were both young and we mutually deci...
A. 26 February 2015: Eh, I read your post and my first instinct was to YELL at you to run.. not walk away, but RUN.
He has traded ONE addiction (alcohol) for prescription pills - now he may CLAIM that he will only try them once, you know that isn't true.
The guy... (read in full...)
I had started to think he was the one but once he got comfortable he was disgusting
Q. I need an advice but deep in my heart, I feel that the impression is irreversible. I have met this guy through common friends. He is his mid 30s, handsome, a doctor, very smart, gentleman and generous person. 2 weeks after I met him we had sex, ...
A. 26 February 2015: I have to say, I have YET to met a guy who doesn't fart (that goes for women too, though most have the social grace to not want a high 5 afterwards), who doesn't burp (occasionally), who doesn't have any bad "habits"...
I think partly it has to d... (read in full...)
Is it too late to be friends with him?
Q. So I met this guy at work almost two years ago, we started talking more and we became friends. Then he started asking for pictures of me and asking questions and stuff, he had a girlfriend and two kids so I felt wrong about it. Eventually I actually ...
A. 26 February 2015: I would say yes, it's too late.
For several reasons.
1. you do not have very clear boundaries for yourself AT all. You "think" is would not be OK to send picture because he has a partner, YET you still did it. You had SEX with him even though ... (read in full...)
Is it too late to restart my life at 35?
Q. Do you think that at 34 (35 in 2 months) its too late to restart your life? I am living in a country that is not mine... With a man that I no longer love and can't stand him touching me... in a job that sucks... I just have this need to pack and...
A. 25 February 2015: I don't think it's EVER too late.
I would suggest though that you make a plan, not just "run" from what is not working right now.
You need to get all your ducks in a row.
That means;
1. you NEED to start saving up.
2. Leave the guy y... (read in full...)
Week of partying while telling me he's done with it all.
Q. Hi Aunts and Uncles ... Would anyone be ok with their 47 year old boyfriend of 3 Years going out 6 nights in one week. One night was with me, another was at a local pool hall , other nights were clubs. 2 of those nights were 6AM nights ! I ange...
A. 25 February 2015: Why are you wasting your time on this guy?
He goes out to party for a week straight and THAT is your fault? Seriously?
DO look at this actions, don't just listen to his "sweet" words he KNOWS exactly what to SAY to you to make you think he wan... (read in full...)
Why does he seem interested and then go distant?
Q. I met this guy online last year in April, we spoke for months as he worked away in the navy. When he got back we met in person and it went great and planned to meet again. Within a week he stopped talking and cancelled our next date. I didn't hear ...
A. 25 February 2015: It seems like you are dating either a yo-yo or a guy with more then one girl in each port.
I'd walk away now, if you are looking for something serious. Because HE isn't.
You are his GO-TO-girl when he is docked and have some time to kill.
... (read in full...)
Bondage and bringing it up to my partner?
Q. hello i always fantasized about bondage sex and now since i watched the 50 shades of grey movie it made me want it even more. how can i bring this subject to my partner? thank u ...
A. 25 February 2015: First of all, I would say EDUCATE yourself. DO not go by 50 Shades of shit. THAT crappy book/movie has NOTHING to do with bondage. Seriously. Anyways, had to get that out of the way...
Bondage is the idea of enjoying sexual gratification through ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and I are going to try swinging, will it work?
Q. My boyfriend and I have decided that are both going to try swinging, or whatever works for us. Not often, but sometimes .. maybe a few times a year if even. Anyway, we broke up last year for two months (something totally unrelated). Duri...
A. 25 February 2015: Just like we can't tell you if you are bisexual or "just" bi-curious - none of us can tell you that swinging will work.
Personally, I don't get it. But this isn't about me.
If you are BOTH interested and WANT to do it, set some ground rules.
... (read in full...)
Man I started talking to online won't stop sexting me! Opinions?
Q. Right, hi everyone. :) So I'm hoping to throw this out there and see if I'm overreacting. The other day I started chatting with a guy online and we seemed to hit it off. We exchanged numbers and the next day we decided - quite spontaneously...
A. 25 February 2015: I agree, Block him, delete his number - and IF he gets hold of you through another phone number tell him to STOP calling, that you are NOT interested and you will consider further contact from him HARASSMENT.
THIS IS NOT OK. His behavior is NOT O... (read in full...)
We were dating exclusively... then I found out he slept with someone else?????
Q. I've been dating a guy for a few months now. We said both agreed that we are seeing each other exclusively (as i don't like rushing into relationships but also liked him enough to only be interested in him) But I've just found out he slept with ...
A. 25 February 2015: He didn't LOVE you. He liked you, but not enough to NOT have sex with someone else given the chance. Like you said it was only a few months.
Waiting till you feel YOU the person before having sex, makes sense to me - If you are looking for a re... (read in full...)
How do you know when it's the right time to move in with your partner?
Q. Recently my boyfriend has mentioned me moving in with him, he wants me to and when he mentioned it I didn't think 'no it's too soon' or 'wow you're moving too fast' however I've mentioned it to a couple of friends and these were there responses. "...
A. 24 February 2015: I met my first BF at 19 - we dated for 6 months before we became intimate. I'd say we felt we knew each other quite a bit by them and 3 months later.. I moved into his apartment. And it worked out pretty well for 3 1/2 years.
It was some pretty d... (read in full...)
He chooses to masturbate while looking at pictures of women. Will this only get worse? What can I do?
Q. My partner of seven years just admitted to using pictures of females .. Not porn. Just pictures of their bodies so he can masturbate. So it's not the action of sex - it's strictly their boobs and butts he wants to see. My major concern is that ...
A. 24 February 2015: OP
To ME, a LOT of wanking is when he RATHER wank then be intimate with you. It might be different for you.
You can't really control HIS sexuality (yes wanking/masturbating is part of HIS sexuality). To use the kids or whatever, to try... (read in full...)
I found lip gloss in his car and I suspect he is cheating. Should I end it?
Q. I had a dream where my boyfriend told me "I'll always be your friend" and it was basically a break up. Lately, things have felt different and I do suspect another woman is in the picture. His behavior has changed and I found lipgloss in his car he ...
A. 24 February 2015: I don't think you can go by a dream alone.
Dreams are not reality, they are not forewarning or truths. They are your brains way of making sense of things you saw, heard, smelled and somehow dreams process these things and come up with some var... (read in full...)
My 18 year old daughter is sleeping with a 31 year old man. What do I do?
Q. My daughter is 18 and living and sleeping with a 31 year old man. In my heart I feel this is totally inappropriate. Her father is so upset. They got into a huge fight. Now I am in a deep state of depression. I don't see how my daughter believes that ...
A. 24 February 2015: She is 18, so legally an adult. And as a parent you can't really dictate whom they decide to love (or just) sleep with.
As a mother of 3 daughter, I feel your anger. Not towards your daughter, but towards the guy. A 13 year gap is HUGE at age 18. ... (read in full...)
He has too much baggage but I don't have the courage to break up with him!
Q. Well, I'm trying to put an end to my 6 month relationship but I'm having a bit of trouble. I can't quite figure out my feelings towards him. To briefly describe my relationship, I've always had second thoughts about us, but really wanted to try to m...
A. 24 February 2015: I think the BIGGEST reason you haven't dumped him yet, is because you don't want to be "mean" to him. The second biggest, is that you RATHER (and that is sad) date this LOSER than be alone.
So my suggestion, you two are not compatible. You have... (read in full...)
I don't think my wife should be communicating with an ex, she doesn't agree!
Q. My wife and I have been married for 10 years. Unfortunately I ignored her for much of that time and we drifted apart. We recently rekindled our marriage but I innocently found something on her Facebook. I went to log in to my Facebook but it was ...
A. 24 February 2015: Brown Wolf has a LOVELY suggestion, and I think you should think about what he said.
You say you two drifted apart, but rekindled later. That is an ONGOING process. Not a one time fix.
And Anon Male is correct too.
YOU had NO right to s... (read in full...)
They say my appearance is "exotic" I'd rather be ordinary
Q. So I'm 6'ft ,with very dark skin and slender Lately I've been given the title "exotic" by my friends and even by strangers I meet. I get told I'm beautiful and pretty and so on but every girl gets that. I never take these terms seriously becaus...
A. 24 February 2015: Exotic is good. I'd say VERY good even.
It means you stand out (in a good way) you are not average looking.
As for what guys want? Screw that.
Learn to appreciate that you are unique and in that sense... YOU are like everyone else.
D... (read in full...)
Advice for moving out of your parents' home on a low income?
Q. Hi. I would like some advice on how I can move out of my parents house. Id like to get out ASAP. My household is pretty dysfunctional. My parents always fight, my dad drinks, they both verbally abuse me and question my every move. My dad has tried ...
A. 24 February 2015: I think it's pretty common to reach a time/age where you want to be out on your own.
BUT you HAVE to be realistic about what you can afford. You mention sharing a condo... A condo is more the $800, I BET you. Then you have to add utilitie... (read in full...)
A three way kiss? Do I tell my Bf? He tends to hurt me when he gets mad.
Q. Ok so basically I have been with my boyfriend now for almost 3 years. We are happy enough, don't really feel butterflies that much any more but we do love each other and he cares about me dearly as I do him. We have fun together and he is my bes...
A. 24 February 2015: So you are just going to not tell him and IF he somehow learns about you will pull out the.. I was drunk excuse?
I think YOU need to have some boundaries for yourself. Maybe LOADS of 18 year old girls kiss people, IF THEY ARE SINGLE.. YOU are not.... (read in full...)
He chooses to masturbate while looking at pictures of women. Will this only get worse? What can I do?
Q. My partner of seven years just admitted to using pictures of females .. Not porn. Just pictures of their bodies so he can masturbate. So it's not the action of sex - it's strictly their boobs and butts he wants to see. My major concern is that ...
A. 24 February 2015: Looking at "new" pictures doesn't automatically means he will cheat. Doesn't mean SEX with you will get "old".
What it DOES mean, he might be wanking a LOT and needs CONSTANTLY new imagery in order to get off. To me that say, he HAS little t... (read in full...)
I contacted my girlfriend 7 times last week and she's still mad about lack of contact?
Q. I contacted my gf 7x last week but it wasn't good enough?? We've been together for 4 years. I'm 36 and she's 32. We usually spend our weekends together but due to work we don't see each other through the week that often so we rely on exchanging me...
A. 24 February 2015: This is why:
* I sent her a message telling her I loved her and would give her a call if I got a chance. I didn't get a chance. *
-----------
You HAD a chance. 5-10 minute call was not IMPOSSIBLE for you to do, you CHOSE not to. YOU made the... (read in full...)
Should I stay with my girlfriend of 6 years?
Q. Hi, I just wanted to get some advice on my relationship as probably I could do with it. I'm 33 and my girlfriend is five years younger than me. We have been going out for 6-7 years. I’m not sure if I should stay with her. When she has no problem ...
A. 24 February 2015: Honestly, I think you two grew apart a while back when she started befriending "Kat" and her cronies.
I do think you give "Kat" to much power and credit over your GF. She is an adult and RESPONSIBLE for HER own actions. She made the choice t... (read in full...)
Does the volume of semen a man ejaculates matter to a woman?
Q. I was talking with a female friend of mine and she called herself a "slug girl." I asked her what she meant by that and she said she she gets very wet when she gets turned on. She was quite embarrassed to admit that. However, I think most men thin...
A. 23 February 2015: Unless a woman is TRYING to get pregnant.. the volume of semen does NOTHING for a woman (at least not that I know of) honestly, if you are having condom-less sex ( I hope not) the smaller the amount of ejaculate the easier the "clean up".
You a... (read in full...)
The girl I am dating is going to have to move 9 hours away. How do I tell her I want to go too?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have just recently started dating a long time friend (known her two years, dated about a month). I have never been in love, but I feel more for this girl than I have anyone in my whole life. I'm 25 and she's 26 by the way. The prob...
A. 23 February 2015: I think before Anything you need to sit down and talk. Is it realistic for you to get a job there? Where will you live? And until you have a job HOW will you live?
It IS unrealistic to think SHE will financially take CARE of you, and LIVE with you... (read in full...)
I am unsure of the signals she gave after our second date
Q. Ok, so I had my 2nd date last night with a girl that I met on a dating app.. The 1st date was at a pub near her house and last night she came to mine, I put some nice cool easy listening to music on, lit candles and cooked for her. We talked from ...
A. 23 February 2015: I think Cindy hit a really GOOD point.
She might have thought ( he wants to get laid) when you suggested dinner at your house, but BEING that she IS a "good girl" and that she likes you - she still went. I think she was HOPING you wouldn't... (read in full...)
I havent had sex in 2 years . Will it hurt when I have it again?
Q. Dear cupid it been two years since I had sex with,and this is because my man is far away but he is coming by in three weeks time. I will like to know if it is going to be painful when we have sex again and is dere any possibility that I can become ...
A. 23 February 2015: Like WCA asked, did it hurt last time? If not, then most likely it won't, if it did the go slow.
And if you worry about pregnancy WHY aren't you getting on Birth control?
When you date someone TELL them to wear a condom AS well (regardless... (read in full...)
My boyfriend remains friends with a girl who froze me out. I am angry that he remains her friend
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for over a year now and met most of his friends, co-workers and even his bosses. One of his closest friend had a new gf who I kinda grew close with. I confided in her when things werent good between me and boyfriend, ...
A. 23 February 2015: I think you want to PUNISH her for not "picking" your side, and that is kind of pretty.
Your BF obviously regard her as a friend, she obviously regard HIM as a friend. You may not see any reason (personally, I don't see the NEED for them to stay ... (read in full...)
Do I swallow my pride and text him first?
Q. Up until last Friday I was dating a guy for nearly 2 month, I really liked him but on that friday he went on a night out with his ex , we argued and he said it was innocent they were only talking about something. But why not just speak over text or ...
A. 23 February 2015: I have to agree with SVC
I think they were on a "break" he met you and dated you. My guess is that they were STILL talking while he was dating you, and that SHE doesn't KNOW about you.
I think it's pretty skeevy to go out a night on the tow... (read in full...)
I am unsure of the signals she gave after our second date
Q. Ok, so I had my 2nd date last night with a girl that I met on a dating app.. The 1st date was at a pub near her house and last night she came to mine, I put some nice cool easy listening to music on, lit candles and cooked for her. We talked from ...
A. 23 February 2015: Ask her out again, and have the DATE in public. I think it's kind of bad taste to invite her over on second date - to me (as a woman) I would presume you are trying to get laid and I may not be comfortable about that on the SECOND date.
... (read in full...)
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