His "male banter" has me reconsidering moving in with him!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years we plan on living together next month. He gave me his phone to use a few days but he was so uncomfortable when I had it that I did something I shouldn`t have and looked at one of his messages from his ...
A. 16 February 2015: I am glad you poke to him OP
So many women would have "pretended" it didn't happen. And I'd tell him:" just because your friend is a ass doesn't mean YOU have to as well." ... (read in full...)
I have feelings for my girlfriend's married brother and I'm about to get married!
Q. I'm a guy who has feelings for my girlfriend's brother. He's married and I'm about to get married to. I purposed to my gf last month. I've had feelings for him before but since him and his wife moved out, it went away. However, it's starting to come ...
A. 11 February 2015: If you both still WANT to experiment - then DO so before marriage.
And OP, no one can just turn off their feelings. Life doesn't work that way. You need to consider what's really up here.... (read in full...)
Would it seem like I was pressuring him if I bought him a Valentine's day present? He is going away, without me, and will be away on Valentine's day.
Q. My boyfriend and I made it official last week but he has a trip booked to his friends birthday. That birthday happens to fall into Valentine's day weekend. He knows that I love Valentine's day, I was quite annoyed when he first told me and kept hin...
A. 11 February 2015: I would find a (not to expensive) CUTE little Valentine's present and a card. DO NOT go overboard, that can wait till next year .. or the year after .
... (read in full...)
Why are people so disapproving of age gap relationships?
Q. Never been in one myself but I can't understand why society is so disapproving of relationships with a big age gap. We can accept interracial couples, even same sex couples now, but not ones where a man and woman are two different ages?? There's n...
A. 11 February 2015: I'm not sure the perception is that age gaps are looked down on by society is that prevalent, unless the age gap is borderline illegal or .. just HUGE (like she is 19 and he is 90 - Anna Nicole anyone? Considering that "cougar" (elder woman/younger ... (read in full...)
I'm about to meet up with a guy from a dating site, but he has yet to send me a photo of himself. Should I be worried?
Q. I have been chatting to a guy online for a couple of weeks (from a dating site). We have arranged to meet up in a couple of weeks time but he seems to keep finding excuses not to send me a picture of himself. I'm not sure if I should be worried ...
A. 11 February 2015: I find it odd in this day and age that he doesn't have SEVERAL selfies that even HE approves off to send to you. To me that sounds bogus, if he says he can't send a picture. What guy in his 20's doesn't have a phone that can take pictures? HECK, I'm ... (read in full...)
Could my boyfriend have fathered a child with his married ex? What should I do?
Q. Hey guys, could really use some advice. So my boyfriend had an affair with this girl a few years ago, before he and I were dating. She was a girl he had dated in his 20's. But then she got married to someone else and they had slept together and...
A. 11 February 2015: Ah, thanks for the update OP
It makes a little more sense on the cheating part.
So you actually KNOW what he thinks of cheating and where you two stand. And THAT is a good thing. There are no safeguards for what she might/could/woul... (read in full...)
Should I start dressing like a frumpy mom?
Q. So, I am almost 35 and "look 18", according to my husband (and all the men at the office, ew). I apparently have an "innocent look", despite the fact that I wear makeup and don't go with the trends, I have my own distinct style. Thanks to my genes, ...
A. 11 February 2015: There is A HUGE difference between being compliments and being viewed as the OFFICE piece of meat.
THE co-workers doesn't NEED to compliment you, unless it about your work. When you are regarded at work for HOW you look and NOT your work performa... (read in full...)
My boyfriend talks about getting married but I have just found out he is cheating on me!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 7 months ...we have a great relationship and fantastic sex....his job means he has to work away recently I found out that he stayed in a hotel with his accountant I looked on his fone and discovered he hasn't been ...
A. 11 February 2015: Jeeez, why WASTE any more time on this guy?
You don't love HIM, you love the IDEA of him. The REAL him is a cheating scuzzball who for APPARENT reasons have already tried marriage (and failed) 4 times already.. guess what? I BET he cheated ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is very rough during oral sex and won't stop when I ask her to
Q. Hi i am in a relationship with my girlfriend, i love her, she is also taking care of me, we used have oral lesbian sex 3 times a week, but now i feel very uneasy when she does tongue tornado on my c*** it burns like hell when i say please stop she ...
A. 10 February 2015: When she starts on the "tongue tornado" put your leg together, get up and get dressed. EVERY time till she understands that you are NOT enjoying it.... (read in full...)
Should I start dressing like a frumpy mom?
Q. So, I am almost 35 and "look 18", according to my husband (and all the men at the office, ew). I apparently have an "innocent look", despite the fact that I wear makeup and don't go with the trends, I have my own distinct style. Thanks to my genes, ...
A. 10 February 2015: Do you WANT to dress frumpy? If not, I would tell them to GROW UP next time any of them mention how "young" you look and be firm that HOW you look is due to STELLAR genetic and has no bearing on your qualification, work input or anything else WORK ... (read in full...)
Should I have been tested for chlamydia?
Q. Hi all, I'd like some advice please. I am currently trying for a baby for a year and I have made an appointment with my OB gyne and my husband has already done a semen analysis, and we will find out the results at the appointment. Anyhow, I do a ...
A. 10 February 2015: Yes, get tested for chlamydia, but do a full STD panel with your OB/GYN - she most likely will suggest that anyways. To eliminate reasons why you haven't conceived yet.
Chlamydia CAN leave women infertile. My FAVORITE aunt had Chlamydia for year... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says that I have betrayed his trust because of a message on my social media
Q. I have been with my boyfriend over 3 years(I'm 29, he's 31) I work in health care and watch a client of mine at his house to make some extra cash. A man who lives at the house with the client and is around my age, we have developed a platonic ...
A. 10 February 2015: I agree with the VIOLATION of privacy. Which is why I stated he didn't trust you BEFORE this message. (or he wouldn't have "broken" into your FB account).
I still say I'd have him pick you up from work (maybe after a GOOD sit down and talk abo... (read in full...)
His "male banter" has me reconsidering moving in with him!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years we plan on living together next month. He gave me his phone to use a few days but he was so uncomfortable when I had it that I did something I shouldn`t have and looked at one of his messages from his ...
A. 10 February 2015: You know, I have NEVER understood the "woe is me I'm married" and the "ball and chain" when guys refer to their wives. I JUST don't get it. NO ONE HAS to be married (or dating) if they feel it's so LIMITING and HORRIBLE.
It might BE male banter. ... (read in full...)
Why are people so disapproving of age gap relationships?
Q. Never been in one myself but I can't understand why society is so disapproving of relationships with a big age gap. We can accept interracial couples, even same sex couples now, but not ones where a man and woman are two different ages?? There's n...
A. 10 February 2015: I think after 21 the age gap means less, after 30? not a whole lot.
But someone in their 30's dating a 16 year old... THAT is a age gap that really isn't fair. The power in the relationship is one sided, the life experiences is mostly one sided as... (read in full...)
I have feelings for my girlfriend's married brother and I'm about to get married!
Q. I'm a guy who has feelings for my girlfriend's brother. He's married and I'm about to get married to. I purposed to my gf last month. I've had feelings for him before but since him and his wife moved out, it went away. However, it's starting to come ...
A. 10 February 2015: I will concur. YOU CANNOT marry this girl. IT IS NOT fair on her to USE her like that.
YOU may not WANT to be bisexual, but you are. YOU got SUCH a hard on for the brother that you can't see straight. Every pun intended.
Can you IMAGINE how ... (read in full...)
He dropped me like a rag doll. Why, after I gave him some space? How should I react?
Q. ok, long story- When I was in a really bad place in my life I half stumbled across this guy, we went on a date "just for fun" as it was- he then made moves and made everything a lot more intense, he was the first one to say "I love you" he was the ...
A. 10 February 2015: I'm with YouWish ALL the way here.
The guy is a FLAKE. He supposedly fell out of love because you were on a 8 DAY vacation? Seriously? If that isn't a flake and a half, I don't know... Flakes are usually charming in the beginning then stop, be... (read in full...)
What strategy would be best to deal with my flirty boss? It has never gone beyond flirting.
Q. Hi dear aunts and uncles, I need your advice for a simple situation that I Am not sure how to handle it because of my lack of experince in situations like this due to my past life. I really apprecite your help. I worked with my boss for some...
A. 10 February 2015: Just keep ignoring his "attempts" of flirtations with you, honestly if it happens when/where you can "just" walk away ( like claim to be busy some where else) I'd stick to that. What makes the situation hard is that HE is the boss of your office, so ... (read in full...)
Pregnant from a one night stand and he has gone back to his ex!
Q. Hi all I need some none judgemental advice!I am 22 and recently had a one night stand with a guy I barely know and stupidly we didn't use protection I am on the pill but recently just switched. Anyway I am now pregnant and petrified and not even ...
A. 10 February 2015: Of course there is child support in the UK (it's called child maintenance) but I do believe it's a fair bit more complicated then in the US.
OP as hard as it is, YOU have to follow your heart, what nonny said - talk to someone WHO knows you (and... (read in full...)
I feel hurt and betrayed!
Q. I am a 50 plus year old female. I am feeling hurt and betrayed. One of my very best friends, as I've spoke about before in this forum is planning on moving. She claims I am the very best friend she has ever had in her life and I feel the same about ...
A. 10 February 2015: Well now you know, so NOW you CAN go look for a different less drama filled job.
Look for silver linings in life. This is one. Not that she is moving, but that you now KNOW she is moving so you can change job.
Most people are excited about mo... (read in full...)
I feel like his sex toy, not a girlfriend
Q. I have been dating someone but he keeps lying to me an making false promises to take me out but makes excuses as to why he cant keep promises an he only sees me on a night time but not through the day an he says he has to look after his son whos 11, ...
A. 10 February 2015: So DUMP him. He isn't going to change. He doesn't give a rats behind what you want and he RATHER not spend money ON you.
Sounds like a pretty crappy relationship anyways if you constantly break up and he constantly lies.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says that I have betrayed his trust because of a message on my social media
Q. I have been with my boyfriend over 3 years(I'm 29, he's 31) I work in health care and watch a client of mine at his house to make some extra cash. A man who lives at the house with the client and is around my age, we have developed a platonic ...
A. 10 February 2015: You BF doesn't trust. He didn't trust you before this happened either. Because ONE incident where a conversation taken out of context, should create THIS much drama.
However, have you told your BF about this guy? That you added him? That you talk... (read in full...)
Should I add him on Facebook? He's added everyone except me. Some claim he fancies me
Q. I know this is going to sound stupid and childish but... there is a guy who I go to uni with and he has added everyone from our classes apart from me. should I just add him? do you think he didn't add me because he doesn't like me ? ...
A. 10 February 2015: Amen to what WiseOwlE said.
Adding (or not adding) has NO bearing on his feelings.
TALK to the guy (not about FB) but TALK to him in school, get to know him as a person instead of all this (YES childish) speculations. Next you will want your f... (read in full...)
My boyfriends baby does not look like him?
Q. My boyfriend has a 1 year old baby. However, the baby looks NOTHING absolutely nothing like him. His parents and siblings have told him to do a DNA test and so have I. He said he would do one but does not take any steps on doing so. The mother of ...
A. 10 February 2015: Hmm, my guess is he doesn't WANT to know if the baby isn't his. He is in fact ENJOYING that he is a father. (that may or may not last...)
Does he know that the whole claiming paternity (if she CLAIMS him as father so she can get benefits and chil... (read in full...)
Could my boyfriend have fathered a child with his married ex? What should I do?
Q. Hey guys, could really use some advice. So my boyfriend had an affair with this girl a few years ago, before he and I were dating. She was a girl he had dated in his 20's. But then she got married to someone else and they had slept together and...
A. 10 February 2015: OK let's start with some genetics facts...
TWO brown eyes people (father and mother) CAN have a blue eyed child even though BROWN eyed genes are dominant. It depends on the grandparent's eye color too. There are approximately 15 genetic loci tha... (read in full...)
I've lost respect for my friend who's standards are, I find, different to mine. How should I respond to her revelations?
Q. okay this is my first question on here so we'll see how this goes. Okay, a night ago my friend was seeking advice on which guy she should date and how they were giving her mixed signals. (She trying to decide between one guy who is in it for sex but ...
A. 10 February 2015: You have YOUR set of values, she has hers.
The number of people you (general you) have slept with doesn't say ANYTHING about what kind of person she is. She CAN still BE a good person. Her view on SEX just differs from yours.
IF she was a ... (read in full...)
Why is my mother treating me like this?
Q. At the end of last year my parents suggested that I rent out my place for a couple of years so that I can stay in their holiday unit and pay cheap rent so that I can get ahead with my finances. My Mum came up to visit 2 days ago and things have ...
A. 10 February 2015: I would talk to your dad anyways. Ask him what HE thinks about all this.
It could also be that she felt uncomfortable with being in the same little place with her daughter and the GUY she has sex with, you know some parents don't like to think th... (read in full...)
Sometimes I just need a hug from my friend!
Q. It's like this...I have a male friend for about 12 years.We are very close and for all those years there isn't a day without phone call at least, he even sleeps at my house offen.The problem that i cant solve on my own is why he avoid any possible ...
A. 9 February 2015: Have you asked him?
Some people (1) are not touchy at all, some (2) only with people they know (that would be me) and some only with people they don't know well (3).
Maybe your friend is part 1 and 3 - maybe it's EASIER for him to be hands off ... (read in full...)
My wife gave her ex boyfriend better sex than she gives me!
Q. I have asked my wife for 10 years to do the same sex acts that she did with her ex boyfriend but she refuses. She had sex with him daily and with me 3 times a month. I feel hurt and inferior to him. Is it ok that she denies me but wanted to ...
A. 9 February 2015: So leave her? That IS an option, you know?
... (read in full...)
Pregnant from a one night stand and he has gone back to his ex!
Q. Hi all I need some none judgemental advice!I am 22 and recently had a one night stand with a guy I barely know and stupidly we didn't use protection I am on the pill but recently just switched. Anyway I am now pregnant and petrified and not even ...
A. 9 February 2015: Make the choice on your own, he won't be any help either way.
Should you tell him? Well, personally whether you decide to abort, adopt or have the baby - I'm always on the fence - on one hand I would tell him because HE needs to think more.
... (read in full...)
Why is my mother treating me like this?
Q. At the end of last year my parents suggested that I rent out my place for a couple of years so that I can stay in their holiday unit and pay cheap rent so that I can get ahead with my finances. My Mum came up to visit 2 days ago and things have ...
A. 9 February 2015: Time to move out.
You mom wants full control of you AND your spendings (in the sense that she wants you to pinch pennies). My guess is either your parents CARRIED you partly (financially) when you first moved out, and she thought lower rent wou... (read in full...)
I don't want to chase but I really like this man!
Q. Dear Aunts and Uncles, I met an amazing man on an online dating site, who coincidentally works in my office (we are both academics, same school, different departments). We had a coffee date last week and it was the best date ever! We had so ...
A. 9 February 2015: A week with nothing? I'm sorry to say, that doesn't sound like a guy who is interested.
To me the mentioning of the computer program seems like small talk, even it it came off as an open-ended invitation.
You COULD always ask him for another ... (read in full...)
I have a fear of being made a fool of and my behaviour is spiralling out of control!
Q. Help me! Some things I will tell you I am so ashamed of so please do not be too harsh on me. I need to figure out what kind of help I need. I have deep rooted trust issues, I have a fear of being made a fool of. I'm suspicious and paranoid. Hyperv...
A. 9 February 2015: You need to ask yourself, WHAT do you need FROM your BF in order to trust him again? Because right now, you don't trust him further then you can toss him. YOU two NEED to talk. And you NEED to verbalize your needs.
You have two issues in your pos... (read in full...)
She says I have lost her trust, I say she is being over dramatic!
Q. my girlfriend says I've lost her trust and she wants to end things but I think she's just being over dramatic and refusing to give me another chance. My old flame called me to say could we be friends again so I met her for a drink didn't tell my gf ...
A. 9 February 2015: The nonny who makes this issue about age, is missing the point of all the "older" aunties/uncles" by a light year.
It's NOT that you ABSOLUTELY can not EVER NEVER be friendly or talk to an ex, it's that you think sneaking around and lying is the w... (read in full...)
What should I make of this work conflict?
Q. I will try and keep this short and sweet :) I am currently working in an office environment, and I have been placed on a team which deals with complaints. The team I liase with tend to talk amongst themselves, they are a close knit clique of mainl...
A. 9 February 2015: I agree with WiseOwlE
YOUR priority should be doing your JOB and to at least TRY and work well with your team.
Making friends is fine, but I would limit the chatter to work related issues, if he and you want to chat further DO IT after work.
... (read in full...)
Why is my boyfriend worried I will find another man when he is gone on a trip?
Q. My boyfriend is going away for a month with his family next week. It is an annual trip. I went through one of these trips already where he was gone a month last May. He contacted me a lot while he was away and we really missed each other. We were so ...
A. 8 February 2015: So your BF is married with family? And he is WORRIED about YOU cheating..? Seriously? Talk about pot calling kettle black!
There IS nothing you can do to lessen his "worries". My guess is, he is doing this because it would be easier for him to N... (read in full...)
One minute she's all for me the next I get the cold shoulder.
Q. Been with my girlfriend for the past 3 years everything was fine, own house cars full time jobs and random weekends away. Recently we have both been under pressure with trust issues. I did something I regretted in the first month or two of our ...
A. 8 February 2015: If the reason YOU are in the hospital is due to issues with her, you really should consider that THIS is not a healthy relationship.
If I were you, I'd focus on myself for a while, let her do her thing. If you two live together, start by finding ... (read in full...)
After one year the sex is very infrequent
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for a little over a year. Everything in our relationship is perfect except for one thing. We barely are having sex and every time our relationship progresses he starts a fight and says this is why he doesn't have sex with ...
A. 8 February 2015: I don't think it's about YOUR insecurity, but his. Has there been times where he couldn't keep it up? Where he went limp?
It IS easier for him to BLAME you for the lack of sex. Saying that YOU aren't sexy enough ? The dumbest excuse I have eve... (read in full...)
How do I mention I am not happy with her work without ruining the friendship?
Q. I feel a bit awkward and need some advice please. I've been going to my beautician for the past 5 years, I go every month for waxing and facials and then 3-4 months for nails and other treatments and spend quite a bit of money there.I...
A. 8 February 2015: I would take my business elsewhere. That simple.
I think BECAUSE you two are friendly she is not putting in as much effort, because she thinks a "friend" wouldn't complain. And in my book, THAT is wrong.
If she asks, I would tell you feel li... (read in full...)
What do men think when the girl makes the first move? Is his silence the response?
Q. So if you live in a different country but kept in touch with a group of friends, one of whom, is a crush, in a group setting kind of thing on Facebook. You exchanged pleasantries with this guy and have tons of things in common, like finishing each ...
A. 8 February 2015: IS he single?
If he is not single, then maybe your "subtle admiration" felt awkward to him. And if you KNEW he wasn't single.. that "subtle admiration" was inappropriate.
Now I will PRESUME he is single, because I'd rather think you are ol... (read in full...)
One minute she's all for me the next I get the cold shoulder.
Q. Been with my girlfriend for the past 3 years everything was fine, own house cars full time jobs and random weekends away. Recently we have both been under pressure with trust issues. I did something I regretted in the first month or two of our ...
A. 8 February 2015: So she is using you mistake from the past to justify considering cheating with this co-worker?
Which means, she hasn't forgiven you for your past transgressions.
YOU two need to sit down and talk this though. WHY is she thinking it's OK... (read in full...)
Does his habit of disrespectful language mean the relationship is doomed?
Q. I have been seeing a guy for 3 months. He tells me he loves me, is caring and helps me out. He has been very romantic organising trips away and I genuinely believe he loves me. However he uses very inappropriate language and has a frankly vulgar...
A. 8 February 2015: No one gets to call me a whore or a bitch, not even for fun. But if this is a person who doesn't have English as their first language, there is a difference and I will tell you why.
I can say (I choose not to) ANY 4 letter word in English and it d... (read in full...)
At 54 is it too late to start over?
Q. My miserable boyfriend spends every weekend morning with his mother and weekend afternoons reading and napping. He refuses to travel, never shows affection, does little around the house and never suggests doing anything in term of leisure activity. ...
A. 8 February 2015: Nope, never too late.
My dad was 70 when my Mom passed away, and well he has a new GF now (it's been years) and while I'm SURE it's very different from what he had with my mom, they seem happy to have each other.
Don't STOP living your life... (read in full...)
She says I have lost her trust, I say she is being over dramatic!
Q. my girlfriend says I've lost her trust and she wants to end things but I think she's just being over dramatic and refusing to give me another chance. My old flame called me to say could we be friends again so I met her for a drink didn't tell my gf ...
A. 8 February 2015: She didn't misunderstand a darned thing.
I agree you were lying by omission and sneaking around. EVEN if the meet up was OH SO innocent, hiding it is not a good idea.
If you will lie about this what else will you lie about? Or "not tell" so YO... (read in full...)
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