Can some men be interested in just being nice and your friend?
Q. Can some men be interested in just being nice and your friend? I know a man from work and have became good friends with him over the past few months, he has also helped me out around the house. I have just moved into my first house myself, he helps ...
A. 15 February 2015: Personally, I would gradually decline spending time with him. I would also extend my social circle to people your OWN age.
Just be polite and professional at work.
Does he have kids? I was actually thinking that it COULD be "empty nest" thi... (read in full...)
How do I tell my boyfriend what I want?
Q. Hi (please no negative words) I've been with my boyfriend for 5 months now and things are amazing between us but....I want to give him head, want to sleep without underwear on, want to also bring him out of his "close the door and get dressed" thi...
A. 15 February 2015: Since you live with him AND his mom (which mean... you LIVE at his mom's house) - I don't think sleeping naked is entirely appropriate.
Why not get a cute little silk/satin baby doll number to sleep in?... (read in full...)
I know I'm his bootycall. What should I do?
Q. Hey, I'm writing, because I would like to get some help. Any help would much appreciated. Well, there is this guy I've known since October, and everything was going quite well. I then developed feelings for him, and I thought that he liked me t...
A. 14 February 2015: Midnight Shadow is correct - "booty call" mean a late night call for sex not just texting and chatting...
But your update talks about you "talking" to a guy who you are crushing on and who is 5 years older. IF you are 13-15 - he is 18-20 and shou... (read in full...)
I told him I don't think he loves me anymore and he told me to stop complaining.
Q. I have been married for 11 years. Marriage is ok, has ups and downs. Every Valentines Day my husband will buy beautiful red roses tall stemmed with baby breath. They are always given in a loving way, usually with a hug and kiss. This year he gave...
A. 14 February 2015: Awww WiseOwlE I love that story! You just made me all teary.
To OP.
I have been married for 17 year to maybe the most UNROMANTIC man on Earth - seriously. He thinks a steam-cleaner is a great gift, because? well, we needed one! Yea, not... (read in full...)
How do I tell my boyfriend what I want?
Q. Hi (please no negative words) I've been with my boyfriend for 5 months now and things are amazing between us but....I want to give him head, want to sleep without underwear on, want to also bring him out of his "close the door and get dressed" thi...
A. 14 February 2015: You should be able to talk to him about these things, if you can HAVE sex with a guy, you can open your mouth and express how you feel.
However, DO NOT bring the ex into the chat. The ex has nothing to do with your current relationship.
As for ... (read in full...)
What should I write in my valentine's day card for my boyfried?
Q. I'm not sure what to write inside my boyfriends valentines day card. We were together 10 years have two kids together, had some major disagreements we split up for a year now we are trying to work everything out. I don't want to give him a plain ...
A. 14 February 2015: That has to come from you. Not stranger on the Internet - or you might as well have bought a Hallmark card.
At least.. that is my two cents.... (read in full...)
Is it OK to buy someone a birthday trip if we can't cover the full cost?
Q. Hi guys, I just want your opinion on a birthday gift. I'm hoping for a parents opinion if possible! I'm 21 and my sister is 19, our father will be 50 in march. My father has a good/well paid job and my mother also works. They have a large amount...
A. 14 February 2015: I think the idea is great. BUT I also think you should listen to your mom. Your Mom is probably the person who knows your Dad the best. Talk to her on how to work it out so he CAN/WILL go.
Instead of sending him to Italy is there a game closer t... (read in full...)
Does it sound like he's cheating, or at least flirting with someone else?
Q. Things my boyfriend, of 4.5 years, does sometimes confuses the hell out of me and makes me paranoid. Example 1: (stupid really but here goes): he posted on my facebook timeline earlier "sexy you are yes". It's so random that it made me think he got ...
A. 14 February 2015: I agree - total Yoda.
Though my guess is you either haven't seen StarWars or isn't a fan, so it seems like a bad choice for a quote.... (read in full...)
Why did he ignore the fact I saw his wife, I am confused!
Q. I am married and have a good male friend who is married. we email probably 3 times a week. I told him I visited with his wife today plus other info. and he totally ignored the fact I saw her, We're all friends so I just don't get that. ...
A. 14 February 2015: I agree, that he already heard it from his wife and it wasn't something he felt he had to discuss with you.
Why is this a big deal for you?
... (read in full...)
How Can I Lose My Virginity
Q. I'm 25 years old and I'm still a male virgin. I've never even kissed a girl and I've never even been on a date. Since girls probably prefer a guy who knows what he's doing, how can I lose my virginity? Do I lie about it? ...
A. 14 February 2015: You got to start somewhere, correct?
To ASSume that all women wants a guy who knows what he is doing is right. However,a guy can have had sex with 50 women and STILL NOT know how to rock a woman's world. A guy can have sex once (or never) and do a... (read in full...)
Met online, set up date to meet and he doesn't show. Is he blowing me off?
Q. Hi thanks for reading. I meet this guy on pof and been talking and we finally set a date to meet up. The day came and went because I tried to confirm with him heard no reply. Asked if everything was ok no reply till a week later. Then he messaged...
A. 14 February 2015: Why do you presume YOU did something wrong?
HE chose to "ignore" you for a week, then chat then back to ignore... HOW is that YOUR fault? He set up a met, but "vanish" and then no apology, nothing.... HOW is that YOUR fault?
Ignore him ba... (read in full...)
How can I deal with this bully at work in a mostly male environment?
Q. Hi Everyone, I have a co-worker that is well liked by everyone but for me he is a bully and rude. He has no respect for women comments he has made about women acting helpless or women should pay their fair share on dates and in life. He will see...
A. 14 February 2015: Every time he gets a reaction from you he feels like he "won" so for me I would ignore him, if he says something lame and misogynistic - just roll your eyes and IGNORE.
He thinks by putting down women (and you) HE is a better man. It's really s... (read in full...)
Do I reach out to my abusive ex because his dad died?
Q. I dated a guy for over a year when I was 17 and he turned out to be fairly abusive (nothing physical but verbal abuse and manipulation as well as cheating). After I broke up with him, things went majorly downhill: he told people horrible lies about ...
A. 14 February 2015: I wouldn't call him. I'm sorry his dad died. You are sorry that his dad died. It's pretty normal to feel a sense of compassion.
IF you reach out, you open a door that you may not want to have HIM walk through.
... (read in full...)
Can some men be interested in just being nice and your friend?
Q. Can some men be interested in just being nice and your friend? I know a man from work and have became good friends with him over the past few months, he has also helped me out around the house. I have just moved into my first house myself, he helps ...
A. 13 February 2015:
The dinner idea is PRETTY good way for YOU to gauge what he really thinks.
It is very possible to have male friends. When these males a married OR in a relationship it is ALWAYS wise to get to know the partner/wife.
Personally, I wou... (read in full...)
Do I try to pursue a relationship with this friend?
Q. So my friend and I have been friends for a long time. 3 years ago we ended up sleeping with each other and after that we went on dates shortly after we just decided on being friend (just cause I didn't want anything serious at the moment, got out of ...
A. 13 February 2015: Nope.
Could be she is "just" looking for another male to "take care" of her.
Either way, in 3 years you two have only hooked up under the influence of alcohol. And now that she is not in a good spot (I'd call living with an ex because she can'... (read in full...)
I let myself go and am not quite sure how to get myself back together?
Q. I just turned 21 and I've seriously let myself go. Basically I was abused and it got really bad when I was 17. The person is no longer able to hurt me and I've been to counselling but I sort of regressed into a frightened shell of a person and ...
A. 13 February 2015: What you did was a defense mechanism.
If you were dirty and unattractive (in YOUR eyes) you would hopefully no longer be a target (or HIS target). IT was your camouflage for years.
Now that your abuser can no longer harm you, you feel it's ti... (read in full...)
I get a tingly feeling when I see a naked woman but nothing when I see a naked man. Am I gay?
Q. I really do not want to ask this question cos I am disgusted by it but it is the truth and has left me pondering if I have any interests in women. I get a tingly feeling down there when I see a females breast but am indifferent if i see a naked man. ...
A. 13 February 2015: I agree with YouWish - don't worry about labels. They are NOT important in life.
Women's bodies are glorious. (personally, I think men's are too) but being aroused or attracted to a piece of art or a picture doesn't DICTATE your "sexual preferen... (read in full...)
My Boyfriend Thinks I'm Faking Orgasm's!
Q. My boyfriend thinks I'm faking orgasm's! We have been together for just over a year and I have never faked an orgasm with him. I don't even think I would be very good at faking one! First of all, why does he think that? My downstairs tenses and ...
A. 13 February 2015: My guess is, your BOY has been watching too much porn. He thinks the "orgasms" FEMALE porn stars CONSTANTLY FAKE is the real deal. That EVERY woman orgasms the same way - WE don't. Just like some women are quiet in bed, some yell and scream, moan ... (read in full...)
Should I take her back if she wants me to?
Q. My girlfriend broke up with me because she wanted to do stuff with other people without having to answer to me and that she doesn't want the title of "girlfriend".And we've been dating for 6 months and I saw a message on her facebook to her ...
A. 13 February 2015: No, NO, no!
She isn't a very nice person. Why date someone WHO really doesn't WANT to be with you? And who you KNOW is with you for all the wrong reasons. Like pity and boredom.
Remove her from your FB and yourself from hers, CUT the contact,... (read in full...)
Should I keep sending this guy I just met a photo of me everyday?
Q. Hello I am a female and I really need help cause I feel lost. I met a guy one week ago. We spoke and he was very charming and funy. We had so much laughter the night we met. He asked me for my number and I gave it to him. It was Saturday the day I ...
A. 13 February 2015: Brown Wolf has a VERY good point.
PATIENCE!
You think the MORE you text the better you know him, it's not entirely correct. THE more TIME you SPEND together face to face the BETTER the chance of getting to know a person. Texting is for M... (read in full...)
Had a massive and intense sleep orgasm. Should I worry?
Q. Okay, this is the first time I've actually BEEN an OP, but something happened a couple of days ago that I'm wondering if it's normal or not. I'm not complaining about it, but it's never happened to me before in my life. Background - I...
A. 13 February 2015: I think it's the female version of men's wet dreams. Why wouldn't woman have them too?
I have them and honestly while they aren't very common they are way stronger than any I have had with a partner. And yes it IS weird to wake up to one. But I ha... (read in full...)
I'm a classic introvert, have friends but often turn down or regret going to do things with them. Is there something wrong with me?
Q. Hi all, This is not relationship related, but a personality related question. I am an artist and a classic introvert. I love interacting genuinely getting to know people in the hope to learn something from them.. I don't do well in groups...
A. 13 February 2015: MAKE yourself do group events at least 2 times a month. Even if it's NOT what you really want. LEARN to be part of a group as well as a good friend 1-on-1.
IT will do you good. I have always had a large group of friends, yet I truly hate big grou... (read in full...)
Am I being selfish when I feel that he's too clingy when perhaps he is being concerned and serious about me?
Q. Hello everyone! I'm 21 and before I left to study abroad (6 month exchange program) I was seeing someone (let's call him B) exclusively for about a month. I did not get into an official relationship with him because I felt that it was difficult to ...
A. 13 February 2015: I agree with Auntie Bim Bim
Cut the contact to morning text and later in the day. TWO texts a day should be enough.
I agree it's a HUGE red flag to want to marry a "virtual" stranger - after a month you are still a stranger.
And he isn't be... (read in full...)
Was my husband being inconsiderate?
Q. I have an question. I want to know if my husband was being inconsiderate or am i just tripping. Since yesterday i have been battling a major toothache where as my jaw is swollen and half my tooth is gone. All day yesterday i stayed in bed due to the ...
A. 13 February 2015: Welcome back Cindy!... (read in full...)
Was my husband being inconsiderate?
Q. I have an question. I want to know if my husband was being inconsiderate or am i just tripping. Since yesterday i have been battling a major toothache where as my jaw is swollen and half my tooth is gone. All day yesterday i stayed in bed due to the ...
A. 12 February 2015: Wow, yes he was MAJORLY inconsiderate.
Have you been to see a dentist?... (read in full...)
Does anyone else have this issue where your significant other confuses you with what experiences he had in the past with his ex-wife or ex-girlfriends
Q. I've been engaged to my fiance for three years. He is divorced with grown children. He is always getting past events from his life mixed up with our current ones. One day he turned to me and asked How long has it been since we went to this st...
A. 12 February 2015: I really can't diagnose him, like a doctor would, but... to me it sort of sounds like early onset of Alzheimer?
Forgetfulness, can't keep memories in the right order?
http://www.al... (read in full...)
My step-mother seems to think what's mine is hers
Q. Hi I need some advice. Ive recently moved in with my dad, he has redecorated the small bedroom for me while he has been redecorating I have been sharing a room with mu little sister and all of my belongings haven't had a place and have been scattere...
A. 12 February 2015: Get a lock on your door or a footlocker with a lock. Don't leave stuff all over the house. She is playing the "finder's keeper" game with you. Either #1 to make you PICK your stuff up and not leave it all over the house, OR #2 she is a klepto.
... (read in full...)
I'm 31, alone, I spent almost two years trying to move on but my ex is happy in a new relationship.
Q. It's been 2 years after my ex broke up with me.I was desperate and decided to move overseas and started a new life. My ex who has been in a relationship with someone else for at least 1 and 1/2 years contacted me a couple of times after I left home, ...
A. 12 February 2015: 1. STOP looking at his Facebook, you know it isn't helpful.
2. DEAL with whatever is going on with you, be it depression or lack of social life.
3. ACCEPT that he has moved on. It's not up to you to decide if he "deserves" happiness or not... (read in full...)
Should we allow my mother in law to babysit our very young child while our m I l appears to be drinking alcohol to get drunk regularly?
Q. I think my mother in law drinks (commercial product/mouth wash) to get that drunk feeling instead of wine. My m.i.l. babysits my 6 month old baby, and she always had a drinking problem, she drinks wine everyday, until we asked her to stop because ...
A. 12 February 2015: No, find a babysitter you can trust. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend says I should now plan Valentine's?
Q. I just got a new job, which is great but it does now mean I'll be working on the weekend. My boyfriend had asked me to keep Valentine's day free, I said I would, but I need this job and the money because of personal reasons. My boyfriend now sa...
A. 12 February 2015: I agree!
Congrats on the new job! That is awesome!
I think it's a shame that he doesn't understand how important having a job is to you. And that is IS using it as a cop out. How does you having to work equate that you have to do the planning?... (read in full...)
She insisted on condoms but should I still get checked out?
Q. I had a fling with a girl ssix months ago, and we only had sex three times. We always used a condom, she was very insistent on this and even had them with her. Lately ive learned she has a bad reputation and has slept with a lot of people. I am ...
A. 12 February 2015: You can still get a STD/STI while using a condom, but the chance are lower. Unfortunately things like HPV you can not test for in men, unless they have an outbreak (such as genital warts). And HPV you CAN get from skin contact/oral.
If you are ... (read in full...)
3 years, 3 visits in LDR and we have never had sex yet she always talks about it when we aren't together!
Q. Hi guys I just want some advice as to what is right. i've been in a long distance relationship for 3 years. She was studying in the USA at my uni and we grew very close and decided to start dating just as she went home again, in the hope she...
A. 12 February 2015: Go visit her and regard it as a fond farewell.
A LDR is not supposed to drag out, the GOAL of an LDR is to make the LDR into a relationship with two people BEING together in the SAME geographical location.
Right now, I see nothing abut pla... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm always in the background when my boyfriend's son stays over
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year now. When his 8 year old son comes over he and his son sleep out in the living room. As of right now we only have a one bedroom place. His son gets to come over every other weekend.I feel bad but it ...
A. 12 February 2015: I'd suggest you GIVE your BF some space when he has his son coming over so they GET some father/son time - it's PRETTY important for both your BF and his son. Now you say your BF feels like if you DO that you don't want to be with him & the son, but ... (read in full...)
Ladies is she snding mixed signals, uninterested, or am I overthinking?
Q. Soooo I recently "reconnected" with an old friend. After friendly conversation about the past and how things were going we moved into currently relationship statuses. Once I disclosed that I was single and looking she replied with we will chat ...
A. 12 February 2015: She asked you to jump and you told her no can do.
I see this being her thinking YOU contacted her because you are lonely and single, she... might just be playing games. Maybe she just doesn't want to seem to keen or desperate and thus holding ... (read in full...)
Gift suggestions please to bring happiness to my girl. She loves painting fabric and canvas painting.
Q. My girl is into painting and she does a lot of cloth/canvas painting. I wanted to gift her something classy to help pursue her hobby. Any suggestions? I will have to send it through some online store serving the US as I am out of the country....
A. 11 February 2015: As a painter myself, I agree brushes are LOVELY. Good quality ones. (when buying for one-self painters often buy the cheaper ones so getting some REALLY nice ones is a luxury!)
Painting knives are also nice.
Sketch books are always in demand... (read in full...)
Did the new girl's attention make me realize the relationship that I'm in is bad?
Q. Hi, My name's Dirk, I'm going on 24 next week and I'm in a bit of a pickle. A bit of background story: I have a bad relationship with my parents, have had a decent if not awesome relationship with my girlfriend, Sarah for 4 years no...
A. 11 February 2015: I have to agree with YouWish
You are so full of it. It's your GF's FAULT that you feel attraction to another girl? Because you GF doesn't SUFFICIENTLY cater to you and your whims?
Let me guess, you have been telling her ALL about the "lovel... (read in full...)
I have feelings for my girlfriend's married brother and I'm about to get married!
Q. I'm a guy who has feelings for my girlfriend's brother. He's married and I'm about to get married to. I purposed to my gf last month. I've had feelings for him before but since him and his wife moved out, it went away. However, it's starting to come ...
A. 11 February 2015: If you both still WANT to experiment - then DO so before marriage.
And OP, no one can just turn off their feelings. Life doesn't work that way. You need to consider what's really up here.... (read in full...)
My brother in law came on to me when I was a teen. Now family wants me to forgive and forget. What should I do?
Q. Years ago when I was 15 I went on a cruise with my older sister and her husband. After a night of drinking and partying my sisters husband escorted me back to my cabin and started making sexual advances toward me. I told my mom and dad and ...
A. 11 February 2015: is this related to his post?
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-can-i-go-on-with-a-relationship.html
... (read in full...)
Is yelling a big red flag or not a big deal?
Q. I need some opinions on whether I should be worried about this behavior. I will keep it as brief as possible. My bf and I have been dating for a year and a half. The other night we had an argument. I was calmly speaking the entire time, I'm not on...
A. 11 February 2015: You antagonized and pushed him - he blew up.
YOU both behaved "bad" -which is not uncommon when people fight "dirty". People who fight CHOOSES to "fight" instead of communicate. It's kind of primal.
Even IF you were "sounding calm" you kept s... (read in full...)
2 years of crazy and we're only teenagers! what should I do?
Q. What should I do? Me and my boyfriend been together for 2 years now. At first, everything was fantastic. Like fairytales, lovey-Dovey for the first year. Second year, things changed. We became more busy, and I have a very busy life compared to his, ...
A. 11 February 2015: Honey, first of all - you did NOT deserve to be raped. NO ONES does. The fact that someone calling himself YOUR BOYFRIEND tells you that you DESERVE that... should IMMEDIATELY tell you something is wrong -WITH HIM.
Break up, CUT the contact ... (read in full...)
Online guy deleted me from tinder because I didn't respond in 12 hours???
Q. I had been talking to this guy on tinder for a week and we got along really well and were exchanging messages night and day. He recently moved here from out of the country for a job so he did not have a car yet and was living at his sisters place. I ...
A. 11 February 2015: It really IS good riddance to him. 12 hours with not a reply and he gets so butt-hurt he deletes you... yea, not a keeper - after all you have to sleep, and HAVE a life, not sit around with bated breath for his messages.
Don't take it as you "was... (read in full...)
He ends his relationship with me, for no apparent reason, and then chooses to resume things. What should I do ? It's affecting my self esteem
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for over a year and every now and then he would end the relationship with me, for no apparent reason then a few hours or a day or so later he would call me and carry on like nothing has happened. I have tried to explain ...
A. 11 February 2015: Well,either NEXT time ( I'm sure that won't be a long time from now) he dumps you, BLOCK his number, delete his number and unfriend/block/remove him from social websites.
OR.... YOU pick up the phone and tell him, I'm done dating a yo-yo like you... (read in full...)
Would it seem like I was pressuring him if I bought him a Valentine's day present? He is going away, without me, and will be away on Valentine's day.
Q. My boyfriend and I made it official last week but he has a trip booked to his friends birthday. That birthday happens to fall into Valentine's day weekend. He knows that I love Valentine's day, I was quite annoyed when he first told me and kept hin...
A. 11 February 2015: I would find a (not to expensive) CUTE little Valentine's present and a card. DO NOT go overboard, that can wait till next year .. or the year after .
... (read in full...)
I have feelings for my girlfriend's married brother and I'm about to get married!
Q. I'm a guy who has feelings for my girlfriend's brother. He's married and I'm about to get married to. I purposed to my gf last month. I've had feelings for him before but since him and his wife moved out, it went away. However, it's starting to come ...
A. 10 February 2015: I will concur. YOU CANNOT marry this girl. IT IS NOT fair on her to USE her like that.
YOU may not WANT to be bisexual, but you are. YOU got SUCH a hard on for the brother that you can't see straight. Every pun intended.
Can you IMAGINE how ... (read in full...)
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