He says he loves me, but why does he still check his online dating profiles?
Q. I met this amazing guy on an online dating site about 7 months ago. When we first met, we agreed to keep things casual since we were both at pretty unstable points in our lives. But we quickly fell for each other and decided to be exclusive. He r...
A. 19 March 2015: Good for you for talking to him. Communication is VITAL for a good relationship. Don't ever be "scared" of bringing up a topic that is on your mind. The NOT knowing can make little thinks get blown out of proportions.
Good luck :)... (read in full...)
Why do I care so much about girls noticing me? As soon as I stop caring a girl will notice me then I get too happy and go back to square one!
Q. Whenever I'm at school I'm always hoping for a girl to see me and think "Hmmmm I wonder who that is" and just want to talk to me. I'm always hoping some girl will see me and think I'm cute (To be honest I'm average looking-to cute to some people). ...
A. 18 March 2015: Nah, what I said is GIRLS are more subtle when alone - in groups they might actually point out a cute guy and rate him, honey.. I'm BEEN a girl, I know how we act and think.
I think you need to work your social skills, not be so busy worrying... (read in full...)
Two months and not over it?
Q. Its been two months so why am I not over it? I was fine until this month, he cheated and left he didn't even apologize. So why am I still sad? We go to the same school....
A. 18 March 2015: So it's time to make new friends - how about some females one?... (read in full...)
How can I tell my mother in law that I am not ready to forgive her behaviour?
Q. Hey everyone. Back in December, i wrote on here for advice on dealing with my insensitive, mother in law. Basically, she said some really cruel things to me regarding me infertility struggle. She told me to "hurry the f@*k up to have a baby because ...
A. 18 March 2015: I'd be taking THAT week-end off to visit family or friends. And I would SIT hubby down and tell him EXACTLY how you feel.
He should NOT have invited HIS mother without asking you. Specially not after all the crap she gave you beforehand. HE needs... (read in full...)
Should I just ask him where we stand, or would that push him away entirely?
Q. I'm still confused, and I'm starting to think that this guy I used to date now only sees me as friend. There has been a change in the physical/ sexual part of our relationship, but nothing else has changed. He's not seeing anyone else, and he said ...
A. 18 March 2015: Be honest with yourself AND him.
Ask him, you know we have been doing this "I'm not sure what it is" thing for a while because you said you weren't looking for a relationship, but I am, so I want to know where we stand. Are we dating or f-buddie... (read in full...)
Two months and not over it?
Q. Its been two months so why am I not over it? I was fine until this month, he cheated and left he didn't even apologize. So why am I still sad? We go to the same school....
A. 18 March 2015: There is no expiration date on a broken heart or hurt feelings.
Him NOT owning up and apologizing is NOT a reflection on you. You didn't MAKE him cheat. HE chose to cheat.
Seeing him on an almost daily basis can make it harder to move on too. ... (read in full...)
He says he loves me, but why does he still check his online dating profiles?
Q. I met this amazing guy on an online dating site about 7 months ago. When we first met, we agreed to keep things casual since we were both at pretty unstable points in our lives. But we quickly fell for each other and decided to be exclusive. He r...
A. 18 March 2015: Are you still "casual", yet exclusive? IF you are, he can do what he wants (and so can you).
If you WANT an exclusive relationship - tell him and suggest you BOTH take all dating profiles down (if he agrees).
If you are a couple, as in BF... (read in full...)
Lazy or uninterested?
Q. Are some men just lazy communicators (text, phone) rather than 'not interested'? If so, does this make them emotionally unavailable or just lazy? How does a woman bring this up with a man in the early stages of dating without looking like a clingi...
A. 18 March 2015: I don't text much at all. It might be a "honey, pick up milk and green peppers on the way home". I don't carry on conversations over text. EVER.
That doesn't make me lazy.
I also DO NOT call my husband while he is a work, unless there is ... (read in full...)
It was not my kid but I lost my girlfriend over it anyway. I'd like to get her back but am worried she'll take me to court!
Q. I cheated on my girlfriend with this skank from work that everybody slept with. She knew I had a girlfriend I loved and it was just sex. She wanted me to be with her but that would never happen. She told me she was pregnant and my world ended. My ...
A. 18 March 2015: 1. She is NOT your GF, she is your EX GF.
2. She dumped you.
3. You NEED to understand that when your EX GF says, DO NOT CONTACT ME, you NEED to respect her and what she is saying.
NO MEANS NO. And when you DO NOT respect a NO it's CONSID... (read in full...)
Can I be pregnant while on the pill and having regular periods?
Q. Last week my friend's sister found out she was pregnant and the baby would be born is two weeks. She never had any symptoms or a "typical pregnancy belly". Also she never missed a period,even though they were very irregular. Now I'm scared that thi...
A. 18 March 2015: Yes, you can be.
I was on BC (the pill) and got pregnant and still had my "periods" throughout the pregnancy.
But it's not common. Not if you have taken the pill as you are supposed to, and haven't gotten any meds that can conflict with th... (read in full...)
How do I manage their conflicting expectations?
Q. I have been married for a year and I am still in school. My mother is still paying for my tuition and not my husband. My mother does not want me to get pregnant because she wants me to graduate then work to build my future so I can be comfortable. ...
A. 18 March 2015: I don't think it's your husband's CHOICE to decide WHEN it's time for you to get pregnant.
You write that you don't KNOW how you feel about it, which leads me to think you are NOT ready. Even if you wake up some days thinking UH baby! And the next... (read in full...)
Why do I care so much about girls noticing me? As soon as I stop caring a girl will notice me then I get too happy and go back to square one!
Q. Whenever I'm at school I'm always hoping for a girl to see me and think "Hmmmm I wonder who that is" and just want to talk to me. I'm always hoping some girl will see me and think I'm cute (To be honest I'm average looking-to cute to some people). ...
A. 18 March 2015: I agree with Sage, you are WAY over-thinking this.
Yes, you should TRY (because in the beginning you will find that hard) to ignore whether they look and/or give you a 1 or 10. It doesn't matter. (I'm serious).
Can they tell you are insecure... (read in full...)
Love, baby daddy drama, a blossoming friendship! What do I do?
Q. OK so weve started out as friends I'm 23 she's 21. She does have 2 kids and a baby daddy they're kind of falling out lately he's kind of abusive, verbal, physical etc.lately we've been hanging out and she's been hugging me alot. Sitting closer to ...
A. 17 March 2015: I'm sorry, OP I FULLY agree with WiseOwlE and SVC.
You have seen NOTHING yet of her bi-polar episodes. She is 21? with 2 kids? And a baby-daddy who is abusive but STILL in the picture?
It's MORE drama than ANYONE your age needs. Heck even... (read in full...)
It was not my kid but I lost my girlfriend over it anyway. I'd like to get her back but am worried she'll take me to court!
Q. I cheated on my girlfriend with this skank from work that everybody slept with. She knew I had a girlfriend I loved and it was just sex. She wanted me to be with her but that would never happen. She told me she was pregnant and my world ended. My ...
A. 17 March 2015: You know, you can call this co-worker SKANK and whatever else you want, but you, MISTER are the ONE who CHEATED on your GF. The co-worker is NOT responsible for YOUR cheating or YOU losing your GF.
You were a cheater who had UNPROTECTED SEX with... (read in full...)
I asked him if he'd like to have a drink sometime. His answer has me wondering what to do next!
Q. Hi I am in need of some advice. There is a guy on my sports team who when we first met I kept catching him glancing over to me and when our eyes met we would smile and look away shyly. This happened over several months. We started talking more and ...
A. 17 March 2015: Could be he just had a fight with the GF, and he was venting, that is WHY he retracted his "statement" and apologized to you and in a way to his GF. Because he DID sorta talk smack about her and he know he came off a dick of a BF.
Just ignore t... (read in full...)
Why do I care so much about girls noticing me? As soon as I stop caring a girl will notice me then I get too happy and go back to square one!
Q. Whenever I'm at school I'm always hoping for a girl to see me and think "Hmmmm I wonder who that is" and just want to talk to me. I'm always hoping some girl will see me and think I'm cute (To be honest I'm average looking-to cute to some people). ...
A. 17 March 2015: **Am I not allowed to have insecurities because I'm a guy?**
Of course you are! All people are insecure about themselves. Some more then others, but you END you ORIGINAL post with the question:" What is wrong with girls?" TO me that sounds l... (read in full...)
He's inexperienced in the art of oral, any tips or tricks to help it be amazing for me?
Q. Hi there, I am in a long distance relationship and so on the rare occasion we see each other, we want to make the sex as good as we can! I have only recently started to enjoy him going down on my but he is still inexperienced. Has anyone got some ...
A. 17 March 2015: The Mystery of the Undercover Clitoris: Orgasmic Fingertip Touching Every Woman Craves Paperback – by Dr. Sadie Allison
Get that book and let him read it.
Dr. Sadie also wrote a VERY good guide on how to please a guy. (Tickle his pickle)
T... (read in full...)
Why do I care so much about girls noticing me? As soon as I stop caring a girl will notice me then I get too happy and go back to square one!
Q. Whenever I'm at school I'm always hoping for a girl to see me and think "Hmmmm I wonder who that is" and just want to talk to me. I'm always hoping some girl will see me and think I'm cute (To be honest I'm average looking-to cute to some people). ...
A. 17 March 2015: As a woman how can I NOT be irritated when a guy makes this the "girls" fault?
This ISN'T about the girls, this is HIS insecurities bleeding through his actions and behaviors.
Girls/women are NOT on this Earth to stoke guys egos.
Maybe y... (read in full...)
Broke up recently. Have I lost the love of my life? How do I get over this?
Q. I broke up with my ex a month or two ago and recently I've been feeling very sad and melancholy. She was only girlfriend I ever had who I could see myself seriously marrying. We would look at houses and discuss what our kids would look like. She's ...
A. 17 March 2015: I agree that you need to STOP.
STOP slaking her social pages, STOP calling/texting her - best bet would be to BLOCK her number and delete her info in your phone.
Secondly, WANTING to cling on to a person you were with for for a longer time is n... (read in full...)
Why do I care so much about girls noticing me? As soon as I stop caring a girl will notice me then I get too happy and go back to square one!
Q. Whenever I'm at school I'm always hoping for a girl to see me and think "Hmmmm I wonder who that is" and just want to talk to me. I'm always hoping some girl will see me and think I'm cute (To be honest I'm average looking-to cute to some people). ...
A. 17 March 2015: What is wrong with girls?
SERIOUSLY?
It's GIRLS fault? For what not noticing you or only occasionally noticing you?... (read in full...)
He broke my heart and I can't trust him, but I really want him back!
Q. So I need help getting over my ex, we split up last summer after being together for just over a year as i found out that he had been cheating on me after several times after i had already forgiven him for doing it once before. And the thing that ...
A. 17 March 2015: Honey a guy who had been cheating on you several times have no remorse and son't GIVE a fly's FART about your feelings. He ISN'T mature enough for an actual relationship, one that includes being faithful.
How do you "get over" him? By acceptin... (read in full...)
I definitely want to have sex with him, but also wouldn't mind a serious relationship!
Q. I met this guy about 3 weeks ago at a party for a conference we were both attending... danced with him all night and we ended up making out. We spent the next day at the conference together, even at the closing party- and he invited me back to his ...
A. 17 March 2015: Definitely TALK to him.... (read in full...)
How did I become the family villian?
Q. A question: If a kid gets punished for something they did not do, is it child abuse even if not excessive just because the kid was innocent and the parent did not believe them? I have not been on speaking terms with my mom for years for this reason. ...
A. 17 March 2015: It's really hard to answer when you don't say what really happened. Was it a minor, kids will be kids, breaking a favorite aunts vase or what?... (read in full...)
I asked him if he'd like to have a drink sometime. His answer has me wondering what to do next!
Q. Hi I am in need of some advice. There is a guy on my sports team who when we first met I kept catching him glancing over to me and when our eyes met we would smile and look away shyly. This happened over several months. We started talking more and ...
A. 16 March 2015: I'd leave him be. Whether the relationship is miserable or not.. It's UP to him to either FIX his relationship OR END it. You aren't really a close friend so trying to be his "confidant" or "shoulder to cry" on is NOT a good idea, specially since ... (read in full...)
Is it wise to date this guy whose ex is lurking in the background?
Q. Dear Cupid friends, Your advice has always been invaluable to me. A guy that I used to bump into after work ( we used to say hello) found me on facebook and then asked me to go out. I went out with him after work on Tuesday and I really liked h...
A. 16 March 2015: I'd let him go. Because? He doesn't REALLY know what he wants. I would tell him that you will be willing to give him some time to think and decide which road he wishes to go down, but I would NOT continue to see him.
He really isn't in a place to... (read in full...)
How do I ask my employer for fewer hours to work my other job? I am leaving this employer
Q. I'm a full time Nanny that works with a work from home mom. I work 9-5 Monday through Friday with no benefits (no vacation days or sick days and no contract). Since the job is going to be up in May, I went job hunting to make sure I'm not jobless in ...
A. 16 March 2015: Why 60 days?
Do you have a contract that states you have to give her 60 days notice? Because normally you "owe" her 2 weeks, no more.
... (read in full...)
Why does he message me first and take hours to reply and barely make an effort? Should I stop talking to him?
Q. I've been speaking to this guy for about a month now, we speak basically everyday and he always initiates contact (I sometimes message him first). He's currently in a different country, but the thing is - he would message me first, I reply and he ...
A. 16 March 2015: And the time difference? How large is that?
And is his finishing up or on a master/phd? ... (read in full...)
No sex with wife since our two year old was born.
Q. Me and my wife had a little girl alomst 2 years ago but since then we have only had sex a handful of times i have tried romantic baths etc. Have spoke to her and dont really get a response as to why we dont have sex anymore just wondering what else ...
A. 16 March 2015: Don't you love it when MEN knows ALL about postpartum? Like freaking Tom Cruise all over..
There is NOT time limit on PPD, it can start out rather "mild" and turn worse over time. Specially if untreated. Many women think if they just "wait" i... (read in full...)
Why does he message me first and take hours to reply and barely make an effort? Should I stop talking to him?
Q. I've been speaking to this guy for about a month now, we speak basically everyday and he always initiates contact (I sometimes message him first). He's currently in a different country, but the thing is - he would message me first, I reply and he ...
A. 16 March 2015: I have to ask, why is he in a different country atm? IS it for work? Or is he serving in the military?
If it's for work, how much of a time difference do you have? Could be that when YOU have time to chat HE is actually working and DO NOT have tim... (read in full...)
I'm in a total quandary! In love with my FWB and wondering if I should tell him?
Q. I'm in a total quandary! I've been in a "friends with benefits" relationship for over two years with a guy who has a girlfriend, but whom he is mostly only with for financial "trapped" reasons. Debts and life's stresses mean it is nigh on impossible ...
A. 16 March 2015: I'm sorry honey, I think you are selling yourself short with this guy. He is a PISS POOR BF to his REAL GF and he is USING you. Why settle for some other woman's sloppy seconds? Don't you WANT more for YOU AND your child?
I agree the dude is ... (read in full...)
He lied about having a wife and a kid!
Q. Hi, I am very sad..I am dating a guy for a year so far, he is from Iraq but we both met in US..after 6 months of being together I saw a pic on facebook of him with a baby..I asked him whos this baby..he said is one of my nephews..anyway I believed ...
A. 16 March 2015: Well, you know know that he is married, so all you can do is move from there.
Are you going to stay with him?
Or are you going to stay with him and continue to beat yourself up over it?
As for the "photoshopped" picture of him and the b... (read in full...)
I miss the cuddling. How can I engage in any relationship in my situation? And are my friends right about arrive together and leave together?
Q. Hi everyone, need an advice. I am a single mom with 2 teens, 15 and 17. My life is very busy with work and kids. I don't date as I really have absolutely no time for that or energy. I concentrate on my kids and my job. But still I am a sexua...
A. 15 March 2015: First of all, I have to ask where you are vacationing at? And second of all, if you are SO desperate for sex, why not get a single room so you can DO whatever you want?
I haven't been on vacation with friends since... UH mid/late 20's but I have n... (read in full...)
Is a baby ultimatum a bad idea?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years. I am 30 and he is 41. I love him and want us to be together for the rest of our lives. I have mentioned marriage before to which he has said he doesn't believe in. Sure I'm disappointed, but he assures me ...
A. 15 March 2015: I think what you are really looking for is clarification. After 6 years he should KNOW if he wants kids with you or not. And so should you.
Not if he says, NO I don't want kids at all, what then? Are you willing to walk?... (read in full...)
How can I get over my strong aversion to having my photo taken?
Q. I dread having my picture taken. When someone pulls out a camera, I usually try to get out of having my picture taken. It's because while at first I sometimes like my pictures, but I'll just sit and stare, and start finding all sorts of little t...
A. 15 March 2015: I'd say LEARN to find your "good side" for when others take pictures. If you stay out of every photo from now on, you will regret it in 10-20 years.
Everyone have a "pose" that takes advantage of their best features, FIND yours.
And FIND your... (read in full...)
He accuses me of cheating, yet I wonder if he's cheating. What can I do about this relationship?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating almost a year. We finally met each others parents. We don't hangout that much cause he works al the time the only day we WOULD have to ourselves is Sunday. But when he has free time he rather spend it with hi...
A. 15 March 2015: I think you have both removed yourselves from the relationship. First of all, if you don't LIVE together, he doesn't NEED to show up at 3 am.
He only SEES you for sex? The rest of the week (6 days) he rather hang out with friends? Yes, he might... (read in full...)
I have a huge secret crush on a woman who has become friends with my own fiancee. Do I reveal my crush, or not?
Q. I'm engaged to a wonderful woman that I have been with for 8 years (since I was 18). She is a beautiful person, inside and out, and I feel terrible guilt about asking this. She has become friends with a girl (let's call her Jane) over the past two ...
A. 15 March 2015: What exactly do you think will come of talking to "Jane"? That she reciprocate? and you ride off happily into the sunset?
Should you TALK to Jane? Are you serious?
No, you should TALK to your partner, who most likely thinks it's ALL her fau... (read in full...)
He flirts with me and he's younger than I thought. Do I act on my feelings or forget him?
Q. Theres a bar i go in and each time ive gone theres a young guy who works there always chats to us, this week he had more time to chat and got quite flirty. He told me how old he was i was shocked he was as young as he was id like something to happen ...
A. 15 March 2015: Just HOW young is he?
And having BEEN a bartender myself, I know how common it is to flirt and pay extra attention to return costumers. It's good business. If the customer is attractive it's always a bonus.
If he is over 21 I don't see the bi... (read in full...)
How to give and get independence in a relationship?
Q. Hi all, Recently dodged a breakup through communication and found that we both lost ourselves in the relationship. He would like some independence back and I would like to not be so dependent on him emotionally. My question is after 3 years...
A. 15 March 2015: Having grown up and dated BEFORE cellphones took over, I can say that the NOT CONSTANT contact can be a GOOD thing. You look FORWARD to being with your partner, to talking to them, but you also retain your individuality and independence.
I'd s... (read in full...)
My wife is my sole sexual partner to date. would having sex with friends be a good or bad idea?
Q. I'm writing for the first time on DearCupid and my name pretty much speaks for itself. Now I'm not the curious as in the same sex, but the curious type that wonders what it is like to be with another woman. Since I was 17 I have been with only t...
A. 15 March 2015: I have to say if you WANT to try this SOLELY because you have only been with your wife, it's a bad idea.
YOU should have "tried" a few more girls BEFORE setting down.
I can't imagine having sex with ANY of my good friends. I love them all de... (read in full...)
Odd Description of Past Boyfriends
Q. My wife and I had been talking about our past including some of the boyfriends/girlfriends which we had sex with and we are cool about it i.e. no jealousy. In our discussion fell upon at least 3 of her boyfriends/flings cheating on her. Her reaction ...
A. 15 March 2015: She chooses to remember the NICE part of the relationship, NOT the disrespect of cheating.
Yea, she might be a little in denial, I'd say let her.... (read in full...)
Unplaned pregnancy and I'm having second thoughts about the father
Q. So suppose I am so confused I need to talk about it..i have a son from a previous relationship which didn't work out as he was abusive and cheating. He doesn't see he's son he's own choice..i am now in a relationship of 7 months although we were ...
A. 15 March 2015: I don't think your son will have any issues with a new sibling, UNLESS YOU make that a big deal.
I get why you are anxious and scared, you had a child with one man and he turned out to be a total dud and now... you are with someone new AND preg... (read in full...)
I'd like to live alone but I'm afraid as well ...
Q. Is living alone at age 21 a bad decision? Basically I'm living in an apartment with my roommate but during the last semester of our senior year at college, she will most likely (if she is accepted) be studying in another state, meaning I will h...
A. 15 March 2015: When I was 18 I moved to London and found a job and a place to stay. All in 3 days. I didn't know ANYTHING about getting around in London. I did NOT get to know the city 100%.
You CAN live on your own without knowing the city 100%. I moved to... (read in full...)
He thinks I'm bitter and a gossip. Have I put him off for good?
Q. My ex use to think I was hot - until he started chatting up other women. So I became bitter and jealous. We were together losely - nothing serious, but I guess I was annoyed he was looking elsewhere. However now he has gone off me altogeth...
A. 14 March 2015: Then KEEP ignoring him. If anyone asks, just say I have no clue as I don't talk to him. END of story. Don't go into elaborate, he thinks this or that explanations.
Just pretend he is a total stranger.
Sooner or later HE will be the one look ... (read in full...)
No sex with wife since our two year old was born.
Q. Me and my wife had a little girl alomst 2 years ago but since then we have only had sex a handful of times i have tried romantic baths etc. Have spoke to her and dont really get a response as to why we dont have sex anymore just wondering what else ...
A. 14 March 2015: I have to agree with EVERYTHING Brown Wolf said.
Having given birth 3 times, I know there have been times post baby that I had ABSOLUTELY no interest in sex. And with hubby gone for work from 4am-8/9pm 5/6 days a week I was exhausted from tak... (read in full...)
He thinks I'm bitter and a gossip. Have I put him off for good?
Q. My ex use to think I was hot - until he started chatting up other women. So I became bitter and jealous. We were together losely - nothing serious, but I guess I was annoyed he was looking elsewhere. However now he has gone off me altogeth...
A. 14 March 2015: Ignore him and his notions. They really don't make you bitter or a gossip because HE thinks so.
My guess is he went on the offensive when you told him off for chatting up other women. It's easier to talk SMACK about you then own up to his own lewd... (read in full...)
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