We divorced year's ago... but I am still having dreams about my ex husband!
Q. Hello all, I'll try to keep this as short as I can, but here goes... I have been divorced for four years, and was married for seven years. During the marriage there were constant issues with him cheating and things were very difficult. When...
A. 14 March 2015: If I had a penny for ALL the people saying "I know I stayed longer then I should have" I'd be one rich lady.... There is NO shame in having stayed when you KNEW you should walk. It's EASY to say WALK AWAY, but when your lives, finances, debt are ... (read in full...)
We divorced year's ago... but I am still having dreams about my ex husband!
Q. Hello all, I'll try to keep this as short as I can, but here goes... I have been divorced for four years, and was married for seven years. During the marriage there were constant issues with him cheating and things were very difficult. When...
A. 12 March 2015: Don't beat yourself up that you TRUSTED him despite his past. I don't think it's a WIFE'S (or husband's) job to snoop and become some great Sherlock Holmes to "police" their spouse.
Yes, you knew he had cheated before. You presumed he had stopped ... (read in full...)
Surely if she was as interested as I was, she'd be doing more to keep in contact?
Q. I have no trouble speaking to women, in fact I'm quite a flirt. Intimate encounters aren't hard for me to achieve either, I know how to show a girl a good time. But when it comes to relationships I'm entirely unlucky, having never had more than fle...
A. 4 March 2015: I think you "read" her right. She isn't that into you. Even a shy girl would find time if they were keen on the guy.
My guess is, she felt you two weren't a great match at all (personality wise) She probably felt you were a typical player/c... (read in full...)
She seemed flirty and interested. Was she never really interested in me?
Q. I was 'seeing' this girl, I met her at a bar one night with some friends. I was very flirty towards her and showed that I was interested in her. I got her number etc and asked to see her most weekends but it came across like she would never ma...
A. 4 March 2015: Cut the contact.
I think she is toying with you, but ONLY when she is bored.
Find someone who is as interested in you as you are in them, she isn't it.... (read in full...)
I acted immaturely towards him and then asked if he wanted to be FWB's, he hasn't responded. Advice?
Q. I met this guy off this dating site. I didnt like him at first, I thought his voice was loud and very pronounced (Im assuming he had to learn how to talk that way from teaching; he is a first year math teacher). He is a good guy though but our ...
A. 4 March 2015: I think you need to STOP reading SO much into a STRANGER'S actions or lack of them. And HE is a STRANGER.
Secondly, STOP being so dramatic! You are reacting to HOW you think he could maybe perhaps be feeling about you. YOU don't KNOW. RELAX.
... (read in full...)
Should I tell my friend that she may get fired?
Q. I know how crazy this question may sound. Off course I should, right? Only, she’s unable to hear anything bad in general and especially right now. She’s been prolonging her sick leave for over a month (we live in a European country where th...
A. 4 March 2015: If you have already suggested to HER to CALL her co-workers, I'd leave it at that.
If she WANTS to later on blame you... LET her and then cut her off. She sounds exhausting to to try and stay friends with.
... (read in full...)
Are we prolonging a break-up, or is it possible that this can work?
Q. Hi community, I need your help. I've been with my bf for 3 years now and in the past few months we've become stagnant and too comfortable. I didn't know he was unhappy and in the past few weeks we have been going back and forth over it. 2 ...
A. 3 March 2015: Him sleeping on the couch is not solving anything. You two "ignoring" the big pink elephant" in the living room doesn't solve anything either.
Also you are not BOTH looking for the same thing. YOU want to "fix" it, he wants to end it.
And let... (read in full...)
Is my crush trying to send a message to the other gals at work what is his purpose?
Q. Dear cupid,I have a huge crush on a guy I have been knowing for about 8 months.He stated he is in a relationship but he is not married.We flirt with each other back and forward and I notice the other gals rolling their eyes at me on the sly.Really ...
A. 3 March 2015: If these women KNOW he has a GF/wife/fiance/whatever that is EXACTLY why they roll their eyes at you, because flirting with him seems pointless and makes you look like a little love-struck tween, not a grown woman.
... (read in full...)
Should I tell my friend that she may get fired?
Q. I know how crazy this question may sound. Off course I should, right? Only, she’s unable to hear anything bad in general and especially right now. She’s been prolonging her sick leave for over a month (we live in a European country where th...
A. 3 March 2015: I'm with Ciar.
I would also make CLEAR that you don't KNOW anything for a fact, it's a rumor.
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and I are living with his mom. I feel like they are the couple and I am just here!
Q. Let me start off thank you for taking your time to read this so I've been with my boyfriend for 7 years now recently 3 years ago I got pregnant and now we have a daughter she's two we first started as a long distance relationship but now with a ...
A. 3 March 2015: I'd tell your BF that you love him mom and have been VERY grateful for having been given the chance to LIVE with her, but that you NEED to move back home because you feel you NEED to support of YOUR OWN mom.
OR... YOU and your BF find a way to g... (read in full...)
How to avoid Date Rape?
Q. I've been seeking out nothing more than casual sex online and made this blatant on my dating profile. However, getting date raped as a result has become a fear. I'm afraid that, in the situation where I want to take things slow, postpone the act...
A. 3 March 2015: You know, it breaks my heart that ANY girl HAVE to TRY and avoid rape.
But here is what I would consider.
TRUST your instincts. IF anything seems off with him, even if he is HANDSOME or CHARMING - if he gives you an odd vibe, make up an excus... (read in full...)
We divorced year's ago... but I am still having dreams about my ex husband!
Q. Hello all, I'll try to keep this as short as I can, but here goes... I have been divorced for four years, and was married for seven years. During the marriage there were constant issues with him cheating and things were very difficult. When...
A. 3 March 2015: Could it be that if you start working on letting go of him and the trust issue might help?
Having trust issues with HIM was justified, but at some point you will HAVE to remember that THAT was him, can't put the issues you had with him ONTO the... (read in full...)
He's my ex and we met 4 years ago. LDR in recent times. Still love him. Should I turn my back on him?
Q. I met my ex almost 4 years ago and we started dating moved in together travelled the world and had a great bond. It was always a very volatile relationship - but for some reason it worked. Until a year ago, where he dumped me and I moved out. We ...
A. 2 March 2015: If you can handle dating an emotional yo-yo - he IS the guy for you.
If you want stability and a healthy relationship where honesty, trust and communication are key, he isn't it.
He Is however being honest with you, but I'n not sure it's actual... (read in full...)
I am desperate to get pregnant and am considering involving a guy I know. Advice?
Q. im nearly 40 and desperate for a child i am in a stable position financially and emotionally and have a big support network around me. i met a guy on a night out we met a few times and exchanged numbers but he became a bit odd as tho he had never ...
A. 2 March 2015: No. Actually... ABSOLUTELY no way.
You already got a weird vibe from and and his declaration of "love" after 5 minutes, having his BABY? That would be.. well, nuts.
If you have a child with this man, he CAN come back with a claim to "share"... (read in full...)
My boyfriend keeps pushing me away and then wanting me back, I am tired of the drama! What can I do?
Q. I'm currently stuck in a push-pull cycle with my bf. We've been together for many years. He has admitted to me, not too long ago actually, that he has a problem of pushing everyone away and then when he decides to talk it's too late. He said he has ...
A. 2 March 2015: Dump HIM for a change and don't take him back.
End it.
FINITO!
Then cut the contact 100%. Block him, delete him, ignore him and MOVE on and upwards!... (read in full...)
She has told me she is attracted to a guy at work. I am worried she is going to leave me. Advice?
Q. I've been in a romantic relationship nearly 9 months now officially, much longer as friends. We are currently abstinent for religious reasons. We have a lot in common but very different personalities. I care about her very much, even love I ...
A. 2 March 2015: Yikes.
Honey, I think she is telling you all this to:
1. soften the blow (she is looking to end your relationship)
2. to let you know that she is keeping YOU as the "spare" in case the other guy doesn't work out.
DO NOT change who you A... (read in full...)
My best friend has started dating a guy I liked and I feel like she is rubbing it in my face!
Q. My best friend for 13 years has started dating the guy I like. She only started to see him once she knew I liked him and when she's with him they both completely ignore me. She tells me everything that happens between them as if she's trying to rub ...
A. 2 March 2015: I know at your age people like to "call dips" on people they like, but IF you didn't DO anything to get to know him or date him, you can't REALLY say or do anything without looking .. well... silly.
However, IF she ONLY went after him because ... (read in full...)
I keep making excuses for him.
Q. I have been with my partner now for 6 years, we have known each other for sometime and were briefly together just after leaving school although no sexual intercourse. After a year of being together sex dropped of quite quickly, It is an issue for me ...
A. 2 March 2015: I think you have a hard time accepting that he ISN'T interested in you sexually. It MIGHT be a religious thing, if he was raised with the NOTION that sex was for PROCREATION only, NOT pleasure, and that sex outside marriage is a sin. I can see why ... (read in full...)
I like them both, which guy do I choose?
Q. Okay, so I've liked my bestfriends brother for about 4years now (she's okay with it, don't worry haha). He's 3years older than me, making him nearly 21 which has never been a problem for us, we get along really well, flirt, have banter etc. we've ...
A. 2 March 2015: I vote neither.
Dating a BFF's brother? Can go so very wrong and you might end up losing a BFF.. That would suck. And I agree I think the brother likes to "play" he likes to flirt and a little hanky panky here and there, but... I don't think he... (read in full...)
We divorced year's ago... but I am still having dreams about my ex husband!
Q. Hello all, I'll try to keep this as short as I can, but here goes... I have been divorced for four years, and was married for seven years. During the marriage there were constant issues with him cheating and things were very difficult. When...
A. 2 March 2015: I think your sub-conscience is still trying to figure the mess he left behind out.
Part of it is you blaming yourself for maybe not know he was a cheat before marriage or as you say getting blindsided. Most people PRESUME that the wife KNOWS. L... (read in full...)
My boyfriend won't listen to me when I say I want him to stop watching porn, he even uses my phone to watch it! Help!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. We also live together. I was having an issue with him looking at porn. I know guys are going to be guys. But....He only can get on the internet on my cellphone, so it kinda hurts my feeling...
A. 2 March 2015: I have to say first of all, I'm not a fan of porn. I don't watch it myself, but my husband does. That is HIS choice. I'm NOT the "boss" of his sexuality. If he wants to watch two (or more) people go at it so he can quickly rub one out... it's really ... (read in full...)
Was I expecting too much? Or was he inconsiderate when he chose to see his friends on the day that was our first anniversary together?
Q. so, in terms of problems it isn't really huge but, i been with my boyfriend for a year now and there this thing that has been nagging my mind for quite some time now. he was my best friend of 5 years before we got into a relationship and in those...
A. 2 March 2015: I can tell you right now what your biggest mistake has been..
Let me quote you:
---------------------
"He always complained about it how he always had to do everything for her.
That relationship came to an end and we started dating and i tri... (read in full...)
Would you cancel your wedding if your family wasn't interested? Is my fiance's suggestion better?
Q. I'm getting married next summer to the love of my life. We have been together almost 3 years and I love him so much. I'm 21 he is 30. I got engaged last year and booked my wedding but my family are so disinterested. My mother and father hate soci...
A. 2 March 2015: I think eloping is fine, getting married is about YOU TWO - not anyone else, really.
So, if you BOTH rather elope, do it.
If you family isn't really into weddings and you actually HAD to BEG them to be there for you, do you still think you ... (read in full...)
My wedding is a few weeks away and his ex wife and adult daughters are still causing problems.
Q. I have written in before about my fiance's ex wife and 3 adult girls abusive behavior and was given advice that we followed and basically blocked them off of facebook, and just continued living our lives. My fiance was able to reconnect with a ...
A. 2 March 2015: Ahh so HE isn't consistent? He actually want these women in his life, no matter HOW they treat you and him?
If that is the case, DO NOT marry him, because THAT will not change.
And, no that doesn't make you a "bitch" for wanting some con... (read in full...)
He avoided me, had a few drinks and was all over me, next morning back to avoidance!
Q. Why can't I learn not to obsess over things and just let them go? This weekend I went on a short trip to a cabin with a bunch of my friends. There was a guy that had also been invited there (we both knew eachother was going because there was an ...
A. 2 March 2015: You know, he is EXACTLY the kind of guy to avoid.
But yes, you did OVERREACT by "confronting" him. He can dance with whomever he likes, whether YOU like that girl or not. He didn't OWE you squat. And you don't own him.
He didn't LIKE you ... (read in full...)
My weight is interfering with my sex life...How can I be on top without feeling insecure?
Q. What is the best way for a plus sized woman to be on top during sex without hurting her man? When I say plus size I'm referring to 200+. I'm 5'9 and my weight is 216. My breasts are rather huge, bigger than a 44D and I have some stomach fat and love ...
A. 2 March 2015: Honestly, get yourself a NICE corset that makes YOU feel sexy. That way you can (in effect) hide the things you don't want to show (let's say stomach) and accentuate the ones that you do.(let's say breasts). YOU being so self conscious will ruin the ... (read in full...)
My mum is insistent that I move out and get a job.. but I am already doing a beauty course..how do I get her to back off?
Q. I am currently finishing a full time beauty therapy course. I have been looking for jobs, but so far have been unsuccessful. my mum is giving me such a hard time at the moment, phoning me up and calling me a "fucking disgrace" because i havent got a ...
A. 2 March 2015: I am with Auntie Bim - Am I missing something? Are you living WITH her or on your own?
If you are LIVING on your own and taking CARE of yourself, tell her to back off or even better, tell her if she can't say nothing nice to just not talk to you f... (read in full...)
College or Surgery? I can only pick one!
Q. To put a long story short, I was once morbidly obese. I've gotten to a *somewhat* healthy weight of 160, but I can't stand my body. I avoid looking in the mirror at my body. Over the past 3 months, I've come to the conclusion that I want to g...
A. 2 March 2015: I have to ask first, how long ago did you lose the weight (how long have you kept it off)?
I ask that because it usually takes a body a year to 2 years to SETTLE into a new "shape" - I would NOT do any surgery till you have 2 years down at a ste... (read in full...)
I have feelings for my best friend's boyfriend!
Q. i fancy my bestfriends boyfriend and i talk to him alot and im getting emotions alot over him im falling for him but my bestfriend is in love with him. a couple of months ago they broke up and he was talking to me he flirted and everything we would ...
A. 1 March 2015:
Going after a best FRIEND'S BF is not cool, flirting with him and leaning on him, not cool either. YOU wouldn't want YOUR best friend to do that TO YOU, ever - so don't DO it yourself.
STEP away from the guy. Don't chat, flirt or anything wit... (read in full...)
Married 19 years and it's not been easy. How can I find the strength to leave him?
Q. I have been married for 19yrs and have three children (my youngest being 15yrs old) The marriage has been not the happiest at points. He had an affair in 2005 and we separated, if you can call it that, for a couple of months as he slept at hers dur...
A. 1 March 2015: I agree with Janniepeg. CONTACT a lawyer. GET to know your right. A GOOD divorce lawyer can help you step by step. I would suggest that you TALK to your kids (and HAVE someone WATCH them) when you tell your husband (I ALSO suggest you have a ... (read in full...)
Problems: Was it the lack of emotional connection? Or the condom? Or that it was my first time?
Q. Hi, I'm a 20 year old gay man and I recently had sex for the first time. I've found that it's really hard for me to stay hard when I use a condom because it feels really uncomfortable on my penis. What should I do? Does anyone else have this i...
A. 1 March 2015: I think using a condom was SUPER smart, even if it could be a factor in your problems with keeping an erection.
It's hard to say which factor made it difficult for you to stay erect, but USING common sense SHOULD always be a priority. So KEEP usi... (read in full...)
I think anything I did while we were broken up is none of his business!
Q. I broke up with my BF for 5 months. He's married by the way and we had an affair for 2 1/2 years. We have started talking again and want to pursue a relationship but only if he leaves his wife. I refuse to get back to that stressful, wrong mess. ...
A. 1 March 2015: It's a choice to stay together or not.
Since you also work together I would JUST be professional, but I would cut the contact outside of work. you have to start somewhere if you TRULY want to end it.
Saying it's complicated due to work, is a co... (read in full...)
Should I stay with my girlfriend of 6 years?
Q. Hi, I just wanted to get some advice on my relationship as probably I could do with it. I'm 33 and my girlfriend is five years younger than me. We have been going out for 6-7 years. I’m not sure if I should stay with her. When she has no problem ...
A. 1 March 2015: So you stooped to her level by tossing her keys on the tracks, and it didn't make you feel good.
CUT your losses now. Whatever she has of your "stuff" say goodbye to it in your mind.
KEEP ALL the abusive texts she sent you (And I hope you didn'... (read in full...)
My wedding is a few weeks away and his ex wife and adult daughters are still causing problems.
Q. I have written in before about my fiance's ex wife and 3 adult girls abusive behavior and was given advice that we followed and basically blocked them off of facebook, and just continued living our lives. My fiance was able to reconnect with a ...
A. 1 March 2015: I think blaming HIM for his ex-wife and ADULT daughters behavior is unfair.
HE has CHOSEN to deal with them BY ignoring them, my guess is HE knows full well that nothing else will work.
HE can not, you can not, MAKE these women behave decent. I... (read in full...)
Why does my bf try to make me feel jealous? He implies that I can't do any better
Q. I've been with my bf for almost 5 years. Things have been so rocky the last month we're hardly communicating. Last night we talked for almost 3 hours, over facebook, about our issues and how we can't seem to make it work. As the conversation wen...
A. 1 March 2015: So why are you with him?
... (read in full...)
Is this a trick men play? He claims he doesn't like to talk about his private business and then he tells me all about it. then he blocked me.
Q. Dear Cupids, I've known this guy for 4 yrs, we are friends actually. When I had first met, I developed feelings . He said he felt the same way and it was only till long after that he told me he had a GF who was away at the moment. The feelin...
A. 1 March 2015: It's not what ALL guys do. It's what THIS guy does.
My guess is that you two have had such blurred boundaries for so long, you being his "friend" in hopes that he would date you down the line, and him being friend with you so he HAS a girl to ... (read in full...)
I think anything I did while we were broken up is none of his business!
Q. I broke up with my BF for 5 months. He's married by the way and we had an affair for 2 1/2 years. We have started talking again and want to pursue a relationship but only if he leaves his wife. I refuse to get back to that stressful, wrong mess. ...
A. 1 March 2015: Well, there you go.
Maybe it has taken you this long to realize the BEING with him was never really an option.
And that he pulls the, well If I leave my wife I WANT TO date freely JUST like you did. It's quite frankly pathetic.
It'... (read in full...)
Sleeping with the ex but I'm demanding more respect
Q. Just to start off, I'm a 30 yr old female and single. For the past two years I've been sleeping with my ex (37). He took my virginity exactly 15 yrs ago and we always been hooking up on and off. I have been celibate since 2008 due to low self esteem ...
A. 28 February 2015: You are NOT going to GET respect from this guy by sleeping with him.
He is NOT your friend, he is an EX.
And stop filling your head with garbage, obese or not, NO ONE deserves to be treated like dirt. And you know it.
Why not DUMP the user... (read in full...)
To what extent does scent affect attraction?
Q. A question for the uncles! How much do you enjoy a female's scent? Would you pick a clean but plain smelling girl or rather one who had on an distinct added scent such as perfume, deoderant, shampoo etc.? To what extent does scent affect attractio...
A. 28 February 2015: I think that is rather individual. Some smells evoke strong emotions and memories, so which "affect" attraction others may remind you of someone from the past pleasant or unpleasant.
I had a friend who LOVED the smell of newly washed hair.
... (read in full...)
I think anything I did while we were broken up is none of his business!
Q. I broke up with my BF for 5 months. He's married by the way and we had an affair for 2 1/2 years. We have started talking again and want to pursue a relationship but only if he leaves his wife. I refuse to get back to that stressful, wrong mess. ...
A. 28 February 2015: I don't think I could have put it any better than WiseOwlE.
You don't owe him squat. But.... Lady... Don't you think you OWE yourself more then being someone's dirty secret?
He isn't going to leave her. I don't think he will actually WANT to... (read in full...)
I'm fine with being friends, but he is sending mixed signals!
Q. I have had this guy friend for about 4 months. We are just good friends that hangout and have a good time together, and great friends that we have classes together at school (college). I had begin to develops feelings for him because we were ...
A. 28 February 2015: IF you can handle JUST being friends then TREAT him like a FRIEND, no more, no less.
If you are looking for a BF, he isn't it. He knows you like him and he turned you down. But I think he keeps the compliments going, because he likes the idea of ... (read in full...)
My husband wants to name our first child after his father, and for him it is not negotiable!
Q. I am pregnant and I found out that my husband and I will be having a boy. I am not excited because my husband wants to name our son after his father's name. It is a Lebanese tradition that the eldest son of the family must name his future son's name ...
A. 28 February 2015: I'm with YouWish.
I don't think it's YOUR call to decide this name.
YOU chose to marry a Lebanese man. Whether you find his "TRADITIONS" silly or not. you need to have some respect for him and HIS traditions.
Let him pick the first name, you... (read in full...)
Should I go back home and get an education? Or keep doing web cam modeling like my friends suggest?
Q. Hello Everybody, I am thinking of moving back to my home country,been in the Netherlands for sometime now and things are not going as planned for me.As for my Education,i am a high school graduate,i tried saving for University but failed to ra...
A. 28 February 2015: I think you need to decide what is right FOR you. Your friends might have a different priority, they MAY be OK with not being educated.
You have to decide WHAT YOU want and then go for it. Something getting what we want takes longer then we want ... (read in full...)
My wedding is a few weeks away and his ex wife and adult daughters are still causing problems.
Q. I have written in before about my fiance's ex wife and 3 adult girls abusive behavior and was given advice that we followed and basically blocked them off of facebook, and just continued living our lives. My fiance was able to reconnect with a ...
A. 28 February 2015: Have you/your fiance contacted FB? To have these posts taken down as they are "defamation of character" posts?
I don't know IF FB will do a thing, but if they do well that would be good (it might not last) If they don't just CUT them off. Any frie... (read in full...)
Should I stay with my girlfriend of 6 years?
Q. Hi, I just wanted to get some advice on my relationship as probably I could do with it. I'm 33 and my girlfriend is five years younger than me. We have been going out for 6-7 years. I’m not sure if I should stay with her. When she has no problem ...
A. 24 February 2015: Honestly, I think you two grew apart a while back when she started befriending "Kat" and her cronies.
I do think you give "Kat" to much power and credit over your GF. She is an adult and RESPONSIBLE for HER own actions. She made the choice t... (read in full...)
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