Found out she cheated... lied for months and watched me have a breakdown. Can the relationship be saved?
Q. I'm pretty screwed up right now... Essentially my girlfriend of over 7 years slept with her best friend about 6 months ago, once drunk in the night, and again in the morning (though she claims se was still drunk). I've always suspected it. she ...
A. 12 March 2015: EDIT:
I wrote:1. she knew an ACTUAL relationship with the other dude was realistic.
Should have been:
1. she knew an ACTUAL relationship with the other dude was unrealistic.... (read in full...)
Should I stop having a FWB relationship? Or go with the flow?
Q. I've only been in two serious relationships... One ended because my ex forced me to give him head a few times and told me he was using me for sex. The other guy was recent, he was my everything, but I go to college out of state and it ruined us. He ...
A. 12 March 2015: I agree with Cindy... your closet is full of handbag and your shoes are falling apart.
YOU want/need new shoes (aka relationship) so OF COURSE a new handbag (FWB) won't help.
And to all the anon men telling you that you VALUE as a future wife... (read in full...)
Curious, maybe even suspicious...
Q. My girlfriend constantly calls me daddy during sex. She also likes to role play that she is 13 and I'm her father coming to her bedroom when everyone else is asleep. Her father is deceased but I know from her mother that they, my gf and her dad, ...
A. 12 March 2015: So, your GF has Daddy issues. Have you read about Electra complex? (Jung) It's basically the "female" version of the Oedipus complex.
She KNOWINGLY froze her mother out, her DAD knowingly froze the mother out. Now she may have seen it as her MOTH... (read in full...)
Found out she cheated... lied for months and watched me have a breakdown. Can the relationship be saved?
Q. I'm pretty screwed up right now... Essentially my girlfriend of over 7 years slept with her best friend about 6 months ago, once drunk in the night, and again in the morning (though she claims se was still drunk). I've always suspected it. she ...
A. 12 March 2015: If you can't work towards forgiveness? then yes, I think you should end it.
You seem to have a LOT of questions about her actions, but have you actually SAT her down and talked? For her to say to someone else that she LOVES him and unsure about he... (read in full...)
Is he just not ready for anything serious and wants to play the field?
Q. So A few months ago I started dating this guy, and before we became officially in a relationship he was talking/ sleeping with this other girl. When I found out, I told him that he couldn't both be with me and her, he had to make a choice. He chose ...
A. 11 March 2015: Is he just not ready for anything serious and he needs to play the field more?
He doesn't know what he wants, other then sex.
I don't think he is mature enough or ready for a REAL relationship. After all the guy was having unprotected S... (read in full...)
I'm ashamed that I look at porn a few year ago and my friends found out
Q. Ok I am a little mortified. A few years ago, I heard my lad mates joking about watching porn on the Internet. I was intrigued and curious more than anything so had a little look myself, looked at a few of the topics, lesbian, oral etc (even th...
A. 11 March 2015: You are in your 30's and NOT in a nunnery. YOU have a curious mind and well, hormones.
SO what if you looked at porn? If you sit 24/7 and drool over porn, THAT is your choice.
It doesn't make you DISGUSTING or DIRTY for having looked.
I bet... (read in full...)
I'm the only one trying in this relationship so why doesn't he just break up with me?
Q. Dear Cupid I'm with my current bf for past 4 years , had our ups and downs. But for past few weeks our relationship is going downhill. He stopped even trying to be nice, just stopped putting any effort in the relationship, no fights and no ta...
A. 11 March 2015: Well, if you GIVE him money when he ASKS for it, no wonder he is reluctant to breaking up with you. YOU are his ATM, nothing more.
WHY on Earth are you waiting for HIM to break up? What exactly are you getting OUT of this relationship, other th... (read in full...)
Found out she cheated... lied for months and watched me have a breakdown. Can the relationship be saved?
Q. I'm pretty screwed up right now... Essentially my girlfriend of over 7 years slept with her best friend about 6 months ago, once drunk in the night, and again in the morning (though she claims se was still drunk). I've always suspected it. she ...
A. 11 March 2015: YOU made a HUGE mistake in proposing to someone who had JUST cheated on you with her "best friend".
I get that people don't want to feel like they wasted x amount of years with nothing to show, but I think YOUR mistake was to think that a proposal... (read in full...)
Should I stop having a FWB relationship? Or go with the flow?
Q. I've only been in two serious relationships... One ended because my ex forced me to give him head a few times and told me he was using me for sex. The other guy was recent, he was my everything, but I go to college out of state and it ruined us. He ...
A. 11 March 2015: An FWB in NOT going to make you feel better about yourself. Nor is it going to make it easier for you to FIND someone you WANT to actually be with.
I get the whole "I want to be held and adored" but I think it's rarely a great idea, as the GUY ... (read in full...)
Is it okay to send your boyfriend a video of you masturbating?
Q. Would you consider it okay to send your boyfriend who is away for a few weeks on business a naughty video of you masturbating? Just to keep the spark going and to give him something to look forward to when he comes back?...
A. 10 March 2015: If you want to and if you think he would appreciate it. I'd just have ONE suggestion... don't have your face in any of the shots.
He is your BF, not fiance or husband so if... anything turns sour you don't have to worry about it ending up on the I... (read in full...)
After two years of trying, I still can't orgasm during sex
Q. When me and my boyfriend have sex , it feels like whatever to me . His penis doesn't make me horny it's not that it's small or anything but I just don't see how people stimulate there G spot with it . We've been trying to make me have an orgasm f...
A. 10 March 2015: Most women do NOT squirt. We do NOT (generally) ejaculate. If you and your BF think that female ejaculation = orgasm.. you need to step away from the porn. It's not reality.
As for the G-spot - well the jury is still out whether it ACTUALLY... (read in full...)
Am I reading too much into this question?
Q. Hi recently one of my guy friends who I occasionally make out with (when there's nobody else) texted me that I looked hot at a party we both recently went to. A bit later after we were flirting and joking (like usual) he said "can I check where yo...
A. 10 March 2015: Ooops I seem to have stuttered...... (read in full...)
Am I reading too much into this question?
Q. Hi recently one of my guy friends who I occasionally make out with (when there's nobody else) texted me that I looked hot at a party we both recently went to. A bit later after we were flirting and joking (like usual) he said "can I check where yo...
A. 10 March 2015: He wants to know where he stands. So SHIT or get off the pot. He doesn't WANT to play the same game as you.
If you don't really care for him, and JUST see him as a dude to kiss when NO ONE better is around - tell him that you don't see anything... (read in full...)
Am I reading too much into this question?
Q. Hi recently one of my guy friends who I occasionally make out with (when there's nobody else) texted me that I looked hot at a party we both recently went to. A bit later after we were flirting and joking (like usual) he said "can I check where yo...
A. 10 March 2015: He wants to know where he stands. So SHIT or get off the pot. He doesn't WANT to play the same game as you.
If you don't really care for him, and JUST see him as a dude to kiss when NO ONE better is around - tell him that you don't see anything... (read in full...)
He's bad for me but I have a hard time letting him go
Q. Recently I met this guy who I thought was the greatest thing that happened to me. He always knows the right words to say and I fell for him. Now im realizing how crappy he has been treating me. He calls me every night but always hangs up on me wh...
A. 10 March 2015: Block his number, delete it from your phone. If he calls on another phone tell him to go fly a kite.
You can do this.
You already know he isn't a good fit, so WHY waste more time on him?... (read in full...)
Guys, would you date a 27-year-old virgin?
Q. I'm 27 and still a virgin. I feel so old being one at this age and I'm wondering if guys will even want to give me a chance since there are plenty of experienced women for them to pick from. So, first things first. My virginity doesn't mean much to ...
A. 10 March 2015: Virgin only means NO sexual experience. It's not a defect, it's not a halo. And it's NOT all that you are.
To be sexually inexperienced at 27 is not the norm perhaps, but for YOU it has made sense. You simply haven't had the time or met a guy you ... (read in full...)
Would it be creepy to contact him after this long?
Q. i met this guy in one of my PE classes during the previous term. I unintentionally developed a crush on him on the last day of class, which is awful timing. Over winter break, I added him on fb, and messaged him a week later. I asked him if he ...
A. 10 March 2015: You keep asking this question. Which means you are either no listening to the advice ALREADY given or you don't have the guts to just send him a hey how are you? message.
You aren't looking to chat PE with this guy. Or to know if he is taking t... (read in full...)
Curious, maybe even suspicious...
Q. My girlfriend constantly calls me daddy during sex. She also likes to role play that she is 13 and I'm her father coming to her bedroom when everyone else is asleep. Her father is deceased but I know from her mother that they, my gf and her dad, ...
A. 10 March 2015: Yep, I'm with Cindy. It's fantasy. The FACT that you play along would (if we follow YOUR rationalization) mean that you are a child predator going after 13 year old girls.
If the fantasy makes you uncomfortable tell her.
My guess Is that sh... (read in full...)
These ladies are all home owners and take pride in their home- why couldn't they respect mine?
Q. Hi, Something happened recently which annoyed me some what and I would like opinions as to whether I'm being too sensitive or not... 2 weeks ago my work organised for us all to have an evening out- now seeing as I lived closest to the venue whe...
A. 10 March 2015: They are all in their 30's too?
I mean I have had friends over to get ready when we ere in our teens, 20's and NO ONE ever treated my place like a public restroom. EVER. Yeah, things got spilled ( I'm more of a white wine kind of girl, always w... (read in full...)
Even sex on the fifth date doesn't seem long enough to wait
Q. I'm 24 and fed up of boys wanting one thing from me .. It isn't like I have sex 1st date .. I do make them wait till at least 4-5th date but it always ends up just sex. I was dating this guy which I went on 6 date with .. The 5th date we did...
A. 10 March 2015: Do you have any kind of conversations BEFORE the sex about what you are looking for? As in you tell them RIGHT off the bat (first/second date ) that you are NOT looking for a FWB/F-buddy thing, but an actual relationship?
If you tell them that and... (read in full...)
I feel so guilty ... but was I manipuated?
Q. hi guys, I am in desperate need of some advice. I just broke up with boyfriend of a year and a half last week. It was long distance with both of us making an effort to see each other when we could. I have a 7 years old daughter from a previous ...
A. 9 March 2015: Honestly, as SOON as I'd found out that he WASN'T making an effort with my child I would have walked away.
She SHOULD be your top priority, not a dude.
I do think he IS a tad manipulative, it's HIS way or the highway.
He "forgets" your bir... (read in full...)
Does my friend think she's better than everyone else?
Q. I have a friend of mine who is very attractive and comes from a family that has a lot of money. She is pretty sarcastic but anyway we were out one night and I introduced her to a group of my other friends and the whole time she was just staring them ...
A. 9 March 2015: I don't think, she thinks she is better. I think SHE is rather insecure. Meeting your other friends might have meant to her that SHE didn't feel at "important" to you. As for walking into a bar like she owns it, it's NOT hard to fake confidence and ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for my fiance to call his parents and check in with them when we go somewhere
Q. A little background. When my fiancé was in his late 20's he was in bad car accident and he was in a coma for 3 weeks and rehab and then went home after 3 months. That sent his parents into a frantic mode, which would be a normal response to that ...
A. 9 March 2015: If HE is OK with it, I don't see the problem.
They ALMOST lost their "child" and the anxiety from that ALMOST LOST can seemingly be quelled by knowing WHERE he is and when he is travelling, to know he arrived safely.
Now I'm guess (because y... (read in full...)
Should a woman pay for drinks? his drinks?
Q. Should a woman pay for drinks? I have been out with this guy 2 times, the first time he paid for drinks the second time he paid for drinks. Both times I offered to pay but he said he would. The third time we went out in a group so he did not offer ...
A. 9 March 2015: I think it's sort of normal.
I'd pay for my own drinks, honestly. He can then pay for his. Taking turns is fine too.
One thing though, I'd NOT want to share a drink with anyone. IF a guy is THAT cheap get a glass of tap water. but you stay out... (read in full...)
What do I tell my young daughter about her father?
Q. My 2yr old daughter has said to me today wheres daddy after watching all programs that involve a daddy in it, I kinda just brushed it off ?? She's never been in contact with her dad and he doesn't want anything to do with her, my problem is I now...
A. 9 March 2015: I wouldn't lie. I would do as Janniepeg suggest. Tell her (if you know) what he does for a living and that he doesn't live with you you. That some times mommies and daddies don't live together.
I wouldn't go into a long explanation. She doesn't ... (read in full...)
5 years of dating, she cheats on me, now how do I move on?
Q. Today was a very difficult day for me. It was the first day after my ex and I broke up. She cheated on me and for some reason I was able to forgive her. I don't know if I truly do forgive her or if it was just a desperate plea so that I wouldn't be ...
A. 8 March 2015: Most people who have been cheated on think it's their fault. IT ISN'T.
THE cheater CHOOSES to cheat. YOU didn't "make" her cheat.
If you were not paying as much attention to her, or too busy with your own life, MAYBE she then chose to cheat..... (read in full...)
How do I get him to contact me and let me know what I did wrong?
Q. I'm 18 and I started talking to this boy on tinder last month (he's 18 too). We added each other on whatsapp and were talked frequently and then met. Afterwards he messaged me saying all these nice things and how perfect I was. We were talking ...
A. 8 March 2015: My guess? YOU didn't do ANYTHING wrong.
He either was REALLY tired or... he was talking to multiple girls and decided one of the other girls were ma better fit than you.
If you already left a voice message and a message on whatsapp - don't... (read in full...)
Where else can I get help? What else can I do to stop her recurring bullying?
Q. I am in desperate need of some advice here, I'll try and keep it short, thank you in advance. For the past 18 months, I have been dealing with a problem that I thought I had solved. I started off university with a girl I'll call H who became a goo...
A. 8 March 2015: If the Uni can't help you I'm not really sure where else you can get help.
I think she has some serious mental issues. I think that is what you SAW in her once you became her friend. OTHERS will see this too. I think she can easily MAKE friends,... (read in full...)
Why won't my ex give me back my garage door opener? Is she punishing me or does she want me back?
Q. I broke up with my ex about a month ago, we were together almost a year though a LOT of ups and downs. She was frequently insecure and jealous and would always accuse me of trying to sleep with other women. We're talking about friends 10 years ...
A. 8 March 2015: Yes, it's petty revenge.
She feels if she KEEPS the garage door opener YOU have a reason to keep in touch, which means she will BE on your mind.
She is mind-frelling you. It's about control for her.
Get a NEW opener, if you live in a rental,... (read in full...)
Good girl meets bad boy.... do I cut my losses or suggest counseing?
Q. This is your typical good girl meets bad boy story...I have been with my partner for 3.5years and we live together. A year into the relationship, we were living together at this point, he found out I was seeing someone when we first started dating. ...
A. 8 March 2015: I would honestly cut my losses now.
I understand HELPING out paying bills but for you (or him) to be the SOLE breadwinner? No, not a BF/GF
And then the issues about violating your privacy, because HE DID violate it. IT really IS none of his b... (read in full...)
My ex is in a relationship
Q. My ex is in a relationship, the first I know of since we broke up over 5 years ago. Would it be ok to msg her? She did tell me not to msg her again but she use to say things like this all the time when she got pissed of at me. So I haven't msged ...
A. 7 March 2015: No.
You say :"She did tell me not to msg her again ":
SO DO NOT message her. Focus on YOUR life, YOUR relationship - she seems to be doing JUST fine. LET it go.... (read in full...)
My husband blames me for things that I have no control over, he's always mad
Q. I'm not sure what to do here. I've never done this before but I have to talk to someone.... my husband and I have been Together a year. when we were dating things were great but now that we are married not so much. he gets angry alot., like oh ...
A. 7 March 2015: Honey, counseling won't "fix" your husband. Nothing will.
I STRONGLY suggest you look up woman's shelters in your location and TALK to one of their counselors - they can help you with the process of leaving him. Do it at work where he can't ch... (read in full...)
How do I move on from his lies? We loved each other, yet now he's married another girl?
Q. I was in love with a guy. We both loved each other but unfortunately he got married with some other girl from his locality as He told me that his parents arranged his marriage already and he is sorry because he can't do anything.He can't go against ...
A. 7 March 2015: Step away from him AND his wife.
The MOMENT he married someone else you should have walked away. Whether it's an arranged marriage or not, doesn't mean they can't TRY and make it a loving marriage too.
Why did he do it? Because he could. You we... (read in full...)
It went to trial. He was found not guilty. The case is over. why do some people think it's not rape if it was non-consensual but not violent?
Q. I was raped about 18 months ago, people believed me, the police believed me and it went to trial. Unfortunately he was found not guilty. Every now and then I notice some people who I bump into just completely ignore me when they used to talk to me ...
A. 7 March 2015: I'm sorry you went through this. That two people you thought of as friends USED you in their own sick games. But what I REALLY want for you to take away from this, is YOU ARE NOT responsible for their actions and their SICK attitudes.
Rapis... (read in full...)
Trust is in tatters. He wants me to leave. What can I do? It was not my fault that an ex sent me photos.
Q. When I met my boyfriend I told him that a couple of years ago I got involved with a married man, but that I saw my error and nothing come of it. Today when I got home my boyfriend sent his daughter out and said that we needed to talk in private....
A. 7 March 2015: Why was your BF going through your phone? I find that pretty unreasonable. You have YOUR right to privacy.
But here is the thing, your BF is done. You have one option, to move out.
So find a room-mate situation you can afford and move. The... (read in full...)
Is it time I ended my two year relationship with him over his disparaging nasty remarks to me?
Q. My family is going on a vacation. They rented out a nice cabin. They asked my boyfriend if he was interested in possibly coming with. The only catch is they didn't have room in the car for him so he's probably have to drive himself there but they...
A. 7 March 2015: Going PURELY by what he called you, I'd dump him.
Whether he or you should be paying more for whatever is irrelevant. HIM thinking it's OK to call you a retarded bitch, is not.
If he has NEVER told you before that he feels like you are not pull... (read in full...)
I feellike I am his Mum, not his girlfriend!
Q. My boyfriend has always been trouble, but I kind of liked it in the beginning. I guess I have grown up where as he hasn't. I like staying in on a weekend or having friends over for dinner but he says I'm boring if I do that and not to expect him to ...
A. 7 March 2015: You are MORE worried that people might think you are a "bitch" for leaving than having to live a life where you are now his mum/caregiver? Where you are not happy at all?
So, YOU should sacrifice YOUR happiness and peace of mind, so others d... (read in full...)
He sent a text that I said I love but then told me he sis sent it?
Q. I got a text from a guy who used to like me or I'm not sure if he still does. But I like him to and I'm not sure if he knows but he might. It said I love you. I asked if he was being forreal and he said that was my sis sorry. Should I believe him?...
A. 6 March 2015: I would let it slide and NOT presume it was from him.
Did his sister write it? I don't really think so, but that doesn't mean he was serious. Could be he was seeing how you would react. If he knows you like/liked him maybe he wants test the wate... (read in full...)
My bf is NOT good for me. What do I do?
Q. My bf is NOT good for me, at all, and I know I'll be much better off without him in the end but he's gotten into my head so bad that I feel like I can't do any better. He's made me feel like there's numerous women pining for him and how I should be ...
A. 6 March 2015: Sorry, but I see NOTHING you mention being a good trait in a partner, NOTHING.
Your excuse for staying with him is kind of telling:
(and I quote you)
"Yet somehow he's made me so insecure and jealous that I can't find it in me to leave"
H... (read in full...)
My husband blames me for things that I have no control over, he's always mad
Q. I'm not sure what to do here. I've never done this before but I have to talk to someone.... my husband and I have been Together a year. when we were dating things were great but now that we are married not so much. he gets angry alot., like oh ...
A. 6 March 2015: I'm with the ladies.
There is no fixing this. He HID his abusive side JUST long enough to get you to marry him, and now the cat is out of the bag. It will escalate.
IT IS NEVER OK for a person to hit his/her spouse. NEVER. There just ISN'T... (read in full...)
He has too much baggage but I don't have the courage to break up with him!
Q. Well, I'm trying to put an end to my 6 month relationship but I'm having a bit of trouble. I can't quite figure out my feelings towards him. To briefly describe my relationship, I've always had second thoughts about us, but really wanted to try to m...
A. 6 March 2015: I agree, IF you REALLY think he is suicidal and not just trying to manipulate you, CALL his mom/dad and let them know that he threatened with suicide.
I would also suggest you STOP talking to him. I know you don't want him to hurt himself (that IS... (read in full...)
Did my ex's friend request to be friends on FB because he likes me or wants to keep tabs on me for my ex?
Q. My now ex boyfriend and I have been growing apart for months due to his financial hardships. My ex boyfriend has allowed my career success to make him insecure. It appears that he thinks that I am going to meet a guy that is equally successful as me ...
A. 6 March 2015: Eh I think it really doesn't matter. The guy is a FRIEND of your ex, you already got of that bad rodeo so WHY care what a friend of this thinks?
I suggest you keep ignoring the requests and LOOK elsewhere for guys to date, preferable GUYS who aren... (read in full...)
A bit soon, no?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been dating for 5 months. I'm 20 graduation from college in a year and she's 19. She wants to have my kid and get married already. Should I be worried?...
A. 5 March 2015: YES
5 months is WAY to soon for this. I'd say DO NOT have kids unless you want to marry her. And do not marry her unless you WANT to spend the rest of your life with her. These kind of decisions shouldn't be taken lightly, and while she might TH... (read in full...)
Are these signs this guy is a player or not interested(even though he has a girlfriend)?
Q. -Never makes much effort to see me and only when he's away will he talk about us catching up next, but when he's home doesn't initiate anything. -Acts flirty over text, never answers phone calls, acts cold/distant in real life. -When we're 'f...
A. 5 March 2015: Why would he be interested if he HAS a GF?
Why would he introduce you to his family when he has a GF?
YOU are not really a friend. You are someone he he plays "games" with. And no, I don't think he is interested in you in "that" way. You ... (read in full...)
Surely if she was as interested as I was, she'd be doing more to keep in contact?
Q. I have no trouble speaking to women, in fact I'm quite a flirt. Intimate encounters aren't hard for me to achieve either, I know how to show a girl a good time. But when it comes to relationships I'm entirely unlucky, having never had more than fle...
A. 4 March 2015: I think you "read" her right. She isn't that into you. Even a shy girl would find time if they were keen on the guy.
My guess is, she felt you two weren't a great match at all (personality wise) She probably felt you were a typical player/c... (read in full...)
He has too much baggage but I don't have the courage to break up with him!
Q. Well, I'm trying to put an end to my 6 month relationship but I'm having a bit of trouble. I can't quite figure out my feelings towards him. To briefly describe my relationship, I've always had second thoughts about us, but really wanted to try to m...
A. 24 February 2015: I think the BIGGEST reason you haven't dumped him yet, is because you don't want to be "mean" to him. The second biggest, is that you RATHER (and that is sad) date this LOSER than be alone.
So my suggestion, you two are not compatible. You have... (read in full...)
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