Do you think it is a reasonable action on my part to ask my boyfriend for a loan? I don't think I can ask anyone else
Q. I'm a young female who is currently going through a struggle financially. I had lost my job and am in the process of finding a new one. I've been in a serious relationship with a great man for over 3 years. He has a great job and does good for hi...
A. 13 May 2015: How big of a loan are we talk and what is the money for?
... (read in full...)
Should I have to give up on my dream of travelling?
Q. I have been with my partner for four years, he is studying at university and I am working full times and have been since I was 18. The thing is I am suffering through some hard times and I want to get away from my home town for a bit. My dream ...
A. 13 May 2015: If you HAVE vacation time and a good friend (preferably female) then why not start out with something easy? Like Inter-rail through Europe?
I have done that twice (ticket is valid a month) with a bunch of female friends (we got the ticket with the... (read in full...)
When is my man likely to feel motivated enough to tell me that he loves me? what could be holding him back?
Q. When will my man say that he loves me? We've been together for 4 months. I've asked some of my girlfriends and they've said he should have said it after about 3 months. We spend every free moment we can together, we have similar interests, he al...
A. 13 May 2015: There is no SET IN STONE date/time frame someone SHOULD say it.
IF he SHOWS you that he loves you and care for you the words are second best. ANYONE can say the ILY, but showing it? I'd take that over some words.
Your friends might THINK he s... (read in full...)
An I over-reacting? My boy friend wants to spend some quality time with each of his children.
Q. Ok so I really need some advice... I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years and he has two kids ages 12 and 10 from a previous marriage... he's a wonderful father and that's one of the many reasons I fell in love with him, well anyway...
A. 13 May 2015: If you don't think it's fair, TALK to your BF. There is much else you can do.
I still think taking HIS kids camping is what a decent Dad would do. It's summer vacation for the kids.
YOUR 2 year old is not really missing out on the camping. Per... (read in full...)
Guy from work asked me out on FB and didn't accept "no"!
Q. SORRY THIS IS LONG I AM VERY WORRIED PLEASE PLEAsE HELP ME. Need to explain.. I accepted a friend request on FB from a male work colleague. Stupid I know please dont hate on me and I shouldn't have I know, I hate myself for it!! please I'm ...
A. 13 May 2015: Stick to your plan that you will stay professional and just gauge his reactions.
Some people can't take a no. This is one of those people. But whether he can take it or not, you have to STICK to your guns.
If he asks, then yes tell him, YOU ma... (read in full...)
Why do some guys chose to ignore you rather than be upfront?
Q. (Sorry for the long post) Even when in the beginning I have repeatedly told him to be honest with me even if it hurts. Why is it now that he refuses to tell me how he still feel towards me? He said he usually gets over a girl after a week etc. but...
A. 13 May 2015:
Why?
It's hard to say. Maybe he DID realize that he was messing with a married woman and that is a no-no for most people. It's also a magnet for drama.
JUST because you TOLD him that you want him to be honest with you, doesn't MEAN he was ... (read in full...)
How do you act when you your boyfriend and his ex will all be at a function?
Q. In a situation where you have to spend a reasonable amount of time at a function where both your partner and his ex are present, how do you handle it? Do you act like the ex is a stranger and only talk to them if they talk to you? Do you seek them ...
A. 13 May 2015: Act with grace and dignity.
Which means if you RUN into her, say hi, how are you?. Be polite. Doesn't mean you have to stand around chatting. The whole ignore would come off as insecure or petty. (even if it was just NOT knowing what to do).
... (read in full...)
Her actions hurt me . Should I continue to 'see' her or block her on social media?
Q. I know this question is going to sound trivial compared to some questions, but I don't know whether to keep or block a 'friend' on Facebook who pretends everything is ok when really it isn't. The fact is - we fell out over a guy a few months back ...
A. 12 May 2015: Does it make you look bitter? WHO CARES? WHY care if she thinks you are bitter or not?
She wasn't and isn't a friend so there IS NO rule that says you have to keep her around.
If blocking her, and hiding her feeds or just un-friending her... (read in full...)
Why didn't he end up texting me??
Q. I was out one night with my friend at a bar and this guy opposite me kept looking at me, we proceeded to go to a club very near by and I turned around and not long after, he was coming into the club as well. As the night went on I saw him again. H...
A. 12 May 2015: Yes, I will also guess that he was on the prowl for a NSA hook up and that HE NOTICED you, noticing him, so he followed you to the club and found a way to converse with you, hoping that you interest in him was sexual.
If SEX was his goal and you ... (read in full...)
Despite knowing that we were never meant to be together, why does this break-up hurt like it does?
Q. Hey there. I've got a pretty basic question. I was in a relationship for about 7 months and things were good. We were extremely healthy. Never fought, got along great, and the sex was awesome. But deep down, I always knew she wasn't the girl...
A. 12 May 2015: Just because you dated her more for "fun" then because you thought you had a future doesn't mean you didn't get somewhat emotionally invested in being with her.
And sometimes people don't figure THAT out till after they break up.
Relationships... (read in full...)
Do men judge a woman/potential girlfriends by how much money she has?
Q. Do men judge a woman/potential girlfriends by how much money she has? I'm a 26 year old who does simply okay for myself, nothing great. I don't drive an expensive car (my car is 8 years old) or wear brand name clothing or expensive jewelry, an...
A. 12 May 2015: The fact that you have your own place, your own car AND a job I think means more than you dressing like you had millions.
The fact that you CARRY yourself would be a big plus.
I don't think men look at women as providers in the same was as SOME... (read in full...)
B/f asked me to go with him to see a place and I asked what it mean and now he's backing off?
Q. Boyfriend talked about us needing more space, arranged a viewing on a house, we went to see it with his son who was really excited. Commenting on all the rooms, we could use this for this, the gardrn would be perfect for that etc. Talked about it ...
A. 12 May 2015: I agree. He wanted your input on the place, NOT to ask you to move in. Sometimes it helps having someone who ISN'T so invested in a home along with you to point out the good and the bad.
We had my BIL with us last time we looked at houses, ... (read in full...)
My ex wants to be FWB. Should I?
Q. Okay so I need a bit of advice. A good friend of mine, we will call him Mark, used to date me. Another friend, we will call her Amber, decided she was going to be a not so good friend and steal him away. Mark and Amber were together for about 3 ...
A. 12 May 2015: I'd give Mark a pass too. YOU still care for him even though he left for you for another girl, and now that he ISN'T getting any sex from HER any more, he re-kindled a "friendship" with you because HE KNOWS you still care and thus MAYBE will be ... (read in full...)
She knows I'm upset with her as I've acted off but I haven't told her why. Any suggestions please?
Q. I'm at university at the moment. My girlfriend and I have been going out since late October, before that we were seeing eachother and she went home for the weekend and slept with her friend. They never used to go out they just had sex (f-buddi...
A. 11 May 2015: She thinks if she tells you everything it's OK - because she isn't hiding anything or lying... BUT she IS lying. Showing stuff to the "girls" back home is a LIE.
Now going by what you write I can see who she can feel sex with him is without feel... (read in full...)
I feel very guilty after I watch porn. How can I resolve these problems?
Q. Hello, I feel very guilty after I watch porn. I typically only watch it once every few months, so it is by no means a habit or addiction. I have been single for a while, and don't feel comfortable with random hookups, but I do get rather sex...
A. 11 May 2015: So stop watching. Start using your imagination to masturbate.
I think your therapist is giving you questionable advice in saying you should do some FWB... How does that FIT in with your faith?
It's NOT uncommon for women to not feel "right" abo... (read in full...)
How do I get my boyfriend's attention off of porn and on to me?
Q. How do a get my boyfriends attention off of porn and back onto me cuz we have NO and when i say NO i mean NOOOOOO. sex life anymore. Plz help I'm desperate here he has a serious addiction to porn....
A. 11 May 2015: How do you get his attention off porn and unto you?
You don't, you dump him. He is WAY more invest in pron and his right (or left) hand than he is in you. And I'd let him ride off into the sunset jerking himself off RATHER than waste another ... (read in full...)
Should I drop a hint to my girlfriend that my birthday is coming up soon?
Q. My Birthday is coming up soon. I've been with my g/f since the start of the year, and we dated a bit end of last year. I haven't hinted at the timing of my birthday, nor has she asked when it is. I don't think any mutual friends know for sure wh...
A. 11 May 2015: I think just telling her the date and suggest you two go to dinner would be a NICE way to GIVE her the chance to pamper you a little, and MAKE her feel INCLUDED in your life.
Some people don't DO birthdays (my husband) but I don't GIVE a fly's fa... (read in full...)
He doesn't even try anymore. How to put the sparkle back into our relationship?
Q. I have 2 kids with the guy i've been with for 3 years . He slept for half of mothers day, we got some icecream when i demanded it but he also got to wash his car while i ate the icecream in the car. I complimented him the whole day without hear...
A. 11 May 2015: I'm with Eyeswideopen!
You can't FIX a broken relationship ALL by yourself. I get that if he is as young as you (18-21) having 2 kids is a HUGE responsibility, BUT is it not JUST as big (if not bigger) for YOU as the mother? And could he NOT have... (read in full...)
We've been dating for 3 months but he never wants to call or text?
Q. I need help. I am dating someone who never calls me and rarely texts me. We have been dating for 3 months, and he says that he wants to "take things slow." Is this normal? I am all for not rushing into things, but wouldn't a guy want to talk to ...
A. 11 May 2015: I would just bring it up on the next date. IF you like to call/text at least once a day I would tell him instead of over analyzing WHY he isn't doing it. It might BE that his last GF was a text-bomber and all he really wants is a GF who isn't ... (read in full...)
Two babies have changed my body. Guys are stretch marks and saggy boobs a turn off? Gals did you feel indecure about your body after pregnancy?
Q. I have a question to both the men and women on this site. How do you feel about stretch marks and saggy boobs? Please be honest. I am a recent single mom and I gave birth and breast fed 2 beautiful daughters almost back to back and my body ...
A. 11 May 2015: Bio-oil helps with fading the stretchmarks. (not for other people, but for you).
I have had 3 kids, ALL BIG babies, but I used cocoa-butter "religiously" and only had one minor stretchmarks. Now while I DO think the cocoa-butter helped... GENETICS... (read in full...)
Was I wrong to send his Mom flowers? My Bf's family treat poorly and bully me.
Q. I have been in a relationship,three years. my boyfriend's family hates me, no overplay on the word, hate; believe me, I wish I was. His sisters bully me at every opportunity they get. BTW, I am not young, I am in my 50's. I have no family ...
A. 11 May 2015: You have to DO what's RIGHT for you and you certainly can't live around a guy trying to please his family.
I honestly think you are better off WITHOUT all the drama that comes with this guy.
Good luck and CHIN UP!... (read in full...)
My boyfriend dumped me for going to a strip club
Q. My boyfriend dumped me cause I went to a strip club. He's been with friends and though he warned me he was jealous, I never knew he'd go so far. My friend took me and I had no idea we were headed there. I know I could have left but it didn't seem a ...
A. 11 May 2015: Be GLAD he dumped you now. This ridiculous and misogynist double-standard is just the beginning. Next you can't talk to other guys, or wear short(er) skirts, revealing outfits, can't wear to much make up....... Because HE will JUST be jealous.
... (read in full...)
It's 'her way or the highway'. She doesn't respond. Yet is quick to ask a favor if she needs help. Is this 'friendship' over?
Q. I have a friend who I've known since HS. We met through another friend who neither of us keep in touch with much now. One time I canceled plans with this friend because I had a second date with a guy. She got SO mad at me- even though our plans...
A. 11 May 2015: I agree with the other two ladies. STOP making the effort a while.
And if she contacts you ONLY because SHE wants something from you, you can always tell her no, sorry I'm busy. If you have no other plans and want to go, then go.
I had a REALL... (read in full...)
I texted him but he didn't respond. Did I cross the line?
Q. Hi I need advice. I met someone at uni and we get along really well. I love his company. I have fallen head over heels for him. I have tried for weeks to ask him if he would like to go for a drink.. But I didn't have the courage. He has the ...
A. 10 May 2015: 1. are you 100% sure it was HIS number?
2. If it was his number and he never replied there can be several reasons. a. he didn't know who sent it. b. he isn't interested and don't have the nuts to say no thanks c. he never got the text.
3. NEVE... (read in full...)
I had a fall out with a friend and then she asked me to be the maid of honor in her wedding. Why?
Q. I have grown up with a group of girls who I have known since nursery age and as we have all grown up we have been with each other through a lot. When I recently had my daughter, a particular friend told me that I was stupid to have a child so young...
A. 10 May 2015: If I were you I'd consider IF you are willing to DO all the work a MOH does. THERE are a LOT of things the MOH is in charge off.
So decide if you WANT to do it or not first. If you do, take it as an olive-branch and DO the BEST job as a MOH can ... (read in full...)
Nobody turned up to my leaving party, including the guy I fancy. I'm so embarassed, should I confront them?
Q. So after working hard in job for four years, I started to realise I wasn't getting anywhere and thought I could make more of myself. I found a really good new job that I haven't started yet, and handed my notice in at work, giving myself 2 weeks off ...
A. 10 May 2015: I don't see what you will accomplish by confronting anyone. I DO get your anger, I find that people are increasingly forgetting to use COMMON manners, such as calling if you are going to be a no-show.
Don't feel silly, you meant it as a nice goo... (read in full...)
What do you think about coincidences?
Q. I know , it's i not about relationships, but maybe I will find some good answers. So I'm a very logical person, and studied science and psychology for many years. I m not religious. My biggest issue is , that coincidences are driving me crazy...
A. 10 May 2015: Well, if you go by it's definition:
"a remarkable concurrence of events or circumstances without apparent causal connection."
Some call it a fluke (neutral event)
Some call it fate or luck(y) (good event)
Some call them an accident (negati... (read in full...)
I now try to avoid her. Would it be wrong to ignore my co-worker when she says 'hi' to me at work?
Q. One of my co worker pointed out that I had put on weight in front of other 2 co workers that she works with on her overnight shifts. Then she was like ``Canadians don't want to be told ``with smile on her face. Then she had the nerve to ask me if I ...
A. 9 May 2015: EDIT...
I would like a person like that or want to BE around her, but..
Should have read...
I wouldn't like a person like that or want to BE around her, but..... (read in full...)
My husband and I agreed not to spend another Mother's Day with his mother, but she won't stop asking us to come over!
Q. My husband and I don't know what to do anymore, his mom and sister always make plans whenever holiday is near even going on vacations and if we got plans they will get angry saying we are selfish and don't want to spend times with them. It's driving ...
A. 9 May 2015: I'd ignore her texts. You two showed up for a "pre-Mother's Day and "celebrated" that with her.
We don't really celebrate Morther's Day in our house (as my birthday is a few days before) but we DID go out to dinner on my birthday (kids in tow) and... (read in full...)
I now try to avoid her. Would it be wrong to ignore my co-worker when she says 'hi' to me at work?
Q. One of my co worker pointed out that I had put on weight in front of other 2 co workers that she works with on her overnight shifts. Then she was like ``Canadians don't want to be told ``with smile on her face. Then she had the nerve to ask me if I ...
A. 9 May 2015: I don't think either of us said you had to GO OUT of your way to talk to her. But you are at work, so private dislikes doesn't (or shouldn't) interfere with your PROFESSIONAL job.
And I DO think if you start to ignore her, she will up the ante. Fi... (read in full...)
Why do some affairs last longer than others?
Q. Why do some extra marital affairs last for only a short time, for example, a couple of months or weeks or just a one night stand? As opposed to affairs which last for years and are still going strong? What is the difference? Just curious wh...
A. 9 May 2015: No idea.
I have never cheated, never will.
My guess is some grow a backbone and end it sooner rather than later. Others feel justified in cheating and thus continue for longer.... (read in full...)
I am struggling with severe financial stress. How can I cope with this?
Q. Hey guys getting straight to the story, I've been in a bad financial situation for some time now. First off, I am In my mid 20's and I have big student loans and some other debt, like lots of people. My problem is I seem to be really strugglin...
A. 9 May 2015: Have you sat down and made a budget?
Like food, internet, phone, car payments, car insurance, cable, utilities and so forth?
If not, get to it.
Then LOOK at each item and see where you ca cut down. Like you phone... you can post on DC with ... (read in full...)
An I over-reacting? My boy friend wants to spend some quality time with each of his children.
Q. Ok so I really need some advice... I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years and he has two kids ages 12 and 10 from a previous marriage... he's a wonderful father and that's one of the many reasons I fell in love with him, well anyway...
A. 9 May 2015: I agree with CodeWarrior
Wouldn't be the first time a story changes because they are not getting the "advice" they want to hear.
... (read in full...)
My Wife Is So Boring and Lazy in Sex Now - Anyone Else Have a Partner Like This?
Q. I have been married for 07 (seven) years. I love my wife but sex has gotten boring. Don't get me wrong, if SHE would want to do it like we used to it would not be boring for me. I always try to 'get it going' the "old way" but she just makes me no...
A. 9 May 2015: I think she is either bored with the sex. She just wants it over with. Did she have kids? That can also make a woman less interested in sex (as sex leads to kids and she might not WANT another one right now).
I can tell you this, having a selfish ... (read in full...)
Clearly we have some kind of emotional affair going on but what now?
Q. I met a guy 3yrs ago through a mutual friend, there seemed to be an instant attraction on both sides the chat was flowing and then he slips out that he has a girlfriend, gutted! Anyway I decided right then to back off. He lives over 2 hrs away ...
A. 9 May 2015: What now?
Nothing. He isn't going to leave his girl, you aren't going to leave your man. He is ENJOYING having his EGO rubbed by another woman, it makes him feel like HE still "got it". It's not really about you... ANY woman could do for him, as ... (read in full...)
Should I have to pay my ex gf any money back?
Q. My gf moved in with me 2 years ago. She didn't like the way my house was decorated and insisted I get it re-decorated. I own the house. I certainly couldn't afford the whole cost, and my gf earns pretty well. We agreed to split the cost, at £5000...
A. 9 May 2015: Personally? no. She didn't GIVE you a loan. SHE made DEMANDS that you update things FOR her to live there. And now that she no longer lives there, she wants the money back, HOW convenient for her!
Now these updates MIGHT have improves on the mark... (read in full...)
I'm broken, my husband is watching daddy-daughter porn
Q. Sorry if you get this twice I tried to do it secretly but closed out before I got the secret code. So I signed up to ask my question. My husband has battled porn all his life porn addiction isn't new to this family or the emotional effect it has ...
A. 9 May 2015: So it's not ACTUAL child pornography but porn with a "incestuous theme" which DOES make a difference. (in my book).
While I would NOT want to BE (sexually or otherwise - yes when it come to this I'm a prude) with a man who thinks the whole "d... (read in full...)
I now try to avoid her. Would it be wrong to ignore my co-worker when she says 'hi' to me at work?
Q. One of my co worker pointed out that I had put on weight in front of other 2 co workers that she works with on her overnight shifts. Then she was like ``Canadians don't want to be told ``with smile on her face. Then she had the nerve to ask me if I ...
A. 9 May 2015: I agree with Sage, don't use "ignore" with her - that would be passive-aggressive.. Instead say hi, be polite, don't stop and talk, if she tries to chat just say sorry busy and walk away, KEEP doing that while SEEMINGLY professional and MAYBE she ... (read in full...)
I'm broken, my husband is watching daddy-daughter porn
Q. Sorry if you get this twice I tried to do it secretly but closed out before I got the secret code. So I signed up to ask my question. My husband has battled porn all his life porn addiction isn't new to this family or the emotional effect it has ...
A. 9 May 2015: I would report this. I know with 6 kids this would be hard, because IF he gets tossed in jail (and he should for buying child porn) - but YOU have to PROTECT your kids.
I get that you are more then just disgusted you feel paralyzed.
BUT thi... (read in full...)
He asked for 2 months of space. Should I give it to him?
Q. Its about my boyfriend who left me when i was pregnant and came.back when our son turning to 1 years old. I accepted him for he sincerely asked my parents forgiveness and acceptance. He brought his family to my parents to talk about marriage thing. ...
A. 9 May 2015: He isn't mature enough to be a partner or husband. JUST look at how he RUNS every time things get tough. You got pregnant... he ran. (betting his PARENTS made him ask for forgiveness to your parents, that wasn't HIS choice.)
Then he OFFERS m... (read in full...)
Where do I stand with this guy? He didn't ask me out after our third date.
Q. Hello All, I have been talking to this guy from work almost 3 weeks. On our 2nd date, I made a mistake bringing it up where was his craziest place to have sex? Since that time he started to text me that he wants to hold me ... Etc Last w...
A. 9 May 2015: My guess?
He was looking to get laid and ready to give it a 3 "dates" effort, but when you said no, he figured you wouldn't be an easy lay after all, hence the looking for another girl (getting phone numbers).
Sorry, but I would NOT contac... (read in full...)
An I over-reacting? My boy friend wants to spend some quality time with each of his children.
Q. Ok so I really need some advice... I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years and he has two kids ages 12 and 10 from a previous marriage... he's a wonderful father and that's one of the many reasons I fell in love with him, well anyway...
A. 9 May 2015: Ah, I see where this is leading.
Instead of this being about you not liking it, now it's your son.
How old is he?
And WHY can you not take the opportunity to have some one-on-one time with YOUR son? Honestly, why not jump at the chance o... (read in full...)
An I over-reacting? My boy friend wants to spend some quality time with each of his children.
Q. Ok so I really need some advice... I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years and he has two kids ages 12 and 10 from a previous marriage... he's a wonderful father and that's one of the many reasons I fell in love with him, well anyway...
A. 9 May 2015: What is it you don't understand?
That his kids are a priority in his life? Or that he wants to spend some solo time with them?
If you don't understand it, TALK to him.
As for not having a car, year I get that it would be sucky to be stu... (read in full...)
An I over-reacting? My boy friend wants to spend some quality time with each of his children.
Q. Ok so I really need some advice... I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years and he has two kids ages 12 and 10 from a previous marriage... he's a wonderful father and that's one of the many reasons I fell in love with him, well anyway...
A. 8 May 2015: I think he is doing this MORE for the kids then for himself. THEY might WANT/NEED some one-on-one time with their dad, that is not meant to INSULT you or EXCLUDE you, but I think it's a good thing for him to spend some solo-time with HIS kids.
... (read in full...)
Was I wrong to send his Mom flowers? My Bf's family treat poorly and bully me.
Q. I have been in a relationship,three years. my boyfriend's family hates me, no overplay on the word, hate; believe me, I wish I was. His sisters bully me at every opportunity they get. BTW, I am not young, I am in my 50's. I have no family ...
A. 8 May 2015: I'm glad the mom called and thanked you. That means She understood your gesture as a nice one.
As for the sister? Whew! she sounds like someone who has so many issues and someone who refuses to take responsibility for her own actions.
I think... (read in full...)
Was I wrong to send his Mom flowers? My Bf's family treat poorly and bully me.
Q. I have been in a relationship,three years. my boyfriend's family hates me, no overplay on the word, hate; believe me, I wish I was. His sisters bully me at every opportunity they get. BTW, I am not young, I am in my 50's. I have no family ...
A. 7 May 2015: Nope, I think you DID a VERY sweet thing in sending her flowers. IF the woman and the rest of the family can't appreciate that, well SCREW them!
You sent your MIL flowers for Mother's Day in good faith and as a nice gesture - they CAN and WILL tak... (read in full...)
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