How do I tell my boss that I can't come to work as I'm already booked to attend a convention? Not sure how to break the news.
Q. Modnote: poster clarified that she holds 2 jobs. One weekdays Mon-Fri and one part time at weekends. .............................................................. I work as a Nanny full-time 9-5 Monday through Friday. A week or so ago, she told me ...
A. 19 May 2015: Well, I'm glad you told her and that she realized he doesn't "own" you.
Enjoy you vacation and hopefully your next employer will be a less "dramatic" person.
... (read in full...)
He smothers me and I no longer feel butterflies when we talk. Is it time to end this LDR?
Q. So,this guy and I had been dating off and on for a few years now. We recently got back together, though I think it was out of pity for him. He's very clingy, and he smothers me a bit. We're in a long distance relationship, so we don't talk as much ...
A. 5 May 2015: LDR doesn't work unless there is a COMMON GOAL to BE together geographically and physically at some point, otherwise it's more of a online FWB/pen-pal relationship.
It seem you are OVER this relationship, so yes you should end it. It's HARDLY f... (read in full...)
Why are (many) women disgusted by sexual interest from an older man?
Q. At work, I have been told by young girls that some of the older "gentlemen" touch them and make passes at them (ignoring the illegal aspect, some reason why they don't officially complain), and these girls have complained to me about it, also saying ...
A. 5 May 2015: I don't know what kind of work place this is, but I simply can't imagine 20 year old behaving like that (wanting one old guy to fondle them back) - I can't imagine a work environment that is that ridiculous to be honest.
My guess is THEY KNOW he ... (read in full...)
Why is she contacting me again? What is she trying to achieve?
Q. In my freshman year of college, I befriended a girl who I thought was a cool person. However, as we grew closer, I realized she was not a very cool person. She's a manipulative, selfish, immature, clingy/needy, bitch. She's told me some of the thin...
A. 5 May 2015: I think she has mental issues FAR beyond what you know. And all you CAN do is KEEP the no contact. BLOCK her from social media, and DELETE her, check your privacy setting so SHE CAN'T contact you/find you or go through FRIENDS of yours to keep tabs ... (read in full...)
How else could I have handled this situation? Am I wrong to be upset at his behaviour?
Q. I met my husband and child at a restaurant (took separate cars due to a reason) I parked my car then got out and looked around to see where they were. I waited for a while then called him asking where they were. He tells me they are inside t...
A. 5 May 2015: I think it was a case of misunderstanding. I see NOTHING wrong in taking the child INSIDE and sitting down instead of waiting around in the parking lot.
Ordering food without you? Yes, that would be a no go for me.
I DO think he could have te... (read in full...)
Why are (many) women disgusted by sexual interest from an older man?
Q. At work, I have been told by young girls that some of the older "gentlemen" touch them and make passes at them (ignoring the illegal aspect, some reason why they don't officially complain), and these girls have complained to me about it, also saying ...
A. 4 May 2015: One old "fart" is making UNWANTED attentions and inappropriate physical contact the OTHER (the married one) IS NOT - so JUST going by that... I can see why ANY women would like #2 better. They SEE him as a GENTLEMAN WHO TREAT them with respect. THAT ... (read in full...)
My husband and I need help setting boundaries with his parents
Q. This is our second marriage. His parents are elderly in their late 70's but the father keeps very active and they both have their minds. My parents are deceased. I really wanted to go out on Mother's Day to a restaurant (restaurants are...
A. 4 May 2015: Honestly, GO out to dinner another time. It DOESN'T make a dinner MORE significant because it lands on a COMMERCIAL holiday. Same with Valentine's Day.
I'd tell your husband to DUST his own collections. I can't see WHY you should have to do that.... (read in full...)
Has my behaviour pushed her away?
Q. To some of you, this may be familiar. This is a little follow-on from previous events if you remember the last question. This girl and I work together (let's call her M). We have/had a great friendship; we would often say how much we miss each oth...
A. 4 May 2015: I guess all the previous advice you got feel for deaf ears by you. So now you see the consequences of your choices.
You make the presumption that she WANTS to be your BEST BUDDY (or rather your GF) you even asked her if you were friend. best fri... (read in full...)
Would I be better returning to my own place? Why are my parents subjecting me to this? Will it get better?
Q. Six months ago, my parents offered me their apartment for 2 years until they decide to retire and move into it. The expectations are that I have to pay my bills and the rent is free. The reason why they offered me this is so that I can rent out my ...
A. 4 May 2015: Yes, I remember your last post. You bought a bike and your mom blew up because she wants you to save up EVERY penny you can.. right?
I know I said in the last post THAT I would move out of this unit and let your parents KNOW they CAN NOT control ... (read in full...)
He just just sits there steaming. Why doesn't my husband of ten years accept that sometimes people do want to give me a compliment?
Q. I was wondering if anyone could help....my husband of 10 years hates when people compliment me. If we go anywhere and someone tells me I'm pretty he cringes. I always respond with a nice thank you. He just just sits there steaming. Why?? ...
A. 4 May 2015: I would just tell him, YOU look nice too with a smile and THEN ignore his little tantrum.
I do think SVC is right, he is worried that you might want to check out greener lawns.
Does HE compliment you at all? ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for me to feel turned off by my bfs porn use? The porn is always portrayed with younger women
Q. Is it normal for me to feel turned off by my bfs porn use? Knowing that he is watching and getting off to younger women who nearly always look perfect seems to affect my sex drive with him and I can't seem to feel sexy . I am a healthy woman in...
A. 4 May 2015: Most porn is MADE by men FOR men. They cater to the male ego. They USE young women because THAT is what SELLS the most porn, it makes some men think that THEY too can get a hot young babe in their bed, even if they can't. PORN is fantasy. And a ... (read in full...)
Should I stay away from my ex-emotional affair partner, even if I think he needs help?
Q. I have no contact for 4 months with the guy I had an "emotional affair" with. It's been close to a year now since it happened. I still hear about him because we have common friends. I tried to cut them off too for self-preservation but they've ...
A. 4 May 2015: Calling him, contacting him is not magically going to make make work hard and be a great guy.
It can VERY well be that something shitty is going on in his life, it can be that THIS is who he is.
I would let him be. This is no longer your conc... (read in full...)
I would like to have a real future with him. He is married and he and I had a relationship earlier. Am I hoping for too much?
Q. I have had an affair with a guy for about three years and I ended it when I realised he was not going to leave his wife. We have been on friendly terms ever since. Now, 4 years later I am going trough a really,really rough time and he helps me ...
A. 4 May 2015: You spend 3 years in this affair and he didn't leave his wife. So WHY would he do that now?
You can go ahead and WASTE more of your time and life on a man who IS NOT and WILL NOT be yours.
Being there for you is NOT that hard, it doesn't requi... (read in full...)
Despite the difficulties I still love her. But what to do? My daughter thinks that I should ask her to leave
Q. My partner is causing me concern in that she does the complete opposite of what is asked of her, when we got together she was very quiet and then after a couple of weeks she started talking to me with rude words. I told her that I dont take this typ...
A. 4 May 2015: You daughter is right, kick this lady out. She doesn't want to be in a relationship with you, but she DOES want to take advantage...
And if she is FIT enough to go out drinking all night.... SHE is fit enough to move out of your house.
STOP wa... (read in full...)
The smell of smokers is a turn-off for me. Was it wrong of me to reject her? What else could I do?
Q. I am a guy who doesn't seem to have problems attracting girls. I can't stand girls when they are drunk or smokers, also both because of the smell. The drunk ones are not an issue, as I tell them that when we meet, she should refrain from drinkin...
A. 4 May 2015: I'm a former smoker who quit because of the smell and the simple bad habit. I'm glad I quit though it wasn't for someone else, just for me.
It smells bad. It cling to hair, skin and clothes and no matter how hard people try it's NOT hard to sniff... (read in full...)
What should I do about this so called 'friend'?
Q. Ok basically I thought I was close to my work colleague, I treated her like best my friend, she even came to my wedding. She helped me through a really bad time in my life many years ago too and she has also helped me to move house. Then I got pre...
A. 4 May 2015: Drop her. You owe her nothing any more, not AFTER she treated you the way she did.
There could be a good reason (such as she lost a baby and couldn't handle seeing yours) but, if that was the case I would have presumed she would have told you as y... (read in full...)
How to judge this right, do I wait and see what happens?
Q. I work in a small office of about a dozen people. A few weeks ago, a new colleague joined the team - a girl of similar age to me. From the first moment, I knew she was really special. She's beautiful, smart, wonderfully kind, friendly and easy to ...
A. 3 May 2015: She has been there a few week so... pump your break with all this "OH I LOVE HER" talk. You are infatuated by her, I get that but just slow down a tad.
GET to know her. Who knows maybe she already HAS a BF and then your declaration will lead onl... (read in full...)
I'm pissed that I told my BF I missed him in a text and he did not bother to reply back!I'm pissed that I told my BF I missed him in a text and he did not bother to reply back!
Q. Why does it bother me so much that I sent my boyfriend a text saying "Have a good night. Miss you." And nothing. No response. No "I miss you too." It was five hours ago. He was out with his family for dinner and texted me to touch base. I texted ...
A. 3 May 2015: Amen to YouWish's advice.
YOU did overreact. I think people have this notion that texting is OH so vital for a relationship, it really isn't.
DO not carry on a relationship via text.
... (read in full...)
What should I say or do, how can I recover this relationship?
Q. my boyfriend has been busy for the last 2 weeks and didn't have the time to meet me or talk to me ! he was able to see me for 30 minutes only during the last 2 weeks ! i felt that he is ignoring me ! i was so lonely and i felt that i waited t...
A. 3 May 2015: First rule of texting... NEVER text drunk.
Second of all, STOP texting and calling. IF you hear from him. You can explain the drunk texting. IF he doesn't, well learn from this.
Being MAD or UPSET that he isn't responding doesn't mean you... (read in full...)
What can I do about this family situation?
Q. Hi everyone! Hoping you can help with some relative troubles! Just before I start I think it would be relevant to say I have not got a close knit family. My immediate family (me, mum, dad and sis) are very very close and happy and for that reason ...
A. 3 May 2015: I would block her from viewing your pictures for one. Then I would either block HER number or hide notifications.
... (read in full...)
Am I fit for marriage? My anxiety over my penis size is worrying me. Don't want my bride disappointed in me.
Q. Friends, Need a suggestion from you friends, Im from India aged 28 and getting married to a girl who is 26 in 2 months. From the date of my engagement im worried about my length of my penis, When erect its 5.2 to 5.5 inch. When i measure from...
A. 3 May 2015: Size has nothing to do with infertility. If small penises couldn't make a baby... men with small penises couldn't produce off spring and thus couldn't pass on the gene that produces smaller penises...
... (read in full...)
Am I fit for marriage? My anxiety over my penis size is worrying me. Don't want my bride disappointed in me.
Q. Friends, Need a suggestion from you friends, Im from India aged 28 and getting married to a girl who is 26 in 2 months. From the date of my engagement im worried about my length of my penis, When erect its 5.2 to 5.5 inch. When i measure from...
A. 2 May 2015: I would WORRY less about the SIZE of your penis and MORE about HOW to be a good husband and lover.
Big penis doesn't equate to GOOD lover. And little penis doesn't mean BAD lover.
You are absolutely average sized. ... (read in full...)
Met him in a water polo. Based on his action, do you think he like me?
Q. i met a guy in my waterpolo class in the fall that I unintentionally fell for. Over the winter break, I added him on fb and messaged him about the class once, to which he replied immediately. We didn't have class together in the winter, so I didn't...
A. 2 May 2015: This is the 5th time you ask more or less the same question. I think maybe you should either TAKE the advice given, which is ASK him out or leave him alone.
... (read in full...)
How can I let my ex down gently? He's still inviting me for coffee.
Q. Advice please. My x is inviting me round for coffee every day, and trying his luck. Whilst I was there he was on a dating site (hidden from me.) How do I let him down gently? ...
A. 2 May 2015: STOP the contact? Tell him I'm going to go no contact, I wish you well.
He isn't trying to be your friend, he is trying to still get laid.
Then you BLOCK his number, delete it and MOVE on.... (read in full...)
How can my husband and I learn to stand up to his interfering parents? Currently my husband always defers to them.
Q. I am thirty seven married with two kids we live beside my in-laws. Lately I have started to seriously resent my husband because he is allowing his parents dictate his life and our children's life. They compare him and our kids to the other thirteen...
A. 2 May 2015: I would VERY much let my in-laws know that you LOVE the fact that they want to be involved, but that you MAKE the choices for YOUR children, not them.
Now it might end up being YOU that is the "bad guy" for not bending over backwards, but this CAN... (read in full...)
Why is my Bf starting to insult me?
Q. Hope someone can help me understand this. I've been with my boyfriend something like 16-18 months. He's always had a bit of a wandering eye when we are out together, like he will turn to look at someone pretty or really stare, say at women when we...
A. 2 May 2015: Yikes, your BF is a FIRST CLASS ASSHAT!
And it will ONLY get worse. I agree with nonny female, he is manipulative, insecure and controlling. HE have a need for CONSTANT validation, such as ogling women RIGHT in front of you or commenting on them.... (read in full...)
Did he use me? Is he just selfish? Was it reasonable to expect him to pay his share?
Q. I just wanted to get an outsider's perspective on the kind of situation that my boyfriend and I found ourselves in. My boyfriend and I decided to move in together. I know, it was a super immature decision because we didn't sit down and talk finances...
A. 2 May 2015: You shouldn't have moved in without having a rental or room-mate agreement, a chorelist, list of expenses and HOW these are to be shared. Some people can move in and make it work without this, you obviously didn't have the "nuts" to tell him, EVERY ... (read in full...)
Do I walk away and not look back?
Q. I was dating a woman for about 7 months. I thought things were great. I'm working on a law degree and I work, so I'm extrely busy. I spent as much time with her as I possibly could. In fact, I spent most of my time with her during the semester, ...
A. 2 May 2015: I vote for walk away.
1. you had a PERFECTLY good reason for not being able to hang out. You explained it to her, she said she understood. You still spend time and effort with her on phone calls while studying for finals. SHE used that as an EXCUS... (read in full...)
I'm concered with my husband's parenting style
Q. My husband and I have very different ways of parenting. We are both relatively young and have not been blessed with much patience. We have a 3 year old daughter who is pretty hyper and defiant but I guess thats pretty normal for a child her age. ...
A. 2 May 2015: YOU two need to sit down and talk strategy. (without her being around).
YOU do baby her. And you emasculate your husband in FRONT of your daughter.
WHILE you may not AGREE with his methods (the arm pulling I wouldn't agree with either) to PUT h... (read in full...)
Dating a young guy but I don't see this is going to work out
Q. Hey, I'm living in weird relationship and I can't end it! The fair of being lonely again is stopping me! My partner is someone younger that me in 11 years ! I'm 31 he is 20 The age would not be an issue for me if he was older , as my ex was 1...
A. 2 May 2015: Yes, you should end it. FOR both your sake, and you know it. Being embarrassed of a partner is CLEAR sign that HE is NOT a good match.
What you did was adopt a teenybopper because you didn't want to be lonely, so you have settled for an attracti... (read in full...)
I don't want people to ''find'' me and ''add'' me. Why are Social Networks so important to everyone? Can I decline gracefully at work?
Q. Why is everyone so obsessed with social media and networks. I've just started a new job and genuinely the first thing this girl said was do you have Facebook? I find it ridiculous that I should have to be 'friends' with people I don't want as ...
A. 2 May 2015: I'd just say I'm keeping Facebook for family & friends only. That way I can keep work and my private life separate.
I wouldn't lie or make up obscure excuses, just be honest. ... (read in full...)
Is grief causing me confusion about life decisions? Do I stay or try to settle in another country?
Q. Dear Cupid Hi aunts and uncles I hope all is well, To give you some background I'm 34 and live in London. 3 weeks ago my father died very suddenly of a heart attack and my world has been turned upside down. I had a big trip to usa with my b...
A. 1 May 2015: Well, I DO think you should break up with your BF. Because while you may not have had sex with Mr. Las Vegas you DID cheat on your BF with him. You say you want a new start... So start by doing your BF a favor.. and end it.
I think you are with... (read in full...)
How can I respond to the intrusive tactless personal questions put to me at work by my female supervisor?
Q. Hi all, two months agoi got a transfer to another office so now i have this big problem with my supervisor. She is dating someone at work who is much younger than her, so now this toy boy of her's like to play with me as we are working together...
A. 1 May 2015: I would try to first totally ignore the question, if he she asking I'd just state CLEARLY that you believe KIDS come AFTER marriage.
OR even better, tell her it's YOUR personal business. But say it with a smile. And EVERY TIME she asks.. give her... (read in full...)
How can I convince my mother, to get her to accept and understand that we love each other?
Q. I am 30 years old woman. My boyfriend is 46 years old. We both really love each other. But my family is not accepting this relationship. I always have a fight with my mom. I cant anymore tolerate. She think that he loves me because I am young a...
A. 1 May 2015: You are 30 years old, so should be OLD enough to decide if a man is right for you or not.
I'm wondering if there is a cultural aspect to this question? If your family is from a background where the parents pick their children's spouse/p... (read in full...)
He's fine in person but is awful at texting!
Q. I was just hoping for some general advice. My boyfriend is incredible, and I'm head over heels for my relationship. We're both in college, so I know we're young, but I've never been happier with a significant other. He treats me like a princess. The ...
A. 1 May 2015: So if ALL of us misunderstood you and your BF misunderstood you... MAYBE you should take Lawncare's advice... AND CALL him instead OR NEXT time you are face-to-face tell him... I WOULD like for you to INITIATE meeting up, hanging out, dates instead ... (read in full...)
What do I need to say to my boyfriend? Because I really had never had sexual relations before I had sex for the first time, recently, with him.
Q. I had sex for the first time, but my boyfriend thinks now thar I was not virgin since I was loose and didn't have pain and he saw no blood .? but I really didn't have sex before please help ...
A. 1 May 2015: Your BF is ignorant. It's really that simple.
Like Lawncare said.. GOOGLE hymen Myths and show him. And if he doesn't believe you, dump him.
http://rhreal... (read in full...)
Should I be so worried that my ex may eventually fancy one of my sisters?
Q. I would really appreciate some advice! I have two really beautiful sisters who are also successful and talented. They have good jobs and even have even written published stories. I am ashamed to say this but I often hesitate to bring my boyfrien...
A. 1 May 2015: You know there are thousands of women out there who might be smarter, prettier, more accomplished etc. etc... BUT that doesn't mean EVERY guy would RATHER date your sisters OR another woman.
You ex was an asshat. There is no way around it. My g... (read in full...)
How do I tell my boss that I can't come to work as I'm already booked to attend a convention? Not sure how to break the news.
Q. Modnote: poster clarified that she holds 2 jobs. One weekdays Mon-Fri and one part time at weekends. .............................................................. I work as a Nanny full-time 9-5 Monday through Friday. A week or so ago, she told me ...
A. 1 May 2015: She told YOU ... Well, I'd tell HER that unfortunately your LAST day will be the 26th (or 25th) as you have a vacation booked already and can not change the dates.
She can either accept it or not... What is she going to do? ... (read in full...)
We had a casual thing between us about 4 years ago. Why would she ignore me now?
Q. Ok, so me and this girl used to have a casual thing going about 4 years ago. We were both single then. Since then i've married someone else. We've stayed in touch and met up a few times. On a couple of occasions we have slept together which s...
A. 1 May 2015: Leave her alone. Simple as that.
Yes she probably had this "casual" thing with you in hopes of you wanting to actually date her, not just screw her and she probably wasn't too keen when you moved on. BUT.. I think she is just over you. Not the ... (read in full...)
Would it be cruel to leave him. Or could it do him some good? I'm terrified of what'll happen if he continues like this.
Q. I'm between a rock and a hard place and I really need some advice. My boyfriend has always smoked weed. At first it was just once or twice a month when he would hang out with a particular friend. I didn't like it but he never did it in front of m...
A. 1 May 2015: I'm sorry.
You can not FIX this guy with "love" and "support", specially NOT when he doesn't think he needs help. The F**K You! is pretty clearly him telling you that he DOESN'T WANT/NEED help (in his eyes). So getting him help would be pointles... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is 20 and is getting frustrated that I want to wait. (I'm gay and a virgin). Should I ask him about that Phone call? Or allow sex to happen?
Q. Hi, so I'm gay, my boyfriend is 20 and I am eighteen. Anyways, I'm a virgin, but he isn't. Last weekend I told him I was a virgin and wanted to wait on sex, and he was kind and very understanding. Well, a few days ago, I heard him on the phone with ...
A. 1 May 2015: Should you jsut have sex with him?
No. You should WAIT til you are GOOD and ready. IF he isn't WILLING to wait, then he isn't for you.
I would say the same to a straight, bisexual,asexual boy/girl too - NEVER have sex out of FEAR of losing y... (read in full...)
A close friend told me that my boyfriend isn't a good guy!
Q. A close friend of mine recently told me that my bf isn't a good guy!he said he s very mean and took his friendship for granted and took advantage of his friendship. he is telling me not to have a relationship with him as he might cheat on me or take ...
A. 1 May 2015: I can see why your friend would suggest these things after how their friendship ended, but ONE thing is THEIR friendship, another is YOUR relationship.
You friend might HAVE ulterior motives (such as "revenge" for the end if a friendship, or becau... (read in full...)
He's fine in person but is awful at texting!
Q. I was just hoping for some general advice. My boyfriend is incredible, and I'm head over heels for my relationship. We're both in college, so I know we're young, but I've never been happier with a significant other. He treats me like a princess. The ...
A. 1 May 2015: I agree with WiseOwlE
An AWESOME BF is what you have, the fact that he isn't great at texting? Seriously? DO NOT try and carry on a relationship over text, that isn't real.
Dial it back a bit. Him giving you his daily itinerary is (sorry to say... (read in full...)
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