I don't have any additional time to give my Gf and I feel that she's eventually going to find someone who does have more time. What should I do?
Q. So I'm in a bit of a dilemma. I'm a law student, which takes up a ton of my time. I also have a weekend bartending job to pay my bills, and a gf. So needless to say, I'm painfully busy and don't have a lot of free time. My Gf and I were tog...
A. 30 September 2015: I'm sorry it turned out that way for you, but I supposed you can call it a blessing in disguise.
If she started to date someone a day after the break up? I too would presume that she already knew him in one capacity or another.
My advice, do... (read in full...)
My father is dying and his partner of 20 years is unsupportive! How do I help my dad?
Q. This is not a LOVE relationship issue but it is a relationship issue. I normally am the one to give advice but this is something I am willing to hear all sides on. Background: My dad is nearly 81 and he is dying. He has non-treatable meta...
A. 24 September 2015: It's good that he is doing better! Maybe Agatha is stepping it up (even with being sick?) or maybe your Dad have some extra strength in him because of his kids.
Go Dad!
... (read in full...)
What exactly are morals?
Q. What exactly are morals? I would define morals as standards set by society. Are morals flexible? I am very guarded about my sexual side. I have often read about people who give advice on this forum saying keeping your body till marriage is outdated. ...
A. 23 September 2015: Since YOU are the person who has to live with you 24/7/365 for the rest of your life, I would go with :
"a person's standards of behavior or beliefs concerning what is and is not acceptable for them to do."
As long as you can understand and r... (read in full...)
Is this his anger speaking or should I break it off with him?
Q. So , I ve been talking to and hanging with this guy I like for a year and some ... He's never really asked to be my boyfriend or make it official. I have but he didn't give me a direct Yes. Anyways, He says he likes me, he said he loved me once or ...
A. 23 September 2015: Should you take him back? Are you serious?
After that whole spiel about your mother? Just eww. What a creepy thing to say.
Not only that but his apology including telling you it was all YOUR fault as well? Good grief this guy is full of himse... (read in full...)
He cheated. Now he's devastated I'm leaving. Do I give him another chance or give up ?
Q. Hey everyone, I just spent the last few months getting my 25 year-old live-in boyfriend of nine years to confess that he cheated sometime last year. We'd had a great relationship other than this. I knew that he'd attempted to cheat at ...
A. 23 September 2015: I think you have your head on straight. I think it's good that you are not taken responsibility for HIS action - because you ARE right, HE chose to cheat - you didn't MAKE him cheat. Accusing you... is just easier for him, than facing the reality ... (read in full...)
My now ex Bf goes missing in action, but is furious if I don't pick up the phone. What gives?
Q. My Now ex boyfriend of 2 and a half years gets really annoyed with me if I don't answer my phone or text back or call back quickly. He always said "keep me updated". He made it clear how he feels and I honor this request as best I can. He has had ...
A. 23 September 2015: He is who he is. I think at 48.... there is a reason why he hasn't gotten a family yet? Maybe because he DOES put himself first?
I do agree a "normal" or average decent BF would shots his girl (with a broken leg) a text letting her know he'd be ... (read in full...)
LD Crush. Should I consider this guy as a friend and nothing else? Age differences and difference cultures.
Q. A few years back I used to work with a nice guy. We always got along great and I don't know if the feeling was mutual or not, but I was always attracted to him. At the time he was married (and I knew who is wife was, talked to her on several ...
A. 23 September 2015: I would stick to being friends.
1. he is STILL married, as far as you know. "getting" a divorce doesn't mean single. It means there is talk about divorcing. They might still work it out.
2. he might BE getting this divorce because he has a... (read in full...)
My now ex Bf goes missing in action, but is furious if I don't pick up the phone. What gives?
Q. My Now ex boyfriend of 2 and a half years gets really annoyed with me if I don't answer my phone or text back or call back quickly. He always said "keep me updated". He made it clear how he feels and I honor this request as best I can. He has had ...
A. 23 September 2015: I understand he wants to go hear his friend play, and if you can handle yourself with a broken leg and don't need assistance, I don't see why it would be a problem for him to go out. Or why he would lie about it. But if this is a common thing, him ... (read in full...)
He talks about getting me pregnant, but is it just all talk?
Q. Hi,(long story) im 23 and my guy is 19 yrs older. He uses the pull-out method. A few times he's came inside me. He askes about when im gonna have his baby. He says i hope you're ready to have a baby. But sometimes he says you better not get preg...
A. 23 September 2015: I hope you are smart enough to not rely on HIM making sure you don't get pregnant. TAKE control and BE on birth-control till you are READY for a child. You are 23, so old enough to know that the pull out method is only effective if the GUY who is ... (read in full...)
It feels like he's distancing himself from me. How can I improve my relationship with my bf who has PTSD?
Q. My boyfriend has PTSD from the war and he is hard to deal with. He gets mad at dumb things and always thinks I'm mad at him when I'm not I'm just chill or quiet or relaxing or thinking. If I talk too much he gets irrational especially in fr...
A. 22 September 2015: Step 1: Move out. You are not helping him, NOR yourself in staying in that situation. Don't be his enabler, like his brother is doing.
Step 2: Don't agree to ANY of his rules if they don't suit you. HE doesn't own you. You can go visit family o... (read in full...)
Could you forgive someone who lied about their age and their name? Turns out she the daughter of my boss!
Q. I met this girl "J" at a bar back in late July. She is beautiful and has an amazing smile, I asked her to dance and we ended up talking all night. She told me she was 23. We exchanged numbers and the very next day I called her. We ended up Hoo...
A. 22 September 2015: Are you OK with screwing the Boss's daughter, potentially dating her? That would be my first question.
If not, forget her.
If you are OK with it, I think that is really up to you. Personally, I think it shows a rather immature girl, who doesn'... (read in full...)
Did I ask for a salary that was too high? Is there a way to negotiate back in their favor? How would I word my letter to them?
Q. hey guys, recently I applied for a job. I got shortlisted in pre screening, but after filling up the final screening form, I got a mail saying that my candidature will not be proceeded further. In my form, I have mentioned quite high salary pack...
A. 22 September 2015: If they otherwise had interest in you/your application but not inclined to pay the salary you mentioned, they would try and negotiate you down.
I don't think the salary you mention is a reason for rejection, unless it's utterly unrealis... (read in full...)
My father is dying and his partner of 20 years is unsupportive! How do I help my dad?
Q. This is not a LOVE relationship issue but it is a relationship issue. I normally am the one to give advice but this is something I am willing to hear all sides on. Background: My dad is nearly 81 and he is dying. He has non-treatable meta...
A. 22 September 2015: Man, when it rains it pours!
I agree with C. Grant (as usual) that I would focus on what YOU (and your brother) can do to make his days/months/ hopefully longer as good as possible.
All I can say is, I get being angry at her for being "usele... (read in full...)
She's trying to steal my man!
Q. Dear Cupid, Ive been in my relationship for a year and a month. I've fallen in love with my boyfriend and we have no problems except his best friends fiance diana is also in love with him! When I come around she gives me the dirtiest looks and she ...
A. 22 September 2015: Yikes, what a cow!
But remember this, you can't "steal" a person. Your BF is not an object.
And secondarily, does she only do this when she isn't around her fiance?
As for her trash-talking you - ignore it. She is jealous and she thinks i... (read in full...)
My father is dying and his partner of 20 years is unsupportive! How do I help my dad?
Q. This is not a LOVE relationship issue but it is a relationship issue. I normally am the one to give advice but this is something I am willing to hear all sides on. Background: My dad is nearly 81 and he is dying. He has non-treatable meta...
A. 22 September 2015: Aww, that is quite a hard thing to deal with. And it's even harder for your dad as he had hoped he would have in her a partner through thick and thin, but only got himself a "goodtime girl". (as my grandfather called them).
If she was my "sort of... (read in full...)
When did dating become so confusing? Do I cut him off or give him a chance?
Q. I have known this man for 2 yrs, we were friends first. We dating a bit last year and were physical when were seeing each other. All was going well and then he disappeared on me. We kept in touch but it looked like he was dating other peop...
A. 22 September 2015: I agree with Cindy.
He is a total time-waster for you. He has even come out and said it, HE is only looking for sex. And he means it. Just look at his past actions, a little sweet-talk/texting then bed you, then vanish.. (probably sleeping... (read in full...)
Should I be worried if I keep on finding gay porn on my Bf's phone?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend 2 years, living together 1 year. I recently for the first time, checked his phone out of curiosity because I know he watches porn and was getting upset by the lack of sex we were having so decided to check it out... ...
A. 22 September 2015: So, you would marry a guy whom you think could be gay? Why? Because you love him and he wants to marry you? Does he make you happy? Can you accept that he will continue watching gay porn after the wedding too? And that MIGHT be his true preference, ... (read in full...)
Could his reaction, to me touching him, be regarded as him flirting with me?
Q. I like this guy and i met him 3 weeks ago in my college and he has 2 of the same lessons as me. We take the same bus home and i sit next to him. Today, i sat next to him and kept touching him and he was like stop touching me or i'll punch you. ...
A. 22 September 2015: No, threatening to punch someone is NOT flirting, even when they obviously aren't going to punch you. It's a less than polite way of telling you to RESPECT his personal space and stop touching him.
It's not charming, funny or cute to threaten... (read in full...)
I don't have any additional time to give my Gf and I feel that she's eventually going to find someone who does have more time. What should I do?
Q. So I'm in a bit of a dilemma. I'm a law student, which takes up a ton of my time. I also have a weekend bartending job to pay my bills, and a gf. So needless to say, I'm painfully busy and don't have a lot of free time. My Gf and I were tog...
A. 22 September 2015: Focus on your studies. I have to say if she can't handle how busy you are now, she is deluding herself into thinking that once your studies are over you will have a lot more time. You won't. (if you go into law)
So you can grab the bull by the h... (read in full...)
Should I confront a cheat?
Q. Whilst I was browsing on a free online dating site I came across my friend whos girlfriend is eight months pregnant. What shall I do. I've known my friend since school, at school I had a crush on him and decades later I asked him out, which he...
A. 21 September 2015: Oh, I have to go with Tisha here.
What a perfect way to "confront" him. It's worded in a non-confrontational way, but it also lets you say how you feel.
It's, however, not your job to police his morals or behavior, but a not like the wording... (read in full...)
I don't have a college degree, is this why I'm not being hired?
Q. This isn't a relationship question but I could use some advice. I was laid off from my job of 4 years almost a year ago and since then have had no luck finding a new job. I believe I have a great resume, I have put in applications both on...
A. 21 September 2015: It could be, even if the jobs you are applying for doesn't require a degree.
I know when I was in charge of hiring assistants and even a receptionist that we had a TON of "over qualified" applicants. I went through a good 500 applications and gues... (read in full...)
What exactly are morals?
Q. What exactly are morals? I would define morals as standards set by society. Are morals flexible? I am very guarded about my sexual side. I have often read about people who give advice on this forum saying keeping your body till marriage is outdated. ...
A. 21 September 2015: Well the definition of morals:
mor·al
'môr?l/Submit
noun
plural noun: morals
1.
a lesson, especially one concerning what is right or prudent, that can be derived from a story, a piece of information, or an experience.
"the moral of t... (read in full...)
Monday through Friday, he's the man I fell for. But Friday to Sunday, I don't recognise him! How do I get through to him?
Q. I'm worried about my boyfriend's drinking buy I have no idea how to get it through to him that he may have a problem. He is 13 years older, making him 37 and myself 24. We have been together for two years and although both families had an ...
A. 21 September 2015: Did he drink like this in his last relationship? Is that why he ex left him?
I mean, it would make sense.
One of our aunties (SVC) use the expression don't date a guy by his potential and she is right. YOU are dating a guy going by his pot... (read in full...)
Why does he treat her better than he ever treated me?
Q. Yesterday I was on Facebook and came across my ex's current girlfriend's profile on my 'people you may know' list. Both her and I are friends with my ex's cousins. I was curious and clicked on her profile to take a look. Two years ago, my ex and I...
A. 21 September 2015: Every relationship is different. Maybe he is more mature now, maybe he learned from the mistakes he made in the past, maybe he turned over a new leaf, or maybe SHE bring that out in him. Maybe the two of them are a better fit (at least in his mind) ... (read in full...)
How do I make him feel comfortable with me in that department without being pushy?
Q. Hi I really need help. My husband and I broke up a few years ago. He now wants to give it a go at fixing things. He wants us to be a family. I've always wanted this and we have given it a go before but he changed his mind and left. Now he said he ...
A. 21 September 2015: Have you dealt with why you were being verbally abusive? Have you talked to a counselor or someone about this?
Wishing things will work and making them work are two different things. And I'd say unless you have some kind of control over your tem... (read in full...)
I've lost the passion for activities I used to love. Also considering losing my virginity before marriage. Is this normal?
Q. At what age is self discovery complete?. I thought I knew what I wanted in life completely at 18, but right now, my decisions seem to be fluctuating. I wanted to keep my body, my virginity for my husband but right now if I am okay with whom I a...
A. 21 September 2015: It's OK to question life, from time to time (we all do it).
Maybe go find a new gallery/art show - who knows it might inspire you. Or join a class (if you have the time). I have always found that other creative people inspire me. See, the biggest ... (read in full...)
Why would my young chatty, sweet coworker turn on me and complain to my senior about me?
Q. Hi, I really can't understand this girl. I met her through my work and we seemed to get in and chat away even about things that didn't link to the work I was doing for her. She's young, attractive and always chatty and sweet. Recently she c...
A. 21 September 2015: You overstepped a boundary somewhere with her and made her uncomfortable. THAT is my guess.
I think she was trying to be polite and nice (because you work together) but something made her think something you said or did was inapprop... (read in full...)
He evaded answering my question. Should I confront him or ignore him?
Q. Hiya I have been seeing a guy for a few months and all has been going really well, and always tells me how much he likes me and how much fun he has with me. We haven't yet been physical and I want to wait until I am sure of him. We only se...
A. 20 September 2015: I would just call him and say hey I saw you on the group Facebook, I guess you decided to go anyways:) Did you enjoy the event?" etc. That way you might find out (without having to bluntly confront him) why he decided to go after all.
If he start... (read in full...)
I've lost the passion for activities I used to love. Also considering losing my virginity before marriage. Is this normal?
Q. At what age is self discovery complete?. I thought I knew what I wanted in life completely at 18, but right now, my decisions seem to be fluctuating. I wanted to keep my body, my virginity for my husband but right now if I am okay with whom I a...
A. 20 September 2015: I forgot to add, are you doing OK with life (your life) in general? Are you feeling like you are in a rut or why have you started to question it all?
A lot of time people with depression stop enjoying things they used to love, because they fee... (read in full...)
I've lost the passion for activities I used to love. Also considering losing my virginity before marriage. Is this normal?
Q. At what age is self discovery complete?. I thought I knew what I wanted in life completely at 18, but right now, my decisions seem to be fluctuating. I wanted to keep my body, my virginity for my husband but right now if I am okay with whom I a...
A. 20 September 2015: At what age is self discovery complete?
------------
Um, never? You constantly learn new things about yourself ( I should hope) and you can learn new things at any age. You might rediscover passions for things 20 years after you "gave" up on... (read in full...)
What are my options while my husband treats me with such contempt, by telling me ''if you don't like it, move out''?
Q. Hi, my husband and I have been married for 35yr's. The problem is if I ask him to flush the toilet,or rinse the sink after he brushes teeth he tells me if I don't like it move out. Always telling how to drive,we are both retired and disabled and he ...
A. 20 September 2015: Is the retirement thing new for him? Do you think he is not liking being retired?
Both my Dad and my husband had issues when they stood at a point where they could retire, my dad did for all of 3 years and honestly (according to my mom) he was h... (read in full...)
Why do guys give the promiscuous flirty girls so much attention?
Q. Do guys usually like the flirty and promiscuous type of girls? I need some advice because I hate to say I'm a little jealous of this girl I know who gets so much attention from my guy friends and just a lot of guys in general. She sleeps around wi...
A. 20 September 2015: Be who you are. It's that simple.
Some girls have found that being the flirty party girl gets them attention, but that it CAN come at a price. The price is a reputation they may not even deserve (like being called promiscuous).
If you were h... (read in full...)
His past (failed) relationship is making him very cautious about getting into a relationship with me. What should I do?
Q. I met this guy a bit less than a month ago and things have been good between us. But something sparked the conversation about what he wants and he said he likes me, i tick all the right boxes but he needs to know that he is 100% okay because ...
A. 20 September 2015: I think it's a good thing you are both celibate while trying to figure out if it can lead to something more.
I think the answer to why is he pursuing you if he is fearing to get hurt - is he WANTS to overcome the fear. Something IN you (in his ... (read in full...)
Blind-sided. He says he loves me deeply but isn't ''in love'' with me. What are the chances that we could get back together, eventually?
Q. My boyfriend broke up with me last Friday, whereas the night before he took me to dinner for my birthday, bought me flowers and gifts. We were also intimate. He lives an hour away, but showed up unannounced. I was excited, because he is always ...
A. 20 September 2015: I am sorry to say this, but... if he is back on dating sites he is actively searching for someone, and that someone is not you. So, I would not waste time or energy hoping he will realize his folly and come back to you.
He might... however,... (read in full...)
He evaded answering my question. Should I confront him or ignore him?
Q. Hiya I have been seeing a guy for a few months and all has been going really well, and always tells me how much he likes me and how much fun he has with me. We haven't yet been physical and I want to wait until I am sure of him. We only se...
A. 20 September 2015: I agree with WiseOwlE
He wanted to go alone, he knew ( I presume) that you were going with friends Sunday, so he went Saturday. (knowing that he wouldn't bump into you and he didn't have to be there WITH you either).
I think (personally) tha... (read in full...)
His past (failed) relationship is making him very cautious about getting into a relationship with me. What should I do?
Q. I met this guy a bit less than a month ago and things have been good between us. But something sparked the conversation about what he wants and he said he likes me, i tick all the right boxes but he needs to know that he is 100% okay because ...
A. 19 September 2015: I'd say till he AND you are sure about each other - don't have sex.
I don't think it is a waste of time getting to know someone before decided if there is a future or not with that person, a future that includes being intimate.
As you said, ... (read in full...)
Its frustrating that my ex can't see his new girlfriend for what she is
Q. My ex blamed me for stirring up trouble and talking behind his back when his current girlfriend (who he chose over me) does just as much stirring and gossiping. It really frustrates me how he blames me for everything and not her. She even div...
A. 19 September 2015: You are in your 40's... You should know better than to play these playground games.
1. a person can not TAKE a person from someone else. Your ex made the choice to be with her rather than be with you. Whether you like her, like what she does, sa... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for not wanting him to have contact with his ex girlfriend?
Q. I've been dating a guy for the passed 2 months and he still works with his ex girlfriend. They had only broken up 2 month proir to us dating and they was together for 2 years. I had told him when we first started dating that i think it is a little...
A. 19 September 2015: I think what you have here are two different view points. You believe (and I agree, for the most part) that there is no need to be in contact with an ex (if there are no children involved). Your new beau, doesn't agree. (he might say he does, but if ... (read in full...)
How do I sort things out with this girl?
Q. i'm off to university for my 2nd year tomorrow and I am living in student accomodation again. I met this girl on facebook as she messaged me cause we were living in the same accomodation and originally going to be neighbours before I got moved flat. ...
A. 18 September 2015: I agree with Tisha, you made a blunder of a mistake when you screenshotted her, and you know it.
What I would suggest is that you ask her to meet up so you can delete her pictures IN front of her (she can delete yours) and then see if she wants to... (read in full...)
My body is "flat" and I feel a woman should look more womanly
Q. I am a 25 year old woman. I have very small A cup breasts and absolutely no butt. I have a very 'flat' appearance to my body. I hate to say that I'm somewhat insecure and quite unhappy with my body. I find myself comparing myself to curvy women w...
A. 18 September 2015: There is no cookie cutter for people. We are not all shaped the same way. That is called variety. The spice of life!
In the 1920, the "androgynous" look was in. It wasn't curves at all, that was the "fad".
The 50's it was "bullet" breasts... (read in full...)
I found out my boyfriend lied and cheated. Do I take him back?
Q. Hey all, So I have asked questions before on this board and it really helped. Please help! I have been living with my boyfriend for about 4 years. Things are tough because we both work medical and emergency services which means our schedul...
A. 18 September 2015: One thing I have learned about trust is that once lost, it is almost impossible to regain it. And when trust is out the window other things starts to fall - like dominoes. Trust, respect, affection and love.
He lied to you. He cheated. And I th... (read in full...)
Why do some men turn really nasty when they dump you?
Q. Why do some men turn really nasty when they dump you? I had a bad fall out with my ex. We had only been seeing each other a short time but after a few months we fell out over a misunderstanding and he dropped me - just like that - no warning, noth...
A. 18 September 2015: I think in this day and age with online dating, and a generally larger selection of possible partners, some people think if the person they meet and start to date isn't perfect, you can always find someone who is. Very much a "disposable dating ... (read in full...)
Why am I waking up in the middle of the night unhappy that I'm in a relationship?
Q. For a few nights in a row, I've woken up in the middle of the night with a feeling of utter sadness about being in this relationship with my boyfriend. We have our disagreements and do have arguements but they don't last longer than a few hours. So ...
A. 18 September 2015: I think you know what is wrong. You have outgrown the relationship or lost that "loving feeling" for your partner, but you don't want to be the "bad guy" and end it.
You have to, at some point, decide if you want continue with this state of unhap... (read in full...)
Is there is a point of no return with regards to personal failures and disappointing lifestyles?
Q. I am ill disciplined and have no ambition. I am the source and creator of all my current misery. However, I would like to change myself. I have been able to work myself into a "better" version of myself but my problem now is that I am afraid that it ...
A. 18 September 2015: I think you already know the answer to this, but want some support/confirmation - so here goes.
You CAN do it.
Don't expect everything to happen overnight. To snap your fingers and hey presto! you are now a total success!
Start one place... (read in full...)
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