My ex's wife doesn't want me to attend his service
Q. I was engaged briefly to a man about 4 years ago but prior to that we were very close friends since high school. I loved him dearly. Unfortunately he passed away last week and I was only notified yesterday. I had lost touch with him when he got ...
A. 31 August 2015: No one is "bashing" you, but trying to get through to you to SEE things from the widow's side of things.
It's not about how long they were married versus how long you have know him. She asked that you (and some other ex) not show up. It's a s... (read in full...)
Is it time to bring this to a close? Seems I am now just a text friend and there has been no apology.
Q. May I ask for advice I fell out with a guy I got close to He gave me the impression he was finished with the person who he was with but was not the case as he has bought into a flat and had to see out the contract Anyway because I felt le...
A. 31 August 2015: I would. There is no real point to keeping in touch. He is not a friend, or even a friendly acquaintance.
I'm not much of a fan of keeping people in my life who isn't a positive influence. This one? He seems to just text when bored or having n... (read in full...)
My ex's wife doesn't want me to attend his service
Q. I was engaged briefly to a man about 4 years ago but prior to that we were very close friends since high school. I loved him dearly. Unfortunately he passed away last week and I was only notified yesterday. I had lost touch with him when he got ...
A. 31 August 2015: Grief will do strange things to people. Among that anger and hostility. Why she has chosen you and another ex-gf to direct it at is anyone's guess...
The matter of fact is.. SHE is his wife/widow. You are just an ex GF.
You can easily talk to h... (read in full...)
My daughter cut ties with us. How can I make things right?
Q. My 20 year old daughter moved and cut ties with her step father and I - How can I make things right? I know most of this is my fault. There has been a lot of drama in our household. My husband and I fight often and have not made good decisions ...
A. 31 August 2015: Well, I would GIVE her the space and time she asked for - which means you STOP trying to call/text/contact her till SHE is good and ready - or you might lose her forever.
A few weeks was OK for you, obviously NOT for her, she needs more time. An... (read in full...)
My ex's wife doesn't want me to attend his service
Q. I was engaged briefly to a man about 4 years ago but prior to that we were very close friends since high school. I loved him dearly. Unfortunately he passed away last week and I was only notified yesterday. I had lost touch with him when he got ...
A. 30 August 2015: I agree with WiseOwlE
Pay your respect to the parent in another way, and at another time.
While you dated him in the past, SHE was his wife. Whether you like her or not I think you should respect her wishes.
Now I have no idea why there i... (read in full...)
How do I compete with the army?
Q. My boyfriend said one day out of the blue he wants to join the armed forces, he needs to started training for it and cant be talking all the time. Since then its felt like I'm no longer a priority to him, all the things he used to do or say he ...
A. 30 August 2015: Don't "compete" with the Army. You won't come out the victor. If he is in your age group (18-21) he is at the age where he is "supposed" to think on the future - HIS future. What HE wants to do with his life. He might want a family at some point and ... (read in full...)
A psychiatrist told me I am not mad, (when I asked him) but is it possible to feel something for an historical person who lived in another era? What is this feeling called?
Q. Dear Cupid, Since I was a child, I was always afraid about become mad. Two years ago I learned about the existence of a russian man who lived between the second part of XIX century and the start of 10's. I was enchanted for his behaviour and pe...
A. 30 August 2015: I think you see this man as an ideal (for you) like a crush on a movie-star, author or celebrity. He is however a fantasy character. And one who has been dead for a very long time. It's not uncommon for people to build an ideal or perfect "mate" ... (read in full...)
How am I supposed to react to this? My girlfriend does hand jobs for a living
Q. I recently found out my girlfriend does handjobs for a living. She's a student and is allowed to work limited hours. The money is used to support herself and family. Should i accept it? Should I react to this....
A. 30 August 2015: I don't think I could date someone who made a living this way. I know it's "not nice" of me, but I would not have a lot of faith that it doesn't go further than hand-jobs no matter what. I just can't see a prostitute (and that is what she is IMHO) ... (read in full...)
How do I carry myself forward and ensure that I do NOT go back to him and ensure that I move myself into Normalcy?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm here for emotional support and help. I just broke my 6 years of relationship with my EX-boyfriend which I'm stressing on because it's hard to believe that he's ex. I got into this relationship when I was 17.. the guy had slowly m...
A. 30 August 2015: Good for you!! Keep it up. And if you can, change your phone number (easier for you to keep him from trying to reach you) and block him on all social media, if he uses e-mail make it go to your spam/trash folder and don't even bother opening them.
... (read in full...)
When will all this hurt, angst and anger ease off or go away?
Q. I was treated badly by my ex and his new girlfriend. I thought I was over him as he wasn't the most loyal guy and was kind of seeing this other girl casually just before we split up - so we decided to go our separate ways and I have no wish to get b...
A. 29 August 2015: I think it will. (go away)
But you HAVE to accept that hating EITHER of them will get you nowhere, other than being bitter.
He sounds like a crappy BF - I mean he was seeing her on the sly, what kind of sleazy dude does that?
As for her? Wel... (read in full...)
I made a comment to him that has come back to bite me in the butt and now I'm confused about everything
Q. Hi all, Here is my situation. I was starting to see this guy, who was chasing me for about a month before I gave in to hanging out, which is unlike me because when I feel as though I have chemistry with someone, I tend to jump right in. Hones...
A. 29 August 2015: I do think you messed up as well. You pulled the "drama-llama GF" routine and then pushed him away.
He was on VACATION - which means you should have suggested HE takes the lead in the texting and calling, as HE would be more busy (probabl... (read in full...)
I'm resenting my husband's decision. How do I get over it?
Q. How do I stop resenting my husband? My husband was offered a job that would move us back to where my family are. His pay was increased by 6k but because of the tax rate we were only going to see a 1k increase a year. I wanted him to take it so I ...
A. 29 August 2015: Urgh, been there done that. Hubby had a chance to move us all to the UK (and thus closer to my side of the family) but he was hoping for another spot. By the time I got him "convinced" (lol) to TRY and get the UK spot is was gone. And we had to stay ... (read in full...)
Is there ever a right time to give someone a piece of your mind?
Q. Help. My friend who I thought was a friend was making a play for my man all along. We split up and he blocked me and then chose her instead of me, but mainly because she was stirring things up between us with lies and my ex chose to believe her ...
A. 29 August 2015: Never.
There is really never a good time for this. SHE knows what she did was shitty, she is fully AWARE of what she did, and your BF? Well, she did you a favor... SERIOUSLY, if he rather believe HER (who was a friend of his GF) over his GF then ... (read in full...)
She used me when she was bi-curious. I want her, she doesn't want me. What can I do? I feel so lonely.
Q. Could be long. This has been ongoing for 3 months now and it's getting worse, not better. This girl used me as she was bi-curious and I fell for her. She doesn't want me, I want her. I can't just be friends with her but I don't wanna stop talking ...
A. 27 August 2015: Step away.
HOW would you like it if some DUDE did to you what YOU are doing to her?
I mean you don't just try and plant a wet one on someone if you aren't sure they WANT a kiss. That's harassment.
I'd say cut the contact because you two ... (read in full...)
How do I carry myself forward and ensure that I do NOT go back to him and ensure that I move myself into Normalcy?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm here for emotional support and help. I just broke my 6 years of relationship with my EX-boyfriend which I'm stressing on because it's hard to believe that he's ex. I got into this relationship when I was 17.. the guy had slowly m...
A. 27 August 2015: Keep blocking him, don't check up on his FB ect. Actually the EASIEST thing you can do (and yes it sounds a little cruel) is to pretend that he has married someone else and moved to Antarctica. (in your head that is).
You know he wasn't GOOD for... (read in full...)
I feel lost. I do love him. But why even be with someone if they are never there?
Q. I feel like I'm not being treated properly in my relationship but I love the guy I'm with and it's so hard to figure out what to do. I feel lost, I'd don't know what's right or wrong. Me and him had a fight at the weekend gone, we spent a few d...
A. 27 August 2015: Don't you have friends of your own? If so I'd make plans to go hang out with them, go have fun, not sit around and WAIT for him to ask you to spend time with him.
I think you two might be a little... bad in the communication department. It's lik... (read in full...)
My B/f said, "'not to sound rude but you have a lot of stretch marks baby maybe you should do something about them"
Q. I've been with a man for almost a year and only recently been sexually active with him. He recently made a comment 'not to sound rude but you have a lot of stretch marks baby maybe you should do something about them' I told them they are all ...
A. 27 August 2015: Ah, your BF is a ignoramus.
ig·no·ra·mus
?ign?'ram?s,?ign?'ram?s/
noun
an ignorant or stupid person.
It's genetic. I have one stretch mark from 3 pregnancies. My husband on the other hand had TON of them from being super skinny to worki... (read in full...)
Can men and women just be friends? Or does he want more even though he has a GF?
Q. Hi, So...I've been at a new job for a year now and my manager wasn't around for the first half, he was travelling but ever since he returned we're constantly teasing each other, going out of our way to wind the other up and I was just taking as f...
A. 27 August 2015: Does it matter what he wants?
If all YOU want is friendship (and rightly so) then stick to being platonic, polite and professional.
I'd say I have had quite a few male colleges I had a lot of banter and fun with during the work day (while still... (read in full...)
She looked completely different when we met. Were my expectations too high? Do you think I should give it some time?
Q. I don't want this to sound horrible but here it goes I met a woman my age on a dating site and well...when we met she didn't look how I expected. What I mean by this is she looked a lot better in her pics on the dating site and on FaceBook. W...
A. 27 August 2015: Some people photograph really well, where as in reality they seem more "average".
Others photograph really bad, but look great in person.
I think you are being a bit shallow. I mean... her tan? Seriously?
We have had a weird summer where I l... (read in full...)
Trouble with Boyfriend, Should I stay? He's jealous and controlling
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating 2 and a half years. About a year into our relationship, we had a lot of problems with him being jealous and controlling, and I broke up with him for about a month. He begged for me back, showed up at my parent’s...
A. 27 August 2015: You should end it, it he playing the BOTH of you like a yo-yo. When you are mad or have "broken" up with him she is the back up, but... he doesn't OUTRIGHT cut the contact because he WANTS her to be the back up.
Stop wasting your time on this guy... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of 5 months doesn't shower or brush his teeth and its really getting to me!
Q. Hello! Really hope I can get some help! I met the most amazing man on holiday this year, and everything is fantastic, I love him to bits and he treats me amazingly. The only issue that I have is is complete lack of hygiene. We've been toge...
A. 26 August 2015: Just eww.
Who wants to kiss someone with a filthy mouth? Eww, you might as well lick his ashtray.
TELL him. "Babe I know you don't think it's a big deal to shower and brush your teeth, but it's a HUGE turn off to me. It makes me feel I'm not ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend and I went on a break decided to get back together but now she's acting badly and I don't want to get back with her!
Q. Hi, About six weeks ago, me and my fiancee (although now I feel reluctant to call her that) decided to go on a break as we began to experience some troubles in our relationship due to various stresses. We agreed to speak two weeks after ...
A. 26 August 2015: Don't bring up meeting someone new.
Be honest with your "fiance" and tell her that you see no future together. Just because she might get mad, it's NO reason to stay together.
Seems like you already have a foot out the door anyways.
So ... (read in full...)
Think online date is fake how do I tell him I know
Q. im on a dating site and have been talking to a guy for a while but he keeps making lame excuses as and when to meet. he claimed he was coming bk from a sea side as his holiday was ending last saturday he picked the date but kept saying he was stuck ...
A. 26 August 2015: I would send him a message telling him that you are going to block him as he seems nothing more than a sad catfish and you are done wasting time and effort on that childish crap. THEN you block his number/e-mail/etc. and move on.
Now you COULD ju... (read in full...)
I don't think she'd ever admit to having feelings for me but I'm crazy about her and we live together!
Q. So, I'm in love with a girl I live with. We are close friends, however we act in a way that is very "coupley". every evening she wants to lay on the sofa cuddling which usually leads to us messing around. I'll move away and she'll come to me usually ...
A. 26 August 2015: I'd tell her that if she wants something serious with you, you are up for it, but you aren't looking for a FWB/casual hook-up partner.
If she isn't interested in you THAT way then EVERY TIME she tries to snuggle etc. you tell her no thanks. ... (read in full...)
Can a married man have a mistress for 10 years and love her?
Q. Can a married man have a mistress for say 10 years and be in love with her? Otherwise if it was just sex, wouldn't he had dumped her ages ago? ...
A. 26 August 2015: I would say yes in a way, but he doesn't LOVE you as he loves his wife. Why do I say that? Because he is STILL married to HER.
He loves the fact that he DOESN'T have to commit to the mistress, can decide exactly how often, where and when they see... (read in full...)
I really like this girl but she won't respond back to me!
Q. Hi! A friend recently gave me the number of the girl i liked an i explained to her who i was but after that every time i said something to her she would say don't text me and don't talk to me. I really truly love her. What are my options?...
A. 26 August 2015: It was really brave of you to make the first contact, but now that you found out SHE isn't interested in you, YOU need to accept and respect that.
THAT means, STOP calling and STOP texting her. If you KEEP contacting her it IS harassme... (read in full...)
The children's father is no help at all
Q. Hi im 28 I live alone with my 2 children I am still with the childrens father he has his own flat which he is reluctant to give up I have a 8 year old son who has adhd and a 11 month old daughter my partner is absolutely no help at all I have done ...
A. 26 August 2015: Drop them off at HIS place for the week-end or to start out for a couple of hours so YOU can get a little break too.
I don't understand why you are having kids with a man you don't even co-habitat with. I mean seriously? Why aren't you two at l... (read in full...)
Boyfriend and I fought. He wants space but its making me angry!
Q. Me and my boyfriend had a fight at the weekend. It involved being drunk and I've apologised since then. He said to me he wants to take a few days to himself but he still wants to talk. He isn't chatty at all though. I don't like this because ...
A. 25 August 2015: Respect that he NEEDS some space to think.
Lashing out will get you no where, and you know maybe you need to learn a little self-control. Saying or doing something stupid or hurtful isn't erased by an apology.
Give him a week or two. Don't ca... (read in full...)
Is there something wrong with ruling someone out if you don't feel instant chemistry?
Q. I met a genuinely nice guy on an online dating site and we've gone on two dates. I had to psyche myself up for both of these dates because a) I haven't been on a date in a while and b) I didn't feel any attraction when I looked at his profile ...
A. 25 August 2015: I would go out on the 3rd date as well, if you still don't feel it, don't string him (and yourself) along.
I have NEVER dated someone whom I wasn't attracted to. Attraction isn't always a guarantee that it will last, but no attraction? How is t... (read in full...)
How can I have a pleasurable orgasm without penetration?
Q. feywild126 again, with a question in the same ballpark as my previous one. The guilt from having an orgasm is gone now, and now I'm wondering if someone can give me tips on how to masturbate? I hope that question isn't inappropriate for this site; I ...
A. 25 August 2015: Small vibrators (not for insertion) can work well (on the clitoris), some only needs fingers (again no NEED to insert ANYTHING) Studies show that almost 80% of women don't orgasm from penetration (alone).
IF you buy a vibrator online (Adam an... (read in full...)
Girlfriend and I went on a break decided to get back together but now she's acting badly and I don't want to get back with her!
Q. Hi, About six weeks ago, me and my fiancee (although now I feel reluctant to call her that) decided to go on a break as we began to experience some troubles in our relationship due to various stresses. We agreed to speak two weeks after ...
A. 25 August 2015: Well for one, I think you made a HUGE mistake going home with another girl while your "relationship" is up in the air.
Being on a break doesn't mean you are now single and FREE to date others. It is a BREAK to figure out how to make or not make... (read in full...)
Is going to a dinner at a date's house early on in the relationship too intimate?
Q. I recently met someone who I've become really interested in and would like to possibly start dating to the point of already thinking of what to say/suggest if and when I ask. Although we only met recently, I discovered that she works in a bar I ...
A. 25 August 2015: I'd say it's fine for the 5th+ date, not before.
I would stick to neutral places for now. There is less pressure on either of you that way.... (read in full...)
Why do I get cold feet and let good guys get away?
Q. Hi - I am in my late 30s, still good looking - but obviously don't meet as many men as I used to. I wasn't looking for love - but suddenly through Facebook, this gorgeous guy from years ago, started chatting me up. I played it down with him - ...
A. 25 August 2015: Learn from it?
Paying coy might work for a teenager, but not so well with an adult.
If you are interested you can still be "cool" about getting to know someone nice and slow.
The guy you mention obviously tossed out quote a few hooks to see... (read in full...)
What are some good ways for a 13 year old to make money?
Q. What are some good ways for a 13 year old to make money, I get paid for singing in a choir but my mum makes me by EVERYTHING myself (well not literally everything). My mums great,but when it comes to buying me stuff then... She's not so great! I ...
A. 25 August 2015: I walked dogs and had a week-end newspaper route, from I was 12-14. At 14 I got a job at a bakery (you were technically supposed to be 15 to handle money but I still got the job).
Is your mom a single mom? And does the money you get to spend th... (read in full...)
How can my boyfriend be so unreasonable? He has the nerve to be angry because I slept with someone before him!
Q. I'm having a huge argument with my boyfriend and I'd like some advice on how to handle it. About a month before I ever met him I was dating quite a bit, we met each other on a dating site so he was quite aware that I was dating people before I ...
A. 25 August 2015: He DOES have the "typical hypocritical double-standard" many men have, that women are "whores" (slags) if they have sex but guys are "studs" if they do it.
To me, when a guy looks at women and thinks it's OK to call them names those men lack res... (read in full...)
Is it ok to get married thinking it might not work out?
Q. I love my fiance to the end of the world and back. I am as sure as one can be that in the depths of his soul lies a a volcanic love for me too. I couldn't be happier and I wouldn't change a hair on his head; neither would he on mine I believe. ...
A. 24 August 2015: I would not marry if I didn't feel SURE about my partner. BUT I do agree with your fiance. SHIT does happen and staying with someone JUST because you said I DO, is not always viable.
I don't take marriage lightly. I actually wasn't planning... (read in full...)
How to deal with an unfriendly co-worker?
Q. Hey guys just a quick one Ok I recently started a new job Everyone seems really nice but there's a guy and I've detected it after just 3 weeks there I've tried to be friendly and chat but he always a bit sharp I know he's busy in the morning b...
A. 24 August 2015: Don't try to hard to chat. Busy or not.. you are BOTH there to work, not have exciting conversations.
Just go back to being polite and professional.
Could also be that he thinks you are hitting on him or interested in him and he is trying to ... (read in full...)
Why did my girlfriend suddenly decide she won't have sex till we get married?
Q. We have been dating for over a year now, things have been going on well between the both of us. As usual she is ready to have sex anytime I ask for it Suddenly things changed! My gentle and caring girlfriend suddenly changed to someo...
A. 24 August 2015: Ask her.
Maybe she feels that the relationship have been too much about sex?
Maybe someone has mentioned that you might not stick around and marry her BECAUSE she had sex with you already...
THERE are so many options, but ONLY your G... (read in full...)
Should I give away my virginity to an online stranger?
Q. I have been holding out long enough. I am tired of dating guys that as of lately has led to nowhere (trust, I know when to exit the relationship-if you called that). I'm managing to stay focused on my career. Just received a promotion last week. Not ...
A. 24 August 2015: Eww no.
Why would you do that?
I do know that people seem to think sex is no big deal, but this is your FIRST time we are talking about.
HAVE a little self-respect and FIND a guy whom you WANT to share this with no some creep on CL, Tindr ... (read in full...)
No one talks to me at the swimming pool club. What can I do to stop being treated like I'm invisible?
Q. I have a lot of friends at school and I am in a choir and have a lot of friends there too! But in my swimming club nobody speaks to me, and I can't seem to figure out why? I always arrive late on purpose so I won't have to stand on poolside like a ...
A. 24 August 2015: Do you talk to any of them?
Maybe you should try and make the first move instead of waiting for them to do it. And honey, CRYING in the locker-room does you no good.
If you are shy just start by saying hi or give someone a compliment. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has been talking to his ex girlfriend lately, should I say something?
Q. My boyfriend's ex girlfriend got back in touch with him a few weeks ago on facebook and they've been talking since. He says they have just been catching up and that she tells him about work, her baby niece, etc. I believe nothing inappropriate is...
A. 24 August 2015: Before you go make a big deal out of it, I would sit him down and ask him, how would YOU feel if I reached out to an ex (or he reached out to me) and we started chatting like we are friends?
Gauge his reaction to that. If he says I would have no ... (read in full...)
Why is it the older I get the harder it is to control my hormones?
Q. Why does it seem that the closer I get to my twenties the more my hormones seem to crave sexual activities? At eighteen, I have managed to stay a virgin, but it seems to be getting harder to avoid sexual thoughts and the desire to be an attention ...
A. 24 August 2015: Sexual thoughts are pretty normal. And for some acting on those thoughts are ... pretty normal too.
Wanting attention? Again normal.
The older you get (till maybe 40?) your ovulation week can be a little like a tsunami of hormones all tel... (read in full...)
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