Why will my boyfriend not say anything bad about this one particular ex?
Q. I have recently gained some weight and it's making me feel quite uncomfortable. My boyfriend always compliments me even when I look like a walking dead extra or my hairs a mess. Well he basically compliments me every time I see him. I asked him ...
A. 5 October 2015: I think you ARE being silly. Him putting her down to make YOU feel better about yourself, sounds kind of petty to me.
My husband's first wife is a 400 lbs woman now, she is HUGE. I think my husband knows that she ins't happy about her weight, ... (read in full...)
I'm catching my boyfriend's lies out. Do I call him out ?
Q. i think my new boyfriend is lying . the reason im thinking this is because he told me his dad had fallen really badly and had to go to hospital (the day of our date) we havent met each others families yet so its not like i could ask his family ...
A. 4 October 2015: I agree with Auntie BimBim.
Last time I was in the hospital there was a set "visiting hours" but it wasn't strictly reinforced, neither was it for my husband when he was in hospital.
When I had my kids visitors were allowed all day but was sent... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's anger is making me lose my confidence. How do I sort this out?
Q. My boyfriend if 3 years is really starting to get me down and I feel stuck. He loses his temper easily, gets verbally aggressive when I try to give my opinion and blows things of by saying " I don't want to hear you anymore, I'm not talking to ...
A. 4 October 2015: Apologizing doesn't mean he won't do it again, and again, and again.
Apologizing means (for him) that you will shut up and get with the program and not call him aggressive.
The guy is a bully.
As you two live together makes it harder... (read in full...)
Does breast lump surgery take this long to heal?
Q. Hi, I'm so worried. Had a breast lump surgery 3 weeks ago. It's getting to 4 weeks now and it hasn't healed up yet. Still have steri-strips on it. Though I have been getting regular dressing on it. I feel so uncomfortable . I'm not feeling any pains ...
A. 4 October 2015: Go see your doctor. TOMORROW.
Each person heals at different paces, but if you have issues like diabetes, receive blood-thinners etc. it can take longer.
3 weeks seem long in my book, I am however a fast healer.
There can be an under... (read in full...)
If I conceive a child could the child be similarly afflicted with the same conditions, as detailed, and already evident amongst family members?
Q. Please help. I don't know how to make a very important decision - to have or not to have a child. My partner of many years, who I am very happy with, is happy either way. He, and myself, have done plenty of research and we're very aware of...
A. 4 October 2015: I would talk to a doctor and see if this can be determined through genetic counseling, there might be a way to tell, there might not. Worth a try to ask.
I understand your fear. And I DO think it's smart to consider this BEFORE having kids.
... (read in full...)
My partner is a virgin. She keeps stalling about starting our physical relationship. What is there to "think about"?
Q. My partner nearly admitted to me that she is a virgin as I think she is as when I approached the subject of us taking our relationship a little further and asked did she want to stay the night with her replying with could she think about. What i...
A. 4 October 2015: How old is she?
How long have you been seeing each other?
Hard to answer with out know those "tiny" details.... (read in full...)
He's an adult. I am 16, Should I politely let him down? What should I do?
Q. I was out last night with friends and this guy approached me and began asking me things about myself and it was clear he was interested. He asked for my number and I gave it to him. Problem is he's 21 and I'm 16 and he wants to meet up (in a public...
A. 4 October 2015: I agree with WiseOwlE
JUST because a guy ASKS you for your number, doesn't mean you HAVE to give it out. LEARN to say no. Or even no, I don't give out my number to strangers.
You should tell him you don't want to met up or talk/text, that ... (read in full...)
Why do guys say romantic things, just to dump you into the friend-zone?
Q. Aunts, This guy I've been dating admittedly not very long, little over a month, just told me tonight that basically I'm in the friend zone. I'm annoyed because he says things like I like you more and more everyday and he sent me a sweet card abo...
A. 4 October 2015: Don't this this guy discourage you from dating. One thing though I have learned is when a guy is VERY romantic right out of the gate and VERY vocal in all these future things you will do together, making promises or declaring deep feeling BEFORE he ... (read in full...)
I Cheated on my boyfriend but now he's harassing me. How should I respond?
Q. I know cheating is a horrible thing but I cheated on my boyfriend. He of course was very upset and broke up with me. Now he is harassing me and getting his friends to contact me and harass me. He put that I cheated on him on Facebook and also po...
A. 3 October 2015: Get a new phone number, contact FB and ask them to take the screenshots down as it IS harassment. Set your own page to friends only, so IF you down the line met a new guy they can't harass him too.
Delete him so you can't see if he starts posting ... (read in full...)
My Bf is always checking out other women. Do all men do this, as if they can't help doing it, even if they are in a relationship?
Q. Hi everyone I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years we have a 10 month old daughter we are happy but lately I have noticed he always wants attention from other women and he is always looking at women if someone walks past he stares at them. I...
A. 3 October 2015: Like WiseOwlE said, no one goes blind because they have a mate/partner. We ALL still notice attractive people.
The DIFFERENCE, I think, between some man and woman is that we don't OGLE because we DON'T want to let everyone know that we find som... (read in full...)
To smoke cigarettes or not? Is there a compromise or a solution we can try to make things ok for us both?
Q. I know what I’m going to write sounds kind of strange, and very long but I guess that’s just the way it goes…. Since I was a young teenager I was interested in trying smoking but I got the chance once at the age of 14 but I didn’t actually go throu...
A. 3 October 2015: Honestly there are MANY other things you can do that give you "calm" and makes you feel nice. Not all of them are healthy. Most of them though are addictive.
And trust me, you start to "only smoke in your garden" and will end up with you "having"... (read in full...)
He booked tickets to come visit me, but I don't want him to visit me. What can I do?
Q. I was traveling Western Europe for a month with a friend and when we were in Lisbon, we stayed at the same hostel for about 3 nights. I got to know one of the guys from the reception, we were making out one evening (me intoxicated), and the next...
A. 3 October 2015: Did he ask or mention to met up with you? Or is he just assuming if he shows up you will want to met up?
Does he know where you live? or have your phone number?
If you don't want to met, then don't.
OR just met up for a lunch or coffee and... (read in full...)
What can I say to my long term partner who has given me Gonorrhea?
Q. My long standing partner has given me gonorhhea as far as im aware and i can suspect where it came from! It makes me sad rather than angry and i realise he has been directing a lot of anger towards me lately. I dont want to see him now anyway becau...
A. 3 October 2015: I hope you have been checked out and are on meds to clear up the gonorrhea!
Secondly, you are 16-17? And your "long time" partner? gave this to you ? I wouldn't want to talk, touch or be anywhere near his STD infected and infecting person. ... (read in full...)
To smoke cigarettes or not? Is there a compromise or a solution we can try to make things ok for us both?
Q. I know what I’m going to write sounds kind of strange, and very long but I guess that’s just the way it goes…. Since I was a young teenager I was interested in trying smoking but I got the chance once at the age of 14 but I didn’t actually go throu...
A. 3 October 2015: I agree with Auntie BimBim and the rest of the uncles and aunties.
I started smoking at 17 - smoked for 10 years, mostly for social reasons, many of my friends smoked too. I also grew up with a dad who smoked and later a brother who smoked. ... (read in full...)
The reconcilliation with my mother is pretty rocky
Q. Hello. I asked for advice on March 17th, I think it was, under the title of "Why am I the family villain?". {Moderator note: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-did-i-become-the-family-villian.html} I was spanked as a child for something I did ...
A. 3 October 2015: I have to agree with Ciar. Though I had a pretty good childhood I too was spanked, and a few times I was spanked for something I didn't do - neither my brother, nor I would rat each other out not would we fess up, so... we both got a spanking.
... (read in full...)
Am I being rational or should I go to the wedding he has invited me to attend?
Q. I met a guy online who lives across the country and we have been talking for 3 years. He invited me to a family function, a wedding, in his state. He says he will pay for the plane and stay. We will be meeting for the first time and I am unsure if...
A. 2 October 2015: I wouldn't met up with a guy for the FIRST time in person at someone's wedding. Someone you don't even know.
And if he can afford to fly you down for the wedding how come he hasn't gone to see you in 3 years? or paid for you to fly down? Dating o... (read in full...)
I'm questioning our moral compatability
Q. Dear Cupid, I'm torn, confused, and seeking your comments. I have been dating Mike for 10 months. I moved in with him a month ago and recently found out (two weeks ago) that he is into threesomes. He was invited (8 months ago) to participate with...
A. 2 October 2015: I would not want to be with a guy who hooks up with people online to be a 3rd wheel in a sex session. No way.
If I were you I'd look for a new place to live asap.
This isn't a one off. My bet is he has dome it before and will do it again, and... (read in full...)
How doI stop myself from kissing my ex?
Q. I find myself kissing my ex whenever we are alone together. I'm not happy with this and really wish to stop it. though I often hesitate to kiss him, but after sometime I feel like kissing him too. We broke up about 4months ago. Pease what can I do...
A. 2 October 2015: Just stick to hanging out in public places with him, if you know that will stop you from kissing him.
... (read in full...)
He asked if he was my first! What did he mean??
Q. So my boyfriend and I recently began talking as friends after we took a break from each other. During our relationship we did have sex and I lost my virginity to him. He knew that I was a virgin and did not pressure me to do anything but I did so ...
A. 2 October 2015: I agree with SVC
Some people (both male and female) have some pretty set notions of what they "think" happens the first time a female virgin has sex - pain, blood, shyness, scared... etc.
So my guess us that your BF didn't really believe y... (read in full...)
He took in homeless people and I'm the bad guy for wanting them out?
Q. Hello all. I really need some advice. Forgive me if this takes too long. My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 years and we just recently moved in a one bedroom apartment together August 1st, 2015. Things have been good until this past wee...
A. 2 October 2015: No, you are not wrong, for not agreeing.
It is easy to be charitable with other people's belongs and money - and THAT is what he is. This IS your home, YOU are responsible for the apartment and whatever happens there. YOU are also the one paying f... (read in full...)
How doI stop myself from kissing my ex?
Q. I find myself kissing my ex whenever we are alone together. I'm not happy with this and really wish to stop it. though I often hesitate to kiss him, but after sometime I feel like kissing him too. We broke up about 4months ago. Pease what can I do...
A. 1 October 2015: Don't be alone with him? Tell him no.?... (read in full...)
I feel my former friend is resentful towards me. Am I being paranoid over this or is there some basis of reality?
Q. I have a previous friend of many years who developed a series of problems and lost the plot a bit. I did every thing I could to help at the time but somehow she translated this into resentment towards me and told mutual friends I was unkind to her. ...
A. 1 October 2015: I think she is stirring the pot as best as she can, I think drama is HER "life-blood", it's what makes her tick.
And I'm not sure why you keep her in your life after what she had done to you. I get that you feel a little sorry for her and that she... (read in full...)
My son dislikes his sister-in-law and her family and won't go on family vacations with them! How do I handle this?
Q. I have two sons. The oldest is 32 years old and the youngest is 30 years. The oldest, Rob, is married with two kids and my youngest, Justin, is single with no kids. About ten years ago, we all went on a family vacation (My husband and I, m...
A. 1 October 2015: I think Justin is a grown man, and he doesn't seem to have ANY problems saying no.
My guess is, the SIL & family wants him there because he is so good with the kids. It's like a build in babysitter WHILE on vacation!! one that the family & the ki... (read in full...)
How do I make this time different after the end of the relationship and stay away?
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for over 4 years. It's been a difficult relationship many times where we break up and get back together again. The way I see it, my boyfriend has real difficulty with low self esteem (although he comes across as a real ...
A. 1 October 2015: How can I make this time different and stay away?
Block his number, go no contact and stick to that. Don't "let" him wheel you back in.
It doesn't sound like a good and healthy relationship, whether it's his insecurities or just who he is, ... (read in full...)
Found out that my b/f has done drugs
Q. Recently I found out my boyfriend did drugs (ecstasy) before he met me. We have been together for a year and we plan to get married in two years. He told me he did it 7 times over a span of 2 years, of which 4 times was with his ex. The most recent ...
A. 1 October 2015: You decide if this is a deal-breaker or not and act accordingly.
To me the lying about it is not a good sign, because if he lied about that what else did he lie about" to not scare you away" and what else WILL he lie about to "not get in trouble"... (read in full...)
I thought the date went well but he just wants to be friends?
Q. Just another sad love song So I met this guy, Pete, through mutual friend and then we stayed in touch via social media and texting for maybe a month I was at a town a little while. Good connections, nothing sexual, lots in common. Finally we mee...
A. 1 October 2015: Take his words for the truth - he isn't that into you. It's not about your looks, it's about chemistry and he just didn't feel it.
Another thing I would pay heed to is that he went on a BENDER - had 4 drinks on a date... big guy or not, the man ... (read in full...)
Am I being too idealistic by not using my looks to my advantage?
Q. Trying to say this without sounding arrogant but I'm OK looking according to our society (relevant to the question). I also don't wear makeup and don't wear revealing clothing but a lot of skirts/dresses because they are more comfortable, which for ...
A. 1 October 2015: Do what feels right for you, but don't judge someone else for choosing another path.
I think many pretty girls DO have advantages, their beauty can also be a disadvantage real fast, as in, people will presume that you aren't as good at your job... (read in full...)
Should I even try to make a long distance relationship work?
Q. I met a guy a couple of years back due to work, but have since moved to another state. I've always liked him, I'm sure he knew after a while, but at the time he was in a relationship. Recently he got in contact with me out of the blue, but sin...
A. 30 September 2015: If neither of you are likely to move closer to the other (due to work, family, whatever) or want to live where the other one is, I'm not sure there is much point to it, as it will be mainly texting and IM'ing and maybe some Skype thrown in there.
... (read in full...)
Can we make this work? Is it a healthy or a toxic relationship?
Q. This relationship has me so confused that I can no longer think straight as the reality of what’s going on. I met my boyfriend about 3 years ago on an online dating website. We are both in our mid 20’s. We met each other after a week and he moved in ...
A. 30 September 2015: I think that you two moved in together WAY too fast, but I suppose that is water under the bridge.
I also think you are both in a unhealthy co-dependent relationship.
He NEEDS you, because with you, he doesn't have to exert himself or pus... (read in full...)
I'm attracted to another mother at the school. I want to make a move, but how?
Q. I have recently met a mother at my children's school. I am so attracted to her. I first met her when I was just coming in from an errand and I was parking my car and then I saw her stop, waiting on me to park. She was one of the most beautiful woman ...
A. 30 September 2015: I agree with Ciar.
I'd back off trying to "get with her". There is a reason she isn't opening up to you, and it's not that she thinks your child's father is your husband. Because she could just ask a "casual" family question, instead? she keep ste... (read in full...)
He made a racist remark. How should I respond? I think reporting him will make things worse for me.
Q. Hi all, I'm a 16 year old female that has just started college and is having some issues. I am on a male dominated course and I know a boy on their from my old school. We got on really well at school but now we're at college he's trying everythi...
A. 30 September 2015: It was an ignorant, stupid AND racist remark, and for THAT alone I'd cut him off. He is no longer a friend and you need to STOP being his punching bag, so he can look good in the eyes of the other guys.
I would want nothing to do with him.
... (read in full...)
I'm ten weeks pregnant and now my Bf tells me he ''isn't sure'' about our relationship. How do I respond?
Q. I'm about 10 weeks pregnant and my boyfriend has just told me he doesn't know if he loves me or wants to be with me. We have always known that we need to make more effort with each other, however which his lazy attitude he just never has. So I ...
A. 30 September 2015: You two have been together for 5 years and it has not been till we went away that he started having doubts? I call BS on him. I'd seriously question what happened while he was away to make him doubt the two of you. My best guess? Another girl (now ... (read in full...)
Why did he disappear when I expressed interest in him?
Q. So I was talking to this guy that I met.We haven't spend time in person yet but we coommunicate regulary.He brought up sex the first time we spoke .Last time he wanted to come over at my apartment but I told him that I'm not comfotable inviting him ...
A. 30 September 2015: I don't think you came on too strong, but he REALLY was just looking for a hook up, but knew the moment he told you that... you would run for the hills.
Let this one go. Move on.
You are doing what is right for you, and that is NOT getting into... (read in full...)
I feel like giving up on dating. Is it me? No one seems to want to be in a relationship.
Q. Hello. I had been seeing this guy recently (about 5months) and things were going pretty well then out of the blue he began acting strange and distant. I asked him why and a first he said he was fine and later said that he thought I was going to ask ...
A. 30 September 2015: Awww, first of, I seriously doubt it's you.
Secondly I'm curious as you where/how you met these guy and thirdly, when you "see" someone (like this last guy) is sex involved from the beginning?
I would think about you having to "change" you, bu... (read in full...)
I don't have any additional time to give my Gf and I feel that she's eventually going to find someone who does have more time. What should I do?
Q. So I'm in a bit of a dilemma. I'm a law student, which takes up a ton of my time. I also have a weekend bartending job to pay my bills, and a gf. So needless to say, I'm painfully busy and don't have a lot of free time. My Gf and I were tog...
A. 30 September 2015: I'm sorry it turned out that way for you, but I supposed you can call it a blessing in disguise.
If she started to date someone a day after the break up? I too would presume that she already knew him in one capacity or another.
My advice, do... (read in full...)
How much do you have in common with your husband/fiancé/boyfriend?
Q. When I started dating my fiancé he told me all about the activities he did with his last girlfriend, such as them jogging together, bicycling and going to a concert. He told me the concert turned into a magical night for the both of them. The ...
A. 30 September 2015: I have done PLENTY of things that are not my cup of tea (like big social gathering, camping etc) because I think you have to push your own limits a bit and I think it's healthy for the kids to get exposed to different things.
My hubby have don... (read in full...)
I am falling in love with my housemate.
Q. Ok so I've just started uni and I've already got feelings for one of my housemates which is essentially breaking the cardinal rule of freshers. It started when he was being really sweet trying to encourage me to get involved with of the flat (I'm ...
A. 29 September 2015: I agree with Tisha.
Chill, little lady. :) School has BARELY started and you are getting yourself into a tizzy over a room-mate.
Take the month (at least) off drinking, you can still have fun with friends just without the alcohol. Focus o... (read in full...)
My husband has started wetting the bed!
Q. My husband is 34 years old, for the past two months he has started bed wetting, he couldn't realize in sleep that his bladder is loosing control, at first i supported him, i told him its OK and all but in 2 months yesterday was the third time in ...
A. 29 September 2015: He should go see a doctor.
http://www.nafc.org/adult-bedwetting/
Yelling at him won't fix this, but I would not really want to share a bed if my husband wet the bed at night...
There are discrete adult diapers for wearing at night, so tha... (read in full...)
I am finally getting on with my life after a bad relatsionhip, but have concerns about the change in myself in increased low tolerance levels.
Q. Dear all, this is not a relationship question, but it kind of is as it is to do with freinds and people. Please can you help me get some insight into this. Thank you in advance. I have recently come out of a bad relationship with a guy,( well abou...
A. 29 September 2015: First of all GOOD for you to walk away from a relationship you knew was unhealthy! That takes quite a bit to do.
I think your journey these past 5 months have been one of personal empowerment. You have found that YOU really ARE the center of YOUR ... (read in full...)
Help ! Should we get back together? Did he really cheat?
Q. First off people of the internet, I apologize for the really long post I really just want you all to fully understand the situation (: So.. I recently broke up with my ex boyfriend because my friend told me she saw him grinding with another gir...
A. 29 September 2015: Is it cheating to dance with another girl/guy? Even if it's a bit of a grind?
I'd say no, but it can LEAD to a more... horizontal mambo if you will. Very easily. And I think overtly sexual dancing with someone who is NOT your bf/gf CAN be inapprop... (read in full...)
I'm not happy and his dog also causes me problems. What can I do?
Q. Hi everyone Hope someone could give me some good advice me and my boyfriend have been together nearly 4 years we have a 2 year old and a 1 year old and he Has a dog a rottweiler that he had when we met we moved in together. He is at work all day ...
A. 29 September 2015: Normally I'm not a huge fan of crating dogs, but on your case, crate training can be helpful. Since you are the one home all day THAT would fall on you to get done though and you seem a bit hostile towards the dog. It's not the dog's fault that your ... (read in full...)
I don't have any additional time to give my Gf and I feel that she's eventually going to find someone who does have more time. What should I do?
Q. So I'm in a bit of a dilemma. I'm a law student, which takes up a ton of my time. I also have a weekend bartending job to pay my bills, and a gf. So needless to say, I'm painfully busy and don't have a lot of free time. My Gf and I were tog...
A. 22 September 2015: Focus on your studies. I have to say if she can't handle how busy you are now, she is deluding herself into thinking that once your studies are over you will have a lot more time. You won't. (if you go into law)
So you can grab the bull by the h... (read in full...)
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