She broke up with me because I'm leaving the country for a year to travel. Anyone else experience this?
Q. Hello guys, I have been in a relationship for 9-10 months. We get along very very well, have lots of fun, similar sense of humour, sex is amazing, similar character and from the same "stock", as they say. However, I have been planning ...
A. 18 August 2015: Not much you CAN do. Accept it. She had decide that she doesn't want to sit on her hands while you travel the World for a year, but she is at the same time cutting you off so YOU can do as YOU please that year you travel.
One of my co-worke... (read in full...)
Is her reaction to his remark just normal social media interaction? Or does it indicate a hook-up with her?
Q. hey guys, got some social media drama for you.. so I am involved with this girl for a while. she just got a new apartment, announces the news on social media bla bla. This guy "friend" of hers responds on it says he cant wait to see it. she resp...
A. 18 August 2015: I think she is just goofing off.
So is she your GF or a FWB/friend? ... (read in full...)
I am having hateful feelings towards a 'friend' and want to let it go, but we work together and it's more complicated, but not just because of that.
Q. Dear all, This is not a relationship question, but a 'freindship' question. Please help. I have been working with a woman ( I too am female) for seven years now. We developed a rather co- dependant freindship. Basically, I was going through a very ...
A. 18 August 2015: Yep, once you set your mind to doing something (even if you are scared to hurt other people's feelings or seem mean) you got to do it - for you.
She does know what's going on, she has gone through this before with other people. She may just not... (read in full...)
How can I tell my sister in law to stop discussing these things with my husband?
Q. "hi, my husband's sister feels possessive about him, they are very close and my husband is a doctor. she talks about bra, nipples and takes suggestion from him about sex, it is normal to have such talks even when I said I'm feeling discomfort by h...
A. 18 August 2015: Just ask your HUSBAND to have these chats with his sister in private as you don't particularly like to hear about it.
I honestly see nothing REALLY wrong in two sibling being open about the subject of sex. With him being a doctor, I bet he at ti... (read in full...)
I am having hateful feelings towards a 'friend' and want to let it go, but we work together and it's more complicated, but not just because of that.
Q. Dear all, This is not a relationship question, but a 'freindship' question. Please help. I have been working with a woman ( I too am female) for seven years now. We developed a rather co- dependant freindship. Basically, I was going through a very ...
A. 17 August 2015: I agree with Tisha on the mail-issue.
TALK to the receptionist (or whomever does mail) ASK her to NOT hand your mail to anyone but you. If she asks why, say you prefer the routines to be professional. No more is needed.
Yes, it would be nice no... (read in full...)
Know of any books on relationship building?
Q. Dear Aunts and Uncles, Can you give me the names of any books that will talk about how a couple should build a relationship from their first introduction to their marriage? Sorry, but I do not want your advice. I want the name of a book to rea...
A. 17 August 2015: While you can learn a LOT from book, nothing beats experience.
The Art of Communicating by
Thich Nhat Hanh
Is not only simply, practical but easy to understand.
Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples by Harville Hendrix.
Might b... (read in full...)
I am having hateful feelings towards a 'friend' and want to let it go, but we work together and it's more complicated, but not just because of that.
Q. Dear all, This is not a relationship question, but a 'freindship' question. Please help. I have been working with a woman ( I too am female) for seven years now. We developed a rather co- dependant freindship. Basically, I was going through a very ...
A. 17 August 2015: Just stop making an effort. If she shows up with "PussNBoots eyes" trying to make you feel guilty, just say hi, and find and excuse to get on the phone or out of the office...
She knows what she is doing is pushing you away, but she also knows.. ... (read in full...)
A question about spenders, why does he expect me to fund him?
Q. Why cant my boyfriend understand that every time he spends his money that he cant account for and comes back picking for a fight when i have little cash of my own to spare, that this creates a problem for me. I am not well off and probably have less ...
A. 17 August 2015: So stop doing things you feel you can't afford?
I'm a little unsure what you mean with your post. Do you mean that when it's your turn to pay, you pay, but when it's his.. he has no money or what?
What exactly does he expect you to fund? His... (read in full...)
I finally told her how I felt and it's like I'm the bad guy. Did I do wrong? Should I have just walked away?
Q. I have a situation that I'm not sure about. I have a girl best friend of eight years. This past year I started to develop feelings for her. I waited until she was single to tell her how I felt. Before I told her she would give me mixed signals, ...
A. 17 August 2015: I don't think it makes you a bad guy at all, however... IF it had been me... and someone I was friends with and had fallen in love with, went on an one with garrulous enthusiasm about someone who was (in my eyes at least) a piece of crap person... I ... (read in full...)
Should I go ahead or should I remain a virgin?
Q. Hello agony aunts. I just came out of a 1 year relationship and honestly isn't looking for a rebound. I met an attractive and likeable guy after. I like him, he claims to like me, I don't care. The thing is I am a virgin and never had sex with my ex ...
A. 17 August 2015: You rather claim to have a STD then being a virgin? WTF?
So you start out with lies... always a good way to start a relationship, whether it's serious or "just" sex....
... (read in full...)
Are her values too at variance with mine for me to consider an ''official'' relationship?
Q. Hey, been courting/dating a girl for 4 months. Nothing to full on but we do have a sexual relationship, looks like things are on the way to being a "official" relationship. Just found out she had a one night stand before we met. (I'm not judging ...
A. 17 August 2015: I guess it's a good thing she has no clue as to how you see her.
I doubt you have changed your mind in the last 24 hours.. You latest update even points to it, but you will continue to date her, hold it over her head that she had a ONS and when... (read in full...)
Are her values too at variance with mine for me to consider an ''official'' relationship?
Q. Hey, been courting/dating a girl for 4 months. Nothing to full on but we do have a sexual relationship, looks like things are on the way to being a "official" relationship. Just found out she had a one night stand before we met. (I'm not judging ...
A. 17 August 2015: My best advice to you OP, is STOP blurring the lines.
IF you are NOT interested in people who do casual sex (such as ONS/F-buddies,FWB) then DATE a girl for 4-6 months with NO sex. IF you think there is something to build on then MAKE it official... (read in full...)
I'm freaking out about my boyfiend's gay fantasies!
Q. My bf and I have recently been engaging in anal play during sex, and he really loves it. He recently confided in me that he has fantasies of being penetrated by a transgender person and he further confided that he would like to experience giving ...
A. 17 August 2015: I would say bi-curious as well.
I think it's more common for men who are bi/bi-curious to want a transgender do things to them versus a guy - because they are worried that these fantasies make them gay.
They don't.
One thing though is h... (read in full...)
A question about spenders, why does he expect me to fund him?
Q. Why cant my boyfriend understand that every time he spends his money that he cant account for and comes back picking for a fight when i have little cash of my own to spare, that this creates a problem for me. I am not well off and probably have less ...
A. 17 August 2015: My guess?
Because you give in and give him money.
If you keep telling him no, I can't give you any money. And if you PAY for yourself when going out, he will eventually stop asking because all he gets is a no.
You are being taken for gran... (read in full...)
Why did I fall for her lies?
Q. I was strung along by this girl who pretended to be my 'friend' but all the time she was carrying on with my ex behind my back. I had a good idea she was - but she would always deny it - so I just carried on as normal doing what friends usually do. ...
A. 17 August 2015: I agree with Notsohappy
Don't waste time feeling bad, you didn't DO anything bad - SHE did. She turned out to be a horrible friend, a backstabber, liar, and cheat....
She has nothing to be proud of when it comes to how she "got" her man...... (read in full...)
Am I being dangled?
Q. Am I being dangled? I met a guy recently on a dating site. He's a older guy and at first seemed gentlemanly. His profile stated he wanted long term nothing casual. We got chatting and took it offline, not long into this he sends me a spooning meme ...
A. 17 August 2015: I agree with SVC,
He is a time-waster. He likes you, BUT not enough to actually date you.
He is trying to juggle many women at the same time, basing in all the attention.
Personally, I'd look elsewhere for a guy to date. Just block his num... (read in full...)
Is it worth me hanging on in there as his friend and waiting for when he's ready?
Q. I have met a lovely man who is currently going through a divorce after a very long marriage. I have been divorced for 10 years and have been single for most of that time. We're both in our early 60s. Over the past two months we've been seen ...
A. 17 August 2015: I think you you already know what's up here.
He will see you as a friend and down the line when he is ready (and he CERTAINLY isn't now) he might pick someone else, someone who hasn't seen him at his lowest.
If you want a relationship HE ... (read in full...)
Should I go ahead or should I remain a virgin?
Q. Hello agony aunts. I just came out of a 1 year relationship and honestly isn't looking for a rebound. I met an attractive and likeable guy after. I like him, he claims to like me, I don't care. The thing is I am a virgin and never had sex with my ex ...
A. 17 August 2015: You have known him for a week, WHAT is the hurry?
And your statement :"Afterall most people lost their virginities to people they didn't want to. "
Is the WORST reason to have sex with someone. WHY not be one of the few who is happy with wh... (read in full...)
Why does he seem to have so much rage?
Q. Im in need of relationship help.... Heres the problem: Ive been with my guy for almost 3 years now. And just like any relationship there are arguments that happen. My guy has a problem with me "being real / speaking my mind" but that's just the type...
A. 17 August 2015: 1. Accept that you CAN NOT change a man who DO NOT wish to change. Change is something HE has to want. And he doesn't want to change. It's his way or the high way.
2. His ex isn't the reason. HE made a child... HE pays child support. While it... (read in full...)
Its hard to let him go even though I know he plays games
Q. There is this guy that I started talking to in the summer of 2014. Towards the end of the summer he had gotten upset with me and we stopped talking. Then him and I starred talking again when he sent me a text. This time when he came back into my ...
A. 17 August 2015: He is what I'd call a call A time-waster. He likes to play games, he likes you make you feel crappy (making you feel bad makes him think that you will EVENTUALLY think you are OH so lucky that he is even talking to you).
Your friends have already ... (read in full...)
I hate these pictures!
Q. Hi, I know this may sound silly but I'm really upset.... I got married a few months ago and recently got back my professional photo album and dvd. I was reluctant to have a photographer as I hate pictures of myself as I know I'm not photoge...
A. 16 August 2015: First off the amount of likes is irrelevant. Don't sweat it.
Secondly, I BET you... You can find some pictures in all of them that you DO like. Select those and SHARE them with your guests.. OR... DRESS up and have your husband or a good friend t... (read in full...)
Are her values too at variance with mine for me to consider an ''official'' relationship?
Q. Hey, been courting/dating a girl for 4 months. Nothing to full on but we do have a sexual relationship, looks like things are on the way to being a "official" relationship. Just found out she had a one night stand before we met. (I'm not judging ...
A. 16 August 2015: You say you are not judging, but you are. Several times in your post..
"I feel like this has really devalued the way I see her now."
So you TIE in HER value to her sexuality.
"Feel silly for bothering to date and court someone who would ... (read in full...)
Am I appearing to be too eager, via my texting actions, considering he never initiates a text conversation?
Q. I hooked up with someone via tinder. Met twice; sex once. Both agreed to continue no strings. Both like each other. Think I like him more. I don't want this to be a short term sex thing more long term friends where he continues to see me as a frie...
A. 16 August 2015: I think you got exactly what you "bargained" for. Tinder is "hook up" site NOT a dating site.
You two did "hook up" and he is off to the next girl (I would be surprised).
He wasn't looking for GF, but someone to casually have sex with.
If ... (read in full...)
Is it weird that the guys in this one family in my small town always stare at me?
Q. Hi Agony Peoples. I'm just lookig for some insight. I work in a small town in a small business and there is this one family who always stare me out of it. They are all men and older than me. Some of them never married or had girlfriends because ...
A. 16 August 2015: Eh they just sound like a bunch of weirdos to be honest... That would absolutely creep me out.
Though I'm sure they mean no harm, they might be doing it because you are one of the FEW young ladies around who is polite to them.
... (read in full...)
Is my mother and law driving a wedge between my husband and I? Because since my miscarriage I feel like leaving my husband.
Q. My husband and I just lost our first child through miscarriage, and while my family have been supportive and giving us time, his mother has driven us apart and he can't see any of what she is doing as wrong. First, she told my brother in law a...
A. 16 August 2015: First off I'm sorry for your loss. Going through a miscarriage is hard, physically, mentally and emotionally.
I think your family is partly right, but I also think you are using your dislike for your MIL to make her to bad guy in all this. It... (read in full...)
Could she be sleeping with other men, or intending to do so?
Q. My long term friend with benefits recently told me that she needed some space, and she was emphatic that I respect her wishes. Here's the confusing part: we still have sex a couple of times a month, and when I do leave her alone she will reach out ...
A. 16 August 2015: I think you have BEEN "just pleasure status" if you two have been FWB long term - people tend to decide; "you know what? I want more!" So they have a half-assed blurred FWB/semi relationship but do NOT go the distance and decide I want this or I ... (read in full...)
Is There Any Point Dating If I'm Only Staying Somewhere Temporarily?
Q. I have a temporary job which will last for 6 months to a year (depending on my progress) in a certain city. It's an OK city, but I am moving somewhere else (on the other side of the country) after I finish and can afford to live somewhere a bit ...
A. 16 August 2015: Life doesn't always go as planned. YOU could for instance meet a guy who CAME from the place you want to go... that he will be going there at some point too.
The world is not really such a big place at times. I met my husband on a vacation... (read in full...)
Should I find some new friends who are like us and don't have children?
Q. I want to start by saying that I hope what I'm about to write doesn't appear selfish as its really not my intention. I have 3 really close friends and we have all know each other since school (give or take 12 years). We are all married and 2 ...
A. 16 August 2015: People with kids.. (I'm one of them) can talk about other things than kids, but parents end up having a life revolving around their kids. It's pretty natural. Some are able to "walk and chew gum" (basically able to adapt to whatever situation they ... (read in full...)
Is online date getting ahead of himself with me ?
Q. hi everyone, ive joined a dating site and have been talking to one particular man for 2 month and we are meeting next week . the thing is i think hes pinning all his hopes on me . he messages me and calls me sexy (im far from that ) he also tells me ...
A. 16 August 2015: I think he is just really bad at wooing you. I DO agree that if he has this whole FANTASY build up in his head that you are his his future wife etc. it's a HUGE FAT red flag.
You have common sense and you seem quite capable in staying grounded... (read in full...)
I want to break up but my boyfriend doesn't, how do I go about this the right way?
Q. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for a little over 5 years. He is a nice guy, but I am not in love with him anymore. I find that we have drifted apart, no longer have the same interests, and that my feelings have just changed ove...
A. 16 August 2015: You two don't live together do you?
If you do, well you need to find another place (IF it is his place) or give him 30 days to move out (IF it's yours).
If you don't live together it can be a bit easier to do this. Met up in a neutral place, i... (read in full...)
The sex is bad and he mistreats me. Walk away?
Q. So, I have been seeing this guy he is really great we had our Rockey moments, the only thing is he has a really small penis It is about 2-3 inches. Him and I had sex once but it was really bad he was embarrassed, that his penis kept slipping out of ...
A. 16 August 2015: A guy NEEDS to have skills in bed other than inserting his penis. If he can't please you and he acts disrespectful, it's not going to get better.
The sex CAN improve (no matter the size) but it takes effort of both sides and the willingn... (read in full...)
Am I betraying my best friend by getting with a guy she slept with?
Q. I really need some advice. I met this guy on a night out 7 months ago, we swapped numbers and started talking. Things got quite flirty, there were pictures exchanged and things like that. I told my best friend about this (who was also out that night ...
A. 16 August 2015: On one hand I can't see why you should pursue him, after all she KNEW you two were talking and flirting but she STILL went to stay with him and having sex.
On the other hand, she must have known him a fair bit better than you for her to ask him ... (read in full...)
Is our relationship over? He blocked me and then he unblocked me. But he is not initiating any conversation with me.
Q. My boyfriend blocked me both on facebook and whatsapp after he claimed that he need time to make-up his mind on wheretheir he wants me or his EX in June. Now in August he unblocked me and never initiates conversation? What is the meaning of blocking ...
A. 15 August 2015: I would presume it's OVER. Why he unblocked you is anybody's guess... maybe he wanted to make sure YOU didn't move on... in case the ex doesn't pan out.
So if I were you, I'd block, delete, unfriend him as he is NOT your friend, nor does he seem ... (read in full...)
I've said something I regret, what do I do now?
Q. Hi I am looking for quick advice about a problem with my boyfriend, I don't know what to do, I've said something to him that i regret and now he isn't speaking to me. I have had intimacy problems with my boyfriend because he is on medication wh...
A. 15 August 2015: I think he is taking his issue out on you, and that isn't fair.
I don't think what you said what wrong or cold, you stated the truth - did you not? You COULD go out and have sex with a Tom, Dick or Harry - but you CHOOSE to be with him and rema... (read in full...)
Is it selfish to now tell him my feelings?
Q. Ok so for a while now I've liked one of my guy friends, I've been sort of hoping it would go away but it hasn't. The thing is now he has a girlfriend and I'm scared I've missed my chance to tell him how I feel because next year we won't see each...
A. 15 August 2015: I DO think it's selfish and servers no other purpose than for you to tell him.
He HAS a GF. You won't see him any more after the summer.
What's the point?
So you like him, you have a crush... What is telling him going to change? You are... (read in full...)
What kind of guy tries to get intimate on a first date?
Q. I recently met this guy some days back through a mutual friend and we had some chemistry. We went out and then I stayed over at his place because it was already too late to get to mine which is far. He tried to get intimate with me. I wanted it ...
A. 14 August 2015: It is hard to tell, BUT having the first date that ends at his house? Not smart. Even if you have met him through friends, he is still a stranger to you.
He could be saying he wants something serious, because he KNOWS that is what you want and... (read in full...)
His preference for 50:50 on everything is making me feel more like a mate, than really special to him. Is my concern justified?
Q. I have been dating my bf 2 months officially. The first month he was paying for almost everything and I felt like a real lady. Now things have started to be split 50:50. He recently invited me on function with his mates and the cost was $150 pe...
A. 14 August 2015: I think when he "invite" you to an event as his +1 the cost should be on him. However I can see how $300 to BRING you (versus $150) can be a big steep for most young guys your age.
I think saying I'd love to come, but I can't afford a $150 tic... (read in full...)
Should I let my Gf's sister know how I feel about this sister of my GF?
Q. Dear Cupid... I have been going out with a girl for almost 4 years but i have always found her younger sister more attractive, lately i have been having thoughts about letting her know how i feel about her. I know she is attracted to me ...
A. 14 August 2015: End it with your GF.
Mt guess is the saying "blood is thicker than water" will most likely prevail and the little sister will not want to date you. If she does, she is not a great sister and it will create a LOT of hurt feelings and drama and THAT... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says that he owns me and will say he wants to hurt me during sex. Is this the beginning of an abusive relationship?
Q. I started dating my boyfriend coming up for a year now. I'm 25 and he's 45. From the moment we met we got on great and always love being in each others company. But a few months ago I had a night out and he went very weird with me saying he didn't ...
A. 14 August 2015: So he hand picked you partly because of your background. He knew you didn't have a solid support system and not the same kind of boundaries. And then he moved you in. My guess is he was REALLY nice to start with and then it got progressively worse.. ... (read in full...)
My fiance wants total control of our lives and I don't think I can handle that
Q. I have been through a lot in the past three years with my fiance, we have been fighting about our finances. I am more of a saver, and he is more of an investor. I say investor because he has this "vision" of being successful. Howver, I feel as ...
A. 14 August 2015: You know a relationship should be 50/50 when it comes to bigger decisions. Whether it's investments, purchases, arranging furniture etc.
If he can not DO all the thinks he DREAMS of doing without your money, then how realistic IS this "investm... (read in full...)
Is it appropraite for a guy to bring two of his friends on a first date with a girl?
Q. Is it appropraite for a guy to bring two of his friends on a first date with a girl? I met a guy for the first time on a proper date and he brought two of his male friends like a group date. I told him off straight. I am so angry. Is this even right ...
A. 14 August 2015: I think a group date is fine for a first date, BUT for him to show up with TWO male friends without telling you first? No. Not OK.
It sounds like he was either worried of being "catfished" or he wanted to make sure he had a "way out" if he didn'... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says that he owns me and will say he wants to hurt me during sex. Is this the beginning of an abusive relationship?
Q. I started dating my boyfriend coming up for a year now. I'm 25 and he's 45. From the moment we met we got on great and always love being in each others company. But a few months ago I had a night out and he went very weird with me saying he didn't ...
A. 12 August 2015: I agree with SVC
It's already abusive.
He doesn't OWN you. What a total DICKWEED! He is manipulative, controlling and using you as he person little lolita f-doll.
My guess is he thinks he is Christian Grey from that f-up book, 50 shades of ... (read in full...)
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