I'm not happy and his dog also causes me problems. What can I do?
Q. Hi everyone Hope someone could give me some good advice me and my boyfriend have been together nearly 4 years we have a 2 year old and a 1 year old and he Has a dog a rottweiler that he had when we met we moved in together. He is at work all day ...
A. 29 September 2015: Normally I'm not a huge fan of crating dogs, but on your case, crate training can be helpful. Since you are the one home all day THAT would fall on you to get done though and you seem a bit hostile towards the dog. It's not the dog's fault that your ... (read in full...)
Can I save this situation? What can I do if the girl I like is starting to show less interest?
Q. Dear all To summarize, a girl i like may be losing interest. what should i do? I met this girl online 15 days ago, she lives about 1 hour away. we did not meet via a dating website, she chose to contact me as she had just moved to the area. ...
A. 29 September 2015: Why not send he another message, suggesting you two find a time/day for a meet up and since she is the one who works a lot - leave the ball in her court to give you time/date.
IF she doesn't reply to that... move on.... (read in full...)
I'm 14 and in UK. He's 17 and in USA. How can I manage the crush I have for him? The first thing he asked is "did I want to see his .
Q. Okay so I have been talking to this guy on Snapchat and Instagram he's 17 and lives in America first thing you need to know is he's a boy and I think I've kinda fallen for him. He asked me if I wanted to see his dick and of corse I said no then...
A. 29 September 2015: If I was your mother or older sister, I'd tell you this. It is NOT OK for him to offer a 14 year old a "wiener pic" here in the US that is actually illegal. It's called distributing porn to a minor. And showing YOU his, at some point he would want ... (read in full...)
I recently discovered that my husband had secretly taken nude photos of me while we had sex. How would you react
Q. Would you be a) be flattered and not let it bother you, b) be disgusted c) feel violated d) be angry and could never forgive him e) be confused f) wonder if he secretly takes pictures of other women in public unbeknownst to them g) be on edge if ...
A. 29 September 2015: Brown Wolf - I love your advice but in this case, what about consent?
Even if it IS just for the husband, don't you think he NEEDS her to AGREE to have her picture taking during sex?... (read in full...)
Is Using A Dildo If You're A Virgin Safe?
Q. I'm saving it for the right guy. Anyway, I want something "up there" but I'm pretty sure I haven't lost my hymen as I've barely even fingered myself and I feel really tight because I am petite. I can get myself to orgasm without penetration ...
A. 29 September 2015: Any insertion can tear the hymen. Be it a finger, dildo or a tampon. You can also tear it from riding a bike, riding a horse and other strenuous exercises. You might not even have noticed any bleeding from it. It can be VERY minor.
Virgi... (read in full...)
The man that I am dating doesn't know how to tell his lady friend about me
Q. Dear aunties and uncles I posted on here in June about a man I have been seeing: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/do-you-think-it-is-worth-me-continuing.html I am 55 and 4 months ago I met a man who is 60. 8 months before we met he had me...
A. 29 September 2015: I would tell him to tell her, now (not right before the events) that way if it upsets HER she can back out.
If he won't tell her, for whatever lame excuse, I'd say bye bye.
I remember your first post and I don't think things have changed sin... (read in full...)
Is my local Starbucks barista flirting with me?
Q. Is my local Starbucks barista flirting with me? So everything I go to my local Starbucks the same guy is there. When I first encountered him he told me that my nails was pretty. I'm guessing that that is a icebreaker. And another time he told he ...
A. 29 September 2015: Baristas are usually pretty social and chatty - it's their job to make buying coffee an "experience" for people.
I'd have male (and a couple of female) baristas not only remember my name but my preferred drink when walking it (oops maybe too many... (read in full...)
I recently discovered that my husband had secretly taken nude photos of me while we had sex. How would you react
Q. Would you be a) be flattered and not let it bother you, b) be disgusted c) feel violated d) be angry and could never forgive him e) be confused f) wonder if he secretly takes pictures of other women in public unbeknownst to them g) be on edge if ...
A. 29 September 2015: I'd pick all of the below:
b) be disgusted
c) feel violated
d) be angry and could never forgive him
h) wonder if the pictures are on the internet
i) wonder how long he has been doing this
j) think there is deeper issues... (read in full...)
Is it possible for someone to sleep 12 hours a day for weeks at a time?
Q. Is it possible for someone to sleep 12 hours a day consistently for weeks??? He sleeps at 3am every night and doesn't wake up until 3pm or later in the afternoon! Then he takes his time to get up, shower, and go get food to eat. Then he rests a bit ...
A. 29 September 2015: Has he seen a doctor recently? It could be depression as well, the fact that he rather sleep than look for work.
12 hours a day is excessive.
SVC is correct some people "do better" or "feel better" at night. Some feel worse and thus can't sleep... (read in full...)
I'm incredibly attracted to him but not ready to have sex after only one month and 4 dates!
Q. I have been dating a guy for almost a month. We met on a popular dating app and hit it off immediately on our first date. We talked for hours and ended up having to be told to leave the restaurant because they were closing. He took me out for dinner ...
A. 28 September 2015: I think when he suggest the venue for next date, that IF he mention his house, you tell him I'd rather stick to dates in public.
As for deleting the app, yes I think it's too early to request he deletes it, to be honest.
As far as teh texting, ... (read in full...)
My childhood friend is passively mean to me!
Q. Hey all, So I have this friend I grew up with. He is a little eccentric in his behavior but we had a fun childhood together. He was my best friend for a very long time. As we grew, I guess he started liking me and still does I guess. I love hi...
A. 28 September 2015: So that's a special bond to keep right?
--------------
Not if he is constantly trying to "punish" you for not liking him back.
Not if he starts to have a negative influence on you and your life.
I would back away a bit from him, not te... (read in full...)
Is it weird that I'm not interested in dating?
Q. I guess I don't quite know how to put this in the form of a question. Basically I'm just curious if it's really so bad to not have an interest in dating? I have told myself that I'm most likely asexual although I'm attracted to men, j...
A. 28 September 2015: I don't think it's weird to not want to date.
For YOU, right now, dating isn't a priority or something you want and THAT is OK. I don't think you need to "fix" yourself so you can date people.
BUT if there are thing about yourself that YO... (read in full...)
He felt me pulling away so he lied to me about where he was!
Q. Dear Cupid, I'm newly divorced and have been dating a man for 9'months. He has been separated from his wife for 6 years, filed for divorce 4 years ago and the lawyers still have not reached an agreement. I was initially worried dating him since hi...
A. 28 September 2015: I am with Ciar. KEEP your dignity and walk away.
Funny that he BLAMES you for pulling away, like that is a GOOD reason for him to lie to you.. it's not.
I SERIOUSLY doubt that he invited the wife because the kids demanded it. I think it was bec... (read in full...)
I'm still dealing with the emotional trauma from a past rape but my boyfriend hasn't been understanding. Should I leave?
Q. 2 years ago I was raped and recently I received a lot of compensation for what happened to me. I left my job I was in after I was raped as I worked in a Pawnbrokers and I had a lot of regular customers who were men, lots of them would try flirting ...
A. 27 September 2015: I'm so sorry you went through a rape and a trial.
My advice to you? GET professional help. One )or more of these link might be able to provide you with a counselor with expertise in rape counseling. I'd suggest you find a female counselo... (read in full...)
Our daughter is stealing from us how do we stop it?
Q. I am married with one child who is 16. Like most teenagers my daughter has gone through rebellious stages but I feel as if it is going too far. My daughter for the past 4-5 months has been stealing money from us. After about 50 dollars being...
A. 27 September 2015: Oh and I forgot, I would have her grounded and give her a curfew when the grounding is over.
So she can GO to school and come straight home. NO hanging out with friends, no going to the Mall or what not. TILL she has worked off the money she is g... (read in full...)
I realize we aren't compatible but feel obligated to stay with her. What shall I do?
Q. Dear everyone I started to date a girl about 6 months ago and we started a relationship. We both knew it would become long distance but we both accepted it and said we'd give it a go, but we both understood they often don't work out. we accepted...
A. 27 September 2015: You are NOT obligated to stay in a relationship that is not working out for you.
You are NOT responsible for her mental health either.
She is using manipulation to make you stay in a relationship with her.
What she is saying is that she NE... (read in full...)
Our daughter is stealing from us how do we stop it?
Q. I am married with one child who is 16. Like most teenagers my daughter has gone through rebellious stages but I feel as if it is going too far. My daughter for the past 4-5 months has been stealing money from us. After about 50 dollars being...
A. 27 September 2015: What is she spending the money on? And as far as the money/stuff she has been stealing, I would make her WORK the money off. You daughter sounds rather brazen about it and that would worry me the most. The fact that she seems to think she is ... (read in full...)
I love my boyfriend but can't stand him being abusive to me
Q. Hello guyz,have been dating this guy for a month now. He is so sweet,kind but a lil selfish. The problem is that he drinks too much and everything . He was drunk the other night and was verbal abusive,he said a lot of things and call me so many ...
A. 26 September 2015: You are setting yourself up for more abuse by keep seeing this guy. He things a few pretty words and some "gifts" will excuse his behavior and all is forgiven, so this will become a pattern. He hasn't HIT you yet, but it wouldn't surprise me if he ... (read in full...)
How do I approach the subject of looking after my sisters to my fiance?
Q. Since I was 19 I have been the sole guardian for my younger sisters due to our mother passing away and their father is no longer around. They were 4 and 8 at the time of her death and wanted to stay with me in our family home and our relatives ...
A. 26 September 2015: I agree with WiseOwlE
You HAVE to bring it up. He needs to understand and accept that you are a package deal, you and your sisters.
I also agree that 6 months is a bit soon for talking marriage. I hope you two will have a lengthy engageme... (read in full...)
How do I soften the blow? I want to break up with him and he has no idea I feel this way!
Q. Hi. I've been with my boyfriend for nearly a year now and he says he's madly in love with me and that I'm his soulmate, but I haven't been feeling the same the past few weeks and I've decided I want to break up with him. My question is, how should I ...
A. 26 September 2015: There really is no nice way of breaking up. And I think wanting to be friends is ... not a good thing either. Because that means you want him in your life but you don't WANT him. You still want the support, but not him as a BF and that I think is a ... (read in full...)
Confused by one night stand. Was I too harsh on him?
Q. Dear all. Please can you throw some light on this. Thanks. I have recently come out of a long abusive relationship and feel happier than ever. I've been out partying and dating and having a great time. Anyway, last weekend I met a guy I was stro...
A. 26 September 2015: Don't be ashamed, you had a roll in the hay with you young man who made the sex great for you and himself. WHAT is there to be ashamed of?
Nothing.
I think he blocked you on the app to make a point, as he might have felt that YOU were regrett... (read in full...)
I know that we are amazing friends but my question is, is it possible to have a 'bond' with a guy friend?
Q. Hi, so I'm currently studying for a degree and have a close group of friends made up of three girls and one guy. Myself and the guy are close friends and when I went through a breakup of a very long relationship he was an amazing friend to me and ...
A. 26 September 2015: I agree with Janniepeg and Tisha here.
It is possible to have a tight bond with someone of the opposite gender. But whether it's entirely appropriate is a whole other matter.
He has a GF, so I think you should DIAL down your behavior around ... (read in full...)
Confused by one night stand. Was I too harsh on him?
Q. Dear all. Please can you throw some light on this. Thanks. I have recently come out of a long abusive relationship and feel happier than ever. I've been out partying and dating and having a great time. Anyway, last weekend I met a guy I was stro...
A. 26 September 2015: I have to agree, I don't think you are really wanting ONS, going by your behavior.
His on the other had is not. The fact that he was suggesting to leave you and go hang out with his mates, means that he isn't interested in more than sex. Now he M... (read in full...)
Should I cut contact with my ex? I'm worried about my new boyfriend
Q. I've met and am in a new relationship with the most amazing, incredible man I have ever known. We both make each other very happy indeed and already have very strong feelings for one another. I feel very relaxed and comfortable around him and he is ...
A. 26 September 2015: I don't think there is one answer to this.
Some people are capable of being platonic friends (and no more)with an ex, some are not. Some always have a component of flirting, sexual banter etc.
I'd talk to your BF how he feels about being frie... (read in full...)
How do I message a girl I've never talked to before without seeming creepy?
Q. So there is this girl who I follow on Instagram and have thought was gorgeous for a good year now. She is best friends with a friend of mine (whom I still talk with occasionally). I got out of a year and a half long relationship at the beginning ...
A. 26 September 2015: I agree with WiseOwlE
If she is a friend of YOUR friend - ask for an introduction in person.... (read in full...)
I tricked my boyfriend because I wanted to know if I could trust him and he failed!
Q. i made a fake profile to test if i can trust my boyfriend, i added and chat with him and ask if he had a girlfriend and he says yes, but the next day i ask him to meet up at a private place and he agrees. after i confronted him he said he's sorry ...
A. 26 September 2015: I agree with Denizen
You set your bar too low. Do you think that because you tricked him once with this trap that he won't cheat on you ever again? Or that he will just be much smarter about it?
Your BF is "forgiving" you for setting the trap... (read in full...)
I tricked my boyfriend because I wanted to know if I could trust him and he failed!
Q. i made a fake profile to test if i can trust my boyfriend, i added and chat with him and ask if he had a girlfriend and he says yes, but the next day i ask him to meet up at a private place and he agrees. after i confronted him he said he's sorry ...
A. 25 September 2015: I agree with Cindy and SVC
He did fail BIG time. He had already told "the fake you" that he had a GF, so he could EASILY have told "the fake you": "look I'm with someone, I can't meet up with you."
And it wasn't like he wrestled with hi... (read in full...)
He complains about being bored and he's rude. Should continue seeing him or just leave?
Q. Please correct me if I am wrong!but I am really mad at a guy I am seeing for a little over a month. So on our last date(which was yesterday) he called me over to his place and no we did not even kiss it was us just hanging out and having dinner,b...
A. 25 September 2015: Eh, doesn't sound like there is much to recommend this guy. And you don't sound like you are all that attracted to him either.
I'd move on.... (read in full...)
Dating and men that don't disclose that they are still involved with someone. Anyone else have this problem?
Q. I'm a single mother. I don't have a problem with being single. I get asked out plenty. My concern lies with the men that do ask me out. Lately, I've been getting asked out by men who are father's. That's fine but quite a few I can't say for sure ...
A. 25 September 2015: I don't think it's too uncommon, unfortunately for people (not just men) to try and get a little "something" on the side, thus not telling you that they actually aren't single.
I would (when meeting someone) take it very slow till you are sure the... (read in full...)
How long to wait to have sex with a new partner? Do I have to tell him how bad my sexual experience was with my first boyfriend?
Q. I'm dating a guy who is 7 yrs older than I am which is fine as I really like him, however I'm the younger one at aged 22 years. We haven't spoken about our past yet with regards to my past boyfriends. I had a really bad time with my first boyfrie...
A. 25 September 2015: You wait till you are comfortable with the idea of having sex. Leave the past in the past, this in a new guy, new experiences - don't hold this new fella responsible for what some ex did. Telling him that you are fairly inexperienced about sex and ... (read in full...)
Do I stay? Just dating yet he expects me to be full time stepmom without the promise of marriage?
Q. My bf won't marry me but expects me to be a full time mom to his child while he works and goes on vacations. I'm feeling trapped. His son in five and has displayed major violent and angry behavior. He has attacked other children during outings a...
A. 25 September 2015: I'm sorry for you and for the kid. This is not a good situation at all.
This guy takes VACATION and leave you to watch his son? Wait what? You and the kid don't go with him on vacations? WHY not?
His son who really does need some kind of cou... (read in full...)
How am I supposed to continue into the future with someone as spiteful as she has been towards me?
Q. I've been dating this girl on and off for a little over three years and I just recently found out that whilst we weren't together for a short period of time, she had sex with a guy that was clearly my enemy, but she didn't come clean about it until ...
A. 25 September 2015: Well, I think since YOU feel it's a deal-breaker for her to have slept with this guy that you should end it.
Though, THIS is what happens when people have on/off relationships. It's bound to happen that either of you could have had sex with som... (read in full...)
Been divorced for ten years and happy now. But now my emotionally abusive ex wants to come back and live with me since the death of her partner. How do I refuse my ex-wife's request?
Q. I have an ex wife who was continuously unfaithful to me and was abusive, she divorced me about 10 years ago. I have been much happier since our divorce. We have a daughter together who is now 17. She moved in with me about a year ago after confid...
A. 25 September 2015: Oh my!
No, you do not have to let her move in with you. She managed contact with your daughter while living elsewhere she can continue this.
She does want YOU to take care of her because she has no one else to do it. She isn't doing this for h... (read in full...)
What should I do? He does not want to talk about it, but money keeps disappearing from our joint funds
Q. I need some advice as I don't know what to do. I have been married for 6 years. For the past year or so i have slowly but surely noticed money gone from our savings. Now we are careful about our money and we never touch our savings unl...
A. 24 September 2015: Ask the bank for a printed itemized statement. It will give you date/time/amount and who took it out. If you share back account but have two different atm/debit/credit cards linked to the account it is easy enough to see WHO took the money out and ... (read in full...)
How can I learn to really stand up for myself?
Q. I often let people run over me and talk to me any kind of way. Especially ones that are not my family. It's like my mind goes blank and I don't know what to say. It's like my mind runs scared. But I get disrespected to the point to where I want ...
A. 24 September 2015: Start small. And don't expect yourself to change overnight. Learn to say no and mean it. Learn to say, that is pretty rude, I think I'm done talking to you. (if a person is rude to you).
Witty comebacks are nice to toss at people, but if you have... (read in full...)
My daughter spent most of her inheritance from her grandfather on silly things and is now asking me for money to cover her education. Should I tell her how I feel about the situation?
Q. Around February of this year, my 20 year old daughter got about 20k from her grand father when he passed away. Now our family doesn't really come from a wealthy background, so when she got this money I was very happy for her and tried to encoura...
A. 24 September 2015: I would tell her there is community college OR getting a part time student job. That you and her dad just don't HAVE that kind of money, and that was the biggest reason you told her, when she inherited the money, to put it too good use. She chose to ... (read in full...)
My father is dying and his partner of 20 years is unsupportive! How do I help my dad?
Q. This is not a LOVE relationship issue but it is a relationship issue. I normally am the one to give advice but this is something I am willing to hear all sides on. Background: My dad is nearly 81 and he is dying. He has non-treatable meta...
A. 24 September 2015: It's good that he is doing better! Maybe Agatha is stepping it up (even with being sick?) or maybe your Dad have some extra strength in him because of his kids.
Go Dad!
... (read in full...)
I don't want to seem mean to my new neighbors but feel they are asking too much of me
Q. About 4 months ago, a new family moved in across the street from me and the mother seemed to be struggling moving boxes into her house so I went over to both help her and welcome her into the neighborhood. I met her and her 3 children and the...
A. 24 September 2015: Yikes!
Sounds like you are a VERY nice lady, and that the woman doesn't really have much of a safety network yet.
I get that she might have been through a horrible divorce, but you don't OWE her anything. I think it's nice to help out others,... (read in full...)
I need advice for my daughter who is living in a filthy one bedroom apartment with 4 children and one big dog! Her husband is never home because he's at his church!
Q. Desperate I need an advise for my daughter who is married with four children, my daughter and her husband works five days a week. They been living in a one bedroom apartment and one big dog since my first grandchild was born 6 1/2 years ago, the...
A. 23 September 2015: One thing i having a small home, another... is the filth. If your daughter is the one taking care of the bills (rent and such) why doesn't SHE find a bigger place and inform the husband that look, I have found a bigger place the home we have is too ... (read in full...)
What exactly are morals?
Q. What exactly are morals? I would define morals as standards set by society. Are morals flexible? I am very guarded about my sexual side. I have often read about people who give advice on this forum saying keeping your body till marriage is outdated. ...
A. 23 September 2015: Since YOU are the person who has to live with you 24/7/365 for the rest of your life, I would go with :
"a person's standards of behavior or beliefs concerning what is and is not acceptable for them to do."
As long as you can understand and r... (read in full...)
Is this his anger speaking or should I break it off with him?
Q. So , I ve been talking to and hanging with this guy I like for a year and some ... He's never really asked to be my boyfriend or make it official. I have but he didn't give me a direct Yes. Anyways, He says he likes me, he said he loved me once or ...
A. 23 September 2015: Should you take him back? Are you serious?
After that whole spiel about your mother? Just eww. What a creepy thing to say.
Not only that but his apology including telling you it was all YOUR fault as well? Good grief this guy is full of himse... (read in full...)
My father is dying and his partner of 20 years is unsupportive! How do I help my dad?
Q. This is not a LOVE relationship issue but it is a relationship issue. I normally am the one to give advice but this is something I am willing to hear all sides on. Background: My dad is nearly 81 and he is dying. He has non-treatable meta...
A. 22 September 2015: Man, when it rains it pours!
I agree with C. Grant (as usual) that I would focus on what YOU (and your brother) can do to make his days/months/ hopefully longer as good as possible.
All I can say is, I get being angry at her for being "usele... (read in full...)
My father is dying and his partner of 20 years is unsupportive! How do I help my dad?
Q. This is not a LOVE relationship issue but it is a relationship issue. I normally am the one to give advice but this is something I am willing to hear all sides on. Background: My dad is nearly 81 and he is dying. He has non-treatable meta...
A. 22 September 2015: Aww, that is quite a hard thing to deal with. And it's even harder for your dad as he had hoped he would have in her a partner through thick and thin, but only got himself a "goodtime girl". (as my grandfather called them).
If she was my "sort of... (read in full...)
What exactly are morals?
Q. What exactly are morals? I would define morals as standards set by society. Are morals flexible? I am very guarded about my sexual side. I have often read about people who give advice on this forum saying keeping your body till marriage is outdated. ...
A. 21 September 2015: Well the definition of morals:
mor·al
'môr?l/Submit
noun
plural noun: morals
1.
a lesson, especially one concerning what is right or prudent, that can be derived from a story, a piece of information, or an experience.
"the moral of t... (read in full...)
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