How do I tell the girl I'm dating that my female room mate is actually my ex wife?
Q. Hi, well I met this girl two times, we are going out again, , I wonder when should I let her know, I have a woman roommate, but the thing, about it is, my room mate is my ex wife, we have teenager, I have custody, we are just friends, you see she is ...
A. 24 October 2015: Yep, tell her the truth.
And IF she is OK with it and you two start to date seriously -LET her met your wife, and your wife met her. That way there can be no mistake as to why you are doing what you are doing.
I will say this though, there ar... (read in full...)
Do I cut my losses and move on? He keep coming up with excuses why we can't meet!
Q. why do guys do things the way they do , ive been chatting with a guy online for a while and we reached the point to delete our profiles even tho we hadnt met by that stage , weve arranged a few times a date but he keeps coming up with the most ...
A. 24 October 2015: How many times have he cancelled so far?
I kind of agree with WiseOwlE's 2 cancellation rule. Specially if there is no real reason behind it.
And I would also suggest that you DO NOT agree to deleting your profile till you have met in person an... (read in full...)
I surprised him by doing the housework but he reduced me to tears. Is this guy worth being with?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 8 months. Last night I went over to his house but got there an hour before he did. The house was a mess with dishes and dirty laundry everywhere so I thought as a surprise before he comes home I would clean. (as a ...
A. 23 October 2015: I'm 100% with YouWish.
He is ONLY dating a woman because he needs a new maid, after all the "old maid" (aka the wife) left him.
The fact that he used the " My ex wife set the bar for cleaning very high" was his way of trying to tell you that he... (read in full...)
Do I stay friends with people who sneak around behind my back?
Q. Hi agony aunts, I recently had two female housemates move in (about 2 months ago) and started hooking up with one of them for a few weeks until she decided it wasn't what she wanted. In this time I had developed some pretty strong feelings for her ...
A. 23 October 2015: She doesn't owe you squat. Your BFF? Prioritizes with his little head rather then the one up north. Since you weren't serious about her, he probably felt why couldn't HE have a go at her, if she was willing - AND she was.
YOU were hooking up with ... (read in full...)
What can I do to NOT be a control freak and be the best girlfriend I can?
Q. I have been in a long distance relationship for several months now. He is in the military and has a great deal of responsibilities and the majority of his day majorly structured and planned out for him. I work full time, but have a good deal...
A. 22 October 2015: What can I do to NOT be a control freak and be the best girlfriend I can?
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By accepting the FACT that if you DO go down the "I need to control everything" you WILL lose him. Sooner or later.
By accepting that lying (yes te... (read in full...)
Can I get this girl to like me more?
Q. I met a girl on an online dating site a few months back. We had a great emotional and intellectual connection and got along great. However, we made the mistake of not meeting quickly enough. So while our connection deepened significantly, we still ...
A. 22 October 2015: Is there anything I can do, or, if she's not feeling it, she's not feeling it?
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Sorry, OP - there isn't. You can't MAKE people like you or feel something for you, they JUST don't feel.
Instead of keep trying with this ONE gir... (read in full...)
The ex and a FWB relationship. I want her to be honest with me and not jerk me around!
Q. Okay, so thank you all for reading and responding, I truly appreciate it. Okay, so what I'm going through is not a huge deal but I do not want to make it into a big deal. Some information about me: I am 21, senior at college. So basically, my ex gi...
A. 22 October 2015: Make sure YOU know what you want. You say IF she is serious, so are you. Which means you leave EVERYTHING up to her. Which again means, SHE can screw you over and you can't really "complain" because you agreed to it (up to a point, if you get what ... (read in full...)
My ex's new girlfriend is out to get me!
Q. Since my ex split up with me back in March and went straight with another woman, this girl has done nothing but try and wind me up. Ive let them get on with things, I never publicly slated her or tried to split them up even though on this inside I ...
A. 22 October 2015: She can't leave you be because she sees you as a threat.
Change your privacy settings so only friends and acquaintances can contact you (you can change it down the line).
I do think it's "normal" that a single mom of many kids will want her NE... (read in full...)
How do I fix that I cheated on my wife and then kept lying about it?
Q. Over 2 years ago I broke and destroyed my wife's heart by having an affair, at a time when we should have been at our happiest expecting our first child through IVF. On revelation of what happened I cowardly hid the truth in order to save our rela...
A. 22 October 2015: Try and let her set the pace. Whether it's for moving on or working it out.
I think right now she is torn on so many direction, and if you "act" moody (as you call it) you might actually push her further FROM you then you intend to.
IF she ... (read in full...)
My ex's new girlfriend is out to get me!
Q. Since my ex split up with me back in March and went straight with another woman, this girl has done nothing but try and wind me up. Ive let them get on with things, I never publicly slated her or tried to split them up even though on this inside I ...
A. 22 October 2015: I agree with YouWish
She is living rent-free in your head, because YOU LET her.
BLOCK her FB, BLOCK her phone number/his phone number/ if she has your e-mail - set it up so HER (and anonymous e-mail) go straight to spam/trash - CUT him and her ... (read in full...)
How do I fix that I cheated on my wife and then kept lying about it?
Q. Over 2 years ago I broke and destroyed my wife's heart by having an affair, at a time when we should have been at our happiest expecting our first child through IVF. On revelation of what happened I cowardly hid the truth in order to save our rela...
A. 22 October 2015: You may not call it abuse.. But it is. MENTAL abuse.
And I will quote you:
"I belittled her and let her believe a story of lies. I continued this lie for two years allowing her to have anxiety attacks while her confidence was destroyed and I ... (read in full...)
How do I fix that I cheated on my wife and then kept lying about it?
Q. Over 2 years ago I broke and destroyed my wife's heart by having an affair, at a time when we should have been at our happiest expecting our first child through IVF. On revelation of what happened I cowardly hid the truth in order to save our rela...
A. 21 October 2015: You can't fix this one. But you CAN start by respecting your wife's choice to NOT want to be with you any more.
Cheating in itself is a pretty messed up thing to do in a marriage, but you systematic abuse to cover your OWN ASS is an unbeliev... (read in full...)
Do I have reasons to be frustrated with my boyfriend?
Q. Im currently frustrated with my boyfriend. Can you please let me know if I have reason to be frustrated or I'm just totally pms-ing? My boyfriend's friend got into an accident and needed to bring his car to get fixed at the autobody shop. My boyfr...
A. 21 October 2015: You BF is a good friend and maybe.... a bit of a push-over when it comes to this friend, HOWEVER that is HIS choice (your bf's) - if he is WILLING to DO all this for a friend, then that is on him. Now if he whines to you about it, I'd just tell him ... (read in full...)
Am I being played? I've me a wonderful girl, but she's unhappily married.
Q. I met a wonderful girl at the end of june, and i have fallen so in love with her. and she said she feels the same way too. But she is married and unhappy. so now nearly 4 months in to this crazyness im feeling like im being played. we meet u...
A. 21 October 2015: Yes, you got played. You are the "mistress" in this scenario, the dirty little secret of hers.
If she was OH so unhappy in her marriage, she could have left, divorced, but what does she do? She CHEATS (with you). What does that tell you?
... (read in full...)
How can I dress to hide my muscular legs?
Q. Do you guys think my body type is weird? I'm around 5 ft. 105 pounds, I'm very athletic so I have muscular thighs and I have a decent sized butt, all muscle and toned. I'm a double zero and have a 4 pack. My legs are longer and I have a short torso ...
A. 21 October 2015: Don't hide them - enjoy them!
Don't go for skinny jeans. (no one should)
I agree with bootcut jeans, yoga pants, leggings and knit-dresses and boots.
Don't tuck tops in, go for the little longer top - top should end at the hip bone ore a li... (read in full...)
Is the wife really accident prone or trying to assault the husband?
Q. Wife hits me 3 times in groin with point-point accuracy but says they're all accidents. 1. Wife wakes up and tries to get blanket from husband who's weight prevents her from getting blanket. Wife then does an open-palm strike through the blan...
A. 21 October 2015: That is hard to say, to be honest. I DO think it's a little TOO coincidental that it's your balls/groin she hit/kick EVERY time in these 3 episodes. One thing is her hand hitting that area, but her foot? Sounds odd. For her to hit/kick you so HARD ... (read in full...)
My husband has cheated on me and I'm not sure if I should have children or even stay in this marriage
Q. My husband and I got married 5 years ago. We rushed into marriage after a year of LDR, during which I found out he had a 3 year old kid with somebody else. I believed him telling me he had no relationship with the mother of his child (Ana). A couple ...
A. 21 October 2015: Whether he cheated with the ex or not, it's hard to say. But it's one of those things that will ALWAYS loom over your marriage. Mostly because you KNOW he has lied to you about things concerning "Ana".
My biggest concern is that you are SO young... (read in full...)
My piano teacher and I are close, but is it too close?
Q. My teacher and I are very close. He always tells me I'm his favorite student and we always joke and have interesting sometimes inappropriate conversations. He told me I'm beautiful, he always gets upset when other people hit on me. And he has hugged ...
A. 20 October 2015: How old is this teacher?
And how CREEPY is he?! That last one was a rhetorical question, I agree 100% with YouWish this is NOT OK behavior from a teacher/tutor. He doesn't need to be touching you, and he shouldn't have sexual banter with you eith... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of one year is pushing to get married and I'm not ready for it!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year. I am 32 and he is 37. Neither of us have been married or have children.We live about 40 mins from one another. Here is the problem. He has been putting the pressure on me very heavy the last 4-5 ...
A. 20 October 2015: I think most people have GREAT instincts, but they often make the mistake of NOT following those instinct.
You don't write what kind of issues you two have, but if you are having serious issues after ONLY 1 year I FULLY agree that they NEED to ... (read in full...)
How do I protect my children from the unwholesome things online?
Q. Hi I am a 31 yr old mother. I have 5 yr old daughter and 3 yr old son. Now a days the children are tech savvy. Even the films, their promos show some porn like scenes, objectinable language, offensive actions like raising middle finger and sometimes ...
A. 20 October 2015: A 3 and a 5 year old should be on the Internet unsupervised. YOU can use various parental blocks for which websites you allow various users though - I know 10 years ago, my kids were having limited access and mostly only for games on CD/certain ... (read in full...)
Why did my ex give up on me? Why does he do things with his fiance that he refused to do with me?
Q. We dated for three years. He went through some tough times and I was always by his side, helping him and never leaving him. We went through a bad patch, argued every day. He said we needed a short break. He said he will always love me and be there...
A. 20 October 2015: I agree with the aunties and uncle.
Breaks rarely work in relationships. The only time they actually work is when there is a break so the ISSUES can be worked through separately. You two didn't do that.
He initiated a break up, but he called it... (read in full...)
Opened up to him about my vulnerabilities about having sex and now he says he might leave me!
Q. Hi! I have been here before but it was now some time ago. I met a very nice man about 2 years ago and things went fine for quite some time but then I started not wanting to have sex, even feeling very bad about having it. This had happened in ...
A. 19 October 2015: Yes, your update popped up after I posted my answer - sometimes timing is a little off :)
What you been through is not a small matter, but it's also a matter many many men (especially) don't want to deal with or rather can't handle. It's not like... (read in full...)
Having sex with him was so unsexy I felt like a was doing a shft at work!
Q. I have recently started dating again and have been seeing this one guy in particular for a couple of months now. Last night things progressed further than they have and we moved to the bedroom, however it was a bit of a disaster in my eyes. He s...
A. 19 October 2015: I'd talk to him.
I would NOT be satisfied with giving handjobs to a guy who is laying like a limp fish and eyes closed too... Wow, that I would take as an ... He is JUST not that into me physically.
I don't think his reluctance was because he d... (read in full...)
Advice and Help or shall I give up.
Q. have recently separated from My wife and I did not want this she did. Due to a number of issues. Which are 1.A family member causing a Rift and I was not there for her properly during the 1st pregnancy 2. Me making silly mistakes 3. Not...
A. 19 October 2015: You are still sticking you head in the sand or fingers in your ears going na-na-na-na I can't hear you!!
There is not instant fix for this.
YOU need to accept that AS things are right now, nothing you can say or do will work, my guess is... s... (read in full...)
No matter how much I show him the moment I don't it's like everything else I do isn't good enough
Q. My boyfriend gets upset/frustrated with me when I don't give him a hug or cuddles because he wants me to show him some love. I'm not like him because I like my space and I don't really like cuddles all of the time. It's not the case at all that I ...
A. 19 October 2015: 5 Languages of love - read it and suggest HE reads it too.
That way you can BOTH define how you like to GIVE and receive love.
I'm NOT a big hugger. I hug my children, I hug my husband and THAT is about it. I don't hug acquaintances or... (read in full...)
Opened up to him about my vulnerabilities about having sex and now he says he might leave me!
Q. Hi! I have been here before but it was now some time ago. I met a very nice man about 2 years ago and things went fine for quite some time but then I started not wanting to have sex, even feeling very bad about having it. This had happened in ...
A. 19 October 2015: I don't think he wants to leave you because of what you have shared with him, but because you are STILL reliving it. THAT won't change for you, unless YOU do something about it. YOU really need to get help for the past traumatic events. HE can't fix ... (read in full...)
I've moved on, but maybe he hasn't?
Q. We broke up about 6 months ago and we go to the same uni. Basically he strung me along in the summer asking for a break but ultimately i broke up with him and he accepted without a fight. I cut contact with him and pass him almost everyday in the ...
A. 19 October 2015: I'd tell him that he needs to quit, and leave your friends be. After that? I'd block his number, he has no reason to text you at 3am.
And DO yourself a favor and tell your friends/housemates that they can FEEL free to ignore him.
My guess is h... (read in full...)
Guy keeps staring at me and holds his gaze. Does he like me?
Q. There is a guy at my uni that keeps staring at me for a long time. During the lesson, he would turn his face at me and stares at me, andhe ddoesn't look away when I catch him staring at me, he would turn his face after 10 seconds and then he ...
A. 19 October 2015: He could be interested in you or he thinks he can intimidate you.
Only way to find out, is get to know him - IF you are interested in him. If you are not... ignore it.... (read in full...)
My brother uses my depression against me when it is convenient for him!
Q. I am having an issue with my brother. We currently live together, and cannot move out due to various familial reasons. He does not do his share of the housework, and I am constantly picking up after him. The most common offences are leaving food out ...
A. 18 October 2015: I agree wholeheartedly with Auntie BimBim.
STOP cleaning up after him. Now I get if there is food on the floor/counter it needs to be cleaned up, ants/cockroaches is nasty business.
Apart from food stuff DO NOT pick up after him. ... (read in full...)
I'm not ready for sex until I'm sure he's the one! What do I do?
Q. I'm 22yrs in a relationship with a boy, who is ready to do anything for me and keep telling me he has gotten to his last bustop. He those ask me for sex But he is not pressuring me to give him my virginity and I'm scared of losing him because he ...
A. 18 October 2015: He IS pressuring to have sex, if you have told him you aren't ready and HE keeps bringing up - THAT IS pressure. He is NOT respecting that YOU are not ready.
If SEX is more important to him than MAKING sure you are ready, then LET HIM GO! Ther... (read in full...)
Went on a date, it went very well, now he's not messaging back, what have I done wrong?
Q. Hi aunts and uncles. I went on a date with a guy just over a week ago and completely hit it off with him. I could tell he was quite bowled over with me and was very complimentary and we had a lovely time. He said he wanted to see me again but I w...
A. 18 October 2015: I don't think you made any mistakes, but why NOT arrange the next date?
Maybe pick something you both like to do and then give him to time/dates you are available on. THAT way the ball is in his corner - if he doesn't get back to you.. chalk it... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's ex is sending me screenshots about him cheating! Help!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for nearly three years now. He has a kid with another girl. I love him so much and thought he was the one until tonight whenI got a bunch of screenshots of texts from his kid's mom about them hooking up. Apparently they ...
A. 18 October 2015: It's SO easy for a guy to dismiss an ex and her "antics" as "OH she is so crazy, she is faking those messages". Because YOU don't really know her or the relationship they have/had.
If I had a dollar bill for EVERY-TIME a guy is making excuses ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is living with a female housemate, is supporting her and I also found out they were involved at one time. Any advice?
Q. I've been with my partner for almost two years and we have a fantastic relationship together apart from one issue that is causing some tension between us. We don't live together, but he lives with a female "housemate" and her son. He financially ...
A. 16 October 2015: There are 4 people in your relationship. Him, her, her son and you... the 4th wheel. You are the STRANGER at his house.
And if the child IS his, nothing will change anytime soon - and if the child is not his, but he feel THIS strongly about ta... (read in full...)
It sounds to me as if he's attracted to me emotionally, but more attracted to his ex physically. What do you think?
Q. Why did he tell me he always looked for porn of women who looked like his ex yet when I asked him if he ever did that with me whilst we are apart ( LDR) he said he did only once . It makes me feel very unattractive to him when we can't be together ...
A. 16 October 2015: Why did he tell me he always looked for porn of women who looked like his ex ?
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I think Male Nonny is right that he is PLAYING on your insecurities. Making you feel like you are in competition with some other other woman, and o... (read in full...)
His ex had big boobs. I have tiny boobs. What chance is there that I can overcome my insecurities over this?
Q. I just don't know how to feel? My BF and I have an on an off again relationship when we first started I wasn't ready to settle down, yet even though at that time he deserved it. He was so sweet and 100% everything I wanted in a man but I was mu...
A. 16 October 2015: I am looking at this differently.
This is not really about little boobs versus big boobs.
This is about trust. You CHOSE to cheat with a guy who had a GF and he CHOSE to cheat on her with you. So my guess is that your brain is saying if he wil... (read in full...)
Checkout confusion - flirting or just friendly customer service?
Q. There's a cute cashier at the grocery store I frequent in my town. It has been a LONG time since I dated or even really flirted with anyone and I'm not sure how I'd signal my interest to someone I don't know that well or only in a "profess...
A. 16 October 2015: Have you asked your brother about him? That would be my first move. To see what your brother has to say.
Then I would do a little "internet research" and see if he is single. IF he is just a flirt, friendly and outgoing person WITH a GF, I would ... (read in full...)
Why he does not stop taking to this girl who is married?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 11 years and we have a child together. He recently turn 30 and it was very hard for him. I am a year younger than him. He recently met this girl who was not married when he met her she was engaged and was ...
A. 16 October 2015: You know... it makes no sense for him to keep her around as a "chit chat" buddy if "he says she means nothing to him ". And since they met on her hen-night out, I would NOT be surprised if something went on between them - I have been on enough ... (read in full...)
Do I risk looking rude if I refuse to hug in future? Or do I have to fit in and do something I feel uncomfortable doing?
Q. Hi all, I come from an Asian country, where hugging is not common. I will be moving to Europe next year for my studies, and perhaps work there. I've lived there for half a year before. During that period of time, I met many people and they ...
A. 16 October 2015: I don't think you risk looking rude, if you stick out your hand to shake hands instead of hug people.
You have every right to keep your personal space yours.
If someone doesn't notice your need for personal space and "dislike"? of hugs and stil... (read in full...)
How do I push my bf to leave his parent's house?
Q. My bf and I have been dating for 3 months now. He is 26 and im 22. We both are very alike, and very much comitted to each other. He even gave me a promise ring. I understand that we are still very new to each other since, we've only been together ...
A. 15 October 2015: How do I push my bf to leave his parent's house?
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You don't.
First of all, you have been dating for 3 months. Second of all while his Dad might be a clean/neat freak it's HIS house and if he likes it clean, the least you and... (read in full...)
Could it be masturbation causing bad luck
Q. Could it be Masturbation causing me bad luck?? Im one person who hated wanking n everything those days went on very well. Happened one day when i got some advice form a friend who told me that jerkin yourself helps to last long during sex. De...
A. 15 October 2015: No, masturbation doesn't cause bad luck. You are just associating your bad luck, fights with the GF with the masturbation rather than the REAL issues.
The reason you associate "bad luck" it with masturbation is because you think you shouldn'... (read in full...)
What should I do in this terribly strange work situation?
Q. I am currently doing a 12 month apprenticeship in Business Admin at a company in the city centre. The company only just started at the beginning of this year, so they are new to the industry this is why I thought having the opportunity would be a ...
A. 15 October 2015: Talk to the company who is going to assess you. And see if you can get your apprenticeship either terminated or transferred to another company.
I think the BIGGEST reason you don't like the job, is because you have nothing to do.
So if you CAN... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is living with a female housemate, is supporting her and I also found out they were involved at one time. Any advice?
Q. I've been with my partner for almost two years and we have a fantastic relationship together apart from one issue that is causing some tension between us. We don't live together, but he lives with a female "housemate" and her son. He financially ...
A. 15 October 2015: OP - is the child his?
That is the ONLY reason I can see him REALLY wanting to make sure the kid is taken care off.
I think he is gas-lighting you.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is living with a female housemate, is supporting her and I also found out they were involved at one time. Any advice?
Q. I've been with my partner for almost two years and we have a fantastic relationship together apart from one issue that is causing some tension between us. We don't live together, but he lives with a female "housemate" and her son. He financially ...
A. 14 October 2015: Why is HE supporting her? Is the kid his? Because she is a friend? I mean I get that you can "take in" a friend till they get back on their feet, but no matte how saintly or good friend you are... 10 years is WAY to long to "help out" a friend.
... (read in full...)
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