Why? He hates when I become sexy and flirty with him.
Q. I'm normally like this but he seems to have a go at me when I've been drinking. He hates it. Like even if it's behind closed doors and only to him, he would hate when I dance for him sexily and strip so to speak. I don't drink much and never g...
A. 20 March 2016: It sounds like you are wasting your time trying to become a mind reader.
YOU two are no longer together. Why waste time on trying to sort him out? There is literally NO point to it. who knows? (except him).
IF he had wanted you to not drink at ... (read in full...)
What support and advice can I give to my friend who has been trying to break up with her married lover? He does not want to let her go.
Q. so my best friend is involved with this married man. she is very naive and had just spent the last 3 years healing from a very bad emotional abusive relationship. she joined the military as an officer and at her first duty station, she was paired w...
A. 19 March 2016: I have spend 16 years as an "Army wife" so while you might think I'm judging her ability to do her job based on only my own personal beliefs, that isn't so. I have SEEN officers go down for having inappropriate relationships. 2 lost their ... (read in full...)
What support and advice can I give to my friend who has been trying to break up with her married lover? He does not want to let her go.
Q. so my best friend is involved with this married man. she is very naive and had just spent the last 3 years healing from a very bad emotional abusive relationship. she joined the military as an officer and at her first duty station, she was paired w...
A. 18 March 2016: Not "all" married men will toss the mistress under the bus, specially if the wife doesn't give them an ultimatum or if the wife "thinks" the husband will keep his promises and not see the mistress any more.
Some wives will turn a blind eye in o... (read in full...)
We’re back together so why is he on a dating site?
Q. I decided to dump my boyfriend but afterwards realised i didnt want to do it i was feeling low im much happier now , The thing is 2 week ago he said he wanted to give it another go and we made plans to meet but i was ill with tonsillitis so ...
A. 17 March 2016: I'd would ask him that question.
My guess is though, that he has gotten any bites on the dating site and THAT is why he wanted to get back together with you. So he HAS someone while he is looking for greener grass. The fact that he is still VE... (read in full...)
I just want to know was it wrong of her to accuse me of being a liar? Shouldn't she trust me more as a "best friend?"
Q. Essentially, today one of our mutual friends asked to hang out while I was on some errands, so I told them I might meet them up if I get back in time. Well, I came back and turns out I had family visiting from another country, so had dinner aroun...
A. 17 March 2016:
Was it wrong of her to accuse you? Well, yes I think so. She could have been honest and told you how she saw things, and maybe she DID... But I can also see it from her point of view and yes, it DID look like you couldn't be bothered to hang with... (read in full...)
My alcoholic ex wants us to be a couple again. I love him but am very confused
Q. Last year I decided that in order to help my ex sort this drinking out, I had to leave him instead of letting him get away with it all the time. Now he wasn't an alcoholic, more of a binge drinker which meant he would be away from work for a few d...
A. 17 March 2016: I think he is putting WAY to much responsibility onto your shoulders over HIS drinking. A binge drinker IS an alcoholic. Their pattern is different than a "normal" daily drinker. The thing that they DO have in common is that they can't stop ... (read in full...)
Should he already know that he should be contributing or is he taking me for a ride (using me)?
Q. My boyfriend hasn't got much money but he got a full time job a few months ago. He had been waiting to be paid but the company was waiting for all the paperwork to go through first so when he eventually got paid it would be in a lump sum (back dated ...
A. 17 March 2016: I can't improve on Tisha's advice.
READ it and have a chat with him.
YES, you have "spoiled him" by doing all this cooking and paying for him for a long time, but that doesn't mean that you are NOW stuck doing it forever.
Now that he has... (read in full...)
He never initiates! Is he into me?
Q. I've been dating a great guy for two months. He texts me every day and is very sweet. We have gone out on some dates but usually only on weekends. I mentioned wanting to spend a bit more time with him more than once a week and he thought that was ...
A. 16 March 2016:
Maybe he doesn't want to seem pushy, maybe he hasn't dated in a long time.
If you don't want to just sit at home and snuggle, arrange some dates out about town that you think you both would enjoy.
However, IMHO it's ONLY been 2 months, so wh... (read in full...)
Good connection but he stopped initiating. Did he suddenly lose interest?
Q. I posted last week but would appreciate some further advice. I don't have much dating experience especially post-school and I think I'm having a hard time. I've been on 6-7 days with a wonderful guy and we have an amazing connection. I thought we ...
A. 16 March 2016: I agree - WAY too early to worry.
Go in the date and enjoy yourselves over the week-end. And don't overthink things. I believe if he wasn't interested in you he would either have ignored your text or cancelled the date, he did neither.
Taking ... (read in full...)
We can have a family - but only if he gets his dreams first. What to do?
Q. I've been with my partner for almost seven years. We got engaged a year ago but no plans on a wedding yet. Over the years we have talked about children - we discussed it very early on that it was something we both wanted. Over the last year or so ...
A. 16 March 2016: Well, I think this is where some couples get to at some point.
My question is to you, have you asked him why YOU are the one who is supposed to give up everything for HIS dream (it doesn't sound like you SHARE his dream) and why now?
I have ... (read in full...)
Why does my on-again, off-again BF behave this way?
Q. I am here to try and understand why my on-again, off-again BF behaves this way. After months of trying to talk to him about issues, I gave up, stepped back and started doing my own thing. Issues ranged from how we would see each other once a mon...
A. 16 March 2016: I think he just doesn't want you to start looking elsewhere, even if... he doesn't really WANT to be in a serious relationship.
If it's been ON/OFF for 4 years, it's CLEARLY not working. If it was there would be no OFF here and there. And having a... (read in full...)
Should I ask her out again or should I take it as her not being interested?
Q. I have the biggest crush on my coworker. We hardly see each other or have alone time at work. When we do work together I feel a lot of tension and I get nervous around her. I think she may sense that I like her because I do stare at her a lot. We...
A. 16 March 2016: I would leave the ball in her court.
And I agree with Danielepew, dating co-workers is rarely a great idea.
And if she ISN'T into girls like you are, it's even worse. That is beyond awkward.... (read in full...)
Can I do anything to help? My dad is in a very controlling relationship. And I don't know what to do.
Q. He's been with her for 15 years. I was 20 when they met, so I was off in college and on my own after that doing my own thing so I never had much interaction with them except when I'd come to visit periodically on short visits. Like for a weekend a ...
A. 16 March 2016: I would HATE to see my own dad in such a situation, so I understand you.
But as long term partners she DOES have the right to "expect" things from him. Maybe not what YOU and I would expect from a partner, but that is something they have worked o... (read in full...)
Should I give up on him completely or talk to him? Or am I wasting my time?
Q. For about a month I've been talking to a guy I met through a dating app. As we got to know each other more, he said that he really liked and wanted to get to know me better and go on dates together. At first he said numerous times that he's ...
A. 16 March 2016: Look at his actions. His actions matches the "I'm not ready to date seriously". Not the "I want a serious relationship."
A guy who was looking for a serious relationship would put in the effort and "work" in getting to know you.
I'd move on. ... (read in full...)
My friend slept with my FWB gal. Do I have the right to be upset?
Q. So I would like some opinions on this topic. This is an area I've never treaded into before and would like some perspectives. I've had a friends with benefits relationship for the past 5 months. We have a bit of a different style relationship than ...
A. 16 March 2016: I agree with Cindy.
You can and can't really get upset.
You friend (male) knows that it JUST a FWB you have with the friend (female) so he presumed it's not serious or... exclusive. You even said it's not exclusive - which means..
SHE ... (read in full...)
He poked me in the side , is he into me??
Q. Was travelling home in the bus. I saw a guy who has started being friendly with me. I am usually quiet and reserved but I always greet people in a friendly way. Today , as I was getting off at my stop, he poked me in the side of my belly and smiled. ...
A. 16 March 2016: I think that is creepy behavior. He is "invading" your person and personal space - how is that "cute"?
If he wants your attention he can open his mouth and talk.
I don't know why you think you have to put up with that.... (read in full...)
What can I do to manage my own feelings? This relationship is pulling me down
Q. Dear everyone, I am in my first relationship with my partner for 2 years and 3 months now. During the first 12 months, everything seems so perfect and sweet and I was wonderfully showered with love and attention everyday. Eventually, the honeym...
A. 16 March 2016: I think you need to have these talk in person, OP - not over text.
Texts leave a lot to interpretation, it makes you read between lines that may not even exist.
TALK to her, and do it face to face.... (read in full...)
My Boyfriend's ex just will not let go. Shall I attend the wedding we're both invited to, or stay away?
Q. My boyfriend is taking me to a wedding and his ex, who is Very much clearly still in love with him, will be there. Should I go to this wedding? I don't want to end up causing a scene. FYI, my boyfriend has told her to move on and that they won...
A. 15 March 2016: I agree with Tisha, if you can't behave like an adult and with SOME dignity - stay home.
If you want to show HER that she means nothing to you, then go, look fabulous, behave with manners and grace. And avoid her as much as you can, and I'd say ... (read in full...)
Despite his reassurances, there’s something telling me not to trust him. What should I do?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for about 6 months and in the first month we started dating, I found out that he was messaging other girls on Facebook wanting to hang out with them. I just found out recently and when I called him out on it, he ...
A. 15 March 2016: I don't think he would have told you either and I find it rather pathetic of him to push the blame onto you.. with the "I don't trust you". But it made you feel bad enough that you seem to think you have to STAY with him to prove that you trust him ... (read in full...)
Was I wrong to offer something from my Mom’s estate to my brother’s ex-wife?
Q. Help someone, Thanks you to all who help here. My mom died.three years ago.My sister and I went.through boxes of things that belonged to mom....I have some China which will help me to remember my mom. My brother and his wife split a decade ago....
A. 15 March 2016: It's china not family heirlooms, I presume.
I think some people get VERY petty after the death of a loved one, and instead of understanding that THINGS can never replaced a loved one they somehow seem to focus on materialistic stuff, money an... (read in full...)
Ex moved on with someone else quickly. Does this mean he was over me before we even broke up?
Q. Hello maybe someone can help me out, thank you in advance. My ex and I broke up back in late January and within almost a month he got into a new relationship. We were together 3 1/2 years so him moving on in just a month kind of hurt me because ...
A. 15 March 2016: People move at different speeds emotionally.
I would, like you, presume that there was more going on that what he said to you. They were bonding emotionally before you two broke up, but to say that they DEFINITELY cheated is hard to say for sure... (read in full...)
Time and time again I take him back, only to be rejected again!
Q. I am seeking advice, I have been involved with a man whom ive been on and off with for 5 years. we were together for a solid year and a half, and he broke it off. The breakup was devastating for me, I thought he was the one. since then we have bee...
A. 15 March 2016: I agree BLOCK his number (or even better GET a new phone number), block on social media and well, and if he shows up at your house don't answer the door.
WHY do you do it? Well, maybe part of it is that you don't LIKE rejection (no one does) an... (read in full...)
I am in a lifeless relationship!
Q. I feel as though I'm in a lifeless, passionless, boring relationship with my long term boyfriend. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. At first it was exciting and very passionate. But time took its toll and that passion has been lost. Ou...
A. 15 March 2016: I too agree with Auntie BimBim
He is fine with status quo. He is fine with not having to make an effort any more.
For you to "settle" for this at 22? That is a shame.
I'd give him the boot as well, I would not try counseling, personally. ... (read in full...)
Does Online Dating work for men?
Q. So I have been trying to make sense of this... Does online dating really work for men? I ask this because I put up my profile on 2 sites (one famous paid site and one famous free site) and I'm very disappointed with the results. I have a decent ...
A. 14 March 2016: I'm NOT on dating sites so my advice is from watching with some fascination, a good friend (female) and my BIL who have both tried the online dating thing.
1. Sending a thoughtful message is nice. But DO consider that she might have gotten 1... (read in full...)
Why? He hates when I become sexy and flirty with him.
Q. I'm normally like this but he seems to have a go at me when I've been drinking. He hates it. Like even if it's behind closed doors and only to him, he would hate when I dance for him sexily and strip so to speak. I don't drink much and never g...
A. 14 March 2016: When you are with a guy don't be a "character" BE you.
Maybe that is part of the problem? That you try and play a role instead of being you? And you then end up coming across as either having multiple personality disorder or just... being fake.
... (read in full...)
After cheating on me 3 weeks ago, why is my Bf not doing everything to regain my trust?
Q. My boyfriend has cheated on me recently(three weeks ago). I ask him to delete the woman on social media, block her number etc. He did. However, she still pops up in different messengers and such. when i ask to for the passwords to his accounts he ...
A. 14 March 2016: If he is doing nothing to regain your trust... why are you still with him?
My guess is he is presuming that since you are still with him what he did wasn't "that" bad. And since he isn't trying to show you that he is remorseful, which could be... (read in full...)
Why ask? What does it mean when a guy asks me 'what does love mean for you? How to reply to that?
Q. What does it mean when a guy asks me 'what does love mean for you?'. He asked me was in the middle of our conversation, and i was pretty much surprised and thought, why would he ask me about a thing like this?...
A. 13 March 2016: Curiosity. Or to come off as a "deep thinker". Maybe you use the word LOVE a lot when you talk, so it goes back to curiosity.
I think it's east to give a general definition of love that more or less everyone can agree on, but a personal one migh... (read in full...)
What support and advice can I give to my friend who has been trying to break up with her married lover? He does not want to let her go.
Q. so my best friend is involved with this married man. she is very naive and had just spent the last 3 years healing from a very bad emotional abusive relationship. she joined the military as an officer and at her first duty station, she was paired w...
A. 13 March 2016: It's pretty OBVIOUS that he isn't good for her OR her career but she is pulling the "I love him!' card out as an excuse to continue his and HER bad behavior and really, when people use the "I love him!" as an excuse there isn't much you can do to ... (read in full...)
I'm 20 years old and my overprotective parents are driving me crazy!
Q. Hello everyone, I'm really needing some help right now. I'm 20 years old and still have to tell my parents where I'm going who I'm going with what I'm doing and if they think I'm lying they will check up on me and ask my friends if I'm there. I...
A. 13 March 2016: Oh, and I forgot to add, YOU could do a "preemptive strike" and CALL/TEXT your mom/dad and let them know ahead of time that you will be gone for the week-end and back Sunday around XX o'clock.
While you might FEEL you shouldn't HAVE to tell the... (read in full...)
I'm 20 years old and my overprotective parents are driving me crazy!
Q. Hello everyone, I'm really needing some help right now. I'm 20 years old and still have to tell my parents where I'm going who I'm going with what I'm doing and if they think I'm lying they will check up on me and ask my friends if I'm there. I...
A. 13 March 2016: EDIT:
That means you lie to you parents where you are.
Should of course have been:
That means you DON'T lie to you parents where you are.... (read in full...)
He's not hit me. But could the other things he does be called abuse? what should I do?
Q. To be blunt and simple, when my year long boyfriend and i argue, he pushes me around. He'll grab me and squeeze my face, throw me down, he'll push me in front of almost anyone.. All throughout the year, he's never hit me though. He will punch...
A. 13 March 2016: Of course it's abuse. Abuse is not "just" being hit and hitting someone.
My questions to you are these:
1. has the VIOLENCE towards you, the pulling hair, pushing you around, etc. escalated over that year you have dated?
IF so, then it ... (read in full...)
I did something stupid and now I wonder "what if"
Q. Hi so I'm 16 and part of me has wanted to have sex for the past year and a half maybe, but then the other part has reasoned with that part and is kind of scared. Yes I want to have sex (I'm still a virgin) but then when I hear about sex assault and ...
A. 13 March 2016: I want to PREFACE my answer with this.
EVEN if the guy you had gone home with HAD been a rapist - IT IS not your doing, nor your fault. Raping or NOT raping is a CHOICE. It's not about how you look, how you dress or what route you take home. Do... (read in full...)
I'm 20 years old and my overprotective parents are driving me crazy!
Q. Hello everyone, I'm really needing some help right now. I'm 20 years old and still have to tell my parents where I'm going who I'm going with what I'm doing and if they think I'm lying they will check up on me and ask my friends if I'm there. I...
A. 13 March 2016: I agree with the first anon poster.
IF you want to be treated like an adult - ACT like one. That means you lie to you parents where you are.
Consider something bad happened to either you or one of your parents and somebody needed to track ... (read in full...)
Did my partner overreact with this or should I have just of said nothing?
Q. My partner hasn't got much money due to working part time hours and having to pay bills so when my birthday came up, he never got me anything which I understood due to his situation but he didn't mention to me that he wasn't going to get me ...
A. 13 March 2016: While I think he was trying to show some sort of effort with the "home made" card - it also made you realize that YES, this is an financially uneven relationship.
So here is my thing, if you are OK with paying for stuff more than he does, then don... (read in full...)
Am I right to feel offended my friend has been ignoring me?
Q. I am so angry and very hurt with my so called "best friend". We have been friends 30+ years, since grade school. She is an intensely private person who hates phone calls, she NEVER calls, when she can be bothered to get back to me she texts. S...
A. 13 March 2016: I'd "demote" her to acquaintance, because she REALLY isn't being a friend and neither... are you.
She is making you feel things that, I BET YOU, she doesn't intend at all. And it makes you.. not polite at all. Which I don't think is your intentio... (read in full...)
He has a new girlfriend, so what does he want from me?
Q. Hello everyone. A little back story, my boyfriend and I have been broken up for about 4 months now. The break up was a lot harder on me than him because he is the one who broke up with me, and told me he didn't feel the same about me anymore. It was ...
A. 13 March 2016: My guess is he DOES feel bad for his actions (cheating, at least emotionally) and wants you to "forgive" him so he can stop feeling bad for two-timing you.
Him reaching out was NOT about you, it was about HIM.
Him wanting to be "friends" is NOT... (read in full...)
I can't decide if he deserves a second chance!
Q. I had been talking to this guy for 2 months. I met him on Tinder and he is 4 years older than me. I'm 19 and he is 23. Towards the end of the 2 months, for 3 weeks we talked all day and all night. There are multiple days where we fell asleep on the ...
A. 13 March 2016: Go with your gut and drop this guy.
MANY MANY guys use Tindr to troll for NSA, NOT looking for a serious relationship.
He even told you that in his long term relationship they BOTH were unfaithful, my guess is HE was without doubt - whether ... (read in full...)
What can I do to manage my own feelings? This relationship is pulling me down
Q. Dear everyone, I am in my first relationship with my partner for 2 years and 3 months now. During the first 12 months, everything seems so perfect and sweet and I was wonderfully showered with love and attention everyday. Eventually, the honeym...
A. 13 March 2016: I think it's pretty normal that the intensity slows down after a couple of years. Usually though it's replaced with other things, a shared history, intimacy and a more
thorough knowledge of their likes, dislikes and quirks.
And then you have som... (read in full...)
What support and advice can I give to my friend who has been trying to break up with her married lover? He does not want to let her go.
Q. so my best friend is involved with this married man. she is very naive and had just spent the last 3 years healing from a very bad emotional abusive relationship. she joined the military as an officer and at her first duty station, she was paired w...
A. 12 March 2016: Your friend needs to stop concerning herself as to WHY he is doing and MAKE it stop. SHE can stop it, IF she so chooses.
I think your friend is a tad naive if she thinks ANYTHING good can come from this.
When or IF the wife gets enough of t... (read in full...)
He seemed like a good guy. Now it's pretty much nothing. Why?
Q. I was dating this guy casually for a few months and he was really in to me. He would text me every day and ask to see me every couple of days. He'd talk to me constantly and then one weekend I was too busy to go to one of his parties and suddenly...
A. 12 March 2016: Did he perhaps meet another girl at the party you could not attend? And his silence is because he is either ashamed or he isn't sure whom to pick?
Personally, I'd back off a little bit , see if he picks up the "slack". If he doesn't you DO have ... (read in full...)
What support and advice can I give to my friend who has been trying to break up with her married lover? He does not want to let her go.
Q. so my best friend is involved with this married man. she is very naive and had just spent the last 3 years healing from a very bad emotional abusive relationship. she joined the military as an officer and at her first duty station, she was paired w...
A. 12 March 2016: EDIT:
He can TOTALLY much up her career if he takes this to their superiors. She should have known better. She knows about fraternization and the rules for officers. HIS WIFE can totally much up her career if she gets "proof" of the affair. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and my mom hate each other!! Are my Mom's expectations reasonable?
Q. I have a big big issue. My mom and boyfriend don't like each other at all. My mom thinks my bf is rude and doesn’t like her, and he thinks she's annoying, and rude. Yes it is true that my mom can be very annoying, at times but there isn’t real...
A. 12 March 2016: I think your mom needs to get a grip. His family do NOT have to invite HER to a brunch. YOU are the one dating their son. SHE is your mother.
And no I would NOT invite her as well. That is just weird.
Just because you and your BF are dating do... (read in full...)
What support and advice can I give to my friend who has been trying to break up with her married lover? He does not want to let her go.
Q. so my best friend is involved with this married man. she is very naive and had just spent the last 3 years healing from a very bad emotional abusive relationship. she joined the military as an officer and at her first duty station, she was paired w...
A. 12 March 2016: Since she is military and HIGHER rank than him, I'd suggest she looks into reassignment or a school to "get away" from him for a while, if not permanently.
Since they are in the same chain of command she can't block his number or stop talking ... (read in full...)
Please help me. I need advice. I feel like my professor dislikes me.
Q. A month ago, my History professor gave us an assignment and he showed us a really good example that we could no longer use. He dismissed class and stayed at his desk and my friend and I began to walk to another building on campus. Throughout...
A. 12 March 2016: Unless he ASKS you to get up and get out, don't leave the class. YOU are PAYING for him to TEACH you.
Was he miffed that he overheard a couple of students "bitch" about an assignment? Maybe, but my guess is.. HE has heard it ALL before.
And you... (read in full...)
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