Am I being paranoid or is my husband a cheater?
Q. I have been married for over 25 years, but am currently separated from my husband due to various issues. One of the issues is suspected cheating, which my husband denies. I just wanted to hear other peoples perspective on this, as my husbands...
A. 18 June 2016: OP,
It seems to me whether he is cheating or not is irrelevant, the marriage in no longer healthy nor sustainable.
Could he have been cheating? Sure. IS there concrete "evidence" in what you posted, that he cheated? Inconclusive I'd... (read in full...)
I told him white lie about my birthday, now what?
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for 6 months now. Things are great and we're in love. Only I feel so guilty about a little white lie I told him at the start of our relationship! He's 21 and when I met him I was 17, literally turning 18 in a month's ...
A. 17 June 2016: Good for you OP! And good job.
... (read in full...)
How can I get over the fear of never finding the "one"?
Q. How can I get over the fear of never finding the one? For the last 29 years (im turning 30) all I have focused on was finding a man. I've tried everything - I've lost weight - fixed my appearance- kept up with my degrees- but still I find myself i...
A. 17 June 2016: I think the answer is two-fold.
1. NEVER lower your standards, you should know by now that all you will get is disappointment and bad partners. Having a standard is PERFECTLY fine. JUST because a guy approaches YOU doesn't mean he is going to... (read in full...)
My married man was upset I broke up with him! Was I unreasonable?
Q. I have been involved with a married man for 10 years, I waited until his children were grown up so I could make demands in my lover leaning his wife, they are 17 and 19 so not kids anymore....I asked him last night for us to be a proper couple now, ...
A. 17 June 2016: To anon who asked:
"Isn't it very difficult for a man to walk out on his children? I mean, he could love his mistress but his love for his children is so much more deeper."
I think it IS. But if it was SO hard, how come the divorce rate is as h... (read in full...)
My partner doesn't think that my achievements are anything to be proud of
Q. Am I asking too much? I've just completed an intense access course at college after returning at 26, I've also gotten an offer from University and acquired the grades which means I'll begin my degree in September. Im so proud of myself goi...
A. 17 June 2016: He is an ass and he is intimidated by YOUR success, I think. He doesn't like to share the "attention" he HAS to be the "best" of the two of you... Which means he doesn't SEE you as his equal.
Congratulations, you KNOW you did some hard work to ... (read in full...)
Did my girlfriend cross a line here?
Q. Just looking for some advice, try and put all the info down. This is as I heard it, obviously I wasn't there: Here's the situation, gf went out on a night out in another country with a big group of colleagues and clients for dinner and drink...
A. 17 June 2016: You have to figure out what YOUR (personal) boundaries and standards are.
For me... the who doing drugs and getting SO drunk that you go "home" with someone else is a deal-breaker. Doesn't matter if they had sex or not. Drugs are a no-go for me. ... (read in full...)
Why is porn condemned by women?
Q. I am curious about this. It seems that to some women the worst sin a man can commit is looking at porn and I don't get it. They are just images on a screen of women he most likely will never meet or ever have a chance with. The chances of him a...
A. 17 June 2016: It's definitely not the "worst" sin a man can commit in a relationship, but for some it's unacceptable. They don't view porn themselves and don't see the "need" for it.
For some it's out of personal, political and ethical issues that they find it ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong or right to send flowers to a co worker you like?
Q. I have a question I wanted to ask and ive been debating it. If there is a co worker a male likes and he's into her. Let's say the special day was valentines day. Is it wrong or right to send flowers to a co worker you like? not that I'm intendi...
A. 17 June 2016: My main thing with this is romancing in the work place - it doesn't often turn out so great, it ends up being VERY awkward or it ends in someone feeling sexually harassed or pressured. Not great for a work environment.
BUT.... If you know 100% she... (read in full...)
My manager sent an angry text on my day off! How should I respond?
Q. My boss has sent me a shitty text message saying the following: "you have authorised 'john' to have this saturday off as holiday and not put anyone in at 8am, so as it stands, i cant enter the store. not your finest rota this week, needs impr...
A. 17 June 2016: Contacting you on your day off is not a great great issue if you ask me, but it's not entirely good mannered either - I'd call it... petty to be frank. Not uncommon at all though. Might also be why he texted and not called.
However, instead ... (read in full...)
My manager sent an angry text on my day off! How should I respond?
Q. My boss has sent me a shitty text message saying the following: "you have authorised 'john' to have this saturday off as holiday and not put anyone in at 8am, so as it stands, i cant enter the store. not your finest rota this week, needs impr...
A. 16 June 2016: I agree with Sage,
YOU suck it up. You apologize and MAKE things right. IF that means you have to go in for 1 hour Saturday (8 to 9) till whomever is on at 9 shows up.
His text wasn't angry per se, he was just annoyed that you screwed up. My g... (read in full...)
My married man was upset I broke up with him! Was I unreasonable?
Q. I have been involved with a married man for 10 years, I waited until his children were grown up so I could make demands in my lover leaning his wife, they are 17 and 19 so not kids anymore....I asked him last night for us to be a proper couple now, ...
A. 16 June 2016: Unreasonable?
I find that hard to say yes OR no to.
YOU chose to "date" a married man. You chose to give him 10 years of your life with nothing more than empty promises from him.
Now you chose to try an ultimatum and it failed, so you ST... (read in full...)
Is it wrong or right to send flowers to a co worker you like?
Q. I have a question I wanted to ask and ive been debating it. If there is a co worker a male likes and he's into her. Let's say the special day was valentines day. Is it wrong or right to send flowers to a co worker you like? not that I'm intendi...
A. 16 June 2016: My questions would be:
1. Is she single?
2. Is she interested in you?
If the answer is no to either, then no don't send flowers.
IF the answer is YES to both, then why not?
... (read in full...)
I'm stuck in a one sided relationship with a guy who tries to deliberately belittles me. Can someone please advise what to do?
Q. So heres my problem, Ive been in a relationship with my boyfriend since October (9 months) and have lived with him for 8 months. We are always together. For the last 6 months, I havent been happy in life or in our relationship. I keep trying t...
A. 16 June 2016: You do know that you have NO control over what he chooses to do, right? That staying with him won't guarantee he won't self-harm or harm you.
I would advice you leave. IF you fear he will hurt himself, then contact the police.
If you fear h... (read in full...)
Why is my friend telling me lies, when there is no need to do so?
Q. My question is , me and my ex grew apart and decided to be friends this has been a few month and we both moved on. He told me he plans on staying single i said yeah yeah and he replied saying its so much easier to stay single , i will admit he...
A. 15 June 2016: He doesn't want to share that part of his life with you? Maybe he feels like it's none of your beeswax, but it's easier to lie to you and say no I'm not looking, then hurt your feelings.
Or maybe he feel like he is a bit of a loser for being ba... (read in full...)
Should I tell my best friend this secret about her boyfriend?
Q. Hello aunt Advice needed!! I was catching up with an old high school friend, we were very close but we lost contact now in college were close again. We decided to go have a girls night, during the dinner she asked about my best friend and vice ...
A. 15 June 2016: Well, at least you showed your friend that you stand by her. If she rather date a cheater than be single.. that is her choice.
And if he IS still cheating eventually he will be found out.
... (read in full...)
My friend is trying to sabotage a budding relationship with a guy I like
Q. Not sure where to start but I guess some background information is a good way to go. Typical start to any of these questions but.. So there's this guy, and he's perfect. The problem doesn't lie with him, it lies with my friend. My friend, 3 y...
A. 15 June 2016: I agree with Cindy here.
She isn't 10 any more, she can't call dibs on a guy she drunkenly kissed 3 years ago. Nothing came of it. Are you to avoid all men she might possibly have kissed while drunk? That makes no sense, and honestly... she is b... (read in full...)
He says I bring out his silly side. Why is he behaving this way around me?
Q. My boyfriend and I laugh a lot together and share the same sense of humour. Yesterday he told me I bring out the silly side in him and that he is never this silly around anyone else. I am wondering if you think that's a good thing? Or not?...
A. 14 June 2016: I definitely think it's a good thing.
And it's even better if you two can also be serious around each other, trusting, caring, understanding and compromising...
... (read in full...)
Drunk boyfriend troubles. What to do?
Q. I accused my partner of lying the other night as he was coming back from a party and fell asleep on the bus. He then took a taxi from one town drove straight through the town that he was meant to meet me in and onto the next town. He told me this...
A. 14 June 2016: You BF is an abusive guy. End of story.
Throwing a hissy-fit because he didn't get his way and that you DARED to question his lame-ass story makes him seem like a 5 year old.
"His going out was his shining light of joy in the last few months ... (read in full...)
My Bf has developed an interest in larger size women. I don't know how to respond to him about this. What are my options?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 and a half years. We're very open with each other sexually and emotionally, however a couple of months ago I noticed he had striked an interest in larger women (ie following Instagram and Twitter accounts...
A. 14 June 2016: Seems like it's more than an interest here. He KNOWS this isn't something hat isn't OK in a relationship. Signing up for dating sites if you don't intend to date is the dumbest excuse I have ever heard. And personally, I'd be offended if my partner ... (read in full...)
Should I just move on? Seemed like a good first date. Yet haven't heard from him since last Friday.
Q. I met someone on a first date last Friday and I thought it went pretty well... He initiated chats all week although I stated I prefer meeting over chatting and he agreed to meet but continued to say good morning to me everyday online. We met fo...
A. 14 June 2016: I would reach out and see of it's him being a bit shy that has kept him from contacting you.. or maybe he think that "3 day rule" actually is a good thing.
If you reach out and try and chat and he doesn't respond, I'd chalk it up to him having m... (read in full...)
My mother complains she doesn't see her grandchildren, but she is always hungover!
Q. hi everyone hope someone can give me some good advice it is not relationship problems but a family problem my parents split up 8 years ago my mam now has a new boyfriend since she has got with him she doesn't bother with her grandchildren she has 6 ...
A. 14 June 2016: I think C. Grant and chi both bring up some good common sense. It's NOT the norm that someone goes out drinking 7 days a week, so there IS probably something else going on there.
And there is NO way that you OWE her to come around and listen t... (read in full...)
Please help! I need suggestions and how-to's for second date!
Q. Hi guys! I have had amazing help here before and looking to get great advice again! I went out on a first "mini" date with a girl last week. It went really well..we have a great connection. We ended seeing each other 2 nights in a row (night a...
A. 14 June 2016: I'd suggest you plan to NOT have sex on the next date. It's ONLY the 3rd one. BUT make sure you HAVE condoms (and that you bring them).
She obviously feel safe around you, as she is having you over - so I would follow her lead. If she is touchy f... (read in full...)
I feel betrayed and devastated that my husband is regularly visiting a brothel. What are my options to deal with my hurt?
Q. after 6 years of marriage I feel everything is falling apart! and I am completely devastated .. My husband is having an adultery, he is a regular brothel visitor. we got married after years of crazy deep love and commitment, now we are married for ...
A. 13 June 2016: Do you have access to the family finances? If so, it should be fairly easy to see if he either spends large amounts/little amount at ONE place often or if he takes out money and how much.
Personally, I would stop having sex with him and go get t... (read in full...)
I feel very confused by her. First she flirts with me. Then she didn't invite me to her birthday celebration. What's happening here?
Q. I am lusting after another female colleague. She is also bi-sexual. I've known her a year but only recently did we start getting to know each other better as she has moved into my office at work. We flirt a lot by teasing each other and play fig...
A. 13 June 2016: I would look elsewhere for a partner. Outside of work and someone else than her.
She obviously like to flirt, but not much more. Could be that she is leaning towards being asexual or just not REALLY interested in relationships.
Treat he as a... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is mean but I can’t seem to leave her!
Q. I'm in a same sex relationship, and we've been together for about 9 months. There's something about her that makes me crazy. I've never felt like this before (I can say that honestly). But for the most of our relationship, she's been incredibly ...
A. 13 June 2016: I think she is dealing with a type of jealousy called retroactive jealousy, if you look up one of our uncles's posts (he is called Yos and knows a LOT about it) you might recognize what's going on with her.
THIS is not something you can fix. You... (read in full...)
Am I being selfish? Should I persist and continue with this relationship?
Q. Hello, I have a lot going on in my life right now. I just got a new job that I love and my youngest just graduated from high school and is leaving the nest soon. I also started dating a new guy. He is very handsome, sweet and is in good shape. I like...
A. 12 June 2016: I agree with Janniepeg and nonny-female here.
I think you are giving and doing things you aren't quite "ready" for to PLEASE him in the hopes that he will stick around. His attitude towards females in general is ... well, a bit archaic? You shou... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my brother's ex wife. Family are try to discourage me over this. What should I do?
Q. I am a 42 year old man who was married to my for 10 years to my best friend. Seven years ago she died. We have 2 kids together and I've been single ever since. Recently I moved so the kids could be closer to family and I met a beautiful young ...
A. 12 June 2016: Why did they get divorced? And how does your brother feel about it? THOSE would be MY main concerns. Not what the rest of the family thinks.
I think you should have a conversation with your brother before getting in to deep with this woman.... (read in full...)
Do relationships that start as affairs go the distance, or do they fail?
Q. My dad left my mum (who his disabled with MS) for the 'other woman' - do these relationships that start as an affair (lies, deception) typically last? How can his new parter trust him? She must be insecure that if he can do it with her, he will DO ...
A. 12 June 2016: Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't. There are no guarantees either way, same for a marriage with two faithful people.
Can his new partner trust him? No. Can he trust his new partner, no. But that is for them to deal with.
I'm sorry you... (read in full...)
I like my ex-best friend's ex!
Q. There's this guy I like. Him and one of my best friends used to go out. He broke up with her because he said it wasn't going well for them in the last 6 months. He told me that during those last 6 months he had developed feelings for me. She cheated ...
A. 12 June 2016: I think it would be an overall bad choice. Bad choice in guy... bad choice in timing.
There are plenty of other guys out there. Picking through someone else's "trash" or "recycle" your own to find a BF. All you end up with is a guy you can't tr... (read in full...)
He wants to have sex on Skype! Do you think anything serious can come out of this?
Q. Hi, iam on a dating site, I received a message from man aged 53, he was saying how he liked my profile and would like to get to know me. I checked his profile it said looking for serious relationship leading to marriage, he also said that he likes ...
A. 12 June 2016: I agree with Auntie Bim Bim
Report his pervy butt to the dating site. The fact that he is trying to manipulate you into doing things you ARE not interested in is a HUGE HUGE red flag. An this happened 1 WEEK in? What a slime-ball!
I'd wish him ... (read in full...)
Should I just end the relationship as I broke her trust?
Q. Asking is it better to end a relationship if trust if broken??? I did not physically cheat but sexual videos btwn me and a girl got found and then she forgave me not only for me to get caught on a chatting site a few months later ..so she says...
A. 12 June 2016: I think it's better you end it and grow up. What you are doing is RARELY OK in a relationship, and you ought to be old enough to KNOW that. I'm sure you wouldn't be tickled pink if your GF was the one doing these things.
Overall though, your GF ... (read in full...)
Is another woman the cause?
Q. ok so my partner and i are have hit a really bad spot. He left my apartment in a mood with now reason a few days ago i don't even know why the night before we had a really great night and so much fun together then at 6am he was leaving saying he ...
A. 11 June 2016: Block him.
Let him "feel" the consequences of HIS actions. My guess is, he already had a girl lined up and that is why he started the argument, because it's a "great" reason to walk away. I don't think it was because he didn't know how to tell you... (read in full...)
How can I get Dad off the phone and talking to me?
Q. My Dad is always on his phone and doesn't listen to me. Whenever he picks up his phone I get really mad but I don't show it. He just makes one phone call after another, he is also always texting. When I have important information to tell him he is ...
A. 11 June 2016: Do you have a phone Laura?
If so... CALL HIM on it and talk... maybe he will realize you NEED to actually interact with him.
Or try and film him while you are trying to get his attention. Then later on show it to him. Tell him, Dad I miss TALKI... (read in full...)
Back dating and I need advice
Q. Hi there! I desperately need your help! I recently got divorced and I do not have much of dating/speed dating experience. I in now getting into this dating thing and have a first date today. I like this woman and she is few years older to me (I a...
A. 11 June 2016: Do's:
Talk about hobbies, things you enjoy, things you would like to try (non-sexual of course), movies, music, museums, travel, food, books.
Don'ts: DO NOT talk divorce in detail. DO NOT talk about exes, Avoid smack-talk about an ex or anyon... (read in full...)
Do I wait for the new guy to make up his mind? or go back to Mr Wrong?
Q. So, my (verbally abusive) boyfriend of 2 years and I finally called it off. A few months later, I reconnect with and re-fall for this brilliant, kind, handsome guy who I used to be *very friendly* with in high school. Happy ending? Nope! He decides ...
A. 11 June 2016: How about neither guy?
You ALREADY know that #1 is abusive and isn't BF material, so why on Earth settle for that? (again)
#2 Was a dud. While the IDEA of you two sounded great and the fantasy seemed great it wasn't. IT happens.
So n... (read in full...)
What were his true intentions? Did I do something wrong? Should I try to contact him again?
Q. I met a guy online who seemed pretty nice. He was very handsome, polite, and a complete gentleman. I didn't want to seem desperate so I would wait for him to contact me first, plus I was taught that if a man is interested, he should make the firs...
A. 11 June 2016: No more contacting him, honestly... You should BLOCK and then DELETE his number and BLOCK him on the dating site (or wherever you met him).
I agree with the other two answers... He wasn't looking for anything serious, at least not til AFTER he... (read in full...)
How can I break this cycle? My life revolves around finding someone
Q. My life revolves around finding someone how can I break this cycle ? I just had my heart broken by my ex he left me because he didn't want to invest the time in our relationship and I can't get over it. It was only six months and although I did e...
A. 11 June 2016: So you know the problem, now how to "fix" it.
I'd say it's hard, because you have (like most other people) conditioned yourself to believe that you NEED a partner to BE happy, to MAKE you happy. However, as NICE as it is to have a partner,... (read in full...)
Is the guy married or not? I think yes...
Q. My sister fell for a guy who turns out to be married and wanted nothing to do with him. He wore a wedding ring, posted photos of him and his wife on FB until a month and a half ago, which is when he really started to woo her. He lives in ano...
A. 10 June 2016: If he has an open marriage, she would be encouraged to me the wife and vice verse.
And your sister... might not want to be a side-chick.
Have you tried to look up the woman in question? Her Facebook? It might tell a different story than his. ... (read in full...)
Do women feel extra sexy during their periods?
Q. Is it true that when women are on their periods they are sexually high / their sex drive is high at this point? Like few days before the periods, on periods and just after the periods gets over. Does it happens that they dress in a way that they lo...
A. 10 June 2016: Like Auntie SVC mentions ovulation is the key, NOT menstruation. Ovulation is the time the egg is in "transit" and the time best suited for fertilization.
So PURELY speaking from the biological aspect, that IS the time the brain is telling ... (read in full...)
I want to break up, but what of the presents she gave me?
Q. If you are seeing some one for let's say four months, an you don't feel the same way, so you decide to break up with them, an the night before you do this they give you a few presents, do you keep the presents or give them back, an tell them it's ...
A. 10 June 2016: Can you link your previous post? Because it makes no sense if the question was the SAME just with a different gender.
Gender doesn't make a difference in manners, if you ask me.... (read in full...)
Do I let my ex's baby mama and child into my nursery?
Q. Hey I'm not sure what to write here but here it goes, I was with a guy for 6 years and got pregnant shortly after this he left me for a teenager and ignored me and his child I would text, got noting. I did every now again drop him a line to tell him ...
A. 10 June 2016: I agree with Myau
STOP contacting the guy with updates, he obviously doesn't care. And I don't think he deserves to get the updates or contact with your child. Yes, he fathered your child but he did nothing after that. I presume you don't get any ... (read in full...)
I want to break up, but what of the presents she gave me?
Q. If you are seeing some one for let's say four months, an you don't feel the same way, so you decide to break up with them, an the night before you do this they give you a few presents, do you keep the presents or give them back, an tell them it's ...
A. 9 June 2016: You definitely offer the presents back or DECLINE in receiving them.
If you already know that breaking up is where you are heading, you don't wait til the day AFTER she gives you a present.
If you keep them? Well, then I'd probably think t... (read in full...)
I'm stuck in a one sided relationship with a guy who tries to deliberately belittles me. Can someone please advise what to do?
Q. So heres my problem, Ive been in a relationship with my boyfriend since October (9 months) and have lived with him for 8 months. We are always together. For the last 6 months, I havent been happy in life or in our relationship. I keep trying t...
A. 9 June 2016: Do you have a place to go?
Are you on the lease? The utility bills?
If you HAVE a place to go (even if it's temporarily) and you are NOT on the lease and bills - pack your stuff when he is out partying and get out.
If you ARE on the lea... (read in full...)
Should I tell my best friend this secret about her boyfriend?
Q. Hello aunt Advice needed!! I was catching up with an old high school friend, we were very close but we lost contact now in college were close again. We decided to go have a girls night, during the dinner she asked about my best friend and vice ...
A. 28 May 2016: I would ask your best friend if you could ask her a hypothetical question.
If she says yes.
Then explain the situation from THE other girls view.
Say:" What would you do if some guy is hitting on you in social media and you find out that no... (read in full...)
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