I am lost and I need a plan of action. I need to leave this marriage, so what is my next move?
Q. I have finally decided I want a divorce. It is not a decision I have taken lightly. I have struggled with it for so long hoping that we can somehow make things better. My husband is not a bad man, but he is emotionally damaged (I know why and I kn...
A. 16 May 2016: Don't worry about what others will think, they don't live in your marriage. And you might be surprised how much they see that you think they don't.
And yes, family photos are definitely in the "heirloom" area. A copy/original of birth certific... (read in full...)
Was I wrong to report him for his inappropriate behaviour?
Q. I work in a male dominated industry. There are a number of subcontractors we work with on a regular basis. Last week one of our subcontractors sent a couple of guys out to work on a project. I'm familiar with them all as they come several times a ...
A. 16 May 2016: I'm fully with Cindy.
I think you need to learn to set boundaries. There was no reason to "indulge" him in a hug in the first place.
I would have told him off right away, actually I would have told him no thanks on the hugs - but since the hu... (read in full...)
I am lost and I need a plan of action. I need to leave this marriage, so what is my next move?
Q. I have finally decided I want a divorce. It is not a decision I have taken lightly. I have struggled with it for so long hoping that we can somehow make things better. My husband is not a bad man, but he is emotionally damaged (I know why and I kn...
A. 16 May 2016: I'm sorry that you are in this position.
Unfortunately it's not uncommon that women marry versions of their own dad's (good or bad) and don't even realize it till much later. So as far as that part? Don't beat yourself up.
As for what to do n... (read in full...)
Met this guy and he has a Gf. What should I do? I am yet to tell me that I'm divorcing my husband.
Q. My husband I have agreed to divorce. We still live together because it's convenient but we treat each other as roommates and I will probably stay at our house for at least next three months. About two months ago I met a guy through mutual friends....
A. 16 May 2016: Focus on sorting yourself out first. Sorry, but you are in NO place to date anyone. Your life is a mess.
Move out, finalize the divorce, TAKE some time being JUST you and working through WHY the marriage failed. THEN.... you can date.
Don't i... (read in full...)
Help ! I need help to learn how to let go of all this hate I feel for this woman who so belittled me and hurt me so much.
Q. Hi everyone. I posted on here September 2014 time- about my cheating boyfriend of 5 years. Well I decided to give things another chance and it's the best decision I ever made. Whilst I don't mean this literally, him cheating was one ...
A. 16 May 2016: No matter how much you hate her, you can't change the past, NOR can you change HER or her behavior.
Your hate ONLY hurts one person, YOU.
While I understand 100% why you hate her, those emotions is wasted on such a sick individual. She ... (read in full...)
Have I saved myself a lot of grief between him and me? What is going on in this relationship?
Q. So long story short I started seeing this guy in September I wasn't used to gay/bi relationships then so was abit deflective. He ended up starting to see someone but he told me was casual we kept speaking and seeing one another but I got suspicious ...
A. 15 May 2016: Just cut him off already.
You know even if he DID drop the other guy for you, that he would find someone else on the side. He had been perfectly happy cheating on the dude with you and on you with the dude.
Block his number/block him els... (read in full...)
I still have feelings for him, but don't feel we have a future together. What should I do?
Q. Hi Cupid, I was in love with a man who divorced 3 years ago. We had known each other for more than 2 years at school. Before our relationship started, by reading comments on his social media accounts, i already suspected that he had a number of ...
A. 15 May 2016: I think you already know where you stand with this guy. He likes you, but NOT in a "I want to BE with you" kind of way.
He likes having many girls around him, including you. NOT because he likes all these girls, but because THEY make HIM feel goo... (read in full...)
Who do I choose? My best friend or my crush?
Q. there is a boy in my class and i really and i really like him but i know my friend does too. i know if i try telling him i love him then my friend will get mad at me and fall out with me. who do i choose my best freind or the boy i love...
A. 15 May 2016: Here is the thing about crushes... They are VERY often one-sided. So while YOU may have a crush on this guy, there is no guarantee that he feels the same way. Just like there is no guarantee that he likes your friend.
So DO yourself a favor an... (read in full...)
Why do intense passionate affairs always come to an end?
Q. I'm a married woman whos been having an affair with a single man for about two years now...I know its wrong, but he's so good looking, interesting, kind, and really seems to care about what I have to say...And the sex is Amazing.....my best friend ...
A. 14 May 2016: I presume because it comes down to the two people HAVING the affair.
What works for one couple may not work for the next. But passion can't sustain a relationship, it's just not logical. Most people need a "little" more than just good sex.... (read in full...)
Why am I selfish because I want romance but no sex?
Q. I think I am asexual. Now I had sex before and I didn't like it. But that's the problem, I hear "you did it before so you must've liked it" and "you just weren't w the right person" no. I just really hate sex and oral. But I like dating and romance. ...
A. 14 May 2016: I agree with Cindy.
Best thing you can do, is find another asexual person. Someone who FEELS the same, and WANT the same.
You ask "Why does even the lgbtq community hate me and say I'm selfish? "
It's not the entire LGBT community that "hat... (read in full...)
What does it mean when a man plays with his wedding ring while he talks to you?
Q. Hi Aunties! Just wondering if it means anything if a man slides his wedding ring up and down his finger while he talks to you and twists it? It is so distracting!! ...
A. 14 May 2016: OP,
With your update. it's possibly just a calming habit that he is not aware off.... (read in full...)
Why do intense passionate affairs always come to an end?
Q. I'm a married woman whos been having an affair with a single man for about two years now...I know its wrong, but he's so good looking, interesting, kind, and really seems to care about what I have to say...And the sex is Amazing.....my best friend ...
A. 14 May 2016: I think it's simply because people can't maintain that level of intensity. It's not sustainable. That is also WHY people get "bored" with relationships and marriages, because they don't realize that those things TAKE work.
After a while even the... (read in full...)
Am I in the wrong for being jealous of his best female friend?
Q. I have been with this guy for a little over 1 year. We literally fight every day over the same shit. He has a friend thats a girl that he calls sis that he supposedly has known for 20 years, and she has tried to break him and I up and so I told him ...
A. 14 May 2016: That is not a brother/sister "friendship" they have. While they might have some friendship that SO far hasn't involved sex, the banter IS sexual in nature. And AS much from your BF's side as hers.
DUMP him. He isn't going to let go of his friend f... (read in full...)
How do I turn down men who want my number?
Q. This happens all the time. I talk to a man on the bus, in class or in a checkout line or wherever and they want my number. So then I have to awkwardly turn him down bc I have a boyfriend or if I don't, I have to make one up. Even more awkward is ...
A. 14 May 2016: Personally, I'd just say:" no, I don't give out my number as a rule, thanks for the offer". If they get mad, ignore it. You can also add: "it was nice talking to you but it WAS just a conversation." YOU do NOT owe a guy your phone number for have ... (read in full...)
What does it mean when a man plays with his wedding ring while he talks to you?
Q. Hi Aunties! Just wondering if it means anything if a man slides his wedding ring up and down his finger while he talks to you and twists it? It is so distracting!! ...
A. 14 May 2016: I agree with WiseOwlE
For some it can also be a habit, like biting his nails, drumming his fingers.
It more than likely not something he is fully aware of.... (read in full...)
I'm at a loss how to handle this unfair and uncomfortable accusation!
Q. I've had a really bizarre situation and would like some advice and on how I can handle the situation from now. Yesterday there was a knock on my door my boyfriend answered and it was the police He came upstairs and told me they said there has been...
A. 12 May 2016: I'd go talk to them, just to reassure that you were totally unaware they thought you were filming, that you talked to the police and there is no basis for their fears.
Personally, I think they should have come talk to you before calling the Poli... (read in full...)
Am I crazy? Is something amiss in the way he behaves with his daughter? What should I do?
Q. I recently broke up with a man I'd been seeing on and off for the last five years. I have always been attracted to problematic people, and this guy is no exception - he is bankrupt, alcoholic, cheated on me over and over and over, and admits openly ...
A. 12 May 2016: What you have seen of his behavior towards her, might have been him holding back knowing you were there and honestly what you describe seems on the "that freaking weird way to parent" and if I was the mother... I'd never let him see her again.
... (read in full...)
Does every relationship become boring like this?
Q. Does every relationship get so boring that there is no excitement anymore and it feels like you are just friends? When I was first with my boyfriend I wouldn't say I was infatuated or obsessed but I liked him a lot. That lasted for about a year but...
A. 12 May 2016: After only a year? I would not say that is the "norm", but each relationship is different.
What exactly is it that's boring? Is it that you two don't do things together, just sit and play on your phones in each other's company? Or is it that you... (read in full...)
What’s the best response to a break up message?
Q. If you are in a long term, committed relationship with a man, and he decides to break up with you [either because he's found someone else, or has just tired of you, or whatever his reason], in your experience, what is the best way for the woman to ...
A. 11 May 2016: I agree with Auntie honesty.
There isn't a "generic" response that will receive the biggest impression.
I think there is a response of each person and situation.
If one person is DONE with a relationship, they have mostly detached themselv... (read in full...)
Am I over-reacting? Is this girl trying to cause trouble?
Q. Hi my boyfriend and I are both in our 30's. We have been together a few years. There is one particular woman I have been having an issue with for a couple of years. I don't know their relationship, I suspect he cheated on me with her though he ...
A. 11 May 2016: She is a drama-llama and I don't think you are overreacting.. I think however, you anger is misplaced.
SHE wouldn't be doing all this if he hadn't encouraged her to start with. And I DO think he is enjoying the attention.
My advice? WHY even... (read in full...)
Is it because I'm telling the truth? My controlling husband does not like what I've been saying?
Q. my husband who is very controlling turned me against members of my family because he obviously is jealous, now that I have got in touch with these people again after 3 years of not speaking. My husband does not like it but I am much stronger now...
A. 11 May 2016: OK so after your update it's LOT more clear why you doubting your husband, and I have to agree with WCA...
WHY are you with this man? Why pick a man over your own son?
I'd be out of there in a heartbeat. You family has done nothing yet you ... (read in full...)
I should go at all?
Q. So I really liked this guy, who at first liked me too, but who now has feelings for my best friend instead. My best friend isn't into him in that way because she has someone she already really likes but on my end it still kind of hurts and is weird...
A. 11 May 2016: I agree with Auntie BimBim
No need to go.
So what if HE wants HER there? She doesn't really want to go and you don't really want to go. So what's the point?
Sometimes it happens that you fall for someone who in turn falls for someone else, ... (read in full...)
Is it because I'm telling the truth? My controlling husband does not like what I've been saying?
Q. my husband who is very controlling turned me against members of my family because he obviously is jealous, now that I have got in touch with these people again after 3 years of not speaking. My husband does not like it but I am much stronger now...
A. 11 May 2016: So if your family is fine, what was the 3 years of no contact over?... (read in full...)
What age is too old to have a baby? 40? 41? 42? Or beyond?
Q. Is 40 (me) and 43 (my husband) too old to have a baby? We both have kids from previous relationships but I would really love for us to have a child together. He has hinted that he thinks we're too old. I don't. We have talked briefly about it at the ...
A. 11 May 2016: No way of knowing. It is different for every woman. Look at Italy, they have some of the "oldest" moms in Europe and they seem to do JUST fine, however... Italians also (in general) have a HUGE safety net in friends and family, if not the whole ... (read in full...)
Is my nudity, inside my own home, in front of my 44 year old stepdaughter, OK or not?
Q. My wife and I are in our late 60's - just average people except that we like to be nude at home when it is warm enough. Now my 44 year old step daughter is living with us and strongly objects to me being naked even though it is my house. Her mo...
A. 10 May 2016: I don't think it's appropriate. But... it is your house if she doesn't LIKE to see your saggy nuts the daughter can move out and take care of herself.. after all she is 44, not 4.... (read in full...)
Am I being reasonable or unreasonable? Needy or too needy?
Q. Am I being too needy? I just want to know if I'm being unreasonable. My boyfriend is a great guy and always makes time for his work, hobbies, friends, parents, siblings and one or twice a week me. However my precence, to him, counts as quality time ...
A. 10 May 2016: I think you should take a gander at the "5 languages of love" (there is a test you and your BF can take)
http://365tests.com/personality-tests/what-is-your-love-language/
And you might be surprised to find that you BOTH have no clue as to who t... (read in full...)
Is it because I'm telling the truth? My controlling husband does not like what I've been saying?
Q. my husband who is very controlling turned me against members of my family because he obviously is jealous, now that I have got in touch with these people again after 3 years of not speaking. My husband does not like it but I am much stronger now...
A. 10 May 2016: Is it because I'm telling the truth?
Not necessarily.
If you husband PRIOR to you cutting your family off watches them treat you in a disrespectful, cruel, rude, toxic or mean manner - maybe he knows they they haven't changed in those 3 years... (read in full...)
Should I tell her I slept with our friend?
Q. Hello my aunts! Im back again. You guys gave me great advice about how to handle my bad situation with my not so faithfull wife. I followed it and it worked out. The only downside is she kicked me out. which means less time with my babies before I ...
A. 10 May 2016: I think you should feel a little bit guilty. You aren't "legally separated" nor divorced so you are technically cheating. You can "fu@k" your way out of a marriage.
Now, I can see why it was tempting to want to feel wanted, to feel desired ... (read in full...)
Not sure if this is a crush?
Q. Hi, so I've recently become sort of friends with this guy in one of my college classes. We make each other laugh and he's just a great guy to talk to and be around. I'm having feelings and I don't know what kind of feelings they are. Either I...
A. 10 May 2016: For now, since you are unsure, why not JUST settle for having a male friend who's company you enjoy?... (read in full...)
My Landlord's Children Are Rude To Me - How To Deal With This?
Q. I've been living as a lodger for the past couple of months. I knew the landlord prior to moving in as I rented from him before. It's a good place but two of his kids (who are about 10 I think) are very rude to me and I can continually loud...
A. 10 May 2016: I would look for another place to live, another room-mate/bedsit choice. Talk to your landlord and see if he has something else, since you know him. If he asks why, explain that you feel unwelcome.
Kids are kids. Thought 10 year old should k... (read in full...)
He can't break her hold
Q. Why can't a married man give up his long term mistress? Even when he has tried more than once to stop the affair due to guilt and fear of being caught? Why can he NOT let her go? Despite so many attempts? His mistress has told him she does n...
A. 10 May 2016: I have to agree with SVC
He CAN break away, he CHOOSES not to. She has no magical hold over him. HE is just wanting to have his cake (you) and eat it too (her).
You are in your 20's. You can EASILY find someone else, someone who isn't cheati... (read in full...)
Is this liason weird?
Q. I'm 25 and he's 30. We've been dating 5 weeks and are exclusive. I posted earlier about him inviting me to LA with him on business trip (in a month). We plan to go sightseeing together for a few days. Our connection is amazing and we talk about ...
A. 10 May 2016: I get the whole "fantasy" aspect of your "relationship" so far. Everything SHOULD feel amazing, but I think you lack a little common sense and self-preservation here.
I'm not saying he runs a human trafficking ring or is going to rape you in L... (read in full...)
Are all European women this agressive? How about men?
Q. My wife and I move around a lot because of my work. We have been together for 18 years (married for 15). We both wear rings. And please understand that I am not writing this to brag, I have never been chased by ladies, I would really appreciate some ...
A. 10 May 2016: Does your company have an HR department? If so go talk to them and ask how you best nip this in the bud.
And whether you are a guy or a girl, unwanted advances are never pleasant. Maybe you need to spell it out EVERY time? At least till they sto... (read in full...)
Would our guests from Scandinavia be horrified to see ants in our home?
Q. We live in the USA and are not really into using poisons. Thus we have a fair number of ants in our house. Mainly the tiny little ones that don't bite or anything LOL Anyway, we have some houseguests coming to visit from Europe (Scandinavia). D...
A. 10 May 2016: Hehe
I think it depends. Where are the ants? Kitchen? Big no-no. Bedroom no-no as well... Have you tried cinnamon? It worked really well on fire-ants and normal ants too. And it's not harmful to the environment and ... smells good (once the ants... (read in full...)
Is it him that’s off? I think how I’ve acted and the messages I’ve sent are fine!
Q. Hello, I've been single for just over a year. I have been online dating. I met a guy and he was very keen 2 dates in he was saying if we get married would you take my second name? And my daughter would be happy here at the weekends with us. He's...
A. 10 May 2016: You got a "bottle rocket dater" - someone who zooms out with big words, promises and fantasy castle, only to burn up quickly too.
I'm sorry, I think you should look elsewhere.
I think it's a HUGE red flag to talk marriage after 2 dates. S... (read in full...)
Are all European women this agressive? How about men?
Q. My wife and I move around a lot because of my work. We have been together for 18 years (married for 15). We both wear rings. And please understand that I am not writing this to brag, I have never been chased by ladies, I would really appreciate some ...
A. 9 May 2016: I think that France is VERY liberal when it comes to, extra marital affairs etc. In many countries being a mistress is looked down upon (as a lack of moral character) where as in France? Not so much.
It might also be that you have a LOVELY a... (read in full...)
What if my ex tells people what we did?
Q. Hi there, I'm just wondering about my ex. He fingered me when we were together and I gave him a wank. I'm scared he's gonna tell people I know and I'm scared if my friends find out that they will break our friendship and I end up with no friends. ...
A. 9 May 2016: Should you deny it? No, that would be lying.
The thing you REALLY need to realize is that IF you can't OWN your own actions (that is doing sexual acts with a boy) then you aren't old enough or mature enough for sexual activity.
And secondly,... (read in full...)
I put my foot in it! What do I do?
Q. I work in a condominium and have gotten the chance to know a lot of really lovely people. One of them is a lady "Mary" who has the absolute cutest baby daughter. She showed a mommy's day video made for her by her partner and I stupidly asked "Did ...
A. 9 May 2016: Let it go.
You made a presumption (and a fairly NORMAL one) and you were wrong. Why she got so upset is honestly a little beyond me. To presume it was her husband not her wife/SO isn't disrespectful, rude, crude, cruel or mean. Most people w... (read in full...)
Has my boyfriend overstepped the mark?
Q. Hello, I'd like to seek your opinions on the following scenario: My boyfriend and I were attending a wedding banquet and seated at a table with people we recently met. I'd like to highlight two girls in that table: Susan and her older sister A...
A. 9 May 2016: He would be an ex-bf in a heartbeat if that was me. Rude, obnoxious, lame and then... blaming HIS behavior on you.. Yeah, he would be out with the trash.
Sorry, I think your BF showed a side of him he had previously hid from you. But THIS is who h... (read in full...)
Is he faking his love for me?
Q. I've been talking to this guy for 3 months now, he had always been a very nice guy and treats me with respect. He spends hours talking to me non stop. He always flirt with me and always opens up to me and shows me how deep and how sensitiv...
A. 9 May 2016: I would be very wary if this guy is so "hated" by your brother. Unless your brother is a drama-llama who often says he "hates" this or that guy.
You say you "have been talking" for 3 months, but you don't mention going out on dates or even mee... (read in full...)
Should I choose a University in London to give our relationship a chance?
Q. I really love this guy, we haven't gotten into a serious long term relationship yet but he continues to tell me he loves me and wants me in his life for a very long time however we have never directly talked about marriage as it is too soon and i ...
A. 9 May 2016: I say you choose a Uni that works for what YOU want to do in life, career wise.
While you might have a lot of options in London, it might also be a lot more costly. (since you will have to pay for room and board as well as books and other expenses... (read in full...)
Does he sound insecure? Should I have given him more reassurance?
Q. I met a guy of 45 three months ago. We went out on a few dates and by the 3rd date he was all over me, wanted to be more than friends. We began properly dating. He sent me a rose, and told me a month in that I had his heart. He said he couldn't...
A. 9 May 2016: He does sound insecure to me. Missing ONE "goodnight text" shouldn't cause THAT much drama.
I think he is what I'll call a "bottle rocket dater" someone who zooms into a relationship with promises of long term relationship, with declarat... (read in full...)
Has my boyfriend overstepped the mark?
Q. Hello, I'd like to seek your opinions on the following scenario: My boyfriend and I were attending a wedding banquet and seated at a table with people we recently met. I'd like to highlight two girls in that table: Susan and her older sister A...
A. 9 May 2016: I think your BF was definitely flirting and rude all at the same time. Who tells a woman that she can't be sister to another woman because she isn't as pretty? WTF? Being friendly, polite and cheerful at a weeding, I get that... but he acted a tad ... (read in full...)
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