Should I tell my best friend this secret about her boyfriend?
Q. Hello aunt Advice needed!! I was catching up with an old high school friend, we were very close but we lost contact now in college were close again. We decided to go have a girls night, during the dinner she asked about my best friend and vice ...
A. 15 June 2016: Well, at least you showed your friend that you stand by her. If she rather date a cheater than be single.. that is her choice.
And if he IS still cheating eventually he will be found out.
... (read in full...)
Age differences? Is this even worth continuing?
Q. I met an amazing woman the other day. I've already gone out with her a couple of times and we've even had sex. The only thing is that she's 35 and I'm 22. She also has a 12 year old boy. I've tried to talk myself out of this a million times, b...
A. 28 May 2016: I agree with Aidan.
You need to figure out WHY you keep trying to talk yourself out of it. Is it because she has a kid? Because she'd (naturally) be more "demanding" and "expecting" more commitment and maturity from you, than your previous... (read in full...)
Dating problems. Where does one find the nice, genuine, yet good looking guys out there?
Q. It seems that every descent looking guy I come across ends up being a total a^^^ole! They turn out to be liars and cheaters and users and abusers and honestly I'm sick of it. They think that just because they are good looking they can step al...
A. 28 May 2016: Is there such a thing as a very good combination of looks and personality?
Of course there is. Good looks doesn't always = douche-bag. If it did, life would be so much easier, don't you agree? Because one glance would tell you... good looking ... (read in full...)
Should I give my husband one more chance even though I have so many times before?
Q. So I am finally ready to be done with my marriage, I know it may not be the "right" thing to do. I have tried for years to get my husband to communicate with me and try, even after he has failed to be there for me, failed to follow through, failed ...
A. 28 May 2016: I think you NEED to leave.
From your post it seems like your BF is all words, no action. He will make promise after promise (words) but not keep them (action). And in the long term, THAT leads people to LOSE trust and respect for him.
My husb... (read in full...)
Should I tell my best friend this secret about her boyfriend?
Q. Hello aunt Advice needed!! I was catching up with an old high school friend, we were very close but we lost contact now in college were close again. We decided to go have a girls night, during the dinner she asked about my best friend and vice ...
A. 28 May 2016: I would ask your best friend if you could ask her a hypothetical question.
If she says yes.
Then explain the situation from THE other girls view.
Say:" What would you do if some guy is hitting on you in social media and you find out that no... (read in full...)
I'm angry that my boyfriend is phasing me out
Q. Feeling angry as i am being phased out, boyfriend holidays alone and doesnt even consider taking a cheaper holiday with me. I know nothing lasts forever but i feel my loyalty is less than regarded. He'll even side with assistants in shop against ...
A. 28 May 2016: So why not break up? Why let his disinterest turn you into some "psycho" chick? If that is not who you are or WANT to be?
No one is MAKING you stay with him.
And if you say, Oh but I love him!! then you really need to re-think your concept of ... (read in full...)
Do I take a chance on my friend who is being flaky or just move on?
Q. Me and my friend decided to be more than friends , yesterday i got some plans mixed up and messaged him saying i couldnt meet friday he didnt see the message straight away but 2 mins later i told him it was ok to still see each other and he saw id ...
A. 27 May 2016: I wouldn't call him a flake and I wouldn't call you a flake either. (after all YOU cancelled, he didn't).
I would say you are overreacting a little bit here.
You cancelled and he them went STRAIGHT to plan B which was fishing with friends. My... (read in full...)
Should I hand my co-worker a note saying that I like him and would like to get to know him better?
Q. I like one of my co-workers.We work in completely unrelated departments.(we don't have work-related contact) However, we seem to run into each other walking in and out of conference rooms, hallways ,elavotors and staff rooms. He now always make it a ...
A. 27 May 2016: Let's for a minute think this over.
You BARELY know the guy. You are attracted to what you see. From the little interaction you have had only one thing is clear. He is a social and friendly person. Maybe he say hi how are yo to ALL the ladies o... (read in full...)
My husband made a joke about me taking our mutual friend's virginity for his birthday. Should I?
Q. Hi everyone. Me and my husband are both in our early 30's and have been married for 10 years. We have a mutual friend who is about the same age as us both and is still a virgin. Recently my husband made a joke about me taking his virginity for hi...
A. 27 May 2016: I agree with Garbo.
I would not risk a good solid 10 years marriage for a "pity fuck" to help some friend "lose" his virginity.
While it might sounds like it's not a big deal, you will only do this once and then the friend is "freed" of his b... (read in full...)
Is this cheating type behavior? Or am I just being paranoid?
Q. As much as I love my boyfriend, I've been very unhappy and paranoid lately. I hate to jump to conclusions and sound crazy but I have a gut feeling my boyfriend is cheating, or at the very least spending time and talking to another girl. Th...
A. 27 May 2016: Is he cheating? Impossible to say.
Are you a priority to him? No, not at all.
Does he take you for granted? Yes, v
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I think what YOU need to do, is get back to ALL the activities you did before meeting him, hanging out with fr... (read in full...)
At what age, of a particular person who has never dated, are others likely to form an opinion that the particular person is gay?
Q. I've heard a lot of people say that people close to you often guess your sexuality before you actually come out. That has got me wondering. I'm 26, I have never dated, don't talk about who I'm attracted to and have never so much as held someone'...
A. 27 May 2016: Whether others *thinks* they know someone is gay is irrelevant. It's YOUR life and YOUR sexual orientation. To discover and to accept.
My best friend growing up (male) is gay. By the age of maybe 12-13 there was no doubt. No one really spoke ab... (read in full...)
The age issue bothers me. How do I learn to accept what my sister has done?
Q. Hello, My sister is 32 with a 9 year old child. Until recently, she was with a man, W, for a majority of her child's life. He is not the real father, but my nephew believes him to be. W has stepped up and taken care of both of them. He has pro...
A. 27 May 2016: It's your sister's life and HER mistake to make (or not make). I would if you have some alone time with her, tell her to have a good heart to heart with her son.
Other then that... I'd stay out of it.
I get that you you feel W is "better" for ... (read in full...)
Should I stop cooking for my Bf after what he did? Any suggestions on how to get him to appreciate me more?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years now, living together for 1 year. He can be super sweet, loyal and sensitive and we have a lot in common... but sometimes he can just 'lose it.' Though he would never be violent he has lost his temper over ...
A. 27 May 2016: I'm sorry, JUST because he doesn't HIT you... what he is doing IS abusive behavior. Like punching the walls? ONE of these days he will have "MEANT" to punch to throw an object and YOU got in the way.
And yes, I would stop cooking for him permanen... (read in full...)
My sister is 3 years older than me and she bullies me. How can I distance myself from her?
Q. i am from india and i almost 21 years old, i have a sister who is 3 years elder, till before 7-8 months, we were very close like super close as far as i remember we did everything together only like parties, going out and shopping n all stuff. ...
A. 26 May 2016: So what happened 8 months ago to change your sister so radically?
No one goes from being great friends to hating each other over night, with out something happening to induce that change. And for your mom to "join" in makes no sense, if nothing ... (read in full...)
I need help with my daughter in law and her toxic mother
Q. I am looking for advice is dealing with a situation regarding my son's partner and her mother. background and my son got involved with his partner at 17, something I wasn't happy about as she is older and had two children from a previous relatio...
A. 25 May 2016: Urgh! I can't begin to imagine how HARD to must have been to bite your tongue for so long!
First off, though... it's Facebook. If they don't want you on theirs it's within their right. Being upset about will not help you, and obviously only cre... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is touchy feely with other girls.
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 months. The problem is that he's extremely touchy and always tickles and teases other girls, even in front of me. I talked to him about it but it seems that it's pointless. I've never told him not to hang out with ...
A. 25 May 2016: I think he is being a bit immature (which honestly is to be expected at your age - no offense). I think that he KEEPS doing it even after you told him that you don't like it, because 1. he doesn't like being told what to do, and 2. he think it makes ... (read in full...)
Am I truly being selfish? What can I do?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm very upset and I'm sorry this is long. I feel like I'm selfish and I don't know what to do. My mom isn't in the best of health but is pushing through. Now, my brother texts me and says my mom is really hurt cause she feels as ...
A. 25 May 2016: Sounds like they (your mom/stepdad) are using emotional blackmail to get you to stay. My guess? they want that extra income.
Now who is selfish here, you said?
Move on with your life. IT IS OK to want to be an independent women living with your... (read in full...)
Why do people want strippers at celebration parties just before they marry?
Q. Hi this is a weird question because its a hypothetical. I think its very strange that before two people get married they are encouraged to have strippers at their bachelor/ bachelorette parties. I've never been to a strip club even though it w...
A. 25 May 2016: I don't get it either. But I can guess.
IT's all about getting the last little bit of "naughty" in before matrimony. Some people think that "fun" and "naughty" things are over and done with as soon as you say:" I do." Personally, I think it's a b... (read in full...)
Would it be appropriate, and not creepy, to send him a thank you message?
Q. This is the first time Im asking something like this... I recently had a conversation with customers support over the phone, and the man who took my call was so nice and helpful, and he sent me an e-mail afterwards with further information about my ...
A. 25 May 2016: I agree, you do NOT send a thank you through Facebook, just because you got his e-mail details. NOT appropriate.
If you MUST send a Thank You, send it though the SAME e-mail HE used to send you further details.... (read in full...)
I don't mind paying but resent being asked to
Q. Dear Cupid: I was on an on-line dating site. A man sent me messages saying he would like to meet me. We met at a place he picked, I told him I was good with just a drink (no food). I had one beer (it was happy hour), he picked up the tab which wa...
A. 25 May 2016: He told you that you OWE him a dinner? That is horrible wording! Because in fact you DO NOT owe him SQUAT! But IF, he is a guy you find interesting and want to SEE again (aside for this whole paying the bill conundrum) then DO set up the date & pay, ... (read in full...)
I asked her about meeting up but she's gone cold. How can I become friends with her?
Q. I became friends with this girl I liked at work and also on social media right away. We get on well with each other and she always finds the time to talk to me. The only problem I have is. That I worry I say the wrong things to her and can't re...
A. 24 May 2016: Does she perhaps have a BF? OR maybe her going "cold" is more her trying to not take it further than a work-friend thing.
And if you say thing and later on can't remember, then maybe... you need to always stick to the truth? At least with the trut... (read in full...)
He said I was 'the one' but I found out he has a girlfriend
Q. my ex and I have been having a fling for a couple years, I had hopes and though it would lead us back together. he would say I love you but I don't want to settle just yet but when I do your the one. I always had the impression we were very clo...
A. 24 May 2016: You were the "fall back" girl. Not The One. He knew telling you the latter would string you along long enough for him to find your "replacement".
And I will bet you, if SHE doesn't work out he will contact you and give you the same old BS, whil... (read in full...)
I don't mind paying but resent being asked to
Q. Dear Cupid: I was on an on-line dating site. A man sent me messages saying he would like to meet me. We met at a place he picked, I told him I was good with just a drink (no food). I had one beer (it was happy hour), he picked up the tab which wa...
A. 24 May 2016: I agree with Janniepeg, he COULD have meant next outing is YOURS to plan.
You get to pick the spot etc. So, if you don't want to spend a lot it makes it easy IF you are the one planning.
Are you willing to "invest" in this guy? By planning and ... (read in full...)
Was I wrong to voice concern about messages from his ex?
Q. My boyfriend's ex lives in a different state and, until recently, didn't know he was in a relationship. Long story short, I finally told him that some of the replies she leaves on his FB (things such as winky faces, invites) are inappropriate. H...
A. 24 May 2016: Were you wrong to tell him it bothered you? No.
He is dating you and SHOULD be concerned with how you feel. Does it mean he CAN'T talk to exes? No. He can as long as it done with YOU in mind.
Now your BF didn't REALLY do anything wrong p... (read in full...)
He wont talk to me after a fight.
Q. I've been talking with this guy for months now, but lately I'm juSt having difficulty dealing with him. He was really caring, and acts nice and always tries to keep the conversation going. We had a fight a 2 weeks ago, and I hurt him with my ...
A. 23 May 2016: Who knows for sure if he will talk to you again?
My guess is, he will talk to you again. WHEN he wants something from you. Be that attention, affection, drama or to make you feel bad.
I honestly would just let him go. In your mind wish him we... (read in full...)
My husband's like a child
Q. Hi, hoping for advice on how to get my husband to become more mature? Handle more adult tasks? I feel like I'm his mother more than anything and I hate having to remind him or "nag" him. I was living in my own place when we got married and he m...
A. 23 May 2016: I've been with my husband for 20 years and there are still things he doesn't "just" do, but I have come to a point where if I NEED something done I do't ask... I TELL him; "hey honey, take out the trash, THANK YOU!" And it works. It's not ... (read in full...)
I am about to have sex with my new partner, and don't want to scare him off!
Q. I've been seeing a great guy for some time now and we're about to start having sex. I'm in my late thirties (he's of my age), divorced after 15 years. Almost half of my marriage the sex was... well just going through the motions before becoming...
A. 23 May 2016: I wouldn't put that pressure on BOTH of you, by telling him in advance.
What you CAN do is telling (when you are about to get intimate) that you are nervous, as it has been AGES since you last had enjoyable sex, so long in fact that you don't ev... (read in full...)
Do I have a right to feel disrespected, or wondering if any loyalty exists, anymore, between us?
Q. What would YOU think? How would YOU feel? How would YOU react? Couple months ago made friends with a woman. Weve gone for coffee. Visited, visited others together, gone for walks, just spent time together, getting to know each other. A couple ...
A. 23 May 2016: If a person isn't a positive influence in your life ( that seems to go for BOTH of them) then why keep them around?
It seems to create more drama than anything and it's not making you happy.
... (read in full...)
Should pull her aside and ask her to refrain from further comments on my body or my weight?
Q. Last year I lost the weight that I gained in winter time. One of my co worker congratulated me and said I look great and not to lose anymore. However, now almost every time I see her she always makes a reference to my weight and tells me that I'm ...
A. 23 May 2016: Yeah, next step would be calling her on it. Specially since ignoring it didn't work.
And I agree with wherelifewouldtakeus and SVC - by either make it a non-issue (SVC's option) or shutting her down with humor ( wherelifewouldtakeus' option).... (read in full...)
In an LDR and my boyfriend has told an elaborate lie for no good reason. Help!
Q. Hi to the helpful people in this forum. I could REALLY use your advice. I am in my mid forties and my partner is in his early fifties. We have been in an LDR now for 3 years, mainly due to family and work reasons, but I have been making plans to ...
A. 23 May 2016: So basically his reaction to your questions was a "shut up and suck it up, you have nothing to worry about". Which really doesn't help you one bit, does it? It doesn't make you feel like OK he had a reason for leaving me hanging or for that ... (read in full...)
He wont talk to me after a fight.
Q. I've been talking with this guy for months now, but lately I'm juSt having difficulty dealing with him. He was really caring, and acts nice and always tries to keep the conversation going. We had a fight a 2 weeks ago, and I hurt him with my ...
A. 23 May 2016: I don't think he is as NICE as you think he is.
IF you two had a disagreement/argument and you apologized and HE accepted that apology him giving you the "silent treatment" is not nice. It basically means he DIDN'T accept the apology and maybe al... (read in full...)
I'm very grateful for my Mother's help, but why would a mother treat one son more favourably, financially, than her other son?
Q. Hello to all the Aunts and Uncles Okay, I'm really needing some help here. Basically I have lost pretty much everything. I don't want to really go into that side of things too much. But I've lost my home. My business. When I went under my ...
A. 23 May 2016: So talk to her?
... (read in full...)
Do I have a right to feel disrespected, or wondering if any loyalty exists, anymore, between us?
Q. What would YOU think? How would YOU feel? How would YOU react? Couple months ago made friends with a woman. Weve gone for coffee. Visited, visited others together, gone for walks, just spent time together, getting to know each other. A couple ...
A. 23 May 2016: I had to scroll back up to check your age...
You story seems like it was written by a middle schooler, not a grown woman.
1. You have a FRIEND call a guy to let him know you like him? That needs to stop. IF you like a guy you NEED to woman up... (read in full...)
Should pull her aside and ask her to refrain from further comments on my body or my weight?
Q. Last year I lost the weight that I gained in winter time. One of my co worker congratulated me and said I look great and not to lose anymore. However, now almost every time I see her she always makes a reference to my weight and tells me that I'm ...
A. 23 May 2016: "Next time I'm thinking to pull her aside and ask her to refrain from further comments on my body or I'll go to ER."
You mean HR, right? No need to put her in the ER!!
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And yes, you should tell her to stop comm... (read in full...)
Chance to see a girl at a party who I talked to online, before she rejected me. Do I try to speak to her? Do I just pretend it never happened?
Q. This is quite embarrassing but I met a girl online. I found out recently I have the chance to meet her. Really random and unlikely, so maybe its a sign we are meant to be? Either way all this time I still have not moved on and forgot about her...
A. 23 May 2016: I think she rejected you with good reason. IT wasn't how you looked that she rejected, but that you LIED about how you looked. YOU cat-fished her. THAT in not cool.
Now, meeting her won't REALLY have changed much. YOU still lied to her in the past... (read in full...)
In an LDR and my boyfriend has told an elaborate lie for no good reason. Help!
Q. Hi to the helpful people in this forum. I could REALLY use your advice. I am in my mid forties and my partner is in his early fifties. We have been in an LDR now for 3 years, mainly due to family and work reasons, but I have been making plans to ...
A. 22 May 2016: Hopefully he will be honest with you.
If he did indeed lie, he IS the one creating the mistrust. And I think that is important to make him aware off.
He could be person who DOES lie a lot for whatever reason. There might even be NO GOOD reaso... (read in full...)
In an LDR and my boyfriend has told an elaborate lie for no good reason. Help!
Q. Hi to the helpful people in this forum. I could REALLY use your advice. I am in my mid forties and my partner is in his early fifties. We have been in an LDR now for 3 years, mainly due to family and work reasons, but I have been making plans to ...
A. 22 May 2016: Maybe this is not about him cheating, but him trying to make himself seem more "interesting". That he isn't sitting at home e-mailing you all the time, but that he goes hang out and be social.
Basically, THAT he has a life.
No one wants to see... (read in full...)
I'm very grateful for my Mother's help, but why would a mother treat one son more favourably, financially, than her other son?
Q. Hello to all the Aunts and Uncles Okay, I'm really needing some help here. Basically I have lost pretty much everything. I don't want to really go into that side of things too much. But I've lost my home. My business. When I went under my ...
A. 22 May 2016: My guess is that she is hoping by making you ACCOUNTABLE and RESPONSIBLE (as in paying rent) and actually taking a BIG chunk of your money, that you will work HARDER on finding a new job and get on your way back to independence.
Why then doesn't ... (read in full...)
Can I learn to trust him? He went back to ex and then left her for me
Q. Hello so I got into a relationship with an older male and we were together for a year in which time he moved in with me and I fell pregnant. However, I started to get my suspicions that he was still sleeping with his ex towards the end of the ...
A. 22 May 2016: I agree with WiseOwlE
I think you are making the presumption that you somehow need to be the one doing ALL the work to make things work with this guy. When in fact NOTHING you can do will incline him to stay WITH you, if he sees greener grass.
... (read in full...)
What should I do? Is it understandable that I'm hurt that my boyfriend wants to be friends with a woman he cheated with?
Q. Last night my phone was dead and I could not find my charger. So I asked my boyfriend if I could use his phone because I had to call my sister for something important. I'm not the type to snoop but I saw 3 calls in the call log from a woman my...
A. 22 May 2016: Value yourself more. Seriously.
You KNOW what he is doing isn't OK, I even think HE knows, but he is pulling out all the " You can't tell me what to do stops". ALL he cares about (in this situation) is what HE wants. YOUR feelings aren't even a b... (read in full...)
Has anyone here cut ties with their own parent? Can I cut ties?
Q. Has anyone here cut ties with their own parent? This is going to come off terribly rude but I don't know how else to put it. My mother is a drug addict who also has mental issues, and treats me bad. After having a big argument last night over...
A. 22 May 2016: I think you need to do what you think will work for you. Let's say for a minute that the person in question is not your mom. She is a toxic person in your life who brings NOTHING positive to your life, who steals money from you, who CHOOSES to ... (read in full...)
Feeling confused over a crush. What can I do, to overcome the crush, without cutting ties with this man, who has been so kind to me?
Q. I am looking for advice on this I have became friendly with a man who is 20 years older than myself. He has always helped me out with DIY and other things and been really nice. He is married with a family. I have a boyfriend who travels a lot wi...
A. 22 May 2016: I don't think you CAN keep this man in your life AND be a decent GF.
I think the guy you are crushing on is giving you something you aren't getting from your BF, maybe attention? But that doesn't mean it's OK to get it from someone else.
... (read in full...)
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