I'm stuck in a one sided relationship with a guy who tries to deliberately belittles me. Can someone please advise what to do?
Q. So heres my problem, Ive been in a relationship with my boyfriend since October (9 months) and have lived with him for 8 months. We are always together. For the last 6 months, I havent been happy in life or in our relationship. I keep trying t...
A. 16 June 2016: You do know that you have NO control over what he chooses to do, right? That staying with him won't guarantee he won't self-harm or harm you.
I would advice you leave. IF you fear he will hurt himself, then contact the police.
If you fear h... (read in full...)
I want to break up, but what of the presents she gave me?
Q. If you are seeing some one for let's say four months, an you don't feel the same way, so you decide to break up with them, an the night before you do this they give you a few presents, do you keep the presents or give them back, an tell them it's ...
A. 10 June 2016: Can you link your previous post? Because it makes no sense if the question was the SAME just with a different gender.
Gender doesn't make a difference in manners, if you ask me.... (read in full...)
Do I let my ex's baby mama and child into my nursery?
Q. Hey I'm not sure what to write here but here it goes, I was with a guy for 6 years and got pregnant shortly after this he left me for a teenager and ignored me and his child I would text, got noting. I did every now again drop him a line to tell him ...
A. 10 June 2016: I agree with Myau
STOP contacting the guy with updates, he obviously doesn't care. And I don't think he deserves to get the updates or contact with your child. Yes, he fathered your child but he did nothing after that. I presume you don't get any ... (read in full...)
Should I be concerned that my girlfriend had her phone with her in the bathroom?
Q. My girlfriend had her phone with her in the bathroom today. We were having sex and afterwards, she had to use the bathroom. I waited for her outside the bathroom because I had to go. And I saw she came out with her phone. I did not say anything and ...
A. 10 June 2016: I don't bring my phone to the bathroom UNLESS there is a really good reason, like I KNOW I'm due to receive an important call/text.
When my husband was hospitalized, when my dad was hospitalized - those kind of situations.
I think her explan... (read in full...)
My ex messaged that she wants to try again after years of little communication!
Q. So what do you do when an old time ex suddenly wants to get back? When we first met I was 20, she was 17 we texted and went on a couple dates then i asked her to be my gf over a text message (very amateur of me right). The timing was awful, she was ...
A. 10 June 2016: This is actually a tough one, because I can see both sides, though I will nor use her age as an excuse to not answer you back then. It was over text, so it would have been SO easy to tell you, no or yes. Compared to having that conversation face to ... (read in full...)
I think this might be a case of 'out of the mouths of babes'!
Q. My fiance has been working as a security guard for asylum seeker and refugee homes for almost one year now. Very quickly they put him onto night shift and now our schedules clash and we don't see each other as much as we would like to, I mean, our ...
A. 9 June 2016: I don't know. Can also be a language barrier thing. And while a little girl might *think* he has a girl there.... She could also misunderstand the situation 100%, she IS a kid after all. Different culture and different way people treat/interact with ... (read in full...)
Was this a polite rejection?
Q. So I have been interested in guy who works the next building from mine.He's always friendly and was giving off subtle signs of interest. I finally gave him my number and told him to call/text sometime.He said sure.Then I ran into him today and he ...
A. 9 June 2016: I think you are right, he isn't looking to get to know you better. So if I were you I'd just stick to being polite and friendly and no more.
Could be he has a GF and didn't think calling you were appropriate, not did he want to divulge private ... (read in full...)
I want to break up, but what of the presents she gave me?
Q. If you are seeing some one for let's say four months, an you don't feel the same way, so you decide to break up with them, an the night before you do this they give you a few presents, do you keep the presents or give them back, an tell them it's ...
A. 9 June 2016: You definitely offer the presents back or DECLINE in receiving them.
If you already know that breaking up is where you are heading, you don't wait til the day AFTER she gives you a present.
If you keep them? Well, then I'd probably think t... (read in full...)
I'm stuck in a one sided relationship with a guy who tries to deliberately belittles me. Can someone please advise what to do?
Q. So heres my problem, Ive been in a relationship with my boyfriend since October (9 months) and have lived with him for 8 months. We are always together. For the last 6 months, I havent been happy in life or in our relationship. I keep trying t...
A. 9 June 2016: Do you have a place to go?
Are you on the lease? The utility bills?
If you HAVE a place to go (even if it's temporarily) and you are NOT on the lease and bills - pack your stuff when he is out partying and get out.
If you ARE on the lea... (read in full...)
I want my Bf back. How can I attempt to achieve that aim?
Q. I want my ex boyfriend back , when i first met my ex there was something special there and i felt so comfortable with him as tho i had known him years . But after our first meet he kept cancelling we had a break and decided to try again but agai...
A. 9 June 2016: I don't think you can "make" him see that you are as good fit as you feel/think you are.
My advice get on with your life, don't date a while but develop a life YOU can feel happy and fulfilled with. I tell you why. Because THAT makes a person a... (read in full...)
Not long before we started to date he had sex with a girl who is one of my friends. Now I know I feel uncomfortable about it. How should I respond?
Q. Would you date a guy who had slept with your friend not long before you decided to date? Note that it was not a one night stand, but happened a few times... I have known this guy for a while and only recently have we hung out a lot and gotten t...
A. 8 June 2016: I would feel a bit uncomfortable too. After all SHE is his room-mate so readily available for a shag that means nothing.
How does SHE feel about him? Did it mean as little to her?
I have always thought people who have sex with their "pool of f... (read in full...)
She was being cagey about where she’d been, so I checked her phone. Then we had a long talk about it all. Advice?
Q. Hey, Bare with me this is long but for a bit of backstory... Ive been with this girl for about 6 months and she is great, we hang out all the time and are really close and affectionate with eachother. We have discussed that we would like...
A. 8 June 2016: I will try and not be to harsh here.
If I was in her shoes I'd dump you in a heartbeat. There is NO room in a healthy relationship for snooping like this. The fact that you didn't JUST see what had gone on that night in question, that night sh... (read in full...)
One week into the relationship, now that he has me, the thrill is gone for him. It's not looking good, is it?
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for about a week now. Before that, he chased me for a year and I never gave in because I thought he was a jerk and needed to try harder. One day we had a falling out where we didn't talk for a few days, and when he met ...
A. 8 June 2016: It's been a week and the "thrill" is already gone?
I would just tell him that you don't think it will work and then walk away.
A relationship and courting shouldn't be THIS hard 1 (ONE) week into it.
What really is there to build on or wor... (read in full...)
I'm being bullied at work. Should I quit?
Q. I joined this one company about six months back, and everything was hunky-dory for a while.It was a very small office with less than 10 people working, but the salary seemed okay for a fresher and I had no trouble fitting in. Days went by, and I ...
A. 8 June 2016: I think you work in an environment with really bad attitude and you are NOT adding anything positive to it either.
These "fights" you got into with X were they over work? Has she been there longer and was telling you what to do and you got mad ... (read in full...)
Why can't he see the potential I can see for our relationship?
Q. OK there's this guy i was seeing for about a month I'm not going to lie and tell u it was amazing or anything but we got on great we always had a laugh and he always went on about how much he liked me and we even spoke about a future together. so ...
A. 8 June 2016: Ah! You know what the problem is? YOU are dating a guy for his potential. The potential YOU *think* you can see in him, NOT the potential HE sees in himself.
You will continue the string of "bad luck" (or rather badly picked partners) if you igno... (read in full...)
Did my jealousy push him away? Did I cause him to cheat?
Q. First this is going to be long I'm sorry --I have been dating a guy for a year. He is a very loving affectionate, thoughtful guy who is in constant contact and we see eachother every night. I pretty much live with him. I was cheated by my past ex so ...
A. 7 June 2016: "My mom and father feel he was just no good to begin with and while he loved me he is just a cheater and no one can be pushed to cheat. or do you feel i was just too bat shit crazy and pushed this man away?"
I think it's a bit of both.
I think... (read in full...)
Should I tell her Bf what she is like?
Q. A female who fancies me wants to have me and isn't happy in her relationship currently with a man she's with. He's not the best looking but he is a nice guy and really loves her, and I feel sorry for him as he does and she doesn't feel the same ...
A. 7 June 2016: I wouldn't.
And I would tell her to quit it once and for all. Maybe even suggest that if she isn't happy with her BF she should stop stringing him along.
I would want nothing to do with this girl. So yes, I would stop giving her attention an... (read in full...)
Do I try to include my donor friend? Or be grateful for what he's offered and respect his wish for no involvement with the child??
Q. My friend has offered to be a sperm donor , im single and have been for a quite a while i just havent met the right man . i dont have time on my side and i suffer from pcos im slightly overweight due to pcos and weightloss is twice as hard. i keep...
A. 7 June 2016: Does this guy have traits, looks, etc that YOU want in a "donor" ?
One of my really good friends decided at 39 that she wanted a child, she didn't have a BF and didn't want to wait any further. She did go through a sperm-bank. She told me it wa... (read in full...)
Does it seem that this type of man would love a girl of this nature? What's the attraction?
Q. Can this guy really be deeply in love with this girl? I have a college classmate/group member who I kind of have a crush on, but his relationshiup with his girlfriend is kind of questionable. Had a friend ask him if he has a girlfriend, and ...
A. 7 June 2016: Does it matter?
HE likes her, no he says he LOVES her. Now he may go back to his country or marry someone of his own background when he is done with studies, but in the mean while SHE is the one he is with.
Honestly, OP... if he is sleeping w... (read in full...)
Do I tell him I like him before he leaves? He is going away and I have a crush on him
Q. SO there is this guy that I really like. I dont really know if my affections are justified because we have only really talked a couple of times. He goes to my church. Anyways I have a crush on him. A big one. He is so handsome and sweet and la...
A. 7 June 2016: I wouldn't tell him about the crush.
If he doesn't feel the same way, he will feel awkward about you and not want any contact.
If he DOES feel the same there is nothing either of you can do, as he will be gone for 2 years.
I agree with De... (read in full...)
Past problems caused our break. What can I do?
Q. My fiancé recently ended it with me 6 days ago. Saying out of the blue she wasn't happy. We only got engaged a month and half ago and had been trying unsuccessfully for a baby. A year and half ago her son died at birth and she never come to turns ...
A. 7 June 2016: I would back of and give her space, and time to miss you and what you two had. Don't be available to her for a while.
IT sounds like she has some grieving to do and some feelings to sort out.
She knows that you are hoping for a second chance, s... (read in full...)
How can I positively identify if my Bf is cheating on me, or not?
Q. Hello. How do I know, I mean REALLY know if my boyfriend is cheating on me? His office is mostly women employees. And I met him that way. He owns a small business. He has about 10 women who work there and only three men, all of whom are older...
A. 7 June 2016: Tracking his phone won't STOP him from cheating nor would it give you 100% proof.
But IT does make you into someone I don't think you really are. A "crazy GF with trust issues". JUST because he employ women and he met YOU are work doesn't mean he ... (read in full...)
Can the love that once existed be rekindled between us or are we done?
Q. i have been married for 23 years and been with my husband since we have been 14 years old. I just recently found out he had an affair on me with a younger woman recently and has been seeing her behind my back for 7 months. I really want to work on ...
A. 7 June 2016: You can drag a horse to water, but you can't MAKE it drink. Same with your husband.
Maybe what you need to do is focus on yourself (and if you have kids, them).
Do a trial separation. Tell him you wish him happiness, remind him by letting him g... (read in full...)
Any tips to ensure things can progress positively between this girl and I?
Q. Hey, Basically I'm a bit of an idiot when I'm drunk lol I messaged a girl that I think is attractive when I got home one night and asked if I could take her out on a date, we got chatting for a bit and she said yes. Sounds great, but the t...
A. 7 June 2016: I would make sure SHE knows that you can't take her out for another 2 week, and then one week out you talk to her about what date/time will work for her. I suggest you don't ASK her :"what works for you?" but say: " Are you free Saturday xx date xx ... (read in full...)
Is there a bias to the answers here?
Q. I was wondering why aunts and uncles are more willing to answer questions that are related to below belly button , thresum, Fwb, F buddies, but are less likely to help on some serious questions regarding other issues? Have we gotten some preferences ...
A. 6 June 2016: First, I agree with SVC, no one here claims to be experts or professionals. I think we ALL answer those we feel we CAN give advice to, often times something we have some insight into or experience with.
I don't think uncles and aunts are more wil... (read in full...)
Dumped and I don't know why
Q. My bf of six months just broke up with me and I am devasted - to begin with I don't know how to deal with the fact that I am turning 30 in three months and still alone- he broke up over a text message because we don't see things eye to eye- meaning ...
A. 6 June 2016: I wouldn't call him unstable. I would call him unrealistic, perhaps.
In the future, don't go ABOVE and BEYOND for a BF. IT sets a precedence you will regret later on. Having a standard is always a good thing. So don't SUCK it up to try and keep... (read in full...)
Is my instructor good enough?
Q. I don't know if this is allowed to be discussed on this website but I just wanted other people's opinions. I have had driving lessons for 8 months now, done around 30 hours of driving with my instructor as well as around 30 hours in my own car which ...
A. 6 June 2016: I don't know how driving education is done in the UK (I'm familiar with the Danish way and American), but I will say this much, 8 months of taking driving lessons is a LONG LONG time.
Does your driving instructor belong to a company? If so, I'd ... (read in full...)
Should I feel this hurt that he dumped me?
Q. Dear Aunts. I had sex without protection with some guy a month ago. Before we had sex he told me that he loves me so i just went with the flow. The next morning he bought(he is working) me morning after pill to prevent the chances of me getting p...
A. 6 June 2016: Think of it this way, OP
AT least you are NOT one of his baby-mommas! A guy who doesn't BOTHER to use protection when having sex and CARES so little for the woman that he think taking a Plan B is like taking vitamins.... He really IS NOT worthy o... (read in full...)
Do I try to include my donor friend? Or be grateful for what he's offered and respect his wish for no involvement with the child??
Q. My friend has offered to be a sperm donor , im single and have been for a quite a while i just havent met the right man . i dont have time on my side and i suffer from pcos im slightly overweight due to pcos and weightloss is twice as hard. i keep...
A. 6 June 2016: Honestly?
If you are JUST looking for a sperm donor, I'd go the "official" way with a sperm bank. He might say NOW that he doesn't want to know, and doesn't want to partake, but things can change. People change. And not always for the better. ... (read in full...)
What would be causes of concern if your new BF said he had never dated before?
Q. So, I just started dating a guy, and I really like him. He is 29, dorky, cute, kind, compassionate, and we share a lot of the same interests. He is definitely a bit awkward. He confessed that he'd never been in a relationship before. When I as...
A. 5 June 2016: I wouldn't worry.
He might have been VERY shy, a slow bloomer but he is OBVIOUSLY working on that now.
The BENEFITS of dating someone with not "history" is that you two can make it YOUR way, so to speak - you won't be compared to an ex, you wo... (read in full...)
Is this friend worthy of being called a friend or is he just playing me?
Q. Hi, I've been in friendship with this guy for long 6 years now. There was a time when I had crush on him and later he said he too felt the same. But Let me tell you;this guy quite egoistic, bit short tempered, little bit mean, self-centred an...
A. 5 June 2016: Cut him off. I mean really WHAT do you get out of this "friendship"? It seems to me that that he keeps you around for his own benefit with disregard to you AND his wife.
And yes, he is being abusive and when you call him in it... he calls it a jok... (read in full...)
Enough is enough. Is walking away a solution? my adult son has mental health issues and my ex-husband does help with our son.
Q. Hi, I was married for many years and my ex-husband, although he does not live with me, spends a lot of time at my home to help me with our son, 24, who has always had a number of mental health issues and now drinks heavily. I am so depressed with...
A. 5 June 2016: Does your some receive any medical help? Alcohol is rarely a good idea for someone dealing with mental issues.
Does he have a case-worker? Is he receiving any kind of benefits?
If you think he is capable of a part-time job - what would that ... (read in full...)
Why is my Bf refusing to tell me why he wants a tracking device?
Q. Hi, first all thanks for reading this. My bf of 2 years suddenly asked me about a gps tracking device that he knows I had in the past. I told him I don't have it with me. It is in my locker ( work locker) and I asked what do you need for that ...
A. 5 June 2016: If he can't tell you, he can't have it. Simple.
Now he might be pulling a "you should trust me" - but that goes both ways, doesn't it? He should trust YOU enough to tell you why.... (read in full...)
My Ex is dating one of my oldest friends. Yet he's also asked to meet me again. Why would he do this?
Q. Boyfriend and I broke up over a year ago and its been rocky ever since with almost getting back together and hating eachother. We were almost getting back together but he decides he wants to date one of my oldest friends of twelve years. They then ...
A. 5 June 2016: Tell him:" no, thanks "(to meeting up) There is no real future for you two. As for him dating a really close friend of yours now? Well. it's a little awkward perhaps, but I'd wish them both Good luck. Him however, I would block on the phone, social ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for fathers to not want to deal with their baby?
Q. My friend has a baby of 1 year. It was her boyfriend who wanted a child, and when she was pregnant he seemed so happy about it. I just visited them for 4 days, and I was shocked to see how he behaved! He didn't even want to be there, he left as s...
A. 4 June 2016: I would blame the BF, sorry. He is a USELESS BF and daddy. Doesn't matter if they had gotten married first or whenever they had the child, it's not like she KNEW he would be like that and then still had his kid.
She has to decide if this relation... (read in full...)
Is it normal for fathers to not want to deal with their baby?
Q. My friend has a baby of 1 year. It was her boyfriend who wanted a child, and when she was pregnant he seemed so happy about it. I just visited them for 4 days, and I was shocked to see how he behaved! He didn't even want to be there, he left as s...
A. 4 June 2016: That IS strange behavior. IMHO
I don't know why she puts up with it to be honest, she might as well be a single mom. Difficult for him? WTF? Doesn't like putting the child to bed? It's a 1 year old baby! Seriously!
I don't like to DO a LOT of t... (read in full...)
LDR boyfriend is always too busy. Do I end things?
Q. I have been in a long distant relationship for 9 months and he lives in the same country as me. Up to the first 8 months, he used to make time for me and always would message me. However, recently he has started to message me less and he would ...
A. 4 June 2016: I'd pull back and see if he steps up or not. If he doesn't, then I would consider it over. If he does, then maybe there is something to work on.
I think quite often people have these "pen-pal like LDR's" where they haven't met in person and don'... (read in full...)
What am I doing wrong in this relationship?
Q. MOD NOTE: THis has been posted previously, OP wants more answers Hi, I am in a predicament... I broke up with my boyfriend a month ago, I feel like for 7 months I bent over backwards for him and tolerated a lot of things from him to the p...
A. 4 June 2016: Other post for the Aunt and Uncles:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-questioning-the-relationship-because-my-boyfriend-often.html... (read in full...)
What am I doing wrong in this relationship?
Q. MOD NOTE: THis has been posted previously, OP wants more answers Hi, I am in a predicament... I broke up with my boyfriend a month ago, I feel like for 7 months I bent over backwards for him and tolerated a lot of things from him to the p...
A. 4 June 2016: What are you doing wrong?
1. You bend over backwards. Which makes guys like your BF treat like a doormat. It IS OK to have standards for what you are OK with and what you are not. You don't "keep" a guy by letting him treat you like crap.
... (read in full...)
I'm not feeling emotionally strong anymore. I keep getting hurt in this relationship. So what can I do?
Q. my life is a mess. a ' friend' and i decided to be more that just friends i dont see him much at all even tho he only lives 10 miles away . the thing is he always lets people down . the thing that hurt so much is he let me down last minute hes done ...
A. 4 June 2016: I don't think FWB are for you. AT ALL.
The whole IDEA of a FWB is that there are NO demands, no responsibilities, no commitment and no need to explain why he is cancelling.
He isn't your BF he is the guy you occasionally (or often)
have se... (read in full...)
What am I to make of her actions? Girl in my class has a Bf yet she gave me a note and kissed me on the cheek
Q. Hello all, I've known this girl in my class for four years and in our last year of college we got to know each other a little better. We collaborated on many occasions and organized main events and school-related assignments together. ...
A. 4 June 2016: I think she decided that she HAD to "stop riding the fence" either go after you... or stick with the BF and then cut you out.
She chose option #2.
While she may have really liked you, liked the flirting and fun stuff, she might have figured out... (read in full...)
I'm questioning the relationship because my boyfriend often blows me off for his friend
Q. Hi, I have been dating my current boyfriend for about 9 months. I really like him when we are alone, I feel like we see things similarly, we have similar opinions about things, we have the same taste in things, similar humor and sometimes he...
A. 3 June 2016: I am not sure if there is some delay here :) but I answered the mail you sent me with the same question. IF you didn't get it I can copy it onto the thread.... (read in full...)
Is he giving me the silent treatment? Or has he moved on?
Q. I've posted about my issue a while ago, but, now I'm just having a difficult time facing the situation. I've met this guy months ago, everything was going smoothly and perfectly fine. We would talk for hours, he would flirt and he did told me that ...
A. 3 June 2016: I agree with nonny up to a point,
If going to his homecoming involves you getting a dress/ticket/anything like that, you NEED to know if you are going or not.
However, I would presume he is done with you. A month of not talking? Yes, I ... (read in full...)
I'm questioning the relationship because my boyfriend often blows me off for his friend
Q. Hi, I have been dating my current boyfriend for about 9 months. I really like him when we are alone, I feel like we see things similarly, we have similar opinions about things, we have the same taste in things, similar humor and sometimes he...
A. 2 June 2016: I think the problem is that YOU want him to change, HE doesn't. Yes, he did the life-coaching thing (for you) not to change but to shut you up.
I think you HAVE to accept that HE isn't ready for the kind of serious relationship YOU are. Talking ... (read in full...)
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