A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:So, my (verbally abusive) boyfriend of 2 years and I finally called it off. A few months later, I reconnect with and re-fall for this brilliant, kind, handsome guy who I used to be *very friendly* with in high school. Happy ending? Nope! He decides he might love somebody else. Then, along comes Mr. Wrong--yep, the first guy--ready to comfort me. My heart is torn. do I run back to my familiar ex with whom I share so much love and grief? or wait for my new-old guy to finish choosing between me and another person in the hopes that he picks me? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (13 June 2016):
 third option...NONE OF THE ABOVE.
what's wrong with being single and free for a bit.
if the choice is a guy who's still with someone or a guy who abuses you why is it even a choice? do you hate yourself that much?
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (12 June 2016):
 Okay, first of all, you never, *ever* go back to an abuser, once you've got out. You're free. Cut *all* contact and move on. Tell any friends or family who have contact with him that you no longer want anything to do with him and politely ask them not to talk to you about him or him about you.
As for the other guy, I'd suggest waiting no longer than 2 weeks. If he really can't choose you by then, he's not fussed and you're better off with someone who actually *wants* you and isn't unsure about it.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 June 2016):
 The other ladies are right : a big, resounding neither.
One is verbally abusive and you shared love but also a lot of grief : who wants to invite grief at your age ?! ( or at any age as for that- it's just that at 18-21 you have tons of time in front of you and surely are under no social or psychological pressure to find someone real fast )
The other is lukewarm and undecided . Let him be and make up his mind on his own. If he picks you- and if by then you'll be still willing and unattached - then you'll see what to do .
Note that I say " you'll see ", not " you'll take him ", because the fact that he started so wishy-washy about you does not bide well for the future .Look, if somebody really likes you- they really like you, what is there to think and and hesitate about ? If they are uncertain, well, they don't like you that much.
Go for someone who likes you much- no ifs and buts.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (11 June 2016):
 How about neither guy?
You ALREADY know that #1 is abusive and isn't BF material, so why on Earth settle for that? (again)
#2 Was a dud. While the IDEA of you two sounded great and the fantasy seemed great it wasn't. IT happens.
So now what do you do?
You take some time to figure out what YOU want in a guy. You don't dig around in the past like some raccoon in the trash, and pick out the last BF you had.
What is so wrong with being single that you are willing to re-enter an abusive relationship?
BLOCK, DELETE and REMOVE both men from your life. Ding things that makes YOU happy, spend time with people that are positive, fun, supportive, be your OWN strongest supporter.
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A
female
reader, Denada846 +, writes (10 June 2016):
Sadly you pick no one but yourself - I've learned and am learning life is too short to wait around for a man
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