Would going to the movies with an older male colleague be a mistake?
Q. Hi everyone, A few months ago, I moved to a new city for a new job. Most of my colleagues are a lot older than I am, and I am basically the 'new' blood being brought in to compensate for those who are going to retire soon. Anyway, I'm new to t...
A. 3 December 2016: I'm so sorry the company hasn't done anything to help you. And that he doesn't accept responsibility and act like a decent human being.
Honesty? I'd go back to HR and show them the text where the threatened you. That is ridiculous. And why do I... (read in full...)
I found oral contraceptives and condoms in my boyfriend's room. What should I do?
Q. I found used oral contraceptive in my boyfriend room which I didn't use and also found 3 condoms under his pillow I asked him and he said he just bought it. Please what should I do ...
A. 26 September 2016: I'd wish him well and end it.
Why would he buy oral contraception to have to lie around his room? I call absolute BS. And condoms UNDER his pillow? Unless you two are sexually active and use condoms, I just don't see it being anything but a sh... (read in full...)
I've been catfishing my ex for 8 months to discover out what kind of father he would be to the child he doesn't know he has with me
Q. I have been catfishing my ex for the last 8 months. I originally did it for information because after he moved away, I discovered i was pregnant. I couldn't reach him for 2 years and when I came across him I was scared so I made up a Facebook ...
A. 26 September 2016: Be honest with him. IF he still wants contact, go for it. If he doesn't.. accept it.
Catfishing is NEVER Ok. Sorry, but no excuse justify playing with someone's emotions or spy on them.... (read in full...)
I wonder if my boyfriend is cheating, how do I know for sure?
Q. I would like to know whether or not my boyfriend is cheating. Of course you can never really know but understanding the signs my boyfriend is presenting would be great, if any at all. I have been dating this guy for roughly 2 months and a bit...
A. 26 September 2016: You know, he should be lying to his mom and YOU shouldn't have to lie to his mom either.
Yes, it sucks for him that she KNOWS he was lying.
And yes it sucks that he is upset you mentioned it to his mom. But... Maybe he should come clean to hi... (read in full...)
Dating has gotten me confused about what I want!
Q. Dating and making decisions... Need advice! I am on a dating site. I agreed to meet two men on there. One I have been writing to for a few days, and we share the same goals in life, he is very handsome, and I can see a future with a man like him. He ...
A. 26 September 2016: Thanks for the update, sorry it didn't pan out.
You "win" some, you lose some.
Both were good men, just not a GOOD match for you.
... (read in full...)
I want to ask my boyfriend's mom if I could go with them see b/f but am afraid of her reaction
Q. Ive been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half now. He recently went off to college and we have been doing long distances since. His mom is the type of mom who is really protective. It seems as though she is jealous of me and worried that her ...
A. 25 September 2016: I'd just talk to your BF and find a time where HIS parents aren't visiting and then go myself.
Christmas might be expensive so perhaps wait?
But I understand his parents, even though I think the mom is babying him a bit there. I mean he was in... (read in full...)
My husband doesn't like me wearing makeup and criticizes me
Q. My husband hates the fact that I wear makeup. When we first met I was into more of a "barefaced" look (meaning I only wore mascara). Once I started working again(after taking care of babies for a few years), I went back to my glam-girl ways and ...
A. 25 September 2016: He sounds like an ass. Honestly, I have no better words.
He IS, like chigirl said, trying to manipulate you into not wearing make-up by criticizing you. Tear you down, when he SHOULD build you up.
And I do agree that a divorce is the only way ... (read in full...)
Am I crazy or is this gaslighting?
Q. Am I crazy? My husband has the habit of lying to me about little things. For example, he'll say he has nothing planned for the weekend and the weekend will roll around and he'll tell me that he has to go to work (and he does- I can verify that and ...
A. 25 September 2016: I agree with YouWish and Cindy, it's not gaslighting, but it is a type of avoidance on his behalf.
Kind of like the " rather apologize for whatever afterward than ask permission" situation that some teens use...
What I'd do, is MAKE plans fo... (read in full...)
I wonder if my boyfriend is cheating, how do I know for sure?
Q. I would like to know whether or not my boyfriend is cheating. Of course you can never really know but understanding the signs my boyfriend is presenting would be great, if any at all. I have been dating this guy for roughly 2 months and a bit...
A. 25 September 2016: I don't necessarily think he is cheating. I just think he hasn't grown a whole lot in those 7 years and you... carry some of that "baggage" from the past where he would just vanish.
It's not totally strange that you don't trust him, but I think yo... (read in full...)
Is my partner setting things up to look for a fight?
Q. My partner is very forgretful. He puts his phone down and forgets where and says he cant find it. Then he pushes up the stress by indirectly accusing me or someone else of taking it. Then he gets aggressive and abusive to me, telling me I get...
A. 24 September 2016: Impossible to say.
Have you tried to call his phone from your phone and see if it rings?
IF you have and nothing rings, I'd walk away from him. Leave the house if you have to, after telling him you have no desire to take his phone and if he ... (read in full...)
I feel like my trust meter is broken. How can I tell if this guy is trustworthy?
Q. I am in the middle of a divorce. I had sworn to myself to stay out of the dating scene until at least the divorce was finalized. I even purposely stopped dressing nicely or wearing makeup in order to avoid attracting attention. My soon to be ex ...
A. 24 September 2016: Best way?
To take things slow and watch if his words match his actions. A trustworthy person has their actions matching their word. Basically, their word is their bond.
Now that doesn't mean every person who keeps their word is always trustwort... (read in full...)
Would going to the movies with an older male colleague be a mistake?
Q. Hi everyone, A few months ago, I moved to a new city for a new job. Most of my colleagues are a lot older than I am, and I am basically the 'new' blood being brought in to compensate for those who are going to retire soon. Anyway, I'm new to t...
A. 23 September 2016: You are still the one who DID it. YOU stood up to him, YOU told him enough, you told him this is inappropriate.
When you posted your initial question you KNEW it was inappropriate of your co-worker or at least "iffy". So you have good instinct... (read in full...)
Would going to the movies with an older male colleague be a mistake?
Q. Hi everyone, A few months ago, I moved to a new city for a new job. Most of my colleagues are a lot older than I am, and I am basically the 'new' blood being brought in to compensate for those who are going to retire soon. Anyway, I'm new to t...
A. 23 September 2016: I hope the new job situation will work out for you. And I hope your boss (es) will understand that you HAD to go to HR because enough is enough.
Still TALK to your boss about the HR/Bob thing. He should be in the loop.
Seems like you have fo... (read in full...)
How should I handle her reaction? I feel I'm being completely blown off by my FWB friend
Q. So I've got a Fwb relationship that's been on going for quite some time now. Roughly 10 months. We have been friends since 2012 but the sleeping together started last November. This is not your typical fwb relationship. I've never had a relation...
A. 23 September 2016: You act like a GF. You treat the FWB like a relationship.
That is just my observation of your post.
No matter how GREAT a pair of friends you are, an FWB is NOT a relationship. It's a mutually beneficial arrangement between friends.
And ... (read in full...)
Would it be acceptable to ask if our family could go again to their vacation home?
Q. I have known a couple for a very long time and used to see them often, but for the last couple of years it seems like they only want to get together once a year. My family used to borrow their vacation house-- we haven't been in about 5 years. Do...
A. 23 September 2016: I agree with Cindy.
You have gone from being good friends who hung out and did stuff a lot to seeing each other once a year... So I'd find a bit... weird to ask to borrow their vacation home.
One thing is if they OFFER to let you use it, that... (read in full...)
Is it me? My Gf of 4 years just doesn't make any effort. Leaving me seriously unsatisfied
Q. I am really frustrated in my relationship. My girlfriend of 4 years I feel doesn't make effort. Or maybe it's me? We used to have a lot of sex, nearly daily. As routines changed this has reduced which is normal. Now in a week it's once and if I wak...
A. 23 September 2016: So because you wake up with a hard-on she is to provide instant gratification for you? No bother warming HER up or even asking if she is in the mood?
How gracious of you to let her jerk you off in bed when she wakes up! You know you have 2 hands ... (read in full...)
Do you think she sees a future with us at some point? How can I get things moving forward?
Q. Hi there. I have a problem with a girl that I have lost all my hang ups on and I have admitted to myself that I love her. I am a male in my mid 20's. Near the turn of the year I met a lovely girl and things developed quite fast. The girl had a c...
A. 23 September 2016: I don't think she wants ANYTHING more than an acquaintance/friendship with you because she has SEEN you in "action".
A guy who messages multiple girls is JUST not BF material, specially NOT to a woman who has a child. She has the added on a respon... (read in full...)
I don't want to cut all contact with him. But he has been distant with me ever since I asked if he was interested in anything serious. What do I do now?
Q. Hi everyone. I hope someone can shed some light on my situation. Recently, due to a change in jobs, my weekends are free, giving me more time to go out and socialise. Back in April, I went out to a local pub with my best friend where I bump...
A. 23 September 2016: My advice?
Cut the contact or continue to be his "booty call". They guy doesn't WANT to date you. He has TOLD you that to your face. You think if you show him how much you will give, how much you are willing to disrespect yourself, lower yourself... (read in full...)
Would going to the movies with an older male colleague be a mistake?
Q. Hi everyone, A few months ago, I moved to a new city for a new job. Most of my colleagues are a lot older than I am, and I am basically the 'new' blood being brought in to compensate for those who are going to retire soon. Anyway, I'm new to t...
A. 23 September 2016: I wish you good luck, OP.
And I wouldn't be surprised if this isn't the first time HR have heard about his shenanigans, though they probably won't tell you that.
Do the company have other branches? That is also a possibility. I know it could se... (read in full...)
Would going to the movies with an older male colleague be a mistake?
Q. Hi everyone, A few months ago, I moved to a new city for a new job. Most of my colleagues are a lot older than I am, and I am basically the 'new' blood being brought in to compensate for those who are going to retire soon. Anyway, I'm new to t...
A. 23 September 2016: I do think you have to go to HR ASAP. He still isn't accepting that YOU have stood up for yourself. I mean when I read your story he shifts from manipulation, accusations, "forgetfulness" and then to bribing.
Honestly? those are like CLEAR si... (read in full...)
Am I insecure? Or just a fool for wanting to be loved?
Q. I'm finally trying to keep the strength of avoiding contact with someone who Never clearly took me serious in the 1st place it hurts soo bad..we've driven past eachother twice and both occasions he pretends to be on his phone or put his head down ...
A. 22 September 2016: Are YOU lacking?
Well, yes.
You are lacking the good common sense that should tell you that you are NOT responsible for HIS lack of caring, lack of class, lack of interest and lack of human decency.
The truth is most likely that you were mor... (read in full...)
My husband called me uptight and its really bothering me. I want to discuss his actions but don't know how
Q. I don't know what to think of the fact that my husband called me uptight. It wouldn't have been such a big deal had he not said that I was like that all the time and that it bothered him that he had to keep his true nature in control. I don't w...
A. 22 September 2016: My guess?
This has a LOT less to do with you and a lot more to do with him.
He said what he said (and yes it's gross and immature something I wouldn't find AS offending in a dumb teenager trying to sound cool in front of his peers, but from ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend makes purchases with my credit and doesn't pay them off
Q. Hello. Last year my bf bought an iphone. He didnt have the money to buy it so he borrowed my credit card and he is making the payments. I realized he hasnt pay the full amount and it has been a year already but he makes monthly payments. Yesterday ...
A. 21 September 2016: Cancel your credit card RIGHT now. CUT it up in front of him. Make him realize that he can NO LONGER ruin your credit.
(you can order a new one that you NEED to hide from him if you absolutely need to have a credit card for emergencies - YOUR eme... (read in full...)
Should I just block this guy?
Q. I am in my 40s and did ask a question previously on here about this man who I had seen at our local coffee shop. The background I used to see him at my local pub but not to talk to many years ago and then he ended up moving to the same village that ...
A. 21 September 2016: Sp, OP what exactly is that you like about this chap?
The way he treats you? or his GF (if he has one, she might be an LDR/online GF for all you know)
If he is with someone do you think it's a great quality in a guy to hit on another woman?
... (read in full...)
What can I do to make my Bf chase me again?
Q. As short as possible: my boyfriend of two months seems to be too relaxed in our relationship. What can i do to make him chase me again? I need him to start working for this relationship because i feel like he doesn't take me seriously anymore....
A. 21 September 2016: Stop chasing him. Sit back and see if he starts to initiate contact and plan dates and meet ups.
If he doesn't end it and find someone who doesn't get "bored" with a relationship in less than 2 months.... (read in full...)
Broke up with friends. What was my former friend trying to say? should I be worried?
Q. I had friends who i just broke up with because they were beginning to be close friends with someone I know very well. She can't be trusted. I explained to them why i don't trust her and since we live in the same commune i know her better than they ...
A. 21 September 2016: Should you be worried?
Um, yes... unless you like being friendless.
You might as well learn now that you CAN NOT dictate whom your friends befriend.
So you don't like the girl from your commune, OK... SO what? So now the whole World shou... (read in full...)
Could his actions when near me mean anything at all? Psychologically? Or am I being delusional?
Q. So Today In class during a lab, the guy i am badly crushing on was standing right next to me. We attend all classes together, he almost all the time stands very quietly, but when he was standing next to me, he was moving a lot and cracking...
A. 21 September 2016: You are a girl. Most likely all girls make him a little nervous. Cracking his knuckles might be a bad habit of things he does when nervous. Fidgeting is usually a sign of being nervous.
Standing close to you doesn't necessarily mean he is interest... (read in full...)
If I'm a good kisser, how likely is it that I'll also be a good lover?
Q. I've made out with 5-6 girls and I think I'm a good kisser because I know women hate men who slober over them and I try to figure out what does it for them and try to make them feel good. I honestly think I get more enjoyment thinking I'm g...
A. 21 September 2016: OP, sex is a road of discovery. One that you take WITH your partner. The better you know your partner outside of the bedroom, the better (most of the time) it will be IN the bedroom.
I know it might be hard, but TRY not to worry that you won't be... (read in full...)
He only has time to date once a week. Should I take it or leave it?
Q. Hello am a 48 year old woman, met a guy a couple of times from a dating site, we get along really good, we both want a relationship, our profile said, my guestion is he told me that he only has time for one day a week, we both work the same ours, ...
A. 21 September 2016: Honestly? Once a week would be great if you were looking for a friend to hang out with. You are not. You are looking for a partner, lover, a relationship.
And for him to say, take it or leave it - to me that is like saying I don't care what YOU... (read in full...)
Am I expecting too much for my friend to care?
Q. Is it wrong to want a friend to ask how you are if you've been in hospital? I always ask! Friend or colleague, family etc its nice to be asked, makes you feel like someone cares even a little If you got home from an over night hospital stay your...
A. 21 September 2016: I don't think it'sd too much to ask either.
If you guys talk often, I find it odd that she was totally quiet while you were in the hospital.
I would not make first contact after that.
... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting after boyfriend canceled plans?
Q. I'm 42; my boyfriend is 64--but we have a lot in common: musical interests, nightlife, movies, books, politics, travel, etc. We get along pretty well and have been dating for about four years. However, I don't feel like a priority. I know the s...
A. 21 September 2016: Am I overreacting in not feeling like a priority?
No, I don't think so.
I think you ARE an afterthought. And I think you have "let him" get away with it so often that he thinks it's the "norm". That YOU, as you are single with fewer commitment... (read in full...)
Male coworker blows hot and cold
Q. I'm wondering about this situation. Explanation is a bit long so bear with me. I have a new coworker who is in the cubicle next to mine. He is probably 5 or so years younger than me. He is best friends with another coworker (female), which is how he ...
A. 21 September 2016: Jen is possessive even if Damon is "just" her friend. Maybe that is just who she is. My guess is she got him the job there so that SHE could have a buddy at all times at work.
As for Damon, I think he is enjoying the slight rivalry between ... (read in full...)
Am I stupid for wanting a ring when everything is so perfect?
Q. Hi So I've been with my boyfriend for 8 years now (since we were 15) and I'm happier than Ive ever been in our relationship not because it was ever bad but it just keeps getting better. I can count our arguments on one hand and we get on like fri...
A. 21 September 2016: I am pretty sure most people after 8 years KNOW if the partner they are with is someone they want to marry or not.
And I think it's completely normal for you to want that level of commitment from him by now. And I find it more sensible to do so be... (read in full...)
Missed chance, did I do the right thing letting him go
Q. I was in love with someone for 2 years in high school but he wasn't single. When I was 21, 3 years after we left he contacted me but I wasn't single. I let him go as my feelings were no longer as strong. I stayed with my boyfriend as I wasn't going ...
A. 21 September 2016: You do know he isn't looking you up because he "loves you" but because he is bored in his marriage. He is hoping YOU will provide him with attention, affection, and entertainment.
Sorry, to put that so bluntly.
If he was OH SO in love with you... (read in full...)
Do you think he just wants to have me in his life in some type of way??
Q. After almost 2 years and no advancement I guess moving on is best, but what's confusing is when I cut him off he makes effort with the "I miss you and I love you" and he tells me he does want marriage and to be happy with me but he never stress me ...
A. 20 September 2016: I think you are his back-up. When you pull away he tries to suck you back in. I don't think it's because he loves you, but yes he wants you around in case he doesn't find "better"...
Why waste time on this guy? The relationship isn't going an... (read in full...)
Should I go home? How do I ask if I can go home? Please help
Q. Dear Cupid, I left home 6 months ago before I sat my final school exams because I was in a really bad place emotionally and I felt I needed to get away. The day I left my mother begged me to go home and I told her i couldn't do that. But now I wa...
A. 20 September 2016: You call your mom and you tell her how you feel.
My guess is, she will suggest you move home before you even ask to move home.... (read in full...)
Husband constantly nagging and critiquing
Q. My husband is constantly nagging and correcting. He is a generally likeable guy but when he gets close to somebody like wife or kids he critiques all the time where it sounds verbally abusive. He sees very little wrong with himself. He has a lo...
A. 20 September 2016: I think next time he starts with the nagging and/or criticizing I'd tell him: " no one is perfect, yes I make mistakes here and there and so do you, so can you quit with the being judgemental every time I do something that YOU feel isn't up to YOUR ... (read in full...)
Is it a lost cause once a guy starts demonstrating flakiness.
Q. In my experience once a guy flakes,we are pretty much dead in the water.It doesn't get better from that point, especially if it's in early stages of getting to know them.I always give them the benefit of the doubt and try to convince myself that it ...
A. 20 September 2016: I do think flakiness is a sign of NOT being so interested as they may have first lead you to believe.
Some people ARE disorganized, my husband's family as an example. They will suggest some big lofty things "we" should all go do and then they eit... (read in full...)
What's her problem with me?
Q. This woman that has lived in the same village as my partner for years. My partner fixes her car. At first he wanted us to become friends together because I am new to the village and he wanted me to make friends here. However, she seems to come ...
A. 20 September 2016: You are presuming she HAS to be nice to you, but in reality, she doesn't.
She isn't your friend nor does she want to be.
What I would do, is talk to your Bf and tell him that you aren't really keen on him playing "knight in shining armor" fo... (read in full...)
What to do? I'm dating a woman aged 30 and I can't handle her "sleeping around" in the past.
Q. I'm in my early 20s, not perfect but I met a woman who's 30 recently and we really hit it off. However shes has a LOT of bad things in her past. I'm not misogynist and I have obviously slept with girlfriends but she did a load of crazy stuff when...
A. 20 September 2016: If her past is something you can't look past and accept, you need to let her go.
EVERYONE has a past, maybe not as colorful as hers, but we have one.
Her past has made her into the woman you see in front of you today. Maybe due to her upbringin... (read in full...)
LDR has it cooled, he finds it boring or...???
Q. I would really appreciate some advice and your opinion. I've been in a LDR for a little over a month. We were together for a week before he had to leave and go back home (another continent!). We've been texting and talked over the phone a bit (I'...
A. 20 September 2016: I'd sit back and let him take charge. If he doesn't he just isn't that into you.
Texting you when he presumes you are asleep so he doesn't HAVE to have a conversation, that would be the nail in the coffin for me.
I don't think he is as into yo... (read in full...)
Would the average guy spend 1.5 hours in a store or was he lying?
Q. Is it possible for a guy - your boyfriend - to be in a store for 1.5 hours??? The same store??? He was out for awhile and I asked him about it and he said he was at an auto parts store for that long. He said he was browsing. That there were lots ...
A. 20 September 2016: Are you nuts, young lady?
I'm sorry, but calling the store to see if anyone remembering him there? Him having to show you a bill of sales?
If you can't trust him, don't date him.
I do most of my shopping online, but I did spend 2 hours the ... (read in full...)
If I'm a good kisser, how likely is it that I'll also be a good lover?
Q. I've made out with 5-6 girls and I think I'm a good kisser because I know women hate men who slober over them and I try to figure out what does it for them and try to make them feel good. I honestly think I get more enjoyment thinking I'm g...
A. 19 September 2016: I don't think I have ever told a BF that he was a lousy lay (and yes my 3rd BF was NOT very good at all in the sack, he was predictable, uninspired and lazy. ) I never told him. When we broke up there was no point in bringing it up.
And yes I to... (read in full...)
What's her problem with me?
Q. This woman that has lived in the same village as my partner for years. My partner fixes her car. At first he wanted us to become friends together because I am new to the village and he wanted me to make friends here. However, she seems to come ...
A. 19 September 2016: I think she has a crush on him. And she is somehow trying to assert her "I have known him longer" kind of "dominance" which is kinda weird.
She has a BF, but "needs" your BF to fix her car. So she likes playing "damsel in distress" with him. Alm... (read in full...)
If I'm a good kisser, how likely is it that I'll also be a good lover?
Q. I've made out with 5-6 girls and I think I'm a good kisser because I know women hate men who slober over them and I try to figure out what does it for them and try to make them feel good. I honestly think I get more enjoyment thinking I'm g...
A. 19 September 2016: First off, PORN is not sex. Get that in your head right away. What you see is NOT reality. It's fake. Even if it claims to me "amateur" or what not. Most of it is FAKE.
To be a good lover you have to KNOW your girl and what she likes. That WIL... (read in full...)
Dating has gotten me confused about what I want!
Q. Dating and making decisions... Need advice! I am on a dating site. I agreed to meet two men on there. One I have been writing to for a few days, and we share the same goals in life, he is very handsome, and I can see a future with a man like him. He ...
A. 18 September 2016: Well, #1 was a dud in the match in reality. Like you thought he was "too good to be true". Which I'm not surprised over really, he is a successful lawyer, that takes confidence and self-assurance, which can come off as arrogance. Think about it, his ... (read in full...)
Would going to the movies with an older male colleague be a mistake?
Q. Hi everyone, A few months ago, I moved to a new city for a new job. Most of my colleagues are a lot older than I am, and I am basically the 'new' blood being brought in to compensate for those who are going to retire soon. Anyway, I'm new to t...
A. 17 September 2016: Yes, be prepared. but also.... if they ask you to leave because they don't want to deal with this, GET it in writing. Take it to a lawyer. SERIOUSLY. Because THAT is totally MESSED up attitude from their side. And IF that is their attitude, it's NOT ... (read in full...)
Dating has gotten me confused about what I want!
Q. Dating and making decisions... Need advice! I am on a dating site. I agreed to meet two men on there. One I have been writing to for a few days, and we share the same goals in life, he is very handsome, and I can see a future with a man like him. He ...
A. 17 September 2016: GL on date with #1 !!... (read in full...)
Would going to the movies with an older male colleague be a mistake?
Q. Hi everyone, A few months ago, I moved to a new city for a new job. Most of my colleagues are a lot older than I am, and I am basically the 'new' blood being brought in to compensate for those who are going to retire soon. Anyway, I'm new to t...
A. 17 September 2016: Before you go to HR - WRITE down the whole story from start to "end". Add dates and times if you can. It's easier than going there nervous and THEN have to explain it.
I think going to HR would be a good idea. I didn't really think he would be... (read in full...)
Dating has gotten me confused about what I want!
Q. Dating and making decisions... Need advice! I am on a dating site. I agreed to meet two men on there. One I have been writing to for a few days, and we share the same goals in life, he is very handsome, and I can see a future with a man like him. He ...
A. 16 September 2016: Number #2 is a waste of your time, no matter how yummy and amazing that first contact was.
He would be a "fixer-upper" for you. Think about it. So many things HE or YOU would have to change. Would you give up your dog? Should he give up living o... (read in full...)
Would going to the movies with an older male colleague be a mistake?
Q. Hi everyone, A few months ago, I moved to a new city for a new job. Most of my colleagues are a lot older than I am, and I am basically the 'new' blood being brought in to compensate for those who are going to retire soon. Anyway, I'm new to t...
A. 14 September 2016: Good for you OP!
You grew a set, didn't you?! At least you didn't let him intimidate (which I think was HIS plan when he cornered you). Instead, you stood up to him and gave him VERY sound and rational reasons as to WHY you don't want to be his "... (read in full...)
Would going to the movies with an older male colleague be a mistake?
Q. Hi everyone, A few months ago, I moved to a new city for a new job. Most of my colleagues are a lot older than I am, and I am basically the 'new' blood being brought in to compensate for those who are going to retire soon. Anyway, I'm new to t...
A. 13 September 2016: Good for you!
I don't think it's weak to not want to have that conversation face to face. After all, you know yourself and you have had a glimpse of him and he seems VERY persuasive.
My guess is he will do one of 2 things:
1. try and pret... (read in full...)
Would going to the movies with an older male colleague be a mistake?
Q. Hi everyone, A few months ago, I moved to a new city for a new job. Most of my colleagues are a lot older than I am, and I am basically the 'new' blood being brought in to compensate for those who are going to retire soon. Anyway, I'm new to t...
A. 13 September 2016: No one is "annoyed" with your lack of spine here :) maybe you are, though?
It's OK that you are not comfortable with confrontation, but if he doesn't "get" the point of yu pulling away you might have t obe blunt. And you know what? it's OK to be... (read in full...)
Would going to the movies with an older male colleague be a mistake?
Q. Hi everyone, A few months ago, I moved to a new city for a new job. Most of my colleagues are a lot older than I am, and I am basically the 'new' blood being brought in to compensate for those who are going to retire soon. Anyway, I'm new to t...
A. 13 September 2016: I think he has noticed that you are pulling away and that is why he is now "stalking" you or latching on to you. He doesn't feel confident that you are so easy to manipulate as he had first thought. So you ARE on the right track.
You might no... (read in full...)
Would going to the movies with an older male colleague be a mistake?
Q. Hi everyone, A few months ago, I moved to a new city for a new job. Most of my colleagues are a lot older than I am, and I am basically the 'new' blood being brought in to compensate for those who are going to retire soon. Anyway, I'm new to t...
A. 10 September 2016: Hey, if it helps to talk it through with all of us here at DC, go for it! Having a sounding board is good.
But take the advice given to heart, consider it and If you find that it FEELS right, USE it.
YOU do not OWE him squat. Yes, you work to... (read in full...)
Would going to the movies with an older male colleague be a mistake?
Q. Hi everyone, A few months ago, I moved to a new city for a new job. Most of my colleagues are a lot older than I am, and I am basically the 'new' blood being brought in to compensate for those who are going to retire soon. Anyway, I'm new to t...
A. 9 September 2016: I agree, STAY clear of him.
If he suggests another outing tell him no thanks, that you PREFER to keep it professional and also DO NOT share any more tidbits about your life or past other that the little casual things people will share with a s... (read in full...)
Would going to the movies with an older male colleague be a mistake?
Q. Hi everyone, A few months ago, I moved to a new city for a new job. Most of my colleagues are a lot older than I am, and I am basically the 'new' blood being brought in to compensate for those who are going to retire soon. Anyway, I'm new to t...
A. 25 August 2016: I'd go. But I would keep conversation to work/casual, nothing about your love life (none of his business).
If he starts talking about problems with his wife, the whole my wife doesn't understand me or other bull crap to try and make you feel sor... (read in full...)
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