How do I help him through this rough patch?
Q. My boyfriend of a year is amazing but has been on edge lately. He's been upset with work recently and has been vocalizing this angrily while playing computer video games. He usually rarely plays. I understand he needs to release but I'm also a bit ...
A. 22 April 2017: You shouldn't HAVE to "handle" the noise the yelling and verbal aggression. Yes, it MAY not be directed at you (at the moment but he has already LAID a hand on you, which in MY book would have been the END of it. Someone verbally abusing me is just ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to tell someone who has depression that you can't be there for then anymore if they don't want to help the self?
Q. Is it wrong to tell someone who has depression that you can't be there for then anymore if they don't want to help the self? My boyfriend has depression which is not diagnosed but I've had it previously and know he does now. I've done everything I ...
A. 22 April 2017: Nothing wrong in deciding this is not what you want anymore.
There is only so much you can do for others when it comes to mental health and those things you have tried and it didn't work out.
Living with a husband with PTSD I know how hard it... (read in full...)
Should I be unfriendly and block my ex on facebook?
Q. Am no longer in a relationship but remain on FB as friends. The man private messages me with casual conversation frequently but doesn't openly address my posts/pictures. He recently asked me if he should accept a friend request from a superior at ...
A. 22 April 2017: Eh, why not just take the trash out?
With that I mean he isn't exactly a FRIEND to you so IS there a point in keeping him around on FB?
Block and unfriend and have a deep sigh of relief.
... (read in full...)
Why 25 later after an affair with my wife does this ex friend want to get together?
Q. My wife had a intense two year long affair with a single friend of ours back 25 years ago...we had tried a threesome with him,after a nite of drinking, and I found out rather quickly that I wasnt into it, but as it worked out my wife and this other ...
A. 22 April 2017: I agree with Auntie BimBim,
Don't care what HIS motives are, either you WANT to meet up with him or you don't. If you don't just delete/block contact info and move on.
I wouldn't trust this guy any further than I could toss him, not even af... (read in full...)
How do I speak to a co-worker about an incident that caused much drama at work?
Q. Great site....level headed advice. I work in a high school in a pretty volatile classroom. I am slated to work in two schools and about two months ago now some drama broke out in one of the sites when I was at the other one. The situation did no...
A. 21 April 2017: I agree with WiseOwlE,
Focus on what's important - YOUR job and YOUR students.
I get that she want you to be as angry at these guys as she is, but the thing is it's not YOUR business or JOB to do so. To be honest it sounds like she is in a job ... (read in full...)
Why do girls do things that make them unapproachable and rude?
Q. Why do girls always have to be glued to each other or have their noses in their phones or in a book? Don't they realize that makes them unapproachable and that it's just plain rude? Also, they do the same things on dates too and act rudely just to ...
A. 21 April 2017: Your issue is not the girls, it's your own lack of understanding common social behaviors.
When I was your age, I would ALWAYS bring a book/walkman (yes, I'm that old) with me on the train/bus/doctor's office or coffee shop (while waiting for frie... (read in full...)
Do I call this married man?
Q. I'm 23, and I am dating a married man, who is 35, for 8 weeks now. We haven't had sex yet, but we've been kissing, making out and stuff. However, he used to call me whenever he was free. But now, all he says after making out is "Call me!" Last time, ...
A. 20 April 2017: You can stay away and you CAN block his number. You just enjoy the drama too much not to.
What about his wife? His family? You think all this "fun" you are having is good for them? That it's OK? While YOU are not the one cheating on the wife - h... (read in full...)
Should I ask out my instructor?
Q. Should I ask out my instructor after I graduate? I really like one of my lecturers, he is really cute and nice, and obviously very smart. I've gone to his office a few times, and during one of my visits he scooted his chair over really close to ...
A. 19 April 2017: 1. how much do you even know about him? Is he single? married?
2. while he might have found you attractive he hasn't acted on it. Why? Because it's his job that is at stake. He comes on to contact with LOADS of young cute girls like you.
... (read in full...)
Do I let him know I found him out?
Q. I've been with my bf for 2yrs now. He was sweetest, caring loving guy. I had couldn't ask for a more perfect bf. He started taking about us getting married and he got me a ring. I started doubting him cause I'd always dream of him cheating or ...
A. 19 April 2017: End it, dear OP - give him back the ring, end it and block all contact with him.
When you first caught this "oh so perfect?!" guy having dirty texts with other women you should have just left, but you didn't instead HE went on the attack and accu... (read in full...)
Do I call this married man?
Q. I'm 23, and I am dating a married man, who is 35, for 8 weeks now. We haven't had sex yet, but we've been kissing, making out and stuff. However, he used to call me whenever he was free. But now, all he says after making out is "Call me!" Last time, ...
A. 19 April 2017: Eh, why bother with this man?
1. he is married...
2. He is an ass...
Block his number and GO find yourself a nice single guy to date and make out with.... (read in full...)
Shall I tell them to stop setting me up?
Q. This happens to me constantly, and it always puts me in an awkward position. I am never interested in the guy they've chosen for me, and then I feel guilty a.) because I feel I'm disappointing the friend who is doing the setting up, and b.) I fe...
A. 19 April 2017: Oh goodness YES, tell them: "enough don't try and set me up, please!"
Be honest with your friends. Tell them you KNOW they mean well but they REALLY don't know what you ARE looking for or IF you are even looking at the moment and you feel it's unf... (read in full...)
He misunderstood what I was trying to say and ended things
Q. Dear everyone Dating has never been an easy option for me, I always tend to push men away from me, the last man I had feelings for I told him we have a week left to spend together , he got frustrated and started accausing me of things that aren't a...
A. 19 April 2017: Let him go and work on yourself.
If you can't "help" yourself pushing people away you need to work on that, you will end up with a long string of miserable semi-relationships.
As for him to accuse you of seeing someone else, well it's neithe... (read in full...)
I'm attractive but never approached by men. Do other women have this problem?
Q. I am 22 and I am never approached by men. I live in America where men are notorious for approaching women. Yet, strangers tell me that I am beautiful/pretty. I talked to a guy and he assumed I had a bf, when I said no, he was in shock. He said I was ...
A. 19 April 2017: It's impossible to guess why. Can be your demeanor, body language that keeps people/guys from approaching you. When you are out and about do you mind your own business? Are you talking to strangers? Smiling? Polite?
The fact that "ugly" girls ca... (read in full...)
When I try to talk to my girlfriend about her flaws it always turns into an argument
Q. Okay so i have a girlfriend and i love her to bits but sometimes she can doing very annoying things, but whenever i bring them up she acts like its a massive problem and it always turns into an argument....
A. 19 April 2017: So what are her flaws?
Do YOU have any flaws that you would LIKE for her to discuss?
Some people don't like to be criticized by the people who claim to love them and some don't like "constructive" criticism either - I think it comes down to HO... (read in full...)
I thought he liked me back but apparently he's "in a relationship" , which I saw on Facebook today. I feel like such an idiot now!
Q. I met a guy a month ago through mutual friends and he kept liking all my FB photos and statuses. I have been on Facebook today and it now says he 'is in a relationship'. I feel a bit of a mug as I was hoping to get to know him more. I know it's ...
A. 18 April 2017: Hide his feeds or just stop checking out HIS Facebook.
It doesn't make you a MUG to think that he could have been interested, but it WOULD make you a mug if you actually give a flying fart about "being rude" to this guy. YOU barely know him (if ... (read in full...)
He pressured me for sex, even started undressing me. But disappeared when I revealed my status as a virgin!
Q. I went for a few dates with a guy. He was very insitent about sex but everytime I refused him he was ok and still wanted more dates with me. He tried to get me at his place after our very first date and at our second too, but i refused. However we ...
A. 18 April 2017: OP I'm sorry you HAD to go through this AT ALL.
The guy is a DICK a DOUCHY DICK.
He didn't WANT to get to know you and date you, he wanted SEX. And he was willing to disregard you telling him NO.
BLOCK him, sweetie, he is NOT the guy for yo... (read in full...)
Is my ex girlfriend crazy and a hypocrite?
Q. My ex girlfriend broke up with me a few days ago. Literally the day after my bday actually. On my actual bday she was giving me the cold shoulder all day. She was more concerned with watching shows on her laptop then spending time with me. We were ...
A. 16 April 2017: Eh, you were only together for two months so I'd just block her and move on.
2 months into a relationship shouldn't be this ... stressful.
You, OP dodged a bullet.
... (read in full...)
I believe I am the one for him. Is his staring at me significant? He likes this other girl who doesn't like him back.
Q. In school I really like this boy who is my best friend's ex. He always stares at me and told my friend I was pretty but he likes this other girl who doesn't like him back. I really want to talk to him and make him realize that I am the one for him....
A. 15 April 2017: I think you should stick to "girl Code" of NOT going after a BEST friend's ex.
Besides HE likes someone else.
You might think YOU are the one for him, he doesn't seem to feel the same way and THAT is not something you can change.
Is yo... (read in full...)
Can a relationship survive if there is no intellectual compatibility at all?
Q. So I've been with my boyfriend for 7 months now, going on 8. It was really good in the beginning but now it feels like things changed, at least for me. He's one year younger than I am, and that didn't seem like a problem at first because I th...
A. 15 April 2017: No, it's not.
I had a BF (my second one) who was a gorgeous person inside out but we just didn't share anything besides music and movies in common. Intellectually we just weren't compatible. We did remain friends afterward.
We lasted a good 9'... (read in full...)
Husband comes home drunk with his underwear inside out and stained. Is he cheating?
Q. Yesterday my husband came late from work again. This time it was far worst than the last time ... He works at a restaurant , he is a waiter. Three weeks ago he came home 6 hours later after leaving the workplace, He doesn't use a cellphone since he ...
A. 15 April 2017: Sounds like a toxic relationship going on.
Could he be cheating? Sure.
But for YOU to inspect his boxers? WTF? What does that prove? That he MUST be cheating because they are inside out? Heck, I have done that more than once especially when ... (read in full...)
I have my ex husband's last name. My current boyfriend wants me to change back to my maiden name. Should I?
Q. My boyfriend does not like that I have kept the surname of my ex husband. It is just easier as my child's last name would be the same as mine. My boyfriend said it does not matter if my child's last name is different from his mother. I ...
A. 15 April 2017: Why should you? He is JUST your BF. Now if he wants you to change it, he can offer you HIS name and well, that would mean marriage....
Not for him to decide.
I took my husband's name because it made sense. My brother took his wife's name beca... (read in full...)
How do guys cope with knowing their Gf's ex was well endowed? Do girls miss it and just settle ?
Q. Hello all, I have always struggled with intimate things as I would be worried about if my partner had been with very well endowed men. I know that statistically most guys will have to deal with that. But how do they? It always seems like...
A. 15 April 2017: If she WANTED the bigger dick she would have SETTLED for the guy attached to that BIGGER dick.
For some women, no doubt the size matters. For others, it REALLY doesn't. What DOES matter is that regardless of size the GUY at the END of the dick kno... (read in full...)
I love my husband but don't know how long I can keep carrying everything on my back!
Q. Not sure if this is really a question or just needing to vent but I could use some advice. I'm just feeling very worthless in my marriage. I feel like he's always mad at me and my kids and nothing we do is ever good enough. Like I go shopping after ...
A. 15 April 2017: I think most of the anger he vents in your direction is actually really about himself. HE feels useless. Because he kind of IS useless and you have ENABLED him to not participate to a bigger degree, HE has taken FULL advantage of it.
BUT he IS un... (read in full...)
Am I selfish and bad to be feeling so disappointed that he reneged on his original decision to aim to propose to me soon?
Q. My boyfriend and I have talked about getting married for a while, and a few months back he told me when he'd hope to propose. I was getting very excited. That time-frame hasn't happened yet, however now he is saying he simply cannot afford the ring...
A. 14 April 2017: I wonder too why the disappointment? You can make PLANS for many things but life is not always a straight line from A to Z.
IS the disappointment more because you feel like this "excuse" (can't afford the ring HE wants you to have) or because ... (read in full...)
Do you think this guy at school might have feelings for me?
Q. I like this boy who dated my best friend. We don't talk at all, but my friends send him pictures of us and one day my friend sent a picture of us to him. She asks if he thinks I'm pretty and he responds yeah. He always looks at me at schoo...
A. 14 April 2017: Does it matter? He is your BEST friend's ex?
If he had called you ugly that would have been rude, and if you ARE a pretty girl then, of course, he will say so. Has nothing to do with whether he likes you or not.
You don't even talk to each oth... (read in full...)
Why is it a sought after fantasy, that satisfies so many men, to want to watch women hurt and degraded during a porn film?
Q. With the proliferation and popularity these days of extreme hardcore porn much of which depicts violence towards women , do men still see women as worthwhile individuals or are we just sexual objects for their gratification? Although I understand p...
A. 14 April 2017: I second, YouWish's suggest about
https://yourbrainonporn.com/
Read that.
It's pretty informative about how porn affects the brain.
I don't think that degrading women (or men) in porn means that every man who watches it WANTS to degrade ... (read in full...)
Was sending that message to my BF the best option? Or did I just stoke the fire more?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 months and have been friends for years before that. One thing I know about him is that when he gets upset he doesn't want to talk right away so when I know he's upset I'll just leave him alone until he's ...
A. 14 April 2017: Honestly? Soldiers being antsy RIGHT before a deployment is common. For them to have reactions that seem WAY over the top is also a bit "normal" after all, everyone is on high alert, rumors about cheating partners, barracks stories etc. Doesn't mean ... (read in full...)
Mixed signals in a FWB
Q. Currently in a 4 month fwb with a guy who has been divorced twice. We are both in our 50's age wise. I originally agreed to this fwb, because I am in the process of moving to his town (decision to move to that town was made before I met my FWB)and ...
A. 14 April 2017: There aren't any "set in stone" rules for how people do FWB. I have seen people do FWB and act like a married couple and some that act like f-buddies who occasionally text/call just enough so it's not awkward when meeting up for sex.
The thing is... (read in full...)
My unidentified online friend has reappeared on line. It is him. Should I reveal who I am to him?
Q. Hi I have a difficult situation. A year ago I met a guy online. All was good but then he stopped texting. Last month we matched on a different website. Neither of us have a photo up. From what he has told me I know this guy is the one who I m...
A. 13 April 2017: I agree with N91 as well, tell him who you are - and I'm sure he will pull a Houdini on you and "vanish" again. Which would be a good thing as he ALREADY a YEAR ago wasted your time.
It's not like he fell off the Planet a year ago and couldn't... (read in full...)
When is it ok to have "the talk" or expect to be exclusive ?
Q. Hi all .. How soon is too soon to expect a guy to commit when it's a long distance relationship? You know us women are always being told not to "scare" me away by putting too much pressure on them. I've been dating a man long distance since N...
A. 13 April 2017: I agree with Cindy, I wouldn't just back off, I'd cut things totally off, block, delete and move on.
No wonder he was so vague about this woman. In a way, I'm actually amazed he even mentioned HER to you. She could have stayed there and you woul... (read in full...)
How do I play it on our third date?
Q. Hey guys, I need some advice.. I met a girl on a dating site about 3 weeks ago or so, (she's 32 and I'm 36), after messaging abit, we exchanged numbers, spoke on the phone and arranged a coffee date. That went well and a week later, we went on a ...
A. 12 April 2017: Are you cooking together at hers or yours?
I'd personally, let her take charge but start the date with a hug when you see her. TOUCH is important and it SHOWS interest and physical attraction.
By leading with a hug when you see her, she will kn... (read in full...)
Why am I thinking about someone else who is not my husband, why I feel irrational and risky?
Q. I'm 30 year old, married and I have 2 beautiful children. I've married my husband 5 years ago, I always loved him but never really fell in love with him (movie style) I actually didn't think those feelings truly exist and love is how you treat pe...
A. 12 April 2017: You feel like your marriage is lacking something thus a random dude who is NOTHING like your husband makes you excited.
My advice? Being married doesn't mean you STOP noticing attractive people, interesting people, sexy people, whatever people. ... (read in full...)
How late is too late to start dating in the modern world?
Q. How late is too late for guys to enter the dating game and start looking for a relationship. 25? 30? 35? I mean, to really just START! Never been on a date before, and so on and so on. This could all be due to many combination of reasons: ...
A. 12 April 2017: Well said, Brown Wolf.
I don't really think there IS a cut-off date or "sell by date" where your chances for dating has expired.
It MIGHT be a little harder given that you have little to no experience in dating but there ARE women who are in... (read in full...)
Trying to avoid attending a work function. What are some good excuses I could use?
Q. I've been asked to go to a work meeting that I really want to avoid. The meeting is a 3 hour train ride from where I live so I would have to leave very early and get home late. I don't have any children or pets that I can use as an excuse. Are ther...
A. 12 April 2017: Socializing and networking are expected in certain jobs and unless the work environment is hostile and THAT is why you really want to go, I say go... Get it over with. Who knows you might actually enjoy it.
I'm an introvert for the most part an... (read in full...)
Is it possible for a man to have a friend with benefits he isn't attracted to?
Q. I met a fellow on a dating site a few months ago with the mutually-agreed-on purpose of only having sex. Since then, we've continued to hook up, but it's been happening less and less - from several times a week to once every 1-2 weeks - although he ...
A. 12 April 2017: I agree with Chigirl,
"I would say that yes, he's not attracted to you as a whole, BUT he is physically attracted to you."
You are "hot" enough to have sex with but perhaps not someone he wants to date - which works out as YOU are only looking... (read in full...)
What do women look for in a man for a boyfriend?
Q. What do women really look for in a man for a boyfriend?...
A. 11 April 2017: It depends on the woman, doesn't it?
I seriously doubt we ALL have the same standards and "wishes" when it comes to partners.
And the "wish list" change as we grow, learn and mature.
Sometimes we don't even KNOW what we want till we meet som... (read in full...)
My Gf is 14 and I'm 17. Once I turn 18 and she turns 15 will it still be ok to date her? Can't find an answer anywhere
Q. Hello, I am currently in a relationship with an absolutely amazing girl for 4 months and we are going to the same school, and we live in Washington state but at the end of this school year she has to move to the other side of this same state but I ...
A. 11 April 2017: As long as you keep SEX out of the picture, SURE.
In Washington State, the age of consent for sex is 16 years old. At this age, a person can consent to sex with any adult, regardless of the age difference between them.
So UNTIL she turns ... (read in full...)
Online guy just vanished into thin air! How do I get over this when there's been no closure?
Q. I am on this site where I post my poems and stories on. Back during the last week in October of 2016 I started talking to this guy through PM's. After a few weeks talking he confess to liking me. That was fine, I told him I didn't feel the same and ...
A. 11 April 2017: Something to make it easier for you to move on...
He dropped his "real life GF" for a woman he had only talked to online? How long do you think it would have been before he would have dumped YOU for someone else?
I think he SERIOUSLY is pla... (read in full...)
A women with a boyfriend/kids is texting my boyfriend and he texts back. I'm not happy about this!
Q. I am not sure whether to stay with my boyfriend. We have been together for two months. We had some arguments and i said that i didnt want to see him anymore. I only said that because i was angry that he eas being horrible to me. I told him that i ...
A. 11 April 2017: I agree with Anonymous 123. The woman might not have ANY MORE mental health issues at all. Even if she did it IS beside the point.
She is bored in her relationship and your "bf" provides attention and entertainment FOR her (and him) that is it.
... (read in full...)
Men, do you stare off have intense eye sex with women if you are not interested in them?
Q. Hello world! I'm writing to you men out there, or women who feel they can provide insight!! About a year ago I was entranced in a cafe by the most beautiful young man I have ever seen. Although that wasn't what entranced me: he was sittin...
A. 11 April 2017: Dear OP, get your head out of your softcore smut romances and ASK the guy out. You could suggest going for coffee and a chat.
He is looking at you, he started to talk to you - YES he is interested and definitely NOT shy. Could be he is just loo... (read in full...)
Online guy just vanished into thin air! How do I get over this when there's been no closure?
Q. I am on this site where I post my poems and stories on. Back during the last week in October of 2016 I started talking to this guy through PM's. After a few weeks talking he confess to liking me. That was fine, I told him I didn't feel the same and ...
A. 11 April 2017: You two still haven't met in person, right?
I think Chigirl COULD be right, that the GFR found out and he deleted his account to cover his tracks.
IF he has a partner or HAD a partner while declaring his "undying love for you" you should have ... (read in full...)
Mixed signals in a FWB
Q. Currently in a 4 month fwb with a guy who has been divorced twice. We are both in our 50's age wise. I originally agreed to this fwb, because I am in the process of moving to his town (decision to move to that town was made before I met my FWB)and ...
A. 10 April 2017: I think this FWB has run its course. He has told you EXACTLY what he wants from you (sex and company but on HIS terms) and that he suspect you are getting attached thus he is pushing you away with his attitude.
He doesn't want friendship from you... (read in full...)
When is it ok to have "the talk" or expect to be exclusive ?
Q. Hi all .. How soon is too soon to expect a guy to commit when it's a long distance relationship? You know us women are always being told not to "scare" me away by putting too much pressure on them. I've been dating a man long distance since N...
A. 8 April 2017: I agree with Fishdish, I'd tell him that you would like to make the relationship exclusive and I would not drag in the other woman who is "allegedly" a house guest for a wedding. She can be JUST an old friend who traveled far for the wedding and ... (read in full...)
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