Mixed signals in a FWB
Q. Currently in a 4 month fwb with a guy who has been divorced twice. We are both in our 50's age wise. I originally agreed to this fwb, because I am in the process of moving to his town (decision to move to that town was made before I met my FWB)and ...
A. 14 April 2017: There aren't any "set in stone" rules for how people do FWB. I have seen people do FWB and act like a married couple and some that act like f-buddies who occasionally text/call just enough so it's not awkward when meeting up for sex.
The thing is... (read in full...)
When is it ok to have "the talk" or expect to be exclusive ?
Q. Hi all .. How soon is too soon to expect a guy to commit when it's a long distance relationship? You know us women are always being told not to "scare" me away by putting too much pressure on them. I've been dating a man long distance since N...
A. 13 April 2017: I agree with Cindy, I wouldn't just back off, I'd cut things totally off, block, delete and move on.
No wonder he was so vague about this woman. In a way, I'm actually amazed he even mentioned HER to you. She could have stayed there and you woul... (read in full...)
Online guy just vanished into thin air! How do I get over this when there's been no closure?
Q. I am on this site where I post my poems and stories on. Back during the last week in October of 2016 I started talking to this guy through PM's. After a few weeks talking he confess to liking me. That was fine, I told him I didn't feel the same and ...
A. 11 April 2017: Something to make it easier for you to move on...
He dropped his "real life GF" for a woman he had only talked to online? How long do you think it would have been before he would have dumped YOU for someone else?
I think he SERIOUSLY is pla... (read in full...)
Online guy just vanished into thin air! How do I get over this when there's been no closure?
Q. I am on this site where I post my poems and stories on. Back during the last week in October of 2016 I started talking to this guy through PM's. After a few weeks talking he confess to liking me. That was fine, I told him I didn't feel the same and ...
A. 11 April 2017: You two still haven't met in person, right?
I think Chigirl COULD be right, that the GFR found out and he deleted his account to cover his tracks.
IF he has a partner or HAD a partner while declaring his "undying love for you" you should have ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend slept with married woman before we dated
Q. I found out through old messages that my bf slept with a married woman before. It bothers me because I believe marriage is sacred. Also I never would have thought that my bf would do something like that. But in the messages he told his friend that ...
A. 10 April 2017: I understand your dilemma to be honest as it shows a LACK of conscience and/or morals to not only sleep with a married person but to initiate and pursue it.
The thing is, you REALLY don't know the whole story. He might EASILY have embellis... (read in full...)
Is it time to end this relationship? 2
Q. Hi hope someone can help. I've been with my fiance for over 3 years now lately my feelings for him have changed due to him almost cheating on me. He went to the pub with his mates and I was meeting him later in the same pub. I walked in and caught...
A. 10 April 2017: You DO know that getting married will NOT change who he is, right? He will continue to ogle other women and try and get numbers...
Seems like his attention is elsewhere. Maybe on purpose? To upset you enough to break it off?
Either way, I... (read in full...)
Mixed signals in a FWB
Q. Currently in a 4 month fwb with a guy who has been divorced twice. We are both in our 50's age wise. I originally agreed to this fwb, because I am in the process of moving to his town (decision to move to that town was made before I met my FWB)and ...
A. 10 April 2017: I think this FWB has run its course. He has told you EXACTLY what he wants from you (sex and company but on HIS terms) and that he suspect you are getting attached thus he is pushing you away with his attitude.
He doesn't want friendship from you... (read in full...)
Does my brother's friend likes me? 2
Q. That day,my brother was messaging to his friend. Suddenly he said playfully that he wants me and his friend to date.Its very rare for my brother to say such thing.Did his friend said anything about me?Once,I gifted shoes for my brother and his frie...
A. 10 April 2017: If he changed his profile from public to private AFTER you messaged him, I'd say either he is NOT all that interested OR he has stuff on Instagram he doesn't want you to see... AS in another girl?
From what you write it doesn't sound like he has t... (read in full...)
Boyfriend likes to ejaculate on my boobs and face and he finds this "adorable". Is this normal guy behavior?
Q. Ok I need some other perspectives on this. My boyfriend is just my second sexual partner, so I'm not sure what to make of this. He's also 11 years older and way more experienced. Anyway, he's really good in bed compared to my first boyfriend. He ...
A. 10 April 2017: Personally, I don't think it's adorable... but I don't think it's uncommon either.
What it really comes down to like Auntie Chigirl and Cindy suggests, is whether YOU enjoy it or not.
Some don't mind, some like it, and some don't.
Ai if ... (read in full...)
I'm a teen and I'm feeling insecure about the size of my penis. Am I normal, in size?
Q. Hey guys. I'm 15. First question - is my dick size good. It's around 6.7-6.8in. or so in length fully erect. I'm that's a good size, yet I still constantly feel like it's small. It could be the girth. I have a problem with. I don't really have a ...
A. 9 April 2017: You are a "grower". (urban dictionary talk here) and YES it's not uncommon that a flaccid penis looks small. Take a look at a stallion. You won't see a HUGE slong hanging about till he is getting aroused and even then it's nothing compared to a ... (read in full...)
I'm concerned about my sister's alarming weight gain. How do I gently let her know that I'm worried for her health?
Q. Dear aunts. I'm after some advice because I'm seriously concerned about my sister. She met a guy two years ago and seems to be in a happy relationship but she has put on so much wait she is unrecognisable and seems unwell. I'm really glad she'...
A. 9 April 2017: You could be honest with her and she would most likely NOT want to hear that.
Or you could suggest SHE helps YOU met YOUR fitness goals. That you need a "workout" buddy. Someone to get you off the couch. Now while YOU and I know you are ACTUALLY... (read in full...)
My boyfriend left me at my lowest!
Q. My boyfriend, now ex-boyfriend, and I were in a relationship for 4 years until we recently broke up about a week ago. Just a year ago our relationship turned long-distance when he moved six states away. I had no money to move with him so I had to s...
A. 9 April 2017: I think you need to accept that the relationship has run its course.
You trying to manipulate him emotionally with the whole "I don't want to live anymore spiel" is honestly downright CRUEL of you. There was nothing really HE could do to fix thin... (read in full...)
Is this a normal reaction to porn?
Q. I'm a guy who rarely watches hardcore porn but I do like female forms, so will sometimes watch very simple videos of a girl removing clothes or posing nude. I've been noticing that in some cases, with just the "right" (to my mind) face and body ...
A. 9 April 2017: Sexually objectifying women? I think (even if it isn't politically or morally correct) it's pretty common. And yes, women do it too.
Does it mean you are somehow extra sensitive and creative... no.
It just means you are a horny person who prefe... (read in full...)
I can't seem to get over the fact that my ex didn't want commitment with me but has found it with someone else
Q. I'm having trouble getting over my ex bf. Its been 7 months since we've seen each other, and its not getting any easier for me. We were on and off for about 6 years. He ended it always saying he wasn't ready to commit, but would always return to me. ...
A. 9 April 2017: You are still in "love" with the FANTASY of him and the FANTASY of what "could have been".
A 6-year relationship that has been ON/OFF honestly wasn't working. A good and healthy relationship isn't on/off - HE recognized that and finally ENDED it... (read in full...)
My car broke down but my boyfriend didn't believe me. Did I do anything wrong?
Q. Hi all, please I need an advice. I'm so confused and don't know what to do anymore. So I've been with my boyfriend for over a year now, we've always argued. I wish he was more affectionate, flirty and playful like me but he's not he's so serious ...
A. 9 April 2017: Honey, TAKE his words: "I've made up my mind is done" serious and STOP talking to him. BLOCK his number, remove him from social media etc. and consider yourself SINGLE again.
He sounds like a BAD match for you. You want him to BE more like you... (read in full...)
I fancy a guy at my gym but he seems immature. Should I keep flirting with him or not?
Q. I go to the gym regularly and there's this guy I always see in the weights section, usually with his friends. He's very cute in my opinion and I often see him smiling at me or checking me out. I'm not sure if I should encourage him more because he ...
A. 9 April 2017: He seems a bit conceited, to be honest. So really up to you.
If you are having fun with flirting and not being overtly interested then HAVE your fun with it. IT IS possible to flirt and mean nothing by it. In this case, it's a matter of giving a... (read in full...)
I'd like to make teacher appreciation cards but I don't know if it's a good idea
Q. This is a question for all teachers seeing this: are teacher appreciation day cards a good idea? I go to an international school in Europe and have excellent teachers who work really hard to teach us students beyond what is required by the ...
A. 9 April 2017: I think it's a VERY nice thing to do. My kids (16, 14 and 12) STILL do this. EVERY year. And not prompted by me. We usually add a $25 Starbucks gift card with it. NOY that they NEED that, but that is MY (as a parent) appreciation.
If you WANT to ... (read in full...)
Why wouldn't he want an emotional attachment? I feel discarded, by him.
Q. Ive been seeing this guy for over a year and it has been a FWB situation due to our inability be together because of our jobs and his current relationship. (long story about that ) We deployed to 2 different locations in which he kept in contact ...
A. 9 April 2017: Don't LET him control your actions, I know it's harder said than done.
It's a GOOD thing you are transferring soon, it will give you a new start AWAY from him and I SINCERELY suggest that you BLOCK him in EVERY way once you PCS.
JUSt IGNORE h... (read in full...)
Was I justified in breaking up ?Should I seek professional counselling over my depression?
Q. Aunts, I've had a break up 12 days ago. It was a relationship of 10 years. I've never seen this coming honestly. Things were not working out between us, we have changed as people (he was not giving me space, interfering on my job choices and comm...
A. 9 April 2017: Breaking up after ANY lengthy relationship is BOUND to hurt. That is natural. And most people DO second guess themselves after a break up because they haven't really gone through the motions of grieving the end of a relationship and then moving ... (read in full...)
I thought everything was OK. But ? I didn't do anything wrong, did I?
Q. I've recently moved house after breaking up with my ex boyfriend. I thought it was perfect, lovely little house well within my means and close to the town centre of where I live. I moved in and found that I was living next to a recently div...
A. 9 April 2017: I didn't do anything wrong, did I?
Um, yes OP you told him to keep it down. THAT gave him AMMO to NOT keeping it down.
You decided that casual sex was nothing something you wanted and he got his boxers in a bunch even though he ALREADY had a GF... (read in full...)
I want to confront this guy. Should I do this? Or should I just let sleeping dogs lie?
Q. I have been with my wife approaching 14 years now and married for three. Four years ago my wife confessed to me that she had kissed another man that delivers to her work. She said she felt terrible about it immediately after, she quit her job and...
A. 9 April 2017: I also agree with WiseOwlE
Nothing GOOD or PRODUCTIVE can come of contacting this fella.
Sure he lied to your wife (and probably to his own as well) it's NOT really THAT surprising that SOME guys will say ANYTHING to get in a woman they fancy... (read in full...)
Why show the picture, to show me she looked like that porn star?
Q. Why would my guy show me a picture of a porn star and say, "before I knew you, a woman who looked exactly like this asked me out" ? Is he trying to make me feel insecure or point out that, "hey look I can get a woman sexier than you" ? What's hi...
A. 9 April 2017: LMAO!
I'd go on the internet and find the HOTTEST guy with the BIGGEST dick and show that to this guy and say... Well, THIS is what I had before you... And then I would DUMP him.
I'm ABSOLUTELY with YouWish here!
What an insecure litt... (read in full...)
I know our arrangement isn't right for me in the long run. Should I break things off even though we've made plans together?
Q. I've been seeing this guy for about 6 months and its has gotten quite serious saying he loves me etc. He is 20 years older than me and married. We were talking for a while before hand and being flirtatious and we've had a couple of nights alone. He ...
A. 9 April 2017: Just break it off.
He will be OK - a guy who is SO willingly cheating on his wife is going to be JUST fine. He will find another naive young woman to have sex with and an affair with.
Don't worry about the "plans" next month. The sooner you b... (read in full...)
Can intercourse make a woman tighter?
Q. Ok my wife is usually is avrage tigjt like not too tight but no loose. We has sex this morning and she was tight. She has cheated in the past amd she a lier for sure. If u have sex with someone can it cause ur vigina to be tighter ...
A. 9 April 2017: Nope. Sex can't make it "loose" or "tight"
HORMONES can change the "tightness" and "wetness" so a vagina actually changes a bit over the course of a woman's cycle. Kegel exercises can keep the vagina "fit" as well.
But sex or INSERTION of a p... (read in full...)
Why wouldn't he want an emotional attachment? I feel discarded, by him.
Q. Ive been seeing this guy for over a year and it has been a FWB situation due to our inability be together because of our jobs and his current relationship. (long story about that ) We deployed to 2 different locations in which he kept in contact ...
A. 9 April 2017: am I wrong to feel rejected and discarded?
You feel what YOU feel. And the REASON you feel rejected and discarded is because he DID reject you and he DID discard you. Here is the thing though - HE s already in a relationship with someone else... (read in full...)
How should I start the conversation with the baby's father?
Q. The baby's father and I only knew each other 3 months prior to me getting pregnant. I am currently 29 weeks. He was 100% aware of the possiblity of me getting pregnant and we had even talked about it. He had said he wanted to have a kid with me ...
A. 9 April 2017: Sorry, OP
You can't MAKE a guy want to be a decent father or to have contact with you or the child.
YOU can, however, FILE for child support after the child is born and he will have to fulfill the FINANCIAL obligation. And you SHOULD file for ... (read in full...)
I don't seem to have much luck with dating. Should I message him one more time?
Q. I'm quite unsuccessful in the dating game. I havent had much experience . Over a year ago i tried online dating and i got chatting with a lovely man and we met up had a great date . We agreed to meet up again but didnt exchange numbers and his memb...
A. 9 April 2017: Don't be so desperate and inconsistent. You are WAY overthinking all this.
So WHAT if you made an ass of yourself? EVERYONE is nervous when meeting new people and when on dates - if he CAN'T handle that... What CAN he handle? And do you really t... (read in full...)
In love with my online friend but my parents want me to marry my childhood friend!
Q. Hi there! I started to fall in love with a guy who is totally opposite of my dream guy. I found him in online. In short period of time I realized I love him. I don't know how to tell him. I'm scared that it might spoil my friendship. At the same ...
A. 8 April 2017: I agree fully with FA,
The online guy is a crush and a fantasy. You can feel infatuated with someone you have never met - it's not really that hard - heck he could be a fictional character and still be someone a person could "fall for".
You don... (read in full...)
He wants to take me as his second wife but my mother doesn't approve
Q. my name is mathapelo and im inlove with a married man and now he wants take me as a second wife and he has proofed himself to me he cant live without me in his lfe but my mom doesnt approves what do i do because i we really love each other pls help...
A. 8 April 2017: I agree with Cindy.
It is HARD to give you useful advice on this as the cultural barrier is BIG on this subject.
I do have SOME thoughts on your question:
1. IF you really think being wife #2 is something you want to do, have you then met... (read in full...)
When is it ok to have "the talk" or expect to be exclusive ?
Q. Hi all .. How soon is too soon to expect a guy to commit when it's a long distance relationship? You know us women are always being told not to "scare" me away by putting too much pressure on them. I've been dating a man long distance since N...
A. 8 April 2017: I agree with Fishdish, I'd tell him that you would like to make the relationship exclusive and I would not drag in the other woman who is "allegedly" a house guest for a wedding. She can be JUST an old friend who traveled far for the wedding and ... (read in full...)
30 year age difference and she's starting to talk about having kids. I do not want to lose her but just can't go back to raising another family
Q. I am a single 54 year old man who has been dating a 24 year old woman now for the last 5 years. I was 49 and she was 19 when we met. It started as friends with benefits but now I am afraid she has gotten closer and started to say I love you. W...
A. 8 April 2017: Do the right thing and END it.
You have been selfish from the get go. This relationship was/is about you.
She has given you 5 YEARS of her YOUTH in hopes that YOU would want to BE her family and MAKE that family bigger. YOU should have been... (read in full...)
He says his HIV is undetectable and he's on medication. Is it ok to sleep with him?
Q. So I've met this guy who is HIV undetectable and he says it's safe to have unprotected sex cause the hiv is not transmitable cause of medication. I don't really know much about undetectable HIV can I get some info...
A. 8 April 2017: Why unprotected? WHY on EARTH risk it?
He is a LOT less likely to give you HIV if the numbers are so low they are "undetectable" but unless you have a GOOD talk with your doctor or A doctor I think you should NOT play Russian Roulette with you... (read in full...)
Do I message him or leave him alone?
Q. ive been out of the dating game a while and i recently went on a date with a guy i met over a year ago he didnt seem his usual self . we arranged to meet again and he was going to let me know its been over a week he did say he hadnt been well it was ...
A. 7 April 2017: You know? I think I would just let the notion of this guy go.
You might have misplaced HIs number but the likelihood that he has done the same? It's kind of low.
If you are looking for a man to date don't dip in the past for one.
... (read in full...)
My friend is controlling and copies everything I do. Is it kinder to end the friendship than to feel resentful of this?
Q. I have a female friend who is very controlling and the more I try to gain space and step back the worse it gets. I have tried really hard not to end the friendship as I know she is lonely but I am beginning to feel actually frightened by her ...
A. 7 April 2017: Definitely, END it.
A good friendship should make both people feel great and supported by the relationship. You feel drained and you get NOTHING in return. So really IS it a friendship or are you JUST allowing her to manipulate you into giving h... (read in full...)
What should I tell her? I don't want to meet all her family and friends just yet
Q. Girlfriend already wants me to meet all her family members (uncles, aunts, cousins, grand parents, etc)? We're dating for only 3 months and she wants me to drive 150 miles to a small town with her to meet the rest of her family. I don't want to go...
A. 7 April 2017: Be honest?
Just tell her that you like where the relationship is going and getting to know her but meeting her family is too soon for you.
Also talk about a timeline for WHEN you DO think meeting them would be OK.... (read in full...)
Married man gave me his phone number!
Q. I'm a blogger and I'm trying to get an interview with this married guy I'm semi-acquainted with on social media (I'm married too). We follow each other and we have never spoken until a few days ago when I asked him if he would be interested in ...
A. 7 April 2017: You can always THANK him for giving you the number but explain that you intend on conducting everything over the PM service and email.
I don't think he gave you the number because he has "ill intent" - personally, I think it kind of makes sense th... (read in full...)
My husband wants us to stays friends with the woman he cheated with!
Q. My husband cheated on me years ago. He hid it and never told me. When I found out he lied and said it was before we met and I should have asked him about her. But it wasn't. So he lied about his lie. He kept her as part of our friendship circle, but ...
A. 7 April 2017: I agree with FA, time to see a lawyer.
I find it amazing how your husband ACTUALLY seems to think it's YOUR fault! What kind of MESSED up logic is that?
The family as a whole will not suffer anymore from a divorce than they do from you living ... (read in full...)
My Bf is annoying me with his alarm setting each day. How can I get him to stop this?
Q. my bf drives me crazy with his alarms in the morning - he sets them 40 minutes before i wake up for work on two different devices - each device goes off once every minute for forty minutes so 80 annoying alarms!!! i wake up in a bad mood as i have...
A. 7 April 2017: Does he GET UP when they go off? Or does he let them go off for several snoozes?
If so does he set them on the weekend? If not set YOURS really early a few weekends RIGHT next to him, see how he likes them apples.
My husband USED to like set... (read in full...)
Coping strategies would be appreciated for bad office situation!
Q. Not a relationship problem but hoped you guys could give me a bit of advice. I work in a small company of just over 20 staff, most of us working in a large open plan office. One of the women, who is in her 30s, has taken to wearing short SH...
A. 6 April 2017: I fully agree with YouWish.
You have TOLD her what you think of her attire, SHE is aware and for whatever reason, she doesn't GIVE two figs about how she is representing herself to her coworkers and anyone who visits the company.
You informed ... (read in full...)
Is the breakup real this time?
Q. Is this a real break-up or a stalemate? I have been in a relationship for 6 years with a woman that I'm inexplicably just drawn to. I love her and I believe we have always had a mutual attraction. We've been content not getting married until ki...
A. 6 April 2017: Keep working on you. While I DO think couples therapy could help the pair of you, you can ONLY "fix" your own issues. You can not "fix" hers.
I'd give her a few days to think on things as you should as well.
It's great that she misses you but i... (read in full...)
Is there something between us that could mean something?
Q. Hello seeking a little advise.. We meet six months ago via internet finally met in person with our children spent a week together. Because of the kids we kept our distance neither one of us telling of our feelings. I've hinted that I'm interested ...
A. 6 April 2017: WAY WAY too soon to include the kids in this courtship. Seriously. So you "talked" for 6 months online... THAT doesn't mean you know each other. It is not always easy to see the REAL person in written stuff whereas in person? You can get a much ... (read in full...)
Do I stand a chance of things working out for us?
Q. Dear agony aunts and uncles, Can you give me some advice? I'd appreciate any thoughts on this. I have been seeing a great girl for about 4 months. She and I have had a passionate and very lovely time together, I would say we were a great team i...
A. 6 April 2017: I think your issue is, that You are not listening.
When someone says:" I DON'T want a relationship" - that is what they mean. It doesn't mean:"I will have one if you just keep loving me and pursuing me."
And I agree with Auntie Cindy and Chigir... (read in full...)
Is the breakup real this time?
Q. Is this a real break-up or a stalemate? I have been in a relationship for 6 years with a woman that I'm inexplicably just drawn to. I love her and I believe we have always had a mutual attraction. We've been content not getting married until ki...
A. 6 April 2017: You know, it does sound toxic.
I think the pattern you two have had of HER claiming she wants to end it and YOU jumping into "saving" it - is a pattern but it isn't actually fixing anything. You two keep having fights that LEAD to her not wanting ... (read in full...)
I prefer staying home to attending his family gatherings! Is this going to be a problem?
Q. Dear all, I am married to a wonderful guy and yet I've always been a bit of a loner. We always joke that we love being loners together. He comes from a large happy family and they meet every now and then for a huge meal. I have no issues with his ...
A. 6 April 2017: I totally understand where you are coming from but you should SUCK it up and go. You will have PLENTY of days where you can putter around at home alone.
And eating a salad while they eat greasy foods is OK. You could even bring your own food if ... (read in full...)
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