Unhappy in my relationship and I'm attracted to my friend but he's got a girlfriend.
Q. Hello dearcupid, I am a 24 year old woman, currently in a monogamous relationship with my boyfriend--let's call him K. We have been together for over five years, and a lot has changed during that time. He is about to turn 39, so there is an age ...
A. 3 May 2017: I agree with Denizen,
Do pursue your friend. HE has a partner. Instead, focus on your own relationship, decide (regardless if T's existence) if you WANT to continue with "K" or not.
My guess is that you have grown a lot of the 5 years you have... (read in full...)
We would love to have a child but I worry I am too old!
Q. Hello, My partner and I have been together for two years now and we have both been married before. We would like to have a child together but I am worried about my age. I have just turned 39 and I worry that is too old. My partner is 42 and he is ...
A. 3 May 2017: Go see your doctor.
And read up on Italy and fertility... :) They have a trend of "older" moms that is quite high and ... successful.
Chances are that you CAN have a higher risk pregnancy than someone younger but you might also have an absolute... (read in full...)
Confusedabout my feelings
Q. I apologise this is very long! Around 4 years ago i met this man online. We eventually met up and went for a meal, (i need to mention i was in a bad place back then and very insecure) he was a bit of a d***. He said i had bad table manners, asked if ...
A. 2 May 2017: OP?
What exactly do you need help with? Your REALLY bad common sense? your REALLY bad taste in men?
You say you are confused - what is there to be confused about? This guy KNOWS you are an EASY conquest. Someone he can treat like dirt and ST... (read in full...)
Am I being too demanding? His excuse is, ''yes, but just not yet.''
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for several years. We do not live together. He wants me to move in with him, but I won't, because his ex-wife still has a key, and he refuses to change the locks. I don't feel safe leaving my things in his house ...
A. 1 May 2017: Auntie YouWish raises a really good point.
ARE you sure that the divorce is actual FINAL? Or do you just have HIS word on that?
You know a $15 (ish) background check could confirm that...... (read in full...)
I'm now taller than my former boyfriend and feel uncomfortable about it!
Q. Hi I used to date a guy in school (we were young and it wasn't really serious.) He was taller than me back then and often teased me about being shorter than him. I didn't really mind because it was always meant jokingly. After 10th grade he we...
A. 1 May 2017: Why should you try and avoid him? It's not exactly your FAULT that you are now taller, that is down to genetics. And being a tall girl is NOT a bad thing at all.
He is your EX, try to NOT care what HE or ANYONE else thinks of your height. ... (read in full...)
We broke up because she's emotionally disturbed and would have sex with random people!
Q. So i started this new relationship about 3 months ago with a girl. Things went fast between us, but at times she was still emotionally disturbed and attached to her ex who was a complete ass to her. But she had 2 kids together with him, so it was ...
A. 1 May 2017: Cut the contact, OP
You can't fix her by being a "good" BF or person. She is, like she said, "disturbed". She was putting YOUR health and the kids' safety at risk with her behavior and she really doesn't care.
You two were ONLY an "item" f... (read in full...)
Advice on how women feel about orgasms please?
Q. My question is for the ladies out there - do you need an orgasm to enjoy sex? Most women I've ever been with have said they don't so I always took that to be true, but the one I'm with now says she does want and expect an O every time... Now I fee...
A. 30 April 2017: I think you have a woman who KNOWS what she wants sexually and isn't afraid to TELL you. THAT in itself is a GOOD thing. That means she won't FAKE stuff to make you think you are the best thing since sliced bread in bed. If she is SATISFIED with you ... (read in full...)
Am I being too demanding? His excuse is, ''yes, but just not yet.''
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for several years. We do not live together. He wants me to move in with him, but I won't, because his ex-wife still has a key, and he refuses to change the locks. I don't feel safe leaving my things in his house ...
A. 30 April 2017: He says he wants to marry you but not yet... WHAT does that even mean? Does he give you an answer to WHEN he might think he would marry you?
He also says he cannot make up his mind whether he wants to marry you or not. WHICH I think is the actu... (read in full...)
How do I leave this abusive relationship? He always finds me when I do leave.
Q. How do I even begin to leave an abusive realationship?? My partner has became very abusive in the last 9 months ( I know what your going to think .. why am I still with him after that amount of time) the answer is I'm sacred!!) what can I do?! ...
A. 30 April 2017: https://www.womensaid.org.uk/the-survivors-handbook/making-a-safety-plan/
Is he "always" home? Do neither of you work?
Personally, I'd gather up ALL your important SMALL things. Like ALL valuables and important papers.
If it's NOT safe to... (read in full...)
Why does my ex keep tabs on who I date? What can I do?
Q. It’s ok if he moves on and is in a relationship but its not ok for me to do it?. I’m not saying I let him get involved in my life but my question is what can i do for him to stop/protect myself. (I actually don't let him get involved. He finds out ...
A. 30 April 2017: I would be CLEAR with the ex-bf that it needs to stop. And I'd look into stalking laws in your state. If he Is keeping tabs on you, you might BE able to have a restraining order against him.
I would ALSO make my Facebook face PRIVATE and LIMIT wh... (read in full...)
Best friends--to choose or not to choose?
Q. ****My first question was incomplete, ignore. Please answer this one!**** I am friends with these two guys for about 9 years. They are both married. I noticed over the past 4 years the relationship with the two of them crossed over so many bou...
A. 29 April 2017: They are both married! What are you thinking? Can't you find a single guy for yourself? Is it easier to chase after married guys?
I don't get it.
It sounds like you ENJOY this triangle thing and forget all about what is decent (not start shit ... (read in full...)
Does my friend have a fetish for trans guys?
Q. Dear Cupid(s), I have a cis-male friend who identifies as gay. I don't know if this is something I have noticed being transgender myself, but the only guys he has outwardly said he's attracted to when we are out, or together have all been transge...
A. 29 April 2017: Now forgive me for asking a dumb question here, when you say trans guys - do you mean men who are transitioning into women, men who live and dresses as women OR women who are transitioning into men/living/dressing as men?
I don't mean to be rude,... (read in full...)
How would men feel if they joked about something sexual and their partner said yes?
Q. Before I start, let me just say, I am not a woman of the world. I didn't lose my virginity until my wedding night, aged 24. Me and my husband have been married 12 years now and are still very much in love. The problem is our sex life. It is very ...
A. 28 April 2017: OH and OP,
I forgot to mention that the whole sex drive going from 5 to 10 ( or 100) is normal - Us women peek MUCH later than males when it comes to libido and desire.
As for wanting to try new things, it means you TRUST your partner. Which a... (read in full...)
What is going on with his ex? What should I do?
Q. Hi everyone, some of u may remember me from my past questions.. Ill give a little background info. Around october i was really active on this site, I'm 19 years old (now 20) and i was in a really toxic relationship with a 35 year old man.. It was...
A. 28 April 2017: I can tell you, but you probably won't like what I have to say...
YOU date men for their "imaginary" potential, not for who they are.
First, you date an older toxic guy whom you THANKFULLY (and good on ya!) got rid off.
And then you date a g... (read in full...)
How would men feel if they joked about something sexual and their partner said yes?
Q. Before I start, let me just say, I am not a woman of the world. I didn't lose my virginity until my wedding night, aged 24. Me and my husband have been married 12 years now and are still very much in love. The problem is our sex life. It is very ...
A. 28 April 2017: Just start out with "little-added" things. Don't try and go full blown on him. Wine him and dine him, and then suggest you try a new thing. If YOU want to take lead, do it. Just remember you have to be comfortable and HE has to be comfortable. Maybe ... (read in full...)
I want to help my boyfriend but I know I'll leave him eventually because my relationship is dead but I'm terribly attracted to his brother
Q. Hello there, So I have been in a relationship for 9 years. We started out as friends with benefits and then when I got into trouble financially I moved in with him. He's nice and we get along...we would be great friends. I have occasionally tri...
A. 28 April 2017: You can do it OP
It won't be easy, but you CAN do it. And you NEED to do it. Not just for you, but for your BF as well.
Work on one thing at a time - if it takes a few months for you exit strategy to work, so be it. I'd probably start b... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has a fetish for my work clothes, is that weird?
Q. My boyfriend has a fetish for my work clothes, is that weird? I work in an office and wear skirts and blouses on a daily basis. When I first started dating him he said he loved what I was wearing but recently it seems to have got even more intens...
A. 28 April 2017: I don't think it's a bad thing at all. I'd be more worried if he wanted you to dress up in little girl's school uniforms, if you get my drift...
I'd suggest he takes you SHOPPING for an outfit HE would like to see you in at home.
However, IF y... (read in full...)
How would men feel if they joked about something sexual and their partner said yes?
Q. Before I start, let me just say, I am not a woman of the world. I didn't lose my virginity until my wedding night, aged 24. Me and my husband have been married 12 years now and are still very much in love. The problem is our sex life. It is very ...
A. 28 April 2017: I think this is actually a common problem for people who have had fewer partners (in your case, only one). You grow in so many ways WITH your partner but you also have some growth on your own, you have curiosity and fantasies that are YOURS.
You a... (read in full...)
Boyfriend promised to pay for salon visit after being told the price then backed out but is willing to spend $$ on his niece??
Q. Last week, I told my boyfriend I'm going to get my hair colored for the first time. I showed him photos to get his opinion. After I settled on a style, he said he wanted to treat me to get my hair done. I told him he didn't have to do that and it ...
A. 27 April 2017: I wouldn't compare either.
Him buying a present for his niece is a whole other matter. So don't USE that as an "argument" because it makes YOU look petty and entitled. Imagine if he did that to a little kid?!
Do I think you have the right t... (read in full...)
My partner versus my children. Am I over-reacting about it all ?
Q. I've had a big argument with my partner and I'm wondering if I'm in the wrong about it all. I have two children from a previous relationship who are 13 and 11 and I think they are well behaved. They do extremely well in school, at parents evening ...
A. 26 April 2017: I have to agree with the other Aunties,
Your BF is an ass.
I'd actually look a the bigger picture and try and suss out who he has an issue with your kids. Does he not understand what being a PARENT is all about? Sure, it's not about letting yo... (read in full...)
Are the things we find attractive different for men and women?
Q. I can appreciate attractive people but find that in order to get aroused by a man or turned on , I need to know him and feel an attraction . A man simply looking physically attractive is not enough to turn me on. Therefore pictures of random naked ...
A. 26 April 2017: I'm a woman who doesn't HAVE to "get to know" a man to find him attractive or get aroused. A VOICE can do that for me. A nice body. A handsome smile. A wicked sense of humor.
I can also get turned on by a totally fictional character in a book wit... (read in full...)
Was I harsh for just blocking him ?
Q. I had been talking to this guy for almost 2 weeks and we went on 3 dates. Up until now he has been extremely attentive, the dates were great and I actually walked into the 1st date expecting nothing to come of it. There has been 0 sex involved, so ...
A. 26 April 2017: My advice?
Stop investing more than you get back. If he writes a 3-word text, you reply with 3 words as well.
If he takes 5 hours to answer, take 5 hours to reply.
If he never initiates texting or calling, don't waste any time being the... (read in full...)
Why won't my doctor shake my hand?
Q. Hi, I'm bit confused to why my doctor won't shake my hand when we are alone, but will when somelse in the room. We've know each for a while. He's in his early 40s and I'm in my early 20s is this normal ...
A. 24 April 2017: He could have an issue with handshakes - I for one don't like shaking people's hands when meeting. I am VERY good at avoiding it.
There is no NEED for him to shake your hand in order to examine you.
And lastly, it might be policy or out of... (read in full...)
Is my girlfriend being a hypocrite?
Q. Is my girlfriend being a hypocrite? So, my girlfriend works as a cam girl on a website. I was aware of her occupation before we started dating. Since she was on that site, I thought there'd be no problem if I register as a member of that site too...
A. 24 April 2017: I honestly can see her point. She IS there to work. While it might seem like "play" to you, it all about pretends and faking in front of a camera.
Do you want to go there to play around with other women? Or pay to play with her online?
Either ... (read in full...)
He doesn't want to be more than FWB do I tell him how I feel?
Q. Hi I've been friends with a guy for 3years the friendship turned to friends with benefits in January he stopped talking to me and now has got back in contact with me he said he stopped talking to me as he had soem family issues which he explained. ...
A. 24 April 2017: What do you think you will accomplish by telling him? That he will start treating you better? That he will WANT you?
I think you should let him go. He obviously has issues HE needs to sort out and you HAVE to listen when a guy says:" I'm N... (read in full...)
Is my relationship healthy?
Q. I am 20 and my boyfriend is 27. We got into a relationship pretty fast. I expressed how not having sex until marriage was important to me but after a month he talked me into it. We have went out a lot and he says things like this relationship...
A. 24 April 2017: I have to agree, if you are ASKING the question it's because there are things that FEEL off.
You are dating a guy who is 7 years older and MAYBE he is ready for kids, that doesn't mean YOU are or that you should even consider having kids WITH him... (read in full...)
Should my girlfriend be posting photos of the guy she was seeing when we were broken up?
Q. Hi, Recently broke up with my girlfriend and in our break we both were sexually active. The girl I slept with is around at all but the guy is as he's her friend. We got back together recently and she still posts photos of her with him and usually ...
A. 23 April 2017: I agree with Ciar,
I think getting back together is not a good idea at all. She SLEPT with a good friend, someone she will CONTINUE to be around regardless of how you feel and since he is a friend it's not too far-fetched that she posts pictures... (read in full...)
The boyfriend, the receipt and not sure of the meaning behind leaving it out
Q. We went out with my boyfriend and my parents for lunch. My parents are visiting from another country. They have met 3 times.. At lunch I asked the waitress for the check, my father wanted to pay. My boyfriend quickly left and I saw he is paying the ...
A. 23 April 2017: I wouldn't.
He MADE the choice to pay. I think for most MATURE men it's a way to SHOW the "in-laws" that they CAN take care of their partner.
Your parents need not be uncomfortable, he paid the bill in a VERY nice and discrete manner without c... (read in full...)
How do I approach a guy that I don't know?
Q. How can I aproach a guy I dont know? I dont talk about anyone special right now but I have a terrible fear of negative evaluation. I look good, I has a very modern clothing style and generally Im super talkative. But when it comes to talk to someone ...
A. 23 April 2017: Start by saying hi and smile. If he responds in a positive manner (says hi back and smiles). Just start with that.
Most people won't REJECT a hi or hello. So you are "safe" there.
If they seem interested you could tell them your name and/or... (read in full...)
Should I ask my husband about his scratch? Could he be cheating?
Q. Could a small scratch on your husband's ear - behind the ear lobe - mean he cheated? I just noticed it today. He was not clean shaven. He had stubble on his cheeks. So it could not be a razor cut. Should I confront him or leave it be?...
A. 23 April 2017: What else makes you think he is cheating - besides the little scratch?
What exactly made you think scratch = cheating?
For most people that would NOT be the first conclusion to come up with IMHO.
Here in the North, it's mosquito season the... (read in full...)
We are having an affair. Should my sister in law and I just run away together?
Q. Hello everyone, So my sister in law and I, ended up exchanging flirty messages and then it became wide open that we both wanted it. One thing led into another, before you know it we were having full on sex and everything in short order. It has be...
A. 23 April 2017: You write:
"We clearly are grown adults"
So why not ACT like adults? Sort out the MESS with your partners first, that means getting a divorce, settle financial responsibilities with that partner, BE single before getting together.
You... (read in full...)
She says she's into guys but does she like me?
Q. A girl has been getting closer to me and grabbing my wrist, and above my wrist but below the elbow. I'm also a girl but am not a lesbian. She says shes into guys but me and my friend are not so sure. my other friend is a girl. Do you think that girl ...
A. 23 April 2017: I have to agree with Denizen, grabbing your arm doesn't automatically mean sexual attraction or desire. There isn't enough to go on to guess whether she is or isn't.
In what context did she grab your arm?
Are you concerned that she MIGHT be int... (read in full...)
My wife's co-worker gifted her diamond jewellery. Would "just friends" do this?
Q. My wife recently received a "HW" diamond ankle bracelet and matching toe rings (2) from a fellow worker who she swears is just a good friend. They go out of town on business trips two or three times a month staying for at lest 2 nights each ...
A. 23 April 2017: What stands out to me the most is that she ACCEPTED this gift. That she even thought it was APPROPRIATE to accept. Male friends don't give married women diamond jewelry. That is (I know that might sound old fashioned... but...) the HUSBAND'S gig.
... (read in full...)
I want my boyfriend to be an equal, not another child to take care of
Q. Does my bloke not have any respect for me or is he is just useless.....my bloke and I have been together 17 months he moved in 3months ago with me and my 10yrold son ...but even tho he is great with my son (he's disabled) but he's useless in every ...
A. 22 April 2017: I'd tell him straight up that he isn't pulling his weight around the home. Simple as that.
Write out instructions for the washer and tape them to a surface where he can SEE it as he does laundry. I say that because I ACTUALLY know GROWN ASS MEN ... (read in full...)
He seems irritated, miserable and annoyed. Could smoking weed be affecting his moods?
Q. I've just been on holiday with my partner and children and we've come home and argued. I don't know what to say to him and I hope you could give me some advice. The first two days away he was smiling and laughing but then the third day he sai...
A. 22 April 2017: I think for some weed has a negative effect. Just like alcohol and drugs. For others? Totally mellow them out. I think it comes down to the person and the "quality" of the weed. Synthetic "weed" (which is much cheaper) is NOT good and doesn't affect ... (read in full...)
We broke up and we're not a couple any more. Should I be concerned that he's recently had a tattoo of my name inked on his neck?
Q. I'm completely puzzled as to why but my ex boyfriend has just this week gone and got my name tattooed onto the back of his neck and I'm worried he now thinks we are back together after I have been talking to him about the reason I left him. We wer...
A. 22 April 2017: I think it's a bad sign, to be honest. It's him REFUSING to face the facts.
I think he felt that YOU thought he didn't want kids because he didn't want to commit so, he thought that by getting your NAME tattooed onto him YOU would give up havi... (read in full...)
Fallen for my old classmate but now he ignores me.
Q. Good morning. I met my high school classmate online after 37 years. He is married for 30 years. He said he had an affair with two married women while his wife was working abroad. He became alcoholic too. And with the help of her mom, he ended into ...
A. 22 April 2017: Honestly, OP?
It sounds like NEITHER of you are in a place to romance someone new.
He is NOT the guy you knew 37 years ago, and you are not the women of 37 years ago either.
This is a nice little fantasy for the both of you to take your mind... (read in full...)
Why was all the porn my husband watched incest related? He says its just a coincidence
Q. I found my husbands browser history and all of the porn he had watched was incest porn, mostly step sister and step mom. He claims he didn't look at the titles. He just clicked on a few that looked good from the picture and waited to see which one ...
A. 22 April 2017: I don't think it's a total coincidence either. It might be the "taboo" that turns him on more than ACTUAL incest.
If the porn doesn't involve kids but adults PRETENDING to be related I honestly don't think it's an indication that he want to explo... (read in full...)
I want to help my boyfriend but I know I'll leave him eventually because my relationship is dead but I'm terribly attracted to his brother
Q. Hello there, So I have been in a relationship for 9 years. We started out as friends with benefits and then when I got into trouble financially I moved in with him. He's nice and we get along...we would be great friends. I have occasionally tri...
A. 22 April 2017: You have tried to carry a relationship for 9 years ALL by yourself. Your Bf is seeking help now, and that is good but you BOTH have to face the fact that it has RUN its course.
You are staying out of guilt, pity and a sense of duty owed to a fav... (read in full...)
He's going to prison for 10 years and I don't want to wait for him. Is that wrong?
Q. This is a really unique situation, I'm sure. So my fiance is going to be in prison for the next ten years. I've been with him 3 years. Is it bad for me to not want to wait for him?..I'm only in my mid 20s, and I don't want to put the rest of my ...
A. 22 April 2017: No.
That is the simple answer.
What I do wonder is why you seem to think it's almost "bad" to waste 10 years waiting but not so bad that he obviously committed a crime of serious nature to get 10 years.
If YOU don't want to wait 10 years ... (read in full...)
How do I help him through this rough patch?
Q. My boyfriend of a year is amazing but has been on edge lately. He's been upset with work recently and has been vocalizing this angrily while playing computer video games. He usually rarely plays. I understand he needs to release but I'm also a bit ...
A. 22 April 2017: You shouldn't HAVE to "handle" the noise the yelling and verbal aggression. Yes, it MAY not be directed at you (at the moment but he has already LAID a hand on you, which in MY book would have been the END of it. Someone verbally abusing me is just ... (read in full...)
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