I'm married and have fallen for a married friend. Do I pursue this?
Q. I am 29 years old. Im maried in 2010 with 2 kids (3 and 5). I met my wife when i was 15 and have been with her ever since. I have never cheated on her or even talked to another woman inappropriately. But the other day we were hanging out with some ...
A. 13 June 2017: I don't think anyone here was/is trying to "stone" you but to get you to use some common sense.
Cheating isn't the way to solve your OR her unhappy marriages and you know it. Otherwise, you wouldn't have posted on DC.
If you are BOTH miserab... (read in full...)
Do I stand my ground or make up with my mother?
Q. Hi folks. I'm in a bit of a predicament at the moment. I have my child's christening coming up this week and haven't invited my mother. Now I know that sounds awful but here's why (sorry for the essay) Basically all our lives my mum...
A. 13 June 2017: Wow.
I don't blame you or think you are cold hearted. AT ALL.
Personally? I think you have too high expectations of your mom. She will NEVER apologize for her antics. I think she could have the Factitious disorder (link below) - not that I'm q... (read in full...)
Why am I so stuck on social media?
Q. Hello everyone About two years ago I used to hang out with a group of girls that weren't that great - they were gossip fueled - vain - and all they cared about is showing off and getting married. For two years I fell into that hole - I started...
A. 12 June 2017: Take a break from social media?
Have a friend/family member change your Password and NOT give it to you for 30-60 days.
I quit Facebook a few years ago because I was so tired of other people's drama ending up in MY face. Especially famil... (read in full...)
I'm married and have fallen for a married friend. Do I pursue this?
Q. I am 29 years old. Im maried in 2010 with 2 kids (3 and 5). I met my wife when i was 15 and have been with her ever since. I have never cheated on her or even talked to another woman inappropriately. But the other day we were hanging out with some ...
A. 12 June 2017: My question to you OP is as follows:
Do you want to ruin two marriages over lust?
If your wife isn't giving you what you NEED and you two can't work it out ( I'd suggest you try a couples counselor before tossing in the towel) then maybe divor... (read in full...)
My love life has made me depressed
Q. I have had a difficult relationship history. I changed cities and changed boyfriends in my 20's - atleast 4 of them. These were men who really liked me and I left them. I was dumped twice by two similar Casanova-type of men in between, which made it ...
A. 12 June 2017: For one, GET that divorce over with. Your husband doesn't deserve this. You need to set him free instead of hurting him over and over because YOU aren't satisfied with yourself and your life.
So get that sorted and do it ASAP.
After that, m... (read in full...)
How do I test if he is commited?
Q. I have been seeing this guy for a couple of months but I have known him about 2 years. I started off being wary of him (for various reasons relating to the past 2 years) but he made a really big effort to tell me he was serious about where the ...
A. 12 June 2017: Honestly?
Don't "test" people. Watch and pay attention to them instead. And try to follow the "golden rule" of giving NO more than you get (at least until you know where you both stand).
Have YOU tried to set something up? Give him a couple of ... (read in full...)
He says he wants to be friends but to be patient. Is he playing games with me?
Q. When I was 22, I was in a very serious relationship. After his father died, he broke up with me. We didnt speak for a number of years. We both married other people, and had children. We found each other again, I was divorced, he was happily married, ...
A. 12 June 2017: I fully agree with Cindy.
I think he used you to escape grief for a few. And now that his conscience has "woken" he has decided that a relationship IS too soon (which I agree with) but he WANTS to keep you around for potential sex on tap.
... (read in full...)
Fear I'll always be comparing new guys to my ex
Q. My ex and I broke up almost exactly 1 month ago. It was one of the most painful breakups I've ever experienced. I thought our relationship was really good. He was incredibly considerate, kind, and dependable. He was always going out of his way to ...
A. 11 June 2017: Don't date till you are totally over the ex. And I'd avoid "meaningless" sex as well. Just get back to YOU, find your happy spot.
Sure, you can compare people in your life if you CHOOSE to but what is the point?
It's only been a month and it e... (read in full...)
Am I too sexual for him? Our sex life seems bland.
Q. Hi need some advice on my sex life. So I've been in a relationship for two years and I love my bf very much. The problem is that our sex life is quite bland. I am quite adventurous and kinky I love to go down on him but he doesn't reciproc...
A. 11 June 2017: I think you need to look at his ACTIONS here. His actions are that he likes the "verbal fantasy" but don't want to try it in reality. I think he is afraid that YOU rather be with a girl than him or that he can't perform/live up to expectations.
... (read in full...)
Upset because I was not included on a night out
Q. If you were not invited to a work social event and 3/4 the rest of your female colleagues were would you feel left out? It was a one colleague's 24th birthday, and later that same day another colleague's, who is 29, hens/bachellorette dinner. Pic...
A. 11 June 2017: I agree with N91.
If you don't socialize at work or outside of work I don't see the big deal. I have had coworkers I like but wouldn't invite to social things outside of work. Doesn't matter how long you have known them at work.
If you were p... (read in full...)
What can I do? How should I handle this? Her sexual past and her ex who was her FWB are issues that are making me feel insecure.
Q. Ok so me and my gf have been going out for about 8 months. And I've been struggling with her sexual past a lot recently. She's slept with about 10 people before me, they were all ons apart from one friends with benefits she had just before we start...
A. 10 June 2017: Honestly, OP?
If it bothered you so MUCH maybe she isn't a good match for you.
My husband was a VERY promiscuous teen, married young, divorced you and then spend a couple of year in his 20's being more promiscuous. I don't know HIS number, nor ... (read in full...)
Feeling un-easy about my gf going on cruise. Am I going to be cheated on during the cruise?
Q. My girlfriend of 6 months is going on a cruise with her family for a week here soon, I am just kinda of un-easy because of all the stories I've heard about what happens on cruises. I'm her first ever bf and she's never given me a reason to suspect ...
A. 10 June 2017: There is no way to guarantee a "NO you won't get cheated on" but there is also no way of knowing that she would.
BUT... If I had to venture a guess? I'd say no. While being on a cruise can seem romantic, she is there with her parents and will pro... (read in full...)
He has Mommy issues 2. Should I move on? Or wait for him?
Q. I was with this guy for about a couple of months, we met on a dating site..he has Mommy issues, he is in his 30s amd his mom lives with him but they constantly fight she belittles him and he just takes iy because she has no where else to go.. He end...
A. 10 June 2017: Oh, LET him go!
And BLOCK him from all your social media, snapchat etc.
Even if he DOES change his mind, he might change it again and again and treat YOU like a revolving door.
If you have to WISH him well, BLOCK him and move on.
He is NO... (read in full...)
What's the best thing to do? I have a crush on a hot co-worker
Q. Well, I have a crush on coworker, but she is dating another co-worker and has a kid with him. She asked me if I think her boyfriend would cheat on her. I told her "no, I didn't think so". She supposed to come over and hang out, but Im not going to ...
A. 10 June 2017: I'd stay FAR away from that drama.
She has a BF and a child with him. So do YOU want to be responsible for this kid's loss of a "family unit"? Just because you find her hot?
Have some sense, OP - date OUTSIDE your workplace and don't get involv... (read in full...)
Male FWB wants me to finger him and I don't want this. Am I being over sensitive?
Q. I just got into a casual fling type relationship with a guy at uni, he's in his final year and leaving this summer so its only for a few months. We haven't had sex yet but have been making out etc. When we were making out last night with undies ...
A. 10 June 2017: No, if you don't want to, you don't want to. It's OK to say no.
While some men enjoy a thumb up their arse, that is great as long as the person USING said thumb is OK with it.
As for the girl who introduced him to it, maybe he should stick wit... (read in full...)
I advised the male friend that jacking off is normal, but telling me all about it is not. How should I deal with this issue when I raise it with my Bf?
Q. Hello, I've been here historically and your answers have really helped me so I am hoping you can help me with something else as I honestly don't know how to talk to anyone about this or if I should. Before I get into it I need to point out that I...
A. 10 June 2017: I think it depends. (whether you should tell your BF and/or dump this friend).
I DO think if he suffers from obsessive thoughts he might not be at all able to control what/how he says things. And if one of his "issues" is that he feels a need to ... (read in full...)
Why can't my wife understand my need to cross-dress? Why is she so upset that I wore her clothes?
Q. My wife knows I am a crossdresser so why was she so angry at me when I came home the other night. I was completely dressed, with a full make over, my eyebrows plucked super thin with a high arch in them and my ears pierced. She said she knows t...
A. 10 June 2017: She is upset because she thought she married a man. Not a man who likes to "play" woman or WANTS to be a woman.
Did she know and AGREE to marry you knowing you liked to cross-dress? Or is the cross-dressing something that you "found" later on... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has been mock hitting me
Q. Hi, we've been in a relationship my boyfriend and I for 8 mth, we live together, he is a musician, gets hard for him to be talkative so I beleive he is not that skillful linguistically, and I understand the musician he is and how introvert he could ...
A. 9 June 2017: Honestly? I think it's a red flag. And I don't think there is a GOOD excuse for him to do this.
However, HE will continue because there are no consequences from your end, giving him a stern "lecture" does not make him understand that it's unaccept... (read in full...)
How much should I spend on my boyfriend's kids' graduations?
Q. Hi, I'm not very familiar with the US culture. My boyfriends son and daughter are graduating from high school and middle school. They have a party soon and I don't know what's the norm here and what I should get for them. Do you think spending l...
A. 9 June 2017: Ask him.
Is the mother involved in the graduations as well? If so she might already have considered the cake (for some, cake a such a big deal...)
Personally? I wouldn't spend $300 on a kid who finished middle school - I think a party is fine ... (read in full...)
My partner for 3 years loves me. Would it be wrong to take a chance with another man who I've loved for 27 years?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have recently been contacted by the man I've been in love with for 27 years. There are songs I couldn't listen to, our anniversary date that I still hold dear to my heart. I hadn't laid eyes on him in 18 years and that one time wa...
A. 8 June 2017: I have to say, the general advice given may not BE what you wanted to hear but it is REALISTIC, not belittling.
I think regardless of the advice given you will probably do it anyways - it is your life and your choice. And I also think it's one... (read in full...)
The 60 year old professor doesn't know me. Advice, please? Should I tell him my feelings for him?
Q. hello guys, I have a crush on my professor, he is 60 years old, it been more than 2 years, I don't know what to do. I'm always thinking of him. He is so smart and handsome, I like his personality and smile. I feel I need to know him,and talk...
A. 8 June 2017: It sounds like infatuation, OP - not love.
How well do you even know this guy? Is he married? Does he have a family?
And WHAT do you think would come of telling him?
And what is he supposed to do with that knowledge? You are leaving anyways ... (read in full...)
Should I be worried? He's 18 years older than me, separated and with kids.
Q. So I have been seeing this amazing guy for a few months now and I'm head over heels for him. He is the same towards me. The only thing that worries me is he is 18 years older than me and is separated with kids... Advice please?...
A. 8 June 2017: He is separated NOT divorced. So he still has LEGAL obligations to his wife and family OVER you.
If I were you, I'd wait till his divorce is final before jumping into anything. Why do I say that? Because it DOES happen that people who are separate... (read in full...)
Is it possible for a virgin to contract a PID?
Q. Hello, I'm in my thirties and I got married about two months ago and my wife is 27. My wife told me she's a virgin,that she didn't have sex in her previous relationships but I opened up to her that I've had sex before. On our first night, she...
A. 8 June 2017: Just like men's penises have different sizes and shapes, SO does women's vaginas. Your wife's vagina might just BE wider than what YOU think it should be. she might also have a loose pelvic floor (not good muscle tone in the area) which makes it ... (read in full...)
Should I commit to moving? Worried about his cheating in past and about leaving my family
Q. Hi! I have been in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for a little over two years. He is 27 and I'm 21, so naturally he has more experience than I do. 6 months into our relationship, he confessed that he had cheated on me, so we broke up...
A. 8 June 2017: I agree with WiseOwlE
FINISH your education and if you two are still together, go from there.
Sounds like he could be military ( in basic training now?) so he could be stationed in Korea, Japan, Germany or the UK (just to mention a few ov... (read in full...)
What were his intentions in messaging me everyday, only to then friend-zone me?
Q. Hello everyone. I've been friends with this guy for a little over a year now. He was a friend of a friend, and one day he messaged me and started talking about relationships. I responded and it followed with us messaging each other back and fort...
A. 8 June 2017: That makes sense, OP
And it might explain WHY he wasn't more CLEAR in making sure you knew he only saw you as a friend. He probably didn't think YOU would be interested, after all, you had been his friend (in his eyes) who listened to him and help... (read in full...)
I met a very genuine guy, but could this be too good to be true?
Q. Hi! I'm currently a in college, and have recently gotten out of a relationship about five months ago. He was my first relationship and first love, as we talked for months over the summer before I entered college. He was very respectful and we did ...
A. 7 June 2017: I don't see anything to worry about from what you write. But maybe YOU just need to go a bit slower.
Spend time with him, be it going for a cup of coffee or a walk in the park - he seems to have "old fashioned" manners and I don't think that is ... (read in full...)
My husband doesn't like blow jobs! Am I doing it wrong?
Q. I know this may sound odd, but my husband hates blowjobs. We've been together 8 years now, married for 2 and it's always been the same since I've known him, he's never enjoyed me going down on him. I have only ever gave 1 guy a blowjob before h...
A. 7 June 2017: Just like there are women who aren't fans of oral there ARE guys who don't enjoy them either.
Though I don't agree that it's "degrading" to you, that is HOW he thinks. And that is hard to change.
So stick with hand-jobs (if he likes that) and ... (read in full...)
Is he rushing things by telling me he loves me when we've only been talking online for less than a month?
Q. Hello everyone, So i'm 19 years old and there's a guy i met online, who's really cute, smart and i like him. It's my first time really liking someone. We still didn't meet, though we're chatting everyday for hours.. The thing is he told me late...
A. 7 June 2017: Yes, he is rushing things. Maybe not on purpose, maybe he has been caught up in the "fantasy" that you two of have built. (or rather that HE has built in his head)
He can't KNOW if you two will be together forever or even work out in person. ... (read in full...)
What were his intentions in messaging me everyday, only to then friend-zone me?
Q. Hello everyone. I've been friends with this guy for a little over a year now. He was a friend of a friend, and one day he messaged me and started talking about relationships. I responded and it followed with us messaging each other back and fort...
A. 7 June 2017: I agree with WiseOwlE,
You were his sounding board and his "coach". I think it's easy to see why you thought he meant more, but when he started talking about the girl he had a crush on didn't you stop to think: "wait, if he is interested in me wh... (read in full...)
Is something going on behind my back? Should I trust him?
Q. Is it strange for your partner of 17 years not to add you on Facebook when he says it's for workmates ..which is a lie I've never met one person he works with in 8 years has been in the same job . By accident I came across a 3 year old Twitter ...
A. 7 June 2017: Enjoy your vacation!
And don't let him "borrow" your car and house while you are gone! Change the locks if he has a key.... (read in full...)
Advice please? I'm 17, doing my A levels, and I really want to have a baby.
Q. I'm only 17 but I am really wanting to have a baby. I've been with my amazing, supportive boyfriend for coming up to 2 years and he's everything to me. I'm currently having a really hard time at sixth form with my A levels, and have had to chan...
A. 6 June 2017: Don't pop out a child you can't take care off because the career you THOUGHT you were going to have isn't going to be easy to achieve.
It's OK having to WORK hard to get where you want to go. If your A-level doesn't come out to be as good as ... (read in full...)
Is my perfectionist boyfriend overly critical of my looks? Or am I oversensitive?
Q. My bf used to think my looks were perfect. But he seems to put me down lately. Like he doesn't like a birth mark on my nose. I can't control that. He tells me that my body is perfect for a woman my age but that I am not 20 anymore. He sa...
A. 6 June 2017: OP? If I were you I'd stop asking him to critique your body.
I'm guessing he IS trying to take you down a peg or two and most likely so he doesn't feel like a fat pregnant woman next to you.
YOU need to love YOU and how you look. Sure we al... (read in full...)
I don't think he wants a divorce but he wants his freedom
Q. My husband left me for another women but came back. He was with her for 18 months. I was devastated and profoundly affected. Our marriage wasn't perfect but we had been together for 22 years. We both had a hand in it but I never would hav betrayed ...
A. 6 June 2017: I think should be LESS about what HE wants but what YOU want.
Obviously, you CAN'T have a faithful husband because that is NOT what he wants - so WHERE do you from here with the knowledge that you do have?
You have been together for 22+... (read in full...)
I did not choose the dress my boyfriend loved. Did I make a mistake?
Q. Hi. I took my boyfriend shopping. He is one of the rare guys who enjoys shopping with his girlfriend. He likes to help me find clothes and watches me as I try them on and always gives me his honest opinion. Yesterday we were out shopping...
A. 5 June 2017: It really depends on what country OP is from. Black dress for a wedding is not a "faux pas" everywhere. Especially, for themed weddings. White, however, IS considered a big no-no. Yet, again it ALL comes down to the bride and groom.
BUT if you a... (read in full...)
What do I do? I feel I can't trust him anymore after what's happened.
Q. Hi I've been in what I thought was a happy relationship for the past 3 and a half years. A couple of weeks ago I went on my Facebook and seen he had became friends with 2 women. I asked who they were and he denied he had added anyone. I had my s...
A. 5 June 2017: I'm on the "dump him" team too.
This is not some "one-off" this is just the first time you have caught him. NEXT time (and there will be a next time - I say that because he showed NO remorse and he lied about it) he will HIDE it better.
You are... (read in full...)
I think this 55 year old man may be harassing me. Can someone help me with this problem?
Q. Hey can someone help me out? Gonna explain the story here sorry if its long. Im 20 years old. I live in a small town where they're aren't many bars and there are like 2 or three bars people go to. My boyfriend is a regular at one he's been going ...
A. 5 June 2017: 1. get a new number - that way he can't call you again. Start with blocking the number see if that help, if not... get a new number.
2. I suggest you talk to friends/family about this so they KNOW it's going on, you might even want to consider... (read in full...)
We went on 5 dates in the past. How should I view his reaction, yesterday?
Q. Yesterday I bumped into the guy I went on a few dates with( 5 dates) a few months ago. It were only 5 dates but it lasted almost 2 months because he was abroad and rarely could see each other. I called after him and he saw me, smiled very happily...
A. 5 June 2017: What should you think?
That the man is still full of crap.
WORDS are cheap, OP. He seemed happy and chatty because he didn't want a scene and he enjoyed getting some attention momentarily. Don't read anything further into this.
Put him... (read in full...)
What should I do? A shower get with sparkly elements for men? What could be the explanation?
Q. Hi there guys/gals My boyfriend who I have a long distance relationship came around although asked me to run him a bath whilst on the way. When he arrived I made him a cup of tea so he sat on the bed to drink it before he had his bath. I coul...
A. 5 June 2017: Did you check out the product? Because I wouldn't be surprised if some men's shower/lotion/bath products have a shimmer to them. Or perhaps he is using one that ISN'T specifically for men, maybe he likes the scent or the shimmer?
My question... (read in full...)
I went away with my boyfriend but now that we're back home, I feel like he's tired of me
Q. My boyfriend and I went away on a mini vacation for four days together. We both had such a fun time. It's a drag to be back home to be honest. On the car ride back, my boyfriend was feeling down because the trip was coming to an end. I felt down ...
A. 5 June 2017: I think he just needs a breather. As LOVELY as 4 days, 24/7 was, he might just need a little time and space to recharge.
I'm the same way. Being with people 24/7 drives me to give myself little TIME OUTS. And I still do that even AFTER 20 years to... (read in full...)
Would you stay with a guy who doesn't think you are a "vital" part of his life???
Q. Would you be with a guy who knows he is a vital part of your life but he tells you that you are NOT a vital part of his???...
A. 5 June 2017: That depends. Do you WANT to be a vital part of his? If you do, then HE isn't the one for you.
Don't make a guy the SUN of your life where you just orbits HIM. Have a full live of your own, especially at your age.
And remember when a guy says ... (read in full...)
I did not choose the dress my boyfriend loved. Did I make a mistake?
Q. Hi. I took my boyfriend shopping. He is one of the rare guys who enjoys shopping with his girlfriend. He likes to help me find clothes and watches me as I try them on and always gives me his honest opinion. Yesterday we were out shopping...
A. 5 June 2017: You answered your own question, OP
"But at the end of the day, it should be my choice. Not his."
As long as the black dress isn't inappropriate ( and I have SEEN some slutty dresses at places they didn't belong like Dining out (military ball) ... (read in full...)
Why would a man of his age want to have an affair with a much younger woman?
Q. I am married and now having an affair with a man who told me he 70, but I did abackground check and hes 82!! My guess is he did not want to reveal his real age because I would have said no way. I really like him. I just think it's strange that a ...
A. 4 June 2017: Well, WHY not?
If a woman (AT any age) is willing to be a mistress why should the man worry about age?
And why would he lie? Well, he probably lies to up his chance of getting the woman to agree, he probably is USED to lying - after all, what ... (read in full...)
Is something going on behind my back? Should I trust him?
Q. Is it strange for your partner of 17 years not to add you on Facebook when he says it's for workmates ..which is a lie I've never met one person he works with in 8 years has been in the same job . By accident I came across a 3 year old Twitter ...
A. 4 May 2017: Why is he still living OFF/WITH you?
He is acting shady - and seriously did you "swallow" that "I went to visit her with coworkers when she broke her leg but nothing has happened" because I'd call BS.
Sorry, I'd wish him well and kick him out... (read in full...)
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